January | 2017 | RVGFanatic

Equinox (SNES)

***Pub: Sony | Dev: Software Creations | March 1994 | 8 MEGS***

During the summer of 1990, Software Creations released a NES title by the name of Solstice. Based off 1984’s Knight Lore, players use a wizard named Shadax who goes from one isometric room to another. It was a long challenging action puzzle quest, with one crushing flaw — there was no password or save feature. Three years later the same firm cranked out a sequel for the SNES with a proper save system. Glendaal, son of Shadax, finds himself in a mad rush to save his imprisoned father from the vile clutches of Sonia the witch. It’s hard and a bit tricky but it can be fairly addicting and rewards those who persevere.

QUELLING A CHILDHOOD CURIOSITY

I was curious about this game for 20 years... — I was curious about this game for over 20 years…

I vividly remember seeing Equinox previewed in EGM and GameFan back in 1994. The screenshots had me intrigued. There just weren’t very many isometric games on the SNES at the time. It looked like an enticing mix of adventure and action puzzle. It captivated my imagination. But as it often was back in the day, my brother had the final say in the games we rented. And unfortunately for me, Equinox never tickled his fancy enough to make him want to rent it. Thus, Equinox became one of over 100 Super Nintendo games I always wanted to play but never did. In December of 2014, after over 20 years, I finally righted a childhood wrong. 24 hours of total play time and a thousand deaths later, I was able to reunite Glendaal with his dad, Shadax. Back in ’94 I always had this gut feeling that this was an awesome game. And I’m proud to say it comes awfully close to being just that. As I sat back to watch the father and son duo reconvene in a bout of redemption, a feeling of pride swelled deep from within. Few things are as satisfying in this great hobby of ours than finally quelling a longstanding childhood curiosity. Not only that but conquering and loving every second of it. Good times.

Yes indeed, as I write this it’s Monday, January 30, 2017. Exactly 11 years ago, on Monday, January 30, 2006, I bought a copy of Equinox at my childhood Hollywood Video store. 11 years. Where does the time go?

I loved their buy 2 get 1 free deal :) — ***I loved their buy two, get one free deal***

Back in the day (mid 2000s) Hollywood Video used to house a Game Crazy within its store. They sold modern and retro games. They had a buy two retro games, get one free deal that I took advantage of multiple times. Game Crazy was low key awesome back in 2006.

This is my actual childhood Hollywood Video location :) — This is my actual childhood Hollywood Video store!

Childhood curiosity purchased from my childhood store? Perfect! Man, I used to go to this Hollywood Video back in the ’90s all the time. It opened in early 1994 and lasted all the way to 2010. This shot was taken on a cold rainy Monday night in January 2006. It just captures those innocent early SNES resurrection days of mine to a tee. Driving all over town, including my old stomping grounds, to hit up all the local Game Crazy stores within a 100 mile radius, all in the good name of reclaiming bits and pieces from my childhood. This picture just epitomizes the splendor and rush of those early days. 11 years… 11 freaking years. Wow.

Oh the weather outside is frightful... — ***OH, THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL…***

THE STORY GOES…

Better late than never… it was arguably worth the wait.

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, ER, EQUINOX

It may look simple but it certainly isn't — It may look simple but it certainly isn’t

Stock up on weapons, spells, potions, apples and keys — Stock up on weapons, spells, potions, keys and more

Zap and save are my favorite magic spells of the lot

Finding each weapon on each continent is critical

Change your weapon or spell whenever you like

Each realm has 3-4 different hubs that all link together — Each realm has 3-4 different hubs that link together

You can rotate the screen on the overworld map. Nifty — You can rotate the screen on the overworld map

1. Galadonia
2. Tori
3. Deeso
4. Atlena
5. Quagmire
6. Afralona
7. Ghost Ship
8. Death Island

THE BIG BAD BOSSES

Don’t let the ‘LIFE’ meter fool you. One hit and you’re dead. LIFE merely symbolizes how many lives you have left. So you can imagine how intense the boss battles must be. They take a good amount of damage before biting the dust. As they turn red and face the brink of extermination, the tension mounts to a fever pitch. The first boss is Bonehead. I found him to be far tougher than almost all the other bosses due to his seemingly unpredictable and erratic pattern. It took me several tries and it may take you just as many, too.

Sung Sung is the mammoth guardian of the second world (Tori). He’s an impressive sight. Towering over our hero, I remember seeing him in screenshots back in ’94 and being secretly afraid of him. I love his design. It’s so badass. Sung Sung likes to burrow deep below the earth before popping back up to toss giant boulders your way. He’s more bark than bite, however. His pattern is easy to figure out and it becomes a matter of standing in the right spots only to move when necessary. This pattern becomes the majority of the boss battles in Equinox.

Quetzalcoatl is the end level guardian of Deeso. Deeso is a barren desert kingdom whose eerie dungeons are littered (and maybe haunted) with the remains of an ancient civilization. Quetzalcoatl, which means “feathered serpent,” is a Mesoamerican deity whose name comes from the Nahuatl language. It fits the whole ancient civilization feel of the stage. As you pelt away at the giant living statue, it breaks down one block at a time. At the very end there’s a nasty little surprise in store for you. I won’t spoil it but let’s just say you might need a fresh pair of underpants ready…

Pincha uses his claws to guard his vulnerable eyes. Shoot him when he swipes his claws and you just might nail him. Once you figure out where to stand, Pincha becomes a bit of a cakewalk. But be careful — as he weakens he can spaz out which makes his sudden movements rather unpredictable and dangerous.

Despite being the most generic enemy in the world of RPGs, Equinox‘s graphics are so impressive that even a simple looking giant blob creature still looks pretty damn cool. Especially when he turns red right before his imminent demise. Dollop is the final obstacle in your journey to collect all five strings. Once you have all five strings you can play the harp which sends you to the kingdom of Afralona. Dollop bounces around the screen, sending out smaller versions of himself. You may never look at grape Jell-O the same ever again… [Oh, Bill Cosby already took care of that -Ed.]

Eyesis [ISIS?! -Ed.] is a gigantic spinning pyramid with excellent defense. Its only weak spot being its eye up top. Your dexterity game needs to be on point as Eyesis spins around like a rampaging tornado. Once again this is another boss fight that isn’t so bad once you suss out the pattern. So far I find Bonehead to be the most effective and challenging boss. So if you can thwart Bonehead, then these next handful of bosses shouldn’t be too hard. Their bark is far tougher than their bite. Still, they all look badass and feel awesome to take down.

The troll isn’t a boss [you straight trollin’ now -Ed.] but he’s such a cool design I had to show him off. Trolls litter the overworld map. If one touches you on the map, you’re taken to a separate screen where it’s a fight to the finish. You can beat the game without fighting a single troll but it’s ill-advised. Beating them has benefits such as gaining an extra life meter whenever you’ve conquered a world. Trolls come in various colors just like in real life. Their only form of offense is hopping around. Trolls can be tricky due to their size and the small single screen so don’t take them lightly.

Billy Bones, the maniacal captain of the ghostly galleon, fires off cannonballs relentlessly until he’s dead. He doesn’t think. He doesn’t feel. He doesn’t stop. Pumping out cannonballs like no one’s business, Billy is straight up savage. He is all that stands between you and Death Island. Beat Mr. Bones and advance to Ice Palace — Sonia’s last stand.

Are you ready for the final showdown? Tough as nails, Sonia is only vulnerable in the face during a certain period of time. To make matters even worse, her fireballs move around the screen. Thankfully they can be shot down but they do require several shots to eradicate. Sonia’s cloak turns more red as her health diminishes. By the time she is a crimson red, your heartbeat is sure to be racing a million beats a minute. It took me roughly 30 tries to beat her. I came close several times but a boneheaded mistake would cost me the battle. Finally, I locked in and kicked her ass. I’ve since tried to beat her a second time but have not been able to. She’s a tough cookie. The whole game is pretty tough but never impossible, so it’s fitting for Sonia to be a stiff challenge.

The ad made the bosses look badass and SCARY

1. GALADONIA

2. TORI

This spell proves to be extremely handy later on... — This spell proves to be extremely handy later on…

Later on weapons and spells aren't out in the open — Later on weapons and spells aren’t out in the open

Equinox's many secrets makes exploring rather fun! — *Equinox*‘s many secrets makes exploring rather fun!

Because these guys can only be killed when shot in the back (the only part of their fat bodies not covered up with armor), the slow spell is the only way to kill these bastards. For the hassle you get a green key. A key can be used only once. Gotta collect ‘em all!

Sometimes killing all enemies on screen earns you a key. Other times you’ll get a token. Either way, securing the latest key or token is a mini-rush. It’s what makes Equinox addicting — grabbing the latest elusive item to inch your way closer to your goal.

Games can easily be ruined by poor design, especially when you have such massive worlds. Thankfully, the keys and tokens are all placed in perfect position. Equinox is a giant puzzle where each piece connects. Be ready to make countless leaps of faith, including the kind where you must bend in mid-air. These mid-air jumps were always fun, albeit tricky. There’s a slight learning curve but pretty soon you’ll kick ass.

3. DEESO

Think P.U.S.H (PUSH UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!)

Jumps become progressively more difficult. Imagine inching yourself all the way to the edge of a platform. Then leaping as high and far as you can to barely land pixel perfect on the edge of the next platform. The jumps are doable yet rather brutal — therein lies the brilliance.

Partly what accounts for the jumps being so difficult has to do with the lack of shadows. Too many times it’s hard to determine exactly where a platform is. Therefore, seemingly easy jumps can easily be miscalculated. It takes some time and patience to work out the kinks but the game was so addictive that I found myself constantly saying, “JUST ONE MORE TRY…”

Many of the rooms have some sort of puzzle to work out. Some are easier to figure out than others, while some involve multiple gimmicks. Here you must first push a block over before leaping on top of the iron gate. Wait for it to rise and then grab the token. SUH-WEET!

Contend with a frisky ghost in uncomfortably close quarters. Then make your way to the top of the gate while avoiding the spikes to collect the token. Good stuff.

4. ATLENA

Lying just south of Deeso, Atlena is a handful of villages supported by wooden platforms. It floats above the murky dungeon world of a sunken castle.

Atlena has a stellar underwater atmosphere. Unfortunately, what these shots don’t show are the constant water currents that flow throughout. The whole level is rather breathtaking.

Gotta love all the seaweed that’s strewn about. The enormous eggs add an extra sense of mystery and intrigue. What’s inside? More importantly, is the mother lurking around somewhere? Meanwhile, the Green Devil there can only be killed with the zap spell.

Many often cite Atlena as one of the hardest levels in the entire game. I didn’t find it too tough personally, but there is a noticeable difficulty spike that occurs here.

I just have to show the awesome watery visuals ^_^

ProTip: Atlena is flooded [har har -Ed.] with invisible doors — ProTip: Atlena is flooded (sorry) with invisible doors

Some tokens can only be acquired via an invisible door — Some tokens can only be had via an invisible door

Stuck in a room with no key? Look for a hidden door

Some hidden entrances are obscure as bloody hell... — Some hidden entrances are obscure as bloody hell…

5. QUAGMIRE

South of Tori, Quagmire (love that name) is a swampy, fetid place worthy of its name. It’s difficult to navigate as death surrounds you.

Some of the most brutal pixel perfect jumps in the entire game call Quagmire home.

Each world has its own unique feel and vibe. Quagmire is one of my favorite levels because of its bewitching atmosphere.

The mix of greens, blues and purples blend to create a gorgeous and haunting underground universe.

Quagmire has tortuous pixel perfect jumps.

Look no further than trying to jump from a moving platform on to another platform surrounded by death on both sides. Brutal!

Each hub entrance drops you into a different part of the dungeon. A rope ladder allows you to exit if you find one particular area of a dungeon too difficult to begin with. This is valuable because other than the save spell (which is found late in the game), exiting a hub is the only way to save.

And remember, whenever in doubt, push!

Thought moving platforms were evil? Just wait until you encounter platforms that automatically slide you off unless you push in the opposite direction. Falling off at any point leads to an early death and room reset.

Equinox will test your sanity at times!

So far, so easy. So far…

Confession time: this room killed me 40 times until I figured out you can’t actually jump over the taller plant. You had to jump over the smaller one and THEN twist in mid-air to land safely on the other side. Yup, moments like this sure humble you.

Some of the more clever puzzles involve using the bad guys to unintentionally lend you a helping hand. Sometimes you can’t kill them if you want to grab a key or token. Other times you can only get a key or token after killing all the enemies in a room. It’s this back and forth mystery that makes it so much fun to play.

Thankfully enemies respawn in certain rooms (after exiting said room) if they’re not meant to be killed. Well, except for one infamous glitch crashing room, ahem, which I’ll highlight a bit later on.

Quagmire has crazy hidden doors, just like Atlena

6. AFRALONA

ProTip: You might want to check the wall behind you... — ProTip: You might want to check the wall behind you

These pixel perfect jumps can be pretty brutal

Afralona is balls to the walls [Don't ever review Ballz -Ed.] — Afralona is balls to the walls [Never review Ballz -Ed.]

7. GHOST SHIP

No turning back now... — No turning back now…

Fun gimmick that makes the Ghost Ship super tough

8. ICE PALACE

The Twin Swords are by far the best weapon in Equinox — The Twin Swords turns you into a killing machine

Some keys are harder to attain than the actual tokens — Some keys are harder to grab than the actual tokens

The final boss fight is as intense as it gets!

Sonia is one wicked tough ultimate boss. Remember, one hit and you’re dead (ignore the LIFE meter there). As Sonia weakens, she turns more and more red. By the time she’s a crimson red the pressure really mounts as you’re so close to your end goal — one lapse in focus can send you back to the very beginning of this long and arduous final battle!

ICE PALACE’S FATAL FLAW DEBUNKED

Dead end? Not so fast... — Dead end? Not so fast…

Before playing Equinox for the first time, I came across a post claiming that the last world has a critical flaw. If you forget to grab a key and you pass a certain point then there is no way to backtrack, thus leaving you in a dead zone. You can imagine what happens if you save right before. You would, in theory, have to start an entirely new game! I thought I reached that point of no return when I failed to acquire a certain key and found myself stuck in said infamous room. In my initial attempts to backtrack, I first scaled those two pillars there. Each time I would jump off but end up landing on the spikes. No matter how hard I tried, I could not clear the spikes. I was stuck. And screwed. Or so it seemed…

In reality, you CAN safely backtrack. But you mustn’t jump. All you had to do was simply step off the ledge and a hidden block will reveal itself. D’oh. Again, this game has moments that are sure to humble ya.

GHOST SHIP’S FATAL FLAW

You get four save slots. It's wise to use multiple slots... — You get four save slots. It’s wise to use multiple slots

THE GREAT EQUINOX EQUALIZER

You're not quite invincible but you do get infinite lives — You’re not quite invincible, but you get infinite lives

With infinite lives and magic, you can die as many times as you like with the safety net of knowing you always come back. It’s nice and works well for this game especially seeing as how it’s one hit and you’re dead. Not only that, but the “difficult to make things out” perspective and questionable collision detection is thrown out the window with this code. I limited my spell usage but I would be lying if I didn’t say having infinite lives made it so much more enjoyable.

There's no shame in making it a bit more fair — There’s no shame in making it a bit more fair

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Equinox was featured on GameFan's issue #2 cover — *Equinox* was featured on GameFan’s issue #2 cover

Although released in March of 1994, Equinox first appeared in gaming magazines as early as late ’92. It’s featured on the cover of GameFan’s second issue. The import version was even reviewed that same issue, but the US version would not be reviewed until some 15 issues later. Equinox fared well with the critics. EGM gave it scores of 7, 7, 8, 8 and 8. GameFan rated it 90% and 96%. Super Play, who was notoriously difficult to please, gave it an impressive 90% rating. GameFan rated this game a second time when it hit American shores in early ’94. By then GameFan had changed its reviewing system. Rather than giving an overall score, they simply tallied up the numbers from five categories (so the highest score was 50). I never liked it, and apparently neither did they or the readers as the magazine soon returned to its classic “out of 100” review format

Super Play ranked it #47 on their Top 100 SNES games list — Super Play put it #47 on the Top 100 SNES games list

It's not for everyone, but damn did I really like it! — It’s not for everyone, but damn did I really like it!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Equinox grabs you with its long labyrinths and big bosses — *Equinox*‘s long labyrinths and big bosses bewitch you

Equinox is a game I had been curious about for over 20 years before I finally played it. I had high hopes for it as a kid back in ’94 but until you finally experience a title for yourself, you just never know if it’s truly any good or not. There’s always this sense of excitement and apprehension. One part of you hopes that it lives up to your imagination after all these years, while another part fears the worst. I’m happy to say Equinox met every bit of my expectations. From huge intimidating bosses to atmospheric lengthy labyrinths, Equinox permeates this lonely feeling of being the last man on earth. It’s just you, your mettle and the voices screaming in your head as you stare down the deadly dungeons and catacombs lost to time in which mankind was never meant to explore. Equinox is intoxicating. It’s an arduous quest sure to frustrate you as much as it will reward.

Equinox has some amazing visuals. Each world takes you on a grand and different adventure. The ancient civilization of Deeso is filled with grotesque statues leering at you, more effective than any “No Trespassing” sign ever seen in a horror movie. Quagmire takes you to a lush plant underworld with death snapping at your heels each step of the way. The airy caverns of Tori conveys this grand sense of being deep below the surface, staving off evil spirits and armored knights. The sound effects are equally as effective. Famous composer Tim Follin (best known for SNES Rock N’ Roll Racing) did some of his finest work here. The ambiance is awesome. Pushing giant marble stones across the floor never sounded more convincing. And I love the sound effect of a token dropping any time you enter a room with a token to be found. It lets you know that room has a token. Each realm is perfectly complimented by Follin’s masterful command of sound and music. The game is tough as hell. While the perspective can be a bitch and cost you many lives you feel you shouldn’t have lost, it’s not a deal breaker by any means. Especially with the code implemented, Equinox is simply mystifying. It’s one of those games where you just have to see the next room and you just have to give it “one more try.” There aren’t enough SNES games like this. It’s not quite a classic but it’s a very strong entry in the long running line of quality SNES titles.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 7

OVERALL: 8.5

This legendary ad won "Ad of the Year" back in 1994 — This legendary ad won *“Ad of the Year”* back in 1994

The idea was you couldn't beat the game in a lifetime — The idea is you couldn’t beat the game in a lifetime

You eventually die failing to beat it. Your grandson takes over and wins. He would have wanted it that way

How fitting, considering the father-son connection

Nothing bonds dad and son like catch a magic carpet ride — *Nothing bonds dad and son like ~~catch~~ magic carpet ride*

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang (SNES)

**Pub: BPS | Dev: RED | June 1994 | 8 MEGS**

The Super Nintendo enjoyed many quality years during its run. I personally believe 1994 was its best year in terms of quality and quantity. The SNES not only hit its stride but it also hit the most home runs that year. Super Metroid, Final Fantasy III, Donkey Kong Country, the list goes on and on. Among those heavy hitters you had a string of solid doubles. These games flew under the radar because they weren’t big names. They’re not as good as the AAA classics but they sure have a place in any robust SNES collection. The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is one such example. Lost in the shuffle at the time, today it finally enjoys the recognition it so richly deserves. But just in case you missed it, here’s a closer look!

THE TWISTED TALES OF LITTLE DRACULA?!

Confession time. I loved monsters growing up but I was never a big fan of Dracula. He was always kinda meh to me. However, one morning in the early ’90s I was channel surfing when I came across a brand new cartoon, Little Dracula. I was instantly hooked. There was something about a kid Dracula that greatly appealed to me. Not too long after my dad bought me a Little Dracula action figure and I carried it around with me almost everywhere I went. Sad I know, but hey, I was a kid! Fast forward to the summer of ’94. When I saw the EGM preview of Spike McFang I instantly thought about my dear old friend, Little Dracula. For a second there I even wondered if Spike McFang was loosely based off Little Dracula. Sadly I never got around to playing Spike McFang until my SNES resurrection in 2006. I was determined to buy all my childhood favorites as well as all the games I always wanted to play but never did. So was it worth the wait? You bet your glowing eyes it was!

He even had his own little comic mini-series!

THE STORY GOES…

Together, they ruled over the land peacefully

STARRING AND CO-STARRING…

ITEMS AND SKILLS

Spike has two ways to attack. For starters, you can chuck his top hat at the bad guys. The hat starts out basic but there are variations you can upgrade to which makes this attack far more potent and efficient.

Another way to kill bad guys: Spike’s deadly cape. But don’t spin too much or else you’ll disorient the little guy!

MAPQUEST

A. Fighter Island
B. Batland
C. Castle Dracuman
D. Ratville
E. Kalala Desert
F. Village of Vampires
G. Ice Palace
H. Jungle of Mazes
I. Castle Von Hesler

LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

"Spike, you've also played too many SNES games!" — *“Spike, you’ve also played too many SNES games!”*

"I know that scent anywhere. Not that I like her..." — *“I know that scent ANYWHERE. Not that I like her…”*

"Damn Spike, she told you!" — *“Damn Spike, she told you!”*

"Can we crank up that ride over there to 88 MPH?" — *“Can we crank up that ride over there to 88 MPH?”*

The fate of the islands lies in your young hands... — The fate of the land lies in your young hands…

Spike lacks a bit of respect for his elders, see... — Spike lacks a bit of respect for his elders, see…

Clarence puts young Spike through a series of tests. Play the following if you’d like some musical accompaniment. Let’s check out the first test…

Aaa-ohh HEY you! Who said that, baby how you been?
You say you don’t knoooow, you won’t know until you begin
Can’t you see me standing here, I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen. Oh can’t you see what I mean?

Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead, jump. JUMP!

[Alright, back to our regularly scheduled programming -Ed.]

Whoa, creepy! All those voices muttering at once... — Whoa, creepy! All those voices muttering at once…

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

Here we see how effective throwing his hat can be. It’s a great long range weapon when you can’t rely on Spike’s spinning cape.

Tell us how you REALLY feel, Spike... — Tell us how you REALLY feel, Spike…

[Why do I have a bad feeling about this... -Ed.] — *[Why do I have a bad feeling about this… -Ed.]*

The bridge gives way but luckily Spike catches a ride

Eventually, Spike and Clarence duke it out. It’s the timeless tale of student vs. teacher, pupil vs. master, mentee vs. mentor. Defeat Clarence to earn his respect and fulfill one rite of passage. Plenty more to come!

Ah that cheeky little Spike. Off to Batland!

BATLAND BECKONS…

Ever heard of the term energy thief? These people talk to you and do nothing but sap your energy by being incredibly self-centered. They just love to talk your ear off. The good news? Professor Steam is quite the opposite! Talking to him restores your health. What a charmer, eh? Meanwhile, Mr. Stonehead will save your game. As the song goes, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Talk to the townsfolk. They have useful info... — Talk to the townsfolk. They might have useful info…

These scenes remind me of Mr. Rogers... the castle bits... — This oddly reminds me of *Mr. Rogers* (the castle bits)

"Von Hesler took the king you say? Why I'm right here!" — *“Von Hesler took the king you say? Why I’m right here!”*

It's wise to stock up on some magic cards — It’s wise to stock up on some magic cards

GLLUUURRKK! For 20 gold he’ll crank out a random card for ya. Never know what you’ll get. Fun, useful and doesn’t cost much at all. The best of all worlds.

Carry different cards and switch them by using the shoulder buttons. Simply press A during battle to activate the selected card. They range in purpose; some are more useful than others. Best saved for boss battles.

Like other action RPGs (although I’d classify this game more as an arcade action adventure), Spike can level up accordingly at different intervals. This increases his health points. It’s as basic as can be. No ring menus here. Just press start, get to hacking and let the good times roll.

Colonel Hydra has invaded the castle of Dracuman and has placed her spunky spitfire of a daughter, Felina, in charge.

Slain enemies occasionally leave pocket change

Or the big guy if you're lucky — Or the big guy if you’re lucky!

Secret of Mana's tree has nothing on this — *Secret of Mana*‘s tree has nothing on this

Ah nevermind. No secrets. Just Spike freaking McFang.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the… moat. I love the chibi look of this game. Spike looks like a Duplo toy figure. It’s all very endearing and captures your fancy in a way that you wish more games would.

"Looking for shark food? Oh, um, about that, Sid..." — *“Looking for shark food? Oh, um, about that, Sid…”*

Sid is Spike’s trusty old moat-dwelling er, brontosaurus type thingy… friend… yeah. Look, let’s just say he’s super helpful!

Ah might as well jump. Go ahead an' jump. JUMP! — Ah might as well JUMP *[… the shark? -Ed.]*

And you thought all those jumping tests by Clarence way back when was just for his cruel amusement. Not so!

Ah can’t ya see me standin’ here
I got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen
Ah can’t ya see what I mean

[Look, I love Van Halen as much as the next guy but… -Ed.]

"LET THIS BE A LESSON, WHIPPERSNAPPER!" — *“LET THIS BE A LESSON, WHIPPERSNAPPER!”*

Funny moment, this. Spike gets a little too cocky for his own good. And this Stone Head, well, he doesn’t take kindly to young ‘uns disrespecting elders. Blockhead sends Spike smashing through a wall!

Next time you feel like opening your mouth and spouting off, kids — THINK TWICE, BE NICE. On the bright side, for your troubles you do get to save your game.

It's the inside that counts... — It’s the inside that counts…

Moments like this are oddly addicting and compelling — Moments like this are oddly compelling

Here we come to another entertaining bit. Spike attempts to spring off with the greatest of ease. Unfortunately for him, he’s a bit of a klutz you see. Poor guy, he goes crashing into the dirty moat water below.

Good news: You killed all the sharks.

Bad news: You can’t swim.

It's Sid boy to the rescue! — It’s Sid boy to the rescue!

Some friends will always have your back. Be good to them!

Where's Jeff Daniels when ya need him?! — Where’s Jeff Daniels when ya need him?!

Kill it to get the key. Watch out for its babies

Damn, you knew the mother spider had to be hiding out somewhere…

Such a sweet feeling hitting enemies diagonally

Fun little "boss" fight this is — Fun little “boss” fight this is

These annoying felines do their best to impede Spike’s quest.

Whoa, what happened to his face... — Whoa, what happened to his face…

Who will win? Only you can decide!

EXTRA EXTRA

Rudy joins Spike. There's a 2 player code... — There’s a 2 player code…

Later in your adventure Rudy joins you. He’s a handy companion helper controlled by the computer. But there’s actually a code that allows Player 2 to control Rudy. At the title screen press Down, B, Left, B, Up, Y, Right, Y. One of the best SNES codes ever!

I like the dialogue you have with the various NPCs

The townsfolk add some solid atmosphere to the game. I just wish there was even more NPC interaction and that the journey was a bit lengthier.

Hmm, I wonder who that stranger could be... — Hmm, I wonder who that stranger could be…

Spike finally telling Camelia like it is. Nice

And now he's giving fashion advice! What a versatile lad... — And now he’s giving fashion advice! What a top chap

Nice save there, Rudy. Quick on his feet, that one

Quick on his tongue too... — Quick with his tongue too…

The gift flower is super helpful. Gifts of all sorts sprout out when you smack it. However, hit it too many times and it disappears. But maybe try going off-screen and coming back…

"GET YO ASS BACK HERE, RUDY!" — *“GET YO ASS BACK HERE, RUDY!”*

Oh yeah, the PlayStation/Saturn 3D platformer! — Ah yes, the PlayStation/Saturn 3D platformer!

Croc was a classic guilty pleasure — *Croc* was a classic guilty pleasure

This reminds me of the old Amiga/SNES game Whizz — This reminds me of the old Amiga/SNES game, *Whizz*

Spike McFang came out first — *Spike McFang* came out first, mind

Something going on between Spike and Camelia?

Nothing fishy going on here, nope... — Nothing fishy going on here, nope…

Didn't catch her name but sure caught her in the act! — Didn’t catch her name but sure caught her in the act!

Spike gazes longingly at the Kingdom ahead of him

Trust me, you will want to save your game... — Trust me, you will want to save your game…

One wrong turn and it's back to square one — One wrong turn and it’s back to square one

"This jungle heat is making me crazed. I wanna confess!" — *“This jungle heat’s making me crazed. I wanna confess!”*

Final battle mere moments away. Good luck!

Pack the right cards and Von Hesler's not too bad... — Pack the right cards and Von Hesler isn’t too bad…

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

"Spike McFang is an unsung hero on the SNES" -RVGFanatic — *“Spike McFang is a nice little SNES gem” -RVGFanatic*

As you can see, the critics enjoyed Spike McFang and his twisted tales. Super Play gave it an 82% score and ranked it #96 on their Top 100 SNES Games List that they ran in issue #42 (February 1996). EGM gave it ratings of 9, 8, 8, 8 and 8. Sadly, this game flew under the radar when it was released back in the summer of ’94. However, glance at any “Sleeper” or “Hidden Gems” Super Nintendo recommendation list today and there’s a good chance The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is on there somewhere. And rightfully so!

Just a shame we never saw a souped up sequel

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Not quite a religious experience but it sure is rock solid — Not quite a **religious** experience but it’s **rock** solid

Summer 1994. It was a great time for me; a time of innocence, a time of childhood and a time of many wonderful games. It took me nearly 15 years but I finally got around to play and beat The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang. Other than it being awfully short, I wasn’t disappointed. It’s got plenty going for it: a very likable protagonist, fun and varied attacks, some memorable key friends, nice graphics and satisfying gameplay (even if it’s rather linear). It’s also got some fun boss battles, a quirky enemy roster and general wackiness that you just don’t see in very many Super Nintendo games. There’s just something about Spike McFang that makes you stop and go, “Now here’s a funky game that marches to the beat of its own drummer.” And you can’t help but love it.

Beatable in three hours. No excuses not to play it!

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is an underrated little gem all Super Nintendo owners should play. It’s a charming adventure that, while extremely short, delivers the goods. The biggest downside is the game takes roughly three measly hours to beat. I would love to have seen a 15-20 hour game instead but the nice thing is you could finish this in one (semi) lengthy sitting on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It’s not something you have to clear your calendar for, and for many of us in today’s busy adult world perhaps this is more of a blessing than a curse. It’s very straight forward and short. Just plug it in, press start and let the good times roll. It’s an adventure I find myself coming back to once in a blue moon. Still, part of me can’t help but wonder what if they added in multiple routes, side quests, more locales to hit up and more plot twists — all packed in a 15 to 20 hour world. Instead of being one of the better hidden gems on the system, it could have been one of the better SNES games, period. But I digress. I’m plenty happy with what we got, don’t get me wrong. It’s short and sweet. And sometimes that’s exactly what you want. It’s not going to rock your world the way The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past or Terranigma did, but you likely won’t regret giving this the time of day.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 6.5

Overall: 8.5
Double Silver Award

Even so, as is, it's wacky, whimsical and a win ^_^ — Even so, as is, it’s wacky, whimsical and a win ^_^

The sequel... The Sappy Stories of Spike McFang! — The sequel… *The Sappy Stories of Spike McFang*!

True Lies (SNES)

***Pub: LJN | Dev: Beam Software | February 1995 | 16 MEGS***

Movie tie-ins were often considered bad back in the ’90s. It always seemed that the developers banked more on the licensing and name value than they did on the actual mechanics of the game. But every once in a while you get a bit of a gem. A diamond in the rough if you will. True Lies is one such example. Not only does it make excellent usage of its intellectual property, but it stands up well on its own even if you were to strip away the name value and likeness of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thirsting for a fun violent overhead shooter? True Lies may be the sleeper hit you’ve been looking for. Let’s dive in…

ADVENTURES IN MOVIE HOPPING

The Mask wasn't the only film we saw on July 30, 1994... — *The Mask* wasn’t the only film we saw on July 30, 1994

My friends and I remained in our seats as the end credits to The Mask rolled. The usual “So, what did you think?” question made its way down the row in the midst of strangers stepping around us to exit the theater. Ben, the oldest in the group, had a devious look on his face when the question found its way to him. Our group didn’t have a leader, per se, but as the oldest, Ben held ringleader status among a few other alpha males (namely Tommy and the guy we affectionately referred to as Sushi-X). Ben was also a kid at heart. He was the first in the group to get his driver’s license and he was always a rebel. I stared at his grinning mug a couple seats over. The twinkle in his eye suggested he was up to no good. “I really liked it. Know what else I’d really like? To watch True Lies right now…”

Time to double down... — Time to double down…

Being a young innocent and naive kid, I thought Ben meant go pay for a second ticket. But as we walked out of the theater I noticed my group heading toward the auditorium with the marquee headlined by True Lies, rather than the ticket entrance. Holy crap, Ben wanted to pull off a grand heist (through 10 year old eyes it felt like a big crime anyhow)! My heart was racing and my palms felt like the bottom of a jet ski skipping across the ocean. As fate would have it, this next showing of True Lies was set to start right after The Mask. Was it a sign? Was it meant to be? I just knew they were my ride home, so I had little say in the matter. Ben, leading the charge, approached the double doors and looked back at us to steal a glance. He gave us a hearty nod with a devil-may-care smile. He swung the doors open and we followed him in like lemmings committing a heinous group crime in the still of the night…

As we shuffled our way through and up to the top, I remember fearing for my life that our cover would be blown. Movie hopping was something I’d seen happen on TV sitcoms growing up. I never knew of anyone in real life who ever actually did it. It was almost like an urban myth to me as a kid. Anyone who dares to try sneaking into a movie for free was going to be caught red-handed, kicked out and banned from movie theaters for life. A mugshot would be plastered all over the country at all local theaters, denying you admittance from all future flicks. A little over dramatic but hey, I was 10! We grabbed our seats as the lights began to dim. I remember glancing out at the sea of humanity below me thinking how many others had sneaked in here free from The Mask? And how many of us were going to get caught? As the first trailer played, I could only imagine the worst…

Ben looked possessed. This clearly wasn't his first rodeo — Ben looked crazed. This clearly wasn’t his first rodeo

“Come on everyone, the coast is clear. Let’s go!”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this! I mean this is crazy!”

“SHUT UP! Keep it down over there. Act like you’ve done this before.”

Ben was only 17 but he was like a seasoned vet... — Ben was only 17 but he was like a seasoned vet…

“I dunno, Ben. I kinda have a bad feeling about this…”

“Ah you wussbag. Grow some balls, will ya. Ain’t no one gonna catch us… not if you just play it cool.”

“I dunno about this either…”

“Will you guys zip it, huh? This is a fool proof plan so just follow my lead.”

That sure didn’t look like NO ONE to me, Ben.

At least, that’s how I envisioned it playing out as I sat there with the trailers blaring at my face in heavenly surround sound.

Luckily, we made it safely to our seats without incident… for now, anyhow…

Any slight movement to and from the door had me squirming in my seat. I struggled to pay any attention to the trailers. My eyes kept darting over the room looking out for any ushers who might come crush us for the sins of our youth.

Ben was nuts, but the big lug never did let me down

After a few minutes went by and we were in the clear, for the moment at least, I stole a glance at Ben. Son of a bitch was kicking back like he was at home in his PJs. But I had to admire the bastard. At just 17 years old he had a carefree and magnetic aura that I couldn’t help but admire. Ben was a kid at heart if I ever saw one.

It wasn’t long before the movie began. No usher ever came to rebuke us. We had a wonderful time watching True Lies. While I don’t advocate or promote movie hopping (because it’s morally wrong), this remains a fond memory of the fun times I had running with my game crew back in the day.

And hey, who didn't have fun watching this? ;) — ***And hey, who didn’t have fun watching this?***

THE STORY GOES…

Aziz spearheads a terrorist group known as Crimson Jihad — Aziz spearheads the terrorist group Crimson Jihad

Arnold plays Harry Tasker, tasked to foil Aziz's plans — Arnold plays Harry Tasker, tasked to foil Aziz’s plans

Arnold almost died on set riding this horse!

One of the film's best scenes! — One of the film’s best scenes!

Out of room but NOT out of resources... — Out of room but NOT out of resources…

"I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT." — ***“I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT”***

True Lies was a good return to form for Arnold — *True Lies* was a good return to form for Arnold

“What da hell were ya thinkin’? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away.”

ARNOLD’S BIG TOYS

You start out with a standard 15-clip hand gun. The bad news? It’s sort of weak and after every 15th shot you must reload, leaving you vulnerable for a precious second. The good news? Unlimited ammo. ProTip: when it’s safe, fire off all your shots once you get down to five or so. The last thing you want is to have to reload during a crucial moment. Therefore, ALWAYS keep it fully stocked.

Now we’re talking! The Uzi is like the hand gun except it spits out bullets like no tomorrow. In addition, you automatically lock yourself in whichever direction you are firing. The Uzi also allows you to turn at unique angles, giving you the possibility of sniping scumbags from a position where, with any other gun, you wouldn’t be able to. It’s definitely handy for clearing a room full of bad guys. Just too bad it eats up a ton of ammo quickly.

The shotgun fires a powerful spread shot that fires five shots. But just like in Doom, if you clip someone rather than blast them straight on, the power is greatly reduced. It’s also slow to load so make sure each shot counts. It’s annoying though that the bullets only travel a certain length before disappearing. Still, it’s a blast to pump terrorists full of lead point blank!

The flamethrower is the most powerful weapon. It instantly eviscerates upon contact. Like the Uzi, firing this locks you in position and you can turn to fry anyone within your vicinity. Also like the Uzi it eats up ammo faster than a sumbitch.

The land mine is the perfect weapon to lure victims in. Unfortunately once you set it down there’s a three second delay for the mine to activate, so it’s no good if you are near your enemy. But if you see him coming from afar, the land mine can be a true game changer.

I love all of the weapons for different reasons, but the grenade just might be my favorite. Let’s see why below…

HOW TO BE A CERTIFIED BADASS

Toss a grenade at the punk on the lower left

Gotta love how Beam Software strategically placed that small table there. It’s ripe for bouncing one over…

ROLLING THUNDER

Somersault to victory — if you press the shoot button right after rolling, Arnold will get up on one knee and start firing. Used correctly, this technique can provide a huge boost.

CINEMATIC SHOTS

Albeit a bit pixelated, these lovely photos had a strikingly realistic look.

LEVEL 1: CRASHING THE DINNER PARTY

"Sorry, please forgive me!" — ***“Sorry, please forgive me!”***

Kill three and it's game over — Kill three? Game over

Use the nifty lock button to hold down your position

Wait for him to reload... — Wait for him to reload…

How you use corners and walls to your advantage can make the difference between victory and death. Strategic positioning is pivotal!

LEVEL 2: MAYHEM AT THE MALL

*[I prefer Kay Bee Terrorists, myself -Ed.]*

"FREEZE!" *guy looks at watch* — “FREEZE!” ***guy looks at watch***

"Damn I almost shot yo ass!" — *“Damn near shot yo ass!”*

[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack's phone -Ed.] — *[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack’s phone -Ed.]*

"STUPID idiots!" -Chris Jericho — Proof that mobile phones will be the death of us

Deals are so good people are DYING to shop here. Sorry — Deals so good people are **DYING** to shop here. Sorry

Looks like he took it a bit too literally... — Looks like he took it a bit too literally…

The restroom scene from the movie is awesome

ProTip: He's the last guy you wanna piss off... — ProTip: He’s the last guy you wanna ***piss*** off…

See a guy take a leak with his shades on? F*CKIN' RUN — See a guy peeing with his shades on? ***F*CKING RUN***

An action scene of Schwarzeneggerian proportions!

Beam even replicated the restroom tiles to a tee. Nice! — Beam even replicated the restroom tiles to a tee!

Arnold doesn't give a shit about your shit — *“My, what did you have for lunch?”*

LEVEL 3: PANDEMONIUM IN THE PARK

"Sorry to crash your meet up group like this..." — *“Sorry to crash your meet up group like this!”*

I love the little details in games. About halfway through the park you run into a group of training martial artists. As you pass you can actually hear their grunts of “HOO!” “HA!” “HEE!” It’s pretty dang awesome. These guys are harmless so don’t shoot them, but the bad guys sure can. It’s too bad a movie starring both Arnold and Bruce Lee was never meant to be.

They never flinch, just like Donnie Yen in Rogue One — They never flinch, just like Donnie Yen in *Rogue One*

"IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT" — *“IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT”*

LEVEL 4: SUBWAY SUICIDE

The bad news? This level is as hard as a brick

The sheer violence is disturbingly satisfying... — The sheer violence is disturbingly satisfying…

"I got your five dollar foot long right here, BISHES!" — ***“I got your five dollar foot long right here, BISHES!”***

Trains whiz by, giving you barely just enough time to reach each alcove.

"Don't worry guys, I got him!" — *“Don’t worry guys — I got him!”*

Notice how his grenade is poorly aimed and how it bounces off the side of the train…

The computer’s wild, random and unpredictable AI makes playing True Lies a blast, pardon the pun. You never know when they accidentally commit genocide on themselves…

I cringe everytime Arnold goes out this way... OUCH — I cringe everytime Arnold goes out this way… OUCH

LEVEL 5: SHOOTIN’ ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY

Hard to explain but it's got a cool "8-bit NES 1990" vibe — Hard to explain but it’s got a cool *1990 8-bit NES* vibe

All ambiance here. No music, only crashing waves. Nice — All ambiance here. No music, only crashing waves…

"You shoot, I shoot, remember?" — *“You shoot, I shoot, remember?”*

GOTDAMN! True Lies is without a shadow of a doubt Arnold-approved.

Or better yet, be a certified G(renade) — Or better yet, toss a grenade…

It's true. Good luck... — It’s true. Good luck…

LEVEL 6: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

Guy on the left took it to heart, apparently

“DIDN’T I JUST KILL YOU!?! AHH!!” Rock-It-Ralph gets the last laugh.

You could jump it, sure, but it's not nearly as fun ;) — ***You could jump it, sure, but it’s not nearly as fun***

Believe it or not, he’s even deadlier than Rock-It-Ralph. Mainly because this bastard actually moves. Better say your prayers…

Explore! Or pay a steep price — Explore! Or you just might pay a steep price

True Lies is one of the hardest SNES games ever — *True Lies* is one of the hardest SNES games ever

Imagine wading through this hellhole. Rockets are screaming past you in tight quarters while gun slinging flunkies set their sights on you. Now imagine having to backtrack through this after discovering you’d forgotten to locate a key. No worst feeling in this game.

Mercifully there’s no respawning. Killed enemies stay dead. In some cases you’ll find yourself not killing but sneaking by best as you can. Keep in mind that enemies not killed will have to be dealt with if you need to backtrack.

LEVEL 7: REFINERY RAMPAGE

Nice to see the DOOM barrels make a cameo — Nice to see the *DOOM* barrels make a cameo

LEVEL 8: SPACE HARRIER

LEVEL 9: ANOTHER SLAY AT THE OFFICE

LEVEL 10: AZIZ MEETS HIS BITTER END

Look familiar? It's plucked right out of the movie — Look familiar? It’s plucked right out of the movie

A young Eliza Dushku hangs precariously in the air

Uh, it's a harrier. "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!" Nevermind — Uhh, it’s a harrier. **“GET TO DA CHOPPA!”** Ah forget it

Arnold had some of the best one liners in history

Sorry Art Malik. I agree with Arnold [You're one to talk -Ed.] — Sorry Art Malik, I have to agree *[You’re one to talk -Ed.]*

I got TWO words for ya... [SUCK IT!!! Sorry, it's Pavlovian... -Ed.] — *“I got TWO words for ya…” [SUCK IT?!? -Ed.]*

TOO MUCH HEAT? YOU CAN ALWAYS CHEAT

Some games are rock hard. Others are near impossible. And then, there’s True Lies. While the first two or three levels start out fairly manageable, it isn’t long before the curve spikes and you find yourself dying over and over again. Now normally I’m not the biggest proponent of using cheat codes, but when a game is maddeningly difficult I’m not against evening up the odds a bit. For example, BGWPNS (big weapons) allows you to start with all weapons (but not infinite ammo). That’s reasonably fair. Another code gives you invincibility which isn’t fair but good for when you just want to blow shit up. Amusingly enough, to enable this God mode you have to input the command BGGRLY. Yes, BIG GIRLY. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers!

The stages are so long they have to be split up!

Level select codes have always been my favorite. It really increases the longevity of games lacking a save feature. Sometimes I want to jump to a certain part of a game, beat just that part and call it a night. It’s handy for those moments when you just wanna play for 15 minutes before bed.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

"I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!" — ***“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!”***

The game earned respectable scores. EGM gave it ratings of 8, 7, 7 and 6.5. GameFan rated it 79, 73 and 70%. Super Play Magazine scored it 74%. They agreed that True Lies is one of the better movie game efforts but two glaring flaws hold it back from being a great title. The music and gun sound effects are a bit weak. The other flaw is its extreme difficulty. As for the film, it was a success for the most part. It was the first movie in history to boast a budget of over 100 million and it raked in 378 million worldwide. Critics and fans alike enjoyed its mix of action and comedy, with bits of romance sprinkled in for good measure. Jamie Lee Curtis won the Golden Globe Award for best actress. Damn, who could forget that infamous strip scene? Steamy stuff! True Lies also marked a strong comeback for Arnold who starred in the flop Last Action Hero the summer prior. It’s interesting to note that this was James Cameron’s baby in-between T2: Judgment Day and Titantic. Ah, the days when Cameron ruled the cinematic world, eh?

Still waiting on the sequel: FALSE TRUTHS — Still waiting on the sequel: *FALSE TRUTHS*

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" "HASTA LA VISTA BABY" — ***“SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”***

Movie game adaptations in the ’90s were often times more miss than hit. True Lies, for the most part, is a hit. The action comes at you fast and furious, yet during the calm before the storm you have to be methodical and strategic. It’s a combo that works well, rewarding flexible players who excel in scrums and who show an affinity for meticulous planning and precision. Many of the game’s stages are scenes plucked straight out of the movie, and the ones that are re-imagined add a rather nice bit of environmental diversity. All of the classic locales are present such as public parks, decrepit catacombs and even a dour refinery. But it also has some unique settings you just don’t see often, such as the local mall and a stage that takes place on the loading dock. This results in giving the game a nice breadth and makes each new level something to look forward to. Visuals are solid and the blood, though cartoony, add an extra sense of brutality. The music loops unfortunately and is certainly not a shining point of the game. The guns don’t sound all that realistic, either. Small gripes though, really.

What really makes True Lies stand out is its sheer, unadulterated violence. It’s loud. It’s brash. It’s grisly. Grenades send victims sprawling 10 feet in the air as blood spills and bodies singe. It’s a great game to pop in after a tough day at work, as few things satisfy like wasting bastards point blank via shotgun, followed by roasting someone alive. On the downside, it’s way too difficult. The levels are long and can take 15-25 minutes to complete, which has its pros and cons. The later levels are maze-like which contribute to the time it takes to beat them. Some levels have you fetching items which impedes the shooting mayhem. Enemies always seem to know where you are, even if they can’t see you. The lock button helps but a quick 180° turn option would have helped even more.

"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!" — ***“HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!”***

Angling your shots and positioning yourself properly is absolutely key. But even if you do all that, it will STILL eat you up and spit you out. Thank goodness then for codes that give you more of a fighting chance. Despite its flaws, there aren’t too many titles comparable to True Lies on the Super Nintendo. It’s worthy of the Arnold name, providing wanton destruction the likes of which few others can match. It’s one of my pet favorites and although the game has received its fair share of “under the radar” props, I still love singing its praises whenever I can. It’s one of the best movie tie-in games on the SNES!

Graphics: 8
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.0
Silver Award

Mowing down terrorists in a public restroom? Priceless — Blasting terrorists in a public restroom? Priceless

"Next time you should really listen to me. I said I needed to pee" — *“Next time you should listen to me. I said I need to pee!”*

Top 50 Obscure Super Famicom Games

My favorite games that never came out in America!

The SNES has a ton of amazing games. But when you turn your eye to the Japanese side of things, that’s when you truly realize how deep and phenomenal the library is. On September 8, 2006, I began an “Obscure Super Famicom Impressions” topic where I posted my two cents on a slew of obscure Super Famicom exclusives. The topic was well received and stirred much retro gaming discourse. 10 years later I revived my topic to post a personal top 50 list. I’m now converting that list over

QUICK NOTES

This isn’t a top 50 *BEST* list. Rather, it’s a top 50 favorite list

There will be no (action) RPGs on this list. As best as I could, I kept this list restricted to games that any non-Japanese reader can enjoy

To qualify for this list, the game can’t have an official American release

All these games have links for their own review if you wish to read more

Let the top 50 countdown begin!

#50: MICKEY TOKYO DISNEYLAND

Everyone knows about the Capcom Mickey games on the Super Nintendo. But did you know there was a non-Capcom Mickey game released only on the Super Famicom? Developed by GRC (who also made Trouble Shooter for the Genesis), Mickey Tokyo Disneyland is worth a look.

Navigate through various sections of the famous Disneyland theme park. Red balloons send Mickey zipping around. Blue balloons can be flicked at enemies or dropped on unsuspecting suckers. It can also be set down as a paperweight or as a jumping boost. The color scheme, the classic Mickey look — it all works. The control is a bit rigid, though. Still, a nice game to play on a lazy rainy day.

#49: SUPER BACK TO THE FUTURE II

Boasting a rich colorful look, Marty McFly uses his trusty hoverboard to thwart the likes of Biff, Griff, rogue cops and other assorted baddies. The classic Back to the Future overture is perfectly replicated. Chill inducing worthy.

The game does have its share of flaws, though. The control takes some getting used to and there’s a bit of slowdown here and there. But there’s just something about this game that I enjoy, warts and all.

#48: VIOLINIST OF HAMELIN

Violinist of Hamelin (AKA Hamelin no Violin Hiki) is a puzzle action platformer where you play as Hamel and guide a girl named Flute safely through each level. Picking up Flute and tossing her through pillars of stone is not only encouraged, it’s necessary! Flute can transform into 16 different forms (after the appropriate icon has been collected). Each has its own special purpose and using the right one at the right time is key to success.

Poor Flute gets quite abused!
Her expressions are priceless!

#47: NANGOKU SHOUNEN PAPUWA-KUN

Daft only developed three SNES games — two of which are entries #48 and #49 above. This next game completes Daft’s SNES trilogy. Based off the manga, Nangoku is a platformer that uses a level up system like you would find in an action RPG. There are eight kooky worlds to navigate with all manner of bizarre enemies to kill. There’s even a character that looks an awful lot like Link, hmm.

There’s a slight bit of dialogue in this game (as is the case with Violinist of Hamelin) but it won’t hinder a non-Japanese reading gamer from progressing. However, there’s a fan translation floating out there if you want to get the full experience.

#46: SUPER GENJIN 2

Everything Super Bonk should have been! The sprites are smaller so maneuvering Bonk around is much improved in comparison to his first SNES outing. He can also slide now. Some “new” transformations abound that were not present in Super Bonk such as the thief, who can throw the smiley faces as projectiles. Visuals are colorful and pleasing to the eye.

Super Genjin 2 does Bonk proud.

#45: POWER SOUKOBAN

Published by Nintendo on New Year’s Day 1999, Power Soukoban added an action-oriented modern twist to the classic old Soukoban formula. Not only are there puzzles to solve but you now have to fend off enemies. Your fireballs take out enemies as well as move stones.

There are even bosses! Frankenstein and Medusa to name but two. Power Soukoban is a fun action puzzle game that brings an interesting new twist to a proven formula.

#44: GHOST SWEEPER MIKAMI

Based off the anime/manga by Takashi Shiina, Ghost Sweeper Mikami reminds me of the countless action platformers we saw on the 8-bit NES back in the day. If you’re into that sort of thing, then definitely give it a look. Packed with atmosphere, it’s slightly goofy yet somewhat spooky. Perfect to play on a cold, stormy night with all the lights turned off.

Evil spirits, zombies and all assorted manner of monsters have popped up all over town. Armed with her trusty magical baton and athletic agility, it’s up to Mikami to sweep the streets and clear out the demons and demented. Just a good old fashioned fun solid action game akin to the kind we saw in the late ’80s to early ’90s.

#43: GANBARE DAIKU NO GENSAN

You might remember Hammerin’ Harry from the arcade scene of the early ’90s. Running around in pseudo-Super Deformed form crushing everything in sight with a big ol’ mallet? Sign me up!

It’s also Japanese bonkers. From fighting a man dressed in a cat suit to knocking the hell out of octogenarians, Ganbare Daiku no Gensan promises a wacky experience that is certainly enjoyable while it lasts.

#42: SUPER TEKKYU FIGHT!

At a cursory glance, Super Tekkyu Fight! appears to be a Bomberman clone. But it’s actually quite different. For starters, players can take up to eight hits. Instead of bombing the competition, you attack them with a spiky chained ball.

It’s no Super Bomberman but Super Tekkyu Fight! is certainly a solid alternative when you’re in the mood for something in the Bomberman vein but with a twist.

#41: THE FIREMEN

Developed by HUMAN, best known for their Fire Pro Wrestling franchise, The Firemen is like Die Hard if you replace the terrorists with fire and the firearms with a water hose. It’s winter 2010 in New York and a high rise is burning. It’s up to you to rescue the victims and clean up the mess. Shoot in eight directions as well as strafe and lock.

THIS GAME IS ON FIRE! Sorry…

#40: GO GO ACKMAN

Based off the manga by Akira Toriyama, Go Go Ackman is a traditional action platformer starring a very non-traditional anti-hero. And therein lies the charm. Fend off enemies by way of swordplay, boomerang and even some gun slinging. The game is short and not very challenging, but damn is it fun.

Besides, it’s pretty hilarious shooting cute little angels right between the eyes. God bless Japan, you crazy bastards you.

#39: BATTLE CROSS

Battle Cross is a six player single screen racer. At first glance it appears to be a mix of Mario Kart and Bomberman. It doesn’t have the smooth and excellent gameplay of either but it’s a riot to play with four friends.

Weapons are strewn about the courses. Nothing satisfies like tossing a missile at someone or dropping a mine underneath an overpass that conceals the explosive. Fun for a retro gaming party night.

#38: LITTLE MAGIC

Single screen action puzzle games have always been a pet favorite of mine. They’re so simple yet complex. In Little Magic you control a young witch-in-training named May. The goal is to transport the fire stone to the pedestal of each level as well as guide May to the exit gate.

Things start out basic but progressively increases in complexity and difficulty. Later levels introduce warp points, spikes, gaping holes and even enemies. With 100 levels in all, you won’t beat this overnight. If you enjoy staring contemplatively at the screen until inspiration breaks through with the resolute “AH-HA!” then Little Magic is right up your alley.

#37: RENDERING RANGER: R2

Full of explosive mayhem that would make even Arnold proud, Rendering Ranger: R2 is an action-packed game that switches between Turrican-esque run ‘n gun stages and a horizontal space shooter. There are several different guns and each one can be powered up.

You also get three bombs to use. The bombs regenerate slowly through an energy bar at the bottom, meaning you can use one early on and gain it back by mid level or so. Speaking of the bombs, they’re not generic as they were in Contra III. Each gun actually has its own unique bomb. Good stuff.

#36: POKO NYAN!

Poko Nyan! is a platformer based off the 170 episode anime show that ran from 1993-1996. This game is clearly geared toward kids with its super colorful visuals and extremely easy gameplay. It’s got a charming protagonist that can transform into various other critters at any time. This includes a kangaroo that can jump super high, a bird with unlimited flight and a hedgehog that can do a spin attack (hmmm). It’s a perfect game for kids or anyone who is still, deep down, a kid at heart.

The set pieces are gorgeously drawn and usually have many tiers. You can kill enemies by simply dropping off a ledge and bouncing off their heads. This is deceptively satisfying. There’s something innately charming, whimsical and innocent about Poko Nyan! that takes me right back to my early childhood years.

#35: SUPER BOMBERMAN PANIC BOMBER WORLD

More than just a cheap cash cow attempt, Super Bomberman Panic Bomber World is an admirable foray into the puzzle genre. Connect three or more like color pieces horizontally, vertically or diagonally. In addition, you get unlit and lit bombs because Bomberman. Once you fill up your power bar you get a mega bomb that will cause all kinds of havoc. The chain combos you can pull off are pretty insane!

And of course, being a Bomberman title, there’s even a 4 player mode. The classic Bomberman battle tune is even replicated nicely here and fits the urgency of the falling piece action to a tee.

#34: KEEPER

Keeper is a puzzle action game jam packed with charm and a healthy dose of brain-bending conundrums. Players control an adorable Gizmo-like creature. Your goal is to clear the 5×5 grid of all the stones. Match three or more stones by same color or same shape. There are four modes of play including a fun co-op and 2 player versus mode.

Keeper is a keeper. Sorry, I had to.

#33: ARAIGUMA RASCAL

This game is based off Rascal the Raccoon, which was a Japanese anime series based on the 1963 Sterling North autobiographical novel entitled “Rascal, A Memoir of a Better Era.” What other SNES game can claim it was based off a 1963 classic American memoir?

Araiguma Rascal puts a unique spin on your typical falling piece puzzler. As Rascal you grab one jar at a time and maneuver your way through the field. There are three different 2 player modes to boot. The graphics really invoke the spirit of Wisconsin (the setting of the memoir). There’s a vintage feel to the visuals. It all adds up to one extremely adorable and appealing package.

#32: BS SHOCKMAN

Unlike the other games on this list so far, BS Shockman, or BS Kaizou Choujin Shubibinman Zero, was never officially released on cartridge. Slated for a Super Famicom release back in 1994, it was instead relegated to the Satellaview device (a downloading service in Japan in the ’90s). Players can combine to unleash super special tag team attacks in the 2 player mode. Raita and Azuki also have their own special moves.

Featuring only eight stages, the game is short at 45 minutes or so. It’s also quite easy. Other than those blemishes, it’s a very fun game that feels like a mix between a traditional platformer and a beat ‘em up.

#31: MAJYUUOU

The SNES isn’t known for having very many dark and mature titles in its library. However, Majyuuou (AKA King of Demons) definitely qualifies as such. At first glance it appears to be a cross between Castlevania and Resident Evil. While it doesn’t live up to such an enticing combination, it is a rather fun and sordid romp through hell. The imagery is unlike anything else you’ll find on the SNES.

You start out in human form armed with a gun and a giant Hadoken-like blast. At the end of each level an orb allows you to transform into a savage beast. There are four forms in all. Abel’s sprite is a little small but the game features a good amount of details to compensate. It does an excellent job of sucking you into its decaying and decrepit underworld. A fascinating foray through the depths of hell.

#30: DEAE TONOSAMA APPARE ICHIBAN

Weirdest Super Famicom game ever? Think Pocky & Rocky on acid. A strange alien force looks to cast its iron fist over the entire universe and two brave but bumbling souls set out to save the day. Their names are Baka-dono and Baka-ouji, which translate to Lord Stupid and Prince Stupid. You can’t make this stuff up. This globe trotting adventure features 10 stages in all. Battle rotting zombies in a cursed Japanese village one minute and the next contend with crazy curry plate chucking madmen in India.

EVERYTHING EXPLODES. Elephants? They explode. Stray chickens? They explode. Japanese shoji screens? Yep, even inanimate objects explode. It’s way over the top and all done with its tongue firmly planted in its cheek with a wink to boot. You can also morph into your deceased steroid-injected father. ‘Nuff said, really!

#29: GHOST CHASER DENSEI

This is the best Super Famicom beat ‘em up to never leave Japan. Sure it’s got many of the beat ‘em up tropes. Three characters to pick from. One well-balanced, one strong and one weak but quick. Charging fat bald guys. But a few neat things help it stand out. This includes blocking, special tag team moves and a meter for your special moves that’s separate from your health meter.

Ghost Chaser Densei is a top notch beat ‘em up that takes one back to the halcyon days when beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade scene.

#28: MICKEY & DONALD: MAGICAL ADVENTURE 3

The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse brings back a lot of fond memories for many of us. Capcom’s sequel The Great Circus Mystery was solid but somehow missed that magical “it” factor that the original had in spades. In December 1995 Capcom released the final game in the trilogy and returned to form.

It was Minnie Mouse out and Donald Duck in. The classic costume system returns but this time the suit powers differ for Mickey and Donald, making it worthwhile to sample both characters. Of course, that classic refined Mickey gameplay you’ve come to love returns (including the lovely snatch-a-block-out-of-thin-air-and-heave-it-at-the-bad-guys formula). Some of the animations, particularly from Donald, are simply priceless.

#27: MAGICAL POP’N

If Zelda were ever made into a platformer, it would probably look something like this. You attack enemies with a short ranged sword but can gain powers as you go along. Stars are scattered throughout the game’s six stages. Collect as many as you can to increase your sub weapon’s ammunition, similar to Castlevania.

Unfortunately there is no password or save system. But thankfully there is a handy cheat code that unlocks a debug menu. Pause the game and press Up, Down, X, Y, Left, Right, A, B, Up, Up. This allows you to tweak with things such as lives, hearts, a God mode and even a level select option. Magical Pop’n is a damn fine game.

#26: POP’N TWINBEE: RAINBOW BELL ADVENTURES

Its main strength is versatility. Pick from three different characters. The game is ridiculously versatile as evident by the SEVEN different ways to kill a bad guy. This not only separates it from the me-too crowd of SNES platformers, but it also minimizes repetitiveness while playing it.

Two 2 player modes are also at play — a co-op and battle mode. Rainbow Bell Adventures is easily one of Konami’s more underrated 16-bit gems.

#25: POP’N SMASH

Heisei Inu Monogatari Bow: Pop’n Smash, to give it its full proper name, is a game you rarely ever hear about. And that’s a shame. Imagine a mix between Pong and Breakout, then add in typical Japanese wackiness and shenanigans. Pop’n Smash is centered around canine Bow. “Bow Wow” was a Japanese manga created by Terry Yamamoto. It enjoyed a lengthy run from 1992 to 1999. There was also a 40 episode anime series that ran from 1993-1994.

The objective is to bat the ball into your opponent’s goal zone. Along the way there are obstacles such as breakable blocks, pots and even bombs to add a little extra spice. Choose from several different characters and stages. Players can make dramatic diving saves as well as cross over into the opponent’s playing area. Select different tools to hit the ball that range from a tennis racket to a mallet to even a branch. It’s one of those games that anyone can pick up and enjoy. Pop’n Smash is a smashing good time!

#24: SANRIO WORLD SMASH BALL!

Sanrio Smash is similar to the previous game, Pop’n Smash, but it plays slightly better. Choose from four Sanrio characters and 20 different stages. It’s cutthroat and competitive as can be. There are power-ups to sway the tide of battle one way or the other. There’s also a super shot that players can unleash once they’ve charged their meter.

Sanrio World Smash Ball! is a smash. Sorry. It’s a ball. Damnit. Look, it’s pretty dang good, OK? So get it if you can, or something.

#23: SPARK WORLD

Spark World is a fun Bomberman clone. Each player is able to sustain two hits — this makes for lengthier battles and gets rid of the embarrassing “Oops I accidentally killed myself 10 seconds in!” moment.

Some slight twists abound. The boxing glove power-up icon allows you to punch your OPPONENT rather than the fuel barrel (bomb). When a round concludes, a stats screen shows you who killed whom. This can lead to some temporary 3-on-1 allegiances when one player killed everyone else the previous round. Good times.

#22: SUPER BOMBERMAN 5

Did you know there was a Super Bomberman 3, 4 and 5 for the SNES? They came out only in Japan (part 3 also came out in Europe). These sequels are perhaps most notable for adding a fifth bomber to the mix but they also feature a whole new slew of bombs and gimmicks.

The mad bomber option in part 5 takes on brand new stakes. If you kill someone as a mad bomber you get to switch places. It brings a whole new intensity to mad bombing! There’s also a hidden bomber to unlock, the Golden Bomber.

#21: SUPER PUYO PUYO TSUU REMIX

Other than Tetris, I consider Puyo Puyo the most classic, pure puzzle game. It’s where skills reign supreme and luck doesn’t play as big a role as it does in most other puzzle games. You know the formula: connect four or more like color pieces. Send garbage blocks over. Yup, there’s a reason why there’s a new Puyo Puyo Tetris mashup coming out soon for the Nintendo Switch!

4 player mode rocks.
Eat your heart out, Kirby’s Avalanche.

#20: SD F-1 GRAND PRIX

Best described as Super Mario Kart meets a cast of Chuck E. Cheese’s rejects. If you were sad back in the mid ’90s that there was never a Super Mario Kart 2 on the SNES, then well, SD F-1 Grand Prix certainly won’t fill that void but it stands as a solid alternative and an adequate companion piece to Super Mario Kart. Choose from 10 different cutesy animal drivers to compete all around the world in a variety of interesting and cool looking race tracks.

You have your standard 10 player Grand Prix mode but the Crash Mode features power-ups such as projectiles. And as expected, there’s a 2 player mode where you can select one of four battle courses to duke it out. As far as Mario Kart alternatives on the SNES go, this is the cream of the crop.

#19: ULTRA BASEBALL JITSUMEIBAN 2

Culture Brain’s Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 developed a semi-cult following among SNES players in the early ’90s. Did you know Culture Brain went on to release four Super Famicom exclusive sequels? My favorite of which is the second one, which features cute chibi ball players.

The crazy power-ups that made the first game so unique and fun are back. The charming visuals are reminiscent of EarthBound, perfectly matching the game’s wackiness and absurdity. So if throwing lightning-infused fastballs is your thing, grab a mitt and PLAY BALL!

#18: DOSSUN! GANSEKI BATTLE

Dossun! Ganseki Battle is a Columns-esque puzzler that feels like a precursor to Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Pieces disappear when three or more like pieces touch. Connections are formed either vertically, horizontally or diagonally. Characters attack each other when chain combos are dealt. Their sprites enlarge as they attack — it really gets you into the fighting spirit!

There are two ways to win a match. The player’s screen fills up or their health meter is fully depleted. To make things even more interesting, the five different types of pieces each serve a different purpose when matched. Competitive and cutthroat, Dossun! Ganseki Battle is Columns meets Puzzle Fighter with a medieval theme. A winning formula for sure!

#17: ROCKMAN & FORTE

Capcom released this on April 24, 1998, for those who couldn’t afford a 32-bit system. Pick between the Blue Bomber and relative newcomer, Forte (AKA Bass), who made his debut in 1995’s Mega Man 7. Forte can double jump, dash and shoot in all directions (except straight down). Other improvements include stunning visuals (it almost looks like an early 32-bit title) and a proper save system is now in play. About friggin’ time, Capcom!

Notoriously considered one of the toughest Mega Man games around, there are sadly no E Tanks here. However, you collect bolts throughout and can purchase upgrades and power-ups at Auto’s shop. In addition to bolts, you’ll also find CD’s strewn about the stages. Collect up to 100 to view character bios. Rockman & Forte has divided the fanbase but for my money it stands as a fine Super Nintendo swan song for Capcom.

#16: PUZZLE’N DESU!

Move a cute little blob thing around the screen and clear the field of all its blocks. Blocks disappear when three or more of the same color touch. You can only push. Pushed blocks travel until coming into contact with another block or obstacle. Things start out simple but later puzzles get downright brutal. The timer adds a sense of urgency. It’s quite the rush completing a puzzle just in the nick of time!

The main story mode also allows three friends to join you. But the best thing is the 4 player battle mode. There are 10 battle arenas to pick from and most of them are littered with various gimmicks that would make any Bomberman title proud. Pushing a block across the screen to crush a loved one never felt so damn good. Puzzle’N Desu! is one of the best party games you’ve probably yet to play. Charming and addicting as hell!

#15: BS ZELDA

The NES classic Legend of Zelda gets a remake of sorts on the SNES. It was available on March 30, 1997 in Japan via the Satellaview only. Of course, since then there’s been hacks and fan translations. SNES players can now experience BS Zelda in all its glory. An awesome take on the NES classic but with spiffy 16-bit souped up visuals. You can even now switch items and weapons by using the shoulder buttons!

#14: UMIHARA KAWASE

The closest thing to Bionic Commando on the SNES? Umihara Kawase. You control a school girl who wears a pink backpack. For reasons unknown you find yourself in a strange world full of towering platforms, ledges and mutant marine life. Somewhere in each level lies the exit and it’s your job to safely reach it. You do this by performing various tricks with your elastic rope. Delightfully weird in that ever lovable Japanese sort of way, Umihara Kawase is a total blast to play. Much of the fun comes in figuring out how best to utilize the rope in any given situation. Using momentum and understanding the rope’s physics all come into masterful play.

At first glance it appears to be a budget title, but don’t let its basic looks fool you. What lies underneath is a complex game that hooks and reels you in (sorry). It’s always fun to see what the next twisted level will look like, as well as what new sea creatures may be milling about. Figuring out how to reach the exit is addicting. The music and sound effects fit the game to a tee; it does a good job transporting you to this bizarre alternate universe. A dimension where sea creatures are mutated, veggies are overgrown and magic stand alone doors are tucked away at the oddest heights and places. The game world is so strangely captivating — it’s like you’re deep in some twisted recurring nightmare. A nightmare, mind, that plays like an absolute dream.

#13: CLOCK TOWER

Clock Tower was a cult favorite among PlayStation owners in the late ’90s. But did you know Clock Tower and Scissorman originated on the Super Famicom? A point and click horror adventure, players are flung into a creepy mansion on the outskirts of town. Something is clearly not right as your party drops one by one. You feel a haunting presence stalking your every move. The hair on the back of your neck stands up as you hear the snip-snip-SNIP of the one and only…

Like a good slow burn, Clock Tower works on building up the tension with little teases here and there. It’s not a loud in your face affair, so it may be a little too slow paced for some. But for the patient player who appreciates a good story being built brick by brick, Clock Tower delivers the scary goods. You never know for sure where Scissorman may pop up, but when he does, it’s ON. The heartbeat races a little faster and palms start to sweat as you run madly to find a hiding spot somewhere in the creepy mansion. It’s the perfect game to play on a stormy night!

#12: SUPER SOUKOBAN

The classic gameplay of Super Soukoban is as simple (yet complex) and pure as it gets. You’re in a cluttered warehouse and it’s your job to move boxes into their designated position. There is no timer; however, there is a step limit. By pressing the shoulder buttons you can rewind or fast forward previous steps. So if you mess up you don’t have to restart the level completely. Knowing that you can always backtrack and erase any error is such a boon. The early levels start out very basic but soon give way to some mind tingling terrors. Seeing levels transition from large sprites to very small sprites can be intimidating!

Later on there are even boxes already darkened, which indicates the box is already resting on a purple dot. You can still move these darkened boxes in many cases, but you have to figure out if you’re meant to or not. There are 300 levels in all and rumor has it launch day buyers are still stuck on level 289 to this very day. To boot, there’s a level edit option and a 2 player mode with 10 different characters to select from.

#11: SUTTE HAKKUN

Taking control of a strange transparent bird, the goal is to collect the rainbow orb(s) on each level. To do so, one must “suck and blow.” Yes, you’ll suck and blow. A lot. [Insert token dirty joke here]. The colors all serve a specific purpose — click on the review if you want the rundown.

Developed and released by Nintendo on June 25, 1999, Sutte Hakkun is the LAST great SNES game ever. Don’t miss out on it. Being from Nintendo you know it’s good.

#10: SUPER FIRE PRO WRESTLING X PREMIUM

Human’s great Fire Pro series began its life on the PC-Engine in 1989. Their final Super Famicom Fire Pro game, Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium, is considered by many as the greatest 16-bit wrestling game of all time. It was revolutionary for its time thanks to its Create A Wrestler mode. You could create and save up to 80 wrestlers. The amount of moves and body types available were equally mind blowing.

The grapple system was based on timing rather than button mashing, so players had to work their way up the move chain. Light, medium and strong attack buttons allow for a natural progression. Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium has long since been surpassed by superior sequels. Still, 20 years later it stands the test of time. Besides, it’s pretty cool rocking out on your Super Nintendo as Bobo Brazil.

#9: GODZILLA: KAIJUU DAIKESSEN

Whether he was terrorizing trains and ravaging cities, or pummeling rubber suited monsters and saving the planet, Godzilla has a special spot in the hearts of many. Having endured 60+ years and 30+ films and counting, the Big Guy is simply timeless. So growing up you can imagine the clamor for a good Godzilla video game. NES Godzilla wasn’t particularly good. Let’s not even talk about Godzilla 2. Super Godzilla? One of the all time great disappointments. Thankfully, Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen brings justice and a good Godzilla game to the universe.

No, you won’t find smooth crazy combos here but considering the source material (these are giant monsters after all) it’s hard to hold that against the game. Monster roars sound authentic, the sprite work is impeccable, the stages are plucked right out of the movies and the monsters are very accurate in terms of their powers. Of course some things were added or re-imagined. Godzilla never shot his atomic breath in mid-air in the films, but it certainly makes for good times in this game. The fighting engine is nothing remarkable but it gets the job done. Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen is a treat for any true G-Fan.

#8: OTOBOKE NINJA COLOSSEUM

It plays enough like Bomberman to provide a comforting familiarity, yet has enough quirks to differentiate it. Dropped spiked capsules explode after two seconds, sending shurikens flying north, south, east and west. Unlike the explosions in Bomberman, the shurikens won’t kill you. Instead you become stunned for two seconds if you’re hit, leaving you wide open for an opponent’s chain ball to kill you. The chain stretches the full length so it’s possible to sit back waiting for the opportune moment to strike! Send your chain twisting some 20 feet away to pick someone off. Not only is it super satisfying but it adds a devious, vulture-like aspect that doesn’t quite exist as much in Bomberman.

Needless to say, such shenanigans lead to many “Ooh I’ll get you next round!” battle cries and pandemonium. Nothing beats the rush of recovering JUST in time right before the chain ball hits you! The eight various colosseums each have a gimmick. Otoboke Ninja Colosseum is awesome, especially if you can round up three friends to play with. And you have to appreciate any game that features mini Super Famicom icons!

#7: DOREMI FANTASY

Featuring insanely amazing visuals, haunting sound and ultra smooth gameplay, DoReMi Fantasy is one of the finest SNES platformers you could ever play. Milon from Milon’s Secret Castle (NES) is back and better than ever. There are eight themed worlds ranging from the gorgeous Northern Lights to a madcap toy infested universe. The levels are packed to the gills with exquisite detail, quirky enemies, excellent backdrops and some stellar set pieces. The game occasionally foregoes music for ambient sound effects instead. This leads to an atmosphere that is both surreal and bewitching.

Milon’s silly antics and whimsical adventure is sure to sweep you away to a land of awe and wonder. DoReMi Fantasy is one of the best SNES platformers not named Mario.

#6: ZEN NIPPON PRO WRESTLING 2:3-4 BUDOKAN

The Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling series was Natsume’s response to Human’s Fire Pro franchise. It features bigger, brighter visuals and a quasi-chibi presentation. The ring is viewed dead on as opposed to Fire Pro’s ¾ perspective. This makes for a perfect running system which allows you to lay back and pick your spots with running strikes, leading to some riotous Fatal Fourway matches! Budokan has a subtle barbaric sense of black humor. Look no further than being able to bounce opponents viciously off the cable ropes (OUCH) or attacking your rival even after the conclusion of a match. Hell it even features the infamous Flair flop!

Similar to the Fire Pro games, winning a grapple is based on timing rather than button mashing. The 19 wrestlers are actual wrestlers from All Japan Pro Wrestling. You got your high flyers, technicians and bruisers. Giant Baba, Kobashi, Misawa, Stan Hansen and so on. Fun stuff!

#5: TSUYOSHI SHIKKARI SHINASAI TAISEN PUZZLE-DAMA

Konami developed many great games for the SNES back in the ’90s, but perhaps its best kept secret was Tsuyoshi Shikkari Shinasai Taisen Puzzle-dama. It plays like an early beta version of Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Select from 10 characters, each with their own block patterns. The combos can get rather insane. It’s not uncommon to pull off 6-7 hit combos even “on accident.”

Maybe it’s not for everyone, especially those used to the pure skill of a Puyo Puyo, but seeing the screen explode in a relentless 10 hit chain reaction combo never gets old. Arguably Konami’s best SNES game that nobody ever talks about.

#4: TETRIS BATTLE GAIDEN

Released on Christmas Eve of 1993, Tetris Battle Gaiden is the best Super Famicom puzzle game never to hit North American shores. It’s Tetris with a quirky twist. Choose from eight characters. Each has four different skills and abilities. These skills are activated when you acquire points and decide to cash in. To acquire said points, you must clear a line containing a crystal. Each cleared crystal grants you one point, and up to four can be stored. The skills and powers range from defensive measures to offensive attacks.

Another interesting feature: players share pieces from one queue rather than two. That means you can “steal” a piece your opponent may desperately need if you move fast (or in some cases slow) enough. This makes paying attention several moves in advance all the more critical. Few things are as satisfying as “blockblocking” your opponent. To snatch that long tetris piece right before they can is a true thing of beauty. Well, maybe that’s second only to sabotaging the competition with one of your special attacks!

Not content to stop there, two other modes are available: classic Tetris (for the purists out there who prefer their Tetris sans gimmick) and Rensa. Rensa is where gravity is taken into account and pieces fall if suspended in mid-air (except crystal pieces). This can produce some nice chain reactions. These three modes make it feel like three games in one. An amazing game bursting with insane replay value!

#3: DREAM BASKETBALL: DUNK & HOOP

In October of 1994 EGM ran a preview on a Super Famicom street ball title by the name of Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. The funky title immediately caught my eye as did the game pictures (blurry as they were… God were things different back in 1994). I remember thinking I couldn’t wait to play it as soon as it comes out over here. But of course it never did. Years later, 2006 to be precise, I was on the hunt for all my old favorite games, as well as the ones I never got to play but always wanted to. One evening my mind recalled Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop. The rest is history.

Always been a sucker for stats and ratings, and the power bars in this game remind me a ton of the ones from Marvel’s 1991 trading card series. Good memories of a bygone era. It’s a small thing but it just takes me to a happy place!

Sure it’s got your standard 5 on 5 mode, but what really drew me to the EGM preview was the blurry screenshot of a 3 on 3 street ball mode. I was always fascinated by the idea of a 3 on 3 street basketball game. This game didn’t disappoint. While it’s got its fair share of flaws, it’s simply a lot of fun. I’ve never played a basketball game where making a shot was so predicated on timing. Being that it’s from Human, go figure, right?

The 3 on 3 mode is where it’s at. In this mode you can play on two different courts, but Human even threw in some little tricks. On one court if you enter SUNSET or YONAKA (Japanese for midnight) then you can unlock exactly that. There’s a simple yet elegant gorgeousness to these settings that speak to my soul in ways I cannot explain. Maybe it’s because it brings back memories of playing ball with my buddies late at midnight, or even getting up early in the morning playing ball right as the sun breaks over the horizon. Those old school memories wrapped up in this old soul… it touches a sweet spot and takes me back to the days when my friends and I were balling without a single care in the world.

But Human didn’t stop there. At the versus screen if you press on the D-pad it will change the color of the courts. Also, you can pick from four different basketball colors. It’s just cosmetics but these little touches add up. Yeah, call me crazy but we all have that one game that clicks deep in our soul for one reason or another that won’t click with the masses. It’s our special game. Our spirit animal in video game form, if you will.

It’s been 10 years since I bought Dream Basketball: Dunk & Hoop and I still find myself playing it frequently. Did so again recently in honor of Craig Sager’s passing. This game just never gets old for me. And that’s why this completely unexpected “bracket buster” (har har) ranks #3 in my personal book.

#2: SUPER FAMILY TENNIS

We always hear about how great Super Tennis is and how it’s the best tennis title on the Super Nintendo. Super Family Tennis doesn’t get much props. I think it’s even better than Super Tennis. The control is smooth as hell, there’s a four player option and some of the court designs are completely bonkers, filled with amusing gimmicks and sight gags.

Look no further than knocking the ball into a tranquil pond in front of a Japanese Shinto shrine (complete with a traditional Torii gate). Or smashing the ball so hard against a coconut tree that it drops a coconut on a bystander’s head, completely taking the poor sap out. It’s these quirky details that I always enjoy seeing in a video game. It doesn’t make a game but it certainly leaves you with a positive lasting impression.

The best thing about Super Family Tennis is how fun it is. A total blast with four players, it’s something that your friends or significant other can easily pick up and play with you, even if video games typically aren’t “their thing.” There are 20 characters to choose from, all with varying skills and abilities.

Music is largely absent. Instead, it relies on ambient sound effects. And it works. From the soothing crashing waves of the ocean to the echo chamber sounds of the mountain stage, there is sort of a surreal feel to this game that wouldn’t be the same had there been music.

Its wacky sense of humor, outrageous court designs, smooth control, 20 different characters and surreal sound makes Super Family Tennis a definite smash hit for the whole family.

#1: BS OUT OF BOUNDS GOLF

I have been curious about this game ever since I saw EGM preview it back in 1994. In 2006 I got back into the SNES scene and went hunting for a copy. Much to my chagrin the game was cancelled and never released on a physical cartridge. Alas, it did come out via the Satellaview Broadcast device. And thanks to the modern wonders of technology, it’s possible to experience this fine gem on a real TV. Ah, technology.

So what makes BS Out of Bounds Golf so awesome? It allows up to four players to compete and you have the ability to knock your opponent’s ball out of bounds (hence the name of the game). Of course, knocking their ball out of bounds will cost them precious stroke points. Or even just blocking their path is wicked fun. The battles get competitive and cutthroat like you wouldn’t believe. Also, because one player plays at a time, it’s a more methodical multiplayer experience. I find it works refreshingly well. There’s a ton of strategy, scouting and sabotaging involved here. It’s Schadenfreude at its finest (or worst…)

Select from three different modes.

Then choose from 12 characters, including two felines. Right away that tells you the developer (NCS, who also made Cybernator) didn’t take themselves too seriously. Keep in mind back in the mid ’90s golf games tended to be a little dull. This game, however, was packed with personality and charm.

After selecting your character you get to pick your theme. There are six themed worlds in all, with each having 8 courses. That makes 48 total courses. They range from a beach setting to even outer space. My personal favorite has to be the second world. Here you are mysteriously shrunken down to size and have to work around everyday objects such as coffee mugs, ink spills, giant cereal boxes, tomatoes and more. It’s absolutely bonkers…

What makes this game so much fun is the amount of options you have. Just look at the process of hitting the ball. First, you get to select from a power meter ranging from 1 to 100. This becomes oddly compelling in its own right. It almost becomes like a game within a game. For instance, do you use 47 or 52? 77 or 79? 91 or 94? Sometimes one point off can prove to be the difference between glorious victory and crushing defeat. It’s a thrill to see your ball barely make its way into the hole. On the flip side, nothing is more embarrassing than misjudging the power meter by one point and seeing your ball stop a mere centimeter shy of the goal!

After selecting your power, you then get to choose from one of 17 (!) different strike points on the ball. Much like pool, these strike points will determine the trajectory of your shot. While you’ll be using the dead center shot most of the time, there are times where using the trajectory shots skillfully is essential to winning. Like I said, it’s kind of like a game within a game. You’re not only battling three rivals… you’re battling yourself as well. And it works like gangbusters!

There are even weather effects and power-ups. There are at least 11 ranging from controlling your ball after hitting it to randomly switching all the balls in play. That means you can possibly swap places with a rival who is near the cup and send them way back to the beginning of a course! Sabotage never felt so sweet.

Also, each of the 48 courses have four randomly generated cup destinations. This prevents you from mastering a course simply by memorizing a certain playbook. It speaks to the game’s brilliance that there are nearly 200 possible scenarios. Add in the 17 strike points, the power meter, the wind factor, the power-ups and you get a game that feels slightly different each time you play it.

BS Out of Bounds Golf is a total riot with three friends. Expect a lot of cursing, laughing, cheering and taunting. It brings out the best and worst in people — it’s amusing to see individual personalities come out in their truest forms. There’s no other game quite like this on the SNES. And that’s why this is my favorite obscure Super Famicom game of all time.

Kids, don't try this at home! — ***MIC DROP***

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Bowing to the greatness of the vast SNES library :) — ***Bowing to the greatness of the vast SNES library***

There are a lot of good games that didn’t quite make this list, like the Parodius games. You probably didn’t agree with all of my choices but I hope this list was helpful in some way. If you found even just one new game to love from this list, then I’m happy. And remember, I purposely excluded all the awesome Super Famicom only (action) RPGs! The library is amazingly diverse and deep. Some of these games I listed are fairly well known in SNES circles, but I feel there’s still a good bunch of them that remains rather obscure. I hope this Top 50 list serves as a good resource for you and that it helps you to unearth a few new favorites. Until next time, happy gaming!

My SNES Collection

The current banner from 2014-present — Celebrating TEN YEARS!

It’s January 7, 2017. RVGFanatic launched on January 7, 2007. Wow, where has the time gone? I celebrate 10 years today. 10 years later my Super Nintendo passion still burns as brightly as it did a decade ago when I first started RVGFanatic. What was the world like 10 years ago?

YouTube was still in its infancy

George W. Bush was US president

Steve Jobs announced the first iPhone

To celebrate this milestone, I figure it’s a good time to finally reveal my Super Nintendo collection in-depth. Most of my 400+ boxed SNES games were acquired from 2006-2008. I was lucky the nostalgia bug bit me several years before it did many others. It’s the only reason I have been fortunate enough to amass the collection that I did.

Each shelf will have certain games highlighted by these categories:

Best Game — What I consider to be the best game on that shelf.
Worst Game — What I consider as the worst game on that shelf.
Guilty Pleasures — Games that I enjoy but aren’t necessarily good.
Unsung Heroes — Overlooked games that I find to be high quality.
Most Disappointing — Games I thought I would like a lot but don’t.
Most Surprising — Games I didn’t expect much from but delivered.
Most Wanted — Games I’ve still yet to play but most excited to play.
Miscellaneous — Random notes on other games not yet highlighted.

Without further ado, let’s get this party started

SHELF ONE

BEST GAME
ActRaiser
HONORABLE MENTION
Axelay

ActRaiser is an excellent first generation SNES game that alternates between side scrolling platforming action and build-a-city simulation. The two parts mesh well together like a perfectly constructed puzzle.

Speaking of alternating, Axelay does that masterfully as well, switching level to level between horizontal and vertical shooting nirvana.

WORST GAME
AAAHH!!! Real Monsters
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Adventures of Mighty Max

Incredibly tedious and annoying.

Mighty Max was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. The game? No.

GUILTY PLEASURE
An American Tale: Fievel Goes West

Nothing fancy here. Just simple, basic platforming with decent visuals.

UNSUNG HEROES
Aladdin
Alien³
Arkanoid: Doh It Again!
Blackthorne

Aladdin is often overshadowed by its Genesis counterpart but I love the brilliant animation and colors of the SNES edition. That and its dramatic hanging-on-a-ledge-by-the-tip-of-your-finger gameplay was so satisfying.

Alien³ is a solid movie licensed game in an era where many of these games weren’t very good. Try playing it with all the lights turned off…

Arkanoid: Doh It Again! is an underrated 2 player gem. It’s so simple that even non gamers can jump in and have a blast. Highly recommended!

One of the most atmospheric games on the SNES, Blackthorne proves there’s nothing like blasting goblins and trolls in a desolate mine with a sawed off shotgun. You can even “accidentally” kill innocent prisoners

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Battletoads in Battlemaniacs

Way too hard for its own good.
It just didn’t click with me.

MOST SURPRISING
3 Ninjas Kick Back

The box of 3 Ninjas Kick Back alone commands $500+. The game itself surprised me as being a decent (2 player) action platformer with three different characters to choose from. Surprisingly competent!

MOST WANTED
Adventures of Batman and Robin

The GameFan previews back in the day made it look BEAST.

MISCELLANEOUS

The most unique game here, The Adventures of Hourai High, was never officially released in America. It’s a fan translation of a Super Famicom RPG import that captures the spirit of EarthBound. I bought it from Time Walk just mere weeks before they folded.

Adventures of Kid Kleets isn’t half bad. It stands out a bit from the other me-too SNES platformers on account of having to kick a soccer ball at bad guys in order to subdue them. The ball physics made it a quirky, interesting experience.

Aero Fighters is a quality 2 player shooter.

Konami developed many classic SNES games in the ’90s. Animaniacs wasn’t one of them, and probably stands as Konami’s weakest SNES effort.

Ardy Lightfoot is a curious oddity for me in that part of me wanted to put it in the unsung hero class, but there’s another part of me that considered it for most disappointing. Worthwhile, but it’s not great like I had hoped.

Battletoads & Double Dragon wasn’t as good as I hoped, but it gave me some fond memories. One of the earliest crossovers I can remember, it was a huge deal in my gaming circle back in ’93!

Biker Mice From Mars is a nice Rock ‘N Roll Racing clone.

SHELF TWO

BEST GAME
Chrono Trigger
HONORABLE MENTION
Contra III: The Alien Wars

As much as I love Contra III: The Alien Wars, I have to give the nod to Chrono Trigger. No SNES collection is complete without them.

WORST GAME
Capcom’s MVP Football
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Chuck Rock

It’s shocking to see the words “Capcom” and “worst” in the same sentence, but MVP Football was actually developed by Equilibrium.

Chuck Rock certainly has some early generation SNES charm to it, but compared to the other titles on this shelf it’s definitely a weak link.

GUILTY PLEASURES
The Blues Brothers
The Combatribes

The Blues Brothers may look like a typical platformer on the surface but it’s not without some neat tricks. For example, you can carry and throw one another in the 2 player co-op mode. Oddly enjoyable for what it is…

The Combatribes was the second import game I ever rented back in late 1992. My brother and I loved beating up Martha Splatterhead and her delinquent gangs, all in the name of saving the Big Apple.

UNSUNG HEROES
B.O.B.
Brawl Brothers
Bust-A-Move
Captain Commando

I went through all 40+ levels of B.O.B. in the summer of 2007 and had an absolute blast. If someone turned Doom into a 2D side scrolling action platformer, it might be this. Someone once called it “retarded Metroid”

Brawl Brothers has always been a bit underrated in my book. It’s a big improvement over its predecessor, Rival Turf. My brother and I had a lot of fun with it back in the day. Doesn’t really get the props that it should.

There are better versions of Bust-A-Move out there, but that doesn’t take away from the first game still being a competitive 2 player barn burner!

Captain Commando was a late port job — it came out in the arcades in 1991 but didn’t make it over to the SNES until August 1995. It was odd to see that large a gap, but I’m glad Capcom did it. Captain Commando is far from perfect but something I’ve enjoyed revisiting over the years.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Clay Fighter

A classic case of excessive hype.

"What could possibly go wrong?" — ***“What could possibly go wrong?”***

Yeah, I’m looking at you too, Bubsy.

MOST SURPRISING
Brandish

I went into Brandish with low expectations in 2006. I ended up loving the atmosphere, music and a more cerebral style of play. The underground labyrinths are crawling with monsters galore, from T-Rex to Death itself!

MOST WANTED
Cybernator

Another sin I need to wipe clean.

MISCELLANEOUS

Brain Lord is a rock solid action RPG.

Breath of Fire is a good old school JRPG.

Breath of Fire II kicks everything up a notch. My copy is a retranslation repro. The US translation of BoF II was sloppy. The repro fixes that

Capcom’s MVP Football was a fumble but Capcom’s Soccer Shootout scored a goal. Developed by A-Max, Capcom once again slapped their name in the title. And you thought Tecmo was vain!

SNES Castlevania: Dracula X is often bashed, but I found it to be solid.

ClayMates is a worthwhile platformer. You shape shift into various animals with varying skills. The level designs are based around certain skills so you had to make the appropriate switch to progress.

Congo’s Caper is a fun platformer.

Cool Spot, based upon the 7 UP mascot, is better than it had any business being. It earned mostly positive reviews back in the day for a reason!

SHELF THREE

I like how this shelf ends with the Final Fantasy trilogy. Always nice when the end of a shelf concludes with the last game in a particular series.

BEST GAME
Final Fantasy III
HONORABLE MENTION
Donkey Kong Country

These two epic games made 1994 Super Nintendo’s year.

A shining example of greatness — A ***shining*** example of greatness

WORST GAME
D-Force
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Doomsday Warrior

Things start out kind of OK. But then the scrolling gets choppy and there’s some slowdown. Not to mention the atrocious sound. Not a completely worthless game, but it does put the “D” in D-Force.

Doomsday Warrior tried really hard at least. There may even be some merit to be found but it’s pretty underwhelming even by 1992 standards.

GUILTY PLEASURES
Dirt Trax FX
Double Dragon V
Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest

My brother and I played the hell out of the rag tag mode in Dirt Trax FX. It wasn’t the greatest game around but damn did we enjoy it.

Double Dragon V often gets crapped on, but I don’t think it’s THAT bad. Not the Double Dragon sequel we hoped for, but it’s not unplayable.

Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest has a negative reputation, but as a starter kit RPG it’s really not that bad. Plus the music absolutely kicks ass.

UNSUNG HEROES
Demon’s Crest
Equinox
Fatal Fury 2
Final Fantasy II

A ghoulish atmosphere, detailed visuals and a slick Super Metroid-esque style of play makes Demon’s Crest one sublime adventure.

Colorful visuals in some highly bizarre worlds with masterful sound by the one and only Tim Follin make Equinox worth checking out. A “save-almost-anywhere-you-go” system helps keep the difficulty in check as well as encourage repeated attempts to finally snag that elusive key.

Fatal Fury 2 certainly redeemed Takara in my eyes. Fatal Fury on the SNES was the absolute pits. But this one hit the mark with much better control, gameplay and even an option that lets you play as the bosses.

Some would say Final Fantasy II gets plenty of love. But there are times where it seems to get lost in the shuffle especially when people are quick to bring up the “big three” of Chrono Trigger, EarthBound and Final Fantasy III. Don’t forsake this amazing early RPG!

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Fatal Fury Special

Whereas Fatal Fury 2 excelled in smooth control, Fatal Fury Special did not. It’s a shame because otherwise it holds up fine for a 32-MEG port.

MOST SURPRISING
Doom

It’s surprising that it even runs on the SNES!

MOST WANTED
E.V.O.

One of the last remaining SNES RPGs I’ve yet to beat.

MISCELLANEOUS

Demolition Man is surprisingly decent.

Dino City is a nice little platformer.

Many view Donkey Kong Country 2 as the best DKC game.

Donkey Kong Country 3 is sometimes overlooked because it came out late in the SNES’ lifespan (November 1996) and wasn’t quite as epic as the first two DKC games. It’s still very, very good in its own right though.

The Earthworm Jim games are completely bonkers.

F-Zero — forever a classic.

Fighter’s History is an underrated arcade translation that doesn’t get much love. And hey, it’s the only way to play as Karnov on your SNES.

SHELF FOUR

BEST GAME
Gunman’s Proof
HONORABLE MENTION
Illusion of Gaia

My copy of Gunman’s Proof comes courtesy of Time Walk just mere weeks before they closed their doors. Gunman’s Proof is criminally underrated. Think a combination of Zelda, EarthBound and the wild west. It’s a Zelda clone with guns and bazookas! ‘Nuff said, really.

A spiritual sequel to Soul Blazer (which some fans prefer), I love the improved visuals and shape shifting shenanigans of Illusion of Gaia.

WORST GAME
Home Improvement
DISHONORABLE MENTION
The Incredible Crash Dummies

Watching Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor break things and bumble around each week in the mid ’90s was awesome. The game? Not so much.

In the early ’90s I had a weird fetish for the Crash Dummies. Imagine my sadness then when I rented this game one dark October night of 1993…

GUILTY PLEASURE
First Samurai

Not your typical SNES game filled with bright and bold colors, First Samurai is something of a quirky guilty pleasure for me. I kind of like the foreboding visuals and atmosphere. And the sound effect “OH NO! MY SWORD!” is typical of its cheesy goodness, er, mediocrity.

UNSUNG HEROES
Final Fight 3
Fire Power 2000
FireStriker
Goof Troop
Hook

Final Fight 3 is the best of the SNES Final Fight trilogy. Special moves, multiple branching paths and super specials make it a treat to play. It was roasted back in early 1996 when it came out, but became one of those games people grew to appreciate only after the passage of time.

With such a lame generic name, I didn’t expect much from Fire Power 2000 back in the day. A 2 player co-op mode helped for sure, but it was the overall smooth gameplay that made this an absolute winner.

FireStriker takes the classic Pong/Arkanoid style of play and infuses it with heroes and monsters. Quite an interesting mix.

It even sports a spiffy 4 player battle mode!

Goof Troop is a fun 2 player overhead action puzzle game. Goofy and Max complement each other extremely well — Goofy is stronger while Max is faster. One of the better 2 player titles from the 16-bit generation.

Hook plays a bit on the slow side, but I love its visuals and haunting soundtrack. A whimsical atmosphere adds to its overall appeal.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Ghoul Patrol

Remember how cool Zombies Ate My Neighbors was? And remember how good Ghoul Pa… oh wait, no one ever said that. It’s adequate, but considering it’s a spiritual sequel of ZAMN, damn was I disappointed.

Talk about jumping the shark... — Talk about jumping the shark…

MOST SURPRISING
Harley’s Humongous Adventure

The idea of playing a shrunken protagonist navigating everyday objects and environments has greatly appealed to me ever since I saw Honey, I Shrunk The Kids in 1989. Harley’s Humongous Adventure may not have the most appealing aesthetic but it is rather surprisingly decent.

MOST WANTED
Hagane

It’s been over 10 years since I bought it and sadly I’ve still yet to play it. The only thing more mind blowing? I bought it back in 2006 for $5!

MISCELLANEOUS

Just as how it was nice that shelf three ended with the three Final Fantasy games, I love how shelf four begins with the Final Fight trilogy.

A classic early SNES shooter, Gradius III is plagued by bouts of slowdown but it’s got an amazing soundtrack and that vintage Gradius gameplay.

Few companies did bosses like Konami!

Konami also makes a mean soccer game — International Superstar Soccer Deluxe is arguably the best 16-bit soccer game ever crafted.

Harvest Moon is a cute little farming simulation.

SHELF FIVE

BEST GAME
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
HONORABLE MENTION
Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball

Who could forget the rain? — Who could ever forget the rain?

Well, that was easy. Not only is The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past considered arguably the best Super Nintendo game of all time, but it’s also widely regarded as quite possibly the best video game ever created. It’s a timeless, quintessential adventure that never fails to leave a mark.

My all-time favorite baseball game.

WORST GAME
Izzy’s Quest for the Olympic Rings
DISHONORABLE MENTION
King Arthur & the Knights of Justice

Ironically, these were the last two games ever reviewed by Super Play Magazine. I guess they were so bad that even Super Play had to stop and ask themselves “What are we doing with our lives?”

GUILTY PLEASURE
Lagoon

Released December 1991, Lagoon has that first generation SNES charm. Many hated it but once you work out the kinks and quirks, the game can become oddly enjoyable.

UNSUNG HEROES
Joe & Mac
Joe & Mac 2
Judge Dredd
King of Dragons
Knights of the Round

Sure, it’s a bit slow in places but it’s tremendously fun to throw stone tires and boomerangs at all sorts of dinosaurs, all in the name of saving your special cave lady. Best of all, you could do it with a friend.

Joe & Mac 2: Lost in the Tropics is a damn fine sequel. It refined a few things from the first game and makes for a worthy addition to any SNES library.

I didn’t expect much from Judge Dredd but was pleasantly surprised by how well it plays. Shoot, punch and kick bad guys into oblivion. Not great but good for a movie tie-in.

Capcom delivered SNES owners with two of the better beat ‘em ups in the form of King of Dragons and Knights of the Round. Now that’s how you do King Arthur justice!

Blocking and leveling up added depth.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
King of the Monsters

When you take out the game’s best mode (the tornado tag team bedlam mode) and gut two of the six monsters, you’ve earned this “award.” King of the Monsters was as big a disappointment as the monsters themselves.

MOST SURPRISING
Killer Instinct

Given how much had to be sacrificed!
Wow, what an effort!

MOST WANTED
The Legend of the Mystical Ninja

I know, I know.
This WILL change in 2017.

MISCELLANEOUS

The Jetsons is a childhood curiosity I still need to quell.

Ditto The Jungle Book.

Still waiting for it patiently... — Still waiting for it patiently…

If you spotted Side Pocket and wonder what the hell it’s doing there, good eye. It’s a placeholder for Justice Beaver. I funded it back in 2015 and am still waiting for the product to be finished.

King of the Monsters 2 was an admirable port.

Kirby's Dream Course — *Kirby’s Dream Course*

Kirby's Dream Land 3 — *Kirby’s Dream Land 3*

All of the Kirby games are terrific.

SHELF SIX

I love how the second row of this shelf begins with the Mega Man quintet. And the first row opens with both Lemmings 1 and 2.

BEST GAME
Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals
HONORABLE MENTION
Mega Man X

From recruiting monsters to the IP system, Lufia II rocks!

X marks the spot indeed.

WORST GAME
Lester the Unlikely
DISHONORABLE MENTION
The Mask

"Aw c'mon, I'm not THAT bad..." — *“Aw c’mon, I’m not THAT bad…”*

Lacking in self-esteem, Lester’s courage and abilities increase as you progress through the game. It sounds intriguing on paper but unfortunately it lacks in execution what Lester lacks in confidence.

To its credit, The Mask was faithful to source material and tried to be different from your typical movie licensed platformer. But its ugly animations and terrible aesthetic brings it down a notch or two.

GUILTY PLEASURES
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

They won’t make any top 50 lists but they’re decent.

UNSUNG HEROES
Looney Tunes B-Ball
Lost Vikings
Lost Vikings 2
The Magical Quest: Starring Mickey Mouse
Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems
Mega Man 7
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Fighting Edition

NBA Jam meets Looney Tunes.
Great 4 player fun!

Using three vikings’ specialized abilities to reach the stage exit, The Lost Vikings was both innovative and refreshing.

The sequel introduced Fang the wolf and Scorch the dragon. These were fairly underrated titles that got a bit lost [har har -Ed.] in the fold.

Magical Quest’s classic “take-a-block-from-the-sky-and-use-it-on-bad-guys” system, along with costumes that altered Mickey’s abilities, made it such a bloody good time.

Similar to X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, I prefer this game due to its roster (Iron Man, Spider Man, Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine). Plus you can select any superhero for any stage whereas in X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse you couldn’t. Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems came out October 1996 so it’s often forgotten. Give it a shot!

Mega Man 7 divided the fanbase. His homecoming was met with mixed reviews but I find it akin to slipping on an old comfortable pair of jeans.

The best Power Rangers game ever.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Mortal Kombat

Iffy controls hurt it more than a lack of blood.

MOST SURPRISING
Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City

Michael Jordan in a platformer beating up bad guys with a basketball? That’s as crazy as him retiring from the NBA in his prime to go pursue a baseball career. Both happened, but only one turned out to be any good.

MOST WANTED
Metal Warriors

Shame shield activated.

MISCELLANEOUS

Mega Man X² was not the leap over Mega Man X like many of us hoped, but it’s a quality sequel nevertheless.

Mega Man X³ introduced Zero as a playable character. The Mega Man games are a bit like pizza. When it’s good, it’s really good. But even when it’s a bit eh, it’s still alright. Mega Man X³ falls somewhere in the middle.

Can’t go wrong with the Blue Bomber!

The SNES port of Mortal Kombat II spelled vindication and redemption. The blood and Fatalities were both retained in this second go-round, surprising the hell out of everyone back in 1994.

This shelf ends with two “Mr.” games.
The next begins with “Ms.”
Amusing coincidence

This shelf segregation is NUTZ! [… -Ed.]

SHELF SEVEN

BEST GAME
NBA Jam T.E.
HONORABLE MENTION
NBA Live ’96

NBA Jam T.E. is a riot with 4 players.

Balances arcade style with simulation well.

WORST GAME
The Pagemaster
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Pinocchio

Generic, dull, repetitive and bad control plagued both these platformers. On a system littered with memorable ones, these two missed the mark.

GUILTY PLEASURE
Ninja Gaiden Trilogy

Many Ninja Gaiden fans have been vocal about the mishandling of this SNES port. So vocal in fact that I almost feel guilty enjoying it as much as I do. Such a shame there was never a proper 16-bit sequel.

UNSUNG HEROES
Natsume Championship Wrestling
Operation Logic Bomb
Pieces

From a pure wrestling standpoint, NCW > Saturday Night Slam Masters.

A quietly solid top-down shooter, Operation Logic Bomb is a one man wrecking crew of a good time.

Pieces is an underrated quirky game. You wouldn’t think assembling pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to be that much fun, but it somehow is. Throw in a nifty 2 player mode and you have a surprisingly competitive affair.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Nosferatu

Nosferatu was previewed in 1992 but didn’t come out until late 1995. With that much time you would expect a highly polished game. Instead, its broken difficulty past level 3 makes it a waste of massive potential.

MOST SURPRISING
Phalanx

"JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CARE!" — ***“JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON’T CARE!”***

How did this cover get the green light?!

stevecoll98b — The actual game isn’t too bad

MOST WANTED
Ninja Warriors

Man, I really need to fix this. And soon.

MISCELLANEOUS

I like how the previous shelf ended with two “Mister” games and this one began with Ms. Pacman

NBA Give ‘N Go can be a lot of fun.

Can’t go wrong with EA’s NHL series.

The Peace Keepers was a disappointing follow-up to Brawl Brothers. The US version was “Americanized” and to no one’s surprise, these changes were to the detriment of the product.

Phantom 2040 is said to be pretty good.

SHELF EIGHT

BEST GAME
Pocky & Rocky
HONORABLE MENTION
Rock ‘N Roll Racing

Pocky & Rocky is tough but it’s one of the better 2 player SNES games.

I remember renting Rock ‘N Roll Racing back in the day and loving its music and violent racing. Born to be Wild never gets old.

WORST GAME
Realm
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Power Moves

Released in December 1996, Realm had a chance to be a sleeper hit. It’s a run ‘n gun featuring some nice visuals and unique creature designs. Unfortunately, the broken difficulty renders it nearly unplayable.

Power Moves was the first import I ever rented back in late 1992. Even then as kids we knew it was a bit lacking. Don’t even bother unless you’re going for a complete collection or for the sake of nostalgia.

GUILTY PLEASURES
Radical Rex
Rocky Rodent

Radical Rex is the very definition of fair to middling. But there was something about controlling a skateboarding t-rex with ‘tude that I found somewhat appealing.

Speaking of mascot platformers, Rocky Rodent was hard as nails but I liked how collecting different hairdos gave Rocky different powers.

UNSUNG HEROES
Plok
RoboTrek
Run Saber

Plok is a criminally underrated platformer where you control a strange bloke who fires his limbs at enemies, way before Rayman did it. It looks like a “kiddy game” but don’t be fooled, it’s tough as nails.

RoboTrek’s unique combat system, ability to customize robotic allies and the zany universe made it such a blast to play. Love the art style, too!

SNES fans got gypped when it came to Strider. However, Run Saber is a solid consolation prize. It’s a short, easy and fun 2 player hack ‘n slash.

Creepy and loads of fun! — Creepy bosses abound!

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Prehistorik Man

Slippery control derailed this promising platformer.

MOST SURPRISING
Rival Turf

For all the hate Rival Turf gets — some have called it Rival Turd — I was pleasantly surprised by how decent this turned out to be, especially for April 1992. It was the first SNES beat ‘em up to feature a 2 player mode.

MOST WANTED
R-Type III

Said to be one of the best SNES shooters.
Why haven’t I played it yet?

MISCELLANEOUS

Pocky & Rocky 2 was a worthy sequel.

Prince of Persia is an interesting little game.

Not counting the orange box of Final Fight Guy, Riddick Bowe Boxing is the only North American SNES box that doesn’t have the traditional black side. Instead it’s gray, white and red; it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Another box that stands out on this shelf is Robocop vs. Terminator. It’s the only SNES box that is a hard clamshell and has no title on the side. The game itself can be fun in a dumb, violent kind of way.

SHELF NINE

BEST GAME
Shadowrun
HONORABLE MENTION
Secret of Mana

Shadowrun is a unique action RPG set in a futuristic cyberpunk world. The game opens with your character awakening from his slumber atop a cold steel slab. It hooked me right away and didn’t let go until the game’s satisfying finale. A sequel was hinted at during the end credits that we sadly never got.

Secret of Mana was an innovative action RPG that allowed 3 players to go at it. This was unheard of back in 1993. Mana may be a little overhyped in some circles but it’s still a quality adventure worth venturing through.

WORST GAME
Speed Racer
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Spider-Man & the X-Men: Arcade’s Revenge

Speed Racer switches from side scrolling platforming to a racing game. The former is barely passable but the latter is absolutely atrocious.

Spider-Man & the X-Men: Arcade’s Revenge was way too hard and while not without some redeeming qualities (the music rocks), overall it falls shy of the mark. Not the worst game ever, though.

GUILTY PLEASURES
Snow White: Happily Ever After
Sporting News Baseball

Yes, I own a Snow White video game and yes, I kind of dig it. What the hell am I doing with my life?! The platforming is surprisingly competent. Just not the thing you go ’round talking about, not even on the internet

Sporting News Baseball isn’t the greatest baseball game around, but it features the iconic baseball field from my favorite film, Field of Dreams.

UNSUNG HEROES
Secret of Evermore
Skyblazer
Soul Blazer
Space Megaforce

These may not be upper echelon but they’re close

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Sparkster

It’s actually pretty good.
I was just expecting a lot more.

MOST SURPRISING
Street Fighter Alpha 2

Amazing what Capcom squeezed into a Super Nintendo cartridge!

MOST WANTED
Star Fox

Hopefully I appreciate this in 2017 as I would have in 1993…

MISCELLANEOUS

Some under-the-radar titles from this shelf:

While none of those titles will appear on any top 10 list, they kind of typify a good portion of the SNES catalog. Ranging from decent to very solid, while they’re not essential, they sure round out a collection nicely.

Saturday Night Slam Masters is classic 4 player mayhem.

S.O.S: Sink or Swim, not to be confused with SOS, is a pretty cool action puzzler. 100 levels of fun that will work the brain muscles!

If you love beat ‘em ups, Stone Protectors is worth a look. Nothing spectacular, but it quietly gets the job done.

SHELF TEN

BEST GAME
Super Metroid
HONORABLE MENTION
Super Mario World

This shelf, man. This f*ckin’ shelf.

WORST GAME
Super Godzilla
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Super James Pond

Thank God for Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen!

A small 'stretch' to call this awful — Not a stretch to say this *isn’t that* bad at all

But yeah. This shelf is stacked.
Someone had to bite the bullet!

GUILTY PLEASURE
Super Adventure Island

Basic. Bare bones. But that’s the charm.

UNSUNG HEROES
Sunset Riders
Super Baseball 2020
Super Baseball Simulator 1.000
Super Bases Loaded 2

Sunset Riders is flat out awesome.

If you like your 16-bit baseball, Super Baseball 2020 is an entertaining futuristic take on the sport. For another outlandish quirky baseball title, be sure to check out Super Baseball Simulator 1.000. It’s outta this world!

[I see what you did there… -Ed.]

Looking for a more traditional baseball game? Then check out the quietly stellar Super Bases Loaded 2. A bit slow but super fun.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Super Bonk

Not bad but not as good as I hoped.

MOST SURPRISING
Street Racer

Has tons of heart plus a 4 player mode!

MOST WANTED
Super Adventure Island II

Please forgive me, Master Higgins.

MISCELLANEOUS

You know a shelf is stacked when you can’t even list the following as honorable mentions:

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island — *Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island*

[More like Yoshi's Island -Ed.] — *[More like Yoshi’s Island -Ed.]*

Hey, I’m just going by the box title!

SHELF ELEVEN

BEST GAME
Tetris Attack
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Super Street Fighter II
TMNT IV: Turtles in Time

Mega addicting. Bloody brilliant.

Way too close a call between Super Street Fighter II and Turtles in Time. To exclude either would be downright wrong.

WORST GAME
Time Slip
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Tom & Jerry

It wishes it were a homeless man’s Contra.

Not horrible but never passes mediocrity.

GUILTY PLEASURES
SWAT Kats
Tecmo Super NBA Basketball

Reminds me of a 1990 NES game.
And I say that affectionately!

Outdated but still kind of fun.

UNSUNG HEROES
Super Smash TV
Super Turrican
Super Turrican 2
Tecmo Super Baseball
Tecmo Super Bowl
Tiny Toons: Buster Busts Loose
TMNT: Tournament Fighters

Ranging from pretty good to excellent, any of these games would do well to round out a strong Super Nintendo collection.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Thunder Spirits

Thunder Force III eats it for breakfast.

MOST SURPRISING
Super Slap Shot

I really thought this game was going to suck but it ended up reminding me of a 16-bit version of Blades of Steel. Let me pump the brakes because I don’t want to overstate this game’s stock — but it’s surprisingly decent!

Blades of Steel (NES) — *Blades of Steel* (NES)

MOST WANTED
Super Star Wars
Super Empire Strikes Back
Super Return of the Jedi

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… I played the first one very briefly. It’s time I rectify this and play the other two. R.I.P. Carrie Fisher

MISCELLANEOUS

Time Trax isn’t too shabby.

Can’t go wrong with the Top Gear trilogy.

Closest thing to Out Run on the SNES

I had an odd fetish for Top Gear 3000…

It even sports a quirky 4 player mode!

SHELF TWELVE

The box of EarthBound is so big it needed its own shelf!

Love, LOVE this wacky game! — *A classic coming-of-age adventure!*

BEST GAME
Zombies Ate My Neighbors
HONORABLE MENTION
Wild Guns

Two of the best SNES games to play with a friend.

WORST GAME
Ultraman
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Wild C.A.T.S.

Ultraman was one of the earliest SNES games my brother and I rented. Even back then we knew it sucked. I keep it for the sheer nostalgia…

Wild C.A.T.S. isn’t awful. Just eh.

GUILTY PLEASURE
Wolfchild

The old man’s been kidnapped and it’s up to you to save pops. Luckily, you can turn into a werewolf as well as use a wide variety of firearms. Nothing special, but it’s enjoyable enough, especially on a rainy day.

UNSUNG HEROES
The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang
True Lies
U.N. Squadron
World Heroes
World Heroes 2

Vladamasco is being ruled under the iron fist of the diabolical General Von Hesler. As young Spike, a junior magician and vampire in training, you must traverse many strange lands to put an end to Von Hesler’s wicked ways. Attack with your trusty cape and hat (which can be upgraded) in this short but sweet action RPG. It can be beaten in three measly hours, but what fun you’ll have!

Worthy of the Arnold name, True Lies is barbaric and one of the best 16-bit movie licensed games. Few SNES games can match its sheer brutality.

U.N. Squadron is loads of fun.

I’ve always found the SNES port of World Heroes to be underrated and faithful. Easy to pull off combos, vibrant visuals and those oh-so-vicious Death Matches make this one a winner in my book. Besides, where else can you knock someone into burning ropes?

16 fighters, 24 megs and 32 fists (plus a sword and bearded axe) to contend with, World Heroes 2 is everything a sequel should be: bigger and better. The home port adds in a speed option and the ability to play as the two bosses, bringing the count to a whopping 16. Only Super Street Fighter II had as many at that time. Truly an unsung hero. Pun intended.

MOST DISAPPOINTING
Total Carnage

Total Carnage is a semi-sequel to Super Smash TV that fails to recapture the magic of the original. This is further exacerbated by a somewhat shoddy home port.

MOST SURPRISING
Wolfenstein 3D

I saw Wolfenstein at a friend’s house in 1992 but my first time ever playing it was with the Super Nintendo in early 1994. And I freaking loved it. I was surprised by how smoothly it ran, relatively speaking of course. In my book, it stands as a stunning, underrated achievement.

MOST WANTED
Ys III: Wanderers From Ys

It will be my first Ys game!

MISCELLANEOUS

Tuff E Nuff is kind of odd, from the energy bar placement to the title printed on the box, which reads in full: Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff? It’s fairly decent for a homegrown SNES fighter, however.

Speaking of homegrown fighters, WeaponLord is very deep.

X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse was a step in the right direction.

Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel is worth a look.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Super Nintendo games represent a sweet spot in gaming for me. It was during a time where games weren’t overly simplistic yet they weren’t yet too complicated, either. It just strikes that happy medium for me. I also find that many SNES games have aged extremely well. Many are as playable and as enjoyable today as they were 20, 25 years ago. It’s a true testament to the timeless quality that many of these games exude.

Playing beats quelling a childhood curiosity at long last! — Nothing like quelling a childhood curiosity at long last!

One of my favorite things to do is come home on a Friday night after a long grueling work week, head to the game room and finally playing that one game that I’ve been wondering about ever since the ’90s. Finding the game on the shelf, opening it up, reading through the color manual, and popping it in to at long last quell a 20+ year curiosity. One guy said it best years ago when he said “It feels like I’m fulfilling my childhood dreams.” Aside from your SNES classics and gems, I find there are also over 100 games that are perfectly playable and enjoyable. Maybe they’re nothing to write home about necessarily, but they can certainly entertain you for a weekend or two. I own over 400 boxed Super Nintendo games and I’d say only a small handful of them are bad. It really blows my mind how deep the SNES library is. It’s probably why I find myself coming back to the system time after time. It’s been a great journey these past 10 years!

Here's to 10 more! — ***Thanks for the memories, SNES***

Here's to 10 more years! :D — ***Here’s to 10 more years!***

For Whom The Belch Tolls

They say the only things certain in life are death and taxes. How about change? Times change, people change. Whether we like it or not. Hell, I’ve been using the same oven mitt for twelve years. Changes are happening in the world as well as our very own. Maybe you had a best friend. All relationships go through a change at one point or another. It’s inevitable. Life happens. Maybe one person is hanging onto the past, while the other has moved on. And it’s not always a question of who changed, but who hasn’t. Often times it’s unsettling, especially when you see an old best friend you haven’t seen in years. You always wonder, is the magic still there? Or have you both grown apart? You find yourself wondering, do we have anything left in common, other than the past? One thing’s for sure: it’s not easy saying goodbye.

If you’re lucky, you had a best friend at some time in your life. A best friend you hung out with, grew up with. Are you still best friends with that person? Or have times changed? The following story is something many of us can relate to. I know I sure can. It’s about two best friends, the good old days and the passing of time. It’s my favorite episode from one of my favorite shows, Home Improvement.

One [or two -Ed.] of the best things to come from it! — One *[or two -Ed.]* of the best things to come from it!

The original Tool Girl was Pamela Anderson

So popular it even had its own (terrible) game!

SHOW HISTORY AND LEGACY

Home Improvement was one of the most watched sitcoms of the 1990s. Debuting just one month after the Super Nintendo did in the US, the family sitcom comedy exploded into American households coast to coast on September 17, 1991. The show centered around Tim Taylor, an accident-prone father of three out in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. He also was the host of a lowly rated cable tool show, TOOL TIME, where in each episode audiences were almost guaranteed one of the following: Tim cracks on Al Borland (Tim’s assistant), Tim cracks on Al’s hefty mom, or Tim causes an accident. Sometimes all three. TOOL TIME played nicely as a show within a show. Back home, Tim’s plucky wife Jill held down the fort while neighbor Wilson Wilson (yes, Wilson Wilson) imparted much of his vast wisdom to Tim in almost every episode, with the amusing gimmick of the audience never being able to see Wilson’s face. As the series evolved, Jill goes back to college to gain her Master’s Degree, the boys grow up and adopt their own trademarks. Young Mark becomes a goth-type, middle son Randy becomes an outspoken environmentalist and Brad becomes entrenched with his blossoming soccer career. Meanwhile, Tim goes through the various stages of being a father, husband, employee, brother and friend. The sitcom ruled the ’90s, winning numerous awards and nominations. The final episode aired on May 25, 1999. Home Improvement ran for eight seasons airing a total of 205 shows. To this day, reruns can be caught on syndicated TV, DVD box sets have been released and fans still regard it fondly as one of their favorite sitcoms of all time.

What accounted for the show’s mega popularity among viewers? Sure, people got a kick out of Tim blowing things up and knocking out Bob Vila with a 4×8, but there was more to it than that. All the characters were immensely likable. You had the never-ending philosophical wisdom of wacky Wilson, Al’s wonderful rapport with Tim, rock-bottom Benny, and of course, who could forget the gorgeous Debbe Dunning as the Tool Girl? Most importantly, the show was funny and it had heart. Some episodes were plain silly while others dealt with serious life matters yet managed to do it in classic Home Improvement fashion: handling it with the right touch of sensitivity while maintaining the lighthearted sense of humor the show was so well known for. Episodes about drugs, cancer and death are only a few examples. This was nothing new among TV sitcoms (Full House and Saved By The Bell had already dealt with such issues) but Home Improvement added its own spin in successful fashion. It was a classic sitcom and the last one I ever really cared about.

R.I.P. EARL HINDMAN (WILSON WILSON)

"Well Tim, I'm reminded of the 16th century poet..." — *“Well Tim, I’m reminded of the 16th century poet…”*

Besides Tim, Wilson was my favorite character. Imagine living next to him and having the luxury of hearing various 14th century quotes and anecdotes to lift you out of any sticky situation. Now that’s a neighbor right there. He also had the ingenious gimmick of always having his face obscured. Usually by the fence but later on the producers found more creative methods that ranged from silverware to even medieval knight helmets!

Somehow he was always at the right place, right time

Wherever trouble was brewing, Wilson was there

SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE

Christopher McDonald makes a special one time guest appearance in this Home Improvement episode. You might remember him. He’s been in over 80 films and usually plays the devious bad guys or pompous assholes. Brief résumé:

Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore
Tappy Tibbons from Requiem for a Dream
Thelma & Louise
Grumpy Old Men
Portrayed Joe DiMaggio in ESPN’s original The Bronx Is Burning
Voice actor (Iron Giant, Superman: The Animated Series, Batman Beyond)

This is a story of two old best friends…

The passing of time…

And that inevitable mistress we call change.

Whether we wish for change to happen or not.

Always has, and by God, always will.

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER… OR BEST FRIENDS 15 YEARS AGO?

Original air date: January 14, 1992 (almost 25 years!)

“Now remember what I told you. Plant your elbow inside your knee like this. Alright, and don’t just lift your arm, pull the weight to your shoulder. GOOD, good. Now exhale. Try grunting, it helps.”

“ARR! ARR! ARRRR!”

“Good job. You gonna be real strong if you keep this up.”

“I wanna be the strongest one on the football team.”

“I can see it now. Bradley Taylor, the muscular son of Tim Taylor carrying the ball, he’s got sixty people dragging behind him. 30, the 20, the 10 — OH — he fell because his muscles are just TOO big!”

"Hey Brad, your muscles look really big..." — *“Hey Brad, your muscles look really big…”*

“Think so?”

“Yeah, the one IN YOUR HEAD.”

"Easy boys... I'll give you haircuts..." — *“Easy boys… I’ll give you haircuts…”*

"WHOA. Muscle Beach right here in my own garage" — *“WHOA. Muscle Beach right here in my own garage”*

“Wrong honey, this is the Tim Taylor Testosterone hour. I got an idea. Let’s flex for her. Drop the weights. Alright guys, prepare yourself, ready…

Egyptian Biception!“

"THREE POINT CRAB!" — *“THREE POINT CRAB!”*

"Wow, incredible, ten points" — *“Wow, incredible, ten points”*

"I PUMP FER YOU MY LITTLE ANGEL. VHERE'S DEE OIL!?" — *“I PUMP FER YOU MY LITTLE ANGEL. VHERE’S DEE OIL!?”*

“Well stick around and I’ll smear you with bacon grease.”

“I’LL BE BACK!”

“Tim, don’t forget to pick up some videos tonight after work.”

“Yeah Dad, how about we get Bury Me Again?”

“Hey NO! It’s family night!”

“Yeah yeah honey, it’s family night… oooh how about… Bayonet Hell?”

“Hey, it’s my turn to pick. You’re going to get Sound of Music.”

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!“

*phone rings*

“I’ll get it.”

“Family movie…”

fwtbt12 — *“How about we get Fang Woman? She had a family”*

"She ATE her family" — *“She ATE her family”*

"What's the matter?" — *“What’s the matter?”*

“STU CUTLER.”

“Calling from Akron?”

“No, he’s in town.”

“Great!”

“DO NOT invite that slug over here tonight.”

“Come on… he’s one of my best friends.”

"Hey Puke Face! How's it hanging? And DEEP, haha!" — *“Hey Puke Face! How’s it hanging? And DEEP, haha!”*

"So they let ya back in town. We gotta see each other" — *“So they let ya back in town. We gotta see each other”*

"Jill would love to see ya..." — *“Jill would love to see ya…”*

"This afternoon? Oh, uh..." — *“This afternoon? Oh, uh…”*

“… I gotta work. Be working all day… uh huh… Come over there… yeah… yeah it’ll be great… uh huh… Not even with your lips, haha. Alright, see ya then.”

“Please say he’s not coming over tonight cause it’s Family Night, and the chili, cornbread, the Sound of Music.”

“I didn’t invite him OVER. I said I’ll meet him after work. We’ll go have a couple beers. I’ll come home after that.”

“ALONE.”

“Yes. Why are you so hard on Stu?”

“The last time he was here he shook up a beer and sprayed it all over the family room.”

“Foam fight. He likes to clown around.”

“His idea of clowning around is drinking and making body noises.”

“So? He likes to drink beer and make music.”

“Playing ‘The Girl From Ipanema’ in his armpit is not musical.”

“You ever tried that?”

“That’s it from me, Tim the Tool Man Taylor, reminding you to get those storm windows and doors in early… CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW, when that storm’s gonna come rollin’ through. See ya next time.”

“CUTLER?!”

“Hey buddy! Good to see you!”

“And you too!”

"See you Monday, Tim" — *“See you Monday, Tim”*

“Wait a minute, Al. Come over here, c’mon. This wild dog here was my college roommate. Stu Cutler, Al Borland.”

"Hey Al. Nice beard... had chili for lunch, huh?" — *“Hey Al. Nice beard… had chili for lunch, huh?”*

"No, I didn't, Stu" — *“No I didn’t, Stu”*

"SO, gotta work with this JERK huh, Al?" — *“SO, gotta work with this JERK huh, Al?”*

"... well, it was nice meeting ya" — *“… well, it was nice meeting ya”*

"Uh, great sense of humor!" "Thank you" — *“Uh, GREAT sense of humor!” “Thank you”*

"He's serious but he knows his way around the shop" — *“He’s serious but he knows his way around the shop”*

“Kill me, juuust kill me now. She looks even better in person. Introduce me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s a coworker, a good friend of mine and you’re nothing but dry hog phlegm.”

“Watch my move.”

“Bye Tim, see you Monday.”

“Bye Lisa.”

“Ahhh boy. It’s good to see you STILL have it, Cutler. She’s not your type, man. SHE CAN SEE. Now come on, let’s go down and get a beer. I’ll get changed up and go.”

“I thought we go to the place on the corner we like.”

“You’re not gonna take me home to dinner?”

“I thought maybe just you and me go out together.”

"Wait, now I can't come to town without seeing Jill Pill" — *“Wait, now I can’t come to town without seeing Jill Pill”*

“She’ll understand. It’ll be like a guys’ night out.”

"Wait, so you don't want me to come to your house" — *“Wait, so you don’t want me to come to your house”*

“No, of course not, you’re ALWAYS welcomed at my house.”

“WELL LET’S GO!“

"... YEAH, WHY NOT!" — *“… YEAH, WHY NOT!”*

“Jill will be so surprised to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see her face!”

“Me neither…”

***15 MINUTES LATER***

“Jill, Jill!”

“Oh good you’re home. You got rid of Stu fast.”

“I didn’t get rid of him — he’s parking his car.”

"OH NO YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME?!" — **“OH NO YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME?!”**

“Jill, he really misses you. He likes you.”

“No he doesn’t, he just likes to make fun of me and crush beer cans on his head.”

“Well, they gotta be crushed if you gonna recycle them… aww, I couldn’t get rid of him. I couldn’t say no. He’ll just come over, have a beer and that’s it.”

“Well OK, but if he crosses the line I’m personally going to throw him out.”

“What’s crossing the line?”

"Behavior that would be classified as SUBHUMAN" — *“Behavior that would be classified as SUBHUMAN”*

"Can't you be a little more flexible than that?" — *“Can’t you be a little more flexible than that?”*

“After ONE beer, he is GONE.”

"OOOOOWWWW-OOOOOOOH!" — *“OWWWW-OOOOOOOH!”*

"THEEEEE STU-STER'S HEEEEERE!" — *“THEEEEE STU-STER’S HEEEEERE!”*

“Beer, Stu?”

“READ MY MIND!“

“Come on in, buddy!”

"WHERE'S THAT JILL?" — ***“WHERE’S THAT JILL?”***

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" — *“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”*

"Gosh you look good. You've lost some weight" — *“Gosh you look good. Now you’ve lost some weight”*

“Yeah, I have. Thanks.”

"Now THERE'S a very human compliment" — *“Now THERE’S a very human compliment”*

"So what's the goal, another 10?" — *“So what’s the goal, another 10?”*

"Tim, if you hadn't married Jill, I would have" — *“Tim, if you hadn’t married Jill, I would have”*

"Ha, now there's something to think about, honey" — *“Ha, now there’s something to think about, honey”*

"Weeell... life would sure be different" — *“Weeell… life would sure be different”*

“Well it sure would. Timmy, you’d be visiting us tonight. And Jill would be a satisfied woman.”

"Almost done with that beer, Stu?" — *“Almost done with that beer, Stu?”*

“Haven’t even cracked it. So, where’s the boys?”

“They’re across the street.”

“Well, get them over here Jill. I gotta see those wild puppies!”

“Well, they wouldn’t want to miss the Stu-ster. Brad, Randy, Mark!”

“Hey come on!”

“Ah I wasn’t gonna do it, Timmy. Just wanted to see that look on Jill’s face…”

"Oh yup, there's that look right there!" — *“Oh yup, there’s that look right there!”*

“Stu-ster!”

“Randy! WHOA LOOK AT YOU!”

“Hey Stu!”

“The Bradster! You guys are getting so big! Pretty soon you’ll be able to take the old man.”

“Uncle Stu!!”

“Marky! God you’re getting so big and strong.”

“We’ve been lifting Dad’s weights, wanna see them?”

“Well sure, where are they?”

“In the garage, come on.”

“Ooooh.”

“Daddy’s been posing for mommy.”

"Posing as what? A MAN??" — *“Posing as what? A MAN??”*

“Did he cross the line? You gotta admit, it’s an interesting way to begin Family Night huh?”

“Yeah.”

"THERE SHE WAS JUST AH WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET!" — *“THERE SHE WAS JUST AH WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET!”*

“Singing DO-WAH-DIDDY-DIDDY-DUM-DEE-DO!

She looked good,
she looked fine,
she looked good
she looked fine,
and I nearly lost my mind!

Oh Taylor! Think quick!”

*Stu tosses crushed beer can to Tim to be recycled*

"It's official, that beer can is gone" — *“It’s official — that beer can is gone”*

“I’m way ahead of ya. I’ll get him to go.”

“Hey guys, you go inside and help set the table. I’m gonna talk to Uncle Stu.”

“Oh not so fast poser. I got 150 pounds on here. Boys, I don’t think the old man can bench press this.”

“Show him, Dad.”

“Yeah, do it.”

“Spot me.”

“Oooooh.”

"... Were you gonna do this sometime today?" — *“… Were you gonna do this sometime today?”*

"He's turning red. I hope his eyes don't pop out" — *“He’s turning red. I hope his eyes don’t pop out”*

“Are you OK Dad?”

“It’s easy when you use the right form.”

"Are you gonna cry?" — *“Are you gonna cry?”*

"NO I'M NOT GUNNA CRY! Go set the table" — *“NO I’M NOT GONNA CRY! Go set the table”*

"Haha, you didn't strain anything there, did ya?" — *“Haha, you didn’t strain anything there, did ya?”*

“Hey, remember how we used to go to the gym, practically kill ourselves trying to impress Donna Gilmore?”

“I haven’t seen or heard from her in years.”

“Hey remember, you and me and Donna driving around in our ’68 Impala, top down, her blonde hair blowing in the wind… gosh she was a beauty.”

"Sure was. WHAT A CAR" — *“Sure was. **WHAT A CAR**“*

“That was a 327 small-block, man. It had an Edelbrock Holley 850 dual feed on that thing. It had tubular headers, glass packs. Chromed the kanuter valve, hahaha!”

“Hey, you know what I got?”

“I know what you got!”

“Picture of that Impala!”

“There’s that screaming machine.”

“This would be a classic today if it weren’t for that little fire we had, and I know I turned that fuel filter on. It wasn’t my fault!”

"HA... yeah we've had some good times haven't we" — *“HA… yeah we’ve had some good times haven’t we”*

“Don’t you wish we could go BACK… live those days all over again?“

"They were great... but today's real good, ya know?" — *“They were great… but today’s real good, ya know?”*

“Just look me straight in the eye, and tell me that wasn’t the BEST time of your life.”

“… It was good… it was good… listen Stu, Jill and I were talking, tonight’s Family Night — “

“Wait, you’ve already made me feel like family. You know what we need here? Another beer!”

"Awww, I'm all out! I should have thought of that..." — *“Awww, I’m all out! I should have thought of that…”*

“Hey no prob — I’ll just go get some more.”

"Whoa Stu, are you leaving?" "Yeah" — *“Whoa Stu, are you leaving?” “Yeah”*

"Well, SO nice to see you. I hope we can do it again" — *“Well, SO nice to see you. I hope we can do it again”*

"Well let's do it again in 15! I'm just getting some beer" — *“Well let’s do it again in 15! I’m just getting some beer”*

"Jill, that pile of human vermin, best friend I ever had" — *“Jill, that pile of human vermin, best friend I ever had”*

"Stu, you should write greeting cards" — *“Stu, you should write greeting cards”*

“Ha… oh wait… *burp* AH, there it was.”

***STU EXITS***

“I told you I’d get him to go after one beer...”

"I didn't say he wouldn't be coming back..." — *“… I didn’t say he wouldn’t be coming back…”*

“I know we used to be friends in college and everything, but do you, um, like Stu now?”

“I know he can be a pain, but we shared a lot of good times.”

“Well, if you just met him today for the first time, do you think that you would become friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“He’s a lot of laughs.”

“I guess I just don’t get it.”

"... it's a guy thing" — *“… it’s a guy thing”*

“What you doin’?”

“OH just pounding myself some horseshoes.”

“Wouldn’t a pair of loafers be more comfortable?”

“No no no, Tim. These are shoes I toss. Look at this. Perfect weight. Perfect balance. Aerodynamically correct.”

“Oh. OWWW!“

"And very VERY hot" — *“And very VERY hot”*

"Oh how I love this game. What it is, is ALL in the wrist" — *“Oh how I love this game. What it is, is ALL in the wrist”*

“Make your best pitch, Timmy.”

“I got this old friend in town, and I always think we’re going to have a lot of fun, but instead we always talk about all the fun we used to have.”

“Well there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing, Tim.”

“But he thinks I’m the same guy I was 15 years ago.”

“Mmm hmm, mmm hmm, mmm hmm.”

"And I try to be that guy, but, I'm really not" — *“And I try to be that guy, but, I’m really not”*

“Well it sounds like he’s spending all his time looking backwards, and you’re spending yours looking forward.”

“That’s it, I can’t keep up with this guy. The THOUGHT of crushing a beer can on my head makes my butt QUIVER.”

"Well that's why I gave it up, Tim" — *“Well that’s why I gave it up, Tim”*

“I don’t know what to do about him.”

“Well it sounds to me like you’re having a hard time saying goodbye.”

"He's been one of my best friends for 15 years" — *“He’s been one of my best friends for 15 years”*

"Or was he your best friend... 15 YEARS AGO?" — *“Is he, Tim? Or was he your best friend… 15 years ago?”*

“You see Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said, When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I THOUGHT as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

"OWWWWWW-OOOOOOOOH!" — *“OWWWWWW-OOOOOOOOH!”*

“Oww-ooh.”

“Hey! Guess who I ran into down at the store? Mike FORSHAY and TINO!“

"Hey, TINO... what are those guys up to now?" — *“Oh, Tino and Forshay. What are those guys up to now?”*

“Oh they’re still a couple wild dogs. They’re going down to Club Piranha and get crazy. I told them you and I’ll meet them there.”

“I’m not going to Club Piranha.”

“But you have to go! You remember back in college the four of us stayed up 36 hours and then drove halfway to Mexico City, with the emergency brake on?”

“I’m not going out tonight. Stu, I thought we were gonna stay here. You know, watch TV, the video, chili with the kids.”

“Oh right, the family thing… NO PROBLEM. I’ll call Tino and Forshay, they can get a keg of beer and come OVER HERE!“

"This is TINO and FORSHAY. It'll be like old times" — *“Hey this is TINO and FORSHAY. It’ll be like old times”*

“Tell you what, why don’t you go down to Club Piranha, you hang out with those guys.”

"Without you? COME ON, it won't be the SAME!" — *“Without you? **COME ON, it won’t be the SAME!**“*

"Stu, I don't think it IS the same" — *“Stu, I don’t think it IS the same”*

"Dad, dinner will be ready, can I turn on the video?" — *“Dad, dinner will be ready, can I turn on the video?”*

“Not now.”

“OK.”

"What are you watching?" "Sound of Music..." — *“What are you watching?” “Sound of Music…”*

“… Sound of Music. Maybe I will go down and meet Forshay and Tino. Would I be a real jerk if I skipped dinner and kind of headed out?”

“No, not at all, skip.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint Jill.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be rough but I’ll be able to smooth it out.”

"Oh how lovely, we'll have dinner music" — *“Oh how lovely, we’ll have dinner music”*

"Come on Uncle Stu, sit by us!" — *“Come on Uncle Stu, sit by us!”*

“Well buddies, heh, I gotta be heading out.”

“Jill, I know this is going to be a tremendous disappointment to all of you. Stu can’t stay for dinner or the movie.”

“I ran into some old buddies. We’re just gonna go out, have some uh, coffee, and talk.”

“Bye Jill.”

“Goodbye, it was nice to see you.”

“Good to see you too.”

"You be good, huh?" "Yeah! Bye Uncle Stu!" — *“You be good, huh?” “Yeah! Bye Uncle Stu!”*

"If you, Tino and Forshay get crazy, call a cab alright?" — *“If you, Tino and Forshay get crazy, call a cab alright?”*

“Always do… hey, next time I’m in town, I’ll give you a little more warning when I call.”

"We'll still get together, hang out, HAVE SOME LAUGHS" — *“We’ll still get together, hang out, HAVE SOME LAUGHS”*

"... Just like the old days eh" — *“… Just like the old days eh”*

"Just like the good old days!" — *“Just like the good old days!”*

"Hey, tell you what, keep the beer" — *“Hey, tell you what, keep the beer”*

“Go ahead.”

“C’mon.”

“See ya.”

"OK dad, the movie's ready" — *“OK dad, the movie’s ready”*

“OK, alright, everybody can see?”

“Yep!”

“Wait, I’ll need my box of tissues.”

"This isn't Sound of Music, this is... Bayonet Hell!" — *“This isn’t Sound of Music — this is… Bayonet Hell!”*

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" — *“YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!”*

“Last time we showed you how to install an aluminum storm window on an existing wooden frame. Today, we hung a storm door on an existing wood frame.”

“Now, the important thing about putting a door in is hanging it, cause if it’s not hung well, then you got a problem. Right Al?”

"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, TIM" — ***“SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, TIM”***

“When installing a door, you gotta make it fit exactly like it’s supposed to. So make sure your hinge is aligned with the king stud.”

"WELL THANK YOU TIM" — *“WELL THANK YOU TIM”*

“It’s also very important to remember that doors often change with age. The older a door gets, the more warped it becomes.”

"And sometimes we forget... things change with age..." — *“And sometimes we forget… things change with age…”*

“SO, remember, check those doors, as they may not fit like you remember.”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I was only a kid when I first saw this episode. It wasn’t until years later, in my 20’s, that I realized what a poignant and powerful episode this is. We’ve all been there at some point. We had a best friend from long ago that we kind of lost touch with over the years. Then, one day seemingly out of the blue, circumstances bring our lives back together again. Sometimes it’s a natural seamless transition. We carry on as if we never left. But other times, the past is all we have in common, and we carry on without that person ever entering our lives again. You never know which way it swings. Personally, I’ve had both. Thankfully, my childhood best friend, Nelson, and I still keep in touch today. We don’t talk like we once used to, but the thing about our friendship is we can go months without contact but as soon as we do, it’s like we never left. Those friendships are the best. So, remember, change is constant. Sometimes it seems to happen slowly. Other times, it comes in crashing waves. And that things and people definitely do change with age. Like Tim did, the important thing to keep in mind is knowing who you really are today.