Movie tie-ins were often considered bad back in the ’90s. It always seemed that the developers banked more on the licensing and name value than they did on the actual mechanics of the game. But every once in a while you get a bit of a gem. A diamond in the rough if you will. True Lies is one such example. Not only does it make excellent usage of its intellectual property, but it stands up well on its own even if you were to strip away the name value and likeness of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thirsting for a fun violent overhead shooter? True Lies may be the sleeper hit you’ve been looking for. Let’s dive in…
ADVENTURES IN MOVIE HOPPING
The Maskwasn’t the only film we saw on July 30, 1994
My friends and I remained in our seats as the end credits to The Mask rolled. The usual “So, what did you think?” question made its way down the row in the midst of strangers stepping around us to exit the theater. Ben, the oldest in the group, had a devious look on his face when the question found its way to him. Our group didn’t have a leader, per se, but as the oldest, Ben held ringleader status among a few other alpha males (namely Tommy and the guy we affectionately referred to as Sushi-X). Ben was also a kid at heart. He was the first in the group to get his driver’s license and he was always a rebel. I stared at his grinning mug a couple seats over. The twinkle in his eye suggested he was up to no good. “I really liked it. Know what else I’d really like? To watch True Lies right now…”
Time to double down…
Being a young innocent and naive kid, I thought Ben meant go pay for a second ticket. But as we walked out of the theater I noticed my group heading toward the auditorium with the marquee headlined by True Lies, rather than the ticket entrance. Holy crap, Ben wanted to pull off a grand heist (through 10 year old eyes it felt like a big crime anyhow)! My heart was racing and my palms felt like the bottom of a jet ski skipping across the ocean. As fate would have it, this next showing of True Lies was set to start right after The Mask. Was it a sign? Was it meant to be? I just knew they were my ride home, so I had little say in the matter. Ben, leading the charge, approached the double doors and looked back at us to steal a glance. He gave us a hearty nod with a devil-may-care smile. He swung the doors open and we followed him in like lemmings committing a heinous group crime in the still of the night…
As we shuffled our way through and up to the top, I remember fearing for my life that our cover would be blown. Movie hopping was something I’d seen happen on TV sitcoms growing up. I never knew of anyone in real life who ever actually did it. It was almost like an urban myth to me as a kid. Anyone who dares to try sneaking into a movie for free was going to be caught red-handed, kicked out and banned from movie theaters for life. A mugshot would be plastered all over the country at all local theaters, denying you admittance from all future flicks. A little over dramatic but hey, I was 10! We grabbed our seats as the lights began to dim. I remember glancing out at the sea of humanity below me thinking how many others had sneaked in here free from The Mask? And how many of us were going to get caught? As the first trailer played, I could only imagine the worst…
Ben looked crazed. This clearly wasn’t his first rodeo
“Come on everyone, the coast is clear. Let’s go!”
“I can’t believe we’re doing this! I mean this is crazy!”
“SHUT UP! Keep it down over there. Act like you’ve done this before.”
Ben was only 17 but he was like a seasoned vet…
“I dunno, Ben. I kinda have a bad feeling about this…”
“Ah you wussbag. Grow some balls, will ya. Ain’t no one gonna catch us… not if you just play it cool.”
“I dunno about this either…”
“Will you guys zip it, huh? This is a fool proof plan so just follow my lead.”
No one, huh?
That sure didn’t look like NO ONE to me, Ben.
At least, that’s how I envisioned it playing out as I sat there with the trailers blaring at my face in heavenly surround sound.
Luckily, we made it safely to our seats without incident… for now, anyhow…
Any slight movement to and from the door had me squirming in my seat. I struggled to pay any attention to the trailers. My eyes kept darting over the room looking out for any ushers who might come crush us for the sins of our youth.
Ben was nuts, but the big lug never did let me down
After a few minutes went by and we were in the clear, for the moment at least, I stole a glance at Ben. Son of a bitch was kicking back like he was at home in his PJs. But I had to admire the bastard. At just 17 years old he had a carefree and magnetic aura that I couldn’t help but admire. Ben was a kid at heart if I ever saw one.
It wasn’t long before the movie began. No usher ever came to rebuke us. We had a wonderful time watching True Lies. While I don’t advocate or promote movie hopping (because it’s morally wrong), this remains a fond memory of the fun times I had running with my game crew back in the day.
Ben approves this messageAnd hey, who didn’t have fun watching this?
THE STORY GOES…
Aziz spearheads the terrorist group Crimson JihadArnold plays Harry Tasker, tasked to foil Aziz’s plansArnold almost died on set riding this horse!One of the film’s best scenes!Out of room but NOT out of resources…Holy shit…HOLY SHIT!“I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT”True Lies was a good return to form for Arnold
“What da hell were ya thinkin’? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away.”
ARNOLD’S BIG TOYS
You start out with a standard 15-clip hand gun. The bad news? It’s sort of weak and after every 15th shot you must reload, leaving you vulnerable for a precious second. The good news? Unlimited ammo. ProTip: when it’s safe, fire off all your shots once you get down to five or so. The last thing you want is to have to reload during a crucial moment. Therefore, ALWAYS keep it fully stocked.
Now we’re talking! The Uzi is like the hand gun except it spits out bullets like no tomorrow. In addition, you automatically lock yourself in whichever direction you are firing. The Uzi also allows you to turn at unique angles, giving you the possibility of sniping scumbags from a position where, with any other gun, you wouldn’t be able to. It’s definitely handy for clearing a room full of bad guys. Just too bad it eats up a ton of ammo quickly.
The shotgun fires a powerful spread shot that fires five shots. But just like in Doom, if you clip someone rather than blast them straight on, the power is greatly reduced. It’s also slow to load so make sure each shot counts. It’s annoying though that the bullets only travel a certain length before disappearing. Still, it’s a blast to pump terrorists full of lead point blank!
BURN BABY BURN
The flamethrower is the most powerful weapon. It instantly eviscerates upon contact. Like the Uzi, firing this locks you in position and you can turn to fry anyone within your vicinity. Also like the Uzi it eats up ammo faster than a sumbitch.
The land mine is the perfect weapon to lure victims in. Unfortunately once you set it down there’s a three second delay for the mine to activate, so it’s no good if you are near your enemy. But if you see him coming from afar, the land mine can be a true game changer.
I love all of the weapons for different reasons, but the grenade just might be my favorite. Let’s see why below…
HOW TO BE A CERTIFIED BADASS
Toss a grenade at the punk on the lower left
Gotta love how Beam Software strategically placed that small table there. It’s ripe for bouncing one over…
ROLLING THUNDER
Somersault to victory — if you press the shoot button right after rolling, Arnold will get up on one knee and start firing. Used correctly, this technique can provide a huge boost.
CINEMATIC SHOTS
Albeit a bit pixelated, these lovely photos had a strikingly realistic look.
LEVEL 1: CRASHING THE DINNER PARTY
“Sorry, please forgive me!”Kill three? Game overUse the nifty lock button to hold down your positionWait for him to reload…Then make your move!
How you use corners and walls to your advantage can make the difference between victory and death. Strategic positioning is pivotal!
LEVEL 2: MAYHEM AT THE MALL
[I prefer Kay Bee Terrorists, myself -Ed.]“FREEZE!” *guy looks at watch*“Damn near shot yo ass!”Somewhere Zack Morris is smiling
[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack’s phone -Ed.]
Proof that mobile phones will be the death of us
Deals so good people are DYING to shop here. SorryLooks like he took it a bit too literally…The restroom scene from the movie is awesomeProTip: He’s the last guy you wanna pissoff…See a guy peeing with his shades on? F*CKING RUN
An action scene of Schwarzeneggerian proportions!
Beam even replicated the restroom tiles to a tee!
“MURICA!”Love the bullet holes“My, what did you have for lunch?”
LEVEL 3: PANDEMONIUM IN THE PARK
“Sorry to crash your meet up group like this!”
I love the little details in games. About halfway through the park you run into a group of training martial artists. As you pass you can actually hear their grunts of “HOO!” “HA!” “HEE!” It’s pretty dang awesome. These guys are harmless so don’t shoot them, but the bad guys sure can. It’s too bad a movie starring both Arnold and Bruce Lee was never meant to be.
They never flinch, just like Donnie Yen in Rogue One
“IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT”
LEVEL 4: SUBWAY SUICIDE
The bad news? This level is as hard as a brickThe sheer violence is disturbingly satisfying…But maybe not this time“I got your five dollar foot long right here, BISHES!”Too close for comfort!
Trains whiz by, giving you barely just enough time to reach each alcove.
“Don’t worry guys — I got him!”“OH SHIT…”
Notice how his grenade is poorly aimed and how it bounces off the side of the train…
The computer’s wild, random and unpredictable AI makes playing True Lies a blast, pardon the pun. You never know when they accidentally commit genocide on themselves…
I cringe everytime Arnold goes out this way… OUCH
LEVEL 5: SHOOTIN’ ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY
Hard to explain but it’s got a cool 1990 8-bit NES vibe
All ambiance here. No music, only crashing waves…“You shoot, I shoot, remember?”
GOTDAMN!True Lies is without a shadow of a doubt Arnold-approved.
Fry his ass from a safe angleOr better yet, toss a grenade…It’s true. Good luck…
LEVEL 6: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
Guy on the left took it to heart, apparently
“DIDN’T I JUST KILL YOU!?! AHH!!” Rock-It-Ralph gets the last laugh.
You could jump it, sure, but it’s not nearly as fun
Believe it or not, he’s even deadlier than Rock-It-Ralph. Mainly because this bastard actually moves. Better say your prayers…
PEEK-A-BOO, BITCH
Explore! Or you just might pay a steep priceTrue Lies is one of the hardest SNES games ever
Imagine wading through this hellhole. Rockets are screaming past you in tight quarters while gun slinging flunkies set their sights on you. Now imagine having to backtrack through this after discovering you’d forgotten to locate a key. No worst feeling in this game.
Mercifully there’s no respawning. Killed enemies stay dead. In some cases you’ll find yourself not killing but sneaking by best as you can. Keep in mind that enemies not killed will have to be dealt with if you need to backtrack.
LEVEL 7: REFINERY RAMPAGE
Nice to see the DOOM barrels make a cameo
LEVEL 8: SPACE HARRIER
LEVEL 9: ANOTHER SLAY AT THE OFFICE
LEVEL 10: AZIZ MEETS HIS BITTER END
Look familiar? It’s plucked right out of the movieA young Eliza Dushku hangs precariously in the airUhh, it’s a harrier. “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” Ah forget itArnold had some of the best one liners in history
Sorry Art Malik, I have to agree [You’re one to talk -Ed.]“I got TWO words for ya…” [SUCK IT?!? -Ed.]
TOO MUCH HEAT? YOU CAN ALWAYS CHEAT
Some games are rock hard. Others are near impossible. And then, there’s True Lies. While the first two or three levels start out fairly manageable, it isn’t long before the curve spikes and you find yourself dying over and over again. Now normally I’m not the biggest proponent of using cheat codes, but when a game is maddeningly difficult I’m not against evening up the odds a bit. For example, BGWPNS (big weapons) allows you to start with all weapons (but not infinite ammo). That’s reasonably fair. Another code gives you invincibility which isn’t fair but good for when you just want to blow shit up. Amusingly enough, to enable this God mode you have to input the command BGGRLY. Yes, BIG GIRLY. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers!
The stages are so long they have to be split up!
Level select codes have always been my favorite. It really increases the longevity of games lacking a save feature. Sometimes I want to jump to a certain part of a game, beat just that part and call it a night. It’s handy for those moments when you just wanna play for 15 minutes before bed.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!”
The game earned respectable scores. EGM gave it ratings of 8, 7, 7and 6.5. GameFan rated it 79, 73 and 70%. Super Play Magazine scored it 74%. They agreed that True Lies is one of the better movie game efforts but two glaring flaws hold it back from being a great title. The music and gun sound effects are a bit weak. The other flaw is its extreme difficulty. As for the film, it was a success for the most part. It was the first movie in history to boast a budget of over 100 million and it raked in 378 million worldwide. Critics and fans alike enjoyed its mix of action and comedy, with bits of romance sprinkled in for good measure. Jamie Lee Curtis won the Golden Globe Award for best actress. Damn, who could forget that infamous strip scene? Steamy stuff! True Lies also marked a strong comeback for Arnold who starred in the flop Last Action Hero the summer prior. It’s interesting to note that this was James Cameron’s baby in-between T2: Judgment Day and Titantic. Ah, the days when Cameron ruled the cinematic world, eh?
Still waiting on the sequel: FALSE TRUTHS
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”
Movie game adaptations in the ’90s were often times more miss than hit. True Lies, for the most part, is a hit. The action comes at you fast and furious, yet during the calm before the storm you have to be methodical and strategic. It’s a combo that works well, rewarding flexible players who excel in scrums and who show an affinity for meticulous planning and precision. Many of the game’s stages are scenes plucked straight out of the movie, and the ones that are re-imagined add a rather nice bit of environmental diversity. All of the classic locales are present such as public parks, decrepit catacombs and even a dour refinery. But it also has some unique settings you just don’t see often, such as the local mall and a stage that takes place on the loading dock. This results in giving the game a nice breadth and makes each new level something to look forward to. Visuals are solid and the blood, though cartoony, add an extra sense of brutality. The music loops unfortunately and is certainly not a shining point of the game. The guns don’t sound all that realistic, either. Small gripes though, really.
What really makes True Lies stand out is its sheer, unadulterated violence. It’s loud. It’s brash. It’s grisly. Grenades send victims sprawling 10 feet in the air as blood spills and bodies singe. It’s a great game to pop in after a tough day at work, as few things satisfy like wasting bastards point blank via shotgun, followed by roasting someone alive. On the downside, it’s way too difficult. The levels are long and can take 15-25 minutes to complete, which has its pros and cons. The later levels are maze-like which contribute to the time it takes to beat them. Some levels have you fetching items which impedes the shooting mayhem. Enemies always seem to know where you are, even if they can’t see you. The lock button helps but a quick 180° turn option would have helped even more.
“HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!”
Angling your shots and positioning yourself properly is absolutely key. But even if you do all that, it will STILL eat you up and spit you out. Thank goodness then for codes that give you more of a fighting chance. Despite its flaws, there aren’t too many titles comparable to True Lies on the Super Nintendo. It’s worthy of the Arnold name, providing wanton destruction the likes of which few others can match. It’s one of my pet favorites and although the game has received its fair share of “under the radar” props, I still love singing its praises whenever I can. It’s one of the best movie tie-in games on the SNES!
Graphics: 8
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7
Overall: 8.0 Silver Award
Blasting terrorists in a public restroom? Priceless“Next time you should listen to me. I said I need to pee!”
The SNES has a ton of amazing games. But when you turn your eye to the Japanese side of things, that’s when you truly realize how deep and phenomenal the library is. On September 8, 2006, I began an “Obscure Super Famicom Impressions” topic where I posted my two cents on a slew of obscure Super Famicom exclusives. The topic was well received and stirred much retro gaming discourse. 10 years later I revived my topic to post a personal top 50 list. I’m now converting that list over
QUICK NOTES
This isn’t a top 50 *BEST* list. Rather, it’s a top 50 favorite list
There will be no (action) RPGs on this list. As best as I could, I kept this list restricted to games that any non-Japanese reader can enjoy
To qualify for this list, the game can’t have an official American release
All these games have links for their own review if you wish to read more
Everyone knows about the Capcom Mickey games on the Super Nintendo. But did you know there was a non-Capcom Mickey game released only on the Super Famicom? Developed by GRC (who also made Trouble Shooter for the Genesis), Mickey Tokyo Disneyland is worth a look.
Navigate through various sections of the famous Disneyland theme park. Red balloons send Mickey zipping around. Blue balloons can be flicked at enemies or dropped on unsuspecting suckers. It can also be set down as a paperweight or as a jumping boost. The color scheme, the classic Mickey look — it all works. The control is a bit rigid, though. Still, a nice game to play on a lazy rainy day.
Boasting a rich colorful look, Marty McFly uses his trusty hoverboard to thwart the likes of Biff, Griff, rogue cops and other assorted baddies. The classic Back to the Future overture is perfectly replicated. Chill inducing worthy.
The game does have its share of flaws, though. The control takes some getting used to and there’s a bit of slowdown here and there. But there’s just something about this game that I enjoy, warts and all.
Violinist of Hamelin (AKA Hamelin no Violin Hiki) is a puzzle action platformer where you play as Hamel and guide a girl named Flute safely through each level. Picking up Flute and tossing her through pillars of stone is not only encouraged, it’s necessary! Flute can transform into 16 different forms (after the appropriate icon has been collected). Each has its own special purpose and using the right one at the right time is key to success.
Poor Flute gets quite abused!
Her expressions are priceless!
Daft only developed three SNES games — two of which are entries #48 and #49 above. This next game completes Daft’s SNES trilogy. Based off the manga, Nangoku is a platformer that uses a level up system like you would find in an action RPG. There are eight kooky worlds to navigate with all manner of bizarre enemies to kill. There’s even a character that looks an awful lot like Link, hmm.
There’s a slight bit of dialogue in this game (as is the case with Violinist of Hamelin) but it won’t hinder a non-Japanese reading gamer from progressing. However, there’s a fan translation floating out there if you want to get the full experience.
Everything Super Bonk should have been! The sprites are smaller so maneuvering Bonk around is much improved in comparison to his first SNES outing. He can also slide now. Some “new” transformations abound that were not present in Super Bonk such as the thief, who can throw the smiley faces as projectiles. Visuals are colorful and pleasing to the eye.
Published by Nintendo on New Year’s Day 1999, Power Soukoban added an action-oriented modern twist to the classic old Soukoban formula. Not only are there puzzles to solve but you now have to fend off enemies. Your fireballs take out enemies as well as move stones.
There are even bosses! Frankenstein and Medusa to name but two. Power Soukoban is a fun action puzzle game that brings an interesting new twist to a proven formula.
Based off the anime/manga by Takashi Shiina, Ghost Sweeper Mikami reminds me of the countless action platformers we saw on the 8-bit NES back in the day. If you’re into that sort of thing, then definitely give it a look. Packed with atmosphere, it’s slightly goofy yet somewhat spooky. Perfect to play on a cold, stormy night with all the lights turned off.
Evil spirits, zombies and all assorted manner of monsters have popped up all over town. Armed with her trusty magical baton and athletic agility, it’s up to Mikami to sweep the streets and clear out the demons and demented. Just a good old fashioned fun solid action game akin to the kind we saw in the late ’80s to early ’90s.
You might remember Hammerin’ Harry from the arcade scene of the early ’90s. Running around in pseudo-Super Deformed form crushing everything in sight with a big ol’ mallet? Sign me up!
It’s also Japanese bonkers. From fighting a man dressed in a cat suit to knocking the hell out of octogenarians, Ganbare Daiku no Gensan promises a wacky experience that is certainly enjoyable while it lasts.
At a cursory glance, Super Tekkyu Fight! appears to be a Bomberman clone. But it’s actually quite different. For starters, players can take up to eight hits. Instead of bombing the competition, you attack them with a spiky chained ball.
It’s no Super Bomberman but Super Tekkyu Fight! is certainly a solid alternative when you’re in the mood for something in the Bomberman vein but with a twist.
Developed by HUMAN, best known for their Fire Pro Wrestling franchise, The Firemen is like Die Hard if you replace the terrorists with fire and the firearms with a water hose. It’s winter 2010 in New York and a high rise is burning. It’s up to you to rescue the victims and clean up the mess. Shoot in eight directions as well as strafe and lock.
Based off the manga by Akira Toriyama, Go Go Ackman is a traditional action platformer starring a very non-traditional anti-hero. And therein lies the charm. Fend off enemies by way of swordplay, boomerang and even some gun slinging. The game is short and not very challenging, but damn is it fun.
Besides, it’s pretty hilarious shooting cute little angels right between the eyes. God bless Japan, you crazy bastards you.
Battle Cross is a six player single screen racer. At first glance it appears to be a mix of Mario Kart and Bomberman. It doesn’t have the smooth and excellent gameplay of either but it’s a riot to play with four friends.
Weapons are strewn about the courses. Nothing satisfies like tossing a missile at someone or dropping a mine underneath an overpass that conceals the explosive. Fun for a retro gaming party night.
Single screen action puzzle games have always been a pet favorite of mine. They’re so simple yet complex. In Little Magic you control a young witch-in-training named May. The goal is to transport the fire stone to the pedestal of each level as well as guide May to the exit gate.
Things start out basic but progressively increases in complexity and difficulty. Later levels introduce warp points, spikes, gaping holes and even enemies. With 100 levels in all, you won’t beat this overnight. If you enjoy staring contemplatively at the screen until inspiration breaks through with the resolute “AH-HA!” then Little Magic is right up your alley.
Full of explosive mayhem that would make even Arnold proud, Rendering Ranger: R2 is an action-packed game that switches between Turrican-esque run ‘n gun stages and a horizontal space shooter. There are several different guns and each one can be powered up.
You also get three bombs to use. The bombs regenerate slowly through an energy bar at the bottom, meaning you can use one early on and gain it back by mid level or so. Speaking of the bombs, they’re not generic as they were in Contra III. Each gun actually has its own unique bomb. Good stuff.
Poko Nyan! is a platformer based off the 170 episode anime show that ran from 1993-1996. This game is clearly geared toward kids with its super colorful visuals and extremely easy gameplay. It’s got a charming protagonist that can transform into various other critters at any time. This includes a kangaroo that can jump super high, a bird with unlimited flight and a hedgehog that can do a spin attack (hmmm). It’s a perfect game for kids or anyone who is still, deep down, a kid at heart.
The set pieces are gorgeously drawn and usually have many tiers. You can kill enemies by simply dropping off a ledge and bouncing off their heads. This is deceptively satisfying. There’s something innately charming, whimsical and innocent about Poko Nyan! that takes me right back to my early childhood years.
More than just a cheap cash cow attempt, Super Bomberman Panic Bomber World is an admirable foray into the puzzle genre. Connect three or more like color pieces horizontally, vertically or diagonally. In addition, you get unlit and lit bombs because Bomberman. Once you fill up your power bar you get a mega bomb that will cause all kinds of havoc. The chain combos you can pull off are pretty insane!
And of course, being a Bomberman title, there’s even a 4 player mode. The classic Bomberman battle tune is even replicated nicely here and fits the urgency of the falling piece action to a tee.
Keeper is a puzzle action game jam packed with charm and a healthy dose of brain-bending conundrums. Players control an adorable Gizmo-like creature. Your goal is to clear the 5×5 grid of all the stones. Match three or more stones by same color or same shape. There are four modes of play including a fun co-op and 2 player versus mode.
This game is based off Rascal the Raccoon, which was a Japanese anime series based on the 1963 Sterling North autobiographical novel entitled “Rascal, A Memoir of a Better Era.” What other SNES game can claim it was based off a 1963 classic American memoir?
Araiguma Rascal puts a unique spin on your typical falling piece puzzler. As Rascal you grab one jar at a time and maneuver your way through the field. There are three different 2 player modes to boot. The graphics really invoke the spirit of Wisconsin (the setting of the memoir). There’s a vintage feel to the visuals. It all adds up to one extremely adorable and appealing package.
Unlike the other games on this list so far, BS Shockman, or BS Kaizou Choujin Shubibinman Zero, was never officially released on cartridge. Slated for a Super Famicom release back in 1994, it was instead relegated to the Satellaview device (a downloading service in Japan in the ’90s). Players can combine to unleash super special tag team attacks in the 2 player mode. Raita and Azuki also have their own special moves.
Featuring only eight stages, the game is short at 45 minutes or so. It’s also quite easy. Other than those blemishes, it’s a very fun game that feels like a mix between a traditional platformer and a beat ‘em up.
The SNES isn’t known for having very many dark and mature titles in its library. However, Majyuuou (AKA King of Demons) definitely qualifies as such. At first glance it appears to be a cross between Castlevania and Resident Evil. While it doesn’t live up to such an enticing combination, it is a rather fun and sordid romp through hell. The imagery is unlike anything else you’ll find on the SNES.
You start out in human form armed with a gun and a giant Hadoken-like blast. At the end of each level an orb allows you to transform into a savage beast. There are four forms in all. Abel’s sprite is a little small but the game features a good amount of details to compensate. It does an excellent job of sucking you into its decaying and decrepit underworld. A fascinating foray through the depths of hell.
Weirdest Super Famicom game ever? Think Pocky & Rocky on acid. A strange alien force looks to cast its iron fist over the entire universe and two brave but bumbling souls set out to save the day. Their names are Baka-dono and Baka-ouji, which translate to Lord Stupid and Prince Stupid. You can’t make this stuff up. This globe trotting adventure features 10 stages in all. Battle rotting zombies in a cursed Japanese village one minute and the next contend with crazy curry plate chucking madmen in India.
EVERYTHING EXPLODES. Elephants? They explode. Stray chickens? They explode. Japanese shoji screens? Yep, even inanimate objects explode. It’s way over the top and all done with its tongue firmly planted in its cheek with a wink to boot. You can also morph into your deceased steroid-injected father. ‘Nuff said, really!
This is the best Super Famicom beat ‘em up to never leave Japan. Sure it’s got many of the beat ‘em up tropes. Three characters to pick from. One well-balanced, one strong and one weak but quick. Charging fat bald guys. But a few neat things help it stand out. This includes blocking, special tag team moves and a meter for your special moves that’s separate from your health meter.
Ghost Chaser Densei is a top notch beat ‘em up that takes one back to the halcyon days when beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade scene.
The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse brings back a lot of fond memories for many of us. Capcom’s sequel The Great Circus Mystery was solid but somehow missed that magical “it” factor that the original had in spades. In December 1995 Capcom released the final game in the trilogy and returned to form.
It was Minnie Mouse out and Donald Duck in. The classic costume system returns but this time the suit powers differ for Mickey and Donald, making it worthwhile to sample both characters. Of course, that classic refined Mickey gameplay you’ve come to love returns (including the lovely snatch-a-block-out-of-thin-air-and-heave-it-at-the-bad-guys formula). Some of the animations, particularly from Donald, are simply priceless.
If Zelda were ever made into a platformer, it would probably look something like this. You attack enemies with a short ranged sword but can gain powers as you go along. Stars are scattered throughout the game’s six stages. Collect as many as you can to increase your sub weapon’s ammunition, similar to Castlevania.
Unfortunately there is no password or save system. But thankfully there is a handy cheat code that unlocks a debug menu. Pause the game and press Up, Down, X, Y, Left, Right, A, B, Up, Up. This allows you to tweak with things such as lives, hearts, a God mode and even a level select option. Magical Pop’n is a damn fine game.
Its main strength is versatility. Pick from three different characters. The game is ridiculously versatile as evident by the SEVEN different ways to kill a bad guy. This not only separates it from the me-too crowd of SNES platformers, but it also minimizes repetitiveness while playing it.
Two 2 player modes are also at play — a co-op and battle mode. Rainbow Bell Adventures is easily one of Konami’s more underrated 16-bit gems.
Heisei Inu Monogatari Bow: Pop’n Smash, to give it its full proper name, is a game you rarely ever hear about. And that’s a shame. Imagine a mix between Pong and Breakout, then add in typical Japanese wackiness and shenanigans. Pop’n Smash is centered around canine Bow. “Bow Wow” was a Japanese manga created by Terry Yamamoto. It enjoyed a lengthy run from 1992 to 1999. There was also a 40 episode anime series that ran from 1993-1994.
The objective is to bat the ball into your opponent’s goal zone. Along the way there are obstacles such as breakable blocks, pots and even bombs to add a little extra spice. Choose from several different characters and stages. Players can make dramatic diving saves as well as cross over into the opponent’s playing area. Select different tools to hit the ball that range from a tennis racket to a mallet to even a branch. It’s one of those games that anyone can pick up and enjoy. Pop’n Smash is a smashing good time!
Sanrio Smash is similar to the previous game, Pop’n Smash, but it plays slightly better. Choose from four Sanrio characters and 20 different stages. It’s cutthroat and competitive as can be. There are power-ups to sway the tide of battle one way or the other. There’s also a super shot that players can unleash once they’ve charged their meter.
Sanrio World Smash Ball! is a smash. Sorry. It’s a ball. Damnit. Look, it’s pretty dang good, OK? So get it if you can, or something.
Spark World is a fun Bomberman clone. Each player is able to sustain two hits — this makes for lengthier battles and gets rid of the embarrassing “Oops I accidentally killed myself 10 seconds in!” moment.
Some slight twists abound. The boxing glove power-up icon allows you to punch your OPPONENT rather than the fuel barrel (bomb). When a round concludes, a stats screen shows you who killed whom. This can lead to some temporary 3-on-1 allegiances when one player killed everyone else the previous round. Good times.
Did you know there was a Super Bomberman 3, 4 and 5 for the SNES? They came out only in Japan (part 3 also came out in Europe). These sequels are perhaps most notable for adding a fifth bomber to the mix but they also feature a whole new slew of bombs and gimmicks.
The mad bomber option in part 5 takes on brand new stakes. If you kill someone as a mad bomber you get to switch places. It brings a whole new intensity to mad bombing! There’s also a hidden bomber to unlock, the Golden Bomber.
Other than Tetris, I consider Puyo Puyo the most classic, pure puzzle game. It’s where skills reign supreme and luck doesn’t play as big a role as it does in most other puzzle games. You know the formula: connect four or more like color pieces. Send garbage blocks over. Yup, there’s a reason why there’s a new Puyo Puyo Tetris mashup coming out soon for the Nintendo Switch!
4 player mode rocks.
Eat your heart out, Kirby’s Avalanche.
Best described as Super Mario Kart meets a cast of Chuck E. Cheese’s rejects. If you were sad back in the mid ’90s that there was never a Super Mario Kart 2 on the SNES, then well, SD F-1 Grand Prix certainly won’t fill that void but it stands as a solid alternative and an adequate companion piece to Super Mario Kart. Choose from 10 different cutesy animal drivers to compete all around the world in a variety of interesting and cool looking race tracks.
You have your standard 10 player Grand Prix mode but the Crash Mode features power-ups such as projectiles. And as expected, there’s a 2 player mode where you can select one of four battle courses to duke it out. As far as Mario Kart alternatives on the SNES go, this is the cream of the crop.
Culture Brain’s Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 developed a semi-cult following among SNES players in the early ’90s. Did you know Culture Brain went on to release four Super Famicom exclusive sequels? My favorite of which is the second one, which features cute chibi ball players.
The crazy power-ups that made the first game so unique and fun are back. The charming visuals are reminiscent of EarthBound, perfectly matching the game’s wackiness and absurdity. So if throwing lightning-infused fastballs is your thing, grab a mitt and PLAY BALL!
Dossun! Ganseki Battle is a Columns-esque puzzler that feels like a precursor to Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Pieces disappear when three or more like pieces touch. Connections are formed either vertically, horizontally or diagonally. Characters attack each other when chain combos are dealt. Their sprites enlarge as they attack — it really gets you into the fighting spirit!
There are two ways to win a match. The player’s screen fills up or their health meter is fully depleted. To make things even more interesting, the five different types of pieces each serve a different purpose when matched. Competitive and cutthroat, Dossun! Ganseki Battle is Columns meets Puzzle Fighter with a medieval theme. A winning formula for sure!
Capcom released this on April 24, 1998, for those who couldn’t afford a 32-bit system. Pick between the Blue Bomber and relative newcomer, Forte (AKA Bass), who made his debut in 1995’s Mega Man 7. Forte can double jump, dash and shoot in all directions (except straight down). Other improvements include stunning visuals (it almost looks like an early 32-bit title) and a proper save system is now in play. About friggin’ time, Capcom!
Notoriously considered one of the toughest Mega Man games around, there are sadly no E Tanks here. However, you collect bolts throughout and can purchase upgrades and power-ups at Auto’s shop. In addition to bolts, you’ll also find CD’s strewn about the stages. Collect up to 100 to view character bios. Rockman & Forte has divided the fanbase but for my money it stands as a fine Super Nintendo swan song for Capcom.
Move a cute little blob thing around the screen and clear the field of all its blocks. Blocks disappear when three or more of the same color touch. You can only push. Pushed blocks travel until coming into contact with another block or obstacle. Things start out simple but later puzzles get downright brutal. The timer adds a sense of urgency. It’s quite the rush completing a puzzle just in the nick of time!
The main story mode also allows three friends to join you. But the best thing is the 4 player battle mode. There are 10 battle arenas to pick from and most of them are littered with various gimmicks that would make any Bomberman title proud. Pushing a block across the screen to crush a loved one never felt so damn good. Puzzle’N Desu! is one of the best party games you’ve probably yet to play. Charming and addicting as hell!
The NES classic Legend of Zelda gets a remake of sorts on the SNES. It was available on March 30, 1997 in Japan via the Satellaview only. Of course, since then there’s been hacks and fan translations. SNES players can now experience BS Zelda in all its glory. An awesome take on the NES classic but with spiffy 16-bit souped up visuals. You can even now switch items and weapons by using the shoulder buttons!
The closest thing to Bionic Commando on the SNES? Umihara Kawase. You control a school girl who wears a pink backpack. For reasons unknown you find yourself in a strange world full of towering platforms, ledges and mutant marine life. Somewhere in each level lies the exit and it’s your job to safely reach it. You do this by performing various tricks with your elastic rope. Delightfully weird in that ever lovable Japanese sort of way, Umihara Kawase is a total blast to play. Much of the fun comes in figuring out how best to utilize the rope in any given situation. Using momentum and understanding the rope’s physics all come into masterful play.
At first glance it appears to be a budget title, but don’t let its basic looks fool you. What lies underneath is a complex game that hooks and reels you in (sorry). It’s always fun to see what the next twisted level will look like, as well as what new sea creatures may be milling about. Figuring out how to reach the exit is addicting. The music and sound effects fit the game to a tee; it does a good job transporting you to this bizarre alternate universe. A dimension where sea creatures are mutated, veggies are overgrown and magic stand alone doors are tucked away at the oddest heights and places. The game world is so strangely captivating — it’s like you’re deep in some twisted recurring nightmare. A nightmare, mind, that plays like an absolute dream.
Clock Tower was a cult favorite among PlayStation owners in the late ’90s. But did you know Clock Tower and Scissorman originated on the Super Famicom? A point and click horror adventure, players are flung into a creepy mansion on the outskirts of town. Something is clearly not right as your party drops one by one. You feel a haunting presence stalking your every move. The hair on the back of your neck stands up as you hear the snip-snip-SNIPof the one and only…
Like a good slow burn, Clock Tower works on building up the tension with little teases here and there. It’s not a loud in your face affair, so it may be a little too slow paced for some. But for the patient player who appreciates a good story being built brick by brick, Clock Tower delivers the scary goods. You never know for sure where Scissorman may pop up, but when he does, it’s ON. The heartbeat races a little faster and palms start to sweat as you run madly to find a hiding spot somewhere in the creepy mansion. It’s the perfect game to play on a stormy night!
The classic gameplay of Super Soukoban is as simple (yet complex) and pure as it gets. You’re in a cluttered warehouse and it’s your job to move boxes into their designated position. There is no timer; however, there is a step limit. By pressing the shoulder buttons you can rewind or fast forward previous steps. So if you mess up you don’t have to restart the level completely. Knowing that you can always backtrack and erase any error is such a boon. The early levels start out very basic but soon give way to some mind tingling terrors. Seeing levels transition from large sprites to very small sprites can be intimidating!
Later on there are even boxes already darkened, which indicates the box is already resting on a purple dot. You can still move these darkened boxes in many cases, but you have to figure out if you’re meant to or not. There are 300 levels in all and rumor has it launch day buyers are still stuck on level 289 to this very day. To boot, there’s a level edit option and a 2 player mode with 10 different characters to select from.
Taking control of a strange transparent bird, the goal is to collect the rainbow orb(s) on each level. To do so, one must “suck and blow.” Yes, you’ll suck and blow. A lot. [Insert token dirty joke here]. The colors all serve a specific purpose — click on the review if you want the rundown.
Developed and released by Nintendo on June 25, 1999, Sutte Hakkun is the LASTgreat SNES game ever. Don’t miss out on it. Being from Nintendo you know it’s good.
Human’s great Fire Pro series began its life on the PC-Engine in 1989. Their final Super Famicom Fire Pro game, Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium, is considered by many as the greatest 16-bit wrestling game of all time. It was revolutionary for its time thanks to its Create A Wrestler mode. You could create and save up to 80 wrestlers. The amount of moves and body types available were equally mind blowing.
The grapple system was based on timing rather than button mashing, so players had to work their way up the move chain. Light, medium and strong attack buttons allow for a natural progression. Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium has long since been surpassed by superior sequels. Still, 20 years later it stands the test of time. Besides, it’s pretty cool rocking out on your Super Nintendo as Bobo Brazil.
Whether he was terrorizing trains and ravaging cities, or pummeling rubber suited monsters and saving the planet, Godzilla has a special spot in the hearts of many. Having endured 60+ years and 30+ films and counting, the Big Guy is simply timeless. So growing up you can imagine the clamor for a good Godzilla video game. NES Godzilla wasn’t particularly good. Let’s not even talk about Godzilla 2. Super Godzilla? One of the all time great disappointments. Thankfully, Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen brings justice and a good Godzilla game to the universe.
No, you won’t find smooth crazy combos here but considering the source material (these are giant monsters after all) it’s hard to hold that against the game. Monster roars sound authentic, the sprite work is impeccable, the stages are plucked right out of the movies and the monsters are very accurate in terms of their powers. Of course some things were added or re-imagined. Godzilla never shot his atomic breath in mid-air in the films, but it certainly makes for good times in this game. The fighting engine is nothing remarkable but it gets the job done. Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen is a treat for any true G-Fan.
It plays enough like Bomberman to provide a comforting familiarity, yet has enough quirks to differentiate it. Dropped spiked capsules explode after two seconds, sending shurikens flying north, south, east and west. Unlike the explosions in Bomberman, the shurikens won’t kill you. Instead you become stunned for two seconds if you’re hit, leaving you wide open for an opponent’s chain ball to kill you. The chain stretches the full length so it’s possible to sit back waiting for the opportune moment to strike! Send your chain twisting some 20 feet away to pick someone off. Not only is it super satisfying but it adds a devious, vulture-like aspect that doesn’t quite exist as much in Bomberman.
Needless to say, such shenanigans lead to many “Ooh I’ll get you next round!” battle cries and pandemonium. Nothing beats the rush of recovering JUST in time right before the chain ball hits you! The eight various colosseums each have a gimmick. Otoboke Ninja Colosseum is awesome, especially if you can round up three friends to play with. And you have to appreciate any game that features mini Super Famicom icons!
Featuring insanely amazing visuals, haunting sound and ultra smooth gameplay, DoReMi Fantasy is one of the finest SNES platformers you could ever play. Milon from Milon’s Secret Castle (NES) is back and better than ever. There are eight themed worlds ranging from the gorgeous Northern Lights to a madcap toy infested universe. The levels are packed to the gills with exquisite detail, quirky enemies, excellent backdrops and some stellar set pieces. The game occasionally foregoes music for ambient sound effects instead. This leads to an atmosphere that is both surreal and bewitching.
Milon’s silly antics and whimsical adventure is sure to sweep you away to a land of awe and wonder. DoReMi Fantasy is one of the best SNES platformers not named Mario.
The Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling series was Natsume’s response to Human’s Fire Pro franchise. It features bigger, brighter visuals and a quasi-chibi presentation. The ring is viewed dead on as opposed to Fire Pro’s ¾ perspective. This makes for a perfect running system which allows you to lay back and pick your spots with running strikes, leading to some riotous Fatal Fourway matches! Budokan has a subtle barbaric sense of black humor. Look no further than being able to bounce opponents viciously off the cable ropes (OUCH) or attacking your rival even after the conclusion of a match. Hell it even features the infamous Flair flop!
Similar to the Fire Pro games, winning a grapple is based on timing rather than button mashing. The 19 wrestlers are actual wrestlers from All Japan Pro Wrestling. You got your high flyers, technicians and bruisers. Giant Baba, Kobashi, Misawa, Stan Hansen and so on. Fun stuff!
Konami developed many great games for the SNES back in the ’90s, but perhaps its best kept secret was Tsuyoshi Shikkari Shinasai Taisen Puzzle-dama. It plays like an early beta version of Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Select from 10 characters, each with their own block patterns. The combos can get rather insane. It’s not uncommon to pull off 6-7 hit combos even “on accident.”
Maybe it’s not for everyone, especially those used to the pure skill of a Puyo Puyo, but seeing the screen explode in a relentless 10 hit chain reaction combo never gets old. Arguably Konami’s best SNES game that nobody ever talks about.
Released on Christmas Eve of 1993, Tetris Battle Gaiden is the best Super Famicom puzzle game never to hit North American shores. It’s Tetris with a quirky twist. Choose from eight characters. Each has four different skills and abilities. These skills are activated when you acquire points and decide to cash in. To acquire said points, you must clear a line containing a crystal. Each cleared crystal grants you one point, and up to four can be stored. The skills and powers range from defensive measures to offensive attacks.
Another interesting feature: players share pieces from one queue rather than two. That means you can “steal” a piece your opponent may desperately need if you move fast (or in some cases slow) enough. This makes paying attention several moves in advance all the more critical. Few things are as satisfying as “blockblocking” your opponent. To snatch that long tetris piece right before they can is a true thing of beauty. Well, maybe that’s second only to sabotaging the competition with one of your special attacks!
Not content to stop there, two other modes are available: classic Tetris (for the purists out there who prefer their Tetris sans gimmick) and Rensa. Rensa is where gravity is taken into account and pieces fall if suspended in mid-air (except crystal pieces). This can produce some nice chain reactions. These three modes make it feel like three games in one. An amazing game bursting with insane replay value!
In October of 1994 EGM ran a preview on a Super Famicom street ball title by the name of Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. The funky title immediately caught my eye as did the game pictures (blurry as they were… God were things different back in 1994). I remember thinking I couldn’t wait to play it as soon as it comes out over here. But of course it never did. Years later, 2006 to be precise, I was on the hunt for all my old favorite games, as well as the ones I never got to play but always wanted to. One evening my mind recalled Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. The rest is history.
Always been a sucker for stats and ratings, and the power bars in this game remind me a ton of the ones from Marvel’s 1991 trading card series. Good memories of a bygone era. It’s a small thing but it just takes me to a happy place!
Sure it’s got your standard 5 on 5 mode, but what really drew me to the EGM preview was the blurry screenshot of a 3 on 3 street ball mode. I was always fascinated by the idea of a 3 on 3 street basketball game. This game didn’t disappoint. While it’s got its fair share of flaws, it’s simply a lot of fun. I’ve never played a basketball game where making a shot was so predicated on timing. Being that it’s from Human, go figure, right?
The 3 on 3 mode is where it’s at. In this mode you can play on two different courts, but Human even threw in some little tricks. On one court if you enter SUNSET or YONAKA (Japanese for midnight) then you can unlock exactly that. There’s a simple yet elegant gorgeousness to these settings that speak to my soul in ways I cannot explain. Maybe it’s because it brings back memories of playing ball with my buddies late at midnight, or even getting up early in the morning playing ball right as the sun breaks over the horizon. Those old school memories wrapped up in this old soul… it touches a sweet spot and takes me back to the days when my friends and I were balling without a single care in the world.
But Human didn’t stop there. At the versus screen if you press on the D-pad it will change the color of the courts. Also, you can pick from four different basketball colors. It’s just cosmetics but these little touches add up. Yeah, call me crazy but we all have that one game that clicks deep in our soul for one reason or another that won’t click with the masses. It’s our special game. Our spirit animal in video game form, if you will.
It’s been 10 years since I bought Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop and I still find myself playing it frequently. Did so again recently in honor of Craig Sager’s passing. This game just never gets old for me. And that’s why this completely unexpected “bracket buster” (har har) ranks #3 in my personal book.
We always hear about how great Super Tennis is and how it’s the best tennis title on the Super Nintendo. Super Family Tennis doesn’t get much props. I think it’s even better than Super Tennis. The control is smooth as hell, there’s a four player option and some of the court designs are completely bonkers, filled with amusing gimmicks and sight gags.
Look no further than knocking the ball into a tranquil pond in front of a Japanese Shinto shrine (complete with a traditional Torii gate). Or smashing the ball so hard against a coconut tree that it drops a coconut on a bystander’s head, completely taking the poor sap out. It’s these quirky details that I always enjoy seeing in a video game. It doesn’t make a game but it certainly leaves you with a positive lasting impression.
The best thing about Super Family Tennis is how fun it is. A total blast with four players, it’s something that your friends or significant other can easily pick up and play with you, even if video games typically aren’t “their thing.” There are 20 characters to choose from, all with varying skills and abilities.
Music is largely absent. Instead, it relies on ambient sound effects. And it works. From the soothing crashing waves of the ocean to the echo chamber sounds of the mountain stage, there is sort of a surreal feel to this game that wouldn’t be the same had there been music.
Its wacky sense of humor, outrageous court designs, smooth control, 20 different characters and surreal sound makes Super Family Tennis a definite smash hit for the whole family.
I have been curious about this game ever since I saw EGM preview it back in 1994. In 2006 I got back into the SNES scene and went hunting for a copy. Much to my chagrin the game was cancelled and never released on a physical cartridge. Alas, it did come out via the Satellaview Broadcast device. And thanks to the modern wonders of technology, it’s possible to experience this fine gem on a real TV. Ah, technology.
So what makes BS Out of Bounds Golf so awesome? It allows up to four players to compete and you have the ability to knock your opponent’s ball out of bounds (hence the name of the game). Of course, knocking their ball out of bounds will cost them precious stroke points. Or even just blocking their path is wicked fun. The battles get competitive and cutthroat like you wouldn’t believe. Also, because one player plays at a time, it’s a more methodical multiplayer experience. I find it works refreshingly well. There’s a ton of strategy, scouting and sabotaging involved here. It’s Schadenfreude at its finest (or worst…)
Select from three different modes.
Then choose from 12 characters, including two felines. Right away that tells you the developer (NCS, who also made Cybernator) didn’t take themselves too seriously. Keep in mind back in the mid ’90s golf games tended to be a little dull. This game, however, was packed with personality and charm.
After selecting your character you get to pick your theme. There are six themed worlds in all, with each having 8 courses. That makes 48 total courses. They range from a beach setting to even outer space. My personal favorite has to be the second world. Here you are mysteriously shrunken down to size and have to work around everyday objects such as coffee mugs, ink spills, giant cereal boxes, tomatoes and more. It’s absolutely bonkers…
What makes this game so much fun is the amount of options you have. Just look at the process of hitting the ball. First, you get to select from a power meter ranging from 1 to 100. This becomes oddly compelling in its own right. It almost becomes like a game within a game. For instance, do you use 47 or 52? 77 or 79? 91 or 94? Sometimes one point off can prove to be the difference between glorious victory and crushing defeat. It’s a thrill to see your ball barely make its way into the hole. On the flip side, nothing is more embarrassing than misjudging the power meter by one point and seeing your ball stop a mere centimeter shy of the goal!
After selecting your power, you then get to choose from one of 17 (!) different strike points on the ball. Much like pool, these strike points will determine the trajectory of your shot. While you’ll be using the dead center shot most of the time, there are times where using the trajectory shots skillfully is essential to winning. Like I said, it’s kind of like a game within a game. You’re not only battling three rivals… you’re battling yourself as well. And it works like gangbusters!
Dead center shot
There are even weather effects and power-ups. There are at least 11 ranging from controlling your ball after hitting it to randomly switching all the balls in play. That means you can possibly swap places with a rival who is near the cup and send them way back to the beginning of a course! Sabotage never felt so sweet.
Curving right shot
Also, each of the 48 courses have four randomly generated cup destinations. This prevents you from mastering a course simply by memorizing a certain playbook. It speaks to the game’s brilliance that there are nearly 200 possible scenarios. Add in the 17 strike points, the power meter, the wind factor, the power-ups and you get a game that feels slightly different each time you play it.
Curving left shot
BS Out of Bounds Golf is a total riot with three friends. Expect a lot of cursing, laughing, cheering and taunting. It brings out the best and worst in people — it’s amusing to see individual personalities come out in their truest forms. There’s no other game quite like this on the SNES. And that’s why this is my favorite obscure Super Famicom game of all time.
TRICK SHOT CITY!*MIC DROP*
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Bowing to the greatness of the vast SNES library
There are a lot of good games that didn’t quite make this list, like the Parodius games. You probably didn’t agree with all of my choices but I hope this list was helpful in some way. If you found even just one new game to love from this list, then I’m happy. And remember, I purposely excluded all the awesome Super Famicom only (action) RPGs! The library is amazingly diverse and deep. Some of these games I listed are fairly well known in SNES circles, but I feel there’s still a good bunch of them that remains rather obscure. I hope this Top 50 list serves as a good resource for you and that it helps you to unearth a few new favorites. Until next time, happy gaming!
It’s January 7, 2017. RVGFanatic launched on January 7, 2007. Wow, where has the time gone? I celebrate 10 years today. 10 years later my Super Nintendo passion still burns as brightly as it did a decade ago when I first started RVGFanatic. What was the world like 10 years ago?
YouTube was still in its infancy
George W. Bush was US president
Steve Jobs announced the first iPhone
To celebrate this milestone, I figure it’s a good time to finally reveal my Super Nintendo collection in-depth. Most of my 400+ boxed SNES games were acquired from 2006-2008. I was lucky the nostalgia bug bit me several years before it did many others. It’s the only reason I have been fortunate enough to amass the collection that I did.
Each shelf will have certain games highlighted by these categories:
Best Game — What I consider to be the best game on that shelf.
Worst Game — What I consider as the worst game on that shelf.
Guilty Pleasures — Games that I enjoy but aren’t necessarily good.
Unsung Heroes — Overlooked games that I find to be high quality.
Most Disappointing — Games I thought I would like a lot but don’t.
Most Surprising — Games I didn’t expect much from but delivered.
Most Wanted — Games I’ve still yet to play but most excited to play.
Miscellaneous — Random notes on other games not yet highlighted.
ActRaiser is an excellent first generation SNES game that alternates between side scrolling platforming action and build-a-city simulation. The two parts mesh well together like a perfectly constructed puzzle.
Speaking of alternating, Axelay does that masterfully as well, switching level to level between horizontal and vertical shooting nirvana.
WORST GAME AAAHH!!! Real Monsters DISHONORABLE MENTION Adventures of Mighty Max
Incredibly tedious and annoying.
Mighty Max was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. The game? No.
GUILTY PLEASURE An American Tale: Fievel Goes West
Nothing fancy here. Just simple, basic platforming with decent visuals.
Aladdin is often overshadowed by its Genesis counterpart but I love the brilliant animation and colors of the SNES edition. That and its dramatic hanging-on-a-ledge-by-the-tip-of-your-finger gameplay was so satisfying.
Alien³ is a solid movie licensed game in an era where many of these games weren’t very good. Try playing it with all the lights turned off…
Arkanoid: Doh It Again! is an underrated 2 player gem. It’s so simple that even non gamers can jump in and have a blast. Highly recommended!
One of the most atmospheric games on the SNES, Blackthorne proves there’s nothing like blasting goblins and trolls in a desolate mine with a sawed off shotgun. You can even “accidentally” kill innocent prisoners
The box of 3 Ninjas Kick Back alone commands $500+. The game itself surprised me as being a decent (2 player) action platformer with three different characters to choose from. Surprisingly competent!
MOST WANTED Adventures of Batman and Robin
The GameFan previews back in the day made it look BEAST.
MISCELLANEOUS
The most unique game here, The Adventures of Hourai High, was never officially released in America. It’s a fan translation of a Super Famicom RPG import that captures the spirit of EarthBound. I bought it from Time Walk just mere weeks before they folded.
Adventures of Kid Kleets isn’t half bad. It stands out a bit from the other me-too SNES platformers on account of having to kick a soccer ball at bad guys in order to subdue them. The ball physics made it a quirky, interesting experience.
Aero Fighters is a quality 2 player shooter.
Konami developed many classic SNES games in the ’90s. Animaniacs wasn’t one of them, and probably stands as Konami’s weakest SNES effort.
Ardy Lightfoot is a curious oddity for me in that part of me wanted to put it in the unsung hero class, but there’s another part of me that considered it for most disappointing. Worthwhile, but it’s not great like I had hoped.
Battletoads & Double Dragon wasn’t as good as I hoped, but it gave me some fond memories. One of the earliest crossovers I can remember, it was a huge deal in my gaming circle back in ’93!
Ah, the memories…
Biker Mice From Mars is a nice Rock ‘N Roll Racing clone.
The Blues Brothers may look like a typical platformer on the surface but it’s not without some neat tricks. For example, you can carry and throw one another in the 2 player co-op mode. Oddly enjoyable for what it is…
The Combatribes was the second import game I ever rented back in late 1992. My brother and I loved beating up Martha Splatterhead and her delinquent gangs, all in the name of saving the Big Apple.
I went through all 40+ levels of B.O.B. in the summer of 2007 and had an absolute blast. If someone turned Doom into a 2D side scrolling action platformer, it might be this. Someone once called it “retarded Metroid”
Brawl Brothers has always been a bit underrated in my book. It’s a big improvement over its predecessor, Rival Turf. My brother and I had a lot of fun with it back in the day. Doesn’t really get the props that it should.
There are better versions of Bust-A-Move out there, but that doesn’t take away from the first game still being a competitive 2 player barn burner!
Captain Commando was a late port job — it came out in the arcades in 1991 but didn’t make it over to the SNES until August 1995. It was odd to see that large a gap, but I’m glad Capcom did it. Captain Commando is far from perfect but something I’ve enjoyed revisiting over the years.
I went into Brandish with low expectations in 2006. I ended up loving the atmosphere, music and a more cerebral style of play. The underground labyrinths are crawling with monsters galore, from T-Rex to Death itself!
Breath of Fire II kicks everything up a notch. My copy is a retranslation repro. The US translation of BoF II was sloppy. The repro fixes that
Capcom’s MVP Football was a fumble but Capcom’s Soccer Shootout scored a goal. Developed by A-Max, Capcom once again slapped their name in the title. And you thought Tecmo was vain!
ClayMates is a worthwhile platformer. You shape shift into various animals with varying skills. The level designs are based around certain skills so you had to make the appropriate switch to progress.
Congo’s Caper is a fun platformer.
Cool Spot, based upon the 7 UP mascot, is better than it had any business being. It earned mostly positive reviews back in the day for a reason!
SHELF THREE
I like how this shelf ends with the Final Fantasy trilogy. Always nice when the end of a shelf concludes with the last game in a particular series.
These two epic games made 1994 Super Nintendo’s year.
A shining example of greatness
WORST GAME D-Force DISHONORABLE MENTION Doomsday Warrior
Things start out kind of OK. But then the scrolling gets choppy and there’s some slowdown. Not to mention the atrocious sound. Not a completely worthless game, but it does put the “D” in D-Force.
Doomsday Warrior tried really hard at least. There may even be some merit to be found but it’s pretty underwhelming even by 1992 standards.
GUILTY PLEASURES Dirt Trax FX Double Dragon V
Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest
My brother and I played the hell out of the rag tag mode in Dirt Trax FX. It wasn’t the greatest game around but damn did we enjoy it.
Double Dragon V often gets crapped on, but I don’t think it’s THAT bad. Not the Double Dragon sequel we hoped for, but it’s not unplayable.
Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest has a negative reputation, but as a starter kit RPG it’s really not that bad. Plus the music absolutely kicks ass.
A ghoulish atmosphere, detailed visuals and a slick Super Metroid-esque style of play makes Demon’s Crest one sublime adventure.
Colorful visuals in some highly bizarre worlds with masterful sound by the one and only Tim Follin make Equinox worth checking out. A “save-almost-anywhere-you-go” system helps keep the difficulty in check as well as encourage repeated attempts to finally snag that elusive key.
Fatal Fury 2 certainly redeemed Takara in my eyes. Fatal Fury on the SNES was the absolute pits. But this one hit the mark with much better control, gameplay and even an option that lets you play as the bosses.
Some would say Final Fantasy II gets plenty of love. But there are times where it seems to get lost in the shuffle especially when people are quick to bring up the “big three” of Chrono Trigger, EarthBound and Final Fantasy III. Don’t forsake this amazing early RPG!
MOST DISAPPOINTING Fatal Fury Special
Whereas Fatal Fury 2 excelled in smooth control, Fatal Fury Special did not. It’s a shame because otherwise it holds up fine for a 32-MEG port.
Many view Donkey Kong Country 2 as the best DKC game.
Donkey Kong Country 3 is sometimes overlooked because it came out late in the SNES’ lifespan (November 1996) and wasn’t quite as epic as the first two DKC games. It’s still very, very good in its own right though.
My copy of Gunman’s Proof comes courtesy of Time Walk just mere weeks before they closed their doors. Gunman’s Proof is criminally underrated. Think a combination of Zelda, EarthBound and the wild west. It’s a Zelda clone with guns and bazookas! ‘Nuff said, really.
A spiritual sequel to Soul Blazer (which some fans prefer), I love the improved visuals and shape shifting shenanigans of Illusion of Gaia.
Not your typical SNES game filled with bright and bold colors, First Samurai is something of a quirky guilty pleasure for me. I kind of like the foreboding visuals and atmosphere. And the sound effect “OH NO! MY SWORD!” is typical of its cheesy goodness, er, mediocrity.
Final Fight 3 is the best of the SNES Final Fight trilogy. Special moves, multiple branching paths and super specials make it a treat to play. It was roasted back in early 1996 when it came out, but became one of those games people grew to appreciate only after the passage of time.
With such a lame generic name, I didn’t expect much from Fire Power 2000 back in the day. A 2 player co-op mode helped for sure, but it was the overall smooth gameplay that made this an absolute winner.
FireStriker takes the classic Pong/Arkanoid style of play and infuses it with heroes and monsters. Quite an interesting mix.
It even sports a spiffy 4 player battle mode!
Goof Troop is a fun 2 player overhead action puzzle game. Goofy and Max complement each other extremely well — Goofy is stronger while Max is faster. One of the better 2 player titles from the 16-bit generation.
Hook plays a bit on the slow side, but I love its visuals and haunting soundtrack. A whimsical atmosphere adds to its overall appeal.
Remember how cool Zombies Ate My Neighbors was? And remember how good Ghoul Pa… oh wait, no one ever said that. It’s adequate, but considering it’s a spiritual sequel of ZAMN, damn was I disappointed.
The idea of playing a shrunken protagonist navigating everyday objects and environments has greatly appealed to me ever since I saw Honey, I Shrunk The Kids in 1989. Harley’s Humongous Adventure may not have the most appealing aesthetic but it is rather surprisingly decent.
MOST WANTED Hagane
It’s been over 10 years since I bought it and sadly I’ve still yet to play it. The only thing more mind blowing? I bought it back in 2006 for $5!
MISCELLANEOUS
Just as how it was nice that shelf three ended with the three Final Fantasy games, I love how shelf four begins with the Final Fight trilogy.
A classic early SNES shooter, Gradius III is plagued by bouts of slowdown but it’s got an amazing soundtrack and that vintage Gradius gameplay.
Few companies did bosses like Konami!
Konami also makes a mean soccer game — International Superstar Soccer Deluxe is arguably the best 16-bit soccer game ever crafted.
Well, that was easy. Not only is The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past considered arguably the best Super Nintendo game of all time, but it’s also widely regarded as quite possibly the best video game ever created. It’s a timeless, quintessential adventure that never fails to leave a mark.
My all-time favorite baseball game.
WORST GAME Izzy’s Quest for the Olympic Rings DISHONORABLE MENTION King Arthur & the Knights of Justice
Ironically, these were the last two games ever reviewed by Super Play Magazine. I guess they were so bad that even Super Play had to stop and ask themselves “What are we doing with our lives?”
Released December 1991, Lagoon has that first generation SNES charm. Many hated it but once you work out the kinks and quirks, the game can become oddly enjoyable.
Sure, it’s a bit slow in places but it’s tremendously fun to throw stone tires and boomerangs at all sorts of dinosaurs, all in the name of saving your special cave lady. Best of all, you could do it with a friend.
Joe & Mac 2: Lost in the Tropics is a damn fine sequel. It refined a few things from the first game and makes for a worthy addition to any SNES library.
I didn’t expect much from Judge Dredd but was pleasantly surprised by how well it plays. Shoot, punch and kick bad guys into oblivion. Not great but good for a movie tie-in.
Capcom delivered SNES owners with two of the better beat ‘em ups in the form of King of Dragons and Knights of the Round. Now that’s how you do King Arthur justice!
When you take out the game’s best mode (the tornado tag team bedlam mode) and gut two of the six monsters, you’ve earned this “award.” King of the Monsters was as big a disappointment as the monsters themselves.
The Jetsons is a childhood curiosity I still need to quell.
Ditto The Jungle Book.
Still waiting for it patiently…
If you spotted Side Pocket and wonder what the hell it’s doing there, good eye. It’s a placeholder for Justice Beaver. I funded it back in 2015 and am still waiting for the product to be finished.
Kirby’s AvalancheKirby’s Dream CourseKirby’s Dream Land 3Kirby Super Star
All of the Kirby games are terrific.
SHELF SIX
I love how the second row of this shelf begins with the Mega Man quintet. And the first row opens with both Lemmings 1 and 2.
BEST GAME Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals HONORABLE MENTION Mega Man X
From recruiting monsters to the IP system, Lufia II rocks!
X marks the spot indeed.
WORST GAME Lester the Unlikely DISHONORABLE MENTION The Mask
“Aw c’mon, I’m not THAT bad…”
Lacking in self-esteem, Lester’s courage and abilities increase as you progress through the game. It sounds intriguing on paper but unfortunately it lacks in execution what Lester lacks in confidence.
To its credit, The Mask was faithful to source material and tried to be different from your typical movie licensed platformer. But its ugly animations and terrible aesthetic brings it down a notch or two.
Using three vikings’ specialized abilities to reach the stage exit, The Lost Vikings was both innovative and refreshing.
The sequel introduced Fang the wolf and Scorch the dragon. These were fairly underrated titles that got a bit lost [har har -Ed.] in the fold.
Magical Quest’s classic “take-a-block-from-the-sky-and-use-it-on-bad-guys” system, along with costumes that altered Mickey’s abilities, made it such a bloody good time.
Similar to X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, I prefer this game due to its roster (Iron Man, Spider Man, Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine). Plus you can select any superhero for any stage whereas in X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse you couldn’t. Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems came out October 1996 so it’s often forgotten. Give it a shot!
Mega Man 7 divided the fanbase. His homecoming was met with mixed reviews but I find it akin to slipping on an old comfortable pair of jeans.
Michael Jordan in a platformer beating up bad guys with a basketball? That’s as crazy as him retiring from the NBA in his prime to go pursue a baseball career. Both happened, but only one turned out to be any good.
MOST WANTED Metal Warriors
Shame shield activated.
MISCELLANEOUS
Mega Man X² was not the leap over Mega Man X like many of us hoped, but it’s a quality sequel nevertheless.
Mega Man X³ introduced Zero as a playable character. The Mega Man games are a bit like pizza. When it’s good, it’s really good. But even when it’s a bit eh, it’s still alright. Mega Man X³ falls somewhere in the middle.
Can’t go wrong with the Blue Bomber!
The SNES port of Mortal Kombat II spelled vindication and redemption. The blood and Fatalities were both retained in this second go-round, surprising the hell out of everyone back in 1994.
This shelf ends with two “Mr.” games.
The next begins with “Ms.”
Amusing coincidence
Many Ninja Gaiden fans have been vocal about the mishandling of this SNES port. So vocal in fact that I almost feel guilty enjoying it as much as I do. Such a shame there was never a proper 16-bit sequel.
From a pure wrestling standpoint, NCW > Saturday Night Slam Masters.
A quietly solid top-down shooter, Operation Logic Bomb is a one man wrecking crew of a good time.
Pieces is an underrated quirky game. You wouldn’t think assembling pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to be that much fun, but it somehow is. Throw in a nifty 2 player mode and you have a surprisingly competitive affair.
Nosferatu was previewed in 1992 but didn’t come out until late 1995. With that much time you would expect a highly polished game. Instead, its broken difficulty past level 3 makes it a waste of massive potential.
MOST SURPRISING Phalanx
“JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON’T CARE!”
How did this cover get the green light?!
The actual game isn’t too bad
MOST WANTED Ninja Warriors
Man, I really need to fix this. And soon.
MISCELLANEOUS
I like how the previous shelf ended with two “Mister” games and this one began with Ms. Pacman
The Peace Keepers was a disappointing follow-up to Brawl Brothers. The US version was “Americanized” and to no one’s surprise, these changes were to the detriment of the product.
Phantom 2040 is said to be pretty good.
SHELF EIGHT
BEST GAME Pocky & Rocky HONORABLE MENTION Rock ‘N Roll Racing
Pocky & Rocky is tough but it’s one of the better 2 player SNES games.
I remember renting Rock ‘N Roll Racing back in the day and loving its music and violent racing. Born to be Wild never gets old.
Released in December 1996, Realm had a chance to be a sleeper hit. It’s a run ‘n gun featuring some nice visuals and unique creature designs. Unfortunately, the broken difficulty renders it nearly unplayable.
Power Moves was the first import I ever rented back in late 1992. Even then as kids we knew it was a bit lacking. Don’t even bother unless you’re going for a complete collection or for the sake of nostalgia.
Radical Rex is the very definition of fair to middling. But there was something about controlling a skateboarding t-rex with ‘tude that I found somewhat appealing.
Speaking of mascot platformers, Rocky Rodent was hard as nails but I liked how collecting different hairdos gave Rocky different powers.
Plok is a criminally underrated platformer where you control a strange bloke who fires his limbs at enemies, way before Rayman did it. It looks like a “kiddy game” but don’t be fooled, it’s tough as nails.
RoboTrek’s unique combat system, ability to customize robotic allies and the zany universe made it such a blast to play. Love the art style, too!
SNES fans got gypped when it came to Strider. However, Run Saber is a solid consolation prize. It’s a short, easy and fun 2 player hack ‘n slash.
Slippery control derailed this promising platformer.
MOST SURPRISING Rival Turf
For all the hate Rival Turf gets — some have called it Rival Turd — I was pleasantly surprised by how decent this turned out to be, especially for April 1992. It was the first SNES beat ‘em up to feature a 2 player mode.
MOST WANTED R-Type III
Said to be one of the best SNES shooters.
Why haven’t I played it yet?
MISCELLANEOUS
Pocky & Rocky 2 was a worthy sequel.
Prince of Persia is an interesting little game.
Not counting the orange box of Final Fight Guy, Riddick Bowe Boxing is the only North American SNES box that doesn’t have the traditional black side. Instead it’s gray, white and red; it sticks out like a sore thumb.
Another box that stands out on this shelf is Robocop vs. Terminator. It’s the only SNES box that is a hard clamshell and has no title on the side. The game itself can be fun in a dumb, violent kind of way.
Shadowrun is a unique action RPG set in a futuristic cyberpunk world. The game opens with your character awakening from his slumber atop a cold steel slab. It hooked me right away and didn’t let go until the game’s satisfying finale. A sequel was hinted at during the end credits that we sadly never got.
Secret of Mana was an innovative action RPG that allowed 3 players to go at it. This was unheard of back in 1993. Mana may be a little overhyped in some circles but it’s still a quality adventure worth venturing through.
WORST GAME Speed Racer DISHONORABLE MENTION Spider-Man & the X-Men: Arcade’s Revenge
Speed Racer switches from side scrolling platforming to a racing game. The former is barely passable but the latter is absolutely atrocious.
Spider-Man & the X-Men: Arcade’s Revenge was way too hard and while not without some redeeming qualities (the music rocks), overall it falls shy of the mark. Not the worst game ever, though.
GUILTY PLEASURES Snow White: Happily Ever After Sporting News Baseball
Yes, I own a Snow White video game and yes, I kind of dig it. What the hell am I doing with my life?! The platforming is surprisingly competent. Just not the thing you go ’round talking about, not even on the internet
Sporting News Baseball isn’t the greatest baseball game around, but it features the iconic baseball field from my favorite film, Field of Dreams.
Secret of EvermoreSkyblazerSoul BlazerSpace Megaforce
MOST DISAPPOINTING Sparkster
It’s actually pretty good.
I was just expecting a lot more.
MOST SURPRISING Street Fighter Alpha 2
Amazing what Capcom squeezed into a Super Nintendo cartridge!
MOST WANTED Star Fox
Hopefully I appreciate this in 2017 as I would have in 1993…
MISCELLANEOUS
Some under-the-radar titles from this shelf:
Smart BallSoldiers of FortuneSonic Blast Man IISOSSpanky’s Quest
While none of those titles will appear on any top 10 list, they kind of typify a good portion of the SNES catalog. Ranging from decent to very solid, while they’re not essential, they sure round out a collection nicely.
If you like your 16-bit baseball, Super Baseball 2020 is an entertaining futuristic take on the sport. For another outlandish quirky baseball title, be sure to check out Super Baseball Simulator 1.000. It’s outta this world!
[I see what you did there… -Ed.]
Looking for a more traditional baseball game? Then check out the quietly stellar Super Bases Loaded 2. A bit slow but super fun.
Ranging from pretty good to excellent, any of these games would do well to round out a strong Super Nintendo collection.
Super Smash TVSuper TurricanSuper Turrican 2Tecmo Super BaseballTecmo Super BowlTiny Toons: Buster Busts LooseTMNT: Tournament Fighters
MOST DISAPPOINTING Thunder Spirits
Thunder Force III eats it for breakfast.
MOST SURPRISING Super Slap Shot
I really thought this game was going to suck but it ended up reminding me of a 16-bit version of Blades of Steel. Let me pump the brakes because I don’t want to overstate this game’s stock — but it’s surprisingly decent!
Blades of Steel (NES)
MOST WANTED Super Star Wars
Super Empire Strikes Back
Super Return of the Jedi
Super Star Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… I played the first one very briefly. It’s time I rectify this and play the other two. R.I.P. Carrie Fisher
Super Empire Strikes BackSuper Return of the Jedi
MISCELLANEOUS
Time Trax isn’t too shabby.
Can’t go wrong with the Top Gear trilogy.
Closest thing to Out Run on the SNES
I had an odd fetish for Top Gear 3000…
It even sports a quirky 4 player mode!
SHELF TWELVE
The box of EarthBound is so big it needed its own shelf!
The old man’s been kidnapped and it’s up to you to save pops. Luckily, you can turn into a werewolf as well as use a wide variety of firearms. Nothing special, but it’s enjoyable enough, especially on a rainy day.
Vladamasco is being ruled under the iron fist of the diabolical General Von Hesler. As young Spike, a junior magician and vampire in training, you must traverse many strange lands to put an end to Von Hesler’s wicked ways. Attack with your trusty cape and hat (which can be upgraded) in this short but sweet action RPG. It can be beaten in three measly hours, but what fun you’ll have!
Worthy of the Arnold name, True Lies is barbaric and one of the best 16-bit movie licensed games. Few SNES games can match its sheer brutality.
U.N. Squadron is loads of fun.
I’ve always found the SNES port of World Heroes to be underrated and faithful. Easy to pull off combos, vibrant visuals and those oh-so-vicious Death Matches make this one a winner in my book. Besides, where else can you knock someone into burning ropes?
16 fighters, 24 megs and 32 fists (plus a sword and bearded axe) to contend with, World Heroes 2 is everything a sequel should be: bigger and better. The home port adds in a speed option and the ability to play as the two bosses, bringing the count to a whopping 16. Only Super Street Fighter II had as many at that time. Truly an unsung hero. Pun intended.
MOST DISAPPOINTING Total Carnage
Total Carnage is a semi-sequel to Super Smash TV that fails to recapture the magic of the original. This is further exacerbated by a somewhat shoddy home port.
I saw Wolfenstein at a friend’s house in 1992 but my first time ever playing it was with the Super Nintendo in early 1994. And I freaking loved it. I was surprised by how smoothly it ran, relatively speaking of course. In my book, it stands as a stunning, underrated achievement.
MOST WANTED Ys III: Wanderers From Ys
It will be my first Ys game!
MISCELLANEOUS
Tuff E Nuff is kind of odd, from the energy bar placement to the title printed on the box, which reads in full: Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff? It’s fairly decent for a homegrown SNES fighter, however.
Speaking of homegrown fighters, WeaponLord is very deep.
Super Nintendo games represent a sweet spot in gaming for me. It was during a time where games weren’t overly simplistic yet they weren’t yet too complicated, either. It just strikes that happy medium for me. I also find that many SNES games have aged extremely well. Many are as playable and as enjoyable today as they were 20, 25 years ago. It’s a true testament to the timeless quality that many of these games exude.
Nothing like quelling a childhood curiosity at long last!
One of my favorite things to do is come home on a Friday night after a long grueling work week, head to the game room and finally playing that one game that I’ve been wondering about ever since the ’90s. Finding the game on the shelf, opening it up, reading through the color manual, and popping it in to at long last quell a 20+ year curiosity. One guy said it best years ago when he said “It feels like I’m fulfilling my childhood dreams.” Aside from your SNES classics and gems, I find there are also over 100 games that are perfectly playable and enjoyable. Maybe they’re nothing to write home about necessarily, but they can certainly entertain you for a weekend or two. I own over 400 boxed Super Nintendo games and I’d say only a small handful of them are bad. It really blows my mind how deep the SNES library is. It’s probably why I find myself coming back to the system time after time. It’s been a great journey these past 10 years!
Thanks for the memories, SNES Here’s to 10 more years!
They say the only things certain in life are death and taxes. How about change? Times change, people change. Whether we like it or not. Hell, I’ve been using the same oven mitt for twelve years. Changes are happening in the world as well as our very own. Maybe you had a best friend. All relationships go through a change at one point or another. It’s inevitable. Life happens. Maybe one person is hanging onto the past, while the other has moved on. And it’s not always a question of who changed, but who hasn’t. Often times it’s unsettling, especially when you see an old best friend you haven’t seen in years. You always wonder, is the magic still there? Or have you both grown apart? You find yourself wondering, do we have anything left in common, other than the past? One thing’s for sure: it’s not easy saying goodbye.
If you’re lucky, you had a best friend at some time in your life. A best friend you hung out with, grew up with. Are you still best friends with that person? Or have times changed? The following story is something many of us can relate to. I know I sure can. It’s about two best friends, the good old days and the passing of time. It’s my favorite episode from one of my favorite shows, Home Improvement.
One [or two -Ed.] of the best things to come from it!The original Tool Girl was Pamela AndersonSo popular it even had its own (terrible) game!
SHOW HISTORY AND LEGACY
Home Improvement was one of the most watched sitcoms of the 1990s. Debuting just one month after the Super Nintendo did in the US, the family sitcom comedy exploded into American households coast to coast on September 17, 1991. The show centered around Tim Taylor, an accident-prone father of three out in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. He also was the host of a lowly rated cable tool show, TOOL TIME, where in each episode audiences were almost guaranteed one of the following: Tim cracks on Al Borland (Tim’s assistant), Tim cracks on Al’s hefty mom, or Tim causes an accident. Sometimes all three. TOOL TIME played nicely as a show within a show. Back home, Tim’s plucky wife Jill held down the fort while neighbor Wilson Wilson (yes, Wilson Wilson) imparted much of his vast wisdom to Tim in almost every episode, with the amusing gimmick of the audience never being able to see Wilson’s face. As the series evolved, Jill goes back to college to gain her Master’s Degree, the boys grow up and adopt their own trademarks. Young Mark becomes a goth-type, middle son Randy becomes an outspoken environmentalist and Brad becomes entrenched with his blossoming soccer career. Meanwhile, Tim goes through the various stages of being a father, husband, employee, brother and friend. The sitcom ruled the ’90s, winning numerous awards and nominations. The final episode aired on May 25, 1999. Home Improvement ran for eight seasons airing a total of 205 shows. To this day, reruns can be caught on syndicated TV, DVD box sets have been released and fans still regard it fondly as one of their favorite sitcoms of all time.
“RUH OH…”
What accounted for the show’s mega popularity among viewers? Sure, people got a kick out of Tim blowing things up and knocking out Bob Vila with a 4×8, but there was more to it than that. All the characters were immensely likable. You had the never-ending philosophical wisdom of wacky Wilson, Al’s wonderful rapport with Tim, rock-bottom Benny, and of course, who could forget the gorgeous Debbe Dunning as the Tool Girl? Most importantly, the show was funny and it had heart. Some episodes were plain silly while others dealt with serious life matters yet managed to do it in classic Home Improvement fashion: handling it with the right touch of sensitivity while maintaining the lighthearted sense of humor the show was so well known for. Episodes about drugs, cancer and death are only a few examples. This was nothing new among TV sitcoms (Full House and Saved By The Bell had already dealt with such issues) but Home Improvement added its own spin in successful fashion. It was a classic sitcom and the last one I ever really cared about.
R.I.P. EARL HINDMAN (WILSON WILSON)
“Well Tim, I’m reminded of the 16th century poet…”
Besides Tim, Wilson was my favorite character. Imagine living next to him and having the luxury of hearing various 14th century quotes and anecdotes to lift you out of any sticky situation. Now that’s a neighbor right there. He also had the ingenious gimmick of always having his face obscured. Usually by the fence but later on the producers found more creative methods that ranged from silverware to even medieval knight helmets!
Somehow he was always at the right place, right timeWherever trouble was brewing, Wilson was thereThanks for the memories, Earl Hindman
SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE
Introducing STU CUTLER
Christopher McDonald makes a special one time guest appearance in this Home Improvement episode. You might remember him. He’s been in over 80 films and usually plays the devious bad guys or pompous assholes. Brief résumé:
Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore
Tappy Tibbons from Requiem for a Dream
Thelma & Louise
Grumpy Old Men
Portrayed Joe DiMaggio in ESPN’s original The Bronx Is Burning
Voice actor (Iron Giant, Superman: The Animated Series,Batman Beyond)
This is a story of two old best friends…
The passing of time…
And that inevitable mistress we call change.
Whether we wish for change to happen or not.
Always has, and by God, always will.
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER… OR BEST FRIENDS 15 YEARS AGO?
Original air date: January 14, 1992 (almost 25 years!)
“Now remember what I told you. Plant your elbow inside your knee like this. Alright, and don’t just lift your arm, pull the weight to your shoulder. GOOD, good. Now exhale. Try grunting, it helps.”
“ARR! ARR! ARRRR!”
“Good job. You gonna be real strong if you keep this up.”
“I wanna be the strongest one on the football team.”
“I can see it now. Bradley Taylor, the muscular son of Tim Taylor carrying the ball, he’s got sixty people dragging behind him. 30, the 20, the 10 — OH — he fell because his muscles are just TOO big!”
“Hey Brad, your muscles look really big…”
“Think so?”
“Yeah, the one IN YOUR HEAD.”
“Easy boys… I’ll give you haircuts…”“WHOA. Muscle Beach right here in my own garage”
“Wrong honey, this is the Tim Taylor Testosterone hour. I got an idea. Let’s flex for her. Drop the weights. Alright guys, prepare yourself, ready…
Egyptian Biception!“
“WHOAAAA!”“BUTTOCK FLEX!”“THREE POINT CRAB!”“Wow, incredible, ten points”“I PUMP FER YOU MY LITTLE ANGEL. VHERE’S DEE OIL!?”
“Well stick around and I’ll smear you with bacon grease.”
“I’LL BE BACK!”
“Tim, don’t forget to pick up some videos tonight after work.”
“Yeah Dad, how about we get Bury Me Again?”
“Hey NO! It’s family night!”
“Yeah yeah honey, it’s family night… oooh how about… Bayonet Hell?”
“Hey, it’s my turn to pick. You’re going to get Sound of Music.”
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!“
*phone rings*
“I’ll get it.”
“Family movie…”
“How about we get Fang Woman? She had a family”“She ATE her family”“TIM!”“What’s the matter?”
“STU CUTLER.”
“Calling from Akron?”
“No, he’s in town.”
“Great!”
“DO NOT invite that slug over here tonight.”
“Come on… he’s one of my best friends.”
“Hey Puke Face! How’s it hanging? And DEEP, haha!”“So they let ya back in town. We gotta see each other”“Jill would love to see ya…”
“This afternoon? Oh, uh…”
“… I gotta work. Be working all day… uh huh… Come over there… yeah… yeah it’ll be great… uh huh… Not even with your lips, haha. Alright, see ya then.”
“Please say he’s not coming over tonight cause it’s Family Night, and the chili, cornbread, the Sound of Music.”
“I didn’t invite him OVER. I said I’ll meet him after work. We’ll go have a couple beers. I’ll come home after that.”
“ALONE.”
“Yes. Why are you so hard on Stu?”
“The last time he was here he shook up a beer and sprayed it all over the family room.”
“Foam fight. He likes to clown around.”
“His idea of clowning around is drinking and making body noises.”
“So? He likes to drink beer and make music.”
“Playing ‘The Girl From Ipanema’ in his armpit is not musical.”
“You ever tried that?”
“That’s it from me, Tim the Tool Man Taylor, reminding you to get those storm windows and doors in early… CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW, when that storm’s gonna come rollin’ through. See ya next time.”
“Wait a minute, Al. Come over here, c’mon. This wild dog here was my college roommate. Stu Cutler, Al Borland.”
“Hi Stu”“Hey Al. Nice beard… had chili for lunch, huh?”“No I didn’t, Stu”
“SO, gotta work with this JERK huh, Al?”
“Yes I do, Stu”“… well, it was nice meeting ya”
“Uh, GREAT sense of humor!” “Thank you”“He’s serious but he knows his way around the shop”
“Kill me, juuust kill me now. She looks even better in person. Introduce me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’s a coworker, a good friend of mine and you’re nothing but dry hog phlegm.”
“Watch my move.”
“Hi, Stu Cutler”
“Bye Tim, see you Monday.”
“Bye Lisa.”
“Ahhh boy. It’s good to see you STILL have it, Cutler. She’s not your type, man. SHE CAN SEE. Now come on, let’s go down and get a beer. I’ll get changed up and go.”
“Your house?”
“I thought we go to the place on the corner we like.”
“You’re not gonna take me home to dinner?”
“I thought maybe just you and me go out together.”
“Wait, now I can’t come to town without seeing Jill Pill”
“She’ll understand. It’ll be like a guys’ night out.”
“Wait, so you don’t want me to come to your house”
“No, of course not, you’re ALWAYS welcomed at my house.”
“WELL LET’S GO!“
“… YEAH, WHY NOT!”
“Jill will be so surprised to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see her face!”
“Me neither…”
***15 MINUTES LATER***
“Jill, Jill!”
“Oh good you’re home. You got rid of Stu fast.”
“I didn’t get rid of him — he’s parking his car.”
“OH NO YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME?!”
“Jill, he really misses you. He likes you.”
“No he doesn’t, he just likes to make fun of me and crush beer cans on his head.”
“Well, they gotta be crushed if you gonna recycle them… aww, I couldn’t get rid of him. I couldn’t say no. He’ll just come over, have a beer and that’s it.”
“Well OK, but if he crosses the line I’m personally going to throw him out.”
“What’s crossing the line?”
“Behavior that would be classified as SUBHUMAN”“Can’t you be a little more flexible than that?”
“After ONE beer, he is GONE.”
“OWWWW-OOOOOOOH!”“THEEEEE STU-STER’S HEEEEERE!”
“Beer, Stu?”
“READ MY MIND!“
“Come on in, buddy!”
“WHERE’S THAT JILL?”“AHHHHHHHHHH!”“HAAAAAAH!”“HAAAH!”“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”“Gosh you look good. Now you’ve lost some weight”
“Yeah, I have. Thanks.”
“Now THERE’S a very human compliment”“So what’s the goal, another 10?”“UGGGHH…”“Tim, if you hadn’t married Jill, I would have”“Ha, now there’s something to think about, honey”“Weeell… life would sure be different”
“Well it sure would. Timmy, you’d be visiting us tonight. And Jill would be a satisfied woman.”
“Almost done with that beer, Stu?”
“Haven’t even cracked it. So, where’s the boys?”
“They’re across the street.”
“Well, get them over here Jill. I gotta see those wild puppies!”
“Well, they wouldn’t want to miss the Stu-ster. Brad, Randy, Mark!”
“FOAM FIGHT!!!!”
“Hey come on!”
“Ah I wasn’t gonna do it, Timmy. Just wanted to see that look on Jill’s face…”
“Oh yup, there’s that look right there!”
“Stu-ster!”
“Randy! WHOA LOOK AT YOU!”
“Hey Stu!”
“The Bradster! You guys are getting so big! Pretty soon you’ll be able to take the old man.”
“We already can”
“Uncle Stu!!”
“Marky! God you’re getting so big and strong.”
“We’ve been lifting Dad’s weights, wanna see them?”
“Well sure, where are they?”
“In the garage, come on.”
“Ooooh.”
“Daddy’s been posing for mommy.”
“Posing as what? A MAN??”
“Did he cross the line? You gotta admit, it’s an interesting way to begin Family Night huh?”
“Yeah.”
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”“THERE SHE WAS JUST AH WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET!”
“Singing DO-WAH-DIDDY-DIDDY-DUM-DEE-DO!
She looked good, she looked fine, she looked good she looked fine, and I nearly lost my mind!
Oh Taylor! Think quick!”
*Stu tosses crushed beer can to Tim to be recycled*“It’s official — that beer can is gone”
“I’m way ahead of ya. I’ll get him to go.”
“Hey guys, you go inside and help set the table. I’m gonna talk to Uncle Stu.”
“Oh not so fast poser. I got 150 pounds on here. Boys, I don’t think the old man can bench press this.”
“Show him, Dad.”
“Yeah, do it.”
“Spot me.”
“Oooooh.”
“… Were you gonna do this sometime today?”“UHHHH!!”“He’s turning red. I hope his eyes don’t pop out”
“Are you OK Dad?”
“It’s easy when you use the right form.”
“Are you gonna cry?”“NO I’M NOT GONNA CRY! Go set the table”“Haha, you didn’t strain anything there, did ya?”
“Hey, remember how we used to go to the gym, practically kill ourselves trying to impress Donna Gilmore?”
“DONNA GILMORE…”
“I haven’t seen or heard from her in years.”
“Hey remember, you and me and Donna driving around in our ’68 Impala, top down, her blonde hair blowing in the wind… gosh she was a beauty.”
“Sure was. WHAT A CAR“
“That was a 327 small-block, man. It had an Edelbrock Holley 850 dual feed on that thing. It had tubular headers, glass packs. Chromed the kanuter valve, hahaha!”
“Hey, you know what I got?”
“I know what you got!”
“Picture of that Impala!”
“HOOD UP…”“HOOD DOWN!”
“There’s that screaming machine.”
“This would be a classic today if it weren’t for that little fire we had, and I know I turned that fuel filter on. It wasn’t my fault!”
“HA… yeah we’ve had some good times haven’t we”“Yeah we have”
“Don’t you wish we could go BACK… live those days all over again?“
“They were great… but today’s real good, ya know?”“NOT THE SAME!”
“Just look me straight in the eye, and tell me that wasn’t the BEST time of your life.”
“… It was good… it was good… listen Stu, Jill and I were talking, tonight’s Family Night — “
“Wait, you’ve already made me feel like family. You know what we need here? Another beer!”
“Awww, I’m all out! I should have thought of that…”
“Hey no prob — I’ll just go get some more.”
“Whoa Stu, are you leaving?” “Yeah”“Well, SO nice to see you. I hope we can do it again”“Well let’s do it again in 15! I’m just getting some beer”
“Jill, that pile of human vermin, best friend I ever had”“Stu, you should write greeting cards”
“Ha… oh wait… *burp* AH, there it was.”
***STU EXITS***
“I told you I’d get him to go after one beer...”
“… I didn’t say he wouldn’t be coming back…”
“I know we used to be friends in college and everything, but do you, um, like Stu now?”
“I know he can be a pain, but we shared a lot of good times.”
“Well, if you just met him today for the first time, do you think that you would become friends?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“He’s a lot of laughs.”
“I guess I just don’t get it.”
“… it’s a guy thing”“Wilson?”“Hi-ho neighbor!”
“What you doin’?”
“OH just pounding myself some horseshoes.”
“Wouldn’t a pair of loafers be more comfortable?”
“Nono no, Tim. These are shoes I toss. Look at this. Perfect weight. Perfect balance. Aerodynamically correct.”
“Oh. OWWW!“
“And very VERY hot”“Oh how I love this game. What it is, is ALL in the wrist”“Wilson, can I ask you something?”
“Make your best pitch, Timmy.”
“I got this old friend in town, and I always think we’re going to have a lot of fun, but instead we always talk about all the fun we used to have.”
“Well there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing, Tim.”
“But he thinks I’m the same guy I was 15 years ago.”
“Mmm hmm, mmm hmm, mmm hmm.”
“And I try to be that guy, but, I’m really not”
“Well it sounds like he’s spending all his time looking backwards, and you’re spending yours looking forward.”
“That’s it, I can’t keep up with this guy. The THOUGHT of crushing a beer can on my head makes my butt QUIVER.”
“Well that’s why I gave it up, Tim”
“I don’t know what to do about him.”
“Well it sounds to me like you’re having a hard time saying goodbye.”
“He’s been one of my best friends for 15 years”“Is he, Tim? Or was he your best friend… 15 years ago?”
“You see Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said, When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I THOUGHT as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
“Arr arr arr”“OWWWWWW-OOOOOOOOH!”
“Oww-ooh.”
“Hey! Guess who I ran into down at the store? Mike FORSHAY and TINO!“
“Oh, Tino and Forshay. What are those guys up to now?”
“Oh they’re still a couple wild dogs. They’re going down to Club Piranha and get crazy. I told them you and I’ll meet them there.”
“I’m not going to Club Piranha.”
“But you have to go! You remember back in college the four of us stayed up 36 hours and then drove halfway to Mexico City, with the emergency brake on?”
“I’m not going out tonight. Stu, I thought we were gonna stay here. You know, watch TV, the video, chili with the kids.”
“Oh right, the family thing… NO PROBLEM. I’ll call Tino and Forshay, they can get a keg of beer and come OVER HERE!“
“NO Stu, no”“Hey this is TINO and FORSHAY. It’ll be like old times”
“Tell you what, why don’t you go down to Club Piranha, you hang out with those guys.”
“Without you? COME ON, it won’t be the SAME!““Stu, I don’t think it IS the same”
“Dad, dinner will be ready, can I turn on the video?”
“Not now.”
“OK.”
“What are you watching?” “Sound of Music…”
“… Sound of Music. Maybe I will go down and meet Forshay and Tino. Would I be a real jerk if I skipped dinner and kind of headed out?”
“No, not at all, skip.”
“I just don’t want to disappoint Jill.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be rough but I’ll be able to smooth it out.”
“Oh how lovely, we’ll have dinner music”“Come on Uncle Stu, sit by us!”
“Well buddies, heh, I gotta be heading out.”
“Jill, I know this is going to be a tremendous disappointment to all of you. Stu can’t stay for dinner or the movie.”
“Awwwww”
“I ran into some old buddies. We’re just gonna go out, have some uh, coffee, and talk.”
“Coffee?”
“Bye Jill.”
“Goodbye, it was nice to see you.”
“Good to see you too.”
“You be good, huh?” “Yeah! Bye Uncle Stu!”“If you, Tino and Forshay get crazy, call a cab alright?”
“Always do… hey, next time I’m in town, I’ll give you a little more warning when I call.”
“Do that”“We’ll still get together, hang out, HAVE SOME LAUGHS”“… Just like the old days eh”“Just like the good old days!”“Hey, tell you what, keep the beer”
“Go ahead.”
“C’mon.”
“See ya.”
“See ya.”
“OK dad, the movie’s ready”
“OK, alright, everybody can see?”
“Yep!”
“Wait, I’ll need my box of tissues.”
“This isn’t Sound of Music — this is… Bayonet Hell!”“YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!”
“Last time we showed you how to install an aluminum storm window on an existing wooden frame. Today, we hung a storm door on an existing wood frame.”
“Now, the important thing about putting a door in is hanging it, cause if it’s not hung well, then you got a problem. Right Al?”
“SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, TIM”
“When installing a door, you gotta make it fit exactly like it’s supposed to. So make sure your hinge is aligned with the king stud.”
“WELL THANK YOU TIM”
“It’s also very important to remember that doors often change with age. The older a door gets, the more warped it becomes.”
“And sometimes we forget… things change with age…”
“SO, remember, check those doors, as they may not fit like you remember.”
“OHH NOO!”
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS!”
I was only a kid when I first saw this episode. It wasn’t until years later, in my 20’s, that I realized what a poignant and powerful episode this is. We’ve all been there at some point. We had a best friend from long ago that we kind of lost touch with over the years. Then, one day seemingly out of the blue, circumstances bring our lives back together again. Sometimes it’s a natural seamless transition. We carry on as if we never left. But other times, the past is all we have in common, and we carry on without that person ever entering our lives again. You never know which way it swings. Personally, I’ve had both. Thankfully, my childhood best friend, Nelson, and I still keep in touch today. We don’t talk like we once used to, but the thing about our friendship is we can go months without contact but as soon as we do, it’s like we never left. Those friendships are the best. So, remember, change is constant. Sometimes it seems to happen slowly. Other times, it comes in crashing waves. And that things and people definitely do change with age. Like Tim did, the important thing to keep in mind is knowing who you really are today.
Released in early 1991, Street Fighter II would forever change the course of gaming history. Sweeping coast to coast like a blistering tornado, swooping up everyone ruthlessly in its path, Street Fighter II took the video game world by storm. Gamers cutting classes, thousands of quarters disposed and endless lines — it was all just another day at the office for Capcom’s epochal once in a generation masterpiece. It was more than just a game; it was a phenomenon. Street Fighter II became a way of life for many. Never before did a game offer the endless combinations that Street Fighter II presented. In every pizza parlor, arcade hall, 7-11 — anywhere you could imagine — there was bound to be a Street Fighter II arcade cab with a line of eager players not far behind. Capcom had truly created a monster.
Then came the murmurs. If you put your ear low to the ground, you could hear the rumblings. Capcom was porting their money maker over to the Super Nintendo. The thought of being able to play the game in the comfort of your living room with no lines, no sticky buttons and no quarters? It was every kid’s dream come true in early 1992. That summer we got our wish when Street Fighter II made its home debut with a splash. Capcom pulled out all the stops, making this the first 16 MEG monster on the SNES. It was a glorious summer, indeed.
You’ve made it when you’re on the cover of snacks!
Eight warriors spanning the globe, each with their own special moves, six buttons of varying speed and strength, unique quarter motions requiring some degree of skill, combos… Capcom caught lightning in a bottle.
Anyone who was a gamer and involved in the arcade scene back in the early ’90s has a story about Street Fighter II. This is mine…
SUMMER 1991
Pride comes before the fall…
My dad drove me, my brother Kevin and his friends to a 7-11 one hot summer day. We were going to pick up some chips and slurpees to enjoy on this scorching summer day. Inside was a Street Fighter II cab, naturally. One of my brother’s friends, Mike, challenged me to a duel right there in the store. Ahh, Mike was a classic dude. He was a burly 10 year old cocky punk who acted tougher than he really was. I selected Dhalsim because I was always drawn to underdogs and “freaks.” Mike was trash talking even before the match began. I wasn’t yet skilled enough to pull off a special move, hell, I didn’t even know how! But on that day it didn’t matter, for you see, Mike had no answer for Dhalsim’s long limbs. I ended up perfecting him two rounds in a row! It was the upset of the decade! My seven and a half year old self couldn’t believe it, and neither could Mike, who just stood there completely in shock.
My brother and Mike’s other friend were jumping around going “OHHHH!!!” I became the man of the hour, and Mike was never going to live this moment down, ever. I knew then and there Street Fighter II was no ordinary game. It’s a memory that’s never left me. The moment cemented me as a Dhalsim and Street Fighter II fan for life. And to this day, whenever I happen to step inside a 7-11 to pick up a cold drink on a hot summer day, I can’t help but think back to that moment in time.
1991 was a good year. Damn, it’s been 25 years…
My bro, his friends and I used to frequent a local card shop, TRIPLE PLAY, on a biweekly basis. My bro would get 2 bucks to spend, and I’d get a dollar from my dad. I always spent that dollar on a Marvel 1991 trading card pack. My brother would as well, and then he’d use his last remaining dollar on the Street Fighter II cab. Kevin would occasionally spare me a quarter (what a great older brother, eh?) but most of the times I just stood by, happily checking out my new Marvel cards while keeping an eye on the older kids trading fireballs and fists.
Once in a while a game transcends gaming itself
And as the 8-bit Nintendo was making its final push in the US, word broke out about a SUPER Nintendo. A machine that promised to break all boundaries of modern technology and bring home the next wave of console gaming. Later that year the SNES launched and quality software like Super Mario World, Contra III: The Alien Wars and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ensured that the SNES hype was real.
Street Fighter II and SNES — a match made in Heaven
However, as great as those titles were and as much as they contributed to the ascension of the Super Nintendo, to me it was Street Fighter II that truly etched the system’s greatness in granite.
The anticipation built to a fever pitch
On a hot summer night in 1992, my brother and mom left to Sears Funtronics with one simple mission in mind: secure and bring home the hottest 16-bit video game. I stayed back and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. The seconds felt like minutes. The minutes felt like hours. Fight fever had officially taken over. When my bro finally made it back with Street Fighter II in hand, I’m pretty sure all my neighbors could hear our cries of joy. It was yet another moment in time of being nine years old, growing up in suburbia and experiencing the best era of video gaming.
Right off the bat we noticed the little intro was missing, but honestly, we didn’t really care. It still felt like we had the arcade in our living room! Or at the very least, a strong slice of the arcade. And at that time, July 1992, that was more than enough to leave a lasting imprint on all of us.
No more quarters needed ^_^
THE WORLD WARRIORS
RYU DOB: 7.21.64 5’10” 150 lbs
The main character of the franchise, Ryu became the face of fighting games. A master of the Shotokan martial art, Ryu lives for the fight and only the fight. While some may consider him to be a little bland, there’s no denying he’s an iconic character who holds claim to some of the most legendary special moves in all of fighting game history.
Duke it out on the dojo rooftop. Only the privileged few have ever step foot here. And you were lucky to leave the dojo on your own two feet!
Ah, the Hadoken fireball. Arguably the most iconic move in fighting game history, you just can’t beat a good old Hadoken.
The classic Hurricane Kick.
The double axe kick is a good way to polish off combos. It does a fair amount of damage. Your victim even vomits, which was always a fun sight gag.
SHO-RYU-KEN! The Dragon Punch, much like Ryu himself, has often been imitated but so rarely duplicated.
KEN DOB: 2.14.65 5’10” 169 lbs
Friend and foe of Ryu’s, Ken is the more flamboyant of the two. He knows every move that Ryu knows. But unlike Ryu, Ken believes there is more to life than just the fight. In battle he is often times reckless and has a higher propensity to show off. Will arrogance be Ken’s ultimate undoing?
Ken loves having an audience, and this boat provides him with just that. Storage barrels line the battle field and break if hit violently.
“HADOKEN!”
Ken’s Hurricane Kick packs a wallop when administered in succession.
“ARE YOU KEN!?” Wait, no, I’M Ken…
Ken and Ryu are virtually identical in Street Fighter II, except Ken’s kick throw sees him tumbling his victim through the air like a circus act. Yup, Ken was always the showoff.
Pretty much!
E. HONDA DOB: 11.3.60 6’2″ 304 lbs
Edmond Honda entered the World Warrior tournament to prove the legitimacy of sumo wrestling to an unbelieving world. A winner of the “Yokozuna” title, E. Honda also holds claim to having the fastest hands known to mankind. He’s more agile than he looks, reminding one to never judge a book by its cover.
A well-polished ring is kept ready for combat whether sumo or street fighting. He forbids spectators as Honda isn’t about spectacle but rather the pure uninterrupted spirit of true competition. Honda likes cooling off in his hot tub between battles.
His double knee inflicts a good amount of damage. It’s like being whacked by a tree limb!
Ken may never have kids…Nutcracker city y’allHundred Hand Bitch Slap
BLANKA DOB: 2.12.66 6’5″ 218 lbs
For years natives have reported seeing something strange roaming deep within the rain forest. Although the stories vary, a few things remain consistent. This half man, half beast is incredibly fast, savage and as green as the rain forest itself. The creature became something of a “Brazilian Boogeyman.” The local government refused to acknowledge it and even ordered a media black out. That didn’t stop certain vigilantes however from setting up camp and trying to snap a shot of the wild beast. After years of murmurs and rumors, the creature known as Blanka emerged out of the shadows to win the great Street Fighter II tournament.
After hiding in seclusion for years in the Brazilian rain forest, Blanka is now ready to take on the world. The natives are shocked to see the beast in the light of day and snap photos to prove that their eyes aren’t deceiving them. Imagine if this game were made in 2010. Those old cameras would be replaced with iPhones recording the action!
A savage attack befitting a wild beastHe’s got an electric personality…
We get a hint of blood with Blanka’s face bite. Nintendo of America was very sensitive with blood back in those early days, so mad respect to Capcom for being able to sneak in as much as they did.
Double Knee Smasher!
Momma always said use your noggin.
GUILE DOB: 12.23.60 6’1″ 191 lbs
During a special mission in Thailand, Guile and his best pal Charlie were captured by a tyrant named M. Bison. Charlie was murdered at the hands of M. Bison, and ever since then Guile has been out for blood. Using a unique blend of Special Forces training and street fighting skills, Guile is one of the most beloved characters of all time. Although Ryu and Ken were the faces of the game, Guile was always that cool alternative protagonist. He had the looks, the moves and who could ever forget his epic stage music?
His comrades cheer him on to victory. Wooden boxes shatter like a Spanish announcer table at a WWE event.
Guile’s Sonic Boom is nearly just as iconic as the Hadoken itself. In some ways, I even prefer it to the Hadoken. Remember the jab version being so slow that in some cases you could follow it up with a well timed backfist? Super satisfying.
It never gets old, never
If at first you don’t succeed…
… then try again!Suplex City, bitch
CHUN LI DOB: 3.1.68 5’8″ Never ask a lady her weight!
The so-called “Strongest Woman in the World” entered the tournament in hopes of avenging her father’s death, whose death she believes is on the head of a mysterious crime lord known only as M. Bison. Her obsession with vengeance fuels her every move, but will her burning passion for blood lust be her downfall? It’s a razor thin line; I wouldn’t want to get in her way! And between Guile and Chun Li, M. Bison better have eyes in the back of his head…
In a quaint Chinese village there lies a small but bustling marketplace. As a customary form of travel, many folks leisurely pass by on bicycles. Meanwhile, a man in the background is busy preparing a chicken to be sold to customers. It’s just another hard day’s work to make ends meet.
Spinning Bird Kick!Tap dance awayChun Li with the educated feet
Always a nice touch ^_^
ZANGIEF DOB: 6.1.56 7’0″ 256 lbs
The strongest man in the tournament, this Russian wrestler fights bears for fun. And that’s really all you need to know. Zangief is not very user friendly — only the most advanced Street Fighter II players will be able to use him effectively. Man of a thousand holds, he owns the most devastating move in the game: the Spinning Piledriver! Pretty much every fighting game that came after this had a strong man with a similar big move. In that regard, like him or not, Zangief was something of a trailblazer.
Zangief works long hours six days a week at this industrial factory in Mother Russia. During his break, as a way to entertain himself, he takes on all comers. His comrades cheer on from the sidelines.
Uh oh…
The Spinning Piledriver is the hardest move to execute, but it also dishes out the most damage.
Avoid fireballs with the Spinning ClotheslineHaggar taught Zangief well
Ahhh, the first fighter I ever picked. Dhalsim and I bonded from day one. He’s incredibly flexible and has the ability to stretch his limbs to attack opponents from a distance. This makes him a formidable foe not to be taken lightly, despite his lack of speed. Over the course of his long life Dhalsim has sought to unify his mind, body and soul through the discipline of Yoga. Through his meditation he’s able to spew fire from deep within. He makes for quite the hit at summer BBQs!
Dhalsim loves to meditate inside this indoor temple and stretch [Really? -Ed.] to gear up for battle. He’s proud of the rich wall tapestry and finely crafted architecture that represents his heritage.
I don’t think he washes his feet…Stretch fighters became a staple of the genre
The Yoga Noogie is an alternative option to Dhalsim’s regular throw. Instead of forward + fierce you press toward + medium. I liked how the game gave you two options for Dhalsim (and a few others, such as Honda and Guile). Besides, what’s better than pounding on someone’s skull so hard that they’re forced to do squats?
Up close Dhalsim is not the best striker, but this double headbutt is a notable hit. It’s similar to Blanka’s double headbutt, but it’s much stronger and I love the sound effect it makes. You can really feel the power of Dhalsim’s cranium.
The Yoga Fire was always one of my favorite fireballs in all of fighting games. Because it’s literally just that. A fireball! Plus it looks so simple and it actually sets your opponent on fire if they fail to block it. It made Dhalsim extra cool in my book that he was the only fighter who could produce this animation.
Yoga Flame inflicts even more damageAvailable for summer BBQ bookings!
THE BOSSES
M. Bison in JapanBattle Balrog under the Las Vegas lights!Ryu, you’re supposed to run before he countsMike Tyson > BalrogBalrog in JapanThe masked ninja will climb the fence in a pinchRyu’s eternal nemesisChest scar courtesy of Ryu from the first Street FighterVega in Japan
Bison tossing off his cape right before the battle begins was so badass.
Can you withstand his twisted Psycho powers?
BONUS ROUNDS
The thing about bricks is this…“BRICKS DON’T HIT BACK”
Best bonus round ever
Simply classic stuff
STREET FIGHTER II: THE SILLY WARRIOR
You know what this reminds me of?Mr. Sparkle!
[Yeah, I blocked this memory out. THANKS -Ed.]Creepy witches abound…
Meditate and maybe you’ll be this forgiving, too…
DIZZY RAMA
While strikes and special moves are nice, they don’t mean nearly as much as when they’re linked together. Two-in-ones and combos are the heartbeat of true masterchampions.
Deadly in its own right…But when chained into another attack…It becomes absolutely lethal!
COMBO TIPS AND STRATEGIES
Every kid bought this guide back in the day
My brother and I even bought the GamePro Street Fighter II Strategy Guide back in 1992. It was the first guide we ever bought, and to this day it remains my favorite guide of all time. I wasn’t a huge fan of GamePro Magazine, but this guide was awesome. Over 2,000 full color screenshots and combos galore.
RYU
Jumping fierce
Standing fierce
Dragon Punch
47% damage
KEN
Jumping roundhouseStanding fierceQuickly cancel into a HadokenOpponent still reeling…Still reeling…A thing of beauty
E. HONDA
Jumping fierce
Standing strong
Ducking fierce
44% damage
Jumping fierce
Standing roundhouse (double hit)
42% damage
CHUN LI
Jumping fierce
Standing strong
Ducking roundhouse
39% damage
Jumping jab
Standing jab
Standing strong
Standing fierce
42% damage
BLANKA
Jumping roundhouse
Standing strong
Ducking roundhouse
41% damage
Jumping fierce
Ducking forward
Rolling Attack
44% damage
GUILE
Throw a jab Sonic BoomFollow upSpinning backfist
Jumping fierce
Ducking strong
Standing strong
FLASH KICK
60% damage!
Jumping jab
Standing jab
Sonic Boom
Standing jab
Ducking short
47% damage
ZANGIEF
Jumping short
Ducking jab
Ducking short
SPINNING PILEDRIVER
63% (!!!) damage
Jumping fierce
Ducking strong
Ducking roundhouse
41% damage
DHALSIM
Slide right before a fireballYou slide under and take ‘em outDhalsim is so skinny…… that he can even fit under a Hadoken!It’s effective against a fireball happy foe
Here’s the classic roundhouse fireball “trap.”
Throw a fireball of any speed. When they jump, knock them out of the sky with a roundhouse kick!
You can harass opponents by throwing a jab fireball and then quickly executing a ducking fierce for an easy, almost unavoidable hit!
ENDINGS
Finish the game on levels 0-2 and you’ll be asked to challenge a harder level.
Levels 3-5 earns you your character’s ending.
Level 6 or 7 will display the credits. You also get to watch your favorite world warriors mix it up in a demo mode.
If beaten without ever changing charactersNo swapping, no continues
And should you not lose one round on level 7, then you can press start to make Chun Li say “Yatta!” (Japanese for I did it).
Let’s take a look at some of the endings.
RYU
BLANKA
GUILE
WHOA!Please edit that out…
KEN
Damn all these beautiful girls…
“See? She was with me…”“Me too!”“Who else have you been with?”
“And then I saw the footage…”
Things get rather graphic…Moral: Pick the rock, not the hoWhoa easy there, pal!
“Oh, you’re getting married? Then prepare to be like me. You’ll be choking the chicken night and day, sir…”
Wait, what just happened? Uh, let’s just move on…
FIGHT FEVER
Everywhere you looked, Street Fighter II dominated
The pages (and covers) of EGM were dominated by Capcom’s 2D juggernaut. Every month there was page after page of coverage. Overkill? Quite possibly, but as EGM once wrote in an editorial, you go with what sells. And did Street Fighter II on the SNES sell or what! Sales for the first week set new records. Nearly everyone and their brother were drunk with Street Fighter II fever.
Soon thereafter came the clones. Many other companies started putting out their own fighting games in hopes of capturing lightning in a bottle and get their own slice of the pie. The years 1992-1994 were absolutely inundated by fighting games, and it was considered the “fighting game golden age.” I remember fondly a time where each time you visited the arcades, it felt like there was a new fighting game that popped up overnight like a pimple on prom night. It was an exciting and wild time if you loved fighting games as much as I did. But of course, very few came close to even sniffing the jock strap of Street Fighter II.
Here’s an excerpt from EGM’s September 1992 Insert Coin that captures that time frame in a nutshell quite well.
THE STREET FIGHTER II PHENOMENON
Could Street Fighter fever last forever? Yes, it could…
OK, by now virtually everybody in the country has the mega-hot Street Fighter II. Judging by the hundreds of letters we have already received, player satisfaction with this prime cart is at an all-time high. The impact of this game goes beyond just the software sales. Based on the letters we have received, literally thousands have bought Super Nintendos just to play this. SNK has just brought out a huge 87 meg fighting game called World Heroes, and we see no end in sight. How long will Street Fighter II stay popular? Most likely through the holidays. Or maybe forever. All in all, a big tip of the hat has to go to Capcom for all of the work they did in creating this phenomenon. This could be the Game of the Year!
EGM CREATES AN INTERNATIONAL MONSTER
When an innocent prank becomes legendary
EGM ran a joke in their April 1992 issue about how to fight a mysterious character named Sheng Long. Many thought this to be real including Hong Kong publication JADEMAN COMICS, who ended up printing the fake code. It later made its way to England’s GAME ZONE, who not only printed the code but updated it to supposedly work on the SNES port! Talk about lack of research…
The infamous Sheng Long April Fools joke became something of a legend and even infiltrated its way into Street Fighter II lore. EGM would go on to conduct annual April Fools jokes as a reader contest, but they never could quite recapture the magic like they had with the Sheng Long gag.
Check out this blurb from Super Play:
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
EGM: 10, 10, 9, 9 (won EGM’s 1992 Game of the Year)
GameFan: 100, 99, 97, 95, 88%
Super Play: 94%
CLOSING THOUGHTS
One of the most iconic and influential games ever
Street Fighter II was a happening. When it hit arcade scenes in early 1991 it changed the way we viewed video games. Sure, fighting games had existed before but it wasn’t until Street Fighter II that fighting games became a staple of the video gaming fabric. It spawned numerous clones, some of which were forgettable but a few became heavy fan favorites, and it was thanks to Street Fighter II for largely paving the way. The Super Nintendo port, while far from perfect, sure felt close to perfect back in the summer of ’92 when it originally came out. It was the first game that made me feel like we could finally play arcade games at home. Final Fight did a decent job of that, but there were too many blatant sacrifices. With Street Fighter II, however, it was a glimpse into the future that home systems were now JUST powerful enough to faithfully capture the spirit and essence of an arcade game. Moreover, I just remember the summer and fall of 1992 being dominated by SNES Street Fighter II, blistered thumbs and bruised egos. My friends and I played it to death — it was truly THE game to have back in those days.
Sure, there are far superior ports of Street Fighter II available today, and many do view the Super Nintendo port as obsolete and nothing but a nostalgic remembrance. Call me crazy but I still occasionally play this game and I’ll be damned if I don’t still love it. Even to this day, I find myself impressed by the port, knowing what they were able to squeeze into a Super Nintendo cartridge. Yeah it has the slow speed of the arcade original, and yeah it’s technically imperfect, but as a Super Nintendo game released in July of 1992, it was nothing short of a beast.
Keep on keeping on, Street Fighter
I feel very lucky that when the Street Fighter craze went down I was young enough to be awestruck yet just old enough to appreciate the magnitude of the event. Capcom hit lightning in a bottle, sparking a cross-cultural phenomenon. For every Hadoken shot around the world, every Dragon Punch, and for every Flash Kick, the Street Fighter legacy rocks on.
Graphics: 10
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 9
Overall: 10
Platinum Award
Hats off to you, Capcom. We’ll never forget the memories of that special time in video gaming when fighting games were all the rage. A time when going to the arcades was the highlight of your week and everyone, truly, was kung fu fighting. No matter how old we shall grow, we’ll always remember those halcyon times and cherish those good old days forever.
It’s early Christmas morning as I write this, and believe it or not, this game will forever be connected to Christmas. 24 years ago, in late December of 1992, my mom bought me King of the Monsters on the Super Nintendo. It was the first game she ever bought for me without first conferring with my brother. And it took something of a Christmas miracle to pull it off, so you can see my nostalgic desire to write about this game on this day. Sure, the SNES port was butchered. But the memories of this game live on to this very day. It was not only the first SNES game my mom ever bought for me but it was also one of the earliest arcade games I can remember experiencing. In fact, I remember it as if it only happened yesterday… *cue fuzzy flashback sequence*
***SOME TIME IN MID 1991***
The 2nd* arcade game I can remember playing was at Safeway with my brother, Kevin. It was like any other typical Tuesday night in the old neighborhood. The year was 1991. My bro and I tagged along with our dad to the local grocery store, doing our best to convince pops to buy us those delicious dinosaur fruit snacks. And if we were lucky, the WWF ice cream bars as well. We would be ecstatic if pops caved in to even just one of them. On this trip, no such luck however. We made our way to the end of a very long line. Kevin and I weren’t exactly the best behaved kids in the history of kids. Neither of us could stand still to save our lives. Unknowingly, it was a cunning strategy, for we spotted an arcade cab nearby in the corner where they sell the coal. Pops was more than happy to oblige, plopping two quarters in our hands, in exchange for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Off to the races we disappeared like two chalky ghosts in the night.
*The first arcade game I played was Street Fighter II.
When we arrived at the cab, I gazed up in amazement like it were the Sistine Chapel. What an amazing sight the Neo Geo MVS cab truly was. These were machines that housed four different SNK arcade games. I remember seeing Sengoku, a side scrolling beat ‘em up. But when I saw King of the Monsters for the first time ever, I knew I had found my match. It pitted six giant monsters against one another in a duel to the death. My brother and I were instantly sold. He picked the Ultraman clone, Astro Guy, while I chose the Godzilla lookalike, Geon. We played the tag team bedlam mode, which allowed me and my brother to team up simultaneously to rampage against two computer foes. Being an avid fan of Godzilla and monsters, I found myself enamored. My brother and I couldn’t shut up about it on the car ride home. That night I fell in love with King of the Monsters.
***DECEMBER 1991***
Chuck E. Cheese’s was an awesome place for a kid to be
December 1991. My parents took me and my brother to our favorite place, Chuck E. Cheese’s, to celebrate the end of the year. My mother was rather strict so these rare opportunities where she allowed us to binge on our desires were not taken for granted! They ordered two large pizzas and got us 50 tokens. I knew where I was going to be for the rest of that night — at the King of the Monsters cab determined to beat it! It took me some time and way too many quarters to count but at last I did it, all while my mom sat back at the table eating unwanted leftover pizza crust and watching the whole thing go down.
This only took me an hour and about 500 quarters
I stepped back, drenched in sweat from wrestling with the joypad, and stared back at my mom who sat there smiling. I looked back at the arcade to watch the ending. My boy Rocky destroyed the news studio as a wide grin formed on my kisser. I recall thinking to myself, “I can’t wait for this to come home on the SNES!”
***DECEMBER 1992***
There was a certain magic in the air that night…
My mom and I used to go to the mall all the time. It was one of our traditions. She took me after school every Friday, rain or shine. I loved it because this was a time in life when the world was a different place. Even as young as 8, my mom allowed me to hit up my stores while she went shopping for clothes. This gave me a great sense of independence and for about 30 minutes I was on my own completely! I always visited Suncoast, Kay Bee Toys, Walden Books, Sam Goody, and of course, the classic SOFTWARE ETC.
Now rarely did she ever end up buying me anything once we reconvened, but that was never the point. It was fun enough thumbing through books, EGM magazines and drooling at the various action figures. It was the feeling that it produced. Just knowing you were on your own for half an hour made going to the mall a fun time. But the best times always came during Christmas season.
That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago…
The mall Santa was there taking pictures, kissing babies and shaking little hands. At nine and a half years old now, I was too old for that stuff, but not old enough to not still believe in the magic of Christmas. So instead of sitting on Santa’s lap, I simply sat back from afar to admire what had been, and what once was.
My mom came over asking if I wanted to meet the mall Santa, but I told her I was too old. She looked at the kids rushing up to Santa just 20 feet away from us, lost in her thoughts. Somewhere in her aging face I saw her loosen up, as if she suddenly missed the days when I was that young scampering around. Perhaps it was the right kind of Christmas magic I’d need for what was about to transpire on that most magical December evening…
This was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!
There it was, plastered in big and bold blue letters. I always made it a point to hit up SOFTWARE ETC. each time we visited the mall. Of course, I could only dream of my mom complying to buy me a video game. Still, like a moth to flame, those bold blue letters always sucked me in. I stood there that evening in sheer awe of the endless shelves of SNES goodies — games in which I could only dream of owning. And then, there it was. High on the shelf I saw it, shining like a beacon of light. KING OF THE MONSTERS for the Super Nintendo! It was just one short year ago that I’d beaten the arcade and thought to myself, “Man, I can’t wait for this to come home!” And now, it finally has. Only one problem, of course. How can I convince mom to buy it? Standing there, staring at the pristine shiny King of the Monsters box, my mind desperately raced through everything I could think of in order to weigh the odds in my favor.
I didn’t have very long to think…
“C’mon honey, we gotta get back home now.”
“WAIT!”
“What is it?”
What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?
“That…” I pointed to the King of the Monsters box sitting on the top shelf. “I want that.”
OK, so much for poetic language and convincing arguments.
My mom gave me “the look.” Uh oh. In the history of “momkind” the look has never been good news. Whether it was a look of frustration, disappointment or disgust, the look has denied kids an untold number of desserts, toys and video games. This task, I could tell, was going to be about as easy as Quantum Physics.
“Honey, that’s fifty five dollars.”
“No, it’s fifty four ninety nine!” I quickly countered. HA! I thought I had her — ahh, the bliss of being nine years old…
“Well actually with tax it’s about sixty,” she corrected.
Well DAMN. Talk about backfiring!
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. My trump card. I explained to her how it was my favorite game, how I had to have it, and how much joy it would bring Kevin and me. And that if she bought it, it would count for not only my Christmas gift but also my birthday as well.
My mom grabbed the box to examine it closer. “Hey, isn’t this the game you played all night last year at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Is this the same one?”
It was just the right kind of Christmas magic needed
I nodded furiously and watched as my mom bit her lower lip, contemplating what to do. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she took the game to the counter. I stood there in awe watching as they swiped her credit card. It was the first video game she bought for me. Outside I could hear the chattering of youngsters and the HO-HO-HOs of the mall Santa. The Christmas season was ringing in full force, and this bit of Christmas magic only punctuated the moment. I couldn’t wait to get home and play it…
NOT QUITE THE KING…
Exactly. What could possibly go wrong? Well…
Right away we noticed there was no Player 1 and Player 2 vs. CPU 1 and CPU 2 option. In other words, there was no tornado tag team mode — hands down the best thing about the game.
Disappointment city right off the batBut hey, at least we’ll get all sixLove me some Poison GhostAnd really love me some Woo!Wait, WHAT THE ****!
The HELL?! What gives? Where was the King Kong wannabe, Woo? And what about the Smog Monster AKA Hedorah, where was his twin, Poison Ghost? So not only did Genki scrub the best mode of the game, but they also scrapped two of the six monsters. Man, was I disappointed.
But you know the funny thing? I was a kid and even I knew it was a pretty butchered port, but there was a big part of me that somehow managed to still enjoy it quite a bit. It was weird. So much of the game had been gutted, but it was still King of the Monsters in my living room. And, at the time, that accounted for something.
NOT JUST FLAVOR OF THE MONTH
Never leave home without it
In the early part of 1993, my mom took me to places like ROSS. I remember one time I brought the King of the Monsters manual with me. I walked up and down those aisles with my head buried in the booklet. As mediocre as the port was, I kind of became oddly semi-obsessed with it. Well, at least my mom got her sixty dollars’ worth, eh?
I studied the tactics over and over again…
THE STORY GOES…
THE OBJECTIVE
THE MONSTERS
GEON Special Attack: FLAME CRUSHER
When an ice glacier melted due to the abnormal warm weather in the Russian mountains, it unleashed the horror that is Geon. Unhappy to be roused from his deep slumber, he takes it out on anybody, or anything, that gets in his way. His hobbies include destroying cities and gobbling trains. The first character I selected, I have a soft spot for ol’ Geon. I tend to use him the most — his level 3 FLAME CRUSHER is quite a sight to behold.
No doubt a nod to the real King of MonstersA little horny, the git [… -Ed.]Level 1 Flame CrusherLevel 2 spirals for extra damageLevel 3 Flame Crusher, whoa!
ROCKY Special Attack: ROCKY BOMBER
No one knows for sure where this mountain of rocks comes from. Rumor has it Rocky is a monster evolved from the Sphinx, Egypt’s God of Protection. Others believe he descended from the stars, angry with the way 20th century mankind has mistreated the environment. But one thing is for sure, he’s got a nasty disposition! Don’t let this pile of stone fool you — how Rocky can move so well is a mystery. I like Rocky. He has a cool roar and was the monster I used to beat the arcade game 25 years ago. Guess we been through a lot over the years, eh, Rocko?
Clearly inspired by this guy. Or not
Delivers one hell of a running clothesline. Any wrestling fan would approve!
Level 1 Rocky Balboa, I mean, BomberLevel 2 rotates for extra velocity and powerLevel 3 has only four, but it’s still just as strong
BEETLE MANIA Special Attack: BEETLE MISSILE
An ordinary beetle residing in the Amazon, one fateful evening that all changed when the mad creature underwent a horrific and mysterious transformation. Lacking any kind of intelligence, he destroyed even the forest in which he was born! However, his skills are plenty. With a hard body shell and tremendous fighting spirit, Beetle Mania now roams the earth in search for the next great fight. Unfortunately it comes at the expense of civilization as we know it!
I thought it was deja vu…
Beetle Mania was clearly based off Godzilla’s 1973 nemesis, Megalon. Like many others in the Godzilla universe, I too am a fan of the “one hit bug wonder.” It’s too bad he wasn’t resurrected for Godzilla: Final Wars like how his battle mate Gigan was, but I digress. I always found Megalon’s suit really cool.
Well, so much for Geon being a dadLevel 1 Beetle MissileLevel 2 — love that elegant green hueLevel 3 Beetle Missile (that’s a lot of antlers!)
ASTRO GUY Special Attack: FLASH WAVE
Holding the distinct claim of being the only, uh, human, to a certain degree you understand, Astro Guy originally started out as a mad scientist. Naturally, through experimentation he transformed himself into a super musclebound creature to fight the monsters suddenly appearing all over the world. What began as noble intentions to protect cities and rid the world of monsters was soon corrupted by the absolute allure of having no equal. Now what his true intentions are is anyone’s guess…
SPECTREMAN!
Obviously inspired by SPECTREMAN! Ah, the tin wonder played a role in my childhood. I remember how bulky the cases were for the Spectreman tapes. It really caught your eye on the video store shelf. My dad bought me the one where he battles both an Alien and the “Monster Hedgehog.”
I got the bottom left one. Such weird movies they were!
The theme song was the best part
Spectreman… Spectreman…
In a flash, like a flame, faster than a plane, a mystery with a name,
Spectreman!
Power from space, he’ll save the human race, yet, they’ll never know the face of Spectreman!
We will never know the source of his powers and his force as he guides this planet’s course…
Spectreman!
And Jet Jaguar!And of course, UltramanDoes one mean basement dropkickLevel 1 Flash Wave. Just like Ultraman…Level 2 sees an upgrade to fiveLevel 3 has nine! Nice
THE GAME
You battle each monster twice. In the arcade this meant a grueling 12 rounds. At home it’s a much more manageable 8. And this is the only time I’m happy to see four monsters instead of the full six. Stage 1 is home to Geon, but since we’ve seen it already (see the screenshots above), let us jump straight to stage 2 where we take on Rocky.
The levels are based off real landmarks
As a kid I thought the stages were randomly constructed. Years later I came to realize they’re based on real life landmarks. Nice.
Osaka is gorgeous, isn’t it?
Yes, some of these towering skyscrapers can be seen, and destroyed, in the two Osaka stages. With Okayama having no tall buildings really, switching over then to Osaka was a very welcome sight.
Just another homage, really
Ooooh, ahhhhJust like ‘em SOCK ‘EM robots!
“Alright gentlemen. We went over the rules in the back but just to reiterate, I want a good clean fight, alright? That means no zapping below the belt. Remember, I’m fair but firm. Let’s touch gloves!”
Monsters love to play hide and seek too, apparently. Or hide and maul, as it were.
What’s better than a piledriver?Sending ‘em through a building!
Nothing was better than hitting a big move on your opponent and watching the poor hapless sap go crashing through one of the big monuments scattered about. Sure, you can demolish the big buildings with three punches yourself, but the real fun comes in the form of sending your rival through one!
Such a chivalrous gentleman, that Astro Guy
Adding insult to injury was always fun.
Wham, bam, thank you m’am
The classic GET UP severed hand remains. Continue and experience a jolt of power as your monster gets resurrected.
Tokyo Tower beautifully replicated!The throw inflicts the least amount of damageBut can easily send them through a landmark!
Indeed you are not, Hideki-san
THE END ?
UNH, JUST THROW IT ON ME, UNH!
Battleships are fair playDoes little damage but fun to do nonethelessJump and grab a helicopterYou can also chuck the maser tanks
CHEAP TRICKS
[Hey, they stole your dating philosophy -Ed.]Hit them with the strongest move in the game — the german suplex.
“What’s so cheap about this?”
For some ridiculous reason, this move leads to a re-dizzy. You can repeat this tactic 20 times in a row. No joke. Did someone not play test this thing? One might be thinking, “Well it must be pretty hard to dizzy them, right?” Not so. A few consecutive throws with their health bar on low does the trick. They get up in a daze, go behind them and press Y. Boom, german suplex. Then wait for them to get back up in a daze yet again, and repeat. For ultimate damage, while they’re on laying on the ground, unleash your special attack. Sometimes you can nail them twice with your projectile. Yikes.
The german suplex can also be applied in front during a grapple by pressing Y+B. But when your opponent is dizzy, simply pressing Y or B from behind works.
But hold on a second, if you thought THAT was cheap…
Unlike a fighting game, you can’t block
No blocking means you’re screwed
There’s only one answer to this, besides your opponent mistiming it. The Japanese military finally notches a small victory against giant rubber suited monsters!
GENKI RESPONDS
Hey thanks, Genki. Appreciate it. I hope you’re not just sucking up…
Genki dude:Of course not… oh, here’s some fruitcake — for you!
O_o
Genki dude:Uh the holidays, sir.
Ahhh. Si, si…
MISCELLANEOUS
Feel like it’s Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon all over again! Hmmm, come to think of it, seeing Godzilla and his buddies in a King of the Monsters universe would have been pretty cool. Imagine Godzilla and company in this style of game. I’m sure we would have ate it up! Well, at least we got Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen.
Rocky’s bite animation always reminded me of the robot bloke on the NES Mega Man 3 cover! You see the resemblance, don’t cha?
Speaking of resemblances…Whoa, striking, isn’t it?
Credit this wonderful art here to Nathan Newell and his excellent cool site nathansmuscleblog.blogspot.com/
That’s Black Hole Sunshine vs. Wood Beetle for the record, but damn do Rocky and Beetle Mania look like them!
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Pretty decent looking ad, at least
It was all quiet on the western front. The game was released just before GameFan’s time and EGM only ran a quick one page preview. They ended up never reviewing it. Super Play rated it 79% though an actual review never appeared in the magazine. SNES King of the Monsters just never got much publicity. If only it did then maybe I wouldn’t have been so caught off guard with all the cuts!
I remember reading this little blurb over and over
GENESIS VS. SNES VERSIONS
Which port is better? I’ve never played the Genesis port but it does look damn impressive. Looks much more identical to its arcade brother than the SNES port does. How it plays though I have no idea. Released about one year after the SNES port, the tag team mode and two monsters are still missing, but everything else looks to be pretty good. Check the graphical differences between the Genesis and SNES ports below.
I’ll take this over the eight small fireballsLooking nice there, Astro GuyLooks painful! Shame, Genki, shameSound off below if you’ve played the Genesis port
GameFan gave the Genesis port some good loving with scores of 89, 87, 83 and 82%. “It blows the doors off the SNES version” and “makes it look like dog meat” were some of the comments recorded. The Genesis port was developed by SPS.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
King of the Monsters? More like King of the Mediocre
The arcade original was released by SNK in Japan on February 25, 1991. By freak accident, exactly 15 years later, I bought the SNES port (for the second time but this time with my own money). Back in ’92 I recall having a strange fascination with the port despite my knowledge of how butchered it was. Replaying the SNES port in 2006, I wondered how much my opinion might change or not. Turns out not much has. It’s a port that was stripped of its best feature and a whopping 33% of its original cast. It should have been so much better, but what remains is kind of still King of the Monsters. It was never a perfect game to begin with. Some key aspects missing definitely accentuate the flaws but what’s left isn’t unplayable by any means. You just have to take it for what it is, or simply leave it. Still, I couldn’t help but enjoy playing it for 15-20 minutes. Perhaps if nothing else but for the nostalgia of that unforgettable Christmas 1992 season. I acknowledge this game is ho-hum at best, but it is admittedly something of a guilty pleasure for me.
Always a gentleman, that Astro Guy
The graphics are the best part of this game. Though grainy and lacking intricate detail in the monsters themselves, the cities look pretty fantastic, especially the ones at night. Each stage gives you plenty of space to roam within the confines of two electrical barriers. Sound and music is decent, fitting for this game which has a Japanese 1960’s B-Movie feel to it. Sadly, it’s the game play that abandons it. What could have been! First, the grapple system. Is it based on timing? No. Button mashing? Not that either. Nope, it appears that the victor is totally random. And thus, grappling is a wash and never feels wholly satisfying. Secondly, to win a match you must score a 3 count on your rival. But in order to do so, you must pin them multiple times after their health bar has been fully depleted. Let’s say you pound on Rocky for three minutes solid once his energy bar has hit zero before going for the cover. He’ll still kick out at 2 (in John Cena fashion). What gives? It makes no sense to have to pin them several times every single time. It’s rigged to be like this, and it feels incredibly cheap. You should be rewarded for kicking the snot out of them, but you’re not. And then you have the two erroneous gameplay tricks as documented earlier, in addition to the missing tornado tag team mode and monsters.
O, where art thou?
Speaking of the monsters, and this by the way was prevalent in the arcade game as well, the monsters are exactly the same! Well, aside from their special move and rushing attack. No differences in strength, speed, agility, or any of that good stuff. The moveset is severely limited — you’re relegated to a throw, german suplex, pile driver and a bear hug or a bite hold in a grapple. How cool would it be if the monsters had their own unique moves, to go along with speed and strength differences?
Love the Japanese ’60s B-Movie feel
Yet despite all these glaring flaws, I still kind of like the game in some small ways. Call it nostalgia, call it what you want, but there are some games you just have a connection with (for better or for worse). Though they’re far from being great, or even good, you still play them once in a blue moon because in some strange and small way you enjoy doing so. We all have a few games for which that rings true. Nobody can say exactly why someone would like it, except for that person, and that person alone. Yeah, part of me is still annoyed that Woo and Poison Ghost are nowhere to be found and that the tag mode was scrapped, but like a good longtime friend you accept them for who they are, warts and all.
Are you a sadistic and bloodthirsty game player? Do you enjoy partaking in the odd boisterous barbaric brutality? If you answered yes, then you sir probably enjoy the classic beat ‘em up genre. The SNES is loaded with them. Take control of the Lee brothers, the Battletoads, ninjas, knights, hell, even Batman! Final Fight was the very first to hit the SNES and helped pave the way for others to come. It’s hard to believe it’s now been over 25 years since it came out. It’s amazing how so many of our childhood favorites have been celebrating 20, 25 and even 30 year anniversaries in the past year or so. These games keep getting older, but our memories remain!
By the way, talk about a funky box art. I imagine their dialogue like this:
“Are those skull earrings?”
“Why yes, Mommy got me them.”
“Cool, I have a pair just like that at home.”
“Yeah ain’t they great. They accentuate my scar!”
THE FIGHT BEGINS
Final Fight originated as an arcade in Japan (December 1989) and shortly made its way to the US at the turn of the 1990s. No, it wasn’t the first beat ‘em up ever, but it was one of the earliest and the first to hit the Super Nintendo. It will forever hold that distinction as #1… but is it truly number one, as in the best?
Let us take a closer look then…
FINAL FRIGHT: A HAUNTING TO REMEMBER
Not only was Final Fight the first beat ‘em up to hit the Super Nintendo, it also happened to be the second SNES game I had ever played. Way back in December 1991 on a cold and dreary morning while vacationing in beautiful Lake Tahoe. As documented in F-Zero, the first SNES game I ever played, I found myself home alone on a Sunday morning in a huge cabin that my family rented out. My family and friends left for breakfast while I was still asleep. My mom didn’t want to wake me up after a long night of hanging out with the guys so she decided to let me sleep in. The moment I woke up, I felt a chill and knew something wasn’t right. The cabin was right out of a horror movie, with demonic looking hallways and weird noises hissing everywhere as though it were a real breathing entity. The cabin was freezing too! I crept downstairs and found a note from my mom explaining why she let me sleep in, and telling me to make some Honey Nut Cheerios. But food was the last thing on my mind!
Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold, dreary December morning of 1991. But being 8 years old and resourceful, I believed spirits would not mess with me if I had the radio or TV turned on — any kind of noise. I believed they only attacked those who were alone. So I turned on the TV and watched a WWF show for a while. Then I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. It suddenly dawned on me that this was my chance! With all the “cool” older kids gone, little ole me could finally have a turn. I started with F-Zero and then played Final Fight until my family and friends came back. Sure, part of me was ecstatic to see them again — I was no longer the lone prisoner trapped inside this cabin from hell — but something funny happened during my inaugural playthrough with the SNES. It made me forget about evil spirits and instead transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. And it was nothing short of magic.
Damn, can’t believe it’s now been 25 years since that fateful December morning. For more details, check out My Super Nintendo Genesis.
THE STORY GOES…
“Forget GUY, it’s just you and me, old-timer!”
How dare you accuse Capcom of milking a series!OK you might have a point there…
Yes, there is an option mode but you had to do this code to activate it first. With Extra Joy on, your special move is just “A” instead of “Y” + “B” — hey, every little bit of help counts, right?
Nope, but damn can they fight… observe!
MIKE HAGGAR
Haggar has perfected his German Suplex to a tee, ramming his victim head first into the canvas. That’ll give them something to remember you by! Er, that is, if they are still conscious…
Pick their sorry carcass up, give them a few headbutts and send them packing with a smooth piledriver. Simple but effective combo.
Sometimes you just need a little space. In such instances, employ the devastating spinning clothesline. It’ll teach the bastards a thing or two about personal space!
Did you know you can punch twice then immediately throw them? Just hold up or down on the control pad while you’re delivering your punches. I never knew about this back in the day! It completely makes the game a much easier (and more enjoyable) experience. It turns you into a lethal, efficient killing machine.
CODY
Cody’s knuckle sandwich combo. Want fries with that?
For major damage and a sick looking combo, jump in with a downward strike, punch them three times and polish it off with a shoulder throw. +10 for style, +100 if you knock out some other baddies on the opposite side too!
Cody’s Spiral Kick makes the Lee brothers proud
MAP QUEST
Starting out in the classic slum, march your way through crime-ridden Metro City in five different war zones. Yes, the arcade had six. But more on that a bit later…
PUTS THE “FINAL” IN FINAL FIGHT…
Who could ever forget Final Fight‘s perilous continue screen?
It’s OK… you certainly weren’t alone… *evil grin*Ah quit yer bitching. I like to cut it close, “BUDDY”
STAGE ONE — THE SLUM
So, what’s one to do?Extend the olive branch!
Maybe Haggar’s got some candy there, or money. You know, the homeless epidemic has really hit Metro City hard as of late…
[Or maybe Haggar is offering him a black eye -Ed.]
There’s that, too…
“That’s the last time I buy deodorant at Dollar Tree…”What’s inside is enTIREly a mystery
Sorry, that was pretty bad. Knock over tires or drum cans to reveal items for extra points, weapons or food to replenish your health. I wonder who puts it there? I guess every major crime lord has a little bit of heart in them after all…
Whoa, that’s harsh. Come on, it’s almost 2017!“YOU WANT SOME? COME GET SOME!”They never learn, do they?“I’m warning you — step back, bitches!”
OH CRAP! Surrounded by a group of petty thugs, what’s a guy to do in this ruthless day and age?!
Yup, they never learn
Connecting on your special move takes away a small portion of your health, but it’s the right call when surrounded. Otherwise, you’ll most likely be on the receiving end of a gang attack and lose significantly more energy than you would had you used your special move at the first sign of trouble.
Uh oh…
Haggar can only toss the knife while Cody can actually hang onto it for a bit and go MICHAEL MYERS up in this mutha! Cool little touch to further differentiate the two. If you’re playing as Cody and wish to launch the knife, then simply hold down. Sweet.
“Here, fatty fatty…”Very similar range of motion
Much love and respect to baseball pitchers. It’s such an unnatural throwing position and why so many pitchers have jacked up shoulders. By the way, it’s a little known fact that Mike Haggar was the MVP of the Metro City Maniacs* — a softball recreational league that plays ball every other summer. *Complete and utter BS.
Talk about the wrong side of town…*whistles* “Damn you look fine today, Mike!”
Say hello to the first boss, Damnd! Er I mean, Trasher. Damn that censorship, pun intended.
At any rate, Damnd is a bit of a puss who prefers calling on his lame lackeys to do the fighting for him. His trademark sit and whistle makes the seamless leap over to the SNES port. At opportune times, Damnd will try to blindside you, the gutless git!
“Come at me, bro!”Most dramatic death ever
“UGH!”
“That’s right! Shouldn’t have messed with me, pal!”
Hey, he did minor in acting
“How could I lose to a guy in the middle of a mid-life crisis!?”
“HEY! SHHHH! Keep that on the down low, will ya!”
Damnd crumples over
“Damnd bastard! Throwing shade at me huh? This serves you right!”
“Trump woulda killed me anyway!”
“Jeez would you go on and die already!?”
STAGE TWO — THE SUBWAY / PARK
I’ve always loved the rumbling sound effect here
El Gado with the ol’ reliable KIDNEY PUNCH.
… and Hags with the even more reliable sword slash!
Check out how deceptively deep this game is. Yup, when timed right, you can deflect the enemy’s projectiles. Sure, you could just sidestep it, but we all know one universal truth: REAL MEN DROPKICK!
That you are, El GadoCue that audience “ooooh” soundtrackPublic transportation: making the world a better placeI guess he never grew up in a big family…Sodom, er, Katana is a very lethal and agile bossAndore in the front row. I’ll deal with him later…
BONUS ROUND
WHOAAA OHHHHH!
WHOAAA OHHHHH!
We’re not gonna take it! No! We ain’t gonna take it! We’re not gonna take it anymooooooore!
NO WAY!
“WE’RE FREE, WE’LL FIGHT, YOU’LL SEEEEE!!”
Ah, you gotta love Twisted Sister. Their cult song “We’re Not Gonna Take It” became something of a rebellious cry for teenagers and young adults in the mid ’80s with its never-say-die, take-no-BS mantra. In some circles it became the anthem of a generation more than 30 years ago.
Oh my car indeed
STAGE THREE — WESTSIDE
Haggar, you don’t like very many things do you?
Forgot to RSVP? As long as you didn’t forget how to pull off a dropkick, you’re good to go.
Gado isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer *rimshot*Cody pops in for a special cameo like only he canThey told him don’t you ever come around hereSO BEAT IT! But you want to be bad…These two Andores are the sub-bosses of Westside
Speaking of Andore, the big beefy goons in beat ‘em ups were always my favorite kind of enemies to fight. Abobo was an actual boss while Andore is a top-tier regular enemy. I have a soft spot for bad guys who aren’t quite boss-worthy, but are much tougher than all the other regular bad guys. Whenever I think “beat ‘em up baddies,” Andore and Abobo are the first two I always think of.
J moonlights as a Streets of Rage baddie… it’s true
There ya go Haggar! Now you got the rhythm down!Meet Metro City’s corrupt police force!Beware his Billy Club…
STAGE FOUR — BAY AREA
“WOOF!”
“Cute dog.”
“Hey Haggar!”
“What? Have I taken one too many blows to the head? Doggie, YOU TALKIN’ TO ME?”
“You’re lucky! Capcom took out a WHOLE stage to make life easier for ya, and for them as well! You know, less programming on their part.”
“Don’t let the mustache fool you. I don’t play that…”
Nobody did bathroom scenes better than Capcom. Remember Birdie’s stage from Street Fighter Alpha 2? It’s always a riot to beat up bad guys against a grimy and dodgy looking backdrop! This is FINAL FIGHT after all, not friggin’ ballet!
Capcom certainly knew how to work their restroomsYeah let’s not piss off the angry maniac, no?
BONUS ROUND
Smash several glass windows in succession. It’s a lot tougher than breaking the car. Who knew glass could be harder to demolish than a car? Oh those silly Capcom hipsters.
STAGE FIVE — UPTOWN
What a macho lot we are“Curse my bloody mid-life crisis!”Neither of them are too smart…Boys will be boys!They don’t really hide in the hedges. Just a glitchShouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City High…[Gee, thanks for the helpful tip, Einstein! -Ed.]Another flunky glitch
Watch out for the shattered glass. See what happens? OH CRAP, HAGGAR’S LEGS! It proves that broken glass isn’t safe at all. [Maybe you shouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City Community College -Ed.]
This ain’t his first barbeque — quite literally
Or even better, if you could pick your own pathThat ain’t right…
Say hello to the final boss, Belger. He must be real happy to see Haggar, because he’s got a second arrow gun hiding in his pocket there…
Jessica has no eyes. Damn, Haggar with them freaky genes. Belger is a handful, but you can actually grab and throw him consecutively if timed and positioned correctly.
A neat touch. Belger really only cares about himself
[Hmmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.]
‘TIL THEN I WAAALK ALONE
It doesn’t take much for a lady to be… persuasive
ARCADE VS. SNES COMPARISON
Guy is missing in the SNES port
Fans of Guy were bummed out to find he was nowhere to be found in the SNES port. Capcom then released Final Fight Guy on the SNES in July 1994. This version allowed you to play as Guy but Cody was taken out and there’s still no simultaneous 2 player mode. What the hell, Capcom? Shame on you.
We hardly knew ya, two player mode *sniff*
More disappointing than losing Guy was losing the 2 player mode. Early beat ‘em ups like Rival Turf proved it was possible. Even with one player, Final Fight occasionally slows down to a crawl at certain points. Capcom didn’t quite yet master the ins and outs of the SNES in 1991, but as we all know, they soon would in the years to come.
Arcade original
Elevators were modified. You don’t actually see your character ride through the elevator in the SNES port.
Metro City ought to look decayed and decrepit
Obviously the SNES could only replicate so much of the arcade. Of all the little details I personally missed the rundown jagged wooden set piece there. Baddies remain the same for the most part though, sans one major change. But more on that later.
“Excuse me sir, do you by chance have any Mentos?”
SNES couldn’t have the word “SEXY” sprawled across their bathroom doors, could they? Instead, they have the word “kiss.” Come on, Capcom! At least change it up completely. How about something like “Mad Gear rules!” Sure, it’s super generic, but it’s still a lot better than just “kiss.”
Three is a crowd in the SNES port
The SNES port sees a maximum of three baddies onscreen at any one time. The arcade had as many as eight! Obviously, you can’t expect much on this end. There were many 16-bit beat ‘em ups that maxed out at three bad guys.
The lost stage
Here’s the missing fourth stage: the Industrial Zone. It’s very tough and I’m fine without it, but it does lose points for pure authenticity. Oh, see the scantily clad broad there?
“Ch-ch-ch-changes!”
Roxy and Poison were way too controversial for Nintendo of America, so Capcom altered it to be this lame looking bloke instead. Sid and Billy, sorry to say this but y’all just weren’t the same.
Rolento did show up in Final Fight 2, though
Rolento, being the boss of the scrapped Industrial Zone, is also MIA.
Belger returned as a zombie in Final Fight Revenge
Belger didn’t change much in the SNES port. Though in the arcade he actually had a wheelchair while in the SNES port it looked more like a mobile love seat, which would suit Jessica just fine I’m sure [OH LORD! The images… AHHH! -Ed.]
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Being one of the earliest SNES releases, some critics were kind enough to overlook its deficiencies. Many fans, however, were not as forgiving.
EGM: 8,7, 7, 7
Super Play: 86%
“Yeah, don’t be so Damnd harsh!”
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“UHH… any one of you boys happen to be BIGDICK69?”
The Super Nintendo port of Final Fight is undoubtedly flawed. No 2 player mode, no Guy, an entire missing stage and only up to three enemies on the screen at any one time. It sounds like a lot is missing but when you actually play it, it still comes off a quality beat ‘em up. The gameplay is still there and when you consider this was one of the earliest SNES releases, the whole thing somehow manages to come off as impressive. Those visuals were mind blowing back in 1991. You had to see it 25 years ago to truly appreciate it. I mean, the characters were HUGE for the time, and I remember thinking to myself, “Where the hell is the coin slot?” As kids obviously we didn’t know any better. Nowadays it’s easy to see what the shortcomings are, but for an early launch game Final Fight impressed. The sound effects had a nice crunch to them and it did bring a lovely arcade feel home to our living rooms.
Rest In Peace, Guy
For all of its shortcomings, Final Fight still plays remarkably well. Compared to other SNES beat ‘em ups that came out later, Final Fight plays as well if not better than a good handful of them. It’s one of those weird games that you kind of have to grade on a bit of a curve. Viewed strictly in a bubble of its release date — September 1991 — this was a quality product, despite the missing elements. It’s not the first SNES beat ‘em up I reach for when I’m in the mood to kick some 16-bit ass, but I have to admit I do enjoy playing it still to this day because the gameplay has held up 25 years later. If it had a 2 player mode it would earn an even better score but as is, it’s still pretty good. Hardcore anal fans need not apply, however. This one ain’t for you. For the rest of us, you could play far worse beat ‘em ups on the Super Nintendo than Final Fight.
My favorite TV show growing up was The Wonder Years. One of my favorite episodes from that show was “A Very Cutlip Christmas.” As I write this, it’s Christmas Eve 2016. I’m reminded of this excellent episode which I’m replicating below.
Following the episode recap, I’ll share a story of my former 8th grade language arts teacher, Ms. Haas. In a lot of ways, Ms. Haas and Coach Cutlip reminded me of each other. These are stories about peer pressure, standing up for what you believe in, and the indomitable human spirit.
I hope you enjoy.
Merry Christmas!
-Steve
A VERY CUTLIP CHRISTMAS
When you were a kid, it’s simple. Christmas IS magic
It’s a time of miracles. When reindeer can fly and Frosty never melts.
Then you get older. Somehow… things change. The magic begins to fade.
Until something happens that reminds you… at Christmas time, miracles still can be found. Sometimes in the most unexpected places.
Ed Cutlip. Better known as Coach Cutlip to his students at RFK. He was a robotic man who rarely showed any kind of emotion, and worked a relentless whistle. It was December of 1970. He was Scrooge in a baseball cap.
“In my grasp, I have a message from Richard Millhouse Nixon. Our chief executive has entrusted me, as a physical educator, to see that you men are AT or ABOVE the national average. Over the next several days, we will be doing chin-ups, pushups, situps, shuttle runs and more. You men will be ready for the President’s All-American National Athletic Test.”
After a grueling workout, the guys were talking in the locker room.
“Man, if only we had some dirt to take down Cutlip!” Tommy said.
A sweaty Doug croaked, “The man’s a monster!”
One thing’s for sure, Coach Cutlip was certainly lacking the holiday cheer.
Later that day my mom took me to the Brightland Mall. All around me I saw blatant cheap Christmas consumerism. What happened? Then, I heard it.
“HO HO HO!”
I looked over my shoulder and saw the mall Santa. There, a long line full of little kids awaited their turn patiently. In its own tacky way, it reminded me of what I had been missing.
But as I was sitting there, a funny feeling overcame me. Why did the mall Santa seem so familiar? And then it hit me…
It was CUTLIP!
Likewise, he spotted me. He jumped up, embarrassed, and ran to his shack for cover. It was horrible. It was BEYOND horrible. The first time I had seen a teacher outside school, he was stuffed with a pillow.
The next day at school I tried to block out the disturbing images. Luck be my lady, who bumped into me in the hallway?
“Ah, morning Arnold.”
I looked up at him, trying to read his expression. Had he really seen me at the mall, and did I really see him? I decided to engage in some small talk with the man.
“So, how are we?”
“Good. Yourself?”
“Great.”
He wasn’t even looking at me. His eyes were trained on a clipboard as he jotted down some notes casually.
“Any, uh, adventures since I last saw you, Arnold?”
“Um, no, not really. Well, I did go shopping at the Brightland Mall…”
Cutlip shot up like a jack in the box. “Oh?”
“Uh huh.”
“Never been there myself. I don’t get out that far.”
*Bell rings*
“See you in gym, Arnold.”
And with that, he walked away. Wow, maybe I imagined the whole thing at the mall. Was this just one big miscalculation? Feeling full of holiday cheer, I shouted “Merry Christmas sir!”
Then he turned around. And right then, it hit me.
There were moments in my life which I regretted. I knew this was one of those moments.
That day in gym, I knew it was D-Day. I KNEW TOO MUCH. He was going to lash out on me, make me his whipping boy.
In his typical firm manner, Coach Cutlip called me out during gym class.
“Kevin Arnold.”
I cautiously walked toward him, with all my classmates watching. “Yes sir?”
“Why don’t you keep time?” he handed me his stop watch, smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder like a father figure.
And then I realized… KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!
But my friends — that was another matter. While I had it made, they were sweating and suffering. After class, they called me a turncoat, a teacher’s pet, even worse — “Cutlip in training.”
I knew they were right. There was only one thing to do.
“I have to tell you something, Mr. Cutlip.”
“Please, call me Ed.”
But before I could go on, he offered me a piece of paper.
“What’s this?”
“It’s my personal permission slip, you don’t have to take the National Athletic test.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want to be your time keeper. I don’t want to sit out. I –“
“Say no more,” he interrupted sternly. He came close to my face. “I see how it is, Arnold. I played a little ball in my life, too. I’ll see you in GYM.”
He ripped the note into pieces. And that was that.
Later that week, I was going off on Cutlip during lunch time with the guys.
“He’s making my life a mess, just because I saw him working at the Brightland Mall!”
Doug perked up. “Cutlip works at the Brightland Mall?”
Before I could say anything, a girl passed me a note.
I sat there at his mercy. I had no idea what kind of torture I was in store for. I saw him reaching in his desk. He was going to pull out a knife, a bat, or possibly a gun.
“Here, have some fruitcake”
“Huh?”
“20 percentage employee discount. You know, Arnold, to a man who’s devoted his entire life to public education, the opportunity to buy whole sale is nothing to laugh about. HAHAHAHA.”
“May I go now?”
“Wait, that’s not the only reason I’m working at the mall. My mother — Esther Cutlip. If it weren’t for my help there’s no telling what kind of catatonic state the woman might fall into.”
“… That’s nice, sir.”
I wanted the bell to ring, the fire alarm, an earthquake, anything…
“Tell me Kevin… have you ever been inside a Santa outfit?”
OH GOD
This was reaching critical mass!
“It’s hot, and it’s SWEATY.”
I couldn’t take it any longer. “STOP! I don’t want your fruitcake, or hear about your mother. It’s none of my business! I’m not gonna tell anyone you work at the mall so let’s just drop it, OK?”
I had enough. I was sick of this game. I headed for the door. And then…
“Arnold… kids like me when I’m Santa…“
And right then, for the first time, I saw the man as a human being. Not a great human being, maybe not even a good human being, but a very lonely human being.
“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me, Mr. Cutlip.”
Going home on the bus that day, I was feeling pretty good. Until I saw Doug, Tommy and Randy anyhow. I had already spilled the beans.
“C’mon Kevin, where does he work? Orange Julius?”
“Forget it, I’m not gonna say.”
“That’s cool… we’ll just go look for him. How hard can it be?”
Were these guys serious or what! I knew what I had to do…
“What are you doing here, Arnold? You’re not going to sit on my lap are you?”
“No!”
“Good, because you know you’re too old, right?”
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“I kinda slipped and told some guys you work at the mall. They’re coming to look for you any minute now. I think you better just hide out in your shack until this whole thing blows over.”
In the distance I saw the wolf pack marching over“No can do, Arnold”
“What?”
“Let them come if they must. I AM WHO I AM.”
With that, he stood up tall and proud. I’ll always remember that look on his face.
He was at once heroic…
… and stupid
“Move along, Arnold.”
I made my way to the guys, helpless, outnumbered.
And then, it happened.
First, Doug stared directly into the eyes of the man who had taught him gym for three long years.
Cutlip proudly stared back
Then Randy and Tommy looked long and hard.
Those three skeptics gazed straight into the eyes of Coach Cutlip not thirty feet away.
But all they saw…. was Santa Claus.
“C’mon guys, let’s keep looking,” Doug ordered
It was a miracle. He stood there like some patron saint. And for that brief moment of Christmas magic, Ed Cutlip got to be all that he ever wanted.
—
STANDING UP FOR MS. HAAS
It was Spring of ’97. I was in the 8th grade. Our language arts teacher Mr. Simon was replaced by Ms. Haas mid-year. Family matters forced Mr. Simon to move out of state. Everyone loved him. In retrospect, I guess Ms. Haas never stood a shot.
She was the strict, serious type while Mr. Simon was more of a big brother — goofy, fun and graded pretty easy. Ms. Haas on the other hand was a tough grader. She was in her mid 30’s but already had a balding spot which my classmates often poked fun at (behind her back, of course).
So, pretty much everyone hated her guts. I kinda liked her, though. Though she was a hard grader, she was fair. And I respected that. I respected HER.
One day during SSR (Silent Sustained Reading, which we had for 20 minutes) there was a note being passed around. I noticed each one of my classmates writing something down on that piece of paper. I was the last one to receive it.
It was a petition. A petition to fire Ms. Haas.
IF YOU WANT MS. HAAS REMOVED, SIGN HERE
There were 25 plus signatures. The kid sitting closest to me — Andre — noticed my hesitation to sign.
“C’mon man. Sign it already.”
I looked over at Ms. Haas sitting in the corner, reading a book. Had she noticed this piece of paper going around that demanded her immediate removal? She had a stoic look on her face, so I couldn’t tell, yet… she ALWAYS had a stoic look on her face… as though someone sucked the life out of her many many years ago.
I looked back at the petition. I skimmed through the signatures. According to my count, everyone had signed it. EVERYONE.
Except me.
Andre nudged me on the shoulder. “Yo man, you gonna sign it or what?”
I clearly recall to this day asking myself this question: “Does Ms. Haas deserve to be fired?”
To me, the answer was no, so… I put the pen down.
“Yo man, what are you doing?”
“I ain’t signing it.”
“What? Are you crazy? You actually like her?”
I glanced over to see if she had noticed this commotion. “She’s cool.”
“Man, you’re crazy,” he grimaced, snatching the petition away from me.
The rest of SSR I didn’t read. I kind of sat there with my eyes transfixed on the same paragraph, thinking about what just went down. I stood up for what I believed in. I wondered if Ms. Haas was aware at all that 97% of her students wanted her fired. I couldn’t tell from my vantage point, so I crumpled up a piece of paper as an excuse to get near her desk.
As I approached the wastebasket, I caught a glimpse of her face peeking right below her book. And what I saw that day I would never forget. Her eyes were red and watery. Ms. Haas was crying. She looked up to see me approaching and quickly wiped her eyes. I immediately looked away and hustled back to my seat, my crumpled paper still in hand.
After class (it was my last class of the day) my mom drove me home. I convinced her to drive me right back. I just had to pick up my boom box. At the time, Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” was a huge sensation, and I had the crazy notion that maybe, just maybe, it might cheer up Ms. Haas.
The campus was eerily quiet as I made a beeline toward Ms. Haas’ classroom around 3:30. As I entered, I saw her sitting at her desk in the corner. Her eyes were still red, and crumpled tissue paper could be seen strewn about her desk.
“Oh, hey Steve, what are you doing here?” she stammered. Ms. Haas was completely caught off guard.
And suddenly, so was I.
For a second there I didn’t know what to say! What was I doing back here? I figured then and there that I must have been a sight for sore eyes, boombox and all!
“I just wanted you to listen to this cool new song. I don’t know… I thought maybe you might like hearing it.” Wow, that came out smooth, Steve. Way to go.
By the way, looking back, I had no idea about the 1989 film Say Anything or the scene where John Cusack holds the boombox over his head to woo his crush. I guess from Ms. Haas’ perspective, she might have had an awkward flashback there… totally not my intent!
Ms. Haas gave me what could only be described as a perplexed half smile, completely unsure what to make of the situation. Plugging the cord into the socket, I pondered briefly about whether this whole thing was wise or not. Alas, there was simply no turning back now. I hit PLAY and stepped back, waiting for the track to begin. Needless to say, those 2-3 seconds felt like an eternity. I stared at the boombox on the ground, too shy to look up at Ms. Haas. She was probably doing the same. I’ll never know for sure, as I kept my eyes on that boombox for all dear life. At last the lyrics began filling Ms. Haas’ 8th grade classroom, wall to wall.
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin’ on the block for dough
Notorious they got to know that
Life ain’t always what it seem to be
Words can’t express what you mean to me
Even though you’re gone we still a team
Thru your family I’ll fulfill your dreams
In the future can’t wait to see if you’ll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it’s real feelings hard to conceal
Can’t imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin’ your life after death
At some point during the song I managed to muster the courage to look up and see Ms. Haas’ expression. She had a funny look on her face as the song continued on. The lyrics reverberated throughout the classroom.
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I’ll be missing you
By the time the song ended, you would never guess that Ms. Haas had been crying earlier that day at all.
“Oh my God,” she started. “This song… it was originally the Police’s…”
I didn’t get it. “The police owns this song?” I imagined donut-eating cops.
Ms. Haas chuckled.
“Steve, I’m going to date myself here but the Police was a band a good number of years ago led by a guy named Sting. In 1983 they had a smash hit called EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. The background music from that song, well, it’s exactly the same background as this new song!”
Ms. Haas went on tell me a story about how she grew up a HUGE fan of the Police. One time they came to her town and she and her best friend got tickets to the show. But a day before Ms. Haas got herself grounded. However, with the help of her best friend, a trusty rope and a two-story window, she managed to sneak out and make the show. It hit me right then and there that Ms. Haas was once vibrant, and full of life.
You’re a sneaky one, Ms. Haas!
Ms. Haas was human, too. Very human, in fact. More than we knew.
And right before my very eyes, Ms. Haas became full of life again. Her eyes sparkled as she regaled me with the greatest tale from her youth. And for those few couple minutes, I saw a side of Ms. Haas that no other 8th grader had ever seen before. Ms. Haas was not only smiling, the woman was practically beaming.
“I know it’s hard to believe, Steve, but trust me, in MY day I was quite the little rascal.”
We both shared a good chuckle. I left school that day with a completely brand new perspective of my 8th grade language arts teacher. Ms. Haas was more than Mr. Simon’s fill-in replacement. Ms. Haas was more than a strict educator in her mid 30’s, victimized by a premature balding spot. Ms. Haas was a woman who had seen the ups and downs of life. And for that, I respected her all the more.
The following week, Ms. Haas announced to the class that she was leaving. In a weird way, the 8th grade students got their wish after all, but I knew that Ms. Haas went out swinging on her own. It was her call, and hers alone. At least, that’s the way I like to think of it, and I’m sticking to my story, no pun intended. Of course, we were all leaving as well. We had four years of high school to look forward to. Everyone was moving on to the next chapter in their lives. It only seemed fitting. I remember looking at Ms. Haas that day as she made her announcement. She looked right back at me. There was no cliché Hollywood wink or gesture exchanged, but I know in my heart of hearts that Ms. Haas was finally at peace. And I know that we both said to each other, in our own unique and silent way, “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”
I still think about Ms. Haas from time to time and that fateful day I re-entered her classroom armed with a boombox and Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You.” Sometimes I wonder where Ms. Haas is today. I like to think she’s off somewhere, in her own little corner of the world, at peace. Perhaps she and her best friend are living next door, with their Sting posters proudly draped over their bedroom walls. Perhaps Ms. Haas is married now with a family to call her very own. Wherever she may be, I just hope she’s happy.
Teachers come and go. But a select few you never forget. Life lessons can come in a wide variety of forms. Ms. Haas taught me indirectly the importance of standing up for what you believe in. Even when everyone else is going in the other direction. The popular choice isn’t always the right choice.
Thank you, Ms. Haas.
This is dedicated to all the GREAT teachers out there!Sneaking out to concerts, eh? Rock on, Ms. Haas!
Man, Super Mario Kart. Where do I begin? The Super Nintendo is loaded with awesome games; my memories with this system run long and deep. Super Mario Kart not only ranks as one of the very best, but it also gave me and my gaming buds countless epic memories. It was a brilliant idea — take Mario, his chums and throw them in a crazy, zany go-kart world. It was instant Nintendo magic. And the rest, as they say, is history. As clearly evident by the success the Mario Kart franchise would go on to enjoy, Nintendo caught lightning in a bottle.
THE NIGHT IT CAME BACK HOME
THE RETURN OF SUPER MARIO KART
On April 9, 2006, I reacquired Super Mario Kart by trading my copy of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Limited Tin Edition). Only 40,000 were ever made. My girlfriend at the time bought it for me in 2004. Two years later, I turned it into Super Mario Kart, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time, Streets of Rage and Streets of Rage 2. The tin edition was going for roughly $25-$30 at the time. It goes to show you how great the retro gaming market was back in 2006. I made the deal with a nice guy off DigitPress. While I’m a big fan of the Halloween films, I couldn’t pass up on this golden opportunity to get four of my favorite childhood video games in one fell swoop.
Thanks for the steal, Mikey! Uh, we ARE cool, right?
THE NEW KINGS ON THE BLOCK
Super Mario Kart turned my bro and me into gods
It was 24 years ago that my brother and I made the best trade of our gaming lives. Exchanging Death Duel for Super Mario Kart instantly made us kings of our neighborhood. All the kids living nearby came flocking to our place weekend after weekend, month after month. Being the only ones who owned the game, our quaint little home morphed into a madhouse as we had friends coming and going nonstop. Even now, whenever I close my eyes and listen closely, I can still hear the incessant chiming of my childhood doorbell. As a kid I would lay there in bed on lazy Sunday mornings trying to enjoy my peace and quiet. No such chance of that. By 8:45 every Sunday morning, like clockwork, Ben and our other friends were banging down our door. We were truly the new kings on the block.
FLASHBACK TO CHRISTMAS 1992
Talk about turning chicken shit into chicken salad…
Christmas ’92 proved to be one for the record books. In addition to my mom buying me King of the Monsters, that same year our uncle bought us Death Duel. I remember the ad from EGM. It looked cool and all, but honestly, my brother and I were a bit disappointed. Of all the games on our wish list, Death Duel certainly wasn’t even in the top 20. We tried not to complain though as our mom always taught us to be grateful and that any gift was better than none at all. Still, Kevin and I went home that night talking about how awesome it would be if Death Duel magically transformed into Super Mario Kart instead (the game that topped our Christmas wish list). It was rare that my brother and I both wanted the same game — he was a “mainstream” guy while I was more fond of the obscure underdog titles. However, Super Mario Kart transcended all of that. It was just that kind of game.
Good thing my brother was still only 11 at the time!
And then, as we were talking, an epiphany struck us. We suddenly recalled the ad for Death Duel in EGM. We pulled out the latest EGM issue that we had bought weeks earlier and madly flipped through it in search of our great loophole. Ah, there it was. Not suggested for children under 14. I was only nine and my brother was 11. My brother wouldn’t be able to play Death Duel for another three years! And five for me! Not that we couldn’t break the rules but when the rules benefit you, why not follow them?
We struck gold
After showing the ad to our mom, just as we predicted she would, she promptly called our uncle to explain the situation and asked if he kept the receipt. Luckily, he did and since we hadn’t opened the game yet, it was ripe for a swap. So later that week my mom took me and Kevin to exchange Death Duel for Super Mario Kart. I remember thinking that it was the greatest trade in the history of mankind. I still laugh thinking about this Christmas memory. Who knew a silly ad could bring about such a dramatic turn of events?
Thanks a lot, EGM!
Rather ironic that I originally acquired Super Mario Kart via trade, and then 14 years later reacquired it by trade. I’m hanging onto my copy this time for sure!
Everybody was go kart racing
My brother and I played the crap out of Super Mario Kart that Christmas season and well into 1993. It was such an addicting game. My favorite character was Yoshi. My brother loved using Koopa. One of our friends, Ben, liked using Bowser or Donkey Kong Jr. Ben liked them most because they had the size to push others around. We were the only kids in the neighborhood who had Super Mario Kart, so our neighborhood friends were banging on our door like bloodthirsty zombies. I remember many Sunday mornings where the doorbell chime woke us up at 8:45! Kevin and I quickly became the kings of our block, all thanks to Super Mario Kart.
THE GO KART RACERS
I like the cancel / confirm choice
There are a total of eight racers, but really four different types. They come in four pairs which vary in terms of strengths and weaknesses.
Mario takes a break from stomping goombas, but this is hardly R&R! He’s sort of a jack of all but master of none type. He doesn’t have the highest top speed and his acceleration is only average. However, he doesn’t have any glaring weaknesses. Also, due to his slightly bulky build, he’s able to hold his own a little bit even when bumped by the heavyweights Bowser or Donkey Kong Jr.
The man who lives in the shadow of Mario. I always liked Luigi because I enjoy cheering for underdogs and sidekicks. He basically has the same abilities as Mario but he lacks the size to adequately counter a Bowser bump.
The damsel in distress is out to get hers! She’s top of the line when it comes to acceleration, but only average when it comes to top speed. Look at those demon-possessed eyes. Yeah, I would advise against cracking any sort of “kitchen barefoot” jokes here.
Yoshi has always been my go-to kart driver. Come on, a dinosaur in a go-kart? You just can’t beat that. The beauty (Princess) and the beast (Yoshi) share the same qualities and both are especially ideal for Donut Plains and the battle mode. On the flip side, they rather stink when it comes to Vanilla Lake.
For the first time ever, you can control one of gaming’s most iconic villains. I remember this being a huge deal in my gaming circle back in late ’92. Using a special customized XXL go-kart, Bowser is as nasty as ever. Because of his enormous size, he’s slow to accelerate but once he gets going, there’s NO stopping that immense momentum… until you bump into a barrier, that is. That’s gonna suck. A lot. But as far as top speed is concerned, Bowser is king.
Donkey can shove the competition aside and is the only one who can truly withstand the impact of a Bowser bump. Both struggle with Donut Plains and the battle mode, but they excel at Koopa Beach.
Koopa was my brother’s favorite back in the day. He lacks in top speed but makes up for it when it comes to control. Koopa steers corners extremely well, which means you can stay on the gas pedal a little longer than most other racers when rounding corners.
Toad is similar to Koopa but rumor has it Toad has the slight edge in terms of acceleration (being just a hair better… again, just a rumor). Both of them are cornering champions though and perform well particularly on Choco Island. But look out for Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr.!
THE GOODS
The mushroom is a classic, basic and useful card to have in your back pocket. When you’re at the beginning of a long straight path, or right before a jumping strip, press A to give yourself a short and sudden burst of speed. Remember using this to scream ¼ across the tracks of Ghost Valley 1, or Mario Circuit 2? It never gets old! ^_^
Ah, the green shell. The shell for real men. It shoots out straight, so that means you have to aim it with skill. Of course, some luck factors in as well, but the green shell is largely based on positioning, timing and skill. Misfire and it will ricochet off walls until it finds a victim. Don’t get in its way! Also, you can drop it behind you. It makes for a defensive tool if timed properly. Nice!
For less skill and a much higher rate of success, the homing red shell will quickly stir up words not quite appropriate for this site. Once in a blue moon you can avoid the red shell. For example, power sliding around a corner can free you of the red shell’s death grip. But the wise and discerning player will only fire the red shell when their target is right there for the taking. A banana peel or green shell can nullify it, however…
The banana peel isn’t the best offensive tool in the game, but it can be surprisingly effective when you’re neck and neck with the competition. You can also launch a banana peel about 10 yards ahead of you. While a fun sight, it’s rarely effective. Its best attribute isn’t its offensive capabilities, but rather its defensive potential. It has the ability to act as a defensive buffer to a red or green shell.
Although it doesn’t quite enjoy the glamour among Mario Kart fans as the vaunted lightning bolt does, the star has always been my personal favorite. It’s a combination of various powers: your speed is increased, you’re immune to track obstacles and enemy weapons, but best of all, anyone you touch instantly spins out. However, if you fall into water, lava, or off an edge, you’ll lose the power.
The game’s most infamous and adored power-up, the lightning bolt is both devious and dangerous. The fact that it’s so rare only increases its legend. Releasing the lightning bolt affects all seven competitors. Doing so shrinks them down which decreases their speed, but best of all, it allows you an opportunity to sadistically crush (literally) the competition. The lightning bolt is no doubt a game changer!
The coin is often viewed as the worst item of the lot, but it’s not useless. It’s definitely a no-brainer item though, since as soon as you get it, you should press ‘A’ to use it. It adds two coins to your count. Coins affect your overall top speed, with 10 being the max. So while it may not be as sexy as the other items, it’s handy when you have few or no coins.
Mr. Ghost is only available in Battle Mode, sadly. I wish it was available in the two player GP mode as well, but I guess one can’t have it all. The ghost not only snatches your friend’s current item but it also makes you “invisible.” Stealing your rival’s red shell or star in particular tends to lead to a curse word or two being uttered. And let’s face it, that’s probably half the fun of the battle mode
The feather allows you to make a great leap of faith. It’s particularly handy for Ghost Valley 1 and a few other tracks. Sure, you can jump with the L or R button but this turns you into the second coming of Michael Jordan. You can also use it to leap over an incoming shell (which is super satisfying) or a well-placed tricky banana peel. You can also use it to cut corners, too. Good stuff.
Its basic formula was nothing short of KA-CHING!
You get the items by passing a question mark tile. Let the randomness run its course or if you’re in a rush then press ‘A’ to stop it. It was (and still is) a fun gimmick that made Super Mario Kart extra awesome. The racing itself is fine, but the weapons add an extra dosage of strategy and fun.
THE TRACKS
MARIO CIRCUIT 1
This is by far the game’s easiest course, as well it should be. It eases you into the mechanics. There are no major tight corners. Instead, you get plenty of straight away paths. Not a lot of frills or thrills here, but that’s fine since there are 19 other tracks that are much more gimmicky. Mario Circuit 1 is plain but a memorable beginner’s track nevertheless.
DONUT PLAINS 1
To the casual observer, at a cursory glance, this track may appear to be a tranquil setting with a beautiful pond. However, experienced kart drivers know behind the serenity lies a deceivingly semi-tough course that can eat up unsuspecting novices. Some corners have loose dirt and debris strewn about. Ease up on the gas during these points or else pay the price.
GHOST VALLEY 1
Ah, Ghost Valley. The mushroom super jump bit, the feather trick and its unique elevated wooden track make this course unforgettable. Oddly enough, whoever built this course from long ago randomly inserted a jump bar in the middle. Remember the first time you used the mushroom right before the jump bar? Talk about a “holy shit” worthy moment indeed.
BOWSER CASTLE 1
Bowser’s got some of the trickiest tracks around, but his first one is fairly straight forward. It has some memorable features that help make it stand out. Midway through there are three zipper bars for you to drive over, granting you a quick speed burst. It was always a rush to turn the corner tightly and hit one of those zipper marks right on the, er, mark. And watch out for those annoying Thwomps!
MARIO CIRCUIT 2
I’ve always enjoyed the Mario Circuits because they have sort of a ‘pure’ untainted kart track feel to them. At the same time, there are just enough tiny gimmicks here and there that keep things interesting. This one is most notable for its famous great big jump bump at the end. Sabotaging players here was wickedly fun. Try dropping a banana peel just to the right of the second marker on the left side for computer opponents. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about
CHOCO ISLAND 1
A slippery dirt course way out in the desert, the infamous piranha plant calls Choco Island home. The terrain is dominated by bumpy surfaces and mud slicks so don’t get too pedal happy here. Be weary also of the mud bog that lies somewhere in the last quarter of the track — try using a mushroom here and see what happens!
GHOST VALLEY 2
While the first Ghost Valley track will always be the best one in my book, all of them are special in their own unique way. This one has a zipper for the final stretch of the course, with a small jumper off to the far right side… allowing you to take to the skies with a mushroom. I like how the small jumper is randomly placed there.
DONUT PLAINS 2
Try using the mushroom to skip the edge of the pond! This course is a perfect place to show off your great power sliding technique. Donut Plains 2 is littered with monty moles up the wazoo. They pop out of holes in the ground and even magically jump out of the grassy areas. If one latches on, you have to shake it off. I shake it off, I shake it off! But I keep cruising. Can’t stop, won’t stop moving. It’s like I got this music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright. Er, sorry. [I don’t know this guy. Security! -Ed.]
BOWSER CASTLE 2
This place can be a little confusing at first. Luckily, Bowser’s kind enough to place some arrows to guide you along. You can choose different routes to take. Alright, the routes are basic, but having a choice is still nice. If you have a feather, you can pull off a really awesome trick but it requires absolute precision. It’s not as easy as the jump in Ghost Valley 1…
MARIO CIRCUIT 3
There are a dozen square question mark blocks waiting for you just after the start / finish line, which may allow players to get an early advantage right out of the box. There is a serious hairpin turn in the middle of the track, and just for the hell of it there’s a nifty turbo plate in the final straight away leading up to the goal.
KOOPA BEACH 1
The good news: there aren’t any tight turns. The bad news: the sand surface isn’t the best for traction. Your kart has just enough buoyancy that it can travel safely across the water… except for the deeper, darker blue parts. Touch that and you’ll be swimming with the fish! [HAR HAR HAR -Ed.]
CHOCO ISLAND 2
Strange, suddenly I’m craving Coco Puffs. Choco Island 2 has a much bigger patch of chocolate goo waiting for you in the middle than the first Choco Island. There’s also a very narrow road which is the perfect place to drop a green shell or banana peel. Avoid the heavy dirt off-road sections — they slow drivers down to a crawl.
VANILLA LAKE 1
Brrrr! It’s a good thing the engine of your go-kart is so hot because you’re going to need that warmth as you race around this slick frozen lake! It’s probably the shortest track in the whole game. Vanilla Lake 1 is filled with annoying ice blocks that really impede your progress if you can’t skirt around them successfully.
BOWSER CASTLE 3
Bowser’s castle tracks just keep getting fancier and fancier. This one gives you three different lanes to pick from. The inside and outside lanes have a turbo tile to zip you past the competition. But the middle path has two question mark tiles. It does require, however, a well-timed leap to acquire…
MARIO CIRCUIT 4
This is a fairly long track that’s packed with corners of all sizes and shapes. It’s also home to many pesky pipes looking to block your path. Nothing beats the thrill of successfully blowing past them on your way to the finish line. On the flip side, nothing’s worse than being clipped by a centimeter, slowing you down to finish in second place (or worse). D’oh!
DONUT PLAINS 3
Graced by two rickety old bridges, literally. One of them is missing some wooden planks and the second bridge is really FUBAR… requiring you to leap safely across. It’s so narrow too that you’re likely to get bumped if another racer is nearby. You can knock others into the pond, but keep in mind that it goes both ways! And to top it all off, the bloody monty moles are back.
KOOPA BEACH 2
It’s time for another bash at the beach! This beach is loaded with some serious greenery that will slow down anyone who drives on it. As it was with Koopa Beach 1, watch out for the dark blue patches of water. They’ll drown you faster than you can say “CRIKEY! FLOPPING CHEEP CHEEP!”
GHOST VALLEY 3
The trickiest of the three Ghost Valley tracks, this one is filled to the brim with gaping holes. Carefully navigate your way through or you’ll pay a dear price. Just like the two previous Ghost Valley tracks, the feather can prove to be a difference maker here.
VANILLA LAKE 2
A very slippery course that’s more lake than land. Advanced players know how to jump around the edges of the lake to shave a precious second or two off their time. To complicate matters, this track is filled with ice barriers that can bring you to a complete and fatal stop. Winter Wonderland this ain’t!
RAINBOW ROAD
It would only be appropriate for the final course to be the toughest. Rainbow Road, in that context, certainly doesn’t disappoint. There’s no room for error with narrow paths galore and some very difficult to avoid Thwomps. Oh yeah, those plain Thwomps from Bowser’s castle tracks? Yeah, they’re now enhanced with an electrical force field. One touch and it’s Spin Out City. Rainbow Road separates the boys from the men.
The nightmares are coming back!
BATTLE ZONES OF DEATH
Select from four battle zones in the 2-player battle mode. The first course is basic and pretty much wide open, while the second one has more nooks and crannies for players to take cover. The third one, surprise surprise, is the slipperiest of the four. The fourth, as you can see above, is the nuttiest.
Lot of bruised egos in this mode
The battle mode is real simple. Each player has three balloons strapped to their go-kart. The first to pop all three balloons of the other player wins. This led to some serious cutthroat battles. The Ghost icon was a bitch! Great memories…
Setting a record by mere tenths of a second FTW
We also had a blast with the Time Trial mode. Getting the best time meant bragging rights. It was a gloat worthy accomplishment any time you beat out your brother, friend or even your own records. Not only could you be recognized for the best total time but the game also took account of best single lap time. Nothing was better than breaking both the single lap and total time record simultaneously.
Gotta break all the records…
PERFORMANCE CHECK-UP
I remember studying these two pages like crazy
Ah, the performance chart from the game’s manual. The SNES had some great instruction manuals, bursting with both color and useful information. Kind of sad to think about how today’s kids will never fully grasp the simple joy of studying a game’s manual in the backseat of their car going home from the video rental store. Life today is better in a lot of ways, but I can think of a few things technology simply cannot supplant.
Super Mario Kart has a simple but effective ranking system. If you ranked at 5th or worse, you had to then replay that course. The point system is as follows:
1: 9 points 2: 6 points 3: 3 points 4: 1 point
I’ve always felt that this scoring system worked really well. Take a look:
Classy, elegant and yet simple. Gotta love it. The music that plays here is awesome and to this day remains stuck in my head.
You can’t cut it any closer!
Nothing is more exhilarating than a photo finish race. Check out how crazy close Donkey Kong Jr. came to my Yoshi — 1’17″52 vs. 1’17″53!
I love the set-up screen here. Super Mario Kart just oozes with class and brilliance. You start out by earning the Gold Cup on all three races of the 50cc class. Then do the same in 100cc. Doing so unlocks Special Cup. Earn the Gold Cup there and you’ll unlock 150cc. 150cc is no joke!
MUSHROOM CUP OVERVIEW
Passing someone causes them to crane their neck
Few things satisfy like using a mushroom to burst past your top rival during that finish line finale.
I love seeing the exhaust fumes kick up like that
Power sliding around a tight corner to zoom past the competition is simply the best. And if you have the star, using it right after power sliding around a corner really puts you ahead of the pack!
Wind at 17 MPH east…
I liken the green shell to that of a bow and arrow. When aimed properly and used effectively, it proves to be both fatal and satisfying. While the red shell is a more effective weapon, the green shell is the one that allows players to show off their mad skills and ability to project accurately. Here I am setting up poor unsuspecting Koopa in my line of fire. Let’s see what happens to ol’ turtle face…
I love how his eyes bug out. Good stuff!
Release the sucker at just the right time and BAM! They spin out in a frenzy dropping coins every which way as you speed on ahead. Was there anything better than this? Even a mere child can use the red shell successfully. But the green shell now, ah ha. That, my friends, is entirely another matter. The green shell is for true Mario Kart masters
Or using the lightning bolt right before they jump…Koopa is in for one hell of “shellshock” [Har har -Ed.]Super Mario Kart is as entertaining as it is sadisticThe music here is still stuck in my head *hums tune*
Nowadays 150cc Special Cup laughs at me *sigh*
SEND IN THE CLONES
Surprisingly not, there came an inevitable flow of Mario Kart clones on the Super Nintendo. Shockingly however, most of them came out in Japan only. The most blatant clone is SD F-1 Grand Prix. Think Super Mario Kart meets the animatronic rejects of Chuck E. Cheese’s. As far as clones go though, this one is quite good. It has slightly better visuals than Super Mario Kart (October 1995 vs. September 1992). However, to no one’s surprise, it doesn’t play as well. The same can be said for all the other clones below. They’re all very competent and fun in their own right, but they’re NAGASMK (not as good as Super Mario Kart). SD F-1 Grand Prix is my favorite of the clones.
Definitely the least blatant clone of the lot, Battle Cross is what you might get if you threw Super Bomberman and Super Mario Kart into a blender. Who didn’t dream of that crossover at some point during the early-mid ’90s? Battle Cross is a single screen racer featuring six drivers and various weapon power-ups strewn across its nine wacky tracks. It does suffer slightly however from “It sounds better than what it actually is” syndrome. It’s pretty good but ends up feeling a bit “lightweight.” Still, it allows up to five human players and when approached with the proper mindset it can be a rather fun affair. Just temper those expectations going in.
Battle Racers took Bandai’s famous Kamen Rider-related characters and dumped them into a Mario Kart-esque game. I love the gorgeous sunset effect as seen above. It’s a very solid racing game but as stated before, it’s simply NAGASMK. Still, it’s worthy enough to warrant a look.
Finally, we come to the lone American clone in this lot. Street Racer features a four player split-screen mode. That alone makes it something to write home about. Well worth adding to your SNES collection, Street Racer has got its own bizarre personality and world. Give it a shot.
HONEY I SHRUNK THE KARTS!
My brother and I loved this code back in the dayWe turned the code into its very own mini-game!
The rule was simple. If you were “IT” you could pick any driver. The other person had to select Bowser (or Donkey). Why? They were the slowest to accelerate. The goal? Tag big ol’ Bowser (or Donkey). We found Vanilla Lake 2 to be most conducive for this makeshift mini-game. I can’t tell you how many hours we wasted on this. It was so cool because we felt like we had discovered an extra ‘secret mode’ to the game, which only increased its already excellent longevity. When shrunk, the small courses suddenly loom large, and what healthy child doesn’t love a spot or two of tag? It only added to the game’s brilliance and was a testament to just how stellar the game was. GP and Battle Mode are great and everything… but for sheer laughs and kicks, try out this miniature game of tag! It was classic childhood innocence sprinkled with that impeccable Nintendo magic that made it a winning combination
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Damn right it’s better than Mario Kart 64 ;)
Super Mario Kart was considered a universal smash hit. While today many are divided on where they stand — some feel it has stood the test of time while others think it hasn’t aged too well and that later renditions have rendered the original a bit obsolete — back in 1992 practically everyone was blown away. Along with Capcom’s Street Fighter II, Super Mario Kart was THE two player game to have on the Super Nintendo. Those two showcase titles were responsible for moving Super Nintendo systems by the truckload back in 1992. EGM gave Super Mario Kart ratings of 9, 9, 8 and 8. GameFan rated it 97, 96, 95 and 90%. Super Play scored it 93%. In EGM’s Top 100 Games list printed in issue #100 (November 1997), Super Mario Kart ranked in at a lofty #15. Their “Most Challenging Moment” blurb made me smile because I completely agree with them. It was a heated argument back in the late ’90s on which was better: Super Mario Kart or Mario Kart 64. I do love me some four player Mario Kart 64 but come on, the tracks on the original game was simply superior. It’s a debate that continues to stir passionate opinions to this very day…
It was a trailblazing innovator
Nintendo Power Magazine published their Top 100 Nintendo games list in issue #100 (September 1997). By the way, I found it cool (and such a wild coincidence) how EGM and Nintendo Power Magazine reached 100 issues at almost the same time. Nintendo Power ranked Super Mario Kart #32 while Mario Kart 64 placed #4. They hit the nail on the head with their very first sentence. I owned both Mario Kart games growing up, and while I really enjoyed Mario Kart 64 as well, Super Mario Kart was my favorite.
You’re good, kid, but your older brother is betterA beautiful cover for a beautiful game
Super Play Magazine published their own Top 100 SNES Games list back in April 1996. Super Play ranked Super Mario Kart as the third best SNES game ever created.
#1 in Retro Gamer’s book, er, magazine
Retro Gamer Magazine printed a special article on the SNES back in issue #23 (March 2006), highlighting ten “perfect” SNES games. Super Mario Kart topped that list at #1. Speaking of lists, I’ve been working on my very own SNES list the past 10 plus years.Whenever I get around to publishing it, you’ll see I also have Super Mario Kart ranked fairly high
A “DY-NO-MITE!” COMMERCIAL
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Hats off to one of the best SNES games ever crafted
It’s crazy to believe it’s been nearly 25 years since Super Mario Kart raced its way into our hearts. Time flies. It’s almost been 25 years since my brother and I pulled off the greatest gaming trade in the history of mankind (well, at least of our lives). This was the kind of game that brought all your neighborhood friends over like ants to sugar. Hell, even that one guy you barely knew! Whether it was the intense battle mode, the heart-pounding GP race, or even the brilliant makeshift tag mode we created out of a simple code, Super Mario Kart provided so many rich memories for me and my friends. It features great graphics (although it had to be seen in 1992 to truly be appreciated), excellent sound and unforgettable music, and finely tuned gameplay that only the Big N could perfect. The racing just feels right, and the creativity of the weapons and tracks only added to the game’s zaniness and appeal. Nintendo delivered another legendary gem and proved there was indeed life for Mario and friends outside of the platforming genre.
Thanks for all the memories, you silly bastards
I still play Super Mario Kart to this day. It’s one of my “go to” games whenever I feel like I might be heading into a gaming slump. It’s like that tried-and-true classic on the menu that you always order when you want to be reminded of how good food can taste. Super Mario Kart always reminds me of why I love gaming in the first place. It’s got an outlandish universe filled with classic characters, practical weapons and power-ups to use that never gets old, and memorable courses that are still as fun to race on now as they were then. Almost a quarter century later, Super Mario Kart still finishes in first place in my book in many categories. And it remains one of the finest Super Nintendo games ever created.
Graphics: 9
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 10
Overall: 10
Platinum Award
Regardless of later renditions and what else may come in the future, Super Mario Kart will forever be a true testament to how GREAT video games can be. It’s the best racing game on the SNES and one of the best Super Nintendo games ever. Thank you, Shigeru Miyamoto!
Ah, Christmas. As a kid growing up, there was something truly sacred about Christmas. It was a magical time of the year where miracles happen and wonder is in the air. Every kid I knew looked forward to Christmas. Whether we were writing letters to Santa or out shopping at the local mall with our parents, Christmas was magic. And the best time of the year to be a kid. As soon as that calendar strikes October, you were in kid Heaven. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. The promise of frights, food overload and video game presents. I’ve had some great gaming-related memories of Christmas over the years. Here they are
CHRISTMAS 1989: THE GAME WAS CHANGED
Sega had truly taken gaming to THE NEXT LEVEL
In December 1989, my brother and I owned an 8-bit Nintendo. We loved it dearly. But one day we went to our family friend’s house. Denny was raving about his new game system, the Sega Genesis. I was only six years old, but I remember it as if it was yesterday. Denny showed us the cool clamshell box of Altered Beast. The art on the cover blew me away with its wild beasts and savage wolf man. Before Denny opened the box he asked me, “How big do you think the game is?” Hmmm, I figured since it was bigger than Nintendo, surely the cartridge had to be huge. Denny shook his head with a sly grin. He slowly opened the box to reveal the tiniest cartridge I had ever seen in my life. I was stupefied. The next big leap in video gaming was that small? Denny popped Altered Beast in and I sat back to watch. From the moment the game fired up and I heard the infamous voiceover “WISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!” I was hooked and sold. The graphics were jaw dropping! So too was the sound. I never looked at gaming quite the same after that fateful December day of 1989.
Altered Beast forever altered the game…
Over the years I remember going back to Denny’s place a lot during December. We held many family friend gatherings there. I remember watching him play games like Dynamite Duke, Thunder Force III and Gaiares. Man, what a time of innocence it was. Not only were we on the verge of a new decade, we found ourselves standing smack dab in a new generation of hi-tech gaming! And life, well, life was awesome. But just when I thought gaming couldn’t get any better, it did…
One of the greatest level one bosses ever!
CHRISTMAS 1991: SUPER NINTENDO GENESIS
Some vacation trips stay with you for the long haul…
I was eight years old on vacation with my family and friends. My family forged a strong friendship with four families. Between the five families you had 10 parents and 16 kids (11 boys and five girls with birth years ranging from 1977-1987). We had some of the most legendary sleepovers in the history of such. We had monthly sleepovers and each time we would stay up until 1, 2 AM playing video games. It was a glorious time, and some of the best times of my childhood.
In December 1991, the parents wanted to go skiing at beautiful Lake Tahoe. We rented out a huge cabin where all twenty six of us stayed. It was insanity! The brothers, Tommy and Denny, packed their newly acquired Super Nintendo. This is the same Denny that first introduced me to the Sega Genesis and Altered Beast. You know how in every childhood gaming circle there was that one guy who got all the coolest newest games and systems first? Denny was that guy. Tommy and Denny also brought Super Mario World, Final Fight and F-Zero.
I loved Home Alone but I didn’t want to live it out!
That Sunday morning I woke up to an empty cabin, with weird noises emanating in every which direction. A cold chill swept down the back of my neck as I tip-toed downstairs timidly. Desperately calling out the names of my family and friends, it wasn’t long until I realized I was the lone prisoner trapped inside this cabin from hell.
The only response I received for my cries was the hissing of the cabin. I felt a chill creep over once more. Some thing wasn’t right…
Once I managed to make my way to the kitchen I found a note taped to the fridge with my name on it.
All alone in that demonic looking cabin… or was I…
Steve, The rest of us got up early to go out for breakfast. We’ll be back soon. You stayed up really late last night so I wanted you to get the extra rest. Make yourself some Honey Nut Cheerios and don’t watch too much TV. We’ll be back very soon.
Love, Mom
Gee, thanks mom. I’ll be sure to remember this when I go to the booth next week to cast my vote in for Mom of the Year! I opened the fridge and saw an ice cold can of 7 Up. It was my favorite soda but there was no chance in hell I was going to brave it down that demonic looking hallway to make it to the restroom. No siree!
Ever felt that someone or something is watching you?
Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold, dreary December morning of 1991. But being eight years old and resourceful, I believed spirits would never mess with me if I had the radio or TV playing — they only attacked those who were alone. So I turned on the tube and came across a WWF show. Ah, wrestling. It’s always comforted me and did so here. But before long the show ended and I was left thinking about what evil spirits might be milling about. That’s when I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. All the older “cool” kids were taking turns with it the night before, and the younger kids (of which I was right on the cusp of) could do nothing but peer on wishing life had dealt them a better hand. So it suddenly dawned on me that this was my chance. This was my moment.
It’s true — you never forget your first time
Powering up F-Zero, I was instantly transported to Mode-7 Heaven. Every single racing track blew my mind. I couldn’t believe how fast it played, and how AMAZING the game looked. And that MUSIC… oh man. F-Zero led me from thinking about ghosts to obsessing over intergalactic racing warfare! Later I plugged in Final Fight and found myself saving the good citizens of Metro City one jaw dropping stage after another, as I smeared the streets with the blood of the hooligans from the Mad Gear Gang. I had never seen such state-of-the-art arcade-like graphics before. The characters were unbelievably HUGE and at times I found myself wondering, “WHERE THE HECK IS THE COIN SLOT?!”
Back in 1991 this was absolutely mind blowing!
I played Final Fight until my family and friends came back. Part of me was ecstatic to no longer be alone in the cabin from hell, but something funny happened during my inaugural SNES playthrough. It made me forget about malicious ghosts and evil spirits. It instead transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. Even 25 years later, I still recall that Christmas with great reverence
CHRISTMAS 1992: KING OF THE KARTS
There was a certain magic in the air that night…
My mom and I used to go to the mall all the time. It was one of our traditions. She took me after school every Friday, rain or shine. I loved it because this was a time in life when the world was a different place. Even as young as 8, my mom allowed me to hit up my stores while she went shopping for clothes. This gave me a great sense of independence and for about 30 minutes I was on my own completely! I always visited Suncoast, Kay Bee Toys, Walden Books, Sam Goody, and of course, the classic SOFTWARE ETC.
Now rarely did she ever end up buying me anything once we reconvened, but that was never the point. It was fun enough thumbing through books, EGM magazines and drooling at the various action figures. It was the feeling that it produced. Just knowing you were on your own for half an hour made going to the mall a fun time. But the best times always came during Christmas season.
That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago…
The mall Santa was there taking pictures, kissing babies and shaking little hands. At nine and a half years old now, I was too old for that stuff, but not old enough to not still believe in the magic of Christmas. So instead of sitting on Santa’s lap, I simply sat back from afar to admire what had been, and what once was.
My mom came over asking if I wanted to meet the mall Santa, but I told her I was too old. She looked at the kids rushing up to Santa just 20 feet away from us, lost in her thoughts. Somewhere in her aging face I saw her loosen up, as if she suddenly missed the days when I was that young scampering around. Perhaps it was the right kind of Christmas magic I’d need for what was about to transpire on that most magical late December evening…
This was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!
There it was, plastered in big and bold blue letters. I always made it a point to hit up SOFTWARE ETC. each time we visited the mall. Of course, I could only dream of my mom complying to buy me a video game. Still, like a moth to flame, those bold blue letters always sucked me in. I stood there that evening in sheer awe of the endless shelves of SNES goodies — games in which I could only dream of owning. And then, there it was. High on the shelf I saw it, shining like a beacon of light. KING OF THE MONSTERS for the Super Nintendo! It was just one short year ago that I’d beaten the arcade and thought to myself, “Man, I can’t wait for this to come home!” And now, it finally has. Only one problem, of course. How can I convince mom to buy it? Standing there, staring at the pristine shiny King of the Monsters box, my mind desperately raced through everything I could think of in order to weigh the odds in my favor.
I didn’t have very long to think…
“C’mon honey, we gotta get back home now.”
“WAIT!”
“What is it?”
What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?
“That…” I pointed to the King of the Monsters box sitting on the top shelf. “I want that.”
OK, so much for poetic language and convincing arguments.
My mom gave me “the look.” Uh oh. In the history of “momkind” the look has never been good news. Whether it was a look of frustration, disappointment or disgust, the look has denied kids an untold number of desserts, toys and video games. This task, I could tell, was going to be about as easy as Quantum Physics.
“Honey, that’s fifty five dollars.”
“No, it’s fifty four ninety nine!” I quickly countered. HA! I thought I had her — ahh, the bliss of being nine years old…
“Well actually with tax it’s about sixty,” she corrected.
Well DAMN. Talk about backfiring!
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. My trump card. I explained to her how it was my favorite game, how I had to have it, and how much joy it would bring Kevin and me. And that if she bought it, it would count for not only my Christmas gift but also my birthday as well.
My mom grabbed the box to examine it closer. “Hey, isn’t this the game you played all night last year at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Is this the same one?”
***FLASHBACK TO DECEMBER 1991***
This only took me an hour and about 500 quarters
December 1991. My parents took me and my brother to our favorite place, Chuck E. Cheese’s, to celebrate the end of the year. My mother was rather strict so these rare opportunities where she allowed us to binge on our desires were not taken for granted! They ordered two large pizzas and got us 50 tokens. I knew where I was going to be for the rest of that night — at the King of the Monsters cab determined to beat it! It took me some time and way too many quarters to count but at last I did it, all while my mom sat back at the table eating unwanted leftover pizza crust and watching the whole thing go down.
***BACK TO DECEMBER 1992***
I nodded furiously and watched as my mom bit her lower lip, contemplating what to do. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she took the game to the counter. I stood there in awe watching as they swiped her credit card. It was the first video game she bought for me. Outside I could hear the chattering of youngsters and the HO-HO-HOs of the mall Santa. The Christmas season was ringing in full force, and this bit of Christmas magic only punctuated the moment. My brother and I played King of the Monsters as soon as I got home. It turned out to be a ho-hum translation but at the time I remember not caring a great deal about that. I was just grateful and still buzzing with excitement at the fact that the Christmas magic was still alive and well!
Downtown Christmas was our Yuletide tradition
A couple days after my mom bought the game, I was playing it one night with my brother when she urged us to turn it off so we could drive downtown to see the fancy Christmas lights. It was a basic tradition in my family that every Yuletide we do so. I love the lights but that year my parents had to pry me away from my Super Nintendo. I guess as my brother and I got older, the more my mom fought to keep tradition alive. Like how she wanted me to sit on Santa’s lap the night she bought me the game. I guess that’s something I’ll find out for myself one of these days… [Sitting on Santa’s lap? How kinky. I see you’re on that naughty list… -Ed.]
But wait! That Christmas is about to get even better
Christmas ’92 proved to be one for the record books. In addition to my mom buying me King of the Monsters, that same year our uncle bought us Death Duel. I remember the ad from EGM. It looked cool and all, but honestly, my brother and I were a bit disappointed. Of all the games on our wish list, Death Duel certainly wasn’t even in the top 20. We tried not to complain though as our mom always taught us to be grateful and that any gift was better than none at all. Still, Kevin and I went home that night talking about how awesome it would be if Death Duel magically transformed into Super Mario Kart instead (the game that topped our Christmas wish list). It was rare that my brother and I both wanted the same game — he was a “mainstream” guy while I was more fond of the obscure underdog titles. However, Super Mario Kart transcended all of that. It was just that kind of game.
Good thing my brother was still only 11 at the time!
And then, as we were talking, an epiphany struck us. We suddenly recalled the ad for Death Duel in EGM. We pulled out the latest EGM issue that we had bought weeks earlier and madly flipped through it in search of our great loophole. Ah, there it was. Not suggested for children under 14. I was only nine and my brother was 11. My brother wouldn’t be able to play Death Duel for another three years! And five for me! Not that we couldn’t break the rules but when the rules benefit you, why not follow them?
Everyone wanted this game that Christmas season
After showing the ad to our mom, just as we predicted she would, she promptly called our uncle to explain the situation and asked if he kept the receipt. Luckily, he did and since we hadn’t opened the game yet, it was ripe for a swap. So later that week my mom took me and Kevin to exchange Death Duel for Super Mario Kart. I remember thinking that it was the greatest trade in the history of mankind. I still laugh thinking about this Christmas memory. Who knew a silly ad could bring about such a dramatic turn of events?
We became the kings of our blockThanks for a great Christmas memory, Death Duel
CHRISTMAS 1993: FIGHT CLUB
This quickly became my next most wanted game
Leading up to Christmas that year I was completely fascinated with Interplay’s Street Fighter II clone, Clay Fighter. Endless controversial ads filled the pages of gaming magazines and I studied the many previews drooling in sheer anticipation of this new promising fighting game. And who could forget the Clay Fighter ad campaign? I sure haven’t — it’s one of the greatest ad campaigns in 16-bit gaming history.
Oooh! SHOTS FIRED. Interplay wasn’t playing around
I still remember fondly my cousin calling me one night in early December of 1993. It was rare in those days for her to call as we usually just saw each other in person and communicated that way. But on this fateful night she called asking for my Christmas wish list. My heart was racing as I knew there was really only one thing I wanted: a copy of Clay Fighter. I remember explaining to her over the phone what Clay Fighter was, and being positive that she was going to buy it for me. Yep, it was only a matter of days now…
The gist of what I told my cousin that fateful night!As a 10 year old, I thought the ads were the best
Of course, she bought something else for me. It ended up not being a video game at all. After that phone call and everything, I couldn’t help but feel massively disappointed. In retrospect though, I’m lucky she didn’t buy me Clay Fighter…
“C’mon Steve, do the Dragon Kick here! One more time!”
I would be remiss not to mention World Heroes. My best pal Nelson bought it when it first came out around September of ’93, and we played it well into the winter. Nelly even lent me the game here and there. Uncle Ben flew in that Christmas and watched me play as Kim Dragon. Uncle Ben didn’t care for video games whatsoever, but even he was drawn into World Heroes. He rooted me on, suddenly morphing into an armchair gamer! He loved Kim’s Dragon Kick and called for me to do it each time. It’s a quirky memory that has stuck with me all these years.
World Heroes will always have a soft spot in my heart
Christmas ’93 was simply a great time to be a robust 10 year old kid growing up in suburban America. If you had a Super Nintendo, a best friend and you loved fighting games — what a time to be alive! With choices such as Street Fighter II Turbo, TMNT: Tournament Fighters, World Heroes, Ranma ½: Hard Battle and Clay Fighter, there were plenty of fighting games to choose from. The 16-bit war was in full swing, and if you had the SNES and Genesis like I did, you were the ultimate winner.
Nothing like an unexpected post Christmas score!
Having hounded my parents about Clay Fighter and them knowing how disappointed I was that I didn’t get it that Christmas, my mom allowed me to buy one video game in January of ’94. Thankfully, I rented Clay Fighter just prior to this once-in-a-lifetime decree. It wasn’t a terrible fighting game, it just wasn’t very good. My parents took me to Good Guys and I bought Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters. Ninja Turtles meets Street Fighter II? Take my money, er, my parents’ money!
Yep, I sure made the right call!“COWABUNGA!!”
CHRISTMAS 1994: KAREN KOMBAT!
SNES fans were vindicated with an awesome port
Christmas ’94 was marked by the return of my cousin Karen, whom I hadn’t seen in a while. She was now eight and my Uncle Ben also had a one year old daughter, Liz. My bro and I bought Mortal Kombat II for the SNES and we were playing it well into that Christmas season, much to Karen’s chagrin as it would turn out.
Chill Karen, it’s only a game. Don’t lose your head…
When Karen and baby Liz came over that holiday season, we showed off Mortal Kombat II in all its glory. Upon seeing the first blood spewing Fatality, Baraka slicing Jax’s head clean off his shoulders, Karen imploded like a soccer mom at a backyard wrestling event. Grabbing her baby sister in a mad panic, she screamed at us, “OH MY GOD! A ONE YEAR OLD BABY CAN’T BE EXPOSED TO THIS R-RATED VIOLENCE!”The way she yelled at the top of her lungs coupled with her mannerisms made it a moment in time. To this day I still give her a hard time about it whenever we see each other.
As it would turn out, Christmas ’94 was the last great gaming-related Christmas I can remember. Well, that was until…
CHRISTMAS 2010: PARTY LIKE IT’S 1994
You could say it was a powerpak’ed Christmas…
November 2010. I bit the proverbial bullet and purchased an SNES PowerPak. This great device allows you to play almost any SNES game ever created. It comes at a steep price but as I found out firsthand later that Christmas season, it’s worth the asking price. Guess who visited that Christmas? None other than Karen and (no longer baby) Liz. Karen was now 24 and Liz, 17. It’s funny how life comes full circle sometimes.
See the love mark my SNES left on the carpet?
Saturday, Christmas afternoon. Uncle Ben, his wife, Karen and Liz were visiting from out of state and staying at their second home. Uncle Ben invited the whole fam over for a night of Christmas family fun. Normally I take the Sega Saturn with me (for Saturn Bomberman), but this time I thought I’d try the Super Nintendo instead. It was the right call.
Love how it all fitted perfectly. A nice snug fit ^_^
Ah, the advantage of having a PowerPak and not having to haul 20, 25 games with you. With one cartridge you can effectively carry hundreds of SNES games. That alone makes having some kind of flash cart worth the asking price.
That night we went back in time
We enjoyed a pleasant family Christmas dinner together that night. Then my cousins Karen, Liz, David, Mia and I retreated to the living room. I unpacked the Super Nintendo to a warm nostalgic reaction. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen one of these in forever!” Karen was most eager of all being that she was old enough to really remember it. The PowerPak worked its magic. I let her browse through the endless list of games. Her eyes popped when she saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time. “I remember playing this back in the day!” Karen had turned into a wide-eyed six year old kid before my very eyes. “WE GOTTA PLAY THIS!” she declared. Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting her to pick Mortal Kombat II.
Karen and David started out on the first level. The three of us felt like we were back at the arcades in the ’90s. Liz and Mia, being young teenagers and Wii fans, didn’t get the hype so they didn’t care to join in. But Karen, David and I were having a blast. The Ninja Turtles weren’t the only ones going back in time here…
It felt like we were back in 1992
The three of us rotated turns playing the two player mode. Each new stage brought about “Oooh I remember this!” memories. When we made our way to the sewer stage, with the giant yellow pizza monsters leaping out at us, Karen said, “I TOTALLY REMEMBER THOSE PIZZA MONSTERS FROM THE CARTOON SHOW!” We made it to Super Shredder, but soon fell at his evil hands.
Karen, David and I had a, er, blast
After Turtles in Time, we switched over to Super Bomberman 2. It brought back memories of the early-mid ’90s when my old gaming group spent countless Saturday nights blowing each other up. We ended up playing the SNES from 6:45 to 9:20. We spent the next two hours talking and hanging out. Nothing like quality family time mixed in with a little multiplayer gaming
World Heroes 2 is a terrific and underrated SNES port
I slept over at my parents’ house that night since they live only 15 minutes away from Uncle Ben’s second home. Arriving around midnight, I was still in a Super Nintendo state of mind. I immediately popped in the PowerPak and fired up the beta version of World Heroes 2. Although I love the finished product, the beta version is more combo friendly and therefore more accurate to the arcade original. It’s almost like playing two different games! One more reason to love the PowerPak — you can play beta versions (if available) of your favorite games and compare.
Don’t have one yet? Better catch and ride that wave!Love it but the computer is tough
After World Heroes 2 beta, I had the urge to revisit another childhood favorite, TMNT: Tournament Fighters. After the tough computer foes put a thorough whupping on my ass, I felt the need to do some whupping of my own, so I fired up Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling 2: 3-4 Budokan.
The fatal four way match is good for a quick fix. After this, I went to brush my teeth. My parents had already gone to bed. I turned off the lights and lowered the volume. I hadn’t slept over in a long time so the house making all kinds of unusual noises in the dark was a bit creepy. I decided to go from one obscure Super Famicom import to another.
Fans of the unusual and Pocky & Rocky will like this
One of the weirdest games on the SNES, Deae Tonosama Appare Ichiban is also rather fun. I had a blast going through the whole game. It was now 2:45 AM, and the house grew eerily darker and darker. It was the perfect time to load up the scariest Super Nintendo game ever created.
Now there’s a stocking stuffer you don’t want to see
There couldn’t have been a more perfect setting to play Clock Tower. Weird noises emanated from the house as heavy rain crashed against the windows with fierce velocity. I never imagined in a million years that a Super Nintendo game could actually scare me. But on that night, Clock Tower succeeded. Scissorman left a wake of terror as he pursued me relentlessly throughout the mansion. It was one of the best gaming sessions I’ve ever had.
SNIP SNIP — I could still hear Scissorman’s shears…
It was now 4:30 in the morning. Whoa, I played the SNES from midnight to 4:30. I staggered over to turn off Clock Tower, then I fumbled up the stairs in the dark. I was in a bit of a daze, feeling uneasy still thinking about the grisly images. I crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling in the darkness. What an epic gaming session and what a great Christmas! I laid there for a while just reflecting on the night before drifting off to a deep, peaceful sleep…
CHRISTMAS 2012: BIRDIES AND BOMBS, BABY!
Nothing beats a good old fashion multiplayer party!
Once again the PowerPak proved its worth. My brother, his girlfriend and I went to visit David and Mia. We spent the night playing 4-player BS Out of Bounds Golf and 5-player Super Bomberman 5. Nothing screams quality family time quite like blowing up your brother, or knocking your cousin’s ball out of bounds. Both games quickly grew heated as the trash talking (and laughing) compounded. The fondest memory I have of this evening came when David miraculously nailed a miracle trick shot. He bounced his ball against a plate bumper, which then ricocheted its way into the cup. Everyone in the room jumped and shouted in stereo. It was certainly mic drop worthy! We all gave David a hi-five and he wore the fattest grin I ever saw. To see him have that one moment of glory made my Christmas that year. Fittingly enough, we even gave him a golf clap
David bounced a shot off that bumper and in, wow!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a very good night :)
Christmas time always brings back such fond memories of time well spent with loved ones and video games. Especially when you were a kid, there was just something special and magical about Christmas season. Whether you received a new video game system or a new video game, many of us have nostalgic memories surrounding Christmas and video games. These were mine. And they’ve stayed with me long after the snow has faded and the lights have been taken down. As tomorrow marks the beginning of winter and as we draw closer and closer to yet another Christmas, I’m reminded of all these nostalgic memories. There’s something about gaming during the winter season that can’t be beat. Those early darkening late afternoons. The whipping rain lashing outside late at night as you play childhood favorites, or unearth new ones. Wherever you are at in this stage of life, may you be blessed each day and a blessing to others, too. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?
Thank you good sir, and God Bless everyone else too
![[I prefer Kay Bee Terrorists, myself -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/TrueLiesSNES50.jpg)
![[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack's phone -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/ZackMorrisPhone-e1485070894538.jpg)
![Sorry Art Malik. I agree with Arnold [You're one to talk -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/TrueLiesSNES117.jpg)
![I got TWO words for ya... [SUCK IT!!! Sorry, it's Pavlovian... -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/TrueLiesSNES118.jpg)
Overall: 8.0
![[More like Yoshi's Island -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/SMW2Gif.gif)
![One [or two -Ed.] of the best things to come from it!](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/HeidiHI.jpg)
![[Yeah, I blocked this memory out. THANKS -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/SF5onit2.jpg)
![A little horny, the git [... -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/GeonMS.jpg)
![[Hey, they stole your dating philosophy -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/KOTMTricks.jpg)
![[Gee, thanks for the helpful tip, Einstein! -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/FiFight76.jpg)
![[Hmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/FiFight94.jpg)
![Koopa is in for one hell of shellshock [Har har -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/SuMaKa74.jpg)
![YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! [You're SO cheesy... -Ed.]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/BSOoBG38.jpg)
