Steve | RVGFanatic

Street Fighter II (SNES)

**Pub and Dev: Capcom | July 1992 | 16 MEGS**

Released in early 1991, Street Fighter II would forever change the course of gaming history. Sweeping coast to coast like a blistering tornado, swooping up everyone ruthlessly in its path, Street Fighter II took the video game world by storm. Gamers cutting classes, thousands of quarters disposed and endless lines — it was all just another day at the office for Capcom’s epochal once in a generation masterpiece. It was more than just a game; it was a phenomenon. Street Fighter II became a way of life for many. Never before did a game offer the endless combinations that Street Fighter II presented. In every pizza parlor, arcade hall, 7-11 — anywhere you could imagine — there was bound to be a Street Fighter II arcade cab with a line of eager players not far behind. Capcom had truly created a monster.

Then came the murmurs. If you put your ear low to the ground, you could hear the rumblings. Capcom was porting their money maker over to the Super Nintendo. The thought of being able to play the game in the comfort of your living room with no lines, no sticky buttons and no quarters? It was every kid’s dream come true in early 1992. That summer we got our wish when Street Fighter II made its home debut with a splash. Capcom pulled out all the stops, making this the first 16 MEG monster on the SNES. It was a glorious summer, indeed.

You've made it when you're on the cover of snacks! — You’ve made it when you’re on the cover of snacks!

Eight warriors spanning the globe, each with their own special moves, six buttons of varying speed and strength, unique quarter motions requiring some degree of skill, combos… Capcom caught lightning in a bottle.

Anyone who was a gamer and involved in the arcade scene back in the early ’90s has a story about Street Fighter II. This is mine…

SUMMER 1991

Pride comes before the fall... — Pride comes before the fall…

My dad drove me, my brother Kevin and his friends to a 7-11 one hot summer day. We were going to pick up some chips and slurpees to enjoy on this scorching summer day. Inside was a Street Fighter II cab, naturally. One of my brother’s friends, Mike, challenged me to a duel right there in the store. Ahh, Mike was a classic dude. He was a burly 10 year old cocky punk who acted tougher than he really was. I selected Dhalsim because I was always drawn to underdogs and “freaks.” Mike was trash talking even before the match began. I wasn’t yet skilled enough to pull off a special move, hell, I didn’t even know how! But on that day it didn’t matter, for you see, Mike had no answer for Dhalsim’s long limbs. I ended up perfecting him two rounds in a row! It was the upset of the decade! My seven and a half year old self couldn’t believe it, and neither could Mike, who just stood there completely in shock.

My brother and Mike’s other friend were jumping around going “OHHHH!!!” I became the man of the hour, and Mike was never going to live this moment down, ever. I knew then and there Street Fighter II was no ordinary game. It’s a memory that’s never left me. The moment cemented me as a Dhalsim and Street Fighter II fan for life. And to this day, whenever I happen to step inside a 7-11 to pick up a cold drink on a hot summer day, I can’t help but think back to that moment in time.

1991 was a good year. Damn, it's been 25 years... — 1991 was a good year. Damn, it’s been 25 years…

My bro, his friends and I used to frequent a local card shop, TRIPLE PLAY, on a biweekly basis. My bro would get 2 bucks to spend, and I’d get a dollar from my dad. I always spent that dollar on a Marvel 1991 trading card pack. My brother would as well, and then he’d use his last remaining dollar on the Street Fighter II cab. Kevin would occasionally spare me a quarter (what a great older brother, eh?) but most of the times I just stood by, happily checking out my new Marvel cards while keeping an eye on the older kids trading fireballs and fists.

Once in a while a game transcends gaming itself

And as the 8-bit Nintendo was making its final push in the US, word broke out about a SUPER Nintendo. A machine that promised to break all boundaries of modern technology and bring home the next wave of console gaming. Later that year the SNES launched and quality software like Super Mario World, Contra III: The Alien Wars and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ensured that the SNES hype was real.

Released November 21, 1990 — *Street Fighter II* and SNES — a match made in Heaven

However, as great as those titles were and as much as they contributed to the ascension of the Super Nintendo, to me it was Street Fighter II that truly etched the system’s greatness in granite.

On a hot summer night in 1992, my brother and mom left to Sears Funtronics with one simple mission in mind: secure and bring home the hottest 16-bit video game. I stayed back and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. The seconds felt like minutes. The minutes felt like hours. Fight fever had officially taken over. When my bro finally made it back with Street Fighter II in hand, I’m pretty sure all my neighbors could hear our cries of joy. It was yet another moment in time of being nine years old, growing up in suburbia and experiencing the best era of video gaming.

Right off the bat we noticed the little intro was missing, but honestly, we didn’t really care. It still felt like we had the arcade in our living room! Or at the very least, a strong slice of the arcade. And at that time, July 1992, that was more than enough to leave a lasting imprint on all of us.

sfcontinue — No more quarters needed ^_^

THE WORLD WARRIORS

RYU
DOB: 7.21.64
5’10” 150 lbs

The main character of the franchise, Ryu became the face of fighting games. A master of the Shotokan martial art, Ryu lives for the fight and only the fight. While some may consider him to be a little bland, there’s no denying he’s an iconic character who holds claim to some of the most legendary special moves in all of fighting game history.

Duke it out on the dojo rooftop. Only the privileged few have ever step foot here. And you were lucky to leave the dojo on your own two feet!

Ah, the Hadoken fireball. Arguably the most iconic move in fighting game history, you just can’t beat a good old Hadoken.

The classic Hurricane Kick.

The double axe kick is a good way to polish off combos. It does a fair amount of damage. Your victim even vomits, which was always a fun sight gag.

SHO-RYU-KEN! The Dragon Punch, much like Ryu himself, has often been imitated but so rarely duplicated.

KEN
DOB: 2.14.65
5’10” 169 lbs

Friend and foe of Ryu’s, Ken is the more flamboyant of the two. He knows every move that Ryu knows. But unlike Ryu, Ken believes there is more to life than just the fight. In battle he is often times reckless and has a higher propensity to show off. Will arrogance be Ken’s ultimate undoing?

Ken loves having an audience, and this boat provides him with just that. Storage barrels line the battle field and break if hit violently.

Ken’s Hurricane Kick packs a wallop when administered in succession.

“ARE YOU KEN!?” Wait, no, I’M Ken…

Ken and Ryu are virtually identical in Street Fighter II, except Ken’s kick throw sees him tumbling his victim through the air like a circus act. Yup, Ken was always the showoff.

E. HONDA
DOB: 11.3.60
6’2″ 304 lbs

Edmond Honda entered the World Warrior tournament to prove the legitimacy of sumo wrestling to an unbelieving world. A winner of the “Yokozuna” title, E. Honda also holds claim to having the fastest hands known to mankind. He’s more agile than he looks, reminding one to never judge a book by its cover.

A well-polished ring is kept ready for combat whether sumo or street fighting. He forbids spectators as Honda isn’t about spectacle but rather the pure uninterrupted spirit of true competition. Honda likes cooling off in his hot tub between battles.

His double knee inflicts a good amount of damage. It’s like being whacked by a tree limb!

Ken may never have kids... — Ken may never have kids…

Nutcracker city y'all — Nutcracker city y’all

BLANKA
DOB: 2.12.66
6’5″ 218 lbs

For years natives have reported seeing something strange roaming deep within the rain forest. Although the stories vary, a few things remain consistent. This half man, half beast is incredibly fast, savage and as green as the rain forest itself. The creature became something of a “Brazilian Boogeyman.” The local government refused to acknowledge it and even ordered a media black out. That didn’t stop certain vigilantes however from setting up camp and trying to snap a shot of the wild beast. After years of murmurs and rumors, the creature known as Blanka emerged out of the shadows to win the great Street Fighter II tournament.

After hiding in seclusion for years in the Brazilian rain forest, Blanka is now ready to take on the world. The natives are shocked to see the beast in the light of day and snap photos to prove that their eyes aren’t deceiving them. Imagine if this game were made in 2010. Those old cameras would be replaced with iPhones recording the action!

A savage attack befitting of a wild beast — A savage attack befitting a wild beast

He's got an electric personality... — He’s got an electric personality…

We get a hint of blood with Blanka’s face bite. Nintendo of America was very sensitive with blood back in those early days, so mad respect to Capcom for being able to sneak in as much as they did.

Double Knee Smasher!

Momma always said use your noggin.

GUILE
DOB: 12.23.60
6’1″ 191 lbs

During a special mission in Thailand, Guile and his best pal Charlie were captured by a tyrant named M. Bison. Charlie was murdered at the hands of M. Bison, and ever since then Guile has been out for blood. Using a unique blend of Special Forces training and street fighting skills, Guile is one of the most beloved characters of all time. Although Ryu and Ken were the faces of the game, Guile was always that cool alternative protagonist. He had the looks, the moves and who could ever forget his epic stage music?

His comrades cheer him on to victory. Wooden boxes shatter like a Spanish announcer table at a WWE event.

Guile’s Sonic Boom is nearly just as iconic as the Hadoken itself. In some ways, I even prefer it to the Hadoken. Remember the jab version being so slow that in some cases you could follow it up with a well timed backfist? Super satisfying.

If at first you don’t succeed…

CHUN LI
DOB: 3.1.68
5’8″ Never ask a lady her weight!

The so-called “Strongest Woman in the World” entered the tournament in hopes of avenging her father’s death, whose death she believes is on the head of a mysterious crime lord known only as M. Bison. Her obsession with vengeance fuels her every move, but will her burning passion for blood lust be her downfall? It’s a razor thin line; I wouldn’t want to get in her way! And between Guile and Chun Li, M. Bison better have eyes in the back of his head…

In a quaint Chinese village there lies a small but bustling marketplace. As a customary form of travel, many folks leisurely pass by on bicycles. Meanwhile, a man in the background is busy preparing a chicken to be sold to customers. It’s just another hard day’s work to make ends meet.

ZANGIEF
DOB: 6.1.56
7’0″ 256 lbs

The strongest man in the tournament, this Russian wrestler fights bears for fun. And that’s really all you need to know. Zangief is not very user friendly — only the most advanced Street Fighter II players will be able to use him effectively. Man of a thousand holds, he owns the most devastating move in the game: the Spinning Piledriver! Pretty much every fighting game that came after this had a strong man with a similar big move. In that regard, like him or not, Zangief was something of a trailblazer.

Zangief works long hours six days a week at this industrial factory in Mother Russia. During his break, as a way to entertain himself, he takes on all comers. His comrades cheer on from the sidelines.

The Spinning Piledriver is the hardest move to execute, but it also dishes out the most damage.

Avoid fireballs with the Spinning Clothesline

Zangief learned a thing or two from Haggar! — Haggar taught Zangief well

DHALSIM
DOB: 11.22.52
5’10” (varies) 107 lbs (varies)

Ahhh, the first fighter I ever picked. Dhalsim and I bonded from day one. He’s incredibly flexible and has the ability to stretch his limbs to attack opponents from a distance. This makes him a formidable foe not to be taken lightly, despite his lack of speed. Over the course of his long life Dhalsim has sought to unify his mind, body and soul through the discipline of Yoga. Through his meditation he’s able to spew fire from deep within. He makes for quite the hit at summer BBQs!

Dhalsim loves to meditate inside this indoor temple and stretch [Really? -Ed.] to gear up for battle. He’s proud of the rich wall tapestry and finely crafted architecture that represents his heritage.

I don't think he washes his feet... — I don’t think he washes his feet…

Stretch fighters became a staple of the genre

The Yoga Noogie is an alternative option to Dhalsim’s regular throw. Instead of forward + fierce you press toward + medium. I liked how the game gave you two options for Dhalsim (and a few others, such as Honda and Guile). Besides, what’s better than pounding on someone’s skull so hard that they’re forced to do squats?

Up close Dhalsim is not the best striker, but this double headbutt is a notable hit. It’s similar to Blanka’s double headbutt, but it’s much stronger and I love the sound effect it makes. You can really feel the power of Dhalsim’s cranium.

The Yoga Fire was always one of my favorite fireballs in all of fighting games. Because it’s literally just that. A fireball! Plus it looks so simple and it actually sets your opponent on fire if they fail to block it. It made Dhalsim extra cool in my book that he was the only fighter who could produce this animation.

Yoga Flame for closer distance and more damage — Yoga Flame inflicts even more damage

THE BOSSES

Originally M. Bison in Japan — M. Bison in Japan

Battle Balrog under the Las Vegas lights!

Ryu, you're supposed to run before he counts — Ryu, you’re supposed to run before he counts

The masked ninja will climb the fence in a pinch

Ryu's eternal nemesis — Ryu’s eternal nemesis

Chest scar courtesy of Ryu from the first Street Fighter — *Chest scar* courtesy of Ryu from the first *Street Fighter*

Bison tossing off his cape right before the battle begins was so badass.

Can you withstand his twisted Psycho powers?

BONUS ROUNDS

The thing about bricks... — The thing about bricks is this…

"BRICKS DON'T HIT BACK" — *“BRICKS DON’T HIT BACK”*

STREET FIGHTER II: THE SILLY WARRIOR

*[Yeah, I blocked this memory out. THANKS -Ed.]*

Creepy witches... — Creepy witches abound…

Meditate and maybe you'll be this forgiving, too! — Meditate and maybe you’ll be this forgiving, too…

DIZZY RAMA

While strikes and special moves are nice, they don’t mean nearly as much as when they’re linked together. Two-in-ones and combos are the heartbeat of true master champions.

An uppercut, deadly in its own right... — Deadly in its own right…

But when chained... — But when chained into another attack…

COMBO TIPS AND STRATEGIES

Every kid bought this guide back in the day

My brother and I even bought the GamePro Street Fighter II Strategy Guide back in 1992. It was the first guide we ever bought, and to this day it remains my favorite guide of all time. I wasn’t a huge fan of GamePro Magazine, but this guide was awesome. Over 2,000 full color screenshots and combos galore.

RYU

Jumping fierce

Standing fierce

Dragon Punch

47% damage

KEN

Quickly cancel into Hadoken — Quickly cancel into a Hadoken

Opponent still reeling... — Opponent still reeling…

A thing of beauty it is — A thing of beauty

E. HONDA

Jumping fierce

Standing strong

Ducking fierce

44% damage

Jumping fierce

Standing roundhouse (double hit)

42% damage

CHUN LI

Jumping fierce

Standing strong

Ducking roundhouse

39% damage

Jumping jab

Standing jab

Standing strong

Standing fierce

42% damage

BLANKA

Jumping roundhouse

Standing strong

Ducking roundhouse

41% damage

Jumping fierce

Ducking forward

Rolling Attack

44% damage

GUILE

Jumping fierce

Ducking strong

Standing strong

FLASH KICK

60% damage!

Jumping jab

Standing jab

Sonic Boom

Standing jab

Ducking short

47% damage

ZANGIEF

Jumping short

Ducking jab

Ducking short

SPINNING PILEDRIVER

63% (!!!) damage

Jumping fierce

Ducking strong

Ducking roundhouse

41% damage

DHALSIM

You slide under and take 'em out — You slide under and take ‘em out

Dhalsim is so skinny... — Dhalsim is so skinny…

... that he can even fit under a Hadoken! — … that he can even fit under a Hadoken!

It's effective against a fireball happy foe — It’s effective against a fireball happy foe

Here’s the classic roundhouse fireball “trap.”

Throw a fireball of any speed. When they jump, knock them out of the sky with a roundhouse kick!

You can harass opponents by throwing a jab fireball and then quickly executing a ducking fierce for an easy, almost unavoidable hit!

ENDINGS

Finish the game on levels 0-2 and you’ll be asked to challenge a harder level.

Levels 3-5 earns you your character’s ending.

Level 6 or 7 will display the credits. You also get to watch your favorite world warriors mix it up in a demo mode.

If beaten without ever changing characters

And should you not lose one round on level 7, then you can press start to make Chun Li say “Yatta!” (Japanese for I did it).

Let’s take a look at some of the endings.

RYU

BLANKA

GUILE

Please edit that out... — Please edit that out…

KEN

Damn all these beautiful girls... — Damn all these beautiful girls…

"See? She was with me first..." — *“See? She was with me…”*

"Who else have you been with?" — *“Who else have you been with?”*

Things got rather graphic... — Things get rather graphic…

“Oh, you’re getting married? Then prepare to be like me. You’ll be choking the chicken night and day, sir…”

Wait, what just happened? Uh, let’s just move on…

FIGHT FEVER

Everywhere you looked, Street Fighter II dominated — Everywhere you looked, *Street Fighter II* dominated

The pages (and covers) of EGM were dominated by Capcom’s 2D juggernaut. Every month there was page after page of coverage. Overkill? Quite possibly, but as EGM once wrote in an editorial, you go with what sells. And did Street Fighter II on the SNES sell or what! Sales for the first week set new records. Nearly everyone and their brother were drunk with Street Fighter II fever.

Soon thereafter came the clones. Many other companies started putting out their own fighting games in hopes of capturing lightning in a bottle and get their own slice of the pie. The years 1992-1994 were absolutely inundated by fighting games, and it was considered the “fighting game golden age.” I remember fondly a time where each time you visited the arcades, it felt like there was a new fighting game that popped up overnight like a pimple on prom night. It was an exciting and wild time if you loved fighting games as much as I did. But of course, very few came close to even sniffing the jock strap of Street Fighter II.

Here’s an excerpt from EGM’s September 1992 Insert Coin that captures that time frame in a nutshell quite well.

THE STREET FIGHTER II PHENOMENON

Could Street Fighter fever last forever? Yes, it could... — Could *Street Fighter* fever last forever? Yes, it could…

OK, by now virtually everybody in the country has the mega-hot Street Fighter II. Judging by the hundreds of letters we have already received, player satisfaction with this prime cart is at an all-time high. The impact of this game goes beyond just the software sales. Based on the letters we have received, literally thousands have bought Super Nintendos just to play this. SNK has just brought out a huge 87 meg fighting game called World Heroes, and we see no end in sight. How long will Street Fighter II stay popular? Most likely through the holidays. Or maybe forever. All in all, a big tip of the hat has to go to Capcom for all of the work they did in creating this phenomenon. This could be the Game of the Year!

EGM CREATES AN INTERNATIONAL MONSTER

When an innocent prank becomes legendary

EGM ran a joke in their April 1992 issue about how to fight a mysterious character named Sheng Long. Many thought this to be real including Hong Kong publication JADEMAN COMICS, who ended up printing the fake code. It later made its way to England’s GAME ZONE, who not only printed the code but updated it to supposedly work on the SNES port! Talk about lack of research…

The infamous Sheng Long April Fools joke became something of a legend and even infiltrated its way into Street Fighter II lore. EGM would go on to conduct annual April Fools jokes as a reader contest, but they never could quite recapture the magic like they had with the Sheng Long gag.

Check out this blurb from Super Play:

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

EGM: 10, 10, 9, 9 (won EGM’s 1992 Game of the Year)

GameFan: 100, 99, 97, 95, 88%

Super Play: 94%

CLOSING THOUGHTS

One of the most iconic and influential games ever

Street Fighter II was a happening. When it hit arcade scenes in early 1991 it changed the way we viewed video games. Sure, fighting games had existed before but it wasn’t until Street Fighter II that fighting games became a staple of the video gaming fabric. It spawned numerous clones, some of which were forgettable but a few became heavy fan favorites, and it was thanks to Street Fighter II for largely paving the way. The Super Nintendo port, while far from perfect, sure felt close to perfect back in the summer of ’92 when it originally came out. It was the first game that made me feel like we could finally play arcade games at home. Final Fight did a decent job of that, but there were too many blatant sacrifices. With Street Fighter II, however, it was a glimpse into the future that home systems were now JUST powerful enough to faithfully capture the spirit and essence of an arcade game. Moreover, I just remember the summer and fall of 1992 being dominated by SNES Street Fighter II, blistered thumbs and bruised egos. My friends and I played it to death — it was truly THE game to have back in those days.

Sure, there are far superior ports of Street Fighter II available today, and many do view the Super Nintendo port as obsolete and nothing but a nostalgic remembrance. Call me crazy but I still occasionally play this game and I’ll be damned if I don’t still love it. Even to this day, I find myself impressed by the port, knowing what they were able to squeeze into a Super Nintendo cartridge. Yeah it has the slow speed of the arcade original, and yeah it’s technically imperfect, but as a Super Nintendo game released in July of 1992, it was nothing short of a beast.

Keep on keeping on, Street Fighter — Keep on keeping on, *Street Fighter*

I feel very lucky that when the Street Fighter craze went down I was young enough to be awestruck yet just old enough to appreciate the magnitude of the event. Capcom hit lightning in a bottle, sparking a cross-cultural phenomenon. For every Hadoken shot around the world, every Dragon Punch, and for every Flash Kick, the Street Fighter legacy rocks on.

Graphics: 10
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 9

Overall: 10

Hats off to you, Capcom. We’ll never forget the memories of that special time in video gaming when fighting games were all the rage. A time when going to the arcades was the highlight of your week and everyone, truly, was kung fu fighting. No matter how old we shall grow, we’ll always remember those halcyon times and cherish those good old days forever.

King of the Monsters (SNES)

***Pub: Takara | Dev: Genki | October 1992 | 8 MEGS***

It’s early Christmas morning as I write this, and believe it or not, this game will forever be connected to Christmas. 24 years ago, in late December of 1992, my mom bought me King of the Monsters on the Super Nintendo. It was the first game she ever bought for me without first conferring with my brother. And it took something of a Christmas miracle to pull it off, so you can see my nostalgic desire to write about this game on this day. Sure, the SNES port was butchered. But the memories of this game live on to this very day. It was not only the first SNES game my mom ever bought for me but it was also one of the earliest arcade games I can remember experiencing. In fact, I remember it as if it only happened yesterday… *cue fuzzy flashback sequence*

***SOME TIME IN MID 1991***

The 2nd* arcade game I can remember playing was at Safeway with my brother, Kevin. It was like any other typical Tuesday night in the old neighborhood. The year was 1991. My bro and I tagged along with our dad to the local grocery store, doing our best to convince pops to buy us those delicious dinosaur fruit snacks. And if we were lucky, the WWF ice cream bars as well. We would be ecstatic if pops caved in to even just one of them. On this trip, no such luck however. We made our way to the end of a very long line. Kevin and I weren’t exactly the best behaved kids in the history of kids. Neither of us could stand still to save our lives. Unknowingly, it was a cunning strategy, for we spotted an arcade cab nearby in the corner where they sell the coal. Pops was more than happy to oblige, plopping two quarters in our hands, in exchange for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Off to the races we disappeared like two chalky ghosts in the night.

*The first arcade game I played was Street Fighter II.

When we arrived at the cab, I gazed up in amazement like it were the Sistine Chapel. What an amazing sight the Neo Geo MVS cab truly was. These were machines that housed four different SNK arcade games. I remember seeing Sengoku, a side scrolling beat ‘em up. But when I saw King of the Monsters for the first time ever, I knew I had found my match. It pitted six giant monsters against one another in a duel to the death. My brother and I were instantly sold. He picked the Ultraman clone, Astro Guy, while I chose the Godzilla lookalike, Geon. We played the tag team bedlam mode, which allowed me and my brother to team up simultaneously to rampage against two computer foes. Being an avid fan of Godzilla and monsters, I found myself enamored. My brother and I couldn’t shut up about it on the car ride home. That night I fell in love with King of the Monsters.

***DECEMBER 1991***

They scared and fascinated me all at once — Chuck E. Cheese’s was an awesome place for a kid to be

December 1991. My parents took me and my brother to our favorite place, Chuck E. Cheese’s, to celebrate the end of the year. My mother was rather strict so these rare opportunities where she allowed us to binge on our desires were not taken for granted! They ordered two large pizzas and got us 50 tokens. I knew where I was going to be for the rest of that night — at the King of the Monsters cab determined to beat it! It took me some time and way too many quarters to count but at last I did it, all while my mom sat back at the table eating unwanted leftover pizza crust and watching the whole thing go down.

This only took me an hour and about 5,000 quarters — This only took me an hour and about 500 quarters

I stepped back, drenched in sweat from wrestling with the joypad, and stared back at my mom who sat there smiling. I looked back at the arcade to watch the ending. My boy Rocky destroyed the news studio as a wide grin formed on my kisser. I recall thinking to myself, “I can’t wait for this to come home on the SNES!”

***DECEMBER 1992***

There was a certain magic in the air that night…

My mom and I used to go to the mall all the time. It was one of our traditions. She took me after school every Friday, rain or shine. I loved it because this was a time in life when the world was a different place. Even as young as 8, my mom allowed me to hit up my stores while she went shopping for clothes. This gave me a great sense of independence and for about 30 minutes I was on my own completely! I always visited Suncoast, Kay Bee Toys, Walden Books, Sam Goody, and of course, the classic SOFTWARE ETC.

Now rarely did she ever end up buying me anything once we reconvened, but that was never the point. It was fun enough thumbing through books, EGM magazines and drooling at the various action figures. It was the feeling that it produced. Just knowing you were on your own for half an hour made going to the mall a fun time. But the best times always came during Christmas season.

That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago... — That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago…

The mall Santa was there taking pictures, kissing babies and shaking little hands. At nine and a half years old now, I was too old for that stuff, but not old enough to not still believe in the magic of Christmas. So instead of sitting on Santa’s lap, I simply sat back from afar to admire what had been, and what once was.

My mom came over asking if I wanted to meet the mall Santa, but I told her I was too old. She looked at the kids rushing up to Santa just 20 feet away from us, lost in her thoughts. Somewhere in her aging face I saw her loosen up, as if she suddenly missed the days when I was that young scampering around. Perhaps it was the right kind of Christmas magic I’d need for what was about to transpire on that most magical December evening…

This was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

There it was, plastered in big and bold blue letters. I always made it a point to hit up SOFTWARE ETC. each time we visited the mall. Of course, I could only dream of my mom complying to buy me a video game. Still, like a moth to flame, those bold blue letters always sucked me in. I stood there that evening in sheer awe of the endless shelves of SNES goodies — games in which I could only dream of owning. And then, there it was. High on the shelf I saw it, shining like a beacon of light. KING OF THE MONSTERS for the Super Nintendo! It was just one short year ago that I’d beaten the arcade and thought to myself, “Man, I can’t wait for this to come home!” And now, it finally has. Only one problem, of course. How can I convince mom to buy it? Standing there, staring at the pristine shiny King of the Monsters box, my mind desperately raced through everything I could think of in order to weigh the odds in my favor.

I didn’t have very long to think…

“C’mon honey, we gotta get back home now.”

“WAIT!”

“What is it?”

What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?

“That…” I pointed to the King of the Monsters box sitting on the top shelf. “I want that.”

OK, so much for poetic language and convincing arguments.

My mom gave me “the look.” Uh oh. In the history of “momkind” the look has never been good news. Whether it was a look of frustration, disappointment or disgust, the look has denied kids an untold number of desserts, toys and video games. This task, I could tell, was going to be about as easy as Quantum Physics.

“Honey, that’s fifty five dollars.”

“No, it’s fifty four ninety nine!” I quickly countered. HA! I thought I had her — ahh, the bliss of being nine years old…

“Well actually with tax it’s about sixty,” she corrected.

Well DAMN. Talk about backfiring!

And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. My trump card. I explained to her how it was my favorite game, how I had to have it, and how much joy it would bring Kevin and me. And that if she bought it, it would count for not only my Christmas gift but also my birthday as well.

My mom grabbed the box to examine it closer. “Hey, isn’t this the game you played all night last year at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Is this the same one?”

It was just the right kind of Christmas magic I needed — It was just the right kind of Christmas magic needed

NOT QUITE THE KING…

Exactly. What could possibly go wrong? Well... — Exactly. What could possibly go wrong? Well…

Right away we noticed there was no Player 1 and Player 2 vs. CPU 1 and CPU 2 option. In other words, there was no tornado tag team mode — hands down the best thing about the game.

kotmcade — Disappointment city right off the bat

But hey, at least we get all six — But hey, at least we’ll get all six

Really love me some Woo! — And really love me some Woo!

The HELL?! What gives? Where was the King Kong wannabe, Woo? And what about the Smog Monster AKA Hedorah, where was his twin, Poison Ghost? So not only did Genki scrub the best mode of the game, but they also scrapped two of the six monsters. Man, was I disappointed.

But you know the funny thing? I was a kid and even I knew it was a pretty butchered port, but there was a big part of me that somehow managed to still enjoy it quite a bit. It was weird. So much of the game had been gutted, but it was still King of the Monsters in my living room. And, at the time, that accounted for something.

NOT JUST FLAVOR OF THE MONTH

In the early part of 1993, my mom took me to places like ROSS. I remember one time I brought the King of the Monsters manual with me. I walked up and down those aisles with my head buried in the booklet. As mediocre as the port was, I kind of became oddly semi-obsessed with it. Well, at least my mom got her sixty dollars’ worth, eh?

I studied the tactics over and over again... — I studied the tactics over and over again…

THE STORY GOES…

THE OBJECTIVE

THE MONSTERS

GEON
Special Attack: FLAME CRUSHER

When an ice glacier melted due to the abnormal warm weather in the Russian mountains, it unleashed the horror that is Geon. Unhappy to be roused from his deep slumber, he takes it out on anybody, or anything, that gets in his way. His hobbies include destroying cities and gobbling trains. The first character I selected, I have a soft spot for ol’ Geon. I tend to use him the most — his level 3 FLAME CRUSHER is quite a sight to behold.

No doubt a nod to the real King of Monsters

A little horny, the git [... -Ed.] — A little horny, the git *[… -Ed.]*

ROCKY
Special Attack: ROCKY BOMBER

No one knows for sure where this mountain of rocks comes from. Rumor has it Rocky is a monster evolved from the Sphinx, Egypt’s God of Protection. Others believe he descended from the stars, angry with the way 20th century mankind has mistreated the environment. But one thing is for sure, he’s got a nasty disposition! Don’t let this pile of stone fool you — how Rocky can move so well is a mystery. I like Rocky. He has a cool roar and was the monster I used to beat the arcade game 25 years ago. Guess we been through a lot over the years, eh, Rocko?

Delivers one hell of a running clothesline. Any wrestling fan would approve!

Level 2 rotates for extra velocity and power

Level 3 has only four, but still strong — Level 3 has only four, but it’s still just as strong

BEETLE MANIA
Special Attack: BEETLE MISSILE

An ordinary beetle residing in the Amazon, one fateful evening that all changed when the mad creature underwent a horrific and mysterious transformation. Lacking any kind of intelligence, he destroyed even the forest in which he was born! However, his skills are plenty. With a hard body shell and tremendous fighting spirit, Beetle Mania now roams the earth in search for the next great fight. Unfortunately it comes at the expense of civilization as we know it!

I thought it was deja vu... — I thought it was deja vu…

Beetle Mania was clearly based off Godzilla’s 1973 nemesis, Megalon. Like many others in the Godzilla universe, I too am a fan of the “one hit bug wonder.” It’s too bad he wasn’t resurrected for Godzilla: Final Wars like how his battle mate Gigan was, but I digress. I always found Megalon’s suit really cool.

Level 2 -- love that elegant green hue — Level 2 — love that elegant green hue

Level 3 Beetle Missile (that's a lot of antlers!) — Level 3 Beetle Missile (that’s a lot of antlers!)

ASTRO GUY
Special Attack: FLASH WAVE

Holding the distinct claim of being the only, uh, human, to a certain degree you understand, Astro Guy originally started out as a mad scientist. Naturally, through experimentation he transformed himself into a super musclebound creature to fight the monsters suddenly appearing all over the world. What began as noble intentions to protect cities and rid the world of monsters was soon corrupted by the absolute allure of having no equal. Now what his true intentions are is anyone’s guess…

Obviously inspired by SPECTREMAN! Ah, the tin wonder played a role in my childhood. I remember how bulky the cases were for the Spectreman tapes. It really caught your eye on the video store shelf. My dad bought me the one where he battles both an Alien and the “Monster Hedgehog.”

Ah, childhood memories — I got the bottom left one. Such weird movies they were!

The theme song was the best part

Spectreman… Spectreman…

In a flash, like a flame,
faster than a plane,
a mystery with a name,

Spectreman!

Power from space,
he’ll save the human race,
yet, they’ll never know the face of Spectreman!

We will never know the source
of his powers and his force
as he guides this planet’s course…

Spectreman!

And don't forget Jet Jaguar! — And Jet Jaguar!

THE GAME

You battle each monster twice. In the arcade this meant a grueling 12 rounds. At home it’s a much more manageable 8. And this is the only time I’m happy to see four monsters instead of the full six. Stage 1 is home to Geon, but since we’ve seen it already (see the screenshots above), let us jump straight to stage 2 where we take on Rocky.

The stages are based off real landmarks — The levels are based off real landmarks

As a kid I thought the stages were randomly constructed. Years later I came to realize they’re based on real life landmarks. Nice.

Osaka is gorgeous, isn't it? — Osaka is gorgeous, isn’t it?

Yes, some of these towering skyscrapers can be seen, and destroyed, in the two Osaka stages. With Okayama having no tall buildings really, switching over then to Osaka was a very welcome sight.

Just like 'em SOCK 'EM robots! — Just like ‘em *SOCK ‘EM* robots!

“Alright gentlemen. We went over the rules in the back but just to reiterate, I want a good clean fight, alright? That means no zapping below the belt. Remember, I’m fair but firm. Let’s touch gloves!”

Monsters love to play hide and seek too, apparently. Or hide and maul, as it were.

What's better than a piledriver? — What’s better than a piledriver?

Sending 'em through a building in the process! — Sending ‘em through a building!

Nothing was better than hitting a big move on your opponent and watching the poor hapless sap go crashing through one of the big monuments scattered about. Sure, you can demolish the big buildings with three punches yourself, but the real fun comes in the form of sending your rival through one!

Such a chivalrous gentleman, that Astro Guy

Adding insult to injury was always fun.

Wham, bam, thank you m'am — Wham, bam, thank you m’am

The classic GET UP severed hand remains. Continue and experience a jolt of power as your monster gets resurrected.

The throw inflicts the least amount of damage

But can easily sending them through a landmark! — But can easily send them through a landmark!

THE END ?

UNH, JUST THROW IT ON ME, UNH!

Does little damage but fun to do nonetheless

CHEAP TRICKS

*[Hey, they stole your dating philosophy -Ed.]*

Hit them with the strongest move in the game — the german suplex.

“What’s so cheap about this?”

For some ridiculous reason, this move leads to a re-dizzy. You can repeat this tactic 20 times in a row. No joke. Did someone not play test this thing? One might be thinking, “Well it must be pretty hard to dizzy them, right?” Not so. A few consecutive throws with their health bar on low does the trick. They get up in a daze, go behind them and press Y. Boom, german suplex. Then wait for them to get back up in a daze yet again, and repeat. For ultimate damage, while they’re on laying on the ground, unleash your special attack. Sometimes you can nail them twice with your projectile. Yikes.

The german suplex can also be applied in front during a grapple by pressing Y+B. But when your opponent is dizzy, simply pressing Y or B from behind works.

But hold on a second, if you thought THAT was cheap…

Unlike a fighting game, you can't block — Unlike a fighting game, you can’t block

No blocking means you're screwed — No blocking means you’re screwed

There’s only one answer to this, besides your opponent mistiming it. The Japanese military finally notches a small victory against giant rubber suited monsters!

GENKI RESPONDS

Hey thanks, Genki. Appreciate it. I hope you’re not just sucking up…

Genki dude: Of course not… oh, here’s some fruitcake — for you!

O_o

Genki dude: Uh the holidays, sir.

Ahhh. Si, si…

MISCELLANEOUS

Feel like it’s Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon all over again! Hmmm, come to think of it, seeing Godzilla and his buddies in a King of the Monsters universe would have been pretty cool. Imagine Godzilla and company in this style of game. I’m sure we would have ate it up! Well, at least we got Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen.

Rocky’s bite animation always reminded me of the robot bloke on the NES Mega Man 3 cover! You see the resemblance, don’t cha?

Speaking of resemblances... — Speaking of resemblances…

Whoa, striking, isn't it? — Whoa, striking, isn’t it?

Credit this wonderful art here to Nathan Newell and his excellent cool site nathansmuscleblog.blogspot.com/

That’s Black Hole Sunshine vs. Wood Beetle for the record, but damn do Rocky and Beetle Mania look like them!

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

It was all quiet on the western front. The game was released just before GameFan’s time and EGM only ran a quick one page preview. They ended up never reviewing it. Super Play rated it 79% though an actual review never appeared in the magazine. SNES King of the Monsters just never got much publicity. If only it did then maybe I wouldn’t have been so caught off guard with all the cuts!

I remember reading this little blurb over and over

GENESIS VS. SNES VERSIONS

Which port is better? I’ve never played the Genesis port but it does look damn impressive. Looks much more identical to its arcade brother than the SNES port does. How it plays though I have no idea. Released about one year after the SNES port, the tag team mode and two monsters are still missing, but everything else looks to be pretty good. Check the graphical differences between the Genesis and SNES ports below.

I'll take this over the eight small fireballs — I’ll take this over the eight small fireballs

Sound off below if you've played the Genesis port — Sound off below if you’ve played the Genesis port

GameFan gave the Genesis port some good loving with scores of 89, 87, 83 and 82%. “It blows the doors off the SNES version” and “makes it look like dog meat” were some of the comments recorded. The Genesis port was developed by SPS.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

King of the Monsters? Try King of the Mediocre — *King of the Monsters*? More like *King of the Mediocre*

The arcade original was released by SNK in Japan on February 25, 1991. By freak accident, exactly 15 years later, I bought the SNES port (for the second time but this time with my own money). Back in ’92 I recall having a strange fascination with the port despite my knowledge of how butchered it was. Replaying the SNES port in 2006, I wondered how much my opinion might change or not. Turns out not much has. It’s a port that was stripped of its best feature and a whopping 33% of its original cast. It should have been so much better, but what remains is kind of still King of the Monsters. It was never a perfect game to begin with. Some key aspects missing definitely accentuate the flaws but what’s left isn’t unplayable by any means. You just have to take it for what it is, or simply leave it. Still, I couldn’t help but enjoy playing it for 15-20 minutes. Perhaps if nothing else but for the nostalgia of that unforgettable Christmas 1992 season. I acknowledge this game is ho-hum at best, but it is admittedly something of a guilty pleasure for me.

The graphics are the best part of this game. Though grainy and lacking intricate detail in the monsters themselves, the cities look pretty fantastic, especially the ones at night. Each stage gives you plenty of space to roam within the confines of two electrical barriers. Sound and music is decent, fitting for this game which has a Japanese 1960’s B-Movie feel to it. Sadly, it’s the game play that abandons it. What could have been! First, the grapple system. Is it based on timing? No. Button mashing? Not that either. Nope, it appears that the victor is totally random. And thus, grappling is a wash and never feels wholly satisfying. Secondly, to win a match you must score a 3 count on your rival. But in order to do so, you must pin them multiple times after their health bar has been fully depleted. Let’s say you pound on Rocky for three minutes solid once his energy bar has hit zero before going for the cover. He’ll still kick out at 2 (in John Cena fashion). What gives? It makes no sense to have to pin them several times every single time. It’s rigged to be like this, and it feels incredibly cheap. You should be rewarded for kicking the snot out of them, but you’re not. And then you have the two erroneous gameplay tricks as documented earlier, in addition to the missing tornado tag team mode and monsters.

Speaking of the monsters, and this by the way was prevalent in the arcade game as well, the monsters are exactly the same! Well, aside from their special move and rushing attack. No differences in strength, speed, agility, or any of that good stuff. The moveset is severely limited — you’re relegated to a throw, german suplex, pile driver and a bear hug or a bite hold in a grapple. How cool would it be if the monsters had their own unique moves, to go along with speed and strength differences?

Love the Japanese '60s B-Movie feel — Love the Japanese ’60s B-Movie feel

Yet despite all these glaring flaws, I still kind of like the game in some small ways. Call it nostalgia, call it what you want, but there are some games you just have a connection with (for better or for worse). Though they’re far from being great, or even good, you still play them once in a blue moon because in some strange and small way you enjoy doing so. We all have a few games for which that rings true. Nobody can say exactly why someone would like it, except for that person, and that person alone. Yeah, part of me is still annoyed that Woo and Poison Ghost are nowhere to be found and that the tag mode was scrapped, but like a good longtime friend you accept them for who they are, warts and all.

Graphics: 7
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 5
Longevity: 4

Overall: 5.5

Hey you gypped us first! — Hey, you gypped us first, damnit!

Final Fight (SNES)

**Pub and Dev: Capcom | September 1991 | 8 MEGS**

Are you a sadistic and bloodthirsty game player? Do you enjoy partaking in the odd boisterous barbaric brutality? If you answered yes, then you sir probably enjoy the classic beat ‘em up genre. The SNES is loaded with them. Take control of the Lee brothers, the Battletoads, ninjas, knights, hell, even Batman! Final Fight was the very first to hit the SNES and helped pave the way for others to come. It’s hard to believe it’s now been over 25 years since it came out. It’s amazing how so many of our childhood favorites have been celebrating 20, 25 and even 30 year anniversaries in the past year or so. These games keep getting older, but our memories remain!

By the way, talk about a funky box art. I imagine their dialogue like this:

“Are those skull earrings?”
“Why yes, Mommy got me them.”
“Cool, I have a pair just like that at home.”
“Yeah ain’t they great. They accentuate my scar!”

THE FIGHT BEGINS

Final Fight originated as an arcade in Japan (December 1989) and shortly made its way to the US at the turn of the 1990s. No, it wasn’t the first beat ‘em up ever, but it was one of the earliest and the first to hit the Super Nintendo. It will forever hold that distinction as #1… but is it truly number one, as in the best?

Let us take a closer look then…

FINAL FRIGHT: A HAUNTING TO REMEMBER

Not only was Final Fight the first beat ‘em up to hit the Super Nintendo, it also happened to be the second SNES game I had ever played. Way back in December 1991 on a cold and dreary morning while vacationing in beautiful Lake Tahoe. As documented in F-Zero, the first SNES game I ever played, I found myself home alone on a Sunday morning in a huge cabin that my family rented out. My family and friends left for breakfast while I was still asleep. My mom didn’t want to wake me up after a long night of hanging out with the guys so she decided to let me sleep in. The moment I woke up, I felt a chill and knew something wasn’t right. The cabin was right out of a horror movie, with demonic looking hallways and weird noises hissing everywhere as though it were a real breathing entity. The cabin was freezing too! I crept downstairs and found a note from my mom explaining why she let me sleep in, and telling me to make some Honey Nut Cheerios. But food was the last thing on my mind!

Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold, dreary December morning of 1991. But being 8 years old and resourceful, I believed spirits would not mess with me if I had the radio or TV turned on — any kind of noise. I believed they only attacked those who were alone. So I turned on the TV and watched a WWF show for a while. Then I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. It suddenly dawned on me that this was my chance! With all the “cool” older kids gone, little ole me could finally have a turn. I started with F-Zero and then played Final Fight until my family and friends came back. Sure, part of me was ecstatic to see them again — I was no longer the lone prisoner trapped inside this cabin from hell — but something funny happened during my inaugural playthrough with the SNES. It made me forget about evil spirits and instead transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. And it was nothing short of magic.

Damn, can’t believe it’s now been 25 years since that fateful December morning. For more details, check out My Super Nintendo Genesis.

THE STORY GOES…

"Forget GUY, it's just you and me, old-timer!" — *“Forget GUY, it’s just you and me, old-timer!”*

Shhh! How dare you accuse Capcom of milking a series! — How dare you accuse Capcom of milking a series!

OK you might have have a point there... — OK you might have a point there…

Yes, there is an option mode but you had to do this code to activate it first. With Extra Joy on, your special move is just “A” instead of “Y” + “B” — hey, every little bit of help counts, right?

Nope, but damn can they fight... observe! — Nope, but damn can they fight… observe!

MIKE HAGGAR

Haggar has perfected his German Suplex to a tee, ramming his victim head first into the canvas. That’ll give them something to remember you by! Er, that is, if they are still conscious…

Pick their sorry carcass up, give them a few headbutts and send them packing with a smooth piledriver. Simple but effective combo.

Sometimes you just need a little space. In such instances, employ the devastating spinning clothesline. It’ll teach the bastards a thing or two about personal space!

Did you know you can punch twice then immediately throw them? Just hold up or down on the control pad while you’re delivering your punches. I never knew about this back in the day! It completely makes the game a much easier (and more enjoyable) experience. It turns you into a lethal, efficient killing machine.

CODY

Cody’s knuckle sandwich combo. Want fries with that?

For major damage and a sick looking combo, jump in with a downward strike, punch them three times and polish it off with a shoulder throw. +10 for style, +100 if you knock out some other baddies on the opposite side too!

Cody's Spiral Kick makes the Lee brothers proud — Cody’s Spiral Kick makes the Lee brothers proud

MAP QUEST

Starting out in the classic slum, march your way through crime-ridden Metro City in five different war zones. Yes, the arcade had six. But more on that a bit later…

PUTS THE “FINAL” IN FINAL FIGHT…

Who could ever forget Final Fight‘s perilous continue screen?

It's OK... you certainly weren't alone... *evil grin* — It’s OK… you certainly weren’t alone… *evil grin*

Ah quit yer bitching, I like to cut it close "BUDDY" — Ah quit yer bitching. I like to cut it close, *“BUDDY”*

STAGE ONE — THE SLUM

So, what's one to do? — So, what’s one to do?

Maybe Haggar’s got some candy there, or money. You know, the homeless epidemic has really hit Metro City hard as of late…

[Or maybe Haggar is offering him a black eye -Ed.]

There’s that, too…

"That's the last time I buy deodorant at Dollar Tree..." — *“That’s the last time I buy deodorant at Dollar Tree…”*

What's inside is enTIREly a mystery. Sorry — What’s inside is enTIREly a mystery

Sorry, that was pretty bad. Knock over tires or drum cans to reveal items for extra points, weapons or food to replenish your health. I wonder who puts it there? I guess every major crime lord has a little bit of heart in them after all…

Whoa, that's harsh. Come on, it's almost 2017! — Whoa, that’s harsh. Come on, it’s almost 2017!

"If you want some, come get some!" — *“YOU WANT SOME? COME GET SOME!”*

"I'm warning you -- step back, bitches!" — *“I’m warning you — step back, bitches!”*

OH CRAP! Surrounded by a group of petty thugs, what’s a guy to do in this ruthless day and age?!

Connecting on your special move takes away a small portion of your health, but it’s the right call when surrounded. Otherwise, you’ll most likely be on the receiving end of a gang attack and lose significantly more energy than you would had you used your special move at the first sign of trouble.

Haggar can only toss the knife while Cody can actually hang onto it for a bit and go MICHAEL MYERS up in this mutha! Cool little touch to further differentiate the two. If you’re playing as Cody and wish to launch the knife, then simply hold down. Sweet.

"Here, fatty fatty..." — *“Here, fatty fatty…”*

Much love and respect to baseball pitchers. It’s such an unnatural throwing position and why so many pitchers have jacked up shoulders. By the way, it’s a little known fact that Mike Haggar was the MVP of the Metro City Maniacs* — a softball recreational league that plays ball every other summer. *Complete and utter BS.

Talk about the wrong side of town... — Talk about the wrong side of town…

*whistles* "Damn you look fine today, Mike!" — *whistles* “Damn you look fine today, Mike!”

Say hello to the first boss, Damnd! Er I mean, Trasher. Damn that censorship, pun intended.

At any rate, Damnd is a bit of a puss who prefers calling on his lame lackeys to do the fighting for him. His trademark sit and whistle makes the seamless leap over to the SNES port. At opportune times, Damnd will try to blindside you, the gutless git!

"Come at me, bro!" — *“Come at me, bro!”*

“UGH!”

“That’s right! Shouldn’t have messed with me, pal!”

Hey, he minored in acting — Hey, he did minor in acting

“How could I lose to a guy in the middle of a mid-life crisis!?”

“HEY! SHHHH! Keep that on the down low, will ya!”

“Damnd bastard! Throwing shade at me huh? This serves you right!”

"Trump woulda killed me anyway" — *“Trump woulda killed me anyway!”*

“Jeez would you go on and die already!?”

STAGE TWO — THE SUBWAY / PARK

Nice rumbling sound effect; this IS the SUPER Nintendo — I’ve always loved the rumbling sound effect here

El Gado with the ol’ reliable KIDNEY PUNCH.

… and Hags with the even more reliable sword slash!

Check out how deceptively deep this game is. Yup, when timed right, you can deflect the enemy’s projectiles. Sure, you could just sidestep it, but we all know one universal truth: REAL MEN DROPKICK!

Cue that audience "ooooh" soundtrack — Cue that audience *“ooooh”* soundtrack

Public transportation makes the world a better place — *Public transportation: making the world a better place*

I guess he never knew up in a big family... — I guess he never grew up in a big family…

Sodom, er, Katana is a very lethal and agile boss

Andore in the front row. I'll deal with him later... — Andore in the front row. I’ll deal with him later…

BONUS ROUND

WHOAAA OHHHHH!

We’re not gonna take it! No! We ain’t gonna take it! We’re not gonna take it anymooooooore!

NO WAY!

"WE'RE FREE, WE'LL FIGHT, YOU'LL SEEEE!!" — *“WE’RE FREE, WE’LL FIGHT, YOU’LL SEEEEE!!”*

Ah, you gotta love Twisted Sister. Their cult song “We’re Not Gonna Take It” became something of a rebellious cry for teenagers and young adults in the mid ’80s with its never-say-die, take-no-BS mantra. In some circles it became the anthem of a generation more than 30 years ago.

STAGE THREE — WESTSIDE

Haggar, you don't like very many things do you? — Haggar, you don’t like very many things do you?

Forgot to RSVP? As long as you didn’t forget how to pull off a dropkick, you’re good to go.

Gado isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer *rimshot* — Gado isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer *rimshot*

Cody pops in for a special cameo like only he can

They told him don't you ever come around here — *They told him don’t you ever come around here*

SO BEAT IT! No one wants to be defeated... — **SO BEAT IT! But you want to be bad…**

These two Andores are the sub-bosses of Westside

Speaking of Andore, the big beefy goons in beat ‘em ups were always my favorite kind of enemies to fight. Abobo was an actual boss while Andore is a top-tier regular enemy. I have a soft spot for bad guys who aren’t quite boss-worthy, but are much tougher than all the other regular bad guys. Whenever I think “beat ‘em up baddies,” Andore and Abobo are the first two I always think of.

J moonlights as a Streets of Rage baddie... it's true — J moonlights as a *Streets of Rage* baddie… it’s true

There you go Haggar! Now you got the rhythm down! — There ya go Haggar! Now you got the rhythm down!

Meet Metro City's corrupt police force! — Meet Metro City’s corrupt police force!

Beware his Billy Club... — Beware his Billy Club…

STAGE FOUR — BAY AREA

“WOOF!”

“Cute dog.”

“Hey Haggar!”

“What? Have I taken one too many blows to the head? Doggie, YOU TALKIN’ TO ME?”

“You’re lucky! Capcom took out a WHOLE stage to make life easier for ya, and for them as well! You know, less programming on their part.”

"Sorry pal, I don't swing that way..." — *“Don’t let the mustache fool you. I don’t play that…”*

Nobody did bathroom scenes better than Capcom. Remember Birdie’s stage from Street Fighter Alpha 2? It’s always a riot to beat up bad guys against a grimy and dodgy looking backdrop! This is FINAL FIGHT after all, not friggin’ ballet!

Capcom certainly knew how to work their restrooms

Yeah let's not piss off the angry maniac, no? — Yeah let’s not piss off the angry maniac, no?

BONUS ROUND

Smash several glass windows in succession. It’s a lot tougher than breaking the car. Who knew glass could be harder to demolish than a car? Oh those silly Capcom hipsters.

STAGE FIVE — UPTOWN

"Curse my bloody mid-life crisis!" — *“Curse my bloody mid-life crisis!”*

Neither of them are too smart... — Neither of them are too smart…

They don't really hide in the hedges. Just a flunky glitch — They don’t really hide in the hedges. Just a glitch

Shouldn't have dropped out of Metro City High... — Shouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City High…

*[Gee, thanks for the helpful tip, Einstein! -Ed.]*

Watch out for the shattered glass. See what happens? OH CRAP, HAGGAR’S LEGS! It proves that broken glass isn’t safe at all. [Maybe you shouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City Community College -Ed.]

As they say, this ain't his first barbeque! Quite literally — This ain’t his first barbeque — quite literally

Or even better, you get to pick your own path! Not — Or even better, if you could pick your own path

Say hello to the final boss, Belger. He must be real happy to see Haggar, because he’s got a second arrow gun hiding in his pocket there…

Jessica has no eyes. Damn, Haggar with them freaky genes. Belger is a handful, but you can actually grab and throw him consecutively if timed and positioned correctly.

A neat touch. Belger really only cares about himself

[Hmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.] — *[Hmmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.]*

'TIL THEN I WAAALK ALONE — ***‘TIL THEN I WAAALK ALONE***

It doesn't take much for a lady to be, ahem, persuasive — It doesn’t take much for a lady to be… persuasive

ARCADE VS. SNES COMPARISON

Fans of Guy were bummed out to find he was nowhere to be found in the SNES port. Capcom then released Final Fight Guy on the SNES in July 1994. This version allowed you to play as Guy but Cody was taken out and there’s still no simultaneous 2 player mode. What the hell, Capcom? Shame on you.

We hardly knew ya, two player mode *sniff*

More disappointing than losing Guy was losing the 2 player mode. Early beat ‘em ups like Rival Turf proved it was possible. Even with one player, Final Fight occasionally slows down to a crawl at certain points. Capcom didn’t quite yet master the ins and outs of the SNES in 1991, but as we all know, they soon would in the years to come.

Elevators were modified. You don’t actually see your character ride through the elevator in the SNES port.

Metro City ought to look decayed and decrepit

Obviously the SNES could only replicate so much of the arcade. Of all the little details I personally missed the rundown jagged wooden set piece there. Baddies remain the same for the most part though, sans one major change. But more on that later.

"Excuse me sir, do you by chance have any Mentos?" — *“Excuse me sir, do you by chance have any Mentos?”*

SNES couldn’t have the word “SEXY” sprawled across their bathroom doors, could they? Instead, they have the word “kiss.” Come on, Capcom! At least change it up completely. How about something like “Mad Gear rules!” Sure, it’s super generic, but it’s still a lot better than just “kiss.”

The SNES port sees a maximum of three baddies onscreen at any one time. The arcade had as many as eight! Obviously, you can’t expect much on this end. There were many 16-bit beat ‘em ups that maxed out at three bad guys.

Here’s the missing fourth stage: the Industrial Zone. It’s very tough and I’m fine without it, but it does lose points for pure authenticity. Oh, see the scantily clad broad there?

"Ch-ch-ch-changes!" — *“Ch-ch-ch-changes!”*

Roxy and Poison were way too controversial for Nintendo of America, so Capcom altered it to be this lame looking bloke instead. Sid and Billy, sorry to say this but y’all just weren’t the same.

Rolento did show up in Final Fight 2, though — Rolento did show up in *Final Fight 2*, though

Rolento, being the boss of the scrapped Industrial Zone, is also MIA.

Belger returned as a zombie in Final Fight Revenge

Belger didn’t change much in the SNES port. Though in the arcade he actually had a wheelchair while in the SNES port it looked more like a mobile love seat, which would suit Jessica just fine I’m sure [OH LORD! The images… AHHH! -Ed.]

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Being one of the earliest SNES releases, some critics were kind enough to overlook its deficiencies. Many fans, however, were not as forgiving.

EGM: 8, 7, 7, 7

Super Play: 86%

"Yeah, don't be so damnd hard!" — *“Yeah, don’t be so Damnd harsh!”*

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"UMM... any one of you happen to be BIGDICK69?" — *“UHH… any one of you boys happen to be BIGDICK69?”*

The Super Nintendo port of Final Fight is undoubtedly flawed. No 2 player mode, no Guy, an entire missing stage and only up to three enemies on the screen at any one time. It sounds like a lot is missing but when you actually play it, it still comes off a quality beat ‘em up. The gameplay is still there and when you consider this was one of the earliest SNES releases, the whole thing somehow manages to come off as impressive. Those visuals were mind blowing back in 1991. You had to see it 25 years ago to truly appreciate it. I mean, the characters were HUGE for the time, and I remember thinking to myself, “Where the hell is the coin slot?” As kids obviously we didn’t know any better. Nowadays it’s easy to see what the shortcomings are, but for an early launch game Final Fight impressed. The sound effects had a nice crunch to them and it did bring a lovely arcade feel home to our living rooms.

For all of its shortcomings, Final Fight still plays remarkably well. Compared to other SNES beat ‘em ups that came out later, Final Fight plays as well if not better than a good handful of them. It’s one of those weird games that you kind of have to grade on a bit of a curve. Viewed strictly in a bubble of its release date — September 1991 — this was a quality product, despite the missing elements. It’s not the first SNES beat ‘em up I reach for when I’m in the mood to kick some 16-bit ass, but I have to admit I do enjoy playing it still to this day because the gameplay has held up 25 years later. If it had a 2 player mode it would earn an even better score but as is, it’s still pretty good. Hardcore anal fans need not apply, however. This one ain’t for you. For the rest of us, you could play far worse beat ‘em ups on the Super Nintendo than Final Fight.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 6

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Santa Haas

My favorite TV show growing up was The Wonder Years. One of my favorite episodes from that show was “A Very Cutlip Christmas.” As I write this, it’s Christmas Eve 2016. I’m reminded of this excellent episode which I’m replicating below.

Following the episode recap, I’ll share a story of my former 8^th grade language arts teacher, Ms. Haas. In a lot of ways, Ms. Haas and Coach Cutlip reminded me of each other. These are stories about peer pressure, standing up for what you believe in, and the indomitable human spirit.

I hope you enjoy.
Merry Christmas!
-Steve

A VERY CUTLIP CHRISTMAS

When you were a kid, it's simple. Christmas IS magic — When you were a kid, it’s simple. *Christmas IS magic*

It’s a time of miracles. When reindeer can fly and Frosty never melts.

Then you get older. Somehow… things change. The magic begins to fade.

Until something happens that reminds you… at Christmas time, miracles still can be found. Sometimes in the most unexpected places.

Ed Cutlip. Better known as Coach Cutlip to his students at RFK. He was a robotic man who rarely showed any kind of emotion, and worked a relentless whistle. It was December of 1970. He was Scrooge in a baseball cap.

“In my grasp, I have a message from Richard Millhouse Nixon. Our chief executive has entrusted me, as a physical educator, to see that you men are AT or ABOVE the national average. Over the next several days, we will be doing chin-ups, pushups, situps, shuttle runs and more. You men will be ready for the President’s All-American National Athletic Test.”

After a grueling workout, the guys were talking in the locker room.

“Man, if only we had some dirt to take down Cutlip!” Tommy said.

A sweaty Doug croaked, “The man’s a monster!”

One thing’s for sure, Coach Cutlip was certainly lacking the holiday cheer.

Later that day my mom took me to the Brightland Mall. All around me I saw blatant cheap Christmas consumerism. What happened? Then, I heard it.

“HO HO HO!”

I looked over my shoulder and saw the mall Santa. There, a long line full of little kids awaited their turn patiently. In its own tacky way, it reminded me of what I had been missing.

But as I was sitting there, a funny feeling overcame me. Why did the mall Santa seem so familiar? And then it hit me…

It was CUTLIP!

Likewise, he spotted me. He jumped up, embarrassed, and ran to his shack for cover. It was horrible. It was BEYOND horrible. The first time I had seen a teacher outside school, he was stuffed with a pillow.

The next day at school I tried to block out the disturbing images. Luck be my lady, who bumped into me in the hallway?

“Ah, morning Arnold.”

I looked up at him, trying to read his expression. Had he really seen me at the mall, and did I really see him? I decided to engage in some small talk with the man.

“So, how are we?”

“Good. Yourself?”

“Great.”

He wasn’t even looking at me. His eyes were trained on a clipboard as he jotted down some notes casually.

“Any, uh, adventures since I last saw you, Arnold?”

“Um, no, not really. Well, I did go shopping at the Brightland Mall…”

Cutlip shot up like a jack in the box. “Oh?”

“Uh huh.”

“Never been there myself. I don’t get out that far.”

*Bell rings*

“See you in gym, Arnold.”

And with that, he walked away. Wow, maybe I imagined the whole thing at the mall. Was this just one big miscalculation? Feeling full of holiday cheer, I shouted “Merry Christmas sir!”

Then he turned around. And right then, it hit me.

There were moments in my life which I regretted. I knew this was one of those moments.

That day in gym, I knew it was D-Day. I KNEW TOO MUCH. He was going to lash out on me, make me his whipping boy.

In his typical firm manner, Coach Cutlip called me out during gym class.

“Kevin Arnold.”

I cautiously walked toward him, with all my classmates watching. “Yes sir?”

“Why don’t you keep time?” he handed me his stop watch, smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder like a father figure.

And then I realized… KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

But my friends — that was another matter. While I had it made, they were sweating and suffering. After class, they called me a turncoat, a teacher’s pet, even worse — “Cutlip in training.”

I knew they were right. There was only one thing to do.

“I have to tell you something, Mr. Cutlip.”

“Please, call me Ed.”

But before I could go on, he offered me a piece of paper.

“What’s this?”

“It’s my personal permission slip, you don’t have to take the National Athletic test.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t want to be your time keeper. I don’t want to sit out. I –“

“Say no more,” he interrupted sternly. He came close to my face. “I see how it is, Arnold. I played a little ball in my life, too. I’ll see you in GYM.”

He ripped the note into pieces. And that was that.

Later that week, I was going off on Cutlip during lunch time with the guys.

“He’s making my life a mess, just because I saw him working at the Brightland Mall!”

Doug perked up. “Cutlip works at the Brightland Mall?”

Before I could say anything, a girl passed me a note.

I sat there at his mercy. I had no idea what kind of torture I was in store for. I saw him reaching in his desk. He was going to pull out a knife, a bat, or possibly a gun.

"Here, have some fruitcake." — *“Here, have some fruitcake”*

“Huh?”

“20 percentage employee discount. You know, Arnold, to a man who’s devoted his entire life to public education, the opportunity to buy whole sale is nothing to laugh about. HAHAHAHA.”

“May I go now?”

“Wait, that’s not the only reason I’m working at the mall. My mother — Esther Cutlip. If it weren’t for my help there’s no telling what kind of catatonic state the woman might fall into.”

“… That’s nice, sir.”

I wanted the bell to ring, the fire alarm, an earthquake, anything…

“Tell me Kevin… have you ever been inside a Santa outfit?”

This was reaching critical mass!

“It’s hot, and it’s SWEATY.”

I couldn’t take it any longer. “STOP! I don’t want your fruitcake, or hear about your mother. It’s none of my business! I’m not gonna tell anyone you work at the mall so let’s just drop it, OK?”

I had enough. I was sick of this game. I headed for the door. And then…

"Arnold... kids like me when I'm Santa" — *“Arnold… **kids like me when I’m Santa…**“*

And right then, for the first time, I saw the man as a human being. Not a great human being, maybe not even a good human being, but a very lonely human being.

“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me, Mr. Cutlip.”

Going home on the bus that day, I was feeling pretty good. Until I saw Doug, Tommy and Randy anyhow. I had already spilled the beans.

“C’mon Kevin, where does he work? Orange Julius?”

“Forget it, I’m not gonna say.”

“That’s cool… we’ll just go look for him. How hard can it be?”

Were these guys serious or what! I knew what I had to do…

“What are you doing here, Arnold? You’re not going to sit on my lap are you?”

“No!”

“Good, because you know you’re too old, right?”

“Look, I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“I kinda slipped and told some guys you work at the mall. They’re coming to look for you any minute now. I think you better just hide out in your shack until this whole thing blows over.”

In the distance I saw the wolf pack marching over

"No can do, Arnold" — *“No can do, Arnold”*

“What?”

“Let them come if they must. I AM WHO I AM.”

With that, he stood up tall and proud. I’ll always remember that look on his face.

He was at once heroic…

“Move along, Arnold.”

I made my way to the guys, helpless, outnumbered.

And then, it happened.

First, Doug stared directly into the eyes of the man who had taught him gym for three long years.

Then Randy and Tommy looked long and hard.

Those three skeptics gazed straight into the eyes of Coach Cutlip not thirty feet away.

But all they saw…. was Santa Claus.

"C'mon guys, let's keep looking," Doug ordered — *“C’mon guys, let’s keep looking,”* Doug ordered

It was a miracle. He stood there like some patron saint. And for that brief moment of Christmas magic, Ed Cutlip got to be all that he ever wanted.

—

STANDING UP FOR MS. HAAS

It was Spring of ’97. I was in the 8^th grade. Our language arts teacher Mr. Simon was replaced by Ms. Haas mid-year. Family matters forced Mr. Simon to move out of state. Everyone loved him. In retrospect, I guess Ms. Haas never stood a shot.

She was the strict, serious type while Mr. Simon was more of a big brother — goofy, fun and graded pretty easy. Ms. Haas on the other hand was a tough grader. She was in her mid 30’s but already had a balding spot which my classmates often poked fun at (behind her back, of course).

So, pretty much everyone hated her guts. I kinda liked her, though. Though she was a hard grader, she was fair. And I respected that. I respected HER.

One day during SSR (Silent Sustained Reading, which we had for 20 minutes) there was a note being passed around. I noticed each one of my classmates writing something down on that piece of paper. I was the last one to receive it.

It was a petition. A petition to fire Ms. Haas.

IF YOU WANT MS. HAAS REMOVED, SIGN HERE

There were 25 plus signatures. The kid sitting closest to me — Andre — noticed my hesitation to sign.

“C’mon man. Sign it already.”

I looked over at Ms. Haas sitting in the corner, reading a book. Had she noticed this piece of paper going around that demanded her immediate removal? She had a stoic look on her face, so I couldn’t tell, yet… she ALWAYS had a stoic look on her face… as though someone sucked the life out of her many many years ago.

I looked back at the petition. I skimmed through the signatures. According to my count, everyone had signed it. EVERYONE.

Except me.

Andre nudged me on the shoulder. “Yo man, you gonna sign it or what?”

I clearly recall to this day asking myself this question: “Does Ms. Haas deserve to be fired?”

To me, the answer was no, so… I put the pen down.

“Yo man, what are you doing?”

“I ain’t signing it.”

“What? Are you crazy? You actually like her?”

I glanced over to see if she had noticed this commotion. “She’s cool.”

“Man, you’re crazy,” he grimaced, snatching the petition away from me.

The rest of SSR I didn’t read. I kind of sat there with my eyes transfixed on the same paragraph, thinking about what just went down. I stood up for what I believed in. I wondered if Ms. Haas was aware at all that 97% of her students wanted her fired. I couldn’t tell from my vantage point, so I crumpled up a piece of paper as an excuse to get near her desk.

As I approached the wastebasket, I caught a glimpse of her face peeking right below her book. And what I saw that day I would never forget. Her eyes were red and watery. Ms. Haas was crying. She looked up to see me approaching and quickly wiped her eyes. I immediately looked away and hustled back to my seat, my crumpled paper still in hand.

After class (it was my last class of the day) my mom drove me home. I convinced her to drive me right back. I just had to pick up my boom box. At the time, Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” was a huge sensation, and I had the crazy notion that maybe, just maybe, it might cheer up Ms. Haas.

The campus was eerily quiet as I made a beeline toward Ms. Haas’ classroom around 3:30. As I entered, I saw her sitting at her desk in the corner. Her eyes were still red, and crumpled tissue paper could be seen strewn about her desk.

“Oh, hey Steve, what are you doing here?” she stammered. Ms. Haas was completely caught off guard.

And suddenly, so was I.

For a second there I didn’t know what to say! What was I doing back here? I figured then and there that I must have been a sight for sore eyes, boombox and all!

“I just wanted you to listen to this cool new song. I don’t know… I thought maybe you might like hearing it.” Wow, that came out smooth, Steve. Way to go.

By the way, looking back, I had no idea about the 1989 film Say Anything or the scene where John Cusack holds the boombox over his head to woo his crush. I guess from Ms. Haas’ perspective, she might have had an awkward flashback there… totally not my intent!

Ms. Haas gave me what could only be described as a perplexed half smile, completely unsure what to make of the situation. Plugging the cord into the socket, I pondered briefly about whether this whole thing was wise or not. Alas, there was simply no turning back now. I hit PLAY and stepped back, waiting for the track to begin. Needless to say, those 2-3 seconds felt like an eternity. I stared at the boombox on the ground, too shy to look up at Ms. Haas. She was probably doing the same. I’ll never know for sure, as I kept my eyes on that boombox for all dear life. At last the lyrics began filling Ms. Haas’ 8^th grade classroom, wall to wall.

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin’ on the block for dough
Notorious they got to know that
Life ain’t always what it seem to be
Words can’t express what you mean to me
Even though you’re gone we still a team
Thru your family I’ll fulfill your dreams
In the future can’t wait to see if you’ll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it’s real feelings hard to conceal
Can’t imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin’ your life after death

At some point during the song I managed to muster the courage to look up and see Ms. Haas’ expression. She had a funny look on her face as the song continued on. The lyrics reverberated throughout the classroom.

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I’ll be missing you

By the time the song ended, you would never guess that Ms. Haas had been crying earlier that day at all.

“Oh my God,” she started. “This song… it was originally the Police’s…”

I didn’t get it. “The police owns this song?” I imagined donut-eating cops.

Ms. Haas chuckled.

“Steve, I’m going to date myself here but the Police was a band a good number of years ago led by a guy named Sting. In 1983 they had a smash hit called EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. The background music from that song, well, it’s exactly the same background as this new song!”

Ms. Haas went on tell me a story about how she grew up a HUGE fan of the Police. One time they came to her town and she and her best friend got tickets to the show. But a day before Ms. Haas got herself grounded. However, with the help of her best friend, a trusty rope and a two-story window, she managed to sneak out and make the show. It hit me right then and there that Ms. Haas was once vibrant, and full of life.

You're a sneaky one, Ms. Haas! — You’re a sneaky one, Ms. Haas!

Ms. Haas was human, too. Very human, in fact. More than we knew.

And right before my very eyes, Ms. Haas became full of life again. Her eyes sparkled as she regaled me with the greatest tale from her youth. And for those few couple minutes, I saw a side of Ms. Haas that no other 8^th grader had ever seen before. Ms. Haas was not only smiling, the woman was practically beaming.

“I know it’s hard to believe, Steve, but trust me, in MY day I was quite the little rascal.”

We both shared a good chuckle. I left school that day with a completely brand new perspective of my 8^th grade language arts teacher. Ms. Haas was more than Mr. Simon’s fill-in replacement. Ms. Haas was more than a strict educator in her mid 30’s, victimized by a premature balding spot. Ms. Haas was a woman who had seen the ups and downs of life. And for that, I respected her all the more.

The following week, Ms. Haas announced to the class that she was leaving. In a weird way, the 8^th grade students got their wish after all, but I knew that Ms. Haas went out swinging on her own. It was her call, and hers alone. At least, that’s the way I like to think of it, and I’m sticking to my story, no pun intended. Of course, we were all leaving as well. We had four years of high school to look forward to. Everyone was moving on to the next chapter in their lives. It only seemed fitting. I remember looking at Ms. Haas that day as she made her announcement. She looked right back at me. There was no cliché Hollywood wink or gesture exchanged, but I know in my heart of hearts that Ms. Haas was finally at peace. And I know that we both said to each other, in our own unique and silent way, “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

I still think about Ms. Haas from time to time and that fateful day I re-entered her classroom armed with a boombox and Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You.” Sometimes I wonder where Ms. Haas is today. I like to think she’s off somewhere, in her own little corner of the world, at peace. Perhaps she and her best friend are living next door, with their Sting posters proudly draped over their bedroom walls. Perhaps Ms. Haas is married now with a family to call her very own. Wherever she may be, I just hope she’s happy.

Teachers come and go. But a select few you never forget. Life lessons can come in a wide variety of forms. Ms. Haas taught me indirectly the importance of standing up for what you believe in. Even when everyone else is going in the other direction. The popular choice isn’t always the right choice.

Thank you, Ms. Haas.

Some teachers you never forget... — This is dedicated to all the GREAT teachers out there!

Sneaking out to concerts, eh? Rock on, Ms. Haas!

Super Mario Kart (SNES)

**Pub and Dev: Nintendo | September 1992 | 4 MEGS**

Man, Super Mario Kart. Where do I begin? The Super Nintendo is loaded with awesome games; my memories with this system run long and deep. Super Mario Kart not only ranks as one of the very best, but it also gave me and my gaming buds countless epic memories. It was a brilliant idea — take Mario, his chums and throw them in a crazy, zany go-kart world. It was instant Nintendo magic. And the rest, as they say, is history. As clearly evident by the success the Mario Kart franchise would go on to enjoy, Nintendo caught lightning in a bottle.

THE NIGHT IT CAME BACK HOME

The return of Super Mario Kart — THE RETURN OF *SUPER MARIO KART*

On April 9, 2006, I reacquired Super Mario Kart by trading my copy of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Limited Tin Edition). Only 40,000 were ever made. My girlfriend at the time bought it for me in 2004. Two years later, I turned it into Super Mario Kart, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time, Streets of Rage and Streets of Rage 2. The tin edition was going for roughly $25-$30 at the time. It goes to show you how great the retro gaming market was back in 2006. I made the deal with a nice guy off DigitPress. While I’m a big fan of the Halloween films, I couldn’t pass up on this golden opportunity to get four of my favorite childhood video games in one fell swoop.

Thanks for the steal, Mikey! Uh, we *ARE* cool, right? — Thanks for the steal, Mikey! Uh, we ***ARE*** cool, right?

THE NEW KINGS ON THE BLOCK

Super Mario Kart made my bro and me the hit of the town — *Super Mario Kart* turned my bro and me into gods

It was 24 years ago that my brother and I made the best trade of our gaming lives. Exchanging Death Duel for Super Mario Kart instantly made us kings of our neighborhood. All the kids living nearby came flocking to our place weekend after weekend, month after month. Being the only ones who owned the game, our quaint little home morphed into a madhouse as we had friends coming and going nonstop. Even now, whenever I close my eyes and listen closely, I can still hear the incessant chiming of my childhood doorbell. As a kid I would lay there in bed on lazy Sunday mornings trying to enjoy my peace and quiet. No such chance of that. By 8:45 every Sunday morning, like clockwork, Ben and our other friends were banging down our door. We were truly the new kings on the block.

FLASHBACK TO CHRISTMAS 1992

Talk about turning chicken shit into chicken salad…

Christmas ’92 proved to be one for the record books. In addition to my mom buying me King of the Monsters, that same year our uncle bought us Death Duel. I remember the ad from EGM. It looked cool and all, but honestly, my brother and I were a bit disappointed. Of all the games on our wish list, Death Duel certainly wasn’t even in the top 20. We tried not to complain though as our mom always taught us to be grateful and that any gift was better than none at all. Still, Kevin and I went home that night talking about how awesome it would be if Death Duel magically transformed into Super Mario Kart instead (the game that topped our Christmas wish list). It was rare that my brother and I both wanted the same game — he was a “mainstream” guy while I was more fond of the obscure underdog titles. However, Super Mario Kart transcended all of that. It was just that kind of game.

Good thing my brother was still only 11 at the time!

And then, as we were talking, an epiphany struck us. We suddenly recalled the ad for Death Duel in EGM. We pulled out the latest EGM issue that we had bought weeks earlier and madly flipped through it in search of our great loophole. Ah, there it was. Not suggested for children under 14. I was only nine and my brother was 11. My brother wouldn’t be able to play Death Duel for another three years! And five for me! Not that we couldn’t break the rules but when the rules benefit you, why not follow them?

After showing the ad to our mom, just as we predicted she would, she promptly called our uncle to explain the situation and asked if he kept the receipt. Luckily, he did and since we hadn’t opened the game yet, it was ripe for a swap. So later that week my mom took me and Kevin to exchange Death Duel for Super Mario Kart. I remember thinking that it was the greatest trade in the history of mankind. I still laugh thinking about this Christmas memory. Who knew a silly ad could bring about such a dramatic turn of events?

Rather ironic that I originally acquired Super Mario Kart via trade, and then 14 years later reacquired it by trade. I’m hanging onto my copy this time for sure!

My brother and I played the crap out of Super Mario Kart that Christmas season and well into 1993. It was such an addicting game. My favorite character was Yoshi. My brother loved using Koopa. One of our friends, Ben, liked using Bowser or Donkey Kong Jr. Ben liked them most because they had the size to push others around. We were the only kids in the neighborhood who had Super Mario Kart, so our neighborhood friends were banging on our door like bloodthirsty zombies. I remember many Sunday mornings where the doorbell chime woke us up at 8:45! Kevin and I quickly became the kings of our block, all thanks to Super Mario Kart.

THE GO KART RACERS

I like the cancel/confirm choice — I like the cancel / confirm choice

There are a total of eight racers, but really four different types. They come in four pairs which vary in terms of strengths and weaknesses.

Mario takes a break from stomping goombas, but this is hardly R&R! He’s sort of a jack of all but master of none type. He doesn’t have the highest top speed and his acceleration is only average. However, he doesn’t have any glaring weaknesses. Also, due to his slightly bulky build, he’s able to hold his own a little bit even when bumped by the heavyweights Bowser or Donkey Kong Jr.

The man who lives in the shadow of Mario. I always liked Luigi because I enjoy cheering for underdogs and sidekicks. He basically has the same abilities as Mario but he lacks the size to adequately counter a Bowser bump.

The damsel in distress is out to get hers! She’s top of the line when it comes to acceleration, but only average when it comes to top speed. Look at those demon-possessed eyes. Yeah, I would advise against cracking any sort of “kitchen barefoot” jokes here.

Yoshi has always been my go-to kart driver. Come on, a dinosaur in a go-kart? You just can’t beat that. The beauty (Princess) and the beast (Yoshi) share the same qualities and both are especially ideal for Donut Plains and the battle mode. On the flip side, they rather stink when it comes to Vanilla Lake.

For the first time ever, you can control one of gaming’s most iconic villains. I remember this being a huge deal in my gaming circle back in late ’92. Using a special customized XXL go-kart, Bowser is as nasty as ever. Because of his enormous size, he’s slow to accelerate but once he gets going, there’s NO stopping that immense momentum… until you bump into a barrier, that is. That’s gonna suck. A lot. But as far as top speed is concerned, Bowser is king.

Donkey can shove the competition aside and is the only one who can truly withstand the impact of a Bowser bump. Both struggle with Donut Plains and the battle mode, but they excel at Koopa Beach.

Koopa was my brother’s favorite back in the day. He lacks in top speed but makes up for it when it comes to control. Koopa steers corners extremely well, which means you can stay on the gas pedal a little longer than most other racers when rounding corners.

Toad is similar to Koopa but rumor has it Toad has the slight edge in terms of acceleration (being just a hair better… again, just a rumor). Both of them are cornering champions though and perform well particularly on Choco Island. But look out for Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr.!

THE GOODS

The mushroom is a classic, basic and useful card to have in your back pocket. When you’re at the beginning of a long straight path, or right before a jumping strip, press A to give yourself a short and sudden burst of speed. Remember using this to scream ¼ across the tracks of Ghost Valley 1, or Mario Circuit 2? It never gets old! ^_^

Ah, the green shell. The shell for real men. It shoots out straight, so that means you have to aim it with skill. Of course, some luck factors in as well, but the green shell is largely based on positioning, timing and skill. Misfire and it will ricochet off walls until it finds a victim. Don’t get in its way! Also, you can drop it behind you. It makes for a defensive tool if timed properly. Nice!

For less skill and a much higher rate of success, the homing red shell will quickly stir up words not quite appropriate for this site. Once in a blue moon you can avoid the red shell. For example, power sliding around a corner can free you of the red shell’s death grip. But the wise and discerning player will only fire the red shell when their target is right there for the taking. A banana peel or green shell can nullify it, however…

The banana peel isn’t the best offensive tool in the game, but it can be surprisingly effective when you’re neck and neck with the competition. You can also launch a banana peel about 10 yards ahead of you. While a fun sight, it’s rarely effective. Its best attribute isn’t its offensive capabilities, but rather its defensive potential. It has the ability to act as a defensive buffer to a red or green shell.

Although it doesn’t quite enjoy the glamour among Mario Kart fans as the vaunted lightning bolt does, the star has always been my personal favorite. It’s a combination of various powers: your speed is increased, you’re immune to track obstacles and enemy weapons, but best of all, anyone you touch instantly spins out. However, if you fall into water, lava, or off an edge, you’ll lose the power.

The game’s most infamous and adored power-up, the lightning bolt is both devious and dangerous. The fact that it’s so rare only increases its legend. Releasing the lightning bolt affects all seven competitors. Doing so shrinks them down which decreases their speed, but best of all, it allows you an opportunity to sadistically crush (literally) the competition. The lightning bolt is no doubt a game changer!

The coin is often viewed as the worst item of the lot, but it’s not useless. It’s definitely a no-brainer item though, since as soon as you get it, you should press ‘A’ to use it. It adds two coins to your count. Coins affect your overall top speed, with 10 being the max. So while it may not be as sexy as the other items, it’s handy when you have few or no coins.

Mr. Ghost is only available in Battle Mode, sadly. I wish it was available in the two player GP mode as well, but I guess one can’t have it all. The ghost not only snatches your friend’s current item but it also makes you “invisible.” Stealing your rival’s red shell or star in particular tends to lead to a curse word or two being uttered. And let’s face it, that’s probably half the fun of the battle mode

The feather allows you to make a great leap of faith. It’s particularly handy for Ghost Valley 1 and a few other tracks. Sure, you can jump with the L or R button but this turns you into the second coming of Michael Jordan. You can also use it to leap over an incoming shell (which is super satisfying) or a well-placed tricky banana peel. You can also use it to cut corners, too. Good stuff.

Its basic formula was nothing short of KA-CHING — Its basic formula was nothing short of **KA-CHING!**

You get the items by passing a question mark tile. Let the randomness run its course or if you’re in a rush then press ‘A’ to stop it. It was (and still is) a fun gimmick that made Super Mario Kart extra awesome. The racing itself is fine, but the weapons add an extra dosage of strategy and fun.

THE TRACKS

MARIO CIRCUIT 1

This is by far the game’s easiest course, as well it should be. It eases you into the mechanics. There are no major tight corners. Instead, you get plenty of straight away paths. Not a lot of frills or thrills here, but that’s fine since there are 19 other tracks that are much more gimmicky. Mario Circuit 1 is plain but a memorable beginner’s track nevertheless.

DONUT PLAINS 1

To the casual observer, at a cursory glance, this track may appear to be a tranquil setting with a beautiful pond. However, experienced kart drivers know behind the serenity lies a deceivingly semi-tough course that can eat up unsuspecting novices. Some corners have loose dirt and debris strewn about. Ease up on the gas during these points or else pay the price.

GHOST VALLEY 1

Ah, Ghost Valley. The mushroom super jump bit, the feather trick and its unique elevated wooden track make this course unforgettable. Oddly enough, whoever built this course from long ago randomly inserted a jump bar in the middle. Remember the first time you used the mushroom right before the jump bar? Talk about a “holy shit” worthy moment indeed.

BOWSER CASTLE 1

Bowser’s got some of the trickiest tracks around, but his first one is fairly straight forward. It has some memorable features that help make it stand out. Midway through there are three zipper bars for you to drive over, granting you a quick speed burst. It was always a rush to turn the corner tightly and hit one of those zipper marks right on the, er, mark. And watch out for those annoying Thwomps!

MARIO CIRCUIT 2

I’ve always enjoyed the Mario Circuits because they have sort of a ‘pure’ untainted kart track feel to them. At the same time, there are just enough tiny gimmicks here and there that keep things interesting. This one is most notable for its famous great big jump bump at the end. Sabotaging players here was wickedly fun. Try dropping a banana peel just to the right of the second marker on the left side for computer opponents. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about

CHOCO ISLAND 1

A slippery dirt course way out in the desert, the infamous piranha plant calls Choco Island home. The terrain is dominated by bumpy surfaces and mud slicks so don’t get too pedal happy here. Be weary also of the mud bog that lies somewhere in the last quarter of the track — try using a mushroom here and see what happens!

GHOST VALLEY 2

While the first Ghost Valley track will always be the best one in my book, all of them are special in their own unique way. This one has a zipper for the final stretch of the course, with a small jumper off to the far right side… allowing you to take to the skies with a mushroom. I like how the small jumper is randomly placed there.

DONUT PLAINS 2

Try using the mushroom to skip the edge of the pond! This course is a perfect place to show off your great power sliding technique. Donut Plains 2 is littered with monty moles up the wazoo. They pop out of holes in the ground and even magically jump out of the grassy areas. If one latches on, you have to shake it off. I shake it off, I shake it off! But I keep cruising. Can’t stop, won’t stop moving. It’s like I got this music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright. Er, sorry. [I don’t know this guy. Security! -Ed.]

BOWSER CASTLE 2

This place can be a little confusing at first. Luckily, Bowser’s kind enough to place some arrows to guide you along. You can choose different routes to take. Alright, the routes are basic, but having a choice is still nice. If you have a feather, you can pull off a really awesome trick but it requires absolute precision. It’s not as easy as the jump in Ghost Valley 1…

MARIO CIRCUIT 3

There are a dozen square question mark blocks waiting for you just after the start / finish line, which may allow players to get an early advantage right out of the box. There is a serious hairpin turn in the middle of the track, and just for the hell of it there’s a nifty turbo plate in the final straight away leading up to the goal.

KOOPA BEACH 1

The good news: there aren’t any tight turns. The bad news: the sand surface isn’t the best for traction. Your kart has just enough buoyancy that it can travel safely across the water… except for the deeper, darker blue parts. Touch that and you’ll be swimming with the fish! [HAR HAR HAR -Ed.]

CHOCO ISLAND 2

Strange, suddenly I’m craving Coco Puffs. Choco Island 2 has a much bigger patch of chocolate goo waiting for you in the middle than the first Choco Island. There’s also a very narrow road which is the perfect place to drop a green shell or banana peel. Avoid the heavy dirt off-road sections — they slow drivers down to a crawl.

VANILLA LAKE 1

Brrrr! It’s a good thing the engine of your go-kart is so hot because you’re going to need that warmth as you race around this slick frozen lake! It’s probably the shortest track in the whole game. Vanilla Lake 1 is filled with annoying ice blocks that really impede your progress if you can’t skirt around them successfully.

BOWSER CASTLE 3

Bowser’s castle tracks just keep getting fancier and fancier. This one gives you three different lanes to pick from. The inside and outside lanes have a turbo tile to zip you past the competition. But the middle path has two question mark tiles. It does require, however, a well-timed leap to acquire…

MARIO CIRCUIT 4

This is a fairly long track that’s packed with corners of all sizes and shapes. It’s also home to many pesky pipes looking to block your path. Nothing beats the thrill of successfully blowing past them on your way to the finish line. On the flip side, nothing’s worse than being clipped by a centimeter, slowing you down to finish in second place (or worse). D’oh!

DONUT PLAINS 3

Graced by two rickety old bridges, literally. One of them is missing some wooden planks and the second bridge is really FUBAR… requiring you to leap safely across. It’s so narrow too that you’re likely to get bumped if another racer is nearby. You can knock others into the pond, but keep in mind that it goes both ways! And to top it all off, the bloody monty moles are back.

KOOPA BEACH 2

It’s time for another bash at the beach! This beach is loaded with some serious greenery that will slow down anyone who drives on it. As it was with Koopa Beach 1, watch out for the dark blue patches of water. They’ll drown you faster than you can say “CRIKEY! FLOPPING CHEEP CHEEP!”

GHOST VALLEY 3

The trickiest of the three Ghost Valley tracks, this one is filled to the brim with gaping holes. Carefully navigate your way through or you’ll pay a dear price. Just like the two previous Ghost Valley tracks, the feather can prove to be a difference maker here.

VANILLA LAKE 2

A very slippery course that’s more lake than land. Advanced players know how to jump around the edges of the lake to shave a precious second or two off their time. To complicate matters, this track is filled with ice barriers that can bring you to a complete and fatal stop. Winter Wonderland this ain’t!

RAINBOW ROAD

It would only be appropriate for the final course to be the toughest. Rainbow Road, in that context, certainly doesn’t disappoint. There’s no room for error with narrow paths galore and some very difficult to avoid Thwomps. Oh yeah, those plain Thwomps from Bowser’s castle tracks? Yeah, they’re now enhanced with an electrical force field. One touch and it’s Spin Out City. Rainbow Road separates the boys from the men.

Ah, the memories — The nightmares are coming back!

BATTLE ZONES OF DEATH

Select from four battle zones in the 2-player battle mode. The first course is basic and pretty much wide open, while the second one has more nooks and crannies for players to take cover. The third one, surprise surprise, is the slipperiest of the four. The fourth, as you can see above, is the nuttiest.

The battle mode is real simple. Each player has three balloons strapped to their go-kart. The first to pop all three balloons of the other player wins. This led to some serious cutthroat battles. The Ghost icon was a bitch! Great memories…

Setting a record by mere tenths of a second FTW

We also had a blast with the Time Trial mode. Getting the best time meant bragging rights. It was a gloat worthy accomplishment any time you beat out your brother, friend or even your own records. Not only could you be recognized for the best total time but the game also took account of best single lap time. Nothing was better than breaking both the single lap and total time record simultaneously.

Gotta break all the records... — Gotta break all the records…

PERFORMANCE CHECK-UP

I remember studying these two pages like crazy

Ah, the performance chart from the game’s manual. The SNES had some great instruction manuals, bursting with both color and useful information. Kind of sad to think about how today’s kids will never fully grasp the simple joy of studying a game’s manual in the backseat of their car going home from the video rental store. Life today is better in a lot of ways, but I can think of a few things technology simply cannot supplant.

Super Mario Kart has a simple but effective ranking system. If you ranked at 5th or worse, you had to then replay that course. The point system is as follows:

1: 9 points
2: 6 points
3: 3 points
4: 1 point

I’ve always felt that this scoring system worked really well. Take a look:

Classy, elegant and yet simple. Gotta love it. The music that plays here is awesome and to this day remains stuck in my head.

You cant cut it any closer! — You can’t cut it any closer!

Nothing is more exhilarating than a photo finish race. Check out how crazy close Donkey Kong Jr. came to my Yoshi — 1’17″52 vs. 1’17″53!

I love the set-up screen here. Super Mario Kart just oozes with class and brilliance. You start out by earning the Gold Cup on all three races of the 50cc class. Then do the same in 100cc. Doing so unlocks Special Cup. Earn the Gold Cup there and you’ll unlock 150cc. 150cc is no joke!

MUSHROOM CUP OVERVIEW

Passing someone causes them to crane their neck

Few things satisfy like using a mushroom to burst past your top rival during that finish line finale.

I love seeing the exhaust fumes kick up like that

Power sliding around a tight corner to zoom past the competition is simply the best. And if you have the star, using it right after power sliding around a corner really puts you ahead of the pack!

Wind slanted 17 MPH east... — Wind at 17 MPH east…

I liken the green shell to that of a bow and arrow. When aimed properly and used effectively, it proves to be both fatal and satisfying. While the red shell is a more effective weapon, the green shell is the one that allows players to show off their mad skills and ability to project accurately. Here I am setting up poor unsuspecting Koopa in my line of fire. Let’s see what happens to ol’ turtle face…

I love how Koopa's eyes bug out. Good stuff! — I love how his eyes bug out. Good stuff!

Release the sucker at just the right time and BAM! They spin out in a frenzy dropping coins every which way as you speed on ahead. Was there anything better than this? Even a mere child can use the red shell successfully. But the green shell now, ah ha. That, my friends, is entirely another matter. The green shell is for true Mario Kart masters

Or using the lightning bolt right before they jump... — Or using the lightning bolt right before they jump…

Koopa is in for one hell of shellshock [Har har -Ed.] — Koopa is in for one hell of “shellshock” *[Har har -Ed.]*

Super Mario Kart is as entertaining as it is sadistic — *Super Mario Kart* is as entertaining as it is sadistic

The music here is still stuck in my head... *hums tune* — The music here is still stuck in my head *hums tune*

Nowadays 150cc Special Cup laughs at me *sigh*

SEND IN THE CLONES

Surprisingly not, there came an inevitable flow of Mario Kart clones on the Super Nintendo. Shockingly however, most of them came out in Japan only. The most blatant clone is SD F-1 Grand Prix. Think Super Mario Kart meets the animatronic rejects of Chuck E. Cheese’s. As far as clones go though, this one is quite good. It has slightly better visuals than Super Mario Kart (October 1995 vs. September 1992). However, to no one’s surprise, it doesn’t play as well. The same can be said for all the other clones below. They’re all very competent and fun in their own right, but they’re NAGASMK (not as good as Super Mario Kart). SD F-1 Grand Prix is my favorite of the clones.

Definitely the least blatant clone of the lot, Battle Cross is what you might get if you threw Super Bomberman and Super Mario Kart into a blender. Who didn’t dream of that crossover at some point during the early-mid ’90s? Battle Cross is a single screen racer featuring six drivers and various weapon power-ups strewn across its nine wacky tracks. It does suffer slightly however from “It sounds better than what it actually is” syndrome. It’s pretty good but ends up feeling a bit “lightweight.” Still, it allows up to five human players and when approached with the proper mindset it can be a rather fun affair. Just temper those expectations going in.

Battle Racers took Bandai’s famous Kamen Rider-related characters and dumped them into a Mario Kart-esque game. I love the gorgeous sunset effect as seen above. It’s a very solid racing game but as stated before, it’s simply NAGASMK. Still, it’s worthy enough to warrant a look.

Finally, we come to the lone American clone in this lot. Street Racer features a four player split-screen mode. That alone makes it something to write home about. Well worth adding to your SNES collection, Street Racer has got its own bizarre personality and world. Give it a shot.

HONEY I SHRUNK THE KARTS!

My brother and I loved this code back in the day

We turned the code into its own mini-game! — We turned the code into its very own mini-game!

The rule was simple. If you were “IT” you could pick any driver. The other person had to select Bowser (or Donkey). Why? They were the slowest to accelerate. The goal? Tag big ol’ Bowser (or Donkey). We found Vanilla Lake 2 to be most conducive for this makeshift mini-game. I can’t tell you how many hours we wasted on this. It was so cool because we felt like we had discovered an extra ‘secret mode’ to the game, which only increased its already excellent longevity. When shrunk, the small courses suddenly loom large, and what healthy child doesn’t love a spot or two of tag? It only added to the game’s brilliance and was a testament to just how stellar the game was. GP and Battle Mode are great and everything… but for sheer laughs and kicks, try out this miniature game of tag! It was classic childhood innocence sprinkled with that impeccable Nintendo magic that made it a winning combination

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

EGM ranked it #15 on their Top 100 list (November '97) — Damn right it’s better than *Mario Kart 64* ;)

Super Mario Kart was considered a universal smash hit. While today many are divided on where they stand — some feel it has stood the test of time while others think it hasn’t aged too well and that later renditions have rendered the original a bit obsolete — back in 1992 practically everyone was blown away. Along with Capcom’s Street Fighter II, Super Mario Kart was THE two player game to have on the Super Nintendo. Those two showcase titles were responsible for moving Super Nintendo systems by the truckload back in 1992. EGM gave Super Mario Kart ratings of 9, 9, 8 and 8. GameFan rated it 97, 96, 95 and 90%. Super Play scored it 93%. In EGM’s Top 100 Games list printed in issue #100 (November 1997), Super Mario Kart ranked in at a lofty #15. Their “Most Challenging Moment” blurb made me smile because I completely agree with them. It was a heated argument back in the late ’90s on which was better: Super Mario Kart or Mario Kart 64. I do love me some four player Mario Kart 64 but come on, the tracks on the original game was simply superior. It’s a debate that continues to stir passionate opinions to this very day…

The original was a trailblazer — It was a trailblazing innovator

Nintendo Power Magazine published their Top 100 Nintendo games list in issue #100 (September 1997). By the way, I found it cool (and such a wild coincidence) how EGM and Nintendo Power Magazine reached 100 issues at almost the same time. Nintendo Power ranked Super Mario Kart #32 while Mario Kart 64 placed #4. They hit the nail on the head with their very first sentence. I owned both Mario Kart games growing up, and while I really enjoyed Mario Kart 64 as well, Super Mario Kart was my favorite.

You're good, kid, but your older brother is better — You’re good, kid, but your older brother is better

Super Play Magazine published their own Top 100 SNES Games list back in April 1996. Super Play ranked Super Mario Kart as the third best SNES game ever created.

#1 in Retro Gamer's book — #1 in Retro Gamer’s book, er, magazine

Retro Gamer Magazine printed a special article on the SNES back in issue #23 (March 2006), highlighting ten “perfect” SNES games. Super Mario Kart topped that list at #1. Speaking of lists, I’ve been working on my very own SNES list the past 10 plus years.Whenever I get around to publishing it, you’ll see I also have Super Mario Kart ranked fairly high

A “DY-NO-MITE!” COMMERCIAL

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Hats off to one of the best SNES games ever crafted

It’s crazy to believe it’s been nearly 25 years since Super Mario Kart raced its way into our hearts. Time flies. It’s almost been 25 years since my brother and I pulled off the greatest gaming trade in the history of mankind (well, at least of our lives). This was the kind of game that brought all your neighborhood friends over like ants to sugar. Hell, even that one guy you barely knew! Whether it was the intense battle mode, the heart-pounding GP race, or even the brilliant makeshift tag mode we created out of a simple code, Super Mario Kart provided so many rich memories for me and my friends. It features great graphics (although it had to be seen in 1992 to truly be appreciated), excellent sound and unforgettable music, and finely tuned gameplay that only the Big N could perfect. The racing just feels right, and the creativity of the weapons and tracks only added to the game’s zaniness and appeal. Nintendo delivered another legendary gem and proved there was indeed life for Mario and friends outside of the platforming genre.

Thanks for all the memories, you silly bastards

I still play Super Mario Kart to this day. It’s one of my “go to” games whenever I feel like I might be heading into a gaming slump. It’s like that tried-and-true classic on the menu that you always order when you want to be reminded of how good food can taste. Super Mario Kart always reminds me of why I love gaming in the first place. It’s got an outlandish universe filled with classic characters, practical weapons and power-ups to use that never gets old, and memorable courses that are still as fun to race on now as they were then. Almost a quarter century later, Super Mario Kart still finishes in first place in my book in many categories. And it remains one of the finest Super Nintendo games ever created.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 10

Overall: 10

Regardless of later renditions and what else may come in the future, Super Mario Kart will forever be a true testament to how GREAT video games can be. It’s the best racing game on the SNES and one of the best Super Nintendo games ever. Thank you, Shigeru Miyamoto!

Christmas Memoirs

It's the most wonderful time of the year... — It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Ah, Christmas. As a kid growing up, there was something truly sacred about Christmas. It was a magical time of the year where miracles happen and wonder is in the air. Every kid I knew looked forward to Christmas. Whether we were writing letters to Santa or out shopping at the local mall with our parents, Christmas was magic. And the best time of the year to be a kid. As soon as that calendar strikes October, you were in kid Heaven. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. The promise of frights, food overload and video game presents. I’ve had some great gaming-related memories of Christmas over the years. Here they are

CHRISTMAS 1989: THE GAME WAS CHANGED

The first video game that changed how I saw gaming — Sega had truly taken gaming to **THE NEXT LEVEL**

In December 1989, my brother and I owned an 8-bit Nintendo. We loved it dearly. But one day we went to our family friend’s house. Denny was raving about his new game system, the Sega Genesis. I was only six years old, but I remember it as if it was yesterday. Denny showed us the cool clamshell box of Altered Beast. The art on the cover blew me away with its wild beasts and savage wolf man. Before Denny opened the box he asked me, “How big do you think the game is?” Hmmm, I figured since it was bigger than Nintendo, surely the cartridge had to be huge. Denny shook his head with a sly grin. He slowly opened the box to reveal the tiniest cartridge I had ever seen in my life. I was stupefied. The next big leap in video gaming was that small? Denny popped Altered Beast in and I sat back to watch. From the moment the game fired up and I heard the infamous voiceover “WISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!” I was hooked and sold. The graphics were jaw dropping! So too was the sound. I never looked at gaming quite the same after that fateful December day of 1989.

Altered Beast altered the game... — *Altered Beast* forever altered the game…

Over the years I remember going back to Denny’s place a lot during December. We held many family friend gatherings there. I remember watching him play games like Dynamite Duke, Thunder Force III and Gaiares. Man, what a time of innocence it was. Not only were we on the verge of a new decade, we found ourselves standing smack dab in a new generation of hi-tech gaming! And life, well, life was awesome. But just when I thought gaming couldn’t get any better, it did…

One of the greatest level one bosses ever!

CHRISTMAS 1991: SUPER NINTENDO GENESIS

It was the vacation that changed my life... — Some vacation trips stay with you for the long haul…

I was eight years old on vacation with my family and friends. My family forged a strong friendship with four families. Between the five families you had 10 parents and 16 kids (11 boys and five girls with birth years ranging from 1977-1987). We had some of the most legendary sleepovers in the history of such. We had monthly sleepovers and each time we would stay up until 1, 2 AM playing video games. It was a glorious time, and some of the best times of my childhood.

In December 1991, the parents wanted to go skiing at beautiful Lake Tahoe. We rented out a huge cabin where all twenty six of us stayed. It was insanity! The brothers, Tommy and Denny, packed their newly acquired Super Nintendo. This is the same Denny that first introduced me to the Sega Genesis and Altered Beast. You know how in every childhood gaming circle there was that one guy who got all the coolest newest games and systems first? Denny was that guy. Tommy and Denny also brought Super Mario World, Final Fight and F-Zero.

I loved Home Alone but I didn't want to live it out! — I loved *Home Alone* but I didn’t want to live it out!

That Sunday morning I woke up to an empty cabin, with weird noises emanating in every which direction. A cold chill swept down the back of my neck as I tip-toed downstairs timidly. Desperately calling out the names of my family and friends, it wasn’t long until I realized I was the lone prisoner trapped inside this cabin from hell.

The only response I received for my cries was the hissing of the cabin. I felt a chill creep over once more. Some thing wasn’t right…

Once I managed to make my way to the kitchen I found a note taped to the fridge with my name on it.

All alone in that demonic looking cabin... or was I... — All alone in that demonic looking cabin… or was I…

Steve,
The rest of us got up early to go out for breakfast. We’ll be back soon. You stayed up really late last night so I wanted you to get the extra rest. Make yourself some Honey Nut Cheerios and don’t watch too much TV. We’ll be back very soon.

Love,
Mom

Gee, thanks mom. I’ll be sure to remember this when I go to the booth next week to cast my vote in for Mom of the Year! I opened the fridge and saw an ice cold can of 7 Up. It was my favorite soda but there was no chance in hell I was going to brave it down that demonic looking hallway to make it to the restroom. No siree!

Ever feel that someone, or something, is watching you? — Ever felt that someone or *something* is watching you?

Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold, dreary December morning of 1991. But being eight years old and resourceful, I believed spirits would never mess with me if I had the radio or TV playing — they only attacked those who were alone. So I turned on the tube and came across a WWF show. Ah, wrestling. It’s always comforted me and did so here. But before long the show ended and I was left thinking about what evil spirits might be milling about. That’s when I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. All the older “cool” kids were taking turns with it the night before, and the younger kids (of which I was right on the cusp of) could do nothing but peer on wishing life had dealt them a better hand. So it suddenly dawned on me that this was my chance. This was my moment.

It's true what they say: you never forget your first time — It’s true — you never forget your first time

Powering up F-Zero, I was instantly transported to Mode-7 Heaven. Every single racing track blew my mind. I couldn’t believe how fast it played, and how AMAZING the game looked. And that MUSIC… oh man. F-Zero led me from thinking about ghosts to obsessing over intergalactic racing warfare! Later I plugged in Final Fight and found myself saving the good citizens of Metro City one jaw dropping stage after another, as I smeared the streets with the blood of the hooligans from the Mad Gear Gang. I had never seen such state-of-the-art arcade-like graphics before. The characters were unbelievably HUGE and at times I found myself wondering, “WHERE THE HECK IS THE COIN SLOT?!”

Back in 1991 this was absolutely mind blowing!

I played Final Fight until my family and friends came back. Part of me was ecstatic to no longer be alone in the cabin from hell, but something funny happened during my inaugural SNES playthrough. It made me forget about malicious ghosts and evil spirits. It instead transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. Even 25 years later, I still recall that Christmas with great reverence

CHRISTMAS 1992: KING OF THE KARTS

There was a certain Christmas magic in the air — There was a certain magic in the air that night…

Oh, SOFTWARE ETC. My childhood... — This was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

I didn’t have very long to think…

“C’mon honey, we gotta get back home now.”

“WAIT!”

“What is it?”

The box sat high on the shelf like a beacon of light — What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?

“That…” I pointed to the King of the Monsters box sitting on the top shelf. “I want that.”

OK, so much for poetic language and convincing arguments.

“Honey, that’s fifty five dollars.”

“No, it’s fifty four ninety nine!” I quickly countered. HA! I thought I had her — ahh, the bliss of being nine years old…

“Well actually with tax it’s about sixty,” she corrected.

Well DAMN. Talk about backfiring!

My mom grabbed the box to examine it closer. “Hey, isn’t this the game you played all night last year at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Is this the same one?”

***FLASHBACK TO DECEMBER 1991***

***BACK TO DECEMBER 1992***

I nodded furiously and watched as my mom bit her lower lip, contemplating what to do. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she took the game to the counter. I stood there in awe watching as they swiped her credit card. It was the first video game she bought for me. Outside I could hear the chattering of youngsters and the HO-HO-HOs of the mall Santa. The Christmas season was ringing in full force, and this bit of Christmas magic only punctuated the moment. My brother and I played King of the Monsters as soon as I got home. It turned out to be a ho-hum translation but at the time I remember not caring a great deal about that. I was just grateful and still buzzing with excitement at the fact that the Christmas magic was still alive and well!

Downtown Christmas display was a family tradition — Downtown Christmas was our Yuletide tradition

A couple days after my mom bought the game, I was playing it one night with my brother when she urged us to turn it off so we could drive downtown to see the fancy Christmas lights. It was a basic tradition in my family that every Yuletide we do so. I love the lights but that year my parents had to pry me away from my Super Nintendo. I guess as my brother and I got older, the more my mom fought to keep tradition alive. Like how she wanted me to sit on Santa’s lap the night she bought me the game. I guess that’s something I’ll find out for myself one of these days… [Sitting on Santa’s lap? How kinky. I see you’re on that naughty list… -Ed.]

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better... — But wait! That Christmas is about to get even better

Everyone wanted this game that Christmas season

We became kings of our block — We became the kings of our block

Thanks for a great Christmas memory, Death Duel — Thanks for a great Christmas memory, *Death Duel*

CHRISTMAS 1993: FIGHT CLUB

This quickly became my next most wanted game

Leading up to Christmas that year I was completely fascinated with Interplay’s Street Fighter II clone, Clay Fighter. Endless controversial ads filled the pages of gaming magazines and I studied the many previews drooling in sheer anticipation of this new promising fighting game. And who could forget the Clay Fighter ad campaign? I sure haven’t — it’s one of the greatest ad campaigns in 16-bit gaming history.

SHOTS FIRED. Interplay wasn't messing. It's war! — Oooh! SHOTS FIRED. Interplay wasn’t playing around

I still remember fondly my cousin calling me one night in early December of 1993. It was rare in those days for her to call as we usually just saw each other in person and communicated that way. But on this fateful night she called asking for my Christmas wish list. My heart was racing as I knew there was really only one thing I wanted: a copy of Clay Fighter. I remember explaining to her over the phone what Clay Fighter was, and being positive that she was going to buy it for me. Yep, it was only a matter of days now…

The gist of what I told my cousin that fateful night!

As a ten year old, I thought the ads were super dope — As a 10 year old, I thought the ads were the best

Of course, she bought something else for me. It ended up not being a video game at all. After that phone call and everything, I couldn’t help but feel massively disappointed. In retrospect though, I’m lucky she didn’t buy me Clay Fighter…

I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for World Heroes — *“C’mon Steve, do the Dragon Kick here! One more time!”*

I would be remiss not to mention World Heroes. My best pal Nelson bought it when it first came out around September of ’93, and we played it well into the winter. Nelly even lent me the game here and there. Uncle Ben flew in that Christmas and watched me play as Kim Dragon. Uncle Ben didn’t care for video games whatsoever, but even he was drawn into World Heroes. He rooted me on, suddenly morphing into an armchair gamer! He loved Kim’s Dragon Kick and called for me to do it each time. It’s a quirky memory that has stuck with me all these years.

Christmas '93 was just a great time to be a kid — *World Heroes* will always have a soft spot in my heart

Christmas ’93 was simply a great time to be a robust 10 year old kid growing up in suburban America. If you had a Super Nintendo, a best friend and you loved fighting games — what a time to be alive! With choices such as Street Fighter II Turbo, TMNT: Tournament Fighters, World Heroes, Ranma ½: Hard Battle and Clay Fighter, there were plenty of fighting games to choose from. The 16-bit war was in full swing, and if you had the SNES and Genesis like I did, you were the ultimate winner.

Nothing like an unexpected post Christmas score!

Having hounded my parents about Clay Fighter and them knowing how disappointed I was that I didn’t get it that Christmas, my mom allowed me to buy one video game in January of ’94. Thankfully, I rented Clay Fighter just prior to this once-in-a-lifetime decree. It wasn’t a terrible fighting game, it just wasn’t very good. My parents took me to Good Guys and I bought Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters. Ninja Turtles meets Street Fighter II? Take my money, er, my parents’ money!

Yep, sure am glad I picked the right game to buy! — Yep, I sure made the right call!

CHRISTMAS 1994: KAREN KOMBAT!

SNES fans were vindicated with an awesome port

Christmas ’94 was marked by the return of my cousin Karen, whom I hadn’t seen in a while. She was now eight and my Uncle Ben also had a one year old daughter, Liz. My bro and I bought Mortal Kombat II for the SNES and we were playing it well into that Christmas season, much to Karen’s chagrin as it would turn out.

Chill Karen, it's only a game. Don't lose your head — Chill Karen, it’s only a game. Don’t lose your head…

When Karen and baby Liz came over that holiday season, we showed off Mortal Kombat II in all its glory. Upon seeing the first blood spewing Fatality, Baraka slicing Jax’s head clean off his shoulders, Karen imploded like a soccer mom at a backyard wrestling event. Grabbing her baby sister in a mad panic, she screamed at us, “OH MY GOD! A ONE YEAR OLD BABY CAN’T BE EXPOSED TO THIS R-RATED VIOLENCE!” The way she yelled at the top of her lungs coupled with her mannerisms made it a moment in time. To this day I still give her a hard time about it whenever we see each other.

As it would turn out, Christmas ’94 was the last great gaming-related Christmas I can remember. Well, that was until…

CHRISTMAS 2010: PARTY LIKE IT’S 1994

You could say it was a powerpak'ed Christmas... — You could say it was a powerpak’ed Christmas…

November 2010. I bit the proverbial bullet and purchased an SNES PowerPak. This great device allows you to play almost any SNES game ever created. It comes at a steep price but as I found out firsthand later that Christmas season, it’s worth the asking price. Guess who visited that Christmas? None other than Karen and (no longer baby) Liz. Karen was now 24 and Liz, 17. It’s funny how life comes full circle sometimes.

You can see the love mark my SNES left on the carpet — See the love mark my SNES left on the carpet?

Saturday, Christmas afternoon. Uncle Ben, his wife, Karen and Liz were visiting from out of state and staying at their second home. Uncle Ben invited the whole fam over for a night of Christmas family fun. Normally I take the Sega Saturn with me (for Saturn Bomberman), but this time I thought I’d try the Super Nintendo instead. It was the right call.

Got the goods. Let's rock and roll — Love how it all fitted perfectly. A nice snug fit ^_^

Ah, the advantage of having a PowerPak and not having to haul 20, 25 games with you. With one cartridge you can effectively carry hundreds of SNES games. That alone makes having some kind of flash cart worth the asking price.

We enjoyed a pleasant family Christmas dinner together that night. Then my cousins Karen, Liz, David, Mia and I retreated to the living room. I unpacked the Super Nintendo to a warm nostalgic reaction. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen one of these in forever!” Karen was most eager of all being that she was old enough to really remember it. The PowerPak worked its magic. I let her browse through the endless list of games. Her eyes popped when she saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time. “I remember playing this back in the day!” Karen had turned into a wide-eyed six year old kid before my very eyes. “WE GOTTA PLAY THIS!” she declared. Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting her to pick Mortal Kombat II.

Karen and David started out on the first level. The three of us felt like we were back at the arcades in the ’90s. Liz and Mia, being young teenagers and Wii fans, didn’t get the hype so they didn’t care to join in. But Karen, David and I were having a blast. The Ninja Turtles weren’t the only ones going back in time here…

It felt like we were back in '92 — It felt like we were back in 1992

The three of us rotated turns playing the two player mode. Each new stage brought about “Oooh I remember this!” memories. When we made our way to the sewer stage, with the giant yellow pizza monsters leaping out at us, Karen said, “I TOTALLY REMEMBER THOSE PIZZA MONSTERS FROM THE CARTOON SHOW!” We made it to Super Shredder, but soon fell at his evil hands.

Karen, David and I had a blast — Karen, David and I had a, er, blast

After Turtles in Time, we switched over to Super Bomberman 2. It brought back memories of the early-mid ’90s when my old gaming group spent countless Saturday nights blowing each other up. We ended up playing the SNES from 6:45 to 9:20. We spent the next two hours talking and hanging out. Nothing like quality family time mixed in with a little multiplayer gaming

*World Heroes 2* is a terrific and underrated SNES port

I slept over at my parents’ house that night since they live only 15 minutes away from Uncle Ben’s second home. Arriving around midnight, I was still in a Super Nintendo state of mind. I immediately popped in the PowerPak and fired up the beta version of World Heroes 2. Although I love the finished product, the beta version is more combo friendly and therefore more accurate to the arcade original. It’s almost like playing two different games! One more reason to love the PowerPak — you can play beta versions (if available) of your favorite games and compare.

Don't have a flash cart? Better catch and ride that wave — Don’t have one yet? Better catch and ride that wave!

Love it but the CPU is tough! — Love it but the computer is tough

After World Heroes 2 beta, I had the urge to revisit another childhood favorite, TMNT: Tournament Fighters. After the tough computer foes put a thorough whupping on my ass, I felt the need to do some whupping of my own, so I fired up Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling 2: 3-4 Budokan.

I like it more than *Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium*

The fatal four way match is good for a quick fix. After this, I went to brush my teeth. My parents had already gone to bed. I turned off the lights and lowered the volume. I hadn’t slept over in a long time so the house making all kinds of unusual noises in the dark was a bit creepy. I decided to go from one obscure Super Famicom import to another.

Fans of the unusual and Pocky & Rocky will like this — Fans of the unusual and *Pocky & Rocky* will like this

One of the weirdest games on the SNES, Deae Tonosama Appare Ichiban is also rather fun. I had a blast going through the whole game. It was now 2:45 AM, and the house grew eerily darker and darker. It was the perfect time to load up the scariest Super Nintendo game ever created.

Now that's a stocking stuffer you don't wanna see — Now there’s a stocking stuffer you don’t want to see

There couldn’t have been a more perfect setting to play Clock Tower. Weird noises emanated from the house as heavy rain crashed against the windows with fierce velocity. I never imagined in a million years that a Super Nintendo game could actually scare me. But on that night, Clock Tower succeeded. Scissorman left a wake of terror as he pursued me relentlessly throughout the mansion. It was one of the best gaming sessions I’ve ever had.

SNIP SNIP -- I could still hear Scissorman's shears — **SNIP SNIP** — I could still hear Scissorman’s shears…

It was now 4:30 in the morning. Whoa, I played the SNES from midnight to 4:30. I staggered over to turn off Clock Tower, then I fumbled up the stairs in the dark. I was in a bit of a daze, feeling uneasy still thinking about the grisly images. I crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling in the darkness. What an epic gaming session and what a great Christmas! I laid there for a while just reflecting on the night before drifting off to a deep, peaceful sleep…

CHRISTMAS 2012: BIRDIES AND BOMBS, BABY!

Nothing beats a good old epic multiplayer session — Nothing beats a good old fashion multiplayer party!

Once again the PowerPak proved its worth. My brother, his girlfriend and I went to visit David and Mia. We spent the night playing 4-player BS Out of Bounds Golf and 5-player Super Bomberman 5. Nothing screams quality family time quite like blowing up your brother, or knocking your cousin’s ball out of bounds. Both games quickly grew heated as the trash talking (and laughing) compounded. The fondest memory I have of this evening came when David miraculously nailed a miracle trick shot. He bounced his ball against a plate bumper, which then ricocheted its way into the cup. Everyone in the room jumped and shouted in stereo. It was certainly mic drop worthy! We all gave David a hi-five and he wore the fattest grin I ever saw. To see him have that one moment of glory made my Christmas that year. Fittingly enough, we even gave him a golf clap

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! [You're SO cheesy... -Ed.] — David bounced a shot off that bumper and in, wow!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! — Merry Christmas to all, and to all a very good night :)

Christmas time always brings back such fond memories of time well spent with loved ones and video games. Especially when you were a kid, there was just something special and magical about Christmas season. Whether you received a new video game system or a new video game, many of us have nostalgic memories surrounding Christmas and video games. These were mine. And they’ve stayed with me long after the snow has faded and the lights have been taken down. As tomorrow marks the beginning of winter and as we draw closer and closer to yet another Christmas, I’m reminded of all these nostalgic memories. There’s something about gaming during the winter season that can’t be beat. Those early darkening late afternoons. The whipping rain lashing outside late at night as you play childhood favorites, or unearth new ones. Wherever you are at in this stage of life, may you be blessed each day and a blessing to others, too. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?

Thank you, and God Bless everyone else too ^_^ — Thank you good sir, and God Bless everyone else too

BS Out of Bounds Golf (SNES)

Perhaps the best SNES game you've never heard of — Perhaps the best SNES game you’ve never heard of

To write down all the stellar Super Nintendo games ever released, one would need a scroll as long as east to west. The system was blessed with countless classics, no doubt one reason why it was so beloved back then, and is still revered to this day. And while folks throw out their personal favorite recommendations, in all my years as an SNES enthusiast there is one game I’ve never heard anyone praise or tout prior to 2011. In fact, up to that point there wasn’t even a YouTube video of this game! That’s how obscure and unknown this game once was. For the past half decade plus I have been championing this game to the masses, and thankfully many more gamers have experienced the same kind of joy with it as I have over the years. Most recently, a fan translation was put out in February 2016 which caused even further exposure. Everyone I’ve known who has played this game has nothing but good things to say. That’s a sign that a game did something right!

GOOD LOOKING OUT EGM!

I fell in love with this game the second I saw this preview — I fell in love with this game the second I saw this

I first discovered this game many moons ago thanks to EGM issue #62, September 1994. Billed as OB Club, the screenshots stole my gaming heart. With normal and silly courses alike, it looked like a really fun game. Two months later, EGM printed a full page preview on the game (issue #64, November ’94). I knew I had to get it some day. I had to play it. Many years later, when I got back into the SNES in early 2006, I tracked the title down as BS Out of Bounds Golf. Sadly, it was never released. Only available in online form, it was one of those BS-X Satellaview releases — a Super Famicom satellite modem add-on that operated in the late ’90s. BS Zelda is perhaps the most popular BS-X game. But don’t sleep on BS Out of Bounds Golf. It’s wickedly charming and devious like very few SNES games are…

GAME MODES

Select from three different modes. I personally prefer Stroke Play as it’s every man or woman or, er, animal (more on this in a bit) for him or her or, er, itself. Match Play games are faster however due to the bar being set by the lowest stroke. If you can’t match it or do better then the course automatically ends. Doubles Match is a fun mode where you team up with a friend or the computer and both your strokes are counted. Whichever team has less wins. It’s a nice way to handicap if you’re playing with a lesser skilled friend who wishes to enjoy the game rather than getting slaughtered by you!

THE GOLFERS

Choose from 12 characters. Some are male, some are female and there are even two felines. Don’t ask why. You can tell right off the bat that the developer, NCS, didn’t take things so seriously. Unfortunately, the characters seem to be purely cosmetic, as I haven’t been able to discern any differences between them. If this is indeed true, it seems like a bit of a waste as I would have like to seen some golfers with more power than others, some better at putting, etc.

Now that you’ve made your selection, it’s time to pick a themed world.

There are six in all. One is rather normal but the other five range from slightly abnormal to freaking bizarre! Each theme has a total of eight courses so in all you have 48 different courses to mess around on. It’s a pretty solid number although I wish we could have gotten at least two more themes. But I’m really just nit-picking here. The courses we got are pretty fantastic in their own right!

Players have the option to play either courses 1-4, 5-8, or all 8. Each theme has its own unique personality in addition to difficulty. Some courses are absolutely brutal. You can play alone or against one, two or three opponents — even adjust the handicap. Like Bomberman, I love how extremely customizable it is

I’VE GOT THE POWER!

The beauty of BS Golf is how simple it plays, yet still offers enough intricacies to be deeper than it may initially appear. Before hitting the ball you select your power, ranging from 1 to 100. Next, you pick where on the ball you wish to hit; there are a total of 17 (!) points. Where you decide to strike it will determine the trajectory of the ball — good stuff! More on this later.

There’s nothing as satisfying as nailing a long putt shot selecting just the right power amount. On the flip side, nothing as agonizing as choosing a couple power points too high, causing the ball to jump off the lip of the hole. Or miscalculate by a couple power points too low, leading the ball to stop mere centimeters in front of the cup — D’OH!! Makes for good trash talking both ways! The “guessing” game never gets old. Hmmm, is this shot a 47 or 52? 81 or 83? 98 or 99? This game-within-a-game is oddly compelling! Especially when you factor in that many times one point off can make the difference between glorious victory and agonizing defeat.

When playing against others, BS Golf takes on a new form of life. Much of the fun lies in making life miserable for the other(s). Here you are on offense, but at the same time, you can play a little defense too…

*“YEAH WHAT CHU GOT NOW KID! WHAT CHU GOT!”*

My opponent is trapped! Oh the sheer beauty of this. He probably could use one of the slick trajectory shots, but I’ve definitely made his life much more difficult. Who knew mini golf could be so evil?

A lot of the fun derives from messing up your opponent’s shot. It’s this element that makes BS Out of Bounds Golf truly special and unique. It’s Schadenfreude at its 16-bit finest!

Birdie shot leaves poor Timmy in the dust. I had to guess the right POW amount while factoring in the uphill slope here. Set the POW to just the right number, choose the proper trajectory and BOOM, thanks fer coming, kid! Incredibly fun stuff, and super satisfying to boot.

Introduced in the vaunted pages of EGM as OB Club — here’s why! The most fun is making your opponent OB (go out of bounds). Even when it’s not their turn! It’s a great way to ruin a friendship

D’OH! I’ve been cupblocked. Still, I try to brute force my way home (with less than stellar results). I’m lucky those little plate barriers stopped me from OBing, and even luckier I didn’t push my opponent’s ball in the hole. Instead the blue ball ricochets off the barrier and bounces back into mine, sending my red ball off the plate. Hey, it could have been worse.

Player 2 knocks in my ball — thanks buddy! Look at his priceless reaction on the mug shot there. I would have scored a PAR on my third try, but got a Birdie instead!

Opponent tries to apply brute force as well, with even less desirable results! His reaction says it all ^_^

Nothing beats OBing your opponent, especially when it’s done in the context of getting closer to the cup yourself. But wait, now that I think of it, there IS one thing that is king…

Puffy thunderclouds overhead paint an ominous backdrop... — Puffy thunderclouds paint an ominous backdrop…

Ah, it’s a wee bit cloudy today but still a good day for some mini golf. I could score here well enough, even on the edge of the bunker, but wait a second…

For some reason, I'm now feeling kind of DARK... — For some reason, I’m now feeling kind of DARK…

… Suddenly the clouds block out the sun. As it grows dark outside, much the same is happening on the inside…

Better than all the rest though is when you score while knocking your rival’s ball out of bounds. Nothing compares to the trash talking that ensues, as well as the rush of adrenaline you feel off a perfectly placed ricochet shot. The stars need to align for this type of dual action shot to work — it happens once in a blue moon which only adds to its greatness when you do manage to pull it off.

BS Golf provides plenty of cutthroat shenanigans! — *BS Golf* provides plenty of cutthroat shenanigans!

Two for one specials are always memorable. I not only get the PAR but also add a stroke to my rival’s score. It’s the best of both worlds.

At the end a scorecard is presented to show the results — At the end a scorecard displays the results

However, as good as the 2-Player mode is, for optimum pleasure try the fatal four way. Clusterville is not uncommon — one must get fairly shrewd and crafty if they want to make it out on top! It’s deliciously devious and entertaining.

I OB'ed player 3 a couple times here and there ~_^ — I OB’ed player 3 a couple times here and there ~_^

I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing this game with three other friends and let me tell ya — it’s friggin’ awesome. I dare call it the best four player game on the SNES. Just don’t come into it expecting all-out action. Since players take turns, it’s more of a methodical multiplayer experience, which works quite well. It allows each player to have the spotlight, so to speak, and allows you to focus all your energy on trash talking when it’s not your turn. The battles get rather fierce!

IT’S ALL ABOUT TRAJECTORY

Being that there are 17 points on the ball to strike, you can nail a shot in more ways than one. Here’s an example of four different scoring ways from one same spot. On the surface BS Golf may look very simple but you’ll soon discover there’s a lot more hidden underneath. It’s crazy versatile!

Select the right POW and you’re good. A simple straight shot. Nothing fancy. Just effective. The dead center shot is probably what you’ll feel most comfortable using most of the time.

I'm in a RIGHT frame of mind... — I’m in a RIGHT frame of mind…

However, for those times where you feel bold and daring, you can curve the trajectory of your shot left or right. Most players probably wouldn’t bother if straight on is an option, but sometimes it’s fun to just mess around…

Curve it to the right for the goal. Definitely a show off type skill shot.

To the left to the left [YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME -Ed.] — To the left to the left…

[YOU MUST NOT KNOW ‘BOUT ME -Ed.]. Not one to discriminate against lefties, let’s go left shall we?

Lovely! So we have dead center, right and left — three different ways to score from the same spot. I did say I’d show you four. What’s the fourth one, you ask? Ask and you shall receive.

“WHAT THE — !!” Notice my trajectory. This shot can only be made when it’s one notch above dead center. See how precise and deceptively intricate BS Golf is? It’s the kind of game that you’ll never quite play the same game twice. Good stuff.

SKILLZ! You are legit if you can pull off these funky trick shots. So, same position on the golf course and you just saw four different ways to score. Such is the versatility of this game. Odds are you’ll never play the same game twice. Add in the wacky competitiveness of three rivals and you have a multiplayer blast for the ages, and for all ages from 8 to 80!

Mastering trajectory shots is key — Mastering trajectory shots is the key to winning

Trajectory shots aren’t just for show, either. Sometimes, as seen here, they’re absolutely critical. You can’t always use the dead center shot if you want to excel — you must also master all other type of shots and know when to use which one.

The game randomly changes weather. One second it may be sunny. The next second clouds may appear overhead followed by a light rain. Once in a while there’s even a lightning show. Not only does it enhance the atmosphere of the game but it changes how you play as well — be sure to note and factor in the wind as well as the direction it’s blowing in. Mother Nature plays a role here just like in real life, and that’s pretty damn cool. There is an option to turn the weather off, though.

WAR OF THE WORLDS

Things start to get a bit strange in the second world

Let’s check out the five other themes you can play in. The second world is a combination of breakfast items and books. You’ve been shrunk! Look, just go with it. There are many more obstacles here compared to the first world, such as tomatoes, rulers and even towering cereal boxes. Arrows move your fragile ball in specific directions. Things can get pretty tough in a hurry…

I hope you've practiced your trajectory shots... — I hope you’ve practiced your trajectory shots…

The third world has an Aztec or Mayan theme. The obstacles found here are moving rather than stationary. Thus recreating rather well those infamous mini golf courses with the bloody relentless windmills.

Those guys really never smile, eh? Lighten up Francis! — These guys never smile do they? Lighten up, Francis!

The fourth world has sort of a toy theme. Those buggers there remind me of the old KB Toys logo. Like in the second world, you’ll find plenty of arrows and jumpers here.

The fifth world is a beach theme. It’s a nice pleasant visual change from the third and fourth worlds. This beach theme is home to some funky courses that are tougher than a two dollar steak.

Take a look and be the judge yourself... — Take a look and be the judge yourself…

Remember playing Marble Madness back in the day on the good ol’ 8-bit NES? It was one of the games my brother and I owned back in the late ’80s. The sweet visuals and tunes of that game are still ingrained in my heart 25+ years later.

From being shrunk to traveling to outer space -- hey, why not? — I love how crazy atmospheric this world is!

The sixth and final theme, taking place in outer space, is not only visually striking but brutally difficult. This will surely separate the boys from the men. It’s unforgiving like a hurricane, and will humble even the best players. Good luck!

UNUSUAL PLACES

"GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN WHIPPERSNAPPER!" — *“GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN WHIPPERSNAPPER!”*

*[OK, no more watching bad horror movies, mister -Ed.]*

Sucks to be you, pal! You can’t help but laugh when the opposition gets caught in a bad predicament such as this.

HOT SHOTS GOLF

Aww, look at the kitty. I like the bird flying around there — Aww, look at the kitty. I also like the bird flying there

When I say hot shots golf, I’m not talking about the PlayStation game Hot Shots Golf, which I like a lot. Oddly, there is a Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds but I digress. The Eagle is the second best possible shot in the game of golf. It’s pretty rare though. But the best shot in all of golf is, of course, the hole-in-one.

C'mon, admit it, ya at least smiled, right? Er, moving on — C’mon, admit it. You smiled, right? Er, moving on

Of the 48 courses I’ve only been able to get a hole-in-one on three of the courses. You can’t get a hole-in-one for most of them. It’s always a thrill when it happens!

MISCELLANEOUS

Throughout the courses you’ll find giant gift wrapped boxes. If you make contact with these presents you will earn a random surprise. They range from useless to absolutely devastating. So far I’ve been able to discern 11 of them, but there could be even more. The 11 I know are listed below.

Ball Switcher: This icon seems to be the hardest to get, like the lightning item in Super Mario Kart. It randomly switches all four balls. Can turn what looks like futility to one of sweet victory in a hot second. It’s sure to piss someone off!
Poison Stroke: Makes opponents’ very next shot go very short.
Sun: Automatic sunny weather (meh).
Wind Blower #1: Gust of wind sends your rivals’ balls flying. Could potentially lead to O.B. *evil laughter*
Wind Blower #2: Increases the wind MPH speed (meh).
Mole: Takes rival’s next shot back to original position (pure evil!)
Fast Shot: Sends your ball at the speed of light.
Control Shot: Love this one! Control the ball by working the D-Pad.
Shot Stop: You stop your shot short at any desired time by pressing B.
Ink: ? I’ve yet to figure this one out…
Anvil: ? Ditto the ink.

Another sign that points to the greatness of this game are the randomly generated points of the cup. Here you see the same course, but with TWO different destinations. This way players can’t master one course and repeat the same tricks over and over, thus killing the longevity of the game. 48 courses each having several different random cup generators mean that you really have over 200 different possibilities! Plus you factor in the ever changing wind, the 17 different strike points, the shot power meter ranging from 1 to 100, and the item power ups — it all adds up to a game that has a slightly new wrinkle each time you play.

You’re looking at the same course, but with two different randomly generated cups. Each course has four different destinations.

Certain courses have shortcuts and gimmicks you can take advantage of. For example, in one course you can hit your ball into the doghouse. This sends the ball flying across the screen from another location that can set you up nicely next to the hole.

Little details like this make a game extra memorable and awesome.

Here’s another cool example. If you hit the ball in that hole there, a mole magically transports your ball close to the exit. It’s weird but charming!

There’s a lot more but I’ll let you discover some of them for yourself…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The best SNES game never released? Just maybe... — The best SNES game never released? Just maybe…

There are some video games you see in magazine previews and dream about, but when you finally get around to play it you find yourself sorely disappointed. BS Out of Bounds Golf not only lived up to my expectations but in many ways it even surpassed them. It’s so simple that anyone can play it and have a good time, yet it’s deceptively intricate enough where you could play it a thousand times and still learn something new each time. It speaks to the game’s longevity, including the 17 different strike points, 48 courses, randomly generated cups, 12 player choices and 1-4 player mode. It’s mini golf done right! Where else can you stand next to a towering cereal box featuring Coco Krispies, I mean, Big Kongs Crunch, and the next minute be teeing off along the Milky Way? There’s only one.

It's a shame this game never came out back in '94 — It’s a shame this game never came out back in 1994

The graphics are easily the weakest part of the game, but they’re serviceable nonetheless. The sound suits the game just right. Much like Bomberman, it’s the pure gameplay that delivers. You’ll never play the same game twice. OBing your opponent is where it’s at, and your individual battles with judging the trajectory and your power meter is gratifying in its own right. This is one of those rare games I can play for 10 minutes each night before going to bed and never get tired of. The game’s ingenuity is abundant, its accessibility brilliant, and its charm endless. If you’ve never played BS Out of Bounds Golf before, I dare you to spend some time with it and see if you don’t like it yourself. Of course, everyone’s mileage will vary, and you might not be as nuts about it as I am, but I doubt many will walk away thinking it’s a bad game. I hope that BS Out of Bounds Golf will no longer be obscure and left hidden in the shadows. May it instead shine brightly as one of the best multiplayer games on the SNES. You need to experience playing this game with three friends to fully grasp its sheer brilliance. You’re sure to be glad you did!

Graphics: 6.5
Sound: 8.5
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 10

Overall: 10

Sadly unknown and unreleased, BS Out of Bounds Golf is slightly bizarre and twisted, highly competitive and addicting, and one of the best multiplayer SNES games around. Give it a shot, it just might become your next favorite retro party game! Schadenfreude at its finest.

You earned it! Thanks NCS for this awesome game :) — You earned it! Thanks NCS for this awesome game

It ain't bullsh*t, it's BS Out of Bounds Golf, and it's ace! — It ain’t bullshit, it’s *BS Out of Bounds Golf*, and it’s ace!

I don’t hand out too many 10 scores… then again, not too many games are as fun and charming as this one is. Scenes like this only point to the sheer brilliance of the game ^_^

Super Family Tennis (SFC)

The best damn tennis title on the SNES. Yeah I said it

Tennis. A sport I rarely played as a youth, never watched and generally never had much of an interest in. Except, oddly, when it came to video games. I always enjoy a solid tennis game. Super Tennis on the SNES gets a lot of love as does Mario Tennis: Power Tour (GBA). One of my favorite Saturn titles is a little known obscure Japanese game by the name of Tennis Arena. So I’m always down for a fun little tennis game. After playing Super Family Tennis, I can honestly say it’s not only my favorite tennis title on the system but it’s actually one of my favorite SNES games, PERIOD. I’ll attempt to explain why with tons of pictures and hopefully not too much incoherent rambling below.

SMASH TENNIS

Too bad it never hit North America! — Too bad it never smashed its way into North America

SUPER TENNIS. FOR THE FAMILY. SO SUPER FAMILY TENNIS, THEN

Super Family Tennis looks normal so far, but play on a bit (or read on in this case) and you’ll quickly see what a quirky and crazy title this is.

Choose from 20 different players all with varying skills and abilities. There are a total of nine different game modes with all combinations possible for singles and doubles matches. I only wish the character selection would show a preview of your sprite and even a quick statistical rundown, but alas, it’s no dealbreaker by any stretch. Here’s where the game gets special, though: there are eight courts to select. You have your usual standard three but the other five are a bit outlandish (some more than others!)

Sorry Super Tennis fans but no egregious usage of Mode 7 here. This is just your standard lawn tennis court. Nothing special, but I do enjoy the fans in attendance. Shame though that they’re a slightly more subdued crowd than the one found in Super Tennis. Their applause isn’t as loud. I do like the collective disappointing groan they make in Super Family Tennis though when you mess up.

These are the other two standard courts. Like I said, nothing special. Typical arenas you would find in any tennis title. But now we come to the other five…

THE RESORT

Right away the camera gives you a quick sweeping view of the venue and you’re immediately intrigued. From the snow capped mountains in the background to the group of friends hanging out on a balcony watching your match, it’s unlike any other court you’d find in a tennis video game back in June 1993. I appreciate Namco’s attention to detail — everything from the potted plants to the tables. The game gave off good vibes and once I got playing, I truly fell in love with it all.

Nothing’s better than sending a shot over the head of your opponent and having the ball land just centimeters in front of the boundary. Great feeling that’s only boosted by the quick view you get of the people watching you from above. Good stuff!

"Get that $20 bill ready, Jo!" — *“Get that $20 bill ready, Susie!”*

Actually, perhaps this is even sweeter. Hitting the ball and seeing it sail just past the reach of your diving opponent. Insult to injury! And even better, seeing the ball bounce all the way underneath the tables. It’s a great touch. Hey, I’ve always appreciated the little things in video games, and Super Family Tennis serves it on a silver platter! [I C WAT U DID DERE… -Ed.]

Alright, maybe this is even better than the previous two. They’re all so satisfying it’s hard to pick a definitive winner. The European name for this game is Smash Tennis and this shows you why. Smashing the ball so hard that it literally leaves a shadow trail of sorts is quite gratifying. Its velocity is almost faster than the eye can see. Talk about a crushing blow…

Diving hits to save your ass are also incredibly satisfying to use. It’s much easier and feels more natural to dive here than it did in Super Tennis, which is only one of several reasons why I prefer Super Family Tennis. When you get caught up in a diving contest with your opponent, it only adds to the drama and intensity of it all.

While diving saves are cute and all, sometimes you just need to put a little muscle behind it and send the ball screaming your opponent’s way. Check this out…

Smash hits are cruel and quickly humble the player on the receiving end. As an added insult to injury, I love how the ball sometimes can roll underneath a table. It’s totally inconsequential but nevertheless oddly delightful to witness.

Crushing spirits left and right, these super shots are the cat’s pajamas!

"Fine, here's your $20, Jimmy!" — *“Alright, here’s your $20, Jimmy!”*

Shake their hands to honor the age-old tennis tradition, but secretly relish as you watch the opposition slumbering off with their heads drooped. Good stuff!

Nice rundown of the stats — Statistical breakdown postgame

Namco truly delivers the goods. Not only are there five unique courts but in each of those arenas there’s a certain gimmick or “sight gag” to discover. For example, in the resort you’ll occasionally see a waitress walking around. She’s a bit of a klutz though. You can actually see her falling over! It’s super silly and tons of fun. It just adds to the quirky charm of the game, of which it has in spades.

THE LODGE

Things start out foggy. A giant lodge can be seen in the background. But rather than sipping on some hot cocoa and having a read of the ol’ paper, you’ve opted instead to head out and brave the freezing cold for a little spot of tennis. You mad daredevil you! A flock of birds can be seen hanging around the premises.

Visual deterrent? Not really but the fog does add a nice touch. Brrr. You can almost feel the stinging cold, can’t you? [No, not really -Ed.]

Should the ball reach the fence it sends the birds packing. Pretty cool.

Pretty soon the fog clears out and makes way for bright sunny rays. From there the shadows of the trees envelop the lower bottom of the screen. Nice!

Depending on how the ball travels, you can even catch a glimpse of the shadow effect in full. It’s always a pleasant sight to behold, simple though it may be. It’s the small stuff, ne?

Best of all though is hands down when the flock of birds decide to fly across the screen right as you’re about to serve. Hey, where did the 4th player go there?

Clearly, she’s a tad bit concerned about what the birds might do to her new do! Talk about being distracted. Look at the poor thing struggling between hitting the ball back and dodging the birdies!

Never seen a lass dive to get out of the way of potential poopage before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything! Hey, you do what ya gotta do. Oh and Namco, don’t think we don’t see that little monkey (!) in the window there. It’s bizarre as all hell. But at this point, being Super Family Tennis, you just go with it.

THE SHRINE

Japanese people love tennis, obviously, and this is made abundantly clear with this tennis court situated right in the middle of a Japanese Shinto shrine! It even features a Torii gate for authenticity.

Remember the feeling of agony as a kid having to chase down runaway balls? Super Family Tennis brings back those warm fuzzy childhood memories! Hey, at least it didn’t go underneath the Japanese Shinto shrine there. I hate when that happens.

“Awww, do I really have to? But it’s SO far away! Alright, fiiiiiine!!”

Remember how I said each of the five unique courts have a certain gimmick or sight gag to them? Well this one has two. Here’s the first. See if you can knock the ball into the lion statue there. Doing so prompts the crow to fly away. Neat stuff!

Here’s the second gimmick/sight gag of the stage. It’s possible to hit the ball into one of the tranquil looking ponds!

Never gets old seeing the ball bounce over the rocks and into the pond. It makes a nice little SPLASH sound and from there you can see the ball bouncing back up to the surface. Excellent detail, Namco. Two thumbs WAY up

THE BEACH

Listen to the soothing sounds of the waves crashing against the shore. The game relies purely on its sound effects because there is no music whatsoever. It’s an interesting deviation from the norm and I kind of like it, personally. The crashing waves on this stage makes it feel like you’re really at the beach. I love the crowd of spectators as well as that random guy standing there underneath the coconut tree. Boy, it would be a shame if a coconut falls on his head…

Ocean waves go in and out as you play. It’s a nice effect for sure.

Check out what happens when you hit the ball at that coconut tree…

Nearly fell out of my chair the first time I saw this! It just speaks to Namco’s zany brilliance of adding in little details like this. Best of all, it’s not like it’s easy to hit that tree. It doesn’t happen often so it keeps the effect fresh and enjoyable. You can’t help but eat up stuff like this. You know the developers had a blast making this game.

Speaking of little details, look at that cute little crab dancing its way slowly across the screen. Just another odd random touch that makes me love this game even more.

Almost got ya there, Mr. Crab! I like seeing the ball roll into the ocean. Part of me almost instinctively wants to shout out “BALL!” but then I remember I’m just playing a video game

THE MOUNTAIN

What’s the best, safest place to play a spot of tennis? Why, on a mountain of course. I like how you can see the forest down below, and I like the detail of the jagged rocks on the mountain. Luckily, you can’t fall off the mountain. Whew…

Although you can’t fall off the edge, the ball can. Always fun to see the ball go spiraling off the cliff. Next time you go hike a mountain and you find a bunch of tennis balls at the bottom, now you’ll know why. The more you know!

Shortly after the match begins, you’ll discover a high adrenaline junkie making his way up the mountain cliff. And you thought you were crazy for playing tennis atop a mountain plateau! This maniac makes you look like a chicken…

Setting up camp, he spends the rest of the match waving. OK, we get it, you rock and you’re awesome but chill out, son. Hmm, if that was a way to stop his antics…

THRILL OF A LAST SECOND SAVE

Can you get to it in time? — Can you get to the ball in time?

One of my favorite moments in the game is when the ball is hit almost half the court away, and it doesn’t seem like you can get to it in time. But you make the effort anyway. And at the very last second possible, you make a last gasp dive…

Making a last second diving save is awesome. But even better? Doing it and just barely keeping it in play over the reach of your opponent. Nothing gets the blood pumping like this kind of exciting play. Really makes for some great trash talking!

UM… THAT WAS MY BAD, YO. THAT ONE’S ON ME. HEH…

Unintentionally hilarious, the most “D’OH!” moment comes when you accidentally hit the ball into the back of your partner’s head. D’oh! I love the dirty look they give you as you just kind of stand there going “Heh, um, my bad, yo.”

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

Birds need to consider their path of flight. After all, we all saw what happened when a bird crossed paths with a Randy Johnson 98 MPH fastball…

CLOSE! Bloody birds need to be careful…

ATTACK OF THE CLONES

Mirror selections are possible, with no cheat code required. Now nobody can argue you took their favorite player

SPEAKING OF CLONES

Which is better, Super Tennis or Super Family Tennis? In my book it’s easily the latter. I appreciate Super Tennis for what it is, but I find Super Family Tennis to be superior, far more fun and far more accessible. Not to mention Super Family Tennis has a four player option while Super Tennis doesn’t. Plus, Super Tennis is pretty straight forward. It’s missing the charm and sense of wacky humor that Namco threw at us with their tennis rendition. Honestly, while I still like Super Tennis for what it is, a game like Super Family Tennis kind of makes it a bit obsolete in my book. It falls in that tragic “great games that I never play any more” category.

ACTUALLY, NOT REALLY A CLONE

Super Family Tennis isn’t so much a clone to Super Tennis because Namco released Family Tennis on the Famicom (December 11, 1987). It just turned 29 years old! As you can see from the cosmos court, Family Tennis also featured a quirky sense of style that would later carry over to Namco’s Super Famicom sequel.

A SMASH HIT IN THE EYES OF SUPER PLAY MAGAZINE

Super Play loved it, ranking it #71 on their Top 100 list — Super Play liked it, ranking it #71 on their Top 100 list

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Super Family Tennis is my favorite tennis title on the Super Nintendo, and I’d argue it’s also the best. It’s super easy to pick up and play, with 20 different characters and eight different arenas to play in (five of which are bonkers). It’s full of diving saves, vicious smashes and a sneaky sense of humor you just don’t expect from a game of this nature. But Namco went ahead and did so anyway. And I’m glad they did. Details like the waitress falling over at the resort to the beach bum getting knocked out by coconut have left a lasting impression on my gaming heart. There’s no music but I love the ambient sounds. From the soothing crashing waves of the ocean to the echo chamber sounds of the mountain, it’s something different and refreshing. Control feels very fluid, not stiff at all. When you mess up you know it’s on you, not the controls. Well done, Namco.

This is easily one of the best four player games on the Super Nintendo. Thanks to its charming stages and details, there’s a lot of casual gamer appeal here, or even to the non-gamer. Anyone can pick it up and play. It’s simple and fun. It’s really a shame that this game doesn’t get talked about much. Even to this day I tend to see people recommending Super Tennis without giving this game a shout out. While Super Tennis deserves its props, I really think this is the superior game. If you haven’t tried it yet, and you love yourself a good vintage 16-bit sports game, then be sure to check out Super Family Tennis. I highly doubt you’ll regret it. In fact, the only thing you may regret is that you didn’t play it any sooner!

Full of frills, thrills and spills! — It’s full of frills, thrills and spills!

Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop (SFC)

Yes, that's Michael Jordan of the Bulls, er, Vikings... — Yes, that’s Michael Jordan of the Bu, er, Vikings

In October of 1994 EGM ran a preview on a Super Famicom basketball game by the name of Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. Being a huge fan of NBA Jam, this preview intrigued me highly. Man, I miss those pre-internet days when gaming magazines were not only a thing but they were magical.

Not only was I a huge fan of NBA Jam but I loved Konami’s Run ‘N Gun arcade game. It came out in 1993 and I figured it was only a matter of time before a home translation would come out for the SNES. We finally got it in November 1995 under the name NBA Give ‘N Go. But back in ’94 there was no sign of this, so Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop gave me great hope that I could play a Run ‘N Gun-esque game in the comforts of my home.

Nothing like throwing down a monster jam

After I got back into the SNES in early 2006, I thought back to all the SNES/SFC games I wanted to play and own. Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop came to mind. I remembered the preview in EGM 12 years earlier. Found a copy online and was excited to quell a 12 year long curiosity. But before we get to that, I’d like to share a personal basketball memory that made me a fan of the sport for life.

MIRACLE DAY MIRACLE

Monday, May 29, 1995 is a day I’ll never forget.

It was Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals, pitting the young uprising Orlando Magic vs. the Indiana Pacers. I was at the local mall walking past Radio Shack when I saw the game playing on ten TV screens. There were three people standing there, watching in angst and talking in-between plays. I joined to make it a crowd of four. The game was in the final three minutes and as the drama unfolded the crowd steadily grew with each passing dramatic play. Even the employees stopped to observe the madness.

With under 15 seconds to go, this improbable sequence took place:

Brian Shaw’s 3 pointer gave the Magic the 1 point lead

Reggie Miller answered with one of his own, putting the Pacers back up by 2 causing the Indiana crowd to erupt in a frenzy

Mere seconds later, Anfernee “Penny” Hardaway, nailed a dramatic 3, giving the Magic a 1 point lead with 1.3 seconds to go. It left the sold out capacity crowd in stunned silence

Penny in his prime was something special — Prime Penny was something special

As the game went to its final commercial break there was a deafening buzz within Radio Shack’s small confines. To this day I can still hear that classic NBA on NBC theme, blaring on no less than ten television monitors. The incomparable John Tesh theme reverberated throughout the store and the entire mall itself. It’s one of those vivid childhood memories that haunts me to the core even more than 20 years later.

Suddenly we were no longer just a bunch of strangers. This playoff basketball game magically banded us together. I saw basketball in a new light. There was strategy, tactics. Beyond that, I started appreciating the concept of teamwork and five different people of varying size and skills working as one well oiled machine.

That day I developed a much deeper appreciation for basketball. It’s the moment I became a fan for life.

Fakes... shoots... HE HITS HE HITS HE HITS!!! — *“Fakes, shoots and — HE HITS HE HITS!!!”*

Down by one point with 1.3 seconds left, the ball made its way to the dunking Dutchman, Rik Smits. He faked, shot and the ball ripped nothing but net as the buzzer sounded off. The place became unglued and the roof blew off. Radio Shack became a mad house.

I was only 11 years old while everyone else around me was 20 or older. Those 15 minutes cheering and booing madly at the TV screen with a bunch of folks I never met before… PRICELESS. Basketball brings people together.

PUTTING A 12 YEAR CURIOSITY TO REST

3 on 3 mode is the best — Ah, a Slender Man sponsorship

There’s always a moment of slight hesitation when popping in a game you have been wondering about for many years.

There are 16 non-official teams plus one Japan team. Though oddly, if you look at the EGM preview you’ll see Spurs and Bulls. So I looked at the teams closer. The subtle not-so-hidden parallels are definitely there. For example check out the Wizards (keep in mind back in ’94 the Wizards were known as the Washington Bullets). Their court is the same color as the Orlando Magic and they have a starting center with incredible stats who wears # 32 (Shaquille O’Neal). Besides, Magic… Wizards… hmmm…

Shaq’s 1993 stats in bold. Cooper’s stats in italics:

23.4 points per game
23.5 ppg

13.9 rebounds per game
14.0 rpg

56% field goal
57% FG

59% free throw
60% FT

So there are real players in this game. Just like the classic Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball, the jersey numbers are the same as well as their stats (or very close anyhow). They just have different names. Sneaky!

PRACTICE MODES

Fancy a game of one on one? You can with Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. First to 10 points win. It’s pretty fun for a quick little fix. When you make shots the game gives you some encouraging messages, such as GREAT! and NICE DUNK!

Regular field goals count as one point in this mode, and three point shots are worth two. Just like on the playground. You know what this mode reminds me of?

Jordan vs. Bird! (Sega Genesis) — *Jordan vs. Bird* (Sega Genesis)

Perhaps you fancy practicing your free throws? HUMAN gives you that option! Of course, the Fire Pro creators are big on timing. It’s kind of their thing. You have to release the ball at just the precise moment to swish the shot. A little off and it will rim in. But anymore off target and you’ll brick the shot. It takes some practice but once you get it down it’s extremely satisfying. And of course you get the lovely Engrish of “NICE SHOOT!” when you make a basket.

Oh man, 9/9. No pressure... — Oh man, 9/9. No pressure…

Perfecto!

5 ON 5 MODE

Things look promising... — Orlando Magic in the house

It looks just like a poor man’s Run ‘N Gun. So far, so good! Unfortunately, it doesn’t play as well. On the bright side, there is no slowdown or lag whatsoever. On the downside, it’s way too easy to steal and block shots. The team that is going down the court also has a disadvantage as the view is more obscured. There’s still some decent fun to be had but it’s passable. Between this mode and NBA Give ‘N Go, I’d rather play Give ‘N Go.

Nice black jerseys though — Ah, FILA. Totally ’90s huh?

Definitely not unplayable and there’s zero trace of slowdown, but it’s nothing special.

3 ON 3 MODE

The last mode, 3 on 3, takes me back to my blacktop days. Pick any of the 17 teams and then pick any three players on that team. Then duke it out in a 3 on 3 half court battle. Adjust the time from 3, 6, 9 or 12 minutes. It’s one quarter to the finish. Best of all, since you’re playing half court, everyone gets the top end of the court which has no obstruction of view. The passing is less clunky on account of there being less players to pass to. It works like a charm.

Hoop Dreams, baby! — Slam it home with authority

This mode somehow never gets old.

Select from two different courts in the 3 on 3 mode. It’s all cosmetic but these little touches go a long way in my book. I love both courts. The beach one has that exotic fun casual feel to it, like you and your buddies are hooping it up after a summer BBQ. The other court has an impeccable street ball gritty feel to it. In addition, you can pick from four different color balls. I like the funky blue ball. [You would, wouldn’t you… -Ed.]

EVEN MORE CHOICES…

Punch in any of these secret codes at the password screen and it’ll give you the option of playing either at dusk or dawn. It only works on the beach court though. Check out how atmospheric these new backdrops are:

Oooooh, ahhhhh. I love it when a company puts in these extra details. It goes a long way to make the game even more endearing. I love the feeling of balling in the early morning or late at evening. It’s the small things!

Night or morning, morning or night — raining threes with the greatest of ease!

AND EVEN MORE CHOICES STILL…

Press any direction on the D-pad at the versus screen and you can change the floor design of your selected court. Try up, down, left or right. Hell, you can even try up-left or up-right for even more choices. Or down-right and down-left. Here you can see I swapped the floors for the two courts.

Reminds me ever so slightly of the Mortal Kombat games and how you could tinker with the icons at the versus screen to unlock secrets…

Favorite combos for me: the green court matches the coconut trees nicely. Dig that green overload. Speaking of overload, how about the combination seen in the second pic there? Talk about splendid color coordination! It’s so inviting and hits all the sweet spots.

A GAME FOR THE AGES

Before the start of a game you can view stats as well as change the lineup. I love how they list their stats both by numbers, percentages and then in Marvel 1991 style they have the pink bars. Japan is the best shooting team in the game and if you’re looking to be Stephen Curry then Japan is your go to team.

Things start off well as I nail a simple mid-range jump shot that hits nothing but net.

Another sick dunk — 360 in your face! 7-Up.

Definitely way too easy to block shots but that only lends an arcade style to the otherwise simulation feel. It’s a fine balance that works well.

Trailing 9-12, Hara makes a beeline for that 3 point line and swishes a 2 pointer right through the net. 11-12 with under two minutes to go.

AGAIN from way downtown! Hara ties the game at 13 points a piece.

ARGH!! Hara barely misses a clutch 3 point shot. Thus sending the ball back to the Rings up 16-13 with only 41 seconds to go. It ain’t looking good for Team Japan…

Mutsuki with the save! 15-16 with 30 seconds left!

Right on cue, Hara hits yet another clutch shot, bringing the score to 17 all with just 18 seconds remaining.

Stealing and blocking the ball happen a little too frequently as mentioned earlier, but it sure makes for some dramatic defensive stands! The Rings try to break the 17-17 tie, but that’s not happening tonight — no siree!

Every kid grows up dreaming about hitting the game winning shot. Here’s Hara’s chance. Running to his sweet spot, Hara drills a picture perfect jumpshot, giving me the lead 18-17 with only two seconds remaining. Clutch! But I can’t get too cocky now. The Rings still have two seconds left…

Baumann rises for the game winning shot. He barely gets the ball out of his hands as the shot clock expires. This is either going to be the greatest victory ever or the worst defeat of all time…

WHEW! In and out! Talk about cutting it as close. Look at that Baumann punk turning around after shooting the ball. You ain’t Steph Curry, son!

Japan is such a good shooting team. Steph Curry and Klay Thompson would be proud.

Defeat everyone in the Round Robin mode and you’ll get this snazzy congratulations shot.

Speaking of endings, if you enter this password you can view all of the game’s multiple endings. Human did it with Clock Tower as well. It was kind of their thing to have multiple endings, no?

Goddess of Victory, eh? Who is that, Lady Luck’s mother?

MISCELLANEOUS

In either 3 on 3 or 5 on 5, you can play an exhibition or compete in a Round Robin. In Round Robin you’re given a password after each victory. At the end you’ll face your clones and then the USA Dream Team

Can you handle the Dream Team? — 1992 Dream Team was the best

Street Hoop (Neo Geo) came out in December 1994, a month after this game. There’s something about a basketball court right in the middle of a beach that does it for me…

Everybody's gone jamming. Jamming USA! — Everybody’s gon’ hoopin’. Hoopin’ USA!

I’m a sucker for the players’ ratings. Reminds me of the old ’91 Marvel trading card series. Ah, those were the days…

My friends and I collected the hell out of the 1991 Marvel cards. My favorite thing about them were the pink energy bars on the back that let you know at a quick glance what you wanted to know. Playing Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop and seeing the Marvel ’91-esque pink energy bars brought back a lot of fond memories!

The 3 on 3 mode is good for quick arcade thrills but the full-court 5 on 5 mode has more strategy thanks to the bench and stamina factor. Players are rated fresh, OK or tired. You’ll have to do some managing throughout the four quarters to keep your players fresh

My favorite team are the Photons. In the 3 on 3 mode I use Rogers, Davidson and Feguso

STREET BALL MEMORIES

All you need is a ball, a hoop and a dream — All you needed was a ball, a hoop and a dream

From playing hoops in my backyard as a youth to balling on the blacktops as a teenager, I have fond memories of the game. At the heart of the game lies a bigger message. Case in point: 1997, 8th grade. One day at lunch I was playing one-on-one with my friend, Simon. Then we noticed these three 7th graders bullying a hapless runt. Seeing them push the defenseless kid around pissed me off. I looked at Simon and without saying a word I knew he knew what we both knew. And thus, we made our way over to the kerfuffle…

I challenged the three 7th graders to a game of 21 — 3-on-3 style. The kid getting bullied wasn’t much of a baller, but I had an overwhelming confidence in Simon and myself that we could beat these cocky bastards. Simon was the Dennis Rodman of the team. Man, nobody could hit the glass like Simon. Dude was a beast on the boards. As for me, I was the three point specialist. The Reggie Miller of the team. And on that cloudy afternoon, I drained three pointer after three pointer. Hand in my face — it didn’t matter. I was a man on a mission. Not only did I want to beat those losers but I had to defend the honor of that kid.

Basketball pundits like to call it being in the proverbial zone. And that I was on that idyllic, cloudy afternoon — swishing three point shot after three point shot!

It was one of those afternoons I wished would last forever. The sky was blue with puffy clouds standing still overhead. Amid the usual lunch playground chatter of 7th and 8th graders jockeying for social position and status on the hierarchy that is junior high, I was in my own world. Bombing three after three, the opposition had no answer.

My team won going away. The three bullies bitched at each other in disbelief before slagging off, disappearing around the corner moments later. Simon and I smiled at each other. The little 7th grade kid said four words I still remember to this day with great fondness.

“Thanks for the help.”

Simon and I watched in silence as he walked away, his head held high. Through basketball, in a way, we saved him. It was just one more reason for me to love the game as much as I did. You can be big, small, black, purple, it don’t matter. It’s a game that brings people together. It can even heal some wounds, as it did that serene cloudy afternoon of 1997

CLOSING THOUGHTS

My favorite SNES bball game — This game is my spirit animal ^_^

On a technical level, the NBA Jam and the NBA Live games are far superior. But on a fun level, I actually prefer Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. If a basketball game could be my spirit animal, this game would be it. It just resonates with me in a deep and personal way that no other basketball game does. I always have a blast playing it. The 3 on 3 mode takes me back to the days of my youth balling without a single care in the world. From making friends to even saving a kid from being bullied, basketball has always been a part of my life. Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop captures the feeling of street ball to a tee. I also love the little touches like the secret courts and being able to play at dawn, mid-day or dusk. This is such a criminally obscure hidden gem for basketball junkies.

Nothing like playing hoops under the stars — Nothing like hooping it up under the stars

It’s been over 10 years now since I bought this game and still to this day I find myself busting it out frequently. I can’t guarantee you’ll like this game — hell I bet you probably won’t like it as much as I do, but if you enjoy vintage 16-bit basketball games then it’s certainly worth a look. Call me crazy but Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop is one of my all-time favorite Super Nintendo games, period. I know that may sound a bit absurd but there are certain games you just click with that’s hard to explain. There are many better SNES games than this but few I enjoy playing more than Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop!

R.I.P. Craig Sager. 6.29.51-12.15.16. You were the man!

Tetris Battle Gaiden (SFC)

It’s *Tetris* like you’ve never seen it before

Arriving just in the nick of time for Christmas of 1993 (December 24), Tetris Battle Gaiden is the best Super Famicom puzzle game to never hit North American shores. It’s truly a shame they never ported this over for a US audience. If they had, this game would be more universally recognized and lionized to this very day. Thankfully, anyone with a Super Nintendo (or a computer) can experience it all the same nevertheless. Well, there is a bit of Japanese to wade through, but being a puzzle game and not an RPG, a fan translation is not absolutely needed to enjoy this as is.

tetrisbg-box1 — The box is inundated with the game’s various characters

Released on December 24, 1993, one wonders why this didn’t see a US release in mid to late 1994. There wasn’t much to translate and the Tetris name alone would have sold a ton of copies. Not to mention the gameplay is very expansive with several different game modes and new tricks that freshen up a classic, proven formula. Sure the characters were on the anime side, and back in the mid ’90s that wasn’t really a thing in US culture. But they could have easily modified the characters, no? Alas, it just wasn’t meant to be. On second thought, look at those zany lovable Japanese-y characters. Maybe it’s a good thing these guys weren’t turned into generic boring barbarians and the typical “radical” mid ’90s look in American video gaming. Speaking of characters, let’s take a look at them now!

PUMPKIN

Pumpkinhead here adorns the cover and has a classic colorful Halloween backdrop. Yup, I can definitely get behind this guy.

MIRURUN

Awwww, isn’t it adorable? Because bunny things just are! By the way, I love the bright visuals of this game. The art style is also on point.

SHAMAN

Witch doctor at your service! Look at all those exotic animals.

ALADDIN

Disney’s version this ain’t. Still got his Magic Carpet and Genie though. Beautiful backdrop.

PRINCESS

Majestic background if I ever saw one. Good job, Bullet Proof Software.

BIT

#SMALLLIVESMATTER. At least a little bit, right? [I see what you did there -Ed.]

NINJA

Ninjas were cool back then in the ’90s, and gosh darnit, they’re still cool today.

WOLFMAN

Wolfman’s stage is simply gorgeous. Perfect to play on a late fall afternoon!

FROM THE BOOK OF TETRIS

Always been a sucker for a good page turner, and this game most definitely is.

BATTLE!

Select from any of the eight characters, then select your desired first opponent. The game’s presentation is on point. Puzzle games aren’t usually noted for their visuals but there’s no denying this game has a very pleasing look to the eye. Everything is bright, bold and colorful. Graphics don’t make a game, but they certainly don’t hurt.

Your eyes deceive you not. One of the most unique things about this game that you’ll noticed right away is that the pieces are communal. Rather than both players getting the same pieces, here you share one queue.

Tetris purists may scoff at this, but I personally find it refreshing. It lends a whole new strategy to the game. Sometimes you find yourself stalling in order to get the desired piece. Other times you purposely rush in order to secure the next block. Which is exactly what I did here. Notice I dropped the “z” block in a bad space just to ensure that I can get the square piece which has a crystal. The crystal brings a whole new dimension to the classic formula. Observe!

Every time you clear a crystal you earn one point. Each character has four different special battle skills. Some are offensive while others are defensive. You can use your skills right away, or save them. The number of points required to use a skill is respective to its level. For example, a level one skill requires one point while a level four skill requires four points. Do you use a certain power now, or do you save for a stronger power later on? It’s all part of the strategy.

Yes, gonna beat him to the Tetris! — Yes, gonna beat ‘im to the tetris!

The battle can quickly grow intense as players joust for the right block at the right time. Sometimes, you simply want to play defense by, er, blockblocking the opposition. Yeah I just made that word up. Who knows, maybe it’ll catch on? [Oh sure… -Ed.]

What’s sweeter than earning a crystal point? Clearing two crystals in a line and earning two points! Now I have three points. Do I unleash my level 3 skill, or save it to use a level 4 skill down the road? Decisions, decisions!

Meanwhile, Mirurun ain’t waiting around. He uses his level 1 skill to blow up a few rows from his well. Like I said, this ain’t your typical Tetris game.

Every Tetris player knows the feeling of anguish and self-loathing when you accidentally misplace a block. But in this case, it’s your opponent who does. Well, in a manner of speaking. You see, one of Miru’s skills is the power to distort the way you control your blocks. Naturally this is temporary, but it’s long enough to throw you off your game leading to some unfortunate block positioning. But never fear, I see a tetris piece coming soon! Commence the “rush or stall” game within a game! Again, some purists may scoff at this, but I say it brings an added rush to the table!

Nothing beats clearing four lines at once! I love the way the pieces rotate and disappear from the field. There’s something satisfying about it, for sure.

Miru’s distortion of control skill is super annoying. Don’t get me wrong, with Christmas season here and everything I truly appreciate what the cross stands for, but I didn’t want to make a cross up there! Bloody stinkin’ bunny thing!

Alright Mr. Bunny, time to unleash hell. Pumpkin blows up Miru’s well, leaving only bits and pieces standing (many awkwardly in mid-air). This power wreaks havoc and can really mess up the opposition.

Another point added *and* I scored the tetris block. Win! Moments like these can really demoralize the competition, and provides plenty of trash talking opportunity.

Scored four points (again) and about to murder Mirurun. Take a look.

With his well nearly filled up, all it takes is one final shove to send the whole thing crashing. I love how your character appears on screen for a brief moment before unleashing their special attack. It makes it feel a little more important (not to mention a lot more fun, too). Oh man, look at that well. He’s so screwed.

Nothing compares to the sweet thrill of victory. Sure in other puzzle games you tend to send debris over after landing chain reactions, but I like how battle-oriented Tetris Battle Gaiden is. Hence the “Battle” middle name. It’s more than just sending debris over to your opponent’s field. It’s an all out war where you get to literally sabotage your rival. It’s a fight to the very bitter end.

Battle all seven of your rivals. After successfully conquering each of them, this big bad dragon baddie is your reward prize. Lucky you.

SOME MORE SKILLS AND SPECIALS

Clearly what’s happening here is that those blocks have displayed exemplary behavior, and are being beckoned to block heaven. I mean, duh!

Those bats swoop to your opponent’s side to steal any crystal points they may have earned. ProTip: make sure first though that your opponent has something to steal. D’oh! But yeah, play your cards right and you’re well on your way to victory. No more L’s… well, except when you get the L blocks [… -Ed.]

Searchlight skill is downright evil. It blackens the field and only gives you a small flashlight with which to contend. Talk about devious.

Speaking of blackening, and seeing the light, here comes the Reaper!

Sometimes it just ain’t fair. My blocks, my beautiful blocks!

Wolfman’s level 2 skill is rather strange but endearing. A peculiar old man appears at the bottom of the screen and prevents your opponent from sending blocks down at the fastest speed possible. Whenever the opponent tries to press down, the man will strain to resist to the point that you can see small sweat beads flying off his forehead. Good stuff. This power lasts for 28 seconds (yes, I actually timed it…)

Wolfman can also summon a miniature samurai to slice off the first few rows.

Wolfman’s level 4 skill inserts gravity into the picture, which allows for suspended blocks to fall until they land on something. This leads to some deadly combos. The only blocks that don’t fall are the ones that contain the crystal. This skill, however, is useless in the “Rensa” mode, but more on that in a little bit.

I SAW JESUS ON MY TOAST BREAD!

Know how some folks claim to see Jesus in the oddest places? They saw him in the clouds, or their morning toast. Whatever the case may be, Tetris Battle Gaiden reminds me of such stories. Because the way the pieces can form causes some interesting sights for sure from time to time. Check out the red monster in the second pic there, as well as the two middle fingers [Oh, I thought that was just a really long raccoon face. Or hell, since this is the Japanese we’re talking about here, a Tanuki -Ed.]

MODES OF PLAY

Battlis is Tetris Battle Gaiden. The pieces operate as they do in normal Tetris, but certain blocks now contain crystals. Cleared crystals build up your point stock, and these can be redeemed to launch various powers.

Not a fan of the crystals and unique character abilities? Then select this mode for old school Tetris fun. It’s definitely nice that Bullet Proof Software included this option as it almost feels like two games in one. I personally prefer Battlis but it’s nice to know you always have the original mode to fall back on.

Rensa is an interesting mode. It includes the crystals and powers of Battlis, but now the pieces operate with gravity in mind. Remember Wolfman’s level 4 skill highlighted a bit earlier? That’s basically Rensa. Here, take a look.

Notice that the pieces fall until they reach the top of another block or the floor itself. Crystals, however, do not fall. Rensa allows for chain reactions, making it feel more like a “modern” puzzler.

Check out this 3 line chain reaction. Personally, I prefer classic Tetris over Rensa, but it’s nice to have this mode if you’re in the mood for something a it different.

RECEPTION

Super Play loved it, ranking it #24 on their Top 100 list

Tetris Battle Gaiden has quite the positive reputation. Although a few purists dislike it, it’s generally well received. Super Play Magazine, a UK publication dedicated to the SNES back in the early to mid ’90s, were huge fans of the game. They loved it so much that they ranked it an impressive #24 on their Top 100 SNES Games list in issue #42 (April 1996). They did fail to mention above though that the game actually features three modes, not two. Poor Rensa. Always the forgotten red headed step child.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Takes you on a magic (carpet) ride — Takes ya on a magic (carpet) ride

Tetris Battle Gaiden has been recommended to me over the years. Picked up a copy in 2006 and fell in love with it. It’s the best Super Famicom exclusive puzzle game in my book, and one of the best puzzlers on the SNES, period. Some purists aren’t crazy about the Battlis mode, but you can always switch to classic Tetris mode (or Rensa mode). I love that there are three different playing options and eight different characters with a total of 32 unique skills and abilities. The replay value on this sucker is insane! Some purists also scoff at the fact that the blocks are shared between two players. I actually don’t mind this. It brings a certain sense of urgency (and strategy) to the fold. Do you drop that piece as fast as you can in a race to grab the next much needed block, or do you stall a few blocks ahead as to time it just right? It’s the ultimate hand-eye coordination test as you have to continually eye the queue more than your average puzzle game. You have to constantly be thinking 3-4 pieces ahead all while taking care of your own field and contend with your opponent sending over debris or sabotaging you in various ways. I also love how sometimes you play offense, other times you play defense. And nothing’s better than “blockblocking” your opponent — to snatch that much needed tetris block piece right before they can — and rubbing it in their faces. Good stuff.

I usually don’t commend graphics in most puzzle games as they’re usually serviceable at best, but Tetris Battle Gaiden is full of amazing art and endearing animations. The backgrounds are all incredibly detailed and bursting with rich colors. It’s almost a shame that you really can’t see them due to the blocks. The music is extremely catchy and there are several tunes that I’m particularly fond of. The gameplay strikes a sweet spot with three different modes that expand the game’s longevity tenfold. What can I say, Tetris Battle Gaiden is a winner through and through. I can’t recommend it enough to anyone who enjoys a good puzzle game now and again.