Undercover Cops (SFC)

Such wasted potential...
Such wasted potential…

Beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade scene in the early ’90s. Irem released Undercover Cops in 1992. They then went to work on a Super Nintendo version but that was sadly canned. However, Varie (you might remember that name from my previous review of the Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling trilogy) picked it up and released a Super Famicom only version in March of 1995. I was beyond thrilled to discover this fact upon my SNES resurrection in early 2006. I always wanted to play Undercover Cops on my SNES. Thanks to Varie, I now could. Unfortunately, the port falls a little flat with me. I couldn’t help but feel it was a little lacking. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind a bit by jumping 25 years into the future…

THE YEAR IS 2043

Arcade version
Arcade version
Super Famicom port
Super Famicom port

Council: “Everyone, the peace of our town is at its worst condition ever.”
Mayor: “I have a suggestion. Let the City Sweepers clean up the villains!”
Council: “Of course, Mayor. Violence begets violence! Let’s do it!”

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Arcade version
Arcade version
Super Famicom port
Super Famicom port

Collectively, this fearsome unit is known as…

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Individually, they’re known as, well, let’s go down the line.

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Zan Takahara hails from Japan. He is the balanced fighter of the group.

Zan's special move
Zan’s special move
Zan's super special move
Zan’s super special move
I like how it goes all pixelated
I like how it goes all pixelated

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Matt Gables is your good old American football player turned City Sweeper slash Undercover Cop. Notice his birthday — July 4, 2018 — as of this writing he’s almost about to be born. Surprise surprise, he’s the slowest but also the strongest of the trio.

Matt's special move
Matt’s special move
Sweet
Sweet
Matt's super special move
Matt’s super special move

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Rosa Felmonde hasn’t even been conceived yet! Hailing from England, Rosa is the token quick but weak female fighter of the group.

Rosa's special move
Rosa’s special move
Rosa's super special move
Rosa’s super special move

SOAP? WHO NEEDS SOAP?!

"MY BOX -- MINE!!"
“MY BOX — MINE!!”

The first thing I noticed about Undercover Cops is how dirty the game looks. I don’t mean that in a bad way; I actually like that it’s so gritty and grimy. It gives the game a rather grim and bleak atmosphere. So many SNES games are full of bright and bold colors. Not here and that’s a welcome change. I almost feel like I have to take a shower after playing this game.

Keep your eyes on those crows
Keep your eyes on those crows

Battle your way through rundown abandoned buildings, grimy festering docks and inauspicious underground tunnels to name but a few. Everything is in a deep state of decay. The enemies mostly consist of subhuman creatures. A wretched decrepit flock of sideshow freaks. You can bet they haven’t bathed in months (if not years). Even the good guys appear unpleasant and a bit dour.

Under the crows -- surprise!
Under the crows — surprise!

Little details, as seen above, add to the fun of the game (it’s a shame then that the best stuff occurs early on). Crows fly off revealing in its wake two filthy bastards who soon rise like zombies. Send ‘em back to the hell hole they came from!

WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

Hey, it's high in protein y'know
Hey, it’s high in protein y’know

To replenish your health, most beat ‘em ups have you consuming burgers, drinks and assorted meat. But not in Undercover Cops. So what does one eat? Mice, chicken, even snails! Gobble them up before they can scamper (or crawl) away. To make matters even more unsettling, the cops voice their pleasure whenever eating such delicacies. Zan gruffly shouts “GOOD!” and Matt screams “DELICIOUS!” Yum.

EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

Whatever works, right?
Whatever works, right?

While other beat ‘em ups give you knives to fling or bats to swing, Undercover Cops on the other hand walks to its own beat. For example, nothing says PAIN quite like tossing flopping fish at the opposition.

The struggle is real
The struggle is real

But my favorite instrument of destruction is the random concrete pillar. You can either knock it over or unearth it with your bare hands (it’s quite amusing to watch the ongoing struggle that ensues).

Love the R-Type cameo there!
Love the R-Type cameo there!

Naturally, Matt is able to pluck it out faster than Zan or Rosa. Matt and Zan can use the pillar the same amount of times while it breaks fastest for Rosa. Poor Rosa. She’s got a serious case of Breath of the Wild

Dobkeratops from R-Type III
Dobkeratops from R-Type III

It’s always lovely to see companies throwing in clever little easter eggs that show off past franchises. I always enjoy seeing stuff like that.

Good rotation and form, Matt
Good rotation and form, Matt

The concrete pillar just might be my favorite non-projectile based weapon to use in beat ‘em up history. It’s so satisfying to knock over the deformed cretins with it.

Metal beams are fun, too
Metal beams are fun, too

Here we come to the first boss, Parcs. He’s hiding a nasty secret beneath that weird looking exterior. Weaken him and soon he reveals his true form.

Timed right...
Timed right…
... you can crush his ass!
… you can crush his ass!

Bonus points for a highly creative first boss encounter. I love it when beat ‘em ups let you interact with the environment so seeing this for the first time had me jumping out of my chair. It’s too bad though that the rest of the boss fights are nowhere near as creative or fiendishly fun.

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The beginning of Mission 2 is my favorite part in the whole game. Kick the barrel of flames or better yet, heave it at the enemies.

Don't let that snail get away!
Don’t let that snail get away!

Upon impact the barrel will liberate a flurry of burning torches. It’s time to burn some bad guys alive! WICKED fun.

Love the enemy taunts
Enemy taunts are on fire… ;)

The scoundrels can toss the torches as well, and if you’re knocked down, one rapscallion in particular enjoys a hearty laugh at your expense.

Whoa BABY!
Whoa BABY is right

The second boss, Fransowors, is where I personally believe the game began to lose me. It’s such an awkward character design and hell, even the name itself is weird. I didn’t like the aesthetics of this boss encounter at all. The background is dull and drab and Fransowors is one big annoying crybaby. It’s a major disappointment coming off the brilliance of the first boss fight with Parcs.

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These underground diggers are deadly when traveling in packs. They like to do the spin cycle which automatically knocks you down. Unfortunately, because you aren’t granted temporary invulnerability after being knocked down, they can and will spam attack you until your life is gone. Only then can you beat them when you’re revived and then granted that precious second or two of invincibility. I hate when games make you lose a life and there’s nothing you can do about it. To me that’s plain lazy and poor game design and programming. My experience with Undercover Cops began to really sour at this point.

Arcade version gets a lot crazier!
Arcade version gets a lot crazier!
Mines pop up and explode
Mines pop up and explode

I dig the flashing tunnel. Reminds me of Elevator Action Returns

EARshot

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These suckers greet you with a nasty little love tap if you’re caught in their path. They can’t be killed so just steer clear as they mindlessly march on by. Sometimes it gets really crowded and it feels impossible to come out unscathed. Luckily, any damage they inflict isn’t too much. Still rather annoying, however.

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The end level guardian is a monster born from malpractice. And it wants you for dinner… not as a guest but the main course attraction! Sadly, this is where the game ends if you play it on Easy. Only on Normal or Hard can you go through all 5 missions. Below are some quick shots of missions 4 and 5 (note: these screenshots will depict the original arcade version).

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Mission 4 = Motorcycle Madness. The SNES port allows you to assign a button to the run command. Turn this option on to make your life a lot easier.

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Mission 5 is the longest and most tedious level in the game. You fight across a seemingly endless skyship where you battle a never-ending supply of cronies and a handful of Parcs (the boss from Mission 1).

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Better stop Dr. Crayborn from launching the nuke before it’s too late. You’ll get a bad ending if you fail to do so.

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Finally coming toward the end, you must battle zombie versions of the team!

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Where’s Rick Grimes when you need him?

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Doctor, I think there’s something wrong with you…

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Crayborn is taken away
Crayborn is escorted to prison
Spend the rest of your life in the slammer
Where he’ll rot away the rest of his days
The End, right? Not quite...
The end, right? Not quite…
In a fabulous twist...
In a fabulous twist…
DUN DUN DUN!
DUN DUN DUN!

ASSESSMENT DAY

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Your performance is tallied up at the end of each Mission. Depending on how much money you’ve earned, you’ll regain a certain amount of health (if applicable).

DEJA VU

Matt reminds me of...
Matt reminds me of…
Johnny Maximum!
Johnny Maximum!
Or I should say vice versa
Or I should say vice versa
J. Max appeared in World Heroes 2
World Heroes 2 was silly fun

ARCADE COMPARISON

SNES
SNES
Arcade
Arcade

Obviously, there’s going to be a certain amount of sacrifices made when a company converts an arcade game into a much smaller SNES cartridge. Undercover Cops is no different. It was something you just accepted as a kid and in most cases, you were just happy to have a home port to mess around with.

LIFE AFTER CITY SWEEPING

Irem went on to make other similar post-apocalyptic arcade action games. These include:

In The Hunt (April 1993)
In The Hunt (April 1993)
Gun Force II (1994)
Gun Force 2 (1994)

A lot of the team who helped made Undercover Cops later formed the Nazca Corporation. They were responsible for a very famous Neo Geo game…

Metal Slug (May 1996)
Metal Slug (May 1996)

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

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Undercover Cops was actually set for a March 1994 release. Hell, it was even reviewed in the March 1994 issue of Nintendo Power Magazine (issue #58). Sadly, it was canned and never saw the light of day in North America. Varie picked up the publishing rights exactly one year later and released it in Japan only on March 3, 1995. The actual Super Famicom cartridge currently commands a minimum of $200 — yowzers!

Not meant to be (1993 is a typo there, should say 1994)
Not meant to be (1993 is a typo; it should say 1994)
There was even an ad published for it!
There was even an ad published for it!

Maybe the ugly Americanized art sealed its own fate. By God is that fugly! Should have gone with the Japanese style box art…

Now that's what I'm talking about
Now that’s what I’m talking about

Looks like the US version was fully finished and ready to go, especially if you’re going off the fact that Nintendo Power reviewed it. Not sure why it was canned except maybe Irem didn’t have faith in it moving the needle as it was a port of an arcade game two years long in the tooth and one that wasn’t a household name in North America. Whatever the case may be, it’s always sad to see promising games cancelled. I’m glad Varie picked up its publishing rights in 1995 even if the port job is a bit disappointing on Irem’s part.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

RaheemDTRT

Remember Spike Lee’s movie Do The Right Thing from 1989? The character Radio Raheem sported a four-fingered ring on each hand, with LOVE on the right hand and HATE on the left, to symbolize the struggle between the two emotions. That perfectly describes how I feel about Undercover Cops. I have a love-hate relationship with this game. I love that it was released at all following the US cancellation. I dig how twisted it can be at times, from eating snails to even knocking the skull off of Mission 4’s boss post fight and scarfing it down like how Joey Chestnut eats his hot dogs! I love the post-apocalyptic atmosphere. However, some of the aesthetics could use a little more work. Not having a 2 player option in 1995 is inexcusable. It reeks of laziness. I can see why it’s 1 player only, though. Even in the 1 player mode there’s a bit of occasional slowdown. I can only imagine how much worse it would be in a 2 player mode. But other companies managed to make it work, relatively speaking, so Irem should have found a way as well. I also hate that the game loses a lot of its appeal and luster by around Mission 3. I find it more repetitive than other beat ‘em ups from that era.

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Not having a 2 player mode is not a deal breaker though especially if the game itself is good enough on its own. Sadly, there’s something missing. It’s definitely not a bad beat ‘em up but I can easily think of 10 more competent SNES beat ‘em ups I would much rather play. Undercover Cops is one of those games that start out real promising but quickly lose steam less than halfway through. Others have raved about this SNES version but try as I might over the 12 years I’ve owned it, I just can’t give it a ringing endorsement.

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