Captain Commando (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1995 | 16 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1995 | 16 MEGS

Capcom ported over two of their 1991 arcade beat ‘em ups, King of Dragons and Knights of the Round, to the Super Nintendo in the spring of 1994. A three year gap was an unusually long time for an arcade game to be ported back in those days, so both conversions were a pleasant surprise. Arcade translations typically came out a year (or two) later. Well, Capcom one upped themselves when they released yet another 1991 arcade brawler, Captain Commando, to the SNES in the late summer of 1995. Coming out a whopping four years later from its original arcade release, Captain Commando was an aging relic at a time where beat ‘em ups had lost a lot of their luster. Because it came out so late in the SNES’ lifespan, it never really got the attention it surely would have gotten had it came out three years prior in 1992. A bit of an ill-timed release, Capcom nevertheless forged ahead. And quite frankly, I’m glad they did. While it is a watered down version of the arcade original (as most 16-bit ports at the time were), Captain Commando is a reminder of the early ’90s when side scrolling brawlers ruled the scene. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start back at the beginning…

CAPCOM’S “MASCOT”

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Captain Commando (geddit?) served as sort of a mascot for Capcom. He made his debut in 1985 in the Ghosts ‘N Goblins manual.

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Then he began thanking you for buying Capcom’s games. This comes from 1987’s Mega Man instruction manual.

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He showed up once again the following year in the sequel, Mega Man 2, thanking you for your purchase and support of Capcom. As you can see, he has altered his look over the years. Gotta keep up with the times, eh?

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Captain Commando disappeared from making instruction booklet cameos by the time 1990’s Mega Man 3 rolled around. Then in 1991, it happened. Captain Commando received his very own game. Final Fight was a huge success in 1989 so Capcom was hoping for more of the same magic with Captain Commando. Fast forward to 1995. At last, Capcom converted Captain Commando to the SNES. Sacrifices were made but we’ll get to that later. For me, it was just good to finally see the good Captain and his unusual friends beating up hoodlums in my living room.

THE STORY GOES…

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Taking place in the far flung future of 2026 (which is currently only 8 years away), Scumocide and his cronies are looking to rule over Metro City. Fun fact: this is the same Metro City from Capcom’s first beat ‘em up, Final Fight.

THE COMMANDOS

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Captain Commando can electrocute bad guys and set them on fire. Yeah, he’s pretty bad ass. Ginzu the Ninja capitalizes on the obsession with ninjas back in the late ’80s and early ’90s.

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Captain Commando doesn’t feature your prototypical cast. Look no further than these two. Mack is a mummy-like alien that looks more like one of the goons rather than one of our heroes. Baby Head is a a super genius baby who fights riding on an advanced mech suit that he himself built. Now that says it all, does it not?

MISSION 1: THE CITY

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Captain Commando features 9 stages. The first one takes place in the City. I love little details like being able to shatter the store windows.

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Enemies come bounding out of the sewers similar to the Foot Soldiers from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time. Too bad you can’t fling the manhole covers back at them, though. On the bright side, unlike Turtles in Time, there’s no danger of falling through the manhole and losing precious life.

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Rushing attacks are nice. I like how this first stage scrolls downward a bit. It’s a small touch that I appreciate, especially seeing as how most beat ‘em ups simply go from left to right with zero variation.

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Hammer time! If you zoom in or squint, you can see a statue of Haggar there. As stated earlier, this is Metro City in the year 2026. The first boss is Dolg.

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Cosplaying as a lost member of the Road Warriors (AKA Legion of Doom), Dolg is more bark than bite. When in a pinch, use Mack’s special spinning attack to clear the room.

MISSION 2: THE MUSEUM

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Breaking the glass isn’t necessary — it’s mandatory. You’re then dropped into the bowels of this shady museum where you’ll run into savage neanderthals with names like Samson and Organo. I’m not ashamed to admit that the creepy lifeless family that stares at you in the background slightly gives me the heebie jeebies.

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Barrels can be a lifesaver. Save the meat until your health is low. The oddly named boss here, Shtrom Jr., looks like a Radiation Ranger reject from Toxic Crusaders.

MISSION 3: THE NINJA HOUSE

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Moving on to the Ninja House, you’re greeted by the heel wearing Mardia, a formidable female fighter who assuredly has never skipped leg day. Don’t forget to watch your back or else those knife throwing thugs will make you pay. A less muscular female attacks with stun rods. I like how this stage transitions from the city to a rural dojo.

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Ninjas ruled the day back in the late ’80s and early ’90s. This game has them well represented. Not only can you BE a ninja but you’ll fight lots of ninjas, too. If the action gets too hot, try using the laser gun.

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Musashi makes quite the entrance. Two questions: Is this Ronin 47 and where’s Keanu Reeves when you need him? Later on, more ninjas attempt to ambush you.

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Crowded? Use your special move to make room. Watch out for their shurikens!

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Luckily, this is just a (brilliant) fake out scene. You escape by the skin of your teeth without having to fight them.

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However, going inside isn’t much better. Meet Yamato, a kabuki warrior wielding a halberd. He reminds me of Kyoshiro from Samurai Shodown fame, or should I say vice versa.

MISSION 4: CIRCUS CAMP

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Ahhhh, the Circus. Where you can obtain fancy art and set folks on fire. Fun for the whole family!

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Wookys (gotta love that name) are so fun to beat up. I’ve come to learn that any door brandishing the word DANGER on it is not playing…

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Shatter the glass on your way to the boss whose name is “Monster.” Real creative there, Capcom…

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Things got a little too hot for Mack so in comes the Cap! I love how he can set enemies on fire as well as electrocute them. Look at Dr. Tea Water getting all bent out of shape there.

MISSION 5: SEA PORT

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Bailing so fast, Doc? This surfing bit adds some variety to the gameplay and helps to break up the monotony. Pick up a machine gun and let ‘er rip! Where do you think 1993’s Surf Ninjas got their inspiration from? Ah hell if I know.

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Careful trying to jump kick those billboards. In this case, sometimes boards do hit back. But you know what — or who — doesn’t? Poor ol’ Dr. Tea Water that’s who!

MISSION 6: AQUARIUM

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Electrocution vs. fire… who’s going to win? Fire, I see.

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Wookys come out of the woodwork. Break the blocks there to reveal a gun. Shockingly, it does little damage but what great fun you’ll have shooting it.

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Mysteriously named Z, he knows how to reach out and touch somebody. Unleash the Captain Corridor when you’re surrounded. Such a basic yet cool looking move.

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Temporary invincibility is granted whenever you lose a life. I love the double and triple vision that this effect produces.

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Somebody’s gonna get fired for attacking the wrong side! I love when games allow enemies to hurt their own kind on accident. It somehow makes the game feel a little more realistic. But best of all, it’s simply a hoot to see!

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Remember Shtrom Jr.? Now meet his dad and his dad’s right hand man. Use Baby Head’s Knee Rocket to even up the odds.

MISSION 7: UNDERGROUND BASE

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Beware of falling barrels. Give it your best Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop impersonation. This is another level that scrolls downward. Nice.

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Hitting a baby seems so wrong on every account, and that includes genius babies riding mech suits. But I suppose when a baby hits you in the face with a knee rocket, all bets are off (even though technically you should be dead).

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Ginzu’s the name and slicing and dicing is his game!

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Surrounded by two towering thugs? Hit them with the Smoke Bomb.

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Originally named Blood, he’s been renamed Boots. Lame. Speaking of lame, the big brute blows up his desk to reveal a tunnel hatch where he attempts to escape. Fall down the rabbit hole and make him pay.

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Captain Commando to the rescue!

MISSION 8: ENEMY SPACESHIP

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Certainly will keep you on your toes. Hasty players may get zapped.

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Assassin by day, hooker by night. They can even zap their fellow enemies!

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“Thanks for the help, fat boys! Now my turn to give y’all a gift in return.”

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Doppel replicates himself into all versions of the Commando team. You must beat all of them to defeat him.

MISSION 9: CALLISTO

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Callisto, an enigmatic planet somewhere in the cosmos, is the site of the final battle. The first boss is back to exact revenge. Although it teases a possible boss rush, it thankfully isn’t. Check out the creepy (and probably wealthy) monsters in the background with babes hanging on every which side. It has a Mos Eisley Cantina vibe (from Star Wars fame). I almost expect Harrison Ford to come bounding in any second now as Han Solo!

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Defeat Dolg and the hideous picture lifts, revealing Scumocide’s home base.

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Heavier than a tank and taller than a mountain, Scumocide is a suitably intimidating final boss. Where’s The Hulk when you need him?

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Whether he’s freezing your ass into a block of ice or incinerating your flesh, Scumocide doesn’t mess around.

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Everyone has a weakness, even big badass warlords. Grab him, smash in his coconuts and finish him off with a piledriver that would make Haggar proud.

YOU’RE WELCOME, MARVEL

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Scumocide defeated and world domination thwarted, Metro City celebrates its freedom and victory. When out of nowhere the good Cap appears on the screen to give the city a brief message. When asked who he is, he responds in dramatic fashion. It would have made Tony Stark himself blush. Hey where do you think Iron Man got its ending from? :P

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ARCADE COMPARISON

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As was the norm for arcade ports on the SNES, there’s an obvious drop in visual quality. But surprisingly, the sprites in the SNES port aren’t much smaller if at all. The colors aren’t as vibrant but the core basics are there. At least they are for the most part, anyhow.

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One of the biggest differences is the toned down violence. Ginzu could slice enemies in half in the arcade version. Obviously, Nintendo was not going to allow that for the SNES port. It’s a bummer for sure but for me not a deal breaker.

Mack can melt bums to the bone
Mack can melt bums to the bone
Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain't so
Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain’t so
Musashi could cut you in half in the arcade version
That’s gonna leave a mark…
"THIS ONE'S FOR CAP!"
“THIS ONE’S FOR CAP!”
"And this one's for me..."
“And this one… THIS ONE’S FOR ME!!”
Sadly missing from the SNES version
Sadly the robot suits are missing from the SNES version

Arguably the biggest omission however is the lack of robots to ride.

A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot. DAMN
A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot! :D

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The other big sacrifice of course was going from 4 players in the arcade to only 2 players in the SNES port. But seeing as how there is no beat ‘em up on the SNES featuring 3 or 4 players co-op (I don’t count Peace Keepers since that was a special mode and doesn’t involve enemies), this shouldn’t shock anyone.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE?

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Konami you sneaky bastards. Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) is one of the best SNES action games ever made but damn if that intro doesn’t resemble Captain Commando (1991).

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Shtrom Jr. and the Radiation Ranger (from Toxic Crusaders) bear more than a passing resemblance to one another.

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Maybe it’s just me but the burning animation in Captain Commando reminds me of the burning scenes in Halloween II (1981). Especially the end where Michael Myers falls down on his knees before flopping face first.

I see you, Boogeyman! And I'll see you on 10.19.18!
I see you, Boogeyman…
And Ill see you again in theatres October 19!
And I’ll see you again in theaters October 19!

LIFE AFTER

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Fans of Captain Commando would have to wait until Marvel vs. Capcom (1998) to use the good Captain once again.

He even got his own action figure
He even got his own action figure
Can't wait for the Venom movie (October 5, 2018)
Can’t wait for the Venom movie (October 5, 2018)
Ginzu makes a cameo and gives the assist
Ginzu makes a cameo and gives the assist
Ah, the whole gang back. Just like old times
Ah, the whole gang back. Just like old times
Standing next to Spider Man and Captain America
Standing by Spider Man and Captain America
He would return in Marvel vs. Capcom 2 2000)
He would return in Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (2000)

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His next appearance came in Namco x Capcom (2005). However, he did not return in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (2011) or its follow-up, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. The next time we would see Captain Commando, or his costume anyhow, came in Street Fighter V as a costume unlock for Charlie Nash. The world awaits his next return. Or at least, me and four others, anyhow.

GRAPHIC NOVELS

Creepy..
That’s not creepy and cult-like at all…
Im not sure whats happening but it cant be good
Not sure what’s happening but it can’t be good
Told cha
Told ‘cha

You wouldn’t know it if you’ve only played the censored SNES version but the universe of Captain Commando is quite barbaric. The arcade original was gruesome especially for its time and that violence is reflected in the manga series.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Watered down. Geddit? Sorry
Watered down. Geddit? Sorry

Captain Commando didn’t get much pub in the press because it came out fairly late in the Super Nintendo’s lifespan. That and I think because it was a port of an arcade game four years old, it never received the press it would have had it come out a few years prior. EGM, GameFan and Super Play didn’t review it. As for SNES players, it’s got something of a mixed reputation. Of course it’s been watered down in its arcade to home translation, but some still find it pretty fun. Others can’t overlook all the censorship. Whatever the case may be, copies of this game currently fetch triple figures online. Most SNES games now go for a pretty penny and this is certainly no exception.

If you can look past this, you might still enjoy it
If you can look past this, you might still enjoy it

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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People can hate on this port all they want, but I love the fact that Capcom gave it to us, period. They didn’t have to. After four long years they had every right to make other games for the SNES — a system that was inching closer and closer to the end of its glorious run. And yet Capcom didn’t. It’s far from perfect and sure, I’m as bummed out as anyone that the gore was removed and especially the robots to ride. But at the end of the day, those are only small components to the game. The question is, does the game itself still play well? And my answer is a semi-resounding YES. I love a well made beat ‘em up and while this isn’t the pinnacle, it’s still a pretty solid example of the genre.

"Spare a dollar, pal?"
“Spare a dollar, pal?”

Graphically, it’s far from Capcom’s best. The visuals even appear a bit drab in places. But I feel it fits the game; there’s sort of an appropriate bleakness to future Metro City where Scumocide and his cronies (attempt to) rule. The sound effects unfortunately are not up to par by Capcom standards. Punches and strikes don’t have that satisfying OOMPH to them. Enemies also sound weird and off when dispose of. But the most important aspect of any game is how well it plays and Capcom did a good job there. The game is easy to pick up and it’s enjoyable especially if you don’t obsess over what it’s missing from its arcade original.

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You still get all four Commandos and I like this cast of misfits a lot more than I do many others. I mean, you got a mummy alien and a baby genius riding a mech suit that he himself built! It’s bonkers and I love that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. A post-apocalyptic Sci-Fi atmosphere runs rampant throughout. Sometimes the action and enemy clones in these type of games can get rather repetitive but for me that’s not the case here. The enemies are just so wonderfully bizarre, despite the obvious tropes. The stages aren’t overly long nor is the game overly hard. It doesn’t wear out its welcome and is something you can pop in for some quick mindless action. I still play it randomly once every few years and it always leaves me with a smile on my face.

Graphics: 6.5
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 7

AwardOverall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Gotta love any map that has a T-Rex on it
Gotta love any map that has a T-Rex on it :D

Jurassic Park 2 (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Ocean | November 1994 | 16 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Ocean | November 1994 | 16 MEGS

Jurassic Park fever swept the world back in the summer of 1993. After the smashing blockbuster hit, dinosaurs were back and bigger than ever. Later that November, Ocean released a video game adaptation of Jurassic Park to mostly rave reviews. Exactly one year later, they were at it again with a sequel. But this time, rather than an overhead action game with first person shooter sections, Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues was a more basic and traditional side-scrolling shoot ‘em up. Jurassic Park 2 comes off a bit like a mix between Alien³ and Contra III, proving that going back to the basics can be what’s best for business.

That Barbasol can is in honor of one, Dennis Nedry
That Barbasol can is in honor of one, Dennis Nedry
Rest In Power, Dennis Nedry
Rest In Power, Dennis Nedry

REWIND BACK TO JANUARY 25, 2006

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I never played Jurassic Park 2 back in the day but I fondly recall the crazy 6-page EGM preview in their December 1994 issue. When I got back into the Super Nintendo nearly 12 years ago (January 17, 2006 to be precise), Jurassic Park 2 was one of the earliest games I picked up. It’s a fond memory for me as it fell on the first day of my final undergrad semester at my old college. It was a Wednesday I can still vividly recall. That semester Wednesday was the best day of the week because I only had one class on Wednesdays (9-10:15 AM). After class that day I had a couple girl friends go buy some books with me at the local campus store. Afterward it was 11:30 and I decided to drive to a nearby Game Crazy to see what SNES goodies they might have that day. Game Crazy was a hub attached to Hollywood Video back when these relics existed. There was a time when Game Crazy was actually pretty damn good. They used to carry a solid variety of top-notch SNES games in excellent condition, but this was before the SNES scene exploded. On this particular afternoon, much to my delight I found The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues and The Lost Vikings. I got The Lost Vikings free as part of Game Crazy’s buy 2 get 1 free deal. Talk about starting off my final undergrad semester with a bang!

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I remember asking the cashier that day if he had any Sega Saturn games in storage. I don’t know why but I asked him and boy am I glad I did. He said he received a stash of Saturn games recently but that they had not yet put out on display. He pulled out a thick black binder, unzipped it and revealed a bunch of somewhat scarce Saturn titles in high demand. I ended up buying Shining Wisdom and Iron Storm for $2.99 each while getting Saturn Bomberman for free. Talk about highway robbery! It was one HELL of a deal. I couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear as I drove home.

Hard to believe it's been nearly 12 years
Hard to believe it’s been nearly 12 years

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Here’s a shot of the actual Hollywood Video from my childhood town. Man, it brings back so many memories. The mountains in the back. How Target was right across the street and how just to the right of the Target sign stood a classic mom and pop rental shop by the name of Video Mart. One time my mom was shopping at Target while I sat on the little lawn right there by the Target sign, reading Goosebumps book #26, entitled My Hairiest Adventure. Man, for some reason that sticks out in my mind. Good innocent times from a bygone era. It’s really a shame that kids these days only know of Redbox and NetFlix. I like those modern conveniences too, but damn if it’ll ever match the pure joy and wonder of visiting the local rental store on a Saturday afternoon. If you were a kid growing up at any point between the ’80s to mid ’90s, it was a ritual and a way of life. There’s something incredibly sacred about those old video stores and memories that I cherish and hold near and dear to my heart. And always will.

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Here’s a shot of that same Hollywood Video that I captured on a cold rainy Monday night in January of 2006. Hollywood was one of my favorite stores to visit as a kid. I wasted hours going up and down the long aisles staring at the back of horror movie VHS boxes and gawking at the latest 16-bit video games. It was a big part of my childhood, and it saddens me that the kids of today will never know what it’s like to roam through a video store on a lazy Saturday afternoon. This particular Hollywood Video location finally died off in 2009. It was one of the last relics remaining from my youth. Thanks for the memories, Hollywood! Farewell dear old friend. Long live 16-bit and horror movie boxes!

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

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Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues holds a fairly distinct honor. To the best of my knowledge, it’s the only “movie sequel” game on the SNES that came out before the actual movie sequel itself. The Lost World: Jurassic Park didn’t come out in theaters until May 19, 1997.

Handy tips, especially the last one
Handy tips, especially the last one

THE STORY GOES…

Screw ya, Hammond! You chickenshit :P
Screw ya, Hammond! You little old chickenshit :P
The manual said "ASSES." Sorry, I'm easily amused...
The manual said ASSES. Sorry, I’m easily amused…

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Dodgson is a key figure in the book more than the film
Dodgson is a key figure in the book more than the film

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Little do the BioSyn soldiers know it's a suicide mission
Little do the BioSyn soldiers know it’s a suicide mission

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The soft glow of a full moon pierces the eerie night sky
The soft glow of a full moon pierces the eerie night sky

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"IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT!"
“IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT!”

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It's time to kick some dinosaur and BioSyn ass!
It’s time to kick some dinosaur and BioSyn ass!

It’s interesting that the intro focuses purely on the bad guys. That might be a first in SNES history. The best thing about this game is its 2 player co-op mode. Player 2 controls Michael Wolfskin, a character entirely made up for the sake of this game and has no canon to either the film or novel.

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Love how the raptor claws at the screen for the II mark
Love how a raptor claws at the screen for the II mark
You can even bring your partner back from the dead
You can even bring your partner back from the dead

The six weapons are split into two categories: lethal and non-lethal. Lethal guns will kill dinosaurs and humans. But here’s the kicker: there’s a dinosaur counter that keeps track of the dinosaur population inhabiting Isla Nublar. It starts at 100 and drops each time you kill a dinosaur (excluding raptors and the T-Rex). The game ends if the number drops too low. But the number also rises the more you kill them (due to natural reproduction). It is best then to maim dinosaurs with your non-lethal weapons. Note however that non-lethal weapons do zero damage to the humans. The good news? You start off with all six weapons and can switch on a dime. This may sound confusing but it’s pretty natural after playing it for a bit.

NON-LETHAL WEAPONS

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LETHAL WEAPONS

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THE MISSIONS

I appreciate the ability to pick and choose
I appreciate the ability to pick and choose

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Objectives are listed before entering a mission.

Alan Grant is agile and he can shoot diagonally
Alan Grant is quite agile and can shoot diagonally
Cattle prod and rifle have unlimited ammo (999)
Cattle prod and rifle both have unlimited ammo

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They ain't your dumb blind raptors from the first game
Not your dumb blind raptors from the first game…
See what I mean?
See what I mean?
John Hammond I swear... I will WHUP DAT ASS
John Hammond I swear… I will WHUP DAT ASS

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You activated the gas... now the clock ticks. Get out fast!
You activated the gas. Now the clock ticks. Get out!
The gas may be the least of your problems...
The gas may be the least of your problems…

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Awesome how you can leap from behind ladders and swing around them to latch on safely. It’s always the little details.

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Satisfying to pick off these bastards. Doing so will blow their sorry asses SKY HIGH. Boom.

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This came out in the early '90s. What a time to be a kid
This came out back in 1991. What a time to be a kid

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There was even almost a Toxic Crusaders game on the SNES. But it got canned before it could ever get off the ground. Despite the game looking kind of awful, I was disappointed it was never released. Call it morbid curiosity if nothing else.

Ah, the good old days
Ah, the good old days
They also appeared in Elevator Action Returns...
They also appeared in Elevator Action Returns

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Sigh... some people just never learn
Sigh… some people just never learn

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Contact with the steam gas results in pain
Contact with the steam gas results in pain
Best adrenaline rush in gaming BAR none. Sorry
Best adrenaline rush in gaming BAR none. Sorry
Use your non-lethals and watch out for falling rocks
Use your non-lethals and watch out for falling rocks
You're out there somewhere, Mac, thinking of me
You’re out there somewhere, Mac, thinking of me
"HERE WE ARE AGAIN, BRO... JUST YOU AND ME..."
“HERE WE ARE AGAIN, BRO… JUST YOU AND ME…”
"SAME KIND OF MOON, SAME KIND OF JUNGLE..."
“SAME KIND OF MOON, SAME KIND OF JUNGLE…”
Crap, we just found MOMMY
Crap, we just found MOMMY
This is the best looking level of the game
This is the best looking level of the game
Damn you, John Hammond
Damn you, John Hammond
I know that's you, John! Yer going down, HAMMOND!
“I know that’s you, John! Yer going down, HAMMOND!”

JuPar2-84

And hey, the mission is called "Protect the Gallimimus"
And hey, the mission is called “Protect the Gallimimus”

JuPar2-86

JuPar2-87

Shades of Metal Slug
Shades of Metal Slug

JuPar2-89

JuPar2-90

At least he didn't bust out the selfie stick
At least he didn’t bust out the selfie stick

[No walk in the Jurassic Park? Sorry -Ed.]
No walk in the Jurassic Park? No? I’ll see myself out
JuPar2-93JuPar2-93b

 

 

 

 

 

Emergency missions are a BITCH.

To make things worse, they're bloody TIMED
To make things worse, they’re bloody TIMED
Literally
Literally

JuPar2-96

JuPar2-97

JuPar2-98

Front and back attack. I felt that one
Front and back attack. God damn
Good luck
Good luck

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Where's Rodan when you need him?!
Where’s Rodan when you need him?!

Jurassic Park 2 received a whopping 6-page preview in EGM issue #65 (December 1994). The next month EGM gave it scores of 6, 7, 7 and 8. Super Play rated it 83%. The sequel didn’t get the hype or praise that the first game did, despite it being considerably better than the first one. The first game benefited from being based off the actual movie and naturally had more hype due to its timely release following the summer blockbuster. The fact that Jurassic Park 2 is the only SNES game (to the best of my knowledge) that is a sequel to a film that had yet to exist speaks to the mega brand of Jurassic Park. It makes Jurassic Park 2 a unique footnote in SNES history if nothing else. Speaking of unique, how many SNES games can you name that features a voice-laden intro?

JuPar2-102

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Guess he didn't see the Raptors Crossing sign
Guess he didn’t see the Raptors Crossing sign

Jurassic Park 2 has a little of the intense run ‘n gun action of Contra III but it’s also sprinkled with the exploratory aspects of Alien³. Oh and of course, plenty of dinosaurs. The visuals are quite good. Raptors look a thousand times more realistic and menacing than they did in the first game. Guns fly out of the hands of BioSyn soldiers as you mow them down. Some of the stages have a striking look. Sound and music is both rock solid with lots of nice loud explosions and unsettling dinosaur roars. The game is harder than a two dollar steak, however, and that may turn off some players. Memorization and knowing when to fire which gun is critical to success. Perseverance will lead to a fairly rewarding experience, especially if you can find a buddy to join in. Not too shabby, Ocean. Certainly a marked improvement over their first Jurassic Park outing.

"Um, can this thing please go faster?!"
“Um, can this thing please go faster?!”

However, the game is plagued by a few flaws. Similar to the first game, Jurassic Park 2 doesn’t employ a password system. It makes beating this game in one sitting a very daunting task. It’s a shame Ocean didn’t learn from their previous mistake. Also, the difficulty approaches unfair territory at times; the annoyingly timed emergency missions are a total pain in the ass. But if you’re willing to overlook these flaws then Jurassic Park 2 is a pretty solid two player dinosaur blasting romp. It doesn’t get talked about often and seems to have been largely forgotten. It’s not great, or even good perhaps, but it’s definitely a solid addition to any SNES library that already has everything else.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7
Longevity: 6

Overall: 7.0

"He'll never see me lying here..."
“He’ll never see me lying here…”
"AW SHIT"
“… AW SHIT!”

Your Friendly Neighborhood Nintendo Man

HomecomingPoster

Spider-Man: Homecoming hits theatres tomorrow on July 7, 2017. The masked superhero has a famous saying: “Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” It’s a perfect time to share a Nintendo story from my youth. It’s a story that’s going to be featured in Jeffrey Wittenhagen’s upcoming Nintendo book. Thank you Jeff for allowing me the honor to be a small part of another one of your great books. To all my readers here on RVGFanatic, here’s my story in full below! :)

Chilling right before the feature presentation :D
Chilling right before the feature presentation :D

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD NINTENDO MAN

NESFamily

I’m instantly bombarded by a tidal wave of memories whenever I think about the 8-bit Nintendo. Like so many others, I grew up on the NES in the late ‘80s. Born in 1983, I was just old enough to appreciate the NES when it started hitting its stride in North America circa 1987. I have fond memories of all those lazy carefree Sunday mornings spent playing the likes of Contra, Mega Man 2 and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! just to name a few. Nintendo help made my childhood fun and memorable. Back then gaming was a brand new experience to me. There were no fancy 3D graphics, no complex controller layouts and no lengthy 10 minute tutorials to sit through. The NES gave you two buttons; all you had to do was press start and you were good to go. Sometimes simplicity can’t be beat. There aren’t a lot of bells and whistles — the NES is proof that a game doesn’t have to be overly fancy or complicated in order to be great.

Contra
Contra
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 2
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

My uncle bought a Nintendo for me and my brother in 1987. I still remember the humble collection we managed to amass through the years…

Double Dragon
Double Dragon
Double Dragon II
Double Dragon II: The Revenge
Duck Hunt
Duck Hunt
Dynowarz
Dynowarz
Gotcha!
Gotcha!
Karnov
Karnov
Kung Fu
Kung Fu
Legendary Wings
Legendary Wings
Mighty Bomb Jack
Mighty Bomb Jack
Robo Warrior
Robo Warrior
Solomon's Key
Solomon’s Key
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 3
Super Mario Bros. 3
Tag Team Pro Wrestling
Tag Team Pro Wrestling
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
WWF WrestleMania
WWF WrestleMania

My childhood is filled with fond memories of myself, Uncle Jimmy and my brother Kevin switching off for hours on end as we sat glued to our television set playing the latest NES titles. Hell, the NES was the ORIGINAL Nintendo “Switch.” After all, those halcyon days were all about switching off with my brother and uncle on Contra as we attempted to save the universe on a nightly basis back in the summer of 1989. Hanging out with my uncle and brother blasting alien scum to Kingdom Come was some of the greatest times of my childhood.

Gotta kill 'em all!
Gotta kill ‘em all!

Another fond memory I carry with me were all the rental stores that populated my area. There had to be a good 10 video stores all within a 30 mile radius back in the late ‘80s where I lived. From the established titans of the industry (Blockbuster) to all the little quirky mom and pop shops, it was an entertainment mecca with more goodies than you could watch or play to cover the span of ten lifetimes.

My actual childhood Hollywood Video!
My actual childhood Hollywood Video!

My favorite store of the lot hands down was Evergreen Video. I blame Evergreen Video and its owner, Tom, just a common man working hard for the American dream, as the source that corrupted me. One day in the late ’80s my dad was driving me and my brother around. We spotted Evergreen Video by chance when we made a pit stop in a small plaza to pick up a few items. I had never seen Evergreen Video before but on that day there it stood. Its big bold green letters silently called out to me and my brother, beckoning us over. We found ourselves breaking into a brisk stroll as we made a beeline for the store, our legs suddenly on a mission of their own.

The renting craze began that fateful day
The renting craze began on that fateful day

I can still hear the little chime that rung each time someone entered the store. It was a quaint shop with lots of family videos. You were immediately greeted upon entry by four tall wooden shelves that began near the entrance and ended close to the register counter, which sat roughly 60-70 feet straight ahead. Two columns of towering tan shelves rested on each side of the store, freeing the middle aisle for a clear walk to the counter and a good look at the man who owned the store, Tom. Rocking brown rimmed spectacles and a beard like it was 2014, Tom became something of an uncle figure to me and Kevin. You would often find Tom invariably sporting a flannel shirt of one kind or another. In fact, he was the spitting image of Al Borland (played by Richard Karn) from the ‘90s TV sitcom, Home Improvement, only with glasses.

Tom looked a lot like Richard Karn with glasses
Tom looked a lot like Richard Karn (with glasses)

Up front and to the right sat a small wooden shelf. There Tom kept his collection of 30-40 NES games. Tucked away in a corner, it was this little heavenly nook that my brother and I always made a mad scramble for every Saturday afternoon. The smell of the oak wood shelves permeates to this day. If there was ever a quintessential mom and pop rental store, Evergreen Video surely was it.

Evergreen's NES selection was quaint but inviting
Evergreen’s NES selection was quaint but inviting

Tom worked there every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. And no matter what, we could always count on seeing his big smile greeting us behind the register counter whenever he saw us trampling in. I still remember some of the games I rented from Evergreen Video…

Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice
TMNT II: The Arcade Game
TMNT II: The Arcade Game
Totally Rad
Totally Rad
Werewolf
Werewolf: The Last Warrior

… just to name some. Back then there was no YouTube or anything to really scope these games out. You basically rented them on a whim based on the cover art and how cool the back of the box looked. It made for hit and miss rentals and some crazy times. You just never knew what you were going to get. In some regard it was almost like the Wild Wild West back then!

Some boxes look great but the game, not so much
Some boxes look great but the game, not so much
I was a sucker for them bright yellow covers!
I was a sucker for them bright yellow covers!

There was a certain purity to those days that I miss. The same can be said for the purity that courses through the 8-bit veins of the NES itself. Timing is everything in life — the Nintendo and the late ’80s simply went hand in hand and everything else that came along with it, including mom and pop shops.

NESSystem

Tom was so good to us; he even held games for me and Kevin. My brother would call and ask for a game and if Tom had said game then he would hold it for us. I remember him telling us once, with a big smile, “Only for you guys.” Maybe he said that to every kid customer of his, but damnit I like to think he meant what he said. And I don’t doubt that he did because that’s just the kind of guy Tom was.

He always served with a smile
He always served with a smile

There’s one story in particular that I’ll never forget. One time we came in to pick up TMNT II: The Arcade Game. We met Tom’s son that day. He was playing the game on the small TV that sat behind the register counter. I felt so bad when he was forced to turn the game off just so we could rent it. He was on the snowfield level battling the wolf boss, Tora. I remember Tora flashing and blinking red as Tom told his very own flesh and blood, “Sorry but these boys need to rent the game now.” I’ll never forget the poor kid looking absolutely crushed, wanting to carry on like any TMNT loving kid would, but he respected his dad far too much to disobey. I always felt guilty about that! Tom had this incredible knack of making me and Kevin feel like we were part of his family. It was top-notch service the likes of which you can’t buy. The kind of genuine service you can only find at a mom and pop shop.

Man I still feel guilty about it!
Man I still feel guilty about this!

Being huge fans of Double Dragon II, Kevin and I couldn’t wait for Double Dragon III. When it finally arrived in early 1991, my dad took us to Evergreen Video to rent a copy. The drive home was filled with visions of spinning roundhouse kicks and crazy throws galore, but alas, when we popped the game in it refused to play for some reason. My dad promptly called Evergreen Video to inform Tom about the situation and Tom told us to come back for a no-frills exchange. We ended up picking Battletoads as a replacement rental. While we were disappointed that we couldn’t play the eagerly anticipated Double Dragon III, we made the most out of that weekend. More importantly, Tom’s great customer service and integrity once again shined like a thousand stars shimmering in the night sky.

Good times. Hard times too
Battletoads kept us entertained

But here’s the part that blows my mind. A few weeks later we made our usual Saturday afternoon trek to Evergreen Video. Tom surprised us when he revealed a brand new copy of Double Dragon III — reserved just for us! He said he was waiting on us to come by because he knew how disappointed we were that his previous copy didn’t work. He wanted to make things right, but he already did that with the Battletoads exchange. It exemplifies the kind of upstanding man Tom was. He always went above and beyond the call of duty. If Yelp existed back in 1991, Evergreen Video would have gotten 5 stars all day! As for Double Dragon III, let’s just say some sequels disappoint.

Bittersweet memories...
Bittersweet memories…

Early 1992 was an interesting time. There was a changing of the guard. You could feel the shift in the winds, and you could see the writing on the wall. The 8-bit NES was being phased out for the brand new 16-bit Super Nintendo. And with it, Evergreen Video. Business wasn’t booming for Tom in early 1992 as it was in the late ’80s. When the Super Nintendo came to the US in late 1991, Tom bought some SNES games to keep up with the times. I rented Ultraman and sadly that was the last game I would ever rent from Evergreen Video. The beginning of one era (the SNES) marked the ending for another (Evergreen Video).

The end of an era
The infamous last game I rented

One innocuous Saturday afternoon in early 1992 my dad took me and Kevin to Evergreen Video to return Ultraman. Unfortunately, that trip proved to be our last. Tom told us he and the family were moving on. But because I was so young I didn’t really grasp his heartfelt admission. I just assumed he would still be there next Saturday and the Saturday after that. Because it’s Tom. And that’s what Tom does. After all, he’s your friendly neighborhood Nintendo man.

EGVUM

But reality crushed me when my mom took me shopping in that same plaza a week later. I stole a glance inside the remains of Evergreen Video. What was once a simple but lovely store that provided me with so many good memories was now a broken, fragmented shell of its former glory. A part of me expected to still see the wooden shelves and Tom’s friendly mug situated behind the register counter. Instead, what I found that day was an empty store torn down in shambles, the floor littered with debris. I felt like crying as I peered in through the glass pane. I lost a little bit of innocence that day. From that moment on I forever realized that things don’t last forever, no matter how much you want them to.

A harrowing sight indeed
A harrowing sight indeed

The last time I visited that plaza was June 2008. I had just graduated from college with a teaching credential. My cousins wanted to celebrate the occasion by eating at a Chinese restaurant. Of all the places they could have chosen, of course it had to be at a restaurant in that small plaza near the defunct remains of Evergreen Video. But of course. It was a surreal night. I just graduated from college and was looking forward to the future. But returning to that childhood plaza for the first time in what had to be over a decade got me far more emotional than I thought possible. After dinner my cousins declared a movie night at their place. But having unfinished business, I told them I would drop by later. As they drove off I stood outside the restaurant all by my lonesome. I slowly turned my gaze to the classic spot where Evergreen Video once proudly stood ages ago. My heart started racing as I knew what stood before me: I was on the verge of facing a huge part of my childhood for quite possibly the last time ever. I knew what I had to do…

"Man, where does the time go, Doc?"
It was a surreal night. Unbelievably surreal

The building was vacant. I peered inside as memories came flooding back. I saw a montage in my own mind playing. Rushing in, pushing the door open, hearing the chime of the bell and being greeted by Tom’s friendly smile. Making a beeline for the NES games, admiring the art on the boxes and hoping you would pick a good game to play for that weekend. All those images flashed in my mind one after the other. And then I was snapped back to reality. I said a quick silent thank you to Tom. Turning my back to the store, I stood there for a minute to take in the cool early evening air.

Taking it all in
Taking it all in… one last final time

I reminisced about the past while also eagerly anticipating the future. I had just graduated and was on my way to achieving my childhood dream of having my own classroom, my own students to teach and to be a positive male influence in their lives. Not unlike how Tom was to me all those years ago in his own unique way. Alas, as the final shards of sunlight pierced the storefront, I decided that was enough reflection for one night. Placing my childhood memories back in the box, I texted my cousins that I was heading over and made my way to my car. I stole one last glance at the place where Evergreen Video once stood tall and proud. I gave Evergreen Video one final knowing nod as the engine roared. The night was still young… and so was I.

There was an eerie stillness to the night
Farewell, Evergreen Video. Thanks for the memories

That fateful June evening of 2008 was the last time I visited that small plaza where Evergreen Video once stood. It’s crazy that it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve been back to that area. I’ve since gone on to fulfill my dreams of becoming a teacher. I like to think Tom, wherever he is, would be proud of me. To this day I have no idea where he is or even what he’s up to. I never knew his last name. It’s been over 25 years since I last saw the man. It’s sad to think there’s even a chance he may no longer be alive. But wherever he is, in whatever state or space, I hope he’s doing well and at peace.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"... well, it was nice meeting ya"
Happy trails, Tom

Tom was a uncle figure to me and Kevin growing up, and Evergreen Video became much more than a mom and pop video store. It was a connection and bond held between strangers turned family. A bond that formed much like the bond that video games can help forge between people from different walks of life. And the NES certainly did that. Whenever I think back to my childhood, I invariably think about the NES, Tom and Evergreen Video. It was a different era. A simpler time. I’m grateful that I got to experience gaming’s golden age growing up. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Long live Nintendo, and long live the memories of Tom and Evergreen Video.

Check out Jeff's book for even more NES stories!
Check out Jeff’s book for even more NES stories!

Super C (NES)

Contra is back, and boy is it tougher than ever
Contra is back, and boy is it tougher than ever

Last Saturday night I was inspired to fire up the old NES for the first time in ages. I still love the system to this day but in terms of actually playing it, it’s been a while. I don’t get to game as much as I’d like these days due to work getting busier and busier, but when I do game I tend to play my Super Nintendo. But last Saturday I had the strangest and strongest urge to revisit my old friend, and my old flame, the 8-bit Nintendo. The first game I played? Super C. Now back in the day I recall playing it briefly, but never thoroughly, and I was adamant on changing that. The game initially kicked my ass until I enabled a few Game Genie cheats to help see me through. Normally I try to beat a game fair and square but I had no guilt here. I just wanted to see all of the crazy levels. This was my journey through hell and back.

Note: Credit vgmuseum.com for these pictures.

Note 2: This past weekend I also published reviews for NES Contra and Contra III: The Alien Wars. Be sure to check them out, too.

Love the orange purple sky
Love the orange purple sky
You descend upon Hell on Earth
You descend upon Hell on Earth

superc-5

Super C came out April 1990, two full years before Contra III: The Alien Wars. I can kind of see where the influences for Contra III‘s first level emanates from. Some of these sights here look awfully familar. Hmmm….

I do miss the classic foot soldiers
I miss the classic foot soldiers
They finally shoot back for a change
They just had a little more style and pizzazz to them
It ain't Contra if it doesn't have a turret
The soldiers run pretty fast
More turrets to take out
More turrets to take out
Forge on ahead
Forge on ahead

The first stage is pretty solid. Sure that first boss isn’t anything mind-blowing or ultra memorable, but I love how after you destroy all the turrets a red beating orb appears in the middle for you to gun down. It sets the stage as a lot of the bosses have compartments or turrets to take out first.

Hey, a top down level!
Hey, a top down level!
Shades of Contra III
Shades of Contra III

Indeed, playing Super C is like peering into the future. Some of Contra III‘s levels and ideas seem to derive somewhat from Super C.

It's also a bit Heavy Barrel-esque
It’s also a bit Heavy Barrel-esque
More turrets
This game has turrets syndrome
A pretty fun romp all in all
A pretty fun romp all in all
A simple but effective boss
A simple but effective boss
Shades of Contra's jungle
Shades of Contra‘s jungle
In the jungle the lion sleeps... TO-NIGHT [... -Ed.]
I do prefer the original, but it’s nice to see the nod
It's too flat for my liking
It’s too flat for my liking

It is. The first game’s jungle had lots of different platforms to jump on or off of. This jungle version lacks that. It’s pretty much a straight flat shot through, and that takes away a lot of the fun and intrigue. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a fun level to work your way through, but it’s just not as fascinating as the original.

Mandatory water bit
Mandatory water bit
You can feel a mid boss coming
You can feel a mid boss coming
What did I tell ya?
What did I tell ya?
Bloody collapsing floors!
Bloody collapsing floors!
COMPARTMENTS R US!
COMPARTMENTS R US!
The bubbles are deadly
The bubbles are deadly
It gets rather hard here
It starts to get rather hard here
The 'Eagle Men' are back!
I’ve seen you before…
Going in deep now...
Well I’ll be damned
So many guns...
It’s hard to keep a weapon long

I keep dying and end back up with the weak pea shooter. Did I mention this game is double tough?

Interesting boss...
Decent boss but c’mon Konami

The plates come down one at a time and it’s pretty fun to navigate successfully, but I want some more monsters in my Contra bosses, damnit.

Going into the great wide unknown
Going into the wide unknown
Reminiscent of the Waterfall stage
Shades of the Waterfall stage

contranl3-a

I do prefer the Waterfall level in Contra over this one in Super C, but that has been a running theme, no?

Shit gets real here
Shit gets real here
Unbelievably tough
Unbelievably tough
It's not fair...
It’s not fair…
Bombs away!
Bombs away!
Oooh, creepy and ominous
Oooh, creepy and ominous
Alright, I'm digging this
Alright, I’m digging this
Points for something new
Points for something new
How do you not die here?
How do you not die here?
You can't hold me back, Trump!
You can’t hold me back, Trump!
You looking good, Donald
You looking good there, Donald
Now wait a second...
Now wait a second…
You've hit the motherload, Jimbo
You can see the influences Super C had on Contra III
This is not gonna be good...
This is not gonna be good…
This must be Hell all right
This must be Hell all right
Neat bit where you shoot down
Neat bit where you shoot down
It's those spider scorpions!
More ALIEN than ever before!
You remind me of an old pal
You remind me of an old friend
Who could forget the Demon that guarded the top of the Waterfalls?
Who could ever forget this massive monstrosity?
I must have lost 50 lives here
I must have lost 50 lives here
Finally a moment to breathe
Finally a moment to breathe
Rest time is over
Rest time is over
Awesome mini-boss. They don't make 'em like they used to!
Shame they didn’t bring back the demonic giraffe
Super C: Super Cheap?
Super C: Super Cheap?

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Now wait a second...
A worthy sequel albeit super hard

It was nice to finally go through this game last Saturday, even if I did have to enable a cheat code in order to do so. I managed to finish the game with precisely one life remaining. I doubt that I could ever legit beat this game, even if I were to devote 20 years to mastering this game. I love a good hard challenge but this game seems to cross the line and wander into super cheap territory. I do like it a lot, but I just wish it weren’t so damn difficult. It’s so hard that for me it takes away some of the fun if you’re playing this as is. I know there is a camp of Contra fans who prefer Super C to the original. But for me the original will never be touched, outside of Contra III: The Alien Wars that is. Still, Super C stands as a worthy sequel and it’s cool to see the influences it would come to have in Contra III.

Ranking the first three Contra games (Contra Force doesn’t bloody count).

1. Contra III: The Alien Wars
2. Contra
3. Super C

PS- Remember the creepy commercial? See below.

Contra (NES)

It's the game that got me into games -- for life
An essential video game of the ’80s, Contra stands the test of time

For many kids growing up in the mid-late 1980s it was all about Mario and his chums. I was a fan myself, but the one game that really cemented me as a video game fan for life was Konami’s Contra. The gun-slinging, alien-shooting atmosphere was off the charts, with incredible graphics, sound and gameplay. And unlike Mario, two could play at once. In short, it was a senses-shattering, adrenaline-filled action thriller. It was the kind of game you talked to your buds about on the playground at recess. The kind you never get tired of beating again and again, provided you had a friend firing alongside you every step of the way.

Tonight we take a trip down memory lane, recalling along the way the memorable nasties, the unforgettable little moments, and why this game has stood the test of time.

A FREAKY COINCIDENCE

This tribute piece was originally written almost 10 years ago now, back on February 9, 2008. As I was writing it, I decided to search when Contra was first released on the NES. I kid you not, the date was *drum roll please* February 9, 1988. So exactly 20 years later, to the very day, I was commemorating Contra. It’s one of those freaky coincidences that prove there are indeed greater and mysterious forces at work here.

I made this back on February 9, 2008
I made this back on February 9, 2008

And although RVGFanatic is mainly a platform where I share my passion for all things Super Nintendo, I’m happy to occasionally honor games that didn’t appear on the SNES at all. Contra is the first game of a brand new section on the site entitled “Random Retro.” And I can’t think of a finer first game than this.

THE INFAMOUS KONAMI CODE

Who could ever forget this?
Who could ever forget this?

Ah the classic Konami code which gave you 30 men. Ask any serious Nintendo fan about the code and they’ll recite it for ya on cue (select, start for 2 players).

THE JUNGLE

contranl1

The first stage is the very memorable jungle romp. Indeed, it was always amusing to us young kids how your guy was as big as the trees themselves!

contranl1-a

One of the great things you first notice are all the convenient angles you can fire at. It made you never look at games where the hero could only shoot across quite the same ever again, yeah?

contranl1-b

For some reason this silly mechanical bridge really captivated my imagination as a youth. My brother and I would often see who could cross it successfully, sort of a game-within-a-game type thing, yeah.

contranl1-c

Uh, yeah, I meant to fall off that collapsing bridge. Of course I did…

contranl1-d

Each time I saw him my mind would wander to such thoughts as “How did he luck out to get that hiding spot? It sure beats running in the wide open like some kamikaze soldier!” Ah, the thoughts we had as kids, eh?

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about
Now THAT’S what I’m talking about
I know I sure haven't
I know I sure haven’t

This first towering boss really set the tone for what the rest of the game would turn out to be. Contra simply tickles the imagination. It’s a world where massive monstrosities call home and where being a deft action megastar is the only ticket out alive.

This was an amazing sight back in 1988!
This was an amazing sight back in 1988!

At the end of the jungle lies this humongous base. I remember thinking what a huge boss it was at that time, and if I wasn’t sold yet, I was now. A sucker for any sort of elaborate Lego base or set, I was blown away by how cool this imposing structure appeared.

First order of business is to eliminate the entry soldier up top. Next, take out the two turrets, which spits out lovely red gumballs. Seriously, was I the only one who thought they looked like giant red gumballs?

Always love me a good spread
Always love me a good spread

Indeed. After clearing the two turrets, wipe the base plate out and proceed onto level two. What great horrors and thrills await you there?

BASE ONE

contrashot2

This scene blew my mind back in 1988. It was like nothing I had ever seen before on the ole 8-bit NES. Like all of the game’s levels, to this day I can hum level two’s theme.

Simply riveting stuff back in '88
My imagination ran wild at the horrors laying ahead
Wow, this was mind blowing back in '88!
Wow, this was mind blowing back in ’88!

Boss number two is yet another awe-worthy gigantic structure. First you must blow away the pods. Once you do, look at the black screen for a good luck message… or at least yet another notable boss, anyhow.

Shades of Cobra from G.I. Joe!
Shades of Cobra from G.I. Joe!

Oh I know you can hear the music right about now, yes? Don’t deny it. You can even recall the sound that occurs every time you die, can’t you? Good stuff. Except that dying part, though.

We called this boss “Snakey” or “Snake Breath.” No explanation needed… just look at him! To this day I can see him zooming across his tiny black space back and forth, desperately spewing his venomous breath. This game was chalk full with memorable bosses. They stay with you even nearly 30 years later. Jeez!

WATERFALL

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Stage three… gotta make your way up to the top of this treacherous mountain. Keep your eyes peeled and your guns ready.

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The classic rocks-falling-down bit. Remember to keep pace with player 2
(if applicable). The bottom of the screen in 2-player mode acts as sort of an invisible pool of burning lava.

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Another cool part. Those two small fires move back and forth while turrets and soldiers from above try their damnedest to take you out.

Thankfully you’ve got that invulnerable icon there…

Capitalizing on the Running Man trend of the late '80s!
Capitalizing on the Running Man phenomenon!

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After a lengthy and arduous journey some 5,000 feet up this mountain top, you have to deal with the guardian from Hell…

MIND.OFFICIALLY.BLOWN
MAMA MIA!

YIKES! What a beast this guy is. Nobody could do bosses quite like Konami. That was their M.O., no? First you gotta take out his two limbs.

MIND.OFFICIALLY.BLOWN
MIND.OFFICIALLY.BLOWN

Then once that’s done, blow his gawd damn jaw off! You can actually position yourself where you’re able to hit him and he just misses you. An easy bloke, but a damn impressive and highly unforgettable one. He’s one of my favorite bosses of all time. I remember my reaction the first time my bro and I saw him: “WHOA!”

Beat him and proceed safely to level four. Wow, we’re not even halfway through and already this game is killing it! No wonder it’s one of the best games of all time.

BASE TWO

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A reprise of level two, but a bit tougher and nastier. Don’t touch the electric ropes, and don’t stay in one spot for too long!

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I just love that vast bleakness up ahead, as well as the little specks of red there. A really nice touch that makes it seem very ominous, indeed. Really accentuates the feeling of stepping into the great wide unknown…

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Watch out for the dough rollers as I used to call it back in the day. Hey, that’s what they looked like to me!

Blackness peppered with ominous red... oooh
Blackness peppered with ominous red… oooh
Konami you bastards. You did it again
Konami you bastards. You did it again

This is what lies ahead! Just like the boss of level two, except now with two heads to contend with! Again, you must destroy the pods. Some Eagle Men (as we kids called them) swoop down upon you in the process.

This was a somewhat tough boss as the little bubble shots it spewed required impeccable skill to successfully dodge. In typical classic boss fashion, once weakened, it’ll start to flash red.

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Damn right it reminded me of the Autobots and Decepticons. Man, you had Transformers, Nintendo and bloody Hulk Hogan all ruling the ’80s. What a time to be alive, eh?

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Pretty damn similar, no? I liked how the red brain pulsated harder and harder the weaker it got. It made it more intense as if the thing was going to explode into a million bloody pieces!

SNOWFIELD

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Brrr… you may not need a jacket but you will need lots of skill and luck.

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Oh sure he seems harmless enough. But then factor in foot soldiers running up your back end [that sounds… painful -Ed.] and suddenly it’s not so easy now is it?

Not Yoda. Just only way to fit that text in, ha!
Not Yoda. That’s just so that the text can fit, ha!
They finally shoot back for a change
They finally shoot back for a change
Yah, you definitely need a potent firearm, or two players!
You definitely need a potent firearm, or two players!
We kids called this the UFO Boss. Creative, huh?
We kids called this the UFO Boss. Creative, huh?

ENERGY ZONE

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I like how each of the game’s locales has a slightly different look and feel. Aside from the two base stages, no two levels look alike. Gotta appreciate that.

Patience is required in level six
Patience is required in level six due to these flames
Awesome set piece!
Awesome set piece! Stay focused, or else…
Run through them like a knife through hot butter
Run through them like a knife through hot butter

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Remember Larami Corp’s Super Soaker lineup? Very popular stuff circa 1992-’93. First there was the orange Super Soaker 50 if memory serves right, then the OMG ultra-cool Super Soaker 100 which EVERY kid on my block had to have. My bro was the first to buy one and of course, he became a legend within our circle of friends. Good times.

They don't make 'em like they used to
They don’t make ‘em like they used to

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Little subtle touches like this tile floor changing colors right before a gigantic boss fight don’t go unnoticed. It’s the little details that make a game for me.

Well said
Well said

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Nobody did bosses like Konami did. You could say that they were the boss of that domain… [You’re fired -Ed.]

Somebody's been eating their Wheaties
Somebody’s been eating their Wheaties

Good ole 1988-1989. The year I was in Kindergarten. At the table with the big white styrofoam blocks I would share my tales with my friends of the battles I had with the “50 foot tall purple and orange alien monster.” My friends looked on with eyes wide open, urging me to continue my story. Just imagine this little six-year-old story teller will ya!

On a side note, back in 2008 I visited my old Kindergarten classroom to help out for a day. The teacher, remarkably, in her old age still somehow remembered me: an impromptu 20 year reunion! It was simply surreal. I looked over at the corner and saw that 1989 scene replay in my head — where I was weaving magic by the campfire about this Contra baddie. Mmm. Some things just stay with you forever.

HANGAR

This was my favorite stage of them all
This was my favorite stage of them all

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The imagery this level had was highly compelling to say the very least. Rolling mine carts, trident-esque hooks, hi-tech computer-y interior… there was just something about it that left a lasting impression.

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I love the spiked walls that would pop out of the ground. Sometimes weapons may get caught in-between as well. It’s a small detail, but they really do add up.

[Psssst. Manute Bol FTW -Ed.]
[Shoot. Manute Bol FTW. R.I.P. big man -Ed.]
Remember, I made these pics back in 2008!
Remember, I made these pics back in early 2008!
DUM DA DUM DUM!
DUM DA DUM DUM!
I love these damn spiked walls too much
I love these damn spiked walls too much
Contra is one macho video game
Damn right it is!

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You know, I think Konami might have been obsessed a little bit with stars. Almost every stage is outdoors and features stars. Red, orange, green, blue…

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Foot soldiers come trampling out the door and from behind, all while the turrets below sprout up fireworks. Two players really come in handy here, believe that!

ALIEN LAIR

Stage 8 is short and sweet
Stage 8 is short and sweet

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Ah yes, who could ever forget this epic mini-boss. We called him “The Long Neck Alien Monster” — catchy, huh? I remember not being able to eat shrimp for a while after seeing this monstrosity for the very first time!

Like I said, I made these pics back in 2008...
Like I said, I made these pics back in 2008…

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This last level didn’t host very many baddies but they were all  memorable due to their distinctly demented nature. As well as they should be, seeing as how the level takes place in an alien’s lair. It perfectly captures the foreboding mood of a giant mother alien waiting for you at level’s end…

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This is it. The final stand, the last whistle. My brother and I always had to kill all four pods before attacking the heart; it’s much more fun that way. Destroy the Red Falcon‘s heart to restore peace to the universe.

"ONE OF US HAS TO DIE!!!"
“ONE OF US HAS TO DIE!!!”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Thanks for all the memories, Contra
Thanks for all the memories, Contra

NES Contra remains one of my all-time favorite video games. I credit it as the game that hooked me for life. I always enjoyed video games prior to playing Contra, but it was Contra that blew my mind in a way no other video game before it was able to do. My brother Kevin, my uncle Jimmy and I played it to death. Though oddly, as much as we loved it, we never bought it back in the day. But thanks to a mom ‘n pop shop called Evergreen Video, we must have rented it half a dozen times. Plus borrowing our friend’s copy, but of course we had to loan him our copy of Legendary Wings – a fair trade if there ever was one ;)

Contra steamrolled its competition in 1988
Contra steamrolled its competition in 1988

Each of the eight stages have their own unique quirks and little details you can’t help but fondly remember. It’s the sign of not just a great game, but one that somehow sticks with you for a lifetime. They are far and few between. Playing Contra is akin to going about your daily routine as usual, only to inhale a whiff of a comforting scent that takes you back to a certain period in your youth. A much calmer time when things weren’t so hectic and chaotic. A more innocent time if you will. Contra conjures memories of ’80s yore, and reminds you of why you love video games in the first place.

Where's Godzilla when ya need him?!
Where’s Godzilla when ya need him?!

Who could forget the sights and sounds? Konami were maestros. 25+ years later the tunes are still stuck in my head, and the bosses are firmly planted in my heart. Nobody could do bosses like Konami. They knew just how to spark your imagination, and really brought the enemies and end level guardians to life. Never have I played a game where we talked about the bosses as much as we did with Contra. They were awe-inspiring, gruesome and unforgettable. Killing them always felt so satisfying, and if you were anything like me, you shared “war stories” about it with your friends as if it were a genuine badge of honor. The game had, and still has, that special connection with gamers the world over. That is partly why we cherish it so, even nearly 30 years later.

Until we meet again, my friend...
Until we meet again, my friend…

From telling my friends in Kindergarten about my battles with the 50 foot tall purple and orange monster to the many nights my brother, uncle and I spent locked up in the gaming room blowing up alien chunks, I will never forget the fond memories I have of Contra. But it’s not just nostalgia talking. This is still a damn EXCELLENT game. One of the best on the 8-bit Nintendo in my humble estimation. Its gameplay fares well to this day, and it has a unique aura about it all its own. Mario? Yeah don’t get me wrong, the Italian plumber is cool and all, but here’s the game that made me a video game fan for life. Here’s the game that turned boys into men. And here’s the game that damnit, just might be my favorite NES game of all time.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get back to blasting some alien ass. Boo-yah!