Steve | RVGFanatic

King of Dragons (SNES)

**Pub: Capcom | Dev: Prism Kikaku | April 1994 | 16 MEGS**

In 1991, Capcom released two medieval-related beat ‘em ups. One was called Knights of the Round and the other, King of Dragons. Interestingly enough, Capcom released both games on the SNES some three years later in 1994 and in the same month no less. It was a bit unusual to see such late conversions — usually ports were handled within two years if not one — but boy am I glad that didn’t stop Capcom. While naturally there were quite a few sacrifices made, namely going from three player co-op to two, reduced sprite size and less enemies on screen, back in the ’90s these home ports were the best we could do at the time and we always made the most out of it. Some conversions were handled better than others, and thankfully, King of Dragons can be considered as a fairly faithful translation of its 1991 original. So if you’re into fantasy beasts (such as Wyverns, Cyclops and Minotaurs) and you enjoy medieval warfare with a decidedly Dungeons & Dragons fare, then you’ll find yourself right at home.

Just a shame Capcom didn't use this box art instead... — Just a shame Capcom didn’t use this box art instead

THE STORY GOES…

Not exactly the most riveting or original plot, but hey, who plays beat ‘em ups for their storyline? I sure as hell don’t! Give me a big sword, some nasty bad guys to kill and watch me grin from ear to ear as I wipe the floor with the lot of them!

THE WARRIORS

One of the best features about King of Dragons is the five different characters you can select from. Very few SNES beat ‘em ups gave you five choices. Most offer the standard three and four was considered to be great. But you get five here. Best of all, they all play differently and not just in a few categories. They all have their pros and cons in terms of attack range, magic power, defense, speed and so on. Three of them can even block enemy attacks. There’s a lot more strategy found here than in most other beat ‘em ups. It also makes the 2 player mode all that more interesting because you can strategically pair up an Elf with a Fighter for instance. The Elf attacks from long range while the Fighter handles the up close encounters.

The cast of five makes for a diverse 2 player experience

It truly does as you and a friend can mix and match. I recently played this with my girlfriend and she likes being the Elf. Unfortunately, continues are shared in the 2 player mode. Bummer. (But there is a 99 continue code floating out there…)

A MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS

Credit Nintendo Power Magazine (issue #60, May 1994) for their excellent coverage above. I miss when gaming magazines were so lovingly crafted and fun to read.

AND LESS IN-DEPTH…

Credit Super Play Magazine (issue #20, June 1994) for their more humorous coverage above. They always had that cheeky sense of humor, them silly Super Play lads.

THE GAME

Level up just like in Knights of the Round — Level up just like in *Knights of the Round*

This increases your strength and defense. Most beat ‘em ups don’t allow for your character to level up, so this is a welcomed change to the norm.

Not all treasure chests are good for you

Some spit out harmful blobs of goo but the worst is a magical spray that will freeze and quickly sap your health if touched. Stay on your toes!

Assign a button to blocking to make your life easier — Blocking can be a lifesaver

The arcade version didn’t have a button for blocking, but the SNES version allows you to designate a button for blocking. Nice! Remember that only the Fighter, Cleric and Dwarf can block.

The ability to push orbs forward is absolutely genius

I love that you can strategically preserve magic orbs. Sometimes instead of striking an orb right away, it’s prudent to kill the weaker enemies currently on screen and then bounce the orb to the next section, saving it for tougher enemies. Sweet.

You can bounce orbs along for a good while before they start to flash. Once flashing, better strike the orb to activate it or you’ll risk losing out.

Where's Brendan Fraser when you need him?! — Where’s Brendan Fraser when you need him?!

Mummies are slow and lumbering but they inflict tons of pain if they catch you. This is where the Wizard or Elf comes in real handy with their long distance strikes.

Skeletons are a real pain in the ass. Not only are they tough, but they’re nimble enough to cause a headache as they prance about the screen in a creepy reanimated sort of way.

Capcom busts out their classic Yashichi once more

King of Dragons is not too hard once you get the hang of the characters’ strengths and weaknesses. It’s certainly beatable but you’ll definitely want to seek out these precious extra continues hidden throughout the game.

SWEET SIXTEEN

There are 16 levels in all, but some are insanely short. One stage doesn’t even have a boss. The stages are named which I found to be a nice touch. I’m a sucker for that sort of stuff even though some are incredibly simple. “To The Castle” followed by “In The Castle” — I wonder how long it took Capcom to think of that? But a few are pretty cool such as “A Giant In The Shrine.” The game takes you on quite the journey, ranging from a spider-infested forest to boarding a Norse ship.

The Orc King attacks with two morning stars. Watch his shadow and stay in the middle. Halfway through the Minotaur fight the ground breaks, sending the two of you descending to the floor below. Nice.

Another nice thing about this game is the diversity of the bosses. Sometimes you fight giant bipedal monsters. Other times you find yourself battling winged behemoths and three headed dragons. The strong fantasy setting takes you to a completely different realm from most other beat ‘em ups. Forget ye standard thugs and goons — it’s all about mythical beasts!

Stage 5 actually has no boss. I love the Cyclops in stage 6. It’s got such a simple great look and is the first thing I think of when I think King of Dragons.

The Great D, eh? No comment... — The Great D, eh? No comment…

If you hate spiders like I do, then you’ll LOVE the giant spiders in stage 7. The creepy bastards make my skin crawl. Watch out for the Great D’s big stick…

The diversity of the boss fights continue to shine. Battle a nimble Black Knight in stage 9. Take on a circling crew of phantoms at the end of stage 10. And while the graphics aren’t great per se, you can see the diversity there as well.

Indeed. And now you know where Goldar came from. The Royal Knights are reminiscent of the Black Knight, except now there’s two of them. Lucky you.

“We must do with the time that is given to us.” Once eloquently stated by the Dark Wizard. Or Gandalf, rather. He’s a fun boss fight. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for stage 14 which sees a lazy repeat of the boss from stage 3. Sure, one is fiery while the other is ice. Still, come on now, Capcom. Then again, coming from them (the masters of milking), are you surprised?

Capcom heard our cries loud and clear. So what do we get for it? TWO Cyclops at the end of stage 15! The last boss, Gildiss, is not only the hardest boss of the game but really the one boss that will give you any trouble.

ODDS AND ENDS

As you can see, some bosses more or less repeat. Take these two dragons for instance. Fire and ice. Not so nice. But the occasional “lazy” boss is forgivable considering the overall number of levels which far exceeds that of most other beat ‘em ups from the ’90s. So I can give Capcom a pass here.

The Dragon Rider boss from stage 8 becomes a recurring regular enemy later on. He’s thankfully not as strong as his boss form, though. It’s a shame you can’t knock the rider off and ride the dragon yourself. A wasted opportunity for sure.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

For the most part, King of Dragons fared reasonably well with the critics. EGM gave it scores of 8, 8, 7 and 7. GameFan gave it ratings of 78, 74 and 70%. Super Play was (once again) the harshest critic, rating it a paltry 53%. Super Play was notoriously stringent on beat ‘em ups, so I don’t take their scores for such games too seriously. Most people who have played the SNES port has raved about it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Prior to playing King of Dragons, I had heard lots of great things about it. It looked similar to Knights of the Round and coming from Capcom, I was sure to have a good time. Admittedly, I was a bit disappointed the first time I played it. I guess I had overhyped it too much based on everything I heard and read over the years. However, with repeated play I was able to then familiarize myself with the various characters and game mechanics. That’s when the light bulb came on and I began to appreciate all the subtle nuances. It impressed me with how varied it is for a beat ‘em up. Typically, these sort of games tend to grow repetitive pretty fast, but I find King of Dragons does a really good job of keeping repetition at bay. The five characters have different pros and cons across the board, making it fun to experiment with and forces you to employ different strategies. The bosses also have vastly different tactics and you must adjust for each one accordingly. The game doesn’t just throw you meathead after meathead where all you do is mash the attack button. And one of the best things about this game is the fact that sometimes there can be as many as five enemies on screen. The usual SNES count for these games is three, but King of Dragons will occasionally throw five at you. It’s impressive and makes you feel like other SNES beat ‘em ups are a bit lacking in the action department by comparison.

The visuals are pretty good although animation can be a bit stiff at times. Bosses look great — they’re often huge and menacing. Sound effects are pretty bad though, and the music isn’t anything to write home about. The gameplay (and atmosphere) is where King of Dragons excels. From the ability to block (for some of our heroes anyhow) to being able to level up, this has more variety and depth than most other beat ‘em ups. One thing that I had to get over early on was I thought this would be more of a beat ‘em up. By that I mean pounding bad guys in the face consecutively and then even throwing their carcasses around. It’s not like that so if you’re expecting that, you may be a bit disappointed (at least initially, like I was). You hack them once, then you move out of the way. Then you hack them again until they’re dead. There are no combos. No throws. No weapons to pick up (not necessary since they all already have weapons). It’s more of a hit and run affair, if that makes sense.

It’s a bit hard to describe but if you’ve played this game then you know what I mean. For example, some enemies die after one slash. Some die after two. And so forth. Whoever heard of one punch killing a bad guy? So the action is more measured and calculated than in most other beat ‘em ups, but I think in this case it works really well. There is some slowdown in the 2 player mode so it’s far from perfect. But overall, as far as the genre goes, this is easily one of the better beat ‘em ups on the Super Nintendo. It’s like a mix of Golden Axe and Knights of the Round. So if the idea of killing some Orcs, Minotaurs and Cyclops puts a big smile on your face, be sure to check out King of Dragons. And if you don’t quite “get it” on your very first try, I encourage you to stick with it and sample the different characters. Chances are you’ll hit your stride at some point and come to see why this is one of the best SNES beat ‘em ups ever made.

Graphics: 7
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.0
Silver Award

Undercover Cops (SFC)

Such wasted potential... — Such wasted potential…

Beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade scene in the early ’90s. Irem released Undercover Cops in 1992. They then went to work on a Super Nintendo version but that was sadly canned. However, Varie (you might remember that name from my previous review of the Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling trilogy) picked it up and released a Super Famicom only version in March of 1995. I was beyond thrilled to discover this fact upon my SNES resurrection in early 2006. I always wanted to play Undercover Cops on my SNES. Thanks to Varie, I now could. Unfortunately, the port falls a little flat with me. I couldn’t help but feel it was a little lacking. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind a bit by jumping 25 years into the future…

THE YEAR IS 2043

Council: “Everyone, the peace of our town is at its worst condition ever.”
Mayor: “I have a suggestion. Let the City Sweepers clean up the villains!”
Council: “Of course, Mayor. Violence begets violence! Let’s do it!”

Collectively, this fearsome unit is known as…

Individually, they’re known as, well, let’s go down the line.

Zan Takahara hails from Japan. He is the balanced fighter of the group.

Zan's super special move — Zan’s super special move

Matt Gables is your good old American football player turned City Sweeper slash Undercover Cop. Notice his birthday — July 4, 2018 — as of this writing he’s almost about to be born. Surprise surprise, he’s the slowest but also the strongest of the trio.

Matt's special move — Matt’s special move

Matt's super special move — Matt’s super special move

Rosa Felmonde hasn’t even been conceived yet! Hailing from England, Rosa is the token quick but weak female fighter of the group.

Rosa's special move — Rosa’s special move

Rosa's super special move — Rosa’s super special move

SOAP? WHO NEEDS SOAP?!

"MY BOX -- MINE!!" — ***“MY BOX — MINE!!”***

The first thing I noticed about Undercover Cops is how dirty the game looks. I don’t mean that in a bad way; I actually like that it’s so gritty and grimy. It gives the game a rather grim and bleak atmosphere. So many SNES games are full of bright and bold colors. Not here and that’s a welcome change. I almost feel like I have to take a shower after playing this game.

Battle your way through rundown abandoned buildings, grimy festering docks and inauspicious underground tunnels to name but a few. Everything is in a deep state of decay. The enemies mostly consist of subhuman creatures. A wretched decrepit flock of sideshow freaks. You can bet they haven’t bathed in months (if not years). Even the good guys appear unpleasant and a bit dour.

Under the crows -- surprise! — Under the crows — surprise!

Little details, as seen above, add to the fun of the game (it’s a shame then that the best stuff occurs early on). Crows fly off revealing in its wake two filthy bastards who soon rise like zombies. Send ‘em back to the hell hole they came from!

WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

Hey, it's high in protein y'know — Hey, it’s high in protein y’know

To replenish your health, most beat ‘em ups have you consuming burgers, drinks and assorted meat. But not in Undercover Cops. So what does one eat? Mice, chicken, even snails! Gobble them up before they can scamper (or crawl) away. To make matters even more unsettling, the cops voice their pleasure whenever eating such delicacies. Zan gruffly shouts “GOOD!” and Matt screams “DELICIOUS!” Yum.

EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

While other beat ‘em ups give you knives to fling or bats to swing, Undercover Cops on the other hand walks to its own beat. For example, nothing says PAIN quite like tossing flopping fish at the opposition.

But my favorite instrument of destruction is the random concrete pillar. You can either knock it over or unearth it with your bare hands (it’s quite amusing to watch the ongoing struggle that ensues).

Love the R-Type cameo there! — Love the *R-Type* cameo there!

Naturally, Matt is able to pluck it out faster than Zan or Rosa. Matt and Zan can use the pillar the same amount of times while it breaks fastest for Rosa. Poor Rosa. She’s got a serious case of Breath of the Wild…

Dobkeratops from R-Type III — Dobkeratops from *R-Type III*

It’s always lovely to see companies throwing in clever little easter eggs that show off past franchises. I always enjoy seeing stuff like that.

The concrete pillar just might be my favorite non-projectile based weapon to use in beat ‘em up history. It’s so satisfying to knock over the deformed cretins with it.

Here we come to the first boss, Parcs. He’s hiding a nasty secret beneath that weird looking exterior. Weaken him and soon he reveals his true form.

... you can crush his ass! — … you can crush his ass!

Bonus points for a highly creative first boss encounter. I love it when beat ‘em ups let you interact with the environment so seeing this for the first time had me jumping out of my chair. It’s too bad though that the rest of the boss fights are nowhere near as creative or fiendishly fun.

The beginning of Mission 2 is my favorite part in the whole game. Kick the barrel of flames or better yet, heave it at the enemies.

Don't let that snail get away! — Don’t let that snail get away!

Upon impact the barrel will liberate a flurry of burning torches. It’s time to burn some bad guys alive! WICKED fun.

Love the enemy taunts — Enemy taunts are on fire…

The scoundrels can toss the torches as well, and if you’re knocked down, one rapscallion in particular enjoys a hearty laugh at your expense.

The second boss, Fransowors, is where I personally believe the game began to lose me. It’s such an awkward character design and hell, even the name itself is weird. I didn’t like the aesthetics of this boss encounter at all. The background is dull and drab and Fransowors is one big annoying crybaby. It’s a major disappointment coming off the brilliance of the first boss fight with Parcs.

These underground diggers are deadly when traveling in packs. They like to do the spin cycle which automatically knocks you down. Unfortunately, because you aren’t granted temporary invulnerability after being knocked down, they can and will spam attack you until your life is gone. Only then can you beat them when you’re revived and then granted that precious second or two of invincibility. I hate when games make you lose a life and there’s nothing you can do about it. To me that’s plain lazy and poor game design and programming. My experience with Undercover Cops began to really sour at this point.

I dig the flashing tunnel. Reminds me of Elevator Action Returns…

These suckers greet you with a nasty little love tap if you’re caught in their path. They can’t be killed so just steer clear as they mindlessly march on by. Sometimes it gets really crowded and it feels impossible to come out unscathed. Luckily, any damage they inflict isn’t too much. Still rather annoying, however.

The end level guardian is a monster born from malpractice. And it wants you for dinner… not as a guest but the main course attraction! Sadly, this is where the game ends if you play it on Easy. Only on Normal or Hard can you go through all 5 missions. Below are some quick shots of missions 4 and 5 (note: these screenshots will depict the original arcade version).

Mission 4 = Motorcycle Madness. The SNES port allows you to assign a button to the run command. Turn this option on to make your life a lot easier.

Mission 5 is the longest and most tedious level in the game. You fight across a seemingly endless skyship where you battle a never-ending supply of cronies and a handful of Parcs (the boss from Mission 1).

Better stop Dr. Crayborn from launching the nuke before it’s too late. You’ll get a bad ending if you fail to do so.

Finally coming toward the end, you must battle zombie versions of the team!

Where’s Rick Grimes when you need him?

Doctor, I think there’s something wrong with you…

Crayborn is taken away — Crayborn is escorted to prison

Spend the rest of your life in the slammer — *Where he’ll rot away the rest of his days*

The End, right? Not quite... — The end, right? Not quite…

In a fabulous twist... — In a fabulous twist…

ASSESSMENT DAY

Your performance is tallied up at the end of each Mission. Depending on how much money you’ve earned, you’ll regain a certain amount of health (if applicable).

DEJA VU

Matt reminds me of... — Matt reminds me of…

J. Max appeared in World Heroes 2 — *World Heroes 2* was silly fun

ARCADE COMPARISON

Obviously, there’s going to be a certain amount of sacrifices made when a company converts an arcade game into a much smaller SNES cartridge. Undercover Cops is no different. It was something you just accepted as a kid and in most cases, you were just happy to have a home port to mess around with.

LIFE AFTER CITY SWEEPING

Irem went on to make other similar post-apocalyptic arcade action games. These include:

In The Hunt (April 1993) — *In The Hunt* (April 1993)

Gun Force II (1994) — *Gun Force 2* (1994)

A lot of the team who helped made Undercover Cops later formed the Nazca Corporation. They were responsible for a very famous Neo Geo game…

Metal Slug (May 1996) — *Metal Slug* (May 1996)

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

Undercover Cops was actually set for a March 1994 release. Hell, it was even reviewed in the March 1994 issue of Nintendo Power Magazine (issue #58). Sadly, it was canned and never saw the light of day in North America. Varie picked up the publishing rights exactly one year later and released it in Japan only on March 3, 1995. The actual Super Famicom cartridge currently commands a minimum of $200 — yowzers!

Not meant to be (1993 is a typo there, should say 1994) — Not meant to be (1993 is a typo; it should say 1994)

Maybe the ugly Americanized art sealed its own fate. By God is that fugly! Should have gone with the Japanese style box art…

Now that's what I'm talking about — Now that’s what I’m talking about

Looks like the US version was fully finished and ready to go, especially if you’re going off the fact that Nintendo Power reviewed it. Not sure why it was canned except maybe Irem didn’t have faith in it moving the needle as it was a port of an arcade game two years long in the tooth and one that wasn’t a household name in North America. Whatever the case may be, it’s always sad to see promising games cancelled. I’m glad Varie picked up its publishing rights in 1995 even if the port job is a bit disappointing on Irem’s part.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Remember Spike Lee’s movie Do The Right Thing from 1989? The character Radio Raheem sported a four-fingered ring on each hand, with LOVE on the right hand and HATE on the left, to symbolize the struggle between the two emotions. That perfectly describes how I feel about Undercover Cops. I have a love-hate relationship with this game. I love that it was released at all following the US cancellation. I dig how twisted it can be at times, from eating snails to even knocking the skull off of Mission 4’s boss post fight and scarfing it down like how Joey Chestnut eats his hot dogs! I love the post-apocalyptic atmosphere. However, some of the aesthetics could use a little more work. Not having a 2 player option in 1995 is inexcusable. It reeks of laziness. I can see why it’s 1 player only, though. Even in the 1 player mode there’s a bit of occasional slowdown. I can only imagine how much worse it would be in a 2 player mode. But other companies managed to make it work, relatively speaking, so Irem should have found a way as well. I also hate that the game loses a lot of its appeal and luster by around Mission 3. I find it more repetitive than other beat ‘em ups from that era.

Not having a 2 player mode is not a deal breaker though especially if the game itself is good enough on its own. Sadly, there’s something missing. It’s definitely not a bad beat ‘em up but I can easily think of 10 more competent SNES beat ‘em ups I would much rather play. Undercover Cops is one of those games that start out real promising but quickly lose steam less than halfway through. Others have raved about this SNES version but try as I might over the 12 years I’ve owned it, I just can’t give it a ringing endorsement.

Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling Trilogy (SFC)

On September 17, 2017, we lost one of the truly great ones. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. THE heel manager of the late 1980s and early 1990s, if you were a pro wrestling fan you loved to boo Bobby Heenan. He was a once in a lifetime performer. Always entertaining, Bobby knew how to make you laugh and hate him all at the same time. When he passed last September, I wanted to convert over my old review of the Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling games. That’s because in that review, I used Bobby Heenan to call the action. But life got busy and it never happened.

Earlier today it was announced that Big Van Vader passed away on June 18, 2018. Vader was featured in the first Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling game so it’s time. It’s Vader Time!

The best wrestling manager that ever lived

One of the best big men ever. R.I.P. Vader and Bobby — *One of the best big men ever*. R.I.P. Vader and Bobby

Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling is something of a sentimental purchase for me. The reason being it was the first Super Famicom game that I bought, and what started the “obscure” Super Famicom march for me. I remember it fondly. It was an early Monday morning, March 27, 2006. 4:22 AM. Yep, I was a vampire. I sniped Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling on eBay with 3 seconds to go. Crazy times. Anyway, this is the first of Varie’s Super Famicom wrestling trilogy. It features impressive big sprites of famous wrestlers like LIGER and VADER (10 in all).

The grapple system relies on timing similar to the Fire Pro series. I was hoping it would be as good as Fire Pro. Unfortunately I think Varie spent too much time on the graphics because while they look great, the frame rate is choppy to the point where it’s just not very fun to play. This game was a huge letdown for me. The graphics are awesome, sure, but it doesn’t play very well. It’s too bad because it had a lot of potential. In terms of visuals, it actually reminds me a bit of WWF WrestleFest. Just a shame it didn’t play better.

A bittersweet experience, then. My first Super Famicom purchase so I’ll always remember it. But as a game itself? Not all that great. Varie followed this up with a sequel. Let’s see if it’s any better.

The first game, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling: Chou Senshi in Tokyo Dome, was released on September 14, 1993. The sequel, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling ’94: Battlefield in Tokyo Dome, came out less than a year later (August 12, 1994). The sprites have been downsized and as a result the frame rate has been improved, making this sequel much more playable than its predecessor.

The roster doubled, going from 10 to a whopping 20 (including the Legion of Doom and yes, a very young pre-homicide Chris Benoit). Unfortunately, it still doesn’t quite come together.

"OHHHH WHAT A RUSHHHH!" — **“OHHHH WHAT A RUSHHHH!”**

Similar to the first game, it looks pretty good but something about the gameplay is a bit off, despite the improved frame rate. It’s a much better effort than the first one though, but it still doesn’t match the quality of a Fire Pro.

Varie would give it one last try. Might the third time be the charm?

Released on June 30, 1995, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling ’95: Tokyo Dome Battle 7 is the third and final game in the Shin Nippon trilogy (not counting the female version Stardust Suplex). Did Varie finally get it right? Well, somewhat. It’s easily the best of the trilogy but it still pales in comparison to Fire Pro. Some roster changes were made, though 20 remains the count. Say goodbye to the Great Muta and hello to the Great Sasuke. The frame rate is the best of the trilogy and the graphics were not sacrificed either. Weapons are introduced. But what really makes this game is the new FATAL FOUR WAY BATTLE ROYAL mode. It’s good fun and slightly reminiscent of Capcom’s Saturday Night Slam Masters (although that one was a Texas Tornado Bedlam rather than a true Fatal Four Way Match).

All time legends. Sadly, Vince is the only one still alive — All time legends. Vince is the only one still alive

At this time, I’ll hand the mic over to my two all-time favorite commentators: the late great Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. They’ll call the action that follows. Tonight we have a special treat for you. A blistering Fatal Four Way Battle Royal!

Introducing first… from PARTS UNKNOWN… he IS… THE MASKED MAULER… THE MONARCH OF THE MAT… THE MINISTER OF MENACE… THE GREAT SASUKE!!!

And introducing, from Michigan, Scott Steiner.

[The f*ck! -Scott Steiner]

Damn that was cold -Rick Steiner — *Damn that was cold* -Rick Steiner

And THEIR OPPONENTS… first he hails from THE COSMOS… he IS… the SUBMISSION SPECIALIST… the SADISTIC SAVAGE… the SANGUINARY SOLDIER… JUSHIN “THUNDER” LIGER!!!

And finally, he resides from Bay City, Michigan… Rick Steiner.

[HEY! What gives? -Rick Steiner]

Bobby: You know Monsoon, the Steiners are brothers.
Gorilla: Give me a break!
Bobby: I hate all four of these guys. I hope they all cripple each other.
Gorilla: Will you stop! How do you sleep at night?
Bobby: Oh, on my side, usually…
Gorilla: You need professional help.
Bobby: What?! Just answering your question! Sometimes I sleep on my stomach though…
Gorilla: WHAT A PIECE OF WORK YOU ARE!

Gorilla: [ignoring the Brain] Ladies and gentlemen, history will be made here tonight. Capacity crowd, jam packed to the rafters, the electricity is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
Bobby: I have to give the edge here to Liger, much as I can’t stand his guts, Monsoon. He’s the quickest.
Gorilla: Rick Steiner might be at a distinct disadvantage here because he’s the most lethargic of the four.
Bobby: And he’s slow too!

Gorilla: WHAT A PEARL HARBOR JOB!
Bobby: I told you Monsoon! Sasuke was my guy all along!
Gorilla: Will you be serious? The guys with the white coat and the net are going to be looking for you.
Bobby: I rather not see your family again.

Gorilla: The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
Bobby: So much for that theory.

Gorilla: Sasuke is really stretching out those lateral collateral ligaments in the knee.
Bobby: IN ENGLISH PLEASE!

Gorilla: Ouch! That’s excedrin headache number 2,182. Makes me glad I retired.
Bobby: [Mocking Gorilla] There’s one to the cervial dervial part of the neck!
Gorilla: Oh will you stop!

Gorilla: Sasuke just pinned and eliminated Rick Steiner! We now have a triple threat match! It’s pandemonium!
Bobby: I told you Monsoon, he was just too slow for this type of match.
Gorilla: [Mockingly] And lethargic too, right?
Bobby: Yeah, that too.

Gorilla: Good night nurse!
Bobby: Not if she spent it with you!
Gorilla: Grow up, Brain.
Bobby: Hey Monsoon, you know why the Great Sasuke wears a mask?
Gorilla: No, why?
Bobby: Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Gorilla: Will you please!

Gorilla: Sasuke has taken over the match! The arena is deafening!
Bobby: Get that Benjamin ready for me, Monsoon!
Gorilla: Will you stop! What kind of broadcast journalist are you?
Bobby: The kind that takes cash only!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Tokyo Dome Battle 7 isn’t a shabby wrestling game, but it’s not as good as the Fire Pro or Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling titles. But to Varie’s credit, Tokyo Dome Battle 7 is the most refined of the trilogy. The added Battle Royal mode is chaotic and a good amount of fun. If you’re a diehard wrestling fan and you have to have one from this Varie trilogy, make it Tokyo Dome Battle 7. It pretty much renders the two previous entries useless unless you’re a collector or the type who enjoys seeing the ‘evolution’ of a series.

My Shin Nippon and Zen Nippon Wrestling collection — My *Shin Nippon* and *Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling* collection

It’s pretty obvious why all these games stayed in Japan, although Natsume Championship Wrestling (a variation of the Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling games) did make its way to North America in the summer of 1994.

Pouring one out for all these guys and gals plus all the others we’ve lost in the past couple years since this great music video was released. Thanks for the memories, y’all.

Sandra no Daibouken (SFC)

Sandra no Daibouken, or Xandra no Daibōken: Valkyrie to no Deai to give it its more proper Japanese title, or Whirlo in Europe, goes by many names. Whatever you call it, it’s one tough son of a gun. Translated as Xandra’s Great Adventure: Encounter with the Valkyrie, this is a rock hard action platformer that will test the mettle of even the most skilled gamer. As such, it’s not for everyone. Patience and persistence is the order of the day here. Although it never came to North America, it was released also in Europe as Whirlo in 1992. Super Play Magazine was very high on it, ranking it #86 on their Top 100 SNES Games list. They rated it 85%. I’m a huge fan of Super Play as readers may remember, and I’ll let them take the reigns on this one. The following review comes courtesy of Super Play.

The box art for the rare PAL European version

What a North American version might look like

Nice poster! Great job there, Greg Martin

SUPER PLAY’S WHIRLO REVIEW

What initially looks like a rather poor Wonder Boy clone actually turns out to be a top-notch arcade adventure, enlivened by some very versatile controls. These take getting used to, but once learnt prove to be extremely rewarding — if a bit frustrating at times.

Pitchfork in hand, no one’s eating this blob of jelly.

Graphically, Sandra is a mixed affair, with both lovely and rather drab bits. The main sprite has consistent appeal though, and the way he can jump and land on top of baddies with his pitchfork is a joy — and a lot less disturbing than it sounds!

The gameplay is as patchy as the background graphics, however — at some points it’s simply great fun, while other bits are a real pain.

Throughout it all the generally melancholy tunes add tons to the game, even if they do get slightly repetitive. Indeed, the whole feel of the game is tear jerkingly sad — not just the music but also the general atmosphere and the plot (our hero has to collect various special herbs to help cure his dying son).

Passwords are given at regular points but it’ll still take you a fair while to find the herbs, due to the fiendishly designed levels. A real discovery, then, and a game that offers the player a lot more than it first appears. Things get better and more complicated as you progress (indeed, it’s fiendishly difficult in certain sections). You can almost feel the boy’s life draining away as you struggle with a particularly tricky section.

Occasionally, a bit of Japanese text crops up but don’t let that turn you off — understanding it all is not crucial to gameplay. This is likely to remain an obscure game in the UK, though we expect something of a cult following around it — great fun! -Jason Brookes

Graphics: 84%
Sound: 89%
Gameplay: 82%
Gamelife: 91%

Overall: 88%

Verdict: A wonderfully versatile and highly unusual game that, as a slightly bizarre trip into Japanese eccentricity and mysticism, is hard to beat. Despite some infuriating sections, this is highly recommended, especially to hardcore gamers. One thing is for certain — no one will finish this in a hurry.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Usually I am in concurrence with Super Play when it comes to their game opinions (minus most beat ‘em ups as they were simply too harsh on that particular genre), but this is the rare case where I disagree a bit. Admittedly, Sandra no Daibouken is one of those games I still need to further explore but quite frankly, in the time I spent with it I found it simply not all that fun. My main issue is that the control could use some work, which I feel accounts partially for why it is so difficult. I don’t mind a tough fair challenge so long as the control is tight and fluid. I didn’t feel it was for Sandra no Daibouken.

On the bright side, there is a simplicity to the game that can be rather appealing. There are zero power-ups — everything you need to succeed you start the game off with. There’s also a wide variety of jumps you can perform. The game plot is intriguing as well; most SNES games didn’t have such a dark plot. I liked the idea of having to cure my dying son rather than the typical damsel in distress or save the world plot that has been beaten to death. Of course, storyline isn’t why I play platformers but in this case, it paints a somber mood for Sandra no Daibouken (in addition to the music and somewhat bleak visuals) that lend to a dreary atmosphere ideal to play on a late darkening afternoon.

There is a solid game here for sure, but I’m not sure I’d give it an 88% like Super Play did. That said, it’s definitely one of those games I’d like to replay more in-depth at some point. But for now I can’t personally vouch for this game in the way that Super Play did. As always, your mileage may vary so try it out for yourself (and leave a comment below if you’re so inclined). Tough old school 16-bit platformers your thing? Then Sandra no Daibouken might be right up your alley.

Super Mad Champ (SFC)

"Oops... MY BAD!" [Who are you, Draymond Green?! -Ed.] — ***“Oops, MY BAD!”*** *[Who are you, Draymond Green?! -Ed.]*

Super Mad Champ is a motorcycle racing game with a dash of Road Rash, and then some. It’s a rather obscure game that I managed to acquire back in 2006 (the year I bought and originally wrote about many of these obscure Super Famicom imports). It’s not anything special but it does have a few features that are memorable and make it fun to dabble with here and there.

THE MAD CHAMPS

You get to pick from one of five thrill seekers. They’re a typical bunch but sometimes I wouldn’t have it any other way.

1. Good looking hero

2. Token female

3. The “cool” rebel

4. The “tough” guy

5. The punk

You earn more money with each race won as well as the number of opponents you knock off their bikes. You can use the money to buy a new bike (of which there are 12). You can tune them up as well. But don’t be fooled that this is some sort of sim-heavy racer. It’s an arcade-like racer through and through.

GAME MODES

Two modes exist.

1. Grand Prix (3 cups with a password system)

2. Time Attack

Total of 18 tracks. Unfortunately, it is one player only.

TRICKS AND TRAPS

Press down to pop a wheelie. Try popping one right as you land after a big jump. If not, you’ll lose some momentum after landing. Every precious nanosecond counts!

During take offs, the computer is smart to always pops a wheelie as to not lose momentum upon landing.

Sometimes there’s a dip in the road. Other times a platform lays in the way. React accordingly to these obstacles and hazards.

DASH OF ROAD RASH

Fend off the competition with a well placed kick. Press the left shoulder button to kick to the left side, and the right shoulder button to extend the right leg. Two hits will do the trick.

SCROLL PLAYING GAMES

Scrolling is often what makes or breaks a game of this nature. In this case, I feared the worst coming from a smaller company, Givro (who developed the terrible Sega Genesis brawler Fighting Masters and most notably E.V.O.: The Search for Eden). I was therefore pleasantly surprised by how well Super Mad Champ scrolls. The lack of slowdown is a major plus as well. Not a bad job where many others have failed. The little details are pretty cool too, like the blades of grass that kick up when you powerslide on them.

TRACK VARIETY

Track variety is another important component of what makes a quality racing game, and Super Mad Champ has their bases fairly covered. There’s a decent amount of variety as you can see.

SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST

Up to this point you might be thinking “OK, it’s got some Road Rash I’ll grant you that. But I don’t see anything worth writing home about.” And my response… well, let me just show you some key pictures…

I thought that at first too... — I thought that at first too…

Whenever you get off your bike, whether by choice or force, this guy appears ready to fight. Both players have an energy bar and can block. It’s no Street Fighter II of course but it’s a fun novelty. You can only punch and jump kick, but this basic style works for this sort of game. Wait, actually, there is one more move you can do…

"Quit running and fight, ya bum!" — *“Get back and fight, ya bum!”*

"Damn me and my big mouth" — *“Damn my big mouth…”*

"Nice ride. Think I'll take it!" — *“Nice ride. Think I’ll take it!”*

"Let's do lunch some time!" — *“Let’s do lunch some time!”*

Yup, you can even steal the opposition’s motorcycle. Brilliant.

Few things are better than throwing bikes around. Just keep in mind that they too have an energy bar. The lower a motorcycle’s energy, the less velocity it can travel at. And should its health ever reach zero, well, KABOOM!

FIGHT CLUB

Looking for an easy way to upgrade your ride? Here’s my simple hijacking guide. Step 1: Come to a full stop, get off and wait.

Step 2: Give the next rider a good fist sandwich and then say hello to your new ride. Bada bing, bada boom.

ROAD KILL

Ran over while standing... — Ran over while standing…

... or laying OUCH! — … or laying. OUCH!

Ruin someone's day... — Ruin someone’s day…

Timed right, you can even knock off passing riders.

STREET FIGHTER II ROOTS

Somewhere right now... — Somewhere right now…

... Guile's rolling in his grave! — … Guile’s rolling in his grave!

No fancy Hadoken motions here. Those moves above merely cap off punch combos (rapidly pressing Y). When you’re off your bike you have two options: fight or flight. You have to weigh your pros and cons. Fight too long and you’ll never get back in the race. If you don’t finish #1 or #2 (out of 5) you have to repeat the course. So it’s advisable to fight temptation. But should you engage in the occasional scuffle, make it quick and go. But if you just want to fool around? It’s fun to finish ‘em off.

KUNIO-KUN!

The only other piece of info on the web I could find on this game (back in late 2006) states the following:

For those who are fans of the Kunio-kun series like I am, might be aware that at some point Technos planned on releasing Kunio Bike Racing game using the same engine from Kunio-tachi no Banka. What few people may know however, was that Kunio-tachi no Banka was actually developed by outside company called Almanic. Almanic was comprised of former Technos staff members, including Kunio-kun and Double Dragon director and producer, Yoshihisa Kishimoto. Almanic did a bunch of other stuff, but their best known work was Wonder Project J and its N64 sequel.

Anyway, Almanic was contracted by Technos to do Kunio-tachi no Banka (the true sequel to the very first Kunio-kun game), in addition to the bike racing game. While Technos ditched the bike racing, Almanic decided to released it anyway through another company and thus, it became Super Mad Champ (without Kunio’s presence in the game).

Mad Champ, as mentioned earlier, was developed on the Kunio-tachi no Banka-engine, meaning that both games, share a similar look. As a matter of fact, you can even get off your bike and fight against a rival biker (and steal his bike while you’re at it). The rest of the game plays like a typical bike racing simulator, in which you race in three different types of grand prix and customize your bike (and buy a new one when you can). It’s quite a fun little game.

Credit “Johnny Undaunted” (3/26/04)

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Super Mad Champ (gotta love its campy title) was one of those obscure oddities I couldn’t wait to play back in 2006. I wondered if it was obscure because it was so bad or if maybe it was some sort of hidden gem. Turns out it’s neither but somewhere in the middle. The racing, being the meat of the game, is solid enough and the extracurricular activities make it that much more fun and memorable. It’s not going to light your world on fire but when you’re in the mood for an arcade-like racer on your SNES with a little silliness and black humor thrown in the mix, Super Mad Champ gets the job done. All in all, a fun little quirky racing game it is.

Jungle no Ouja Tarzan (SFC)

There's weird and then there's Jungle no Ouja Tarzan — There’s *weird* and then there’s *Jungle no Ouja Tarzan*

I’ve played a lot of obscure Super Famicom games over the past 12 years. Some of them have been, shall we say, a tad queer. One of the weirdest games I’ve ever played is Jungle no Ouja Tarzan. Oh man. What can I say about this one. There are games we play and forget. And then there are games so bizarre that they stick in your crawl. They may not necessarily be great, but you remember them for their staunch peculiarity. While Jungle no Ouja Tarzan is a platformer (something the SNES has way too much of), it’s memorable if nothing else. Why? Let’s take a closer look…

Like so many Super Famicom games from the early-mid ’90s, Jungle no Ouja Tarzan is based off a Japanese anime. Watch that intro to set the mood. Things are about to go from weird to weirder…

Ah, it's a good day for a run — Ah, it’s a good day for a run

"EAT MY SMELLY JUNGLE FOOT!" — ***“EAT MY SMELLY JUNGLE FOOT!”***

Peace and tranquility doesn’t last for long however; it wouldn’t be much of a game if it did, eh? Pretty soon you come across rifle-toting poachers, and it’s your job to save your animal friends.

Unleash your inner Simba — Channel your inner Simba

Angry that his jungle has been invaded, Tarzan unleashes all his might. This offensive technique is his most potent.

Catch some air with the aid of your primate pals.

Punch the rock and it’ll slide over, taking out Mr. Poacher Foot Soldier.

"What, a 2 for 1 sale at Macys!" — *“What, a 2 for 1 sale at Macys?!”*

Tarzan is no rocket scientist but even he knows that a herd of animals running in the opposite direction is a bad sign. Whatever’s chasing them off has to be a serious threat. So what does he do? Why, strike a silly pose of course!

So that's why they ran off... — So that’s why they ran off…

It's completely bonkers — It’s completely bonkers

Next up Tarzan finds himself in China. Why? Because. He’s good at hanging on ledges, the chap.

Certain blocks are breakable but beware of the occasional spike pit lurking below. Press either shoulder button to scroll the screen up or down in order to spot potential hazards. It’s always nice when a platformer affords you such a luxury.

The trick is to stand still — the fireball goes past you harmlessly if you do. Why this is, who in the heck knows. So walk a little bit, pause and repeat until you get yourself in striking distance.

These cramped areas cause extra grief for Tarzan as it eliminates his jump kick but no matter. You just have to exercise a bit more caution.

Certain parts unbreakable... — Certain parts are unbreakable…

"TIGER UPPERCUT!" — **“TIGER UPPERCUT!”**

This attack can be aimed downward, straight ahead or vertically.

Brrrr! To keep warm, do the Running Man. Duh.

You gotta love how a rope is conveniently placed there. Don’t the bad guys check these levels first? Then again, it’s no worse than leaving meat in a barrel I suppose. Yup, you can take the boy out of the jungle but you can’t take the jungle out of the boy.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Jungle no Ouja Tarzan is just your standard semi-competent but not excellent platformer. Its main appeal is the protagonist and the strange lands he finds himself in. So while it may play like a glut of many other SNES platformers I could name, at least it’s one that leaves a lasting impression. Later in the game you’ll find yourself in places such as Las Vegas and even a haunted castle. While it’s enjoyable to some degree and has a bit of wacky charm to it, what hampers it is Tarzan’s mobility, or lack thereof. He’s not, shall we say, the fleetest of foot. Navigating him can be a little annoying at times thanks to the slight hitch in his get-along. His jumping ability is pretty lacking as well.

Other than that, it’s about a 5.5 to 6.5 out of 10 game, depending on your level of tolerance for these less-than-stellar me-too platformers. It’s decent and made more interesting thanks to Tarzan. It’s definitely a notch or two below Go Go Ackman and Ghost Sweeper Mikami. And those games, mind, are several notches below DoReMi Fantasy (which I view as Super Famicom’s best platformer).

Still, Jungle no Ouja Tarzan is worth a look especially for the diehard SNES fan who enjoys his or her platformers. It’s something of a guilty pleasure, for sure.

Of Mastodons and Men

Ahhh -- childhood summer memories — I get by with a little help from my friends…

The Wonder Years. Sometimes dramatic… sometimes hilarious… always able to strike just the right emotional chord. Growing up, I loved The Wonder Years. I still do in fact; it’s my favorite TV show of all time. Launched in January of 1988, the show took its audience on a magical tour of suburban life in America in the late 1960s, viewed through the lens of teenager Kevin Arnold (played by Fred Savage). The first person narrative (voiced by Daniel Stern) enabled us to see the world through the eyes of young Kevin Arnold, who was coming of age in an age of turbulence and perpetual change. Like so many who watched the show, I was able to easily identify with Kevin — he was the prototypical everyday teenager. On a personal side note, the best compliment I’ve ever received in regards to my writing is that it evokes nostalgic memories of the infamous voice-over but I digress.

Last month saw the 25th anniversary of the final Wonder Years episode, Independence Day, which aired on May 12, 1993. It’s hard to believe it’s been 25 years since The Wonder Years went off the air, so continuing in the tradition of A Very Cutlip Christmas, I figure now is the perfect time to share yet another one of my favorite episodes from this seminal series.

This is a story of roots.

A story of relationships.

And a story of knowing yourself.

It’s a story…

OF MASTODONS AND MEN

"Primitive man. Warrior. Hunter. Tool maker." — *“Primitive man. Warrior. Hunter. Tool maker.”*

"Slayer of mastodons." — *“Slayer of mastodons.”*

"Armed with only his instincts and a spear... he roamed the earth in tribes." — *“Armed with only his instincts and a spear…*
*he roamed the earth in tribes.”*

In a lot of ways, high school boys are a lot like primitive man.

They foraged for their food — They forage for their food

They fashioned cruel tools — They fashion cruel tools

In fact, about the only difference between my clan and neanderthal man was…

*ahem* "Any questions?" — *ahem* “Any questions?”

“Hey, you guys wanna shoot some hoops after school?”

“Oh yeah, count me in.”

“Hey Kev, you playing?”

“Sure.”

The tribe. That year we were inseparable. We faced all the challenges.

“KEVIN!”

"Uh, look guys, I'm gonna hafta take a raincheck, k?" — *“Uh, look guys, I’m gonna hafta take a raincheck…”*

Julie Aidem. We been going out for 2 weeks. And to put it mildly…

"Carry my books?" "Sure." "You don't mind?" "Are you kidding!" — *“Carry my books?” “Sure.”*
*“You don’t mind?” “Are you kidding!”*

She appreciated the little things about me.

“You know, you have a really cute laugh.”

“Really? Hahahaha.”

She liked my laugh.

“I thought about you today, Kevin.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about you too.”

She thought about me… lots.

"I thought that you look REALLY good in stripes." "No kidding?" — *“I thought that you look REALLY good in stripes.”*
*“No kidding?”*

“Yeah, but with the collar up. You know, it really suits you.”

That was Julie. She watched over me. Took care of me. Civilized me.

"How's that?" "SO MUCH BETTER!" Let's face it. She was good for me — *“How’s that?” “SO MUCH BETTER!”*
Let’s face it. She was good for me

And if that wasn’t enough.

“Hey Julie! Hey Kevin!”

She had a great dad, too.

"How's the car coming, Mr. Aidem?" — *“How’s the car coming, Mr. Aidem?”*

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Ben?”

“… Ben.”

“Well, finally got that problem solved. Now she’s ready for a little spin.”

I admired the guy. He had hobbies, he was funny. A real man’s man.

A man who was surrounded by women... — A man who was surrounded by women…

“Honey, did I hear you say you’re going to take the sports car out for a drive?”

“Thought so, yeah.”

“You remember our agreement: You ONLY drive the sports car on the weekends.”

“Heh, I don’t know what got into me!”

“He’d be off driving it DAY and NIGHT if I let him, wouldn’t you, Ben?”

Not that Julie’s mom wasn’t every bit as fun loving as her dad.

“Hey Kevin, why don’t you stay for dinner?”

“I’d love to, June!”

She was just more... civilized — She was just more… civilized

"I mean... Mrs. Aidem." — *“I mean… Mrs. Aidem.”*

After all, like mother... — After all, like mother…

All in all, it was quite a household. Filled with doilies and laced curtains. And of course, Pupu.

“Quiet, Pupu! Quiet!”

“I don’t get it, Daddy. You’re the only one that Pupu barks at.”

“That’s because Pupu loves Daddy!”

"Oh Ben, the salad fork." — *“Oh Ben, the salad fork.”*

The Aidem family was a model of decorum. There may have been a reason for that.

The girls outnumbered the boys by a ratio of 4 to 1. 5 to 1 if you counted the pooch. — The girls outnumbered the boys by a ratio of 4 to 1.
5 to 1 if you counted the pooch.

“So Kev, who do you like for the World Series?”

“I don’t know. I think I like the Tigers, or maybe the Cubs.”

“Oakland’s gonna knock everyone else on their butts.”

“DAD-DY!”

“BEN!”

“Oh, sorry. NOT at the dinner table!”

Still, I had to admit, I liked it there. It was nice being in a civilized home — Still, I had to admit, I liked it there.
It was nice being in a civilized home

"Oh Ben, fix your collar." — *“Oh Ben, fix your collar.”*

A home where people actually said please, and used butter knives. As oppose to say…

"Milk and cookies?" "Yeah, sure" — *“Milk and cookies?” “Yeah, sure.”*

Yeah, this was the life. Catered to. Coddled. Taken care of.

"So, did you miss me?" "... You just went upstairs to get some cookies..." — *“So, did you miss me?”*
*“… You just went upstairs to get some cookies…”*

"... Well, yeah. Yeah! Of course I missed you." — *“… Well, yeah. Yeah! Of course I missed you.”*

Still, at two and a half weeks into the relationship, it was beginning to occur to me that civilization was not without its discontents.

"What are you thinking?" She asked me that a lot — *“What are you thinking?”*
She asked me that a lot

"I'm thinking... these are great cookies!" "Well tomorrow I'll make brownies." Tomorrow? *Pupu barking* — *“I’m thinking… these are great cookies!”*
*“Well tomorrow I’ll make brownies.”*
Tomorrow? *Pupu barking*

"Hello?" "Oh, daddy must be home." "Anyone down here?" "Hey Ben." "Hey Kev, how you doing? New muffler, check it out!" — *“Hello?” “Oh, daddy must be home.”*
*“Anyone down here?” “Hey Ben.”*
*“Hey Kev, how you doing? New muffler, check it out!”*

“Well that’s great, daddy….”

“… OH yeah, lemme get something outta my tool box and I’ll get out of your way.”

Hmmmm.

“Daddy! Look what you’re doing to Pupu! You’re hurting her feelings!”

“Oh, I don’t know what got into me!”

“I’ll go get her a biscuit.”

And suddenly, the thought struck me this guy might appreciate a little male bonding.

"So Ben, this is a great cell you got here." — *“So Ben, this is a great cell you got here.”*

"A few too many linens for my taste." "Oh, yeah, me too." — *“A few too many linens for my taste.”*
*“Oh, yeah, me too.”*

"She's no Duke." "Duke?" *Julie returns* "I got the biscuit! Pupu, I love you so much." — “She’s no Duke.” “Duke?” *Julie returns*
*“I got the biscuit! Pupu, I love you so much.”*

"I'll tell you about Duke some other time." — *“I’ll tell you about Duke some other time.”*

And there ya had it.

“Did you miss me?”

So much for guy talk.

“Yeah, of course I missed you.”

The next day the guys were giving me a hard time about Julie.

“Look, I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to ask anyone! I’m playing football today after school, and that’s that!”

“Yeah sure Kev, whatever you say.”

“I’ll be there!”

But there was one little problem. Leaving the bathroom, I heard it…

"KEVIN! I missed you!" — **“KEVIN! I missed you!”**

Maybe that’s when I began to realize… the undeniable truth.

Julie Aidem had me on a very short leash

"Primitive man derived his power from the tribe." — *“Primitive man derived his power from the tribe.”*

"But occasionally, one of its members betrayed the rest." — *“But occasionally, one of its members betrayed the rest.”*

"Soon, this lone hunter was set adrift from the pack." "Shunned, and ostracized." — *“Soon, this lone hunter was set adrift from the pack.*
*Shunned, and ostracized.”*

“So Paul, you wanna play some football this afternoon?”

“You got it, Chuck.”

By the next day, one thing was clear.

“Hey guys, what time you playing?”

"You guys hear something?" In my tribe, my name was Mud — *“You guys hear something?”*
In my tribe, my name was Mud

*Bell rings*

Still, I had one skill primitive man did not: I could whine.

“C’mon guys! I wanna play!”

“Look Kev, you bailed on us yesterday, and you didn’t even tell us.”

“I got tied up! It was an emergency!”

“It was JULIE, wasn’t it?”

“It was ONE time. I promise, it’ll never happen again. Please?”

And they, in turn, pronounced their verdict

"What the hell." — ***“What the hell.”***

A few hours with the guys and I remembered who I was.

Kevin Arnold: Runner. Passer. Hunter. Warrior. AND IT FELT GOOD — Kevin Arnold: Runner. Passer. Hunter. **WARRIOR.**
**AND IT FELT GOOD**

Yep, by the time I came home I was a new man.

“Hi mom.”

“Kevin, you have a visitor.”

“… H-Hi. I wasn’t expecting you. So Julie, what’s going on?”

“Oh nothing. I thought you were coming over today.”

OK, it was clear we reached a critical juncture. It was time to set ground rules, here and now.

“Julie…”

“Yes, Kevin?”

“Every once in a while, guys gotta, you know, hang out with other guys.”

And there it was. Gentle but somehow, firm.

“I guess you forgot what today is!”

“Today?”

“It’s our 3 week anniversary!”

“It is?”

“I got you a gift!”

Awww geez.

“You did?”

“Open it!”

Made you wonder if they knew how to gift wrap crow.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah! I- I love it, it’s great, it’s it’s…”

Striped.

“… striped!”

“You know Kevin, if you wanna be with the guys sometimes, I understand.”

“No, no, that’s not it. It’s just –“

"I wouldn't want you to feel like I'm smothering you." "No! Don't be ridiculous. You're not smothering me." — *“I wouldn’t want you to feel like I’m smothering you.”*
*“No! Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not smothering me.”*

"Because if you don't think we're right for each other..." "No Julie, I definitely think we're right for each other." "Oh that's what I think, Kevin!" — *“Because if you don’t think we’re right for each other…”*
*“No Julie, I definitely think we’re right for each other.”*
*“Oh that’s what I think, Kevin!”*

And right about then, something went wrong.

“So maybe it’s time we made more of a commitment.”

“Commitment?”

“Oh Kevin! This is so exciting! I can’t wait to tell everyone we’re going steady! But first we have to tell mommy and daddy at dinner.”

And suddenly, somehow, I was going steady

Not that I’d actually agreed to anything, you understand. Not technically, anyway.

Still, that night outside Julie’s house, I knew I didn’t have the courage to turn back.

"I hear there's gonna be a little announcement tonight." — *“I hear there’s gonna be a little announcement tonight.”*

Great, the whole family knew. And not only that, now we were gonna have the talk.

The father-of-the-bride speech.

About the birds.

About the bees.

"Duke loved nights like this." — *“Duke loved nights like this.”*

About… Duke?

"Was Duke your dog?" "Duke was a hell of a dog." — *“Was Duke your dog?”*
*“Duke was a hell of a dog.”*

“Duke was a black lab. Eighty pounds. He was so full of fun, and so full of spirit. He was a real man’s best friend kind of dog, you know. And Duke wasn’t afraid of anything.”

I could tell Duke was more than just a dog to this guy

“What happened to him?”

“Ran away the day I proposed to June. I still think about him you know. Every now and then, at night…

... I SWEAR, I can still hear Duke's howl..." *Long silence except for the chirping of crickets* — *… **I SWEAR, I can still hear Duke’s howl**…”*
*Long silence except for the chirping of crickets*

“BEN! Dinner!”

“… C’mon.”

That night I did my best to forestall the inevitable

“Kevin…”

“Uhh… terrific mash potatoes, Mrs. Aidem.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

But then, I suppose they don’t call it the inevitable for nothing.

“Kevin, don’t you have an announcement to make?”

At least not around the Aidem household.

“Uhhhh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I do…”

“Kevin, I think you should stand up.”

And so, it arrived. The last exit. The final whistle

“Well…”

And that’s when it happened.

"Honey, fix your collar." — *“Honey, fix your collar.”*

"I thought Pupu only barked at you Daddy!" — *“I thought Pupu only barked at you Daddy!”*

It was horrible. It was amazing. Almost as if Pupu knew I was about to join the ranks of Aidem men.

And then, from out of nowhere, I SWEAR I HEARD IT — And then, from out of nowhere, **I SWEAR I HEARD IT**

OW-OOOOOOOOH!!! It was a clarion call. And I knew what I had to do. It was now or never — ***“OW-OOOOOOOOH!!!”*** It was a clarion call.
And I knew what I had to do. **IT WAS NOW OR NEVER**

“Julie, I can’t do this. I just CAN’T! I like my collar down! And I HATE wearing striped shirts! And I don’t like cookies! And another thing, I don’t want to spend every minute with you. I like hanging out with the guys! I’m a HUNTER! And a WARRIOR!!”

"AND WHAT ABOUT THE MASTODONS?!" — ***“AND WHAT ABOUT THE MASTODONS?!”***

OK, maybe I got a little carried away about the mastodon thing, but I wasn’t just speaking for myself. I was speaking for all mankind. For Ben.

And even, for Duke, wherever he was — And even, ***for Duke***, wherever he was

“I can’t do it, Julie. We can’t go steady.”

*Aidem girls run off crying*

And then, it was over. Except for one thing "I think you better go, Kev." "... Good idea." — And then, it was over. Except for one thing
*“I think you better go, Kev.” “… Good idea.”*

"Man. Fire maker. Tool maker. Thinker of complex thoughts." — *“Man. Fire maker. Tool maker.*
*Thinker of complex thoughts.”*

"Noble. Furious. Dignified." — *“Noble. Furious. Dignified.”*

Over the next few weeks I rejoined my tribe. And in a lot of ways, I was back where I belonged.

I guess I knew there was still some unfinished business.

Between Ben and me at least.

“Hey Ben.”

“Hey Kevin. I thought that was you. You look pretty good out there.”

“Thanks. So… how’s Julie?”

“Oh she found a new guy. They’re going steady.”

“Huh, no kidding!”

“Yeah, he looks great in stripes.”

“I bet… hey! You got the car out on a Thursday huh!”

"Yeah, I thought I go a little crazy." — *“Yeah, I thought I go a little crazy.”*

And in a way, I couldn’t help thinking I had something to do with it.

"Well, it was nice seeing you again, Ben." — “Well, it was nice seeing you again, Ben.”

"Hey Kevin... one day you're gonna see." "What's that?" "It's not that bad..." — *“Hey Kevin, one day you’re gonna see.” “What’s that?”*
*“It’s not that bad…”*

"... having people who care for you, you know?" — *“… having people who care for you, you know?”*

I guess Ben understood something. Something I'd learn... in time. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." — I guess Ben understood something.
***Something I would learn… in time***.
*“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”*

But me, I was just a sixteen-year-old guy, and the way I saw it, there were still a lot of mastodons yet to be slayed.

"OW-OOOOOOOOH!!!!!" — ***“OW-OOOOOOOOH!!!!”***

JULIE AIDEM, MEET SARAH FRANKLIN

Some say high school are some of the most critical years of your life. You made friends, enemies and memories. Sometimes you even broke hearts.

Looking back at my high school yearbook I see a lot of faces that pass through the years. Some I wonder how they’re doing and what they’re up to. Others, I wonder if they ever wonder about me. And then… there’s Sarah Franklin.

December 1999.

I was a junior in high school. Coincidentally, much like Kevin Arnold, my tale happened when I too was 16.

It was a language arts class, and we were watching a great film called Smoke Signals.

It seemed like an ordinary day, a day just like any other. Little did I know, it was anything but.

So I’m sitting there enjoying the movie when I started to notice Sarah giving me funny looks. I didn’t know why exactly, but I knew something was brewing.

And surprise surprise, something was.

THE NOTE

On my way out of class that day I felt a tap. When I turned around, Sarah Franklin shoved an envelope in my hands and dashed off. It happened so fast I almost couldn’t believe it. Not wanting to involve the guys with the matter, I kept silent about it throughout lunch. When I got home I ripped the envelope open.

Whatever was inside… I knew one thing… it was more than just a party invitation.

I found a 2-page letter, printed on yellow and green paper. Here’s the gist of what it said:

Hi Steven!
I know we only see each other in English and Study Hall, but what I’m about to tell and ask you is HUGE. You see, my sister met a wonderful guy 10 months ago. They shared such a wonderful relationship and I’d never seen her any happier before than in those 10 months. Regrettably, good things never last, and his family ended up moving 10 months later. They knew a long distance relationship would never work, so they reluctantly broke up. My sister, ever since, has not been the same and as her big sis I’m looking for a great guy who is looking for a meaningful and loyal relationship. As I said, we don’t really know each other, but from what I know of you, you seem like a really great guy! It’s hard to find a good guy in this day and age who doesn’t use foul language or the like.

So… what I’m getting at is… would you like to meet my sister over lunch? If you’re looking for a great girl who will love and be loyal to you, my sister is the one. Please call me later today between 4 and 9 PM. My number is 867-5309.

-Sarah Franklin

PS- If I seem weird tomorrow in English class it will be because you know why!

THE CALL

Wow. It’s not everyday you get a letter like that! But at the time I just wasn’t looking for a relationship. So much like Kevin Arnold did, I knew what I had to do.

To this day I can still vividly remember the enthusiasm and giddiness in her voice as she picked up the phone… but I’ll also never forget how I took the wind right out of her sail in the next few seconds. It was hard. I felt bad. But I knew I had to be honest.

“WHAT ABOUT THE MASTODONS?!?!”

I didn’t quite go berserk like how Kevin Arnold did. There was no talk about being a hunter, a warrior or slaying mastodons. Instead I opted for the classic American way: a quick courteous note followed by friendly rejection.

Like Kevin, I wasn’t ready. I too was sixteen-years-old, and the way I saw it, there too were mastodons yet to be slayed.

Looking back, am I sorry about what I did? In a way, a little bit. Maybe the least I could have done was have lunch with the poor girl. But you know, when you’re 16 you do “dumb” things. Sarah Franklin figured I was different from the other guys. After what happened, she probably hated my guts.

THE AFTERMATH

Senior Grad Night. All the seniors were living it up at Disneyland. On one ride, my eyes met Sarah Franklin’s. We exchanged a nod — an unspoken pact of forgiveness. A moment that signified her younger sister was doing dandy in the game of life and that bygones would be bygones.

At least, that’s what I’d like to tell you.

But no such Wonder Years ending.

I really don’t remember what happened to Sarah Franklin. In fact, I hardly recall seeing her around my senior year. We haven’t spoken to each other since that one fateful phone call. Then again, not like we ever did before, you understand.

IN CLOSING…

We’ve all broken someone’s heart. We didn’t mean to… it just happens. Lord knows we’ve been on the other end as well.

Yup, in high school we made friends, enemies and memories. Good and bad. And every now and then there are people you wonder about, and people you wonder if they ever wonder about you. And then there are the Sarah Franklin’s of the world. You don’t really want to remember the memories of the Sarah Franklin’s…

But you do.

—

Sarah, wherever you are, I hope you and your sister are doing well. I hope both of you have found the right guy (or girl) to share life’s ups and downs with. Cheers.

Collection Q&A

Warriors fan since 1995; no bandwagon hopping here! — In front of Michael Myers’ house from *Halloween* (1978)

On the eve of the NBA Finals, which will pit the Golden State Warriors against the Cleveland Cavaliers for the fourth consecutive year, I can’t help but think back fondly to May of 2015. Not only did my Warriors secure their first Finals berth in 40 years but I also had the honor of being interviewed and having my SNES collection featured on RetroNick.com. I’ve been wanting to transfer that Q&A over to RVGFanatic in addition to updating it. The following is an updated version of that interview. This Q&A will touch on my SNES collection, my memories and the history and future of RVGFanatic.

How big is your SNES collection?

About 550.

When did you start collecting?

January 2006, so over 12 ½ years ago now.

What was the SNES scene like back then?

I was lucky the SNES bug bit me back in January of 2006. I beat a majority of the crowd by a good couple years. Back then, 75% of SNES games went for $5-$10. Only a small handful consistently commanded $30+ such as Castlevania: Dracula X, Mega Man X³ and Ninja Gaiden Trilogy just to name a few.

Consider this: the first iPhone was a year away and YouTube was barely two months old. There were no viral videos increasing the awareness and desire of a particular title. It was a golden time where you would find lots of SNES games in the wild and for cheap. It goes to show you how times have changed and how different things are today. Hagane, for instance, went from a $5 game in 2006 to $500 in 2016. Life is all about timing, and I definitely lucked out as the nostalgia bug bit me a lot earlier than it did many others.

The Final Conflict in your marriage, perhaps... — The Final Conflict in your marriage, perhaps…

Did you love the SNES prior to 2006?

I grew up on the 8-bit NES in the late ’80s, the Sega Genesis in the early ’90s and then the Super Nintendo. So it felt like one massive homecoming in 2006 when I got back into all things Super Nintendo. It was my favorite system then and it remains so now.

The late ’80s to mid ’90s was the best time to be a kid, wasn’t it?

I’m biased but I definitely think so. We were so lucky. Just growing up during the rise of arcade and console gaming was something special. Renting video games. Having Saturday morning cartoons to watch and some awesome toys to play with. I’m grateful I got to experience those wonder years as a kid.

Why is the SNES your favorite system?

Many of my best gaming memories involve the SNES, so the nostalgia factor certainly doesn’t hurt. But of course it goes beyond that. What really stands out is how deep the library is and how well the games have aged. The SNES has stood the test of time!

Speaking of the library, what are some of your favorites?

Of course you have the usual suspects…

These classics have, justifiably, been lionized. But I’ve always enjoyed championing the more obscure titles that aren’t often as recognized. Titles such as…

BS Out of Bounds Golf is a cutthroat 4-player mini golf game that was sadly never released in North America. It’s brilliant for its sabotaging opportunities and heavy dose of schadenfreude.

Demon’s Crest in my opinion is Capcom’s finest hour on the SNES not named Street Fighter. Sorry Mega Man X — you’re #2!

DoReMi Fantasy is perhaps the best platformer on the system not named Mario.

Gunman's Proof is Zelda + EarthBound + the Old West — The Wild West + *EarthBound* + *Zelda* = *Gunman’s Proof*

I could go on and on. And I pretty much did in My SNES Collection if you want an extended version of my recommendations.

Speaking of the Old West, any interesting acquisition stories to share from those early days of collecting?

Yeah... I didn't want to be that guy... — Yeah… no thanks…

Thats a nutty day I'll never forget... — That’s one crazy summer day I’ll never forget…

Hey, better safe than sorry!

Right?! It was a sign of the times. I was young, “invincible” and eager to reclaim bits and pieces of my childhood no matter the circumstances. Looking back, I wouldn’t do half the stuff I did! But that’s what makes those old collecting stories fun and memorable. It was the feeling of getting back into the fandom, having a want list in the hundreds, a wallet stuffed with dead presidents and the thrill of heading out on a crisp Saturday morning knowing you were likely coming home with at least something. It’s a feeling that, much like beating a game for the very first time, can’t be replicated.

So what prompted you to get back into the SNES in 2006?

I found myself longing for the great games of my youth during my 2005 winter break from college. In particular, I was craving platformers. The SNES had so many great ones and tons more I always wanted to play but never did. It was a chance to quell longstanding childhood curiosities and it was a shot at gaming redemption. The rest is history. See My SNES Comeback for more.

Nothing beats quelling a childhood curiosity at last!

After a dozen years of owning over 500 SNES games, have you played them all?

No, I have 150-200 left to go. Maybe by 2025!

Such a blessing to be able to play these when I want — One day I’ll finally play all these games. One day…

Your SNES passion has lasted more than most marriages! Do you feel you’ll ever burn out?

I doubt it. There may be seasons where I’m not playing it as much because life gets hectic… but I know I’ll always be a fan. Not only do I have a lot of history and memories with these games, but there are so many more I want to play one day. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’ll probably take me 20 years to fully explore my entire library. I also look forward to playing it with my future children and seeing their joy of discovering these classics for the very first time. I’m a bit sad they won’t be able to experience what it’s like to walk in a store to rent a game for the weekend but this will be the next best thing. I’ve already introduced my girlfriend to quite a few 2-player games!

That's going to be me down the road — That’ll be me down the road

What’s your crown jewel?

My complete set of 47 Super Play issues. Super Play was a UK publication (1992-1996) that some have deemed the “SNES Bible.” It’s the perfect companion piece to any SNES collection. It was hands down the best eBay win of my life, though it was not without some tension and drama! I love pulling a game off my shelf to play then afterward reading the review in Super Play to compare viewpoints. It’s all part of the fun.

So freaking glorious :) — I still flip through them randomly to this day

Any other notables in your collection?

This might sound a little weird… but bear with me. I actually really cherish my SNES shelves. Not only do they fit the game boxes perfectly, as if they were made to hold SNES boxes, but the shelves have been in my family since 1985. In a funky sort of way, it’s almost like I’m carrying on some kind of family heirloom. I just love knowing the history behind the shelves and I also think it looks sick with the SNES boxes stacked inside it.

It all began one hot August summer night back in 2014. I sat there wondering my games would look nice there... Amazingly, it was a perfect fit. Meant to be! — *It all began one hot August summer night back in 2014.*
*I sat there wondering my games would look nice there…*
*Amazingly, it happened to be a perfect fit. Meant to be!*

Uncle Jimmy preparing his wedding... December 1986! — Uncle Jimmy preparing his wedding… December 1986!

Preparing my SNES collection September 2014... Nearly 30 damn years later! — Prepping to display my SNES collection September 2014.
Nearly 30 damn years later!

It was an epic weekend that Labor Day Weekend of 14! — It was an epic weekend. See The Lost Weekend for more

It even fits my complete set of 62 Goosebumps books! — It even fits my complete set of 62 *Goosebumps* books!

RVGFanatic — why did you start it?

Back in 2007, there really wasn’t a dedicated fansite representing the Super Nintendo. Genesis fans had Sega-16 but SNES fans didn’t have much. I wanted to change that.

That and I just love sharing my two cents, or one cent... — That and I just love sharing my two cents, or one cent…

What do you hope to achieve with RVG?

I hope RVGFanatic resonates with readers in a way that takes them back to a simpler time — a time in our lives when games stood center stage during lazy weekends and idyllic summers. I hope readers enjoy my work, perhaps even learn a useless fact or two along the way, but mostly, to just be entertained on our stroll down memory lane. If my work encapsulates even just a tiny bit of that ’90s SNES magic, then mission accomplished. I also occasionally reminisce about random non-gaming items. For example, I wrote an article about R.L. Stine’s GOOSEBUMPS and the impact those books made on my generation. You never know what you’ll see but whatever it is, expect plenty of nostalgia and pictures.

Any plans for a TOP list at some point?

Ever since I got back into the Super Nintendo in early 2006, my goal has been to compile and eventually share a list of my favorite SNES games. I originally teased an October 2017 release, but the reality is, there are many more games I still want to play first before releasing such a list. But rest assured, it’ll happen one of these days. If I’m lucky, maybe 2020? We’ll see. I’ve always been a fan of top lists and look forward to the day I can finally share mine.

I didnt make it but one of these days... — Sorry, Arnold. I didn’t make it. But one of these days…

Looking forward to it! Any final words?

I appreciate all the love and compliments I’ve received over the years. It means a lot to me that others enjoy my work. Thanks for your support. I look forward to creating more SNES content this summer and in the years to come. Until next time, game on!

June edit: Warriors swept the Cavs! GO DUBS! :D — June edit: Warriors swept the Cavs!

Ninja Gaiden Trilogy (SNES)

**Pub: Tecmo | Dev: Team Ninja | August 1995 | 12 MEGS**

Ninja Gaiden originated in the arcades in 1988. It was a beat ‘em up akin to Double Dragon and it wasn’t too well received. The NES version came out later that same year and did a complete 180. Not only was it now a side-scrolling action platformer, but it was heralded at the time for being one of the best games in the entire 8-bit NES catalog. Two sequels were released on the NES in 1990 and 1991. When word of a Super Nintendo system surfaced in the early ’90s, NES fans worldwide began dreaming of their favorite 8-bit titles receiving a glorious 16-bit makeover. Castlevania, Contra, Mega Man, Metroid and so forth. Those games all received the SNES treatment while others were sadly left in the dust. The list of illustrious games snubbed includes Bionic Commando, Metal Gear, Rygar, and of course, Ninja Gaiden. But never fear, not all hope was lost. In the late summer of 1995, Tecmo gave SNES fans Ninja Gaiden Trilogy. Although not a proper 16-bit sequel, it gave us the three classic Ninja Gaiden NES hits on one cartridge, along with a brand new password feature. What could go wrong, right?

NINJA FEVER

The 1980s was the decade of excess. Ronald Reagan, Boy George, Milli Vanilli, and oh yeah, Ninjas R Us. Be it Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Shinobi, ninjas dominated the scene. Cartoons, movies, toys and video games were inundated with ninjas galore. I remember my gaming group raving about Ninja Gaiden in the late ’80s. It was definitely a cut above your average NES game. We rented it a handful of times and could never beat it. The Ninja Gaiden games are notorious for their insane difficulty. While Ninja Gaiden wasn’t my absolute favorite, I always wanted to see a souped up 16-bit sequel — a Super Ninja Gaiden, if you will. Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. But hey, at least Tecmo gave us Ninja Gaiden Trilogy. But it wasn’t without some controversy…

Diehard fans of the NES trilogy have picked apart Ninja Gaiden Trilogy over the years, claiming that the NES originals are superior. But for me, the greatest tragedy is that by the time Tecmo released this game, I was starting to lose interest in SNES and gaming itself. Back in August of 1995, I was worried as hell about the first day of junior high, and it became harder and harder to enjoy video games with the same kind of zest as when you were a little kid. It was a time of change in my life, and the SNES and gaming in general began taking more of a backseat. If only Ninja Gaiden Trilogy came out in 1992 or 1993, and then we got Super Ninja Gaiden in 1994. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Fast forward to early 2006. I experienced an epic SNES renaissance. It was a golden time as most people had yet to hop on the SNES bandwagon of nostalgia. I beat the crowd by a good couple years. Life is all about timing, right? It wasn’t long before I snatched up Ninja Gaiden Trilogy. More than a decade later, I was finally going to play it. Speaking of decade, fun fact: these screenshots you see in this review were taken just over 10 years ago in May of 2008. I’ve been meaning to write a review of this game for ages…

NINJA GAIDEN

Ryu: "I WILL GET MY REVENGE!" — Ryu: ***“I WILL GET MY REVENGE!”***

There’s something special about the first level in great games. Who could forget this classic first stage from Ninja Gaiden? Strike down bat wielding goons and use your deft ninja abilities to navigate your way through.

Graphics were advertised as being improved to the NES versions. While this may be true technically, the difference is disappointingly minimal. Don’t expect the kind of visual improvement as seen in Super Mario All-Stars. Tecmo could have beefed up the visuals but sadly they took the bare minimum route.

Remember hopping back and forth here in order to clear the top wall? Ah, that brings back the nostalgia…

Beware of those pesky boxers. Ah, who could forget the classic first boss fight in the bar? Good stuff.

Revered (in part) for its revolutionary cutscenes, Ninja Gaiden advanced its plot in a dramatic and memorable fashion.

Shooting someone (even if it’s an anesthetic) and then asking said victim to do you a favor? Whoever this lady is, she’s got BALLS. And a strange creepy looking statue that she wants you to have for whatever reason… that I’m sure is completely wholesome…

Similar to Castlevania, you can use various secondary attacks as long as you’ve collected enough ammunition. Long ranged attacks, such as the Shuriken, is a Godsend in such hairy situations.

Relaxing retreat on a timeshare this ain’t!

Secondary attacks range in effectiveness. It’s too bad you can’t collect them, switching off to the one you want as necessary. One of my favorites is the attack that allows you to jump and slash simultaneously, providing a sphere of precious protection around Ryu. It makes those unsettling platform jumps (i.e. the ones with a bad guy loitering at the edge) much more manageable.

Pumpkinhead rejects and various fiends greet you with foul intent.

Flying enemies — they’re the bane of many. Especially when your hero jumps back whenever hit. Machine gun toting mad men make your life a living hell. I hope you have an appropriate sub weapon!

Nintendo players back in the day were legit if they could beat Ninja Gaiden fair and square. It left its mark on many, and has certainly terrorized many a childhood in the best of ways.

NINJA GAIDEN II: THE DARK SWORD OF CHAOS

Thunder and lightning erupts over the land. Who’s the creepy guy in red?

Ashtar’s his name, and he’s looking to finish the job Jaquio could not from the first game.

Episode II: The Dark Sword of Chaos. Makes it feel epic like it’s from the Star Wars universe. One major improvement right off the bat is the ability to now climb walls. You had to hop back and forth in the first game but now you can scale various structures like a true ninja badass.

Visually, the game looks a lot better than its predecessor. Although I’m not a fan of the red button eyesores that serve as your sub weapon containers. The first game was a lot more creative, housing them in everything from flickering lights to even hummingbirds. But that’s just a minor gripe. The first boss is a generic mutant that loves to deliver shoulder tackles.

Innovative cutscenes helped made the original game so memorable, and Ninja Gaiden II kicks that up a notch.

Swerve City, USA! I had deja vu for a second there. Looked like poor ol’ Ryu Hayabusa was once again going to be subdued by some anesthetic but instead he’s saved by the ~~bell~~ bullet. I guess you owe Robert TS the favor after all.

Battling atop a boxcar train, you’ll have to fend off Jason Voorhees and friends. Watch the snow — the wind changes direction in three different ways. Jumping against the wind is a surefire ticket to an early demise.

Duplicate yourself and even up the odds a bit with your clone helper. Up to two clones can be used. Nice!

Arachnophobia? You won’t like this boss.

Another cool cutscene advances the plot and builds up the anticipation for the next level.

Disappointment (or relief, depending on one’s perspective) strikes in Stage 3-1. The original NES version had lightning flashes that made it more difficult and atmospheric, but for some strange reason, it was not duplicated in the SNES port. Many diehard fans have pointed out this omission over the years, citing it as the telltale sign of a lazy port job. Hey, at least we still get the ninja clones.

Hayabusa continues his quest, this time in some rather murky waters.

Things get a bit slippery here.

Hayabusa or Ashtar — who will prevail? Only you can decide that!

NINJA GAIDEN III: THE ANCIENT SHIP OF DOOM

Things open up blazing hot as Irene is seen being chased by… Ryu Hayabusa?! Wait, whaaaat?

Falling to her demise, can it truly be the same Ryu we all know and love? Surely not…

Framed — I knew it! [Sure ya did -Ed.].

Players have complained that the jumps in the third game are too floaty. It does take a while to get used to, especially if you’re hot off the heels of playing the first two games. Generally speaking, Ninja Gaiden III is considered to be the weakest entry in the trilogy. Not that it’s a bad game; it’s just the first two were so damn good.

There’s something about Ninja Gaiden III that I really like, though. The weird cybernetic atmosphere, for one. That and Ryu is a better climber here than he was in previous outings. I also like the extra long slash power up you can get. Able to hit enemies both high and low, it gives you excellent coverage for a short ranged attack.

Clancy tells you to head over to Castle Rock. You’re a little skeptical but you press on in the name of avenging Irene…

Quicksand has claimed many lives — move fast or you could be next! Better move fast too during the auto scrolling section. Death waits for no one!

Destroy enemy bullets with a well-timed strike. I love when games let you do that. The boss fits in perfectly with the game’s cybernetic theme.

Condescending? Check. Smug? Check. Good to see you again, Foster.

Acquiring the right power up at the right time is key. One of my favorites is the energy blast that goes up and down. It can prove to be quite useful.

Thankfully, the “jump back” when hit isn’t too bad in this game. Another reason why I like Ninja Gaiden III so much and don’t see it as the “black sheep” of the trilogy as some others do. The previous two games had some serious recoil action.

Hayabusa be like, “So… you’re Great Value Ryu, eh?”

Perhaps it’s just me but doesn’t Ninja Gaiden III have a slight Mega Man-esque look to it? Part of me almost expects to see some Mets flying in and out!

Nothing’s better than beating a boss with one measly life bar remaining. What a rush!

Overlooking Castle Rock, Ryu runs into Clancy once again. He tells you about a terrible monster named BIO-NOID. Coincidentally, the Biohazard plan Clancy has been working on is the same name as the Resident Evil franchise over in Japan. Clancy goes on to explain that there was an open seam between dimensions when the Demon died. Foster had rebuilt the fortress and was using it to conduct all sorts of transformation experiments with life energy. Bio-noids are super humans that have been transformed with life energy. He tells you that it was a Bio-noid that killed Irene and that you’re the only one strong enough to stop it.

Infuriatingly difficult platforming abounds. Thank God for the password feature.

Hayabusa confronts Foster but wait a minute — IRENE?!

Somehow, Irene survived after all. Screw you, Foster!

Remember the guy who framed Ryu? He turns into a super mutant only to be blasted by Irene. Show ‘im who’s boss!

Eventually you step in and tell Irene you got this. Now it’s you vs. the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers.

Spoiler… Clancy was the mastermind behind it all.

Explore more strange locales as you seek out to hunt down Clancy.

Hayabusa’s clone isn’t quite dead yet…

Shame this port wasn’t enhanced more visually. The SNES could do so much more with this background.

Unfortunately, you’re a bit too late. Clancy has already made the life energy his and rambles on about the dimensional warship’s power.

Thought the previous levels were hard enough? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Precise and skilled platforming is the order of the day.

Genocide? Ryu ain’t down with that, Clancy. The time for talk is over.

Defending the fate of the universe, it’s up to you to put an end to this monster’s wicked plans.

Clancy’s true form is soon revealed…

Konami would be proud. Slash that sucker!

BLOODY HELL. You knew it couldn’t be that easy. Get ready for the final ultimate battle.

There’s screen-filling bosses and then there’s this guy. Holy shit. It doesn’t get any crazier than both life bars going down to the wire… with you barely winning out. On the final boss no less. Best feeling in a video game!

Sayonara, bitch!

Hayabusa dropping some knowledge there!

Regardless of how bad things may seem, never forget the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

REMEMBER WHEN…

I certainly was not alone. Many kids can fondly recall seeing Ninja Gaiden at Toys R Us back in 1989. We loved it even if it kicked our asses. Then when the SNES came out in 1991, we just assumed the inevitability of a souped up 16-bit version. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Yes, I remember the days of scrolling down the game aisles at Toys R Us once upon a moon. The iconic toy store is currently closing for good in 2018. Kind of sad to think my future kids will never know what it’s like to walk up and down those magical aisles. Rest In Peace, TRU.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Ninja Gaiden Trilogy was met with mixed reviews. Some liked it for having all three classic NES platformers on one cartridge and the brand new password feature, but others did not like the cuts or mostly lazy effort. Even to this day, it remains quite the polarizing SNES title. EGM gave it scores of 8.5, 6.5, 6.5 and 6.0. Nowadays it fetches for a fair penny, so it’s hard to recommend it at the going rate unless you absolutely have to play a Ninja Gaiden game on your SNES.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I liked Ninja Gaiden Trilogy when I first played it back in 2006. I still like it even though the project could have been handled better. Whereas Super Mario All-Stars knocked it out of the park, Ninja Gaiden Trilogy is not the poster boy for how to properly present a compilation. But the three NES games included in this package are still playable and at their core, they’re still quality games. I love the password feature as it allows me to beat the game at my pace, and also encourages random revisiting throughout the years. The critics can hate on this game all they like — I still enjoy it very much and come back to it every so often.

Although sadly not the Ninja Gaiden sequel we wanted or even the A+++ port we deserved, the games are still good enough to make this a redeeming package. Should it have been more? For sure. A Ninja Gaiden game on the SNES should be in the pantheon of Super Nintendo greats. This is far from that but in the end, I’m grateful to have it in my collection. And I’m not talking from a monetary stance. I still like playing these three games and always will. Sometimes we can get hung up on what isn’t rather than simply enjoying what is. In the case of Ninja Gaiden Trilogy — despite being slightly butchered — better to have it on the SNES than not at all.

Graphics: 5.5
Sound: 7.5
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 6.5

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Nightcrawler

Growing up in the late ’80s to mid ’90s, cartoons were the best. Cartoons really hit their prime during that time as well. Whether it was G.I. Joe, ThunderCats, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales or Mighty Max, cartoons were as important to me as video games. One of my favorite cartoon shows was X-Men: The Animated Series. It just recently turned 25 years old. Wow. How time flies. Since Avengers: Infinity War came out recently and I just reviewed Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems, I can’t think of a better time to share my favorite episode from the X-Men Animated Series than now. It touches on some pretty deep topics that you just didn’t see being broached back in the day. It flew over my head as a kid but when I saw this episode later in my 20’s, it completely resonated with me. Let’s see… it’s got:

Faith
The danger of being ignorant
Don’t judge a book by its cover
Accepting others who are different from us
Man’s struggle with whether or not there is a greater power

Originally aired nearly 23 years ago on May 13, 1995, RVGFanatic proudly presents…

Shout out to Len Uhley for making this great episode

A cold and stormy night somewhere near the Alps... — A cold and stormy night somewhere near the Alps…

"I saw the fiend! It had fangs! And claws!" — *“I saw the fiend! It had fangs! And claws!”*

"It was horrible! It haunts us!" — ***“It was horrible! It haunts us!”***

"We must do something! We shall destroy him!" — *“We must do something! We shall destroy him!”*

"DOWN WITH THE DEMON! DOWN WITH THE DEMON!" — *“DOWN WITH THE DEMON! DOWN WITH THE DEMON!”*

"AHHH!! IT'S THE DEMON!!! THE CURSED CREATURE!!" — ***“AHHH!! IT’S THE DEMON!!! THE CURSED CREATURE!!”***

"Schieß! Schieß! Get him!" "Destroy the demon! Shoot it now!" — ***“Schieß! Schieß! Get him!”***
***“Destroy the demon! Shoot it now!”***

"Don't let it get away! Hurry! What, it vanished into thin air!?" — *“Don’t let it get away! What, it vanished into thin air!?”*

"Heartless fools. They know not what they do..." — *“Heartless fools. They know not what they do…”*

“I know, she say. Let’s take a trip, she say. It’d be fun, she say. Huh! Some fun.”

“After what we’ve been through lately, I figured we could use some time off.”

"But you didn't tell me we'd have a chaperone." — *“But you didn’t tell me we’d have a chaperone.”*

"Don't whine to me. This ain't my idea of a good time" — *“Don’t whine to me. This ain’t my idea of a good time.”*

"Hey, hoser, I thought you like to ski" — *“Hey, hoser, I thought you like to ski.”*

"Look at him. Who does he think he is, Hugh Jackman?" — *“Look at him. Who does he think he is, Hugh Jackman?”*

“This is sitting around drinking hot cocoa and getting funny looks from rich folk.”

"Yeah, well, next time, plan your own darn vacation!" — *“Yeah, well, next time, plan your own darn vacation!”*

"Well, I hope you're happy" — *“Well, I hope you’re happy.”*

"Don't know the meaning of the word" — *“Don’t know the meaning of the word.”*

“Come on, a demon? You must be kidding!”

“I heard it on the train. The whole town thinks they’ve been under attack by some dark creature for months. Must be some local yokel superstition.”

“TELL ME MORE.”

“I’ll make it up to you. We’ll fly to Monte Carlo. We eat nice, lie on the beach…”

"Or you two could do something REALLY interesting." "Where are you going?" "Demon hunting. Interested?" "WHAT hunting?" "Gambit, a demon hunter? I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?" — *“Or you two could do something **REALLY** interesting.”*
*“Where are you going?”*
*“Demon hunting. Interested?”*
***“WHAT hunting?”***
*“Gambit a demon hunter? I’m gona regret this aren’t I?”*

"Exactly how far is this Neuherzl?" "A couple more miles. Why? You quitting, Gam?" — *“Exactly how far is this Neuherzl?”*
*“A couple more miles. Why? You quitting, Gam?”*

"It IS getting kind of late. Maybe I ought to fly us there." "What, and spoil Gumbo’s fun?" — *“It IS getting kind of late. Maybe I ought to fly us there.”*
*“What, and spoil Gumbo’s fun?”*

"Okay. So we don’t ski much on the bayou." *giggles* "You sure you don’t want help?" — *“Okay. So we don’t ski much on the bayou.”*
*giggles* “You sure you don’t want help?”

"Of course not. Gambit a natural athlete. … AHH!" — *“Of course not. Gambit a natural athlete. … AHH!”*

"Come on, Remy. Say something" — *“Come on, Remy. Say something.”*

“Man doesn’t break a sweat against Apocalypse or Magneto. So WHAT nails him? A pine tree. Wait… OH CRAP.”

"WHAT IN TARNATION?!" — ***“WHAT IN TARNATION?!”***

“Please, do not worry. This is home to twenty members of our order. We minister to many ski accident victims.”

"Logan! How is he?" "Gambit will hurt a while. But he’ll be okay" — *“Logan! How is he?”*
*“Gambit will hurt a while. But he’ll be okay.”*

"Praise be to God" — *“Praise be to God.”*

*sniffing* "Who's the snoop?" — *sniffing* “Who’s the snoop?”

“Brother Reinhard. Please show our guests to the visitor accommodations.”

“Brother, is it wise to have strangers around at this terrible time? They’re not the usual travelers!”

“Those in need are always welcome, Brother Reinhard. Please have faith in our mission.”

"You all monks? So, I’m the only woman here." — *“You all monks? So, I’m the only woman here.”*

“Yeah. Therefore, would you be kind enough to accept something more appropriate to wear during your stay?”

“Don’t wanna make the natives restless…”

“You should take care where you walk. Some doors on the upper levels open into thin air. The abbey was heavily damaged during the war.”

“So, Johann, besides praying and ministering, what do you boys do all day?”

“Our mission is to give shelter and comfort to all travelers. And, of course, to offer a place to renew one’s relationship with the Lord.”

“Being close to Heaven didn’t help us this afternoon, Father.”

“Are you sure, sir? Have you lost your faith? What is it that you seek?”

“Action. F’rinstance, I hear ya got a demon hanging around here.”

“You mean down in the town, in Neuherzl. Yes. An odd rumor, isn’t it? Personally, I have never myself met a demon…”

The word demon causes him to drop the plates — The word *demon* alone causes him to drop the plates

"Pardon, Reverend, I didn’t expect… hey! What are you doing?" — *“Pardon, Reverend, I didn’t expect…*
*Hey! What are you doing?”*

*GASP* "Oh no! They must serve the demon!" — *GASP* “Oh no! They must serve the demon!”

"There, you're safe now!" *Rogue gasps* "Please! You do not understand!" — *“There, you’re safe now!”*
*Rogue gasps*
*“Please! You do not understand!”*

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" — *“GAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”*

"TRY HOPPING OVER THESE, PAL!" — *“TRY HOPPING OVER THESE, PAL!”*

"I do not wish to fight." — *“I do not wish to fight.”*

"You and me are through dancing, Mr. Demon!" "No! You mustn’t!" "WHY SHOULDN'T I?!" — *“You and me are through dancing, Mr. Demon!”*
*“No! You mustn’t!”*
***“WHY SHOULDN’T I?!”***

"BECAUSE..... HE IS MY BROTHER!" — ***“BECAUSE… HE IS MY BROTHER!”***

"Brother? I don’t see the resemblance." — *“Brother? I don’t see the resemblance.”*

“Brother in the ecclesiastical sense — a member of our monastery.”

“I’m sorry I startled you, Fräulein. I did not know you could fly.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t know you could do whatever that was you did.”

“Teleportation. I think of a place I’d rather be, look to it, and I am there.”

“Gambit rather be in Monte Carlo. Think you can work that out?”

"Enough small talk! Are you the guy who attacked Gambit?" — *“Enough small talk! Did you attack Gambit?”*

"Of course not! Brother Nightcrawler is a man of God." — *“Of course not! Brother Nightcrawler is a man of God.”*

“But, aren’t you the demon we heard about?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. Like yourselves, I am a mutant. But unlike most mutants, my condition was obvious from the moment I was born.”

"AHH! IT'S A MONSTER! AN ABOMINATION OF GOD!" — *“AHH! IT’S A MONSTER! AN ABOMINATION OF GOD!”*

“The villagers drove my mother away… for bearing such a freak.”

“I never even knew her name. She could be anyone, really…”

"She abandoned me..." — *“She abandoned me…”*

"... but I did not die..." — *“… but I did not die…”*

“Instead I was found by a family of traveling performers. I became Nightcrawler, the star attraction of their little circus. For their freakish world, I was perfect!”

“But when the spotlight went out, I was still an outcast. Shunned and hated.”

"Guess there no peace for the wicked-looking." — *“Guess there no peace for the wicked-looking.”*

“No, he’s right. Though all people are flawed and all struggle with the capacity for sin, none likes to be reminded of our shared human weakness. My appearance does not make it easy.”

"Don’t it make you crazy?!" — ***“Don’t it make you crazy?!”***

“It did once. But then I found peace by devoting my life to God. He directed me to this place, where they value the character of my heart, not my appearance.”

"What are you talking about? We’re MUTANTS! God gave up on us a long time ago!" — *“What are you talking about?* ***We’re MUTANTS!***
*God gave up on us a long time ago!”*

“No, my friend. God does not give up on any of His children, be it human or mutant. He is there for us in our times of joy, and to help us when we are in pain… if we let Him.”

“Don’t give me that easy answer garbage! I’ve tried! Don’t ya think I want that!! I don’t need a sermon from some circus boy preacher.”

"Looks like you touched a nerve." "I am sorry. I did not mean to upset him." — *“Looks like you touched a nerve.”*
*“I’m sorry. I did not mean to upset him.”*

“Fine. Now Gambit got a question. If you’re not the guy who tried to put me out for good, who was?”

“All people of Neuherzl! I can no longer allow such sacrilege! The beast you seek is there! In the monastery!”

“Are you mad? Those are men of God!”

"The EVIL ONE has defiled that holy place! It must be destroyed!" — *“The **EVIL ONE** has defiled that holy place!*
*It must be destroyed!”*

"You are searching for me?" — *“You are searching for me?”*

"Nah, looking for a moment alone." — *“Nah, looking for a moment alone.”*

“We are alike, you and I, angry at the world, and ourselves. My pain drove me to seek God. Yours drove you away.”

"Don’t tell me about God! What kind of God would let men do THIS to me?" — “**DON’T TELL ME ABOUT GOD!!**
*What kind of God would let men do **THIS** to me?”*

“Our ability to understand God’s purpose is limited, but we take comfort in the fact His love is limitless.”

*SCOFFS* "I used to buy into all that..." — *SCOFFS* “I used to buy into all that…”

"BUT I'VE LIVED TOO LONG!" — ***“BUT I’VE LIVED TOO LONG!”***

"... and I've done too much..." — *“… and I’ve done too much…”*

"Life will ALWAYS be hard. I understand this better than most." — *“Life will **ALWAYS** be hard.*
*I understand this better than most.”*

“Yet despite it all, people of every faith believe there is a God who loves them.”

"Can so many be wrong?" — *“Can **so many** be wrong?”*

"OPEN YOUR HEART, HERR LOGAN." — ***“OPEN YOUR HEART, HERR LOGAN.”***

“Would it hurt so much to see the world through different eyes?”

“Brother! There is a mob headed up the road from Neuherzl. They must have discovered you are here.”

"And they want to rip you into little pieces. Tell me, preacher. What’s God’s purpose in that?" — *“And they want to rip you into little pieces.*
*Tell me, preacher, what’s God’s purpose in that?”*

“Neuherzl is isolated. The people know nothing about mutants. Perhaps I am here to help open their hearts. I must leave so no one will be hurt.”

"Running away, preacher? What’s wrong -- lose your faith?" — *“Running away, preacher?*
*What’s wrong — lose your faith?”*

"Why? Why must they always hate me?" — *“Why? Why must they always hate me?”*

"WE MUST STOP THE DEMON NO MATTER THE COST!" — *“WE MUST STOP THE DEMON, NO MATTER THE COST!”*

“Remember, Logan. Those people aren’t bad. They’re just scared. Be careful.”

“Careful? Fifty against two?!”

"Trois, mes amis. Don’t you know Gambit’s ready for anything?" — *“Trois, mes amis.*
*Don’t you know Gambit’s ready for anything?”*

"You sure you’re up for this?" "Course, chére. Soon as the room stop spinning." — *“You sure you’re up for this?”*
*“Course, chére. Soon as the room stop spinning.”*

"LET'S BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!!" — *“LET’S BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!”*

"Welcome Wagon's here." — *“Welcome Wagon’s here.”*

"DEVIL! DESTROY THE DEMON! OUT WITH YOU!!" — ***“DEVIL! DESTROY THE DEMON! OUT WITH YOU!!”***

"THE DEMON MUST DIE! WE MUST CLEANSE THIS PLACE!!" — *“THE DEMON MUST DIE! WE MUST CLEANSE THIS PLACE!”*

"FIRST, YOU'VE GOT TO GET PAST ME!" — *“FIRST, YOU’VE GOT TO GET PAST ME!”*

"Okay, people, now settle down!" — *“Okay, people, now settle down!”*

"Stop the demons! Our families! They want to hurt us! Kill them!" — *“Stop the demons! Our families!*
*They want to hurt us! Kill them!”*

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" — *“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”*

"I’m trying not to turn you bozos into hamburger. Now back off!" — *“I’m trying **not** to turn you bozos into hamburger.*
*Now back off!”*

"Bitte, Frau Kohler! You know us! Please listen to us!" — *“Bitte, Frau Kohler! You know us! Please listen to us!”*

"Nein! You are a pawn of the Evil One! Tell us where your monster is hiding!" — ***“Nein! You are a pawn of the Evil One!***
***Tell us where your monster is hiding!”***

"I am not hiding." — *“I am not hiding.”*

*Villagers scream* — *“What?! Where did they go?!”*

"The library? How did we get here?" — *“The library? How did we get here?”*

"Gambit not enjoying this vacation one bit." "Get him downstairs!" — *“Gambit not enjoying this vacation one bit.”*
*“Get him downstairs!”*

"What are you going to do?" — “What are you going to do?”

“I will surrender. It is the only way to prevent anyone else getting hurt.”

"Brother Reinhard! STOP!" — *“Brother Reinhard! STOP!”*

"THIS IS THE END, DEMON!" — ***“THIS IS THE END, DEMON!”***

"Be careful! The whole place is burning down!" "DEFILER!!!!" — *“Be careful! The whole place is burning down!”*
***“DEFILER!!”***

"The demon is attacking Brother Reinhard!" — *“The demon is attacking Brother Reinhard!”*

"I shall surrender!" — *“I shall surrender!”*

"YOU HAVE CORRUPTED THIS PLACE! I MUST PURIFY IT!" — *“YOU HAVE CORRUPTED THIS PLACE! I MUST PURIFY IT!”*

"LOOK! THE DEMON HAS GOT BROTHER REINHARD!" — *“LOOK! THE DEMON HAS GOT BROTHER REINHARD!”*

"Go ahead demon, do your worst! … Why do you pause? I have betrayed you!" — *“Go ahead demon, do your worst!*
*… Why do you pause? I have betrayed you!”*

"It is not for me to judge you, Brother Reinhard." — *“It is not for me to judge you, Brother Reinhard.”*

"The question is... how will God judge you?" — *“The question is… how will God judge you?”*

"Look around you. This is the fruit of YOUR labors... ... Not mine!" — *“Look around you. This is the fruit of YOUR labors…*
*… **Not mine!**“*

"Lord help me! I was wrong! I have sinned! What have I done?" — ***“Lord help me! I was wrong!***
***I have sinned! What have I done?”***

"Thank you, my friends. Your presence here was a great blessing." — *“Thank you, my friends.*
*Your presence here was a great blessing.”*

"What do you mean, blessing?! Look at this place! We blew it!" — “What do you mean, **blessing?!**
*Look at this place! **We blew it!**“*

“I disagree. Brother Reinhard understands his tragic mistake and has repented.”

“The townspeople no longer look at me with fear in their hearts.”

"There was no loss of life. All are reasons to be thankful." — *“There was no loss of life.*
*All are reasons to be thankful.”*

"What about the monastery?" — *“What about the monastery?”*

"A great tragedy. But it was only stone and mortar." — *“A great tragedy. But it was only stone and mortar.”*

“The foundation God has built in our hearts can never be ruined.”

"Man, I don't get you." — *“Man, I don’t get you.”*

"Here, I’ve marked a few passages you may find rewarding." — *“I’ve marked a few passages you may find rewarding.”*

"Remember, Herr Logan... DIFFERENT EYES..." — ***“Remember, Herr Logan… DIFFERENT EYES…”***

*SIGH* "Paris. Back in the civilized world." — *SIGH* “Paris. Back in the civilized world.”

“I don’t know. Those quiet little monks were starting to grow on me.”

“Face it, chére, those monks kid themselves. We on our own in this world. Life is random. Deal you a full house, or a busted flush.”

"Something I said?" — *“Something I said?”*

"Ah well. Looks like more food for Gambit." — *“Oh well. Looks like more food for Gambit.”*

*SIGH* "What if he’s right? What if there’s nothing else?" — *SIGH* “What if he’s right? What if there’s nothing else?”

“I will give thanks to you, oh Lord. For though you were angry with me, your anger turned away, and you comforted me. I will trust and not be afraid.”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I love how this episode centers around Logan’s struggle with faith in something larger than himself. TV shows back in the ’90s rarely touched upon such issues, much less cartoons. Nightcrawler’s pure faith, if not admirable and inspirational, is certainly understandable. Len Uhley, who wrote this landmark episode, didn’t shove religion down the viewer’s throat. Instead, he presented it in a way that more or less left it up to the individual to decipher. It didn’t beat you over the head but the message was just strong enough to make you think about things that perhaps may be outside of one’s comfort zone. Very few cartoon episodes have ever made me reflect on my own life and views as much as Nightcrawler did. Is there really a God who exists and cares for us all? Can we find true peace from God’s word? That’s up to each individual person. Nightcrawler did a great job of broaching the subject. Personally, I’m a believer. I became a Christian at 25 back in 2009. I got into it pretty hardcore, but I’m pretty casual nowadays with my faith. It’s more of a private thing these days for me, and that’s how I like to keep it.

Shout out to Len Uhley! What a fantastic episode — Shout out to Len Uhley!

I’d be remiss if I didn’t share my favorite faith-related story. Several summers ago, I organized a volunteering gig with some friends of mine. It was a foot washing and feeding event for the homeless. It was a humbling experience. I’ll never forget the first man whose feet I washed. He told me right off the bat, pardon the pun, that his name is Bruce Wayne and that he’s THE Batman. Naturally, part of me thought he was crazy. But as the foot washing went on, “Bruce” shared childhood stories of his father with me, his 29 years in the truck driving business, and shared his dreams growing up. Didn’t take long for me to realize he’s just like anyone else. At the end he thanked me for the foot washing and left.

No youre not. Oh wait, you are?! — No you’re not. Oh wait, you are?!

Not three minutes later, he walked back in to show me his identification card. SON OF A BITCH. Sure enough, there it was, clear as day. Name: BRUCE WAYNE. He wasn’t kidding, he really was Bruce Wayne. He gave me a grin and I returned the gesture as we nodded before he walked out. Later I spoke with the coordinator and she explained to me Bruce is a regular and how his Batman persona is his own personal way of coping with being homeless. Wow. It’s a little bit deeper than just “Oh, this dude’s a crazy homeless guy.” The experience reminded me not to be so quick judging others. Walk a mile in their shoes — or wash their feet — before you decide what their story is.

Len Uhley reflects fondly on his Nightcrawler episode here.