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Goof Troop (SNES)

***Pub & Dev: Capcom | July 1993 | 4 MEGS***

Capcom has a long track record with their video game adaptations of the Disney Afternoon. With solid hits on the NES such as the Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers series, Darkwing Duck and the DuckTales games, as a kid back in the early ’90s it was exciting to ponder the 16-bit possibilities. Capcom’s first Disney Afternoon game on the SNES was Goof Troop. But rather than doing your typical platformer (as was so often the case with these sort of games), Capcom decided to switch things up a bit. Goof Troop features top-down action with puzzle elements thrown in for good measure. Some even say that Goof Troop is slightly reminiscent of a more streamlined Zelda. Obviously it’s nowhere as fantastic as Link to the Past but just being able to draw those pseudo comparisons speaks to the game’s quality. There are only five short levels but it’s a sweet ride while it lasts. Best of all, a 2-player option allows you and a buddy to play as the father-son duo of Goofy and Max. Use brawn and brains alike to rescue Pete and PJ from an awful pirate kidnapping. Not merely an action affair, it’s a bit of a thinking man’s game with just enough brain teasers to satisfy beyond the typical SNES action game.

THE DISNEY AFTERNOON

Being a kid in the early ’90s rocked. Thanks to awesome video games (the NES and later the 16-bit war) and television programming (TGIF and the Disney Afternoon), growing up back then was a magical and special time indeed. The Disney Afternoon made its debut on September 10, 1990. It ran four 30 minute cartoon shows from the 3 to 5 o’clock hour. For two hours, right after school, grade school kids would just plop themselves in front of their TV to watch great Disney cartoons such as DuckTales, Darkwing Duck, Aladdin and Gargoyles just to name some. Fridays were the best because it signaled the end of the school week and you celebrated it by watching two hours of the Disney Afternoon followed later that night by two hours of TGIF (with classic shows such as Family Matters and Full House). It was the perfect veg out way to kick off a kid’s glorious weekend. And that happened EVERY Friday back in the early to mid ’90s. Man, TV was the shit back then!

Goop Troop made its Disney Afternoon debut during season 3 (1992-1993). Premiering on September 5, 1992, Goof Troop ran for nearly 80 episodes. It also had two feature length movies produced (A Goofy Movie in 1995 and An Extremely Goofy Movie in 2000). Goof Troop focuses on the father-son relationship between single father Goofy and his son, Max. Along with the always entertaining neighbor, Pete (and his own family), Goof Troop was a great show and one of my favorites. The father-son aspect made it unique and special.

The first one is really good and underrated

But perhaps the best thing about Goof Troop was its stellar intro. Cartoons used to have the best songs and intros, and Goof Troop was no exception. I mean, just check it out for yourself!

It’s a crime not to like that.

So being a huge fan of the show, I was thrilled to no ends when I started seeing Goof Troop previews in the pages of GameFan back in 1993. The SNES was getting its first Disney Afternoon game at long last. Although I was disappointed we never got a DuckTales or Darkwing Duck game on the Super Nintendo, I was grateful for Goof Troop.

Thanks for all the memories, Disney Afternoon!

ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER

As the show’s theme song goes, “We’re the Goof Troop, and we always stick together.” The 2-player mode is teamwork personified. Look no further than being able to toss objects back and forth as desired.

HELPFUL ITEMS

Up to two tools can be carried at any time. Should you already have two and want to pick up a new item, you’ll swap the currently selected one with the new one.

THE STORY GOES…

Another gorgeous sunny day in Spoonerville, Goofy and company headed out to the ocean for some fishing. Cruising for the big ones in open water, Pete and PJ were suddenly caught in the ominous shadow of a gigantic ship.

Victims of a pirate kidnapping, the towering ship set sail for Spoonerville Island. Goofy and Max rowed for all they were worth but they couldn’t catch the pirate ship before it landed on the island. Determined to save their friends, Goofy and Max set out to explore the island and find the pirate stronghold.

Presentation is simple yet slick in that classic Capcom way. Goofy is slower and stronger while Max is faster and weaker. When playing with a friend, I recommend Goofy for the more experienced player and Max for the other (Max’s speed makes life easier for novices).

LEVEL ONE: THE BEACH

Spoonerville Island consists of five levels. After landing on shore, an islander is ready to greet you and offer a few tips.

Cherries add hearts to your life. Grab the hookshot. Then talk to the islander and go on your merry way.

Enemies are defeated when you throw boulders and blocks at them. The same goes for snakes, except the hookshot can conveniently thwart their efforts as well.

Barrels and pots are fair game, too. Goof Troop has its fair share of puzzles. These usually consist of the “kick the blocks in the square” variety. The first one is easy peasy but they gradually tick up in difficulty.

Shovels allow you to dig for goodies. Certain blocks can be kicked, taking out any enemy caught in its path.

Unable to cross the bridge due to the gap, you spy a board lying in the far corner. You’ll have to work your way around in order to grab it, but once you do, you’ll be able to pass to the next section.

There’s something satisfying about clearing a room of its enemies and using your hookshot to grab the items.

Puzzles grow increasingly harder. Love the palm trees. A nice touch, for sure.

Puzzles, though they increase in difficulty, never get too out of hand. Nothing that a little staring contemplatively at the screen won’t solve!

Kicking a block into a bad guy never gets old.

Remember Whac-A-Mole? The first boss, Jester Hole, is a lot like that. Except you catch their barrels (and even bombs) and throw it back at their sorry faces. A password is given once you clear the stage, along with a tally of your time.

LEVEL TWO: THE VILLAGE

Questioning the jester goons on the whereabouts of Pete and PJ, we come to find out that the pirates mistook Pete for Keelhaul Pete, Pete’s evil pirate doppelgänger. This leads our heroes to the local village for answers where they’re immediately greeted by a pair of not-so-friendly locals. No rest for the wicked!

Another puzzle but this time the stakes are raised. You have to solve it while avoiding the fireballs.

Snakes are no match for the hookshot. Enemies get a little tougher as the game progresses — those guys can heave their swords at you!

Lollygag here and you’re screwed!

Hookshot can be used to cross gaps or procure goodies far away. Nice.

Rolling enemies are fast and deadly. Better slip into an alcove for safety. The second boss, Fire Bug, makes Dhalsim green with envy.

Beware of the torches. After exhausting the barrels at the bottom of the screen, you’ll have to catch incoming barrels from the locals.

LEVEL THREE: THE FORTRESS

Damnit, almost under 20 minutes. Always fun to try and best your time. Goofy and Max find themselves standing before a huge fortress. Goofy suggests knocking but Max knows it’s going to take more than that…

Maybe not that much more, though.

Cannonballs come firing in different directions. Spikes come into play as well. Keep an eye on that armored suit… it’ll spring to life!

Darkness reigns in some rooms, so find the candle to widen the scope.

Harvest Moon, Goofy wants to audition!

Casually strolling by with not a care in the world like only Goofy can. Catch the bombs and give it a taste of its own medicine.

Armored suits resurrect unless you damage them when they’re down. By the way, notice the crack in the wall there? Hmmm…

Ringing the bell makes the bad guy come to you. Line him up and take him out.

Doesn’t take a genius to solve this one

Protection? No such thing in Goof Troop. Pots travel through even walls. And although the hookshot doesn’t directly eliminate a bad guy, it can be used to push one over the edge. Sweet!

Turning a corner in a dark room only to run into a bad guy inches away is quite the tense moment. Make your way to the boss room before that moving wall crushes you.

Reanimated skeletons are bad to the bone, literally. Avoid the bones they’ll chuck your way, then grab them and heave it back at them. Heads will roll!

LEVEL FOUR: THE CAVERNS

Always fun to see the clear time under 20 minutes. Meanwhile, Pete and PJ are treated as royalty. The pirates don’t realize that’s not really their leader, Keelhaul Pete. The idjits.

There’s a chill in the air, brrrr. These caverns are damp and cold. Bundle up!

Barrels R Us! Get your arms up and catch those bad boys, then chuck it right back at them. But be careful, they can catch them too!

Exploding blocks add some extra depth to the puzzles.

Frozen rooms are slippery and a little trickier to navigate. Light up those flames before time runs out to open the door.

Quickly set the blocks in place while avoiding certain death.

Nothing like lining them up and mowing them down

Falling boulders are a great hazard. Ride the mine cart and take out any poor sap caught in your way.

Solving a puzzle in a dark room is definitely annoying. And so is being in a room with no barrels or pots to throw. But both instances up the difficulty a bit, which is sorely lacking in this game.

Brainteaser, this one.

Waterfall blocks your path. Clear it and then come back to enter the boss lair.

Rumblers crawl about looking to ruin your day. Grab the rocks that fall and let ‘em have it. Damn, almost 23 minutes. I wish more games from that era listed your clear times. It’s a detail I’ve always appreciated.

LEVEL FIVE: THE SHIP

Having spotted his neighbor and pal, Pete, Goofy rushes in only to fumble the situation in classic Goofy fashion. That’s when our heroes realize that’s the pirate king, Keelhaul Pete!

Graphically, the previous level was a bit drab. Thankfully, this last level looks a lot better as it’s filled with lush colors.

Hooray for being able to catch bombs. That conveyor belt could not come faster.

Crashing the party like only Goofy can, he really knows how to let loose. Hell, he’s about to jump on one of those tables and pull a Pee-wee Herman. No, not THAT. Thank God not that. I’m talking about the classic TEQUILA scene from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. Later on, a tricky puzzle stands in the way between you and the key.

Shifting holes in the ground make this a bit tricky to navigate, especially for the impatient and hasty player.

Catching barrels from bad guys is the best. But always keep in mind they can do the same!

Keelhaul Pete stands between you and paradise. Watch out for his spin attack and his extendable hook.

Keelhaul Pete is done for, and you rescue your friends in the end. All’s well that ends well. The ending screenshot displays your total play time. Again, I wish more games from that era did this as well. It’s a nice little touch, especially for those who like to chart their play time.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Goof Troop for the most part was well received in North America. GameFan raved about it in its preview, although they never reviewed the final product. Magilla from GameFan had this to say: “The magic of Capcom and Disney is back! The game is kind of like Zelda with just the dungeons. Capcom’s done a great job with the interaction between each player in the 2-player mode. In one situation, you’ll come across a room full of pirates. One player will use a bell, which will distract the pirates, while the other player moves by them undetected to flip a switch… way cool. It’s not Zelda, but it’s a great game.” EGM gave it ratings of 8, 8, 8 and 7. Super Play was a little less impressed though, rating it 69%. James Leach reported, “Goof Troop could have been excellent. It just needs a bit more variety, a bit more difficulty and, in fact, a bit more everything. So be wary, challenge fans.”

Heres what I say to that! — Here’s what I say to that!

Mr. Leach certainly was right when he said the game could use more difficulty. It’s quite the cakewalk. But I strongly disagree that it could, “in fact, use a bit more everything.” But don’t take my word for it. Goof Troop is often held in pretty high regards among SNES fans.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Capcom’s Disney Afternoon debut on the Super Nintendo was a success. There’s a reason why so many retro gamers often cite Goof Troop on recommendation lists along the lines of “Underrated SNES Games” and “SNES Hidden Gems.” It’s easy to pick up and play. The visuals are simple yet colorful and extremely inviting — the game’s overall look and aesthetic just makes you want to explore Spoonerville Island and discover what lurks behind every last nook and cranny. Animations are great and there are some bouncy tunes to bob along to, with each theme fitting that particular part of the island quite well. I especially love the sound effects. The sound of gaining a life is deeply embedded in my mind even all these years later. But the main ingredient that Goof Troop nails is the gameplay. It’s a breath of fresh air; I feel there aren’t nearly enough games like this on the SNES, which makes Goof Troop all the more unique and special.

Teamwork is the name of the game, and Goof Troop easily stands as one of the shining examples of 2-player co-op SNES experiences. Not only are Goofy and Max distinctively different, but the ability to catch and throw blocks in addition to a number of other strategies makes it a very rewarding 2-player team effort. It’s still fun when playing alone but the true magic lies in teaming up with a buddy. Items are perfectly allocated and the game flows extremely well. There’s almost never a dull moment or a stretch where there isn’t some fun gimmick to employ in one way or another. The puzzles are on the easier side (sans the final one) and you could beat the game on your first try. It’s not one of the all-time greats in the SNES pantheon by any stretch but as far as “best of the rest” goes, Goof Troop deserves its place in any well-rounded SNES collection.

Graphics: 7.5
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.5

Final Fight 3 (SNES)

**Pub & Dev: Capcom | January 1996 | 24 MEGS**

The original Final Fight was ported over to the Super Famicom on December 21, 1990. It came out exactly one month after the Super Famicom launched in Japan. Final Fight 3 came out five whopping years later, landing in Japan on December 22, 1995. This time however, instead of being a revolutionary console on the upswing, the SNES was a grizzled vet practically on its last leg. Capcom cranked up the voltage as Final Fight 3 clocked in at an impressive 24 MEGS, making it the largest beat ‘em up on the SNES in terms of megabits. It featured branching paths, special moves, SUPER special moves and even a 2-player mode where the second player can be controlled by the computer if you didn’t have a buddy nearby. Capcom definitely redeemed themselves for the disappointment that was Final Fight 2. Let’s head back to Metro City one final time…

THE FINAL FIGHT — REALLY THIS TIME

I remember seeing previews for Final Fight 3 and Mega Man X³ in the back pages of GameFan in late 1995. Capcom was back at it milking more sequels than Friday the 13th. But that’s fine by me. Final Fight 2 was a sore disappointment and I had pretty decent hopes that they might get it right with Final Fight 3. Mega Man X³ looked like a welcomed addition to the series and it was just nice to see the Big C still supporting the Super Nintendo.

My brother and I hadn’t ‘upgraded’ to the PlayStation or Sega Saturn yet. We clung on to our Super Nintendo during its twilight years, although we certainly didn’t play it as much as we had done during the system’s peak. Still, I remember feeling like Final Fight 3 and Mega Man X³ was something of a last bastion of hope. A beacon of light in the darkness for the remaining loyal SNES fans who stuck by the system’s side even in its dying days.

Final Fight 3 is something of a special game to me in many ways. My family moved in late January of 1996. My childhood home. The place where I carved out countless memories with my parents, brother, uncle and friends for 10 years. The place that meant so much to me and was more than a town, more than a suburb. It was, in many ways, the wonder years.

And Final Fight 3, of the hundreds and hundreds of SNES games I rented from 1991-1996, proved to be the final (har har) Super Nintendo game I ever rented while living in my childhood home. In fact, it was just the weekend before we moved. I remember playing it with moving boxes all around the living room, cleaning up the streets of Metro City one last time alongside my older brother. Made for some good times and memories. As such, Final Fight 3 will always hold a special place in my heart.

THE FINAL FIGHTERS

Guy returns! As does good old standby, Mike Haggar, complete with a brand new ponytail. Some fans are split on the look but I always dug it. Dean and Lucia are the two newcomers. Bye bye Carlos and Maki from Final Fight 2. Honestly, I never liked them much.

Height: 5'10" Weight: 159 lbs Hobby: Ninjitsu — Height: 5’10”
Weight: 159 lbs
Hobby: Ninjitsu

After completing a martial arts training trip, Guy returns to Metro City only to find himself caught up in a riot. He is happy to once again team up with his old comrade, Mayor Mike Haggar, and bring justice to Metro City once and for all.

Height: 6'6" Weight: 214 lbs Hobby: Driving (fast) — Height: 6’6″
Weight: 214 lbs
Hobby: Driving (fast)

A former street fighter with a thorough knowledge of Skull Cross gang operations. He always carries a small picture of his family wherever he goes. The Skull Cross maniacs slaughtered his family when he refused to join up. Now Dean seeks swift retribution and some good old fashioned cold blooded vengeance!

Height: 5'8" Weight: 115 lbs Hobby: Cooking (not a good cook) — Height: 5’8″
Weight: 115 lbs
Hobby: Cooking (not a good cook)

A detective in Metro City’s Special Crimes unit, Lucia became Haggar’s ally after he helped clear her of a corruption charge. Now she’s returning him the favor.

Height: 6'7" Weight: 269 lbs Hobby: Politics — Height: 6’7″
Weight: 269 lbs
Hobby: Politics

The most popular mayor Metro City has ever known, Mike Haggar seems to become more powerful with age. And who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Haggar has a few new moves up his sleeve… well, if he wore sleeves. Ah, you get the expression.

THE STORY GOES…

Well, that’s Super Play’s interpretation, anyhow. Classic SPLAY. No, here’s the real plot…

Classic Metro City map from the first Final Fight returns.

“GODDAMN look at you, Guy! Looking good as ever. How did your training go?”

“I picked up a few new tricks…”

“Metro City is under attack! If we don’t intervene quick, the Skull Cross gang is going to rip the city apart!”

“HOLD UP — WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”

“Does it really matter? All you need to know is I know where those scumbags are headed.”

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice. But if you’re lying, I’m gonna kick the shit out of you!”

“GONNA BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES… FOR THE FINAL TIME.”

Questions abound — will the Skull Cross gang succeed where the Mad Gear gang failed? Will Dean get his revenge? Will Haggar’s ponytail choke a bitch? Let’s find out!

Japanese version on the right. Notice that it’s much fancier and was known as Final Fight Tough over in Japan.

ROUND 1: POLICE STATION

Running attacks are new to Final Fight 3. Each character also has a special move which is executed in Street Fighter fashion. These new tricks really add to the gameplay and helps to keep things fresh.

Another brilliant addition by Capcom, SUPER special moves can be performed when you fill up a small meter at the bottom of the screen. SUPER specials inflict a ton of damage, not to mention they just look frigging cool.

Barrels contain goodies to recharge your health or boost your point total. Making your way through Metro City Police Station, incarcerated members of the Skull Cross gang can be seen from behind their prison cells. Nice touch, along with the dim flickering lights.

Capcom delivers a nice tip of the hat to its roots. This scene is reminiscent of the car bonus stage from the first Final Fight. “OH! MY CAR” remains one of the most memorable lines in gaming history.

Known for its big beefy bosses, Final Fight 3 continues that tradition well. Meet Dave, a corrupt massive cop gone rogue. Gorilla slam his ass into oblivion, Ultimate Warrior style.

Unfortunately, our heroes were duped. The Skull Cross gang staged the riot to keep the police busy as they freed one of their leaders from prison. Meanwhile, Dean apologizes for before. He didn’t have time to explain then. He tells them he was a former street fighter on the circuit, and when he refused to join the Skull Cross gang, they slaughtered his family. Now it’s payback time!

ROUND 2: MAIN STREET

Haggar loves to show off his sinewy tight muscles as he sprints ahead. Now that Costco is infamously no longer selling their $1.50 polish dogs, everyone is flocking to Metro City for their hot dog needs.

Although perhaps not quite mutant, I like how Final Fight 3 introduces some gray area into some of their bad guys. I’ve always preferred my beat ‘em ups to stray a bit from the beaten path. Some of the fat enemies don’t look quite human. It’s almost like some of them are failed experiments gone wrong, or right, depending on your perspective.

Speaking of paths, one of the best things about Final Fight 3 is that there are multiple routes to take. Bust that door open and you’ll enter the Club. And speaking of best, what’s better than finding a big piece of BBQ chicken (that will fully recover your health) when you’re just one hit away from dying?

Callman, another big beefy (bald) badass, will kick the ever living shit out of you if you aren’t careful. The furniture goes flying!

Haggar’s mighty axe swing helps even up the odds.

Callman would be a hell of a linebacker in the NFL. I love how he’s so damn big that Haggar’s spinning piledriver on him looks a bit ridiculous!

Destroy the fence instead however and you’ll find yourself in a rundown park. Notice on the bench (zoom in if you’re on a mobile device) the word FUK. How that slipped by Nintendo of America… I’ll never know! You still fight Callman at the end here if you take this route.

ROUND 3: BUS STOP

Shattering glass windows is quite satisfying. This stage allows you to take a shortcut and skip directly to the next level by breaking the bus stop sign. But if you don’t, a bus will come by to pick you up.

Daaaamn! That’s the first thing I thought when I first boarded this bus. Look at the size of that ham hock! It’s almost big enough to fit a T-Rex.

Electrocute the competition with Dean’s mighty fist. There was a rumor that Dean is really a robot but that’s never been confirmed. Also, because the game refers to his family, that’s reason to believe the robot theory is off. Andore makes his first appearance here. Get too close and he’ll choke the hell out of you.

Showing off his strength, Dean lifts Andore high over his head before sending him crashing down across his knee. Ouch! Talk about a mean back breaker.

Eventually the bus stops at a scrap yard. Next stop: ELECTRIC AVENUE!

Soaring high into the air, Dean’s SUPER special is a throw from the heavens.

Jumping on top of the bus now, Dean faces off with Caine and his cronies. Caine is a lot tougher than Dave and Callman.

Caine’s odd design left me feeling a little unsettled as a kid. The hunchback, the abnormally long arms and incredibly shrunken head made him exactly the kind of creep you wouldn’t want to run into down a dark alley…

ROUND 4: THE SHIP

Destroying the bus sign allows you to skip the bus and fighting Caine. It takes you straight to the docks. Haggar loves a beautiful sunset.

Andore continues his progressive transformation toward becoming a full time Frankenstein. Watch out for those killer abs!

Running attacks brought a sense of speed to the game. It never gets old hitting a running clothesline on some sucker.

Finally, we get female enemies in a Fight Fight game on the SNES! The previous two games in the series altered the female enemies to be guys. ProTip: Avoid being in the middle of an Andore sandwich.

There’s an age old debate among some folks pertaining the question, is a hot dog really a sandwich? Fear no more, Final Fight 3 puts a definitive end to that debate.

Survey says… NOT A SANDWICH! Thank you, Capcom, for putting that silly notion to bed. You have a choice to go up the stairs or through.

Careful there Mike, those tiny masked guys are fragile. Most beat ‘em ups on the SNES features three enemies on screen at the most, but Final Fight 3 has a few sections where there’s four (as seen above).

Carrying a huge anchor, Drake (nope doesn’t look like Dave whatsoever…) will swing it around and try to crush you with it. If that fails, he’ll rely on his heavy bottom to take you out.

Another cool aspect about Final Fight 3 is that the shoulder buttons allow you to lock in on a direction. Double tap back when doing this and your character will do a quick hop backward. It just adds another layer of depth and nuance to the game and is the only SNES beat ‘em up to feature this.

BONUS ROUND 1: THIS IS SOME BULL

Bulldozer comes steaming after you, trying to knock you off the pier. Only jumping attacks work, and there’s barely any room (literally) for error.

Should you fail, one of your teammates will fly in for the assist. But if you can beat it, you’ll earn extra points.

ROUND 4B: CHINA TOWN

Boarding the bus and defeating Caine takes you straight to China Town. It’s a beautiful depiction of China Town at night with all the fancy lights shining.

Detective Lucia reporting for duty!

Andore likes it rough but not THAT rough.

Haggar takes over as we enter the kitchen. Wong comes busting out!

Similar to Caine, there’s something that’s just OFF about Wong. It’s definitely his creepy looking eyes, which left me a little unsettled as a kid. Watch out for his Blanka-like rolling ball attack.

~~Sleeping~~ burning on the job there, are we, Wong? The way he convulses at the end is also a little disturbing. Quit staring at me with those alien eyes!

ROUND 5: FACTORY

Haggar finds himself trudging through a sewer to begin this stage. Capcom’s classic Yashichi icon can be picked up for temporary invincibility. Look between Haggar’s legs… damn that sounds like a sordid piece of fan fiction right there.

Another cool thing about Final Fight 3 is that certain weapons are better used by certain characters. For example, Haggar really knows how to swing the lead pipe whereas Guy is not nearly as competent with it. Again, this is another feature that you won’t find in any other SNES beat ‘em up.

Haggar in a shady back alley? Nope, nothing wrong with that. A new enemy called Hunter appears on this stage. Armed with a baseball bat and a mask, he’s pretty cool looking but is painfully slow. Still, a unique enemy especially in the Final Fight universe.

Hunter reminds me a lot of an enemy from Undercover Cops, who also wields a baseball bat.

Always fun to see stuff like this.

Destroy the second door to unlock a secret area.

Decimate all the computers here and you’ll be taken to the final round without having to face the boss of this stage!

However, if not, you’ll have to work your way to the boss.

Obviously, doing so is going to make your life harder but it also extends the game and lets you face arguably the toughest boss from the Skull Cross gang, Stray.

BONUS ROUND 2: RUNNING OF THE BARRELS

ProTip: Avoid barrels. Break computer.

ROUND 6: SKULL CROSS HEADQUARTERS

Finally, we come to Skull Cross HQ. Guy takes over, tossing bad guys around like sacks of potatoes.

“HADOKEN!” Not quite, but it’s still pretty cool. As is his spinning kick.

Capcom messed up on Guy’s SUPER special move. The bad guy always falls down before Guy can hit his little fireball, making this move look a bit silly.

Uncover more bonus rooms by breaking them open.

Peculiar to see BBQ chicken hiding inside a water dispenser, but alright then!

Andore’s no match for Guy’s fireball. And here’s another section of the game where four enemies crowd the screen at once.

Special moves really add to the quality of gameplay, requiring some level of skill to execute rather than just mashing away at the buttons. Toward the end, a chopper reveals itself to set up the final battle.

Details are on point here. Shock waves can be seen on the ground complete with a perfectly matching sound effect to punctuate the arrival of Black, the big bad of Final Fight 3 and leader of the Skull Cross gang.

Bursting out of his jacket, Black uses a spinning attack even more effectively than Haggar’s. That’s because Black’s spin attack actually sees him zipping around the screen like a mad man!

Beware of all the knives he’ll throw as well. When his health is depleted to the last bar, the screen will shift to the right slightly, revealing an electric generator.

Satisfying way to kill him! But you won’t have long to celebrate — the generator goes bonkers and the whole place is about to blow. RUN!

Haggar: “We saved Metro City! Thanks, Guy!”

Lucia: “AHEM!”

Haggar: “Er, I meant thanks, guys.”

Guy: “No problem. But look at the city — it’s nearly in ruins.”

Lucia: “Well, that’s a problem for Mayor Haggar to deal with, isn’t it now?”

Haggar: “Don’t remind me…”

Drifters, by nature, come and go. Dean’s work is done. For now at least.

Kansas’ Carry On Wayward Son can suddenly be heard playing in the background…

“Carry on my wayward son.
There’ll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don’t you cry no mooooore.”

Haggar and friends go out in style.

UH EXCUSE ME — PRESS START ANY SECOND NOW!

Capcom always had the greatest continue screens with their Final Fight games. Final Fight 3 is no exception.

GLITCHES R US

Although the production values for this game is solid enough, there are a few instances where you can see ever so briefly (less than a split second) some funky not-so-fluid glitches. It really doesn’t kill the game in any way (especially since it’s really not that bad) but it’s interesting to note regardless.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Lucia graces a gorgeous cover of Super Play

Final Fight 3 pretty much got brutalized by the critics when it was initially released back in January of 1996. The game was criticized for being outdated, out of touch with the times and not offering anything new. Which is crazy, considering Final Fight 3 not only added special moves but SUPER special moves (among other standout features). But I get it. It was simply a victim of its time. Back in 1996, most people were not looking to play an “archaic” 2D side scrolling beat ‘em up, and the game’s review scores reflect that sentiment. EGM gave it scores of 6.5, 5.5, 5.5 and 5. GameFan gave it ratings of 77, 67 and 55%. Super Play minced no words, slapping it with an embarrassingly low rating of 49%.

I love Super Play. That fact is well documented around these parts. But I vehemently disagree with their assessment of Final Fight 3. First of all, to me it’s just ludicrous that you can rate a game’s gameplay as 70% but rate the game an overall score of 49%. I believe the gameplay and overall score should be similar. Yes, graphics, sound and longevity all play a factor in deciding the overall score but gameplay has to be where the emphasis lies. Come on Super Play, that wasn’t cool.

Eat this, Super Play :P — Eat this, Super Play

And don't forget this — And don’t forget about this

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Final Fight 3 is one of those games that got killed in the press when it initially came out but is now acknowledged as a (really) good game. In fact, I can’t think of an SNES game that was more criticized at the time of its release yet is now so beloved as Final Fight 3. Again, it was a matter of timing and circumstances. Back in 1996, with all eyes toward the (32-bit) future, a game like this looked like a couple years too late. Capcom was accused of once again releasing a lazy sequel. But now however, Final Fight 3 has been received with welcome arms and is often considered as a top 5 beat ‘em up on the SNES. It added some great new features to the fold, including special and SUPER special moves, running attacks, throws from behind, the ability to lock your direction and even retreat with a quick dash backwards.

Haggar AND Guy at long last! — Haggar ***AND*** Guy at long last!

Lest we forget the branching (and secret) paths which help add to the game’s longevity. Hey remember those old “CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURES!” books? Yeah, Final Fight 3 kind of has that vibe thanks to its multiple routes one can take. Of course, perhaps best of all, two players can FINALLY use Mike Haggar AND Guy simultaneously. The two new characters, Dean and Lucia, aren’t too shabby themselves and are much more interesting and fun to use than Carlos and Maki from Final Fight 2. Oh and you can’t forget the brand new Auto 2-Player mode. This option allows the computer to control the second player. It’s handy for those nights where it’s just you and your Super Nintendo [Isn’t that you every night? -Ed.] Shush! *looks into imaginary camera* This is a cry for help!

The graphics are pretty good. Sprites are big and beefy. There’s a good amount of color on screen, although a few areas are rather drab and lacking in intricate detail. Animation is a little on the wonky side though. Some animations could have benefited from more frames, but it’s certainly not wooden by any means. It’s just not as silky smooth as you would expect coming from Capcom. Sometimes Final Fight 3 looks great, and other times it looks only average. The same could be said for the music and sound effects. Some sound effects are a little muted while others, like the chopper landing sending out shock waves, are spot on. The music is pretty good in certain areas while forgettable in others. Thankfully, it’s the gameplay that matters most, and this is where Final Fight 3 delivers its biggest punch. It’s simply a blast to play, and thanks to all its nuances, it doesn’t grow nearly as repetitive as many other beat ‘em ups I could name.

Don't be an Andore sandwich — Don’t be an Andore sammie!

But the game’s biggest flaw is that it suffers from some slowdown in the 2-player mode. Not to the point where it’s unplayable, but enough where it’s definitely a bit annoying. Still, that doesn’t stop Final Fight 3 from being the best Final Fight game on the SNES by a comfortable margin. It’s funny how so many people came to appreciate this game more only years and years following its initial release. There are a few other SNES games I can think of that fit this bill, such as Mega Man 7 and Street Fighter Alpha 2, but none wears it finer than Final Fight 3. While it has its share of flaws, Final Fight 3 is easily one of the top 5 beat ‘em ups on the SNES and a damn fine example of a beat ‘em up done (mostly) right.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 7.5
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 8

Overall: 8.5

Zoom in if mobile. Click if desktop. BTW how in the hell is 68% considered good?! — Zoom in if on mobile. Click if using desktop.
How in the ***HELL*** is **68%** considered good?!

Long Live Super NES indeed! — **LONG LIVE SNES** indeed!

Final Fight 2 (SNES)

Pub Dev: Capcom | August 1993 | 10 MEGS — ***Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1993 | 10 MEGS***

Final Fight, originally released in 1989 in the arcade, was a huge success for Capcom. It was ported to the Super Famicom in Japan just in time for the Christmas season of 1990, and it came out stateside for the SNES in September 1991. Although an impressive early SNES game in many ways, the port was somewhat butchered. Namely, it lacked a 2-player co-op mode, Guy was M.I.A., an entire stage was cut out and of course, censorship because Nintendo early ’90s. In the late summer of 1993, Capcom attempted to rectify matters (and cash in) when they released a sequel, Final Fight 2, exclusively for Nintendo’s 16-bit system. It might very well be the first SNES game to have an exclusive sequel with the first game being an arcade port. (I certainly can’t think of an earlier example of such off the top of my head. If you can, then comment below). Unfortunately, Guy and Cody are sadly nowhere to be found, but on the bright side there’s now a 2-player co-op mode. Was Capcom able to strike gold, or were they simply looking to make a quick buck based on the brand that was Final Fight? Let’s head over to Metro City and find out…

OK heres the real box art. The first one was a fan box — Here’s the real box art. The first one is a fan box

The North American box is a little shady. Damnd, an old boss from the first Final Fight, can be seen on the box but he never appears in Final Fight 2. Also, there’s a green mutant peeking from underneath the sewers. There was no enemy close to this in the actual game. Ah, the ’90s. Bless your heart.

"Still got my royalty checks!" — *“Still got my royalty checks!”*

STROLLING DOWN MEMORY LANE

The above was originally written on RVGFanatic (the first version) on November 21, 2012. That date marked the 22 year anniversary of the Super Famicom. As I write this now, the Super Famicom is now nearly 28 years old and counting. Wow, if that doesn’t make me feel old! Well, as the picture above states, I suppose I owe you a story…

It was a trip that haunted me and has never left... — It was a trip that haunted me and has never left…

December 1991. I was 8 years old on vacation with my family and friends in Lake Tahoe. Back in the day my family formed a strong friendship with four families. Together, between 10 parents and 16 kids, we had some of the most legendary sleepovers in the history of mankind. 11 boys and 5 girls, ranging from birth dates of 1978 to 1986, staying up late doing whatever it is that boys and girls do. We rented out a HUGE cabin where all 26 of us stayed. It was INSANITY. One of the guys, Tommy, brought along his newly acquired Super Nintendo with copies of Super Mario World, F-Zero and Final Fight.

I couldn't believe it. Home alone in the cabin from hell — I couldn’t believe it. *Home alone in the cabin from hell*

A very bizarre and peculiar thing happened on that trip. Something so strange that it haunted me throughout my childhood. That Sunday morning, my mom decided to let me sleep in while everyone else filed out for breakfast. I woke up to an empty cabin with weird odd noises coming from every which direction. If only those cabin walls could talk, who knows what ghastly and terrible secrets might be shed? I tip-toed downstairs, calling out the names of my family and friends. All the while knowing deep down that no one would answer my cries. No one living, anyhow.

Indeed, all I heard back in response was the loud hissing and groaning of the creepy cabin. Suddenly a cold chill swept up and down my spine as I knew something wasn’t right…

After braving my way to the kitchen at long last, I found a note taped to the fridge.

Steve,
Everyone woke up early except for you and we went out to get breakfast. You stayed up so late last night and you need the rest. Make yourself some Honey Nut Cheerios, and don’t watch too much TV. We’ll be back soon.Love,
Mom

I couldn’t believe it. My mom actually left me home alone in the middle of nowhere — OK not quite, but still! Did she not watch Home Alone?! I remember opening the fridge and seeing an ice cold can of 7 Up, my favorite soda back then. Oh how I wanted to grab that bad boy and chug it. But alas, I was not about to use the bathroom. There was no way in hell I would risk having to saunter down that demonic looking hallway that stood between me and the bathroom…

I felt a grim presence that dreary December morning... — I felt a **grim** presence that dreary December morning…

Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold dreary December morning of 1991. But being a resourceful kid, I believed that spirits would never mess with you if you had the TV or radio playing. Any kind of noise would ward off evil spirits. They would only attack those who were alone in silence. So I promptly turned on the TV to watch WWF Wrestling Challenge for the hour. It wasn’t long before I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. This was my chance! The older kids hogged the system the night before, leaving me out in the cold. I fired up F-Zero first and then played Final Fight until everyone came back from breakfast. Part of me was ecstatic to see them again as I was no longer alone in this cabin from hell. But something funny happened during my first SNES experience. It made me forget about all my fears and worries. Instead it transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. And ever since that fateful December morning nearly 30 years ago, I’ve been a Super Nintendo fan for life.

Family, friends and SNES made Christmas '91 special — Family, friends and SNES made Christmas 1991 rock

THE STORY GOES…

THE FIGHTERS

Sadly, Cody and Guy are nowhere to be found

Usually billed as 6'7"... Haggar's gained 3 inches — Usually billed as 6’7″… Haggar gained 3 inches

Honestly, did anyone really like Maki? A bit forgettable — Honestly, did anyone really like Maki? Meh…

Tenant at Haggar's home? Hey, I ain't judging — Tenant at Haggar’s home? Hey, I ain’t judging

ROUND 1: HONG KONG

Guile also makes a background cameo later on

Oddly (and regrettably), weapons in Final Fight 2 are more detrimental to you than they are to the bad guys. That should never be the case. There seems to be a split second delay when trying to use weapons, and I definitely do better when fighting with just my bare hands. The sound effect for the weapons are also incredibly weak. Nowhere near Capcom’s usual quality. Shocking and disappointing, which is sort of the theme throughout this game.

Haggar’s piledriver now rotates in mid-air and looks a lot more fluid and impactful than it did in the first game. At least Capcom got something right here.

Capcom milking a franchise? Never.... — Capcom **milk**ing a franchise? Never…

Censorship strikes again. Won Won looked even nastier in the Japanese version — he wields a deadly meat cleaver there.

ROUND 2: FRANCE

"OUI THIS, BITCHES!" — ***“OUI THIS, BITCHES!”***

And he looks GREAT in his second 16-bit outing — And he looks *GREAT* in his second 16-bit outing

Andore and Abobo were my two favorite goons to beat up as a kid. There’s just something satisfying about destroying the snot out of a towering titan with a jacked up physique.

Oh yeah, ALL DAY, son! — Oh yeah, ***ALL DAY***, Abobo!

This technique carries over from the first Final Fight — This technique carries over from the first game

Punch, punch, press up and punch. It’s an instant 3-hit combo ending in a throw that protects you and dishes out extra damage to any surrounding bad guys. In a pinch? You can do this after one punch instead of two. A staple of the Final Fight franchise, I wish all beat ‘em ups featured this handy technique. No need for grapples, although you can still do that if you want.

You’re on a midnight stroll looking for some thugs to trash and you spot some lackeys loitering around. Sometimes you can even sneak in a hit or two before they come to their senses. Truly a beloved staple of the genre!

"MIKE HAGGAR DON'T PLAY THAT, PUNK!" — ***“MIKE HAGGAR DON’T PLAY THAT, PUNK!”***

You have to show them that you’re really not scared
You’re playing with your life, this ain’t no truth or dare
They’ll kick you then they beat you then they’ll tell you it’s fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, BEAT IT!
No one wants to be defeated
Showing how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

JUST BEAT IT, BEAT IT, BEAT IT!

The Street Fighter games and the original Final Fight did this a thousand times better. From the weapons sounding weak and lacking impact to the way the car is animated as it’s being destroyed, this car bonus stage comes off as a very weak homage. Shame, Capcom. SHAME!

ROUND 3: HOLLAND

Mines are scattered throughout this stage. Holland is my favorite level in the game because of that and the boss, Bratken.

Sorry, I cant help it — Sorry, I can’t help it

They told him don’t you ever come around here
Don’t wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it!

You better run
You better do what you can
Don’t wanna see no blood
Don’t be a macho man!

Standing 6’7″ and weighing in at 434 pounds of muscle, Bratken is a psychotic overgrown boy who loves toys. He was bribed to join the gang by being locked in a room filled with toys. But now he’s bored and wants to get out. Looks like he just spotted you, his next teddy bear victim. It’s too bad the rest of the game isn’t as interesting as this.

Love his, ahem, smashing entrance. Not the best animation though as dude is a bit stiff. But hey, that’s probably from being cooped up in his little cell there more than it is lazy programming on the part of Capcom, yeah? Right…

DarkStalkers was the shit! — *Darkstalkers* was so freaking badass

ROUND 4: ENGLAND

[Gotta love women who can -Ed.] — *[Gotta love a woman who can -Ed.]*

No one ever accused Final Fight 2 of being original. I love how Andore looks when he’s being thrown. Seeing his big old carcass flying around the screen like that is real sweet and satisfying.

I'm a sucker for these sort of backdrops — I’m a sucker for these sort of backdrops

Most of Final Fight 2 possesses a desolated and bleak look but this stage is the lone exception.

I never liked this clown. The look, the aesthetic, even his name Philippe. It just came off as very generic and forgettable to me. Give me Clown from Fighter’s History any day!

Fighters History Dynamite — *Fighter’s History Dynamite*

Round and round he goes Where he stops... Nobody knows — Round and round he goes
Where he stops…
Nobody knows

This bonus round is damn hard. Props if you can complete it.

ROUND 5: ITALY

But did you ever say that to Haggar, hmm, Carlos? — But Carlos, did you ever say that to Haggar?

This is particularly hazardous as you don’t have a whole lot of wiggle room and as I stated earlier, the weapons in this game suck. A beat ‘em up where weapons are useless is a crime. That’s a plain simple fact.

Who knows why Capcom dropped the "o" — Who knows why Capcom dropped the “o”

Capcom made a few glaring omissions with the SNES port of the first Final Fight. One of which was taking out a stage that featured Rolento at the end. I guess in their quest to fix past errors, Rolent came back for Final Fight 2. Love the shadows that trail him. Still shots does this no justice. You have to see it in motion to truly appreciate it.

Can't deny this was a nice little nod to Final Fight fans — Can’t deny this is a nice little nod to *Final Fight* fans

Welcome back, Rolento — Welcome back to the ~~fold~~ fire, Rolent(o)

ROUND 6: JAPAN

We come to our final stop, Japan. The Land of the Rising Sun. And, apparently, the Land of the Rising Haggar. Hmm. I’ll leave it at that.

Andore’s design was inspired by Andre the Giant. The 7’4″ 500 pound giant was a major attraction in the world of professional wrestling. Rest in Peace, big guy.

WrestleMania III (1987) — *WrestleMania III* (March 29, 1987)

OK not really obviously, but these guys are annoying

He blocks a lot and is a pain to put away.

Carlos is so tough that his sword is mostly for show. He’ll whip it out though in a tight spot. The sword, of course.

Sick entrance for an otherwise forgettable final boss

But ah, if only it were that simple. With Belger rotting away in some ditch, the new head honcho is a weird looking dude that goes by the name of Retu.

"HEY BARBIE -- THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!" — ***“HEY BARBIE — THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!”***

As the boys are busy trash talking, ~~Tung Fu Rue~~ Genryusai hangs precariously in the air.

Classic bad guy from Fatal Fury — Classic bad guy from *Fatal Fury*

More decent fan service on Capcom's part — More decent fan service on Capcom’s part

A dramatic ending to a rather dull, pardon the pun, final fight.

The text above was inspired from the final two lines of John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN. Speaking of which, I had a chance to see the original Halloween in theaters back in 2012 when it had a special one night only showing. I can’t wait for the definitive sequel this coming October!

Fear not, Belger fans. He would later return to the series as Cyborg Belger in Mighty Final Fight, and then once more in Final Fight Revenge.

Final Fight 3? Naaah, Capcom would NEVER milk a franchise… oh who am I kidding? Let’s face it, they’ve produced more sequels than most horror movie franchises!

And Guy did return... in Final Fight 3 — And Guy did return in *Final Fight 3*

Good stuff here from Super Play Magazine

SAVE ME MAYBE?!

Obscure video game fact: Mike Haggar has a twin. The Haggar we know and love died in Final Fight 2 (as you can see here). That explains the ponytail Haggar sports in Final Fight 3…

Hmm. No, of course Im just joking — Hmmm. No, of course I’m just joking

Dont be cruel and let them die! — Don’t be cruel and let them die!

"SERIOUSLY, MAN?!?!" — *“SERIOUSLY, MAN?!?!”*

"WHEW! I owe you one, bro..." — *“WHEW! I owe you one, bro…”*

TRICKS AND SHENANIGANS

Interesting note about the 2-player mode: you can hit your buddy but the damage inflicted is minimal. A fun little trick is hitting both your partner and a boss character simultaneously. You can hit your friend repeatedly without them falling over, and bosses can get caught in this endless loop. Your friend takes very little damage per hit while the boss will take normal damage. You can easily abuse this system. There’s also a code to play as the same character. Press Down, Down, Up, Up, Right, Left, Right, Left, L, R at the title screen.

Final Fight 2 offers four difficulty levels. The easier ones are a joke but Expert is downright brutal, with enemies requiring a hundred hits before perishing. You can only unlock the full ending if you can beat it on Expert (which features a nice Guy cameo). On a final note, there is some text in-between stages but no pictures to go along with them. It reeks of lazy programming and a lack of attention to detail, something very uncharacteristic of Capcom back in the ’90s.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Final Fight 2 received mixed reactions. Oddly enough, despite being previewed twice by EGM, it was never reviewed. However, in EGM’s bi-monthly affiliated sister publication, Super NES Buyer’s Guide, Final Fight 2 received ratings of 85, 85 and 92%. GameFan, notorious for handing out high scores like free condiments, was split with their thoughts on this sequel. They gave it ratings of 70, 78, 84 and 93%. The 23% differential in the 70% and 93% ratings makes it one of the biggest scoring discrepancies in GameFan’s history. Super Play rated it 75%, which by their standards is a fairly respectable score especially for a beat ‘em up (a genre they often rated on the lower side). Most gamers seem to agree that Final Fight 2 is slightly above average at best, and at worse, kind of dull and not too good.

One of the largest scoring gaps in GameFan history

Not bad, considering its coming from Super Play — Not bad, considering it’s coming from Super Play

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Final Fight 2 was one of those sequels that my brother and I highly anticipated back in 1993. We loved the first Final Fight but hated that we couldn’t play it together. Final Fight 2 promised to fix that glaring omission. While the 2-player mode is nice, there’s a bit of occasional slowdown. But that’s not the worst offender. The game, for some reason, is missing the magic of the first Final Fight. Even if you forget about comparing it to the original and judge it strictly on its own, it’s honestly kind of drab. There’s nothing particularly lousy about Final Fight 2, but it just lacks the magical ingredients that made the original so fun and endearing. Final Fight 2, in a lot of ways, really feels like a “direct-to-video” (or direct-to-SNES) sequel. And maybe that’s because it literally is. But Final Fight 3 proved you can be direct-to-video and still be good. Frankly, Capcom kind of went through the motions here and it shows.

That’s not to say Final Fight 2 is a bad game. But being decent yet disappointing sums it up best, and shows you the high benchmark standard that Capcom set with the first Final Fight. On the bright side, the visuals are pretty strong by late ’93 SNES standards, aside from some stiff animation and some backgrounds border on being a bit lifeless at times. On the down side, the music and sound effects are below Capcom par. Weapons are essentially ineffective. Carlos and Maki are generic enough to be forgettable as is the final boss. But although it lacks the polish you expect from a firm like Capcom, there’s no denying that beat ‘em up fanatics will still find some level of enjoyment; it’s not incompetent or unplayable by any means. There are just so many better choices available on the SNES, such as Return of Double Dragon and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time. I’m glad Final Fight 2 came out, but I’m disappointed with how it turned out. Oh well, at least Capcom got it right on their third try. After all, they say third time’s a charm…

Graphics: 8.5
Sound: 5.5
Gameplay: 6.5
Longevity: 5.5

Overall: 6.5

BONUS: MEGABITS AND ANNIVERSARIES

August 1993 was a big month for Capcom. They released two major sequels: Final Fight 2 (10 MEGS) and Street Fighter II Turbo (20 MEGS).

20 WHOPPIN MEGS! — **20 WHOPPIN’ MEGS!**

I remember thinking how cool 10 MEGS was because at the time SNES games were either 4, 8 or 16 megabits. A few were even 12. But 10? That was unheard of, and I think Final Fight 2 is the first 10 MEG game on the SNES. Games boasting 10 megabits were even harder to find than ones with 12.

In the same month Capcom blew our minds when they released the first ever 20 MEG game, Street Fighter II Turbo. What a time to be alive. Can’t believe it’s been 25 years. Happy 25th anniversary to Final Fight 2 and the SNES port of Street Fighter II Turbo!

Rocky Rodent (SNES)

***Pub & Dev: Irem | September 1993 | 8 MEGS***

The Super Nintendo is home to dozens and dozens of platformers. As with any genre, it comes with a wide range of quality. Some are well known and excellent (Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario World) while others are a bit more obscure and not too shabby in their own right (Dino City, Harley’s Humongous Adventure, Hook). Then there are downright awful ones that are better off forgotten about. It was merely a sign of the times. Speaking of which, the early-mid ’90s became the age of the me too mascot platformer. Sonic the Hedgehog created a massive stir when it became a mega smash hit for Sega in 1991 and had countless companies clamoring to throw their name in the hat with their own mascot platformer. Animals with attitude were the order of the day and Irem was no different when they released Rocky Rodent. The question is, does Rocky Rodent make the grade? Let’s find out.

25 YEARS OF… NITRO PUNKS?!

Exactly 25 years ago today, Nitro Punks: Might Heads (what a title) hit the Japanese market. July 30, 1993-July 30, 2018. Yet another game from my youth turns 25 — gawd damn I’m getting old. Nitro Punks was renamed Rocky Rodent and was released in North America during the fall of ’93. I remember seeing Rocky Rodent in various game rental stores throughout my area in late ’93. I never got to rent it but I always wanted to. Alas, you know how older brothers often get their way, and sadly for me, Rocky Rodent never piqued my brother’s renting interest. The box of Rocky Rodent would come to haunt me as its titular rodent would seemingly sneer at me at every turn. In my own mind I envisioned Rocky Rodent being a pretty fun and competent platformer. It became one of many SNES childhood curiosities I would finally quell following my SNES resurrection in early 2006. Sometimes, your gut was right all along. Other times, not so much. Which one you gonna be, Rocky?

Spoiler: Pretty close to my gut feeling back in 93! — Spoiler: Pretty close to my gut feeling back in ’93!

Happy 25th nevertheless! — Happy 25th Rocky!

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Various spray cans litter the stages waiting to be picked up. Each hairdo not only grants Rocky certain abilities but an extra life as well (Rocky dies if he’s hit when bald). It’s a pretty cool gimmick although you can still hop and bop to your heart’s content. But the zany hairdos definitely steal the show.

The Braid allows Rocky to swing as well. The Mohawk leaves Rocky vulnerable when tossed. Technically, you are bald when chucking it, so be aware of that.

Use the Spring to reach new heights. The Bird Nest Wig unleashes Picky, a bird who acts as a computer controlled helper (similar to the option helpers from Gradius III). Each hairdo has its own pros and cons. They add to the game’s quirky atmosphere.

THE STORY GOES…

Rocky, a dine and dash artist with an insatiable appetite, finds himself in a… ahem… hairy situation. Apparently Rocky has gone and done it again, trying to cheat yet another restaurant.

Fortunately for our anti-hero, Rocky runs into the Rose Restaurant owner whose only daughter Melody has been kidnapped by Mafia member, Don Garcia. He makes an offer Rocky can’t refuse — save Melody and it’s all you can eat on the house. It’s a very nonsensical plot but there’s sort of a cheesy charm to it all.

DOWNTOWN

Remember Sparkster from Rocket Knight Adventures (and er, Sparkster)? The very first enemy you encounter in Rocky Rodent, an armored armadillo, looks awfully similar to Sparkster. Just a random coincidence though, as Rocket Knight Adventures came out on the Sega Genesis almost exactly one week later (August 5, 1993).

Spruce up your style with a brand new hairdo. Not only will you look cooler, but it’s vital to staying alive longer. Not to mention all the cool new tricks you’ll be able to do with a new ‘do.

Rocky’s cling and fling technique with this first hairdo is sure to impress the ladies.

Impale enemies with your spiky hair and toss them back to take out an entire row. Works just like the Koopa shells from the Mario games. Use the water sprout for a much needed lift.

Speaking of lifts, bounce off the café awnings to reach the rooftop where Rocky will be greeted by all his favorite yummy treats. I like how he slides on the roof. It’s the little details!

Similar to Sonic, Rocky is a fast little sucker. However, be careful about when to exercise said speed. Here, it’s required. But most elsewhere, speed kills.

SUNSET FREEWAY

Platformer rule #72: There must be some kind of auto scrolling stage. Bingo, you’re looking at it. Race down this freeway and avoid the various hazards. I like how you can see the sun gradually setting over the horizon.

Hightail it, Rocky! Chuck E. Cheese’s reject sighting!

Gorgeous… but deadly. Oh so deadly.

Bizarre doesn’t begin to describe this game. Mutant rats driving a ’70s Volkswagen while a Mob boss attempts to mow you down with a Tommy gun? Yeah…

GHOST APARTMENT

Mohawk acts like a boomerang. Sick.

Mohawk also allows Rocky to cling and fling.

Makeshift boost as well! Nice.

Whoever owns this apartment is going to curse Rocky for all the property damage he’s causing.

Platformers sometimes need a way to impede certain routes at least for the time being. These funky door blockers earn Irem bonus points for creativity. Best of all, when you eventually do reach the other side, you can ram Rocky’s spiky hairdo up their you know what! Hey, it’s the little things. Also, hit those markers to save your spot ~~should~~ when you die (this game is freaking hard).

Falling chandeliers and going down random tubes are the order of the day.

Crumbling blocks lead us to… Slimer and friends?!

Apartment with a random teeter totter and anvil? Alright then. It sends Rocky sky high.

Admire and enjoy that cool night air, because it’s going to be hot once you get back in.

Poltergeist shit starts to go down. Hey, this place isn’t called Ghost Apartment for nothing.

Random furniture and crap start coming Rocky’s way fast. Be quick!

Haunting the apartment is the ghost of Mr. Potato Head. He seems tricky at first but he actually has a very easy pattern.

RANDOM ROCKY

Man, they’re really taking this “Mascot with Attitude” thing seriously, aren’t they?

Don't accept rides from strangers, kids — Don’t accept rides from strangers, kids

Yeah, that’s not creepy at all…

Rocky Rodent has its fair share of sight gags. They don’t cause any harm to Rocky; they’re just there to make you smile.

I kinda miss the days when mascot platformers had all these wacky sight gags. It was sort of a sign of the times. It felt like everyone and their brothers were doing it. Endearing when done right!

Loved him back in the '80s! — Loved him back in the ’80s!

Here is the controversial scene Nintendo didn’t want you to see!

Just wait ’til Rocky puts the moves on her.

How Irem managed to slip this past Nintendo remains a mystery to this very day.

Rocky Rodent wasn’t their only SNES game mired in controversy.

Irem CEO: Hey! Why the dirt on our good name, sir? What wrongs have we EVER done?

[I’ll handle this… -Ed.]

Irem CEO: *sweating* … oh right, THAT. Um, look over there! Quickly Smithers, TO THE BASEMENT!

[At long last, sir! -Smithers]

See the trouble you’ve caused now?

[*snickers* -Ed.]

Back to Rocky Rodent, then…

The ad typified the times we were living in, back in good old 1993. I remember sort of drooling over the ad thinking that Rocky Rodent was a great name for a mascot platformer, Rocky was cool and that the game would probably be pretty good. It somehow reminded me of the spirit of NES games from the early ’90s, and I mean that in the best possible way. Just made me think of lesser known obscure NES platformers like Totally Rad and Werewolf for some reason…

Awesome fan art by theoriginalmistajonz!

More cool Rocky fan art, this time by elchavoman

ROCK HARD

I remember seeing this as a kid back in 1994 and thinking “Damn, Rocky Rodent must be super hard.” And it sort of is, especially once you get to the second half of the game. Starts out easy enough, but absolutely wrecks you later on. EGM wasn’t kidding!

Yeah, get ready to see plenty of that.

Thankfully there is a cheat code for infinite continues but EVEN THAT is hard to do! Press start at the title screen and Rocky begins his mad dash. Press Y, A, R, A, B, A before he reaches the end. I can’t consistently pull it off because that bloody Rocky is quite the runner, the bastard.

The later levels are so hard that your heart will feel like that playing it. Oh and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Rocky Rodent has the coolest (and grossest) 1-UP icon in the business.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Rocky Rodent fared well with the critics, at least the ones here in North America anyhow. They thought that it was a very solid and even surprising semi-hit of sorts. They also voiced their desire for a 16-MEG sequel in 1994. Of course, it was never meant to be as this is Rocky’s one and only showing. EGM gave it scores of 7, 7, 8 and 8. GameFan gave it ratings of 79, 82, 85 and 86%. Super Play, on the other hand, was not impressed. No shocker there as they were notorious for being harsh on “me too” platformers and beat ‘em ups in particular. Super Play rated Rocky Rodent a paltry 50%.

Ouch. Super Play was too harsh I think... — Ouch. Super Play was too harsh I think…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Mascot platformers were a dime a dozen back in 1993. Sonic the Hedgehog more or less kickstarted that whole “me too” movement that would inevitably flood the gaming market (a much different and not so serious me too movement from the one we’ve seen in recent times). You had to be special to stand out in a crowded genre. You had to be different. Distinguished. Some, like Rocket Knight Adventures and Plok, managed to rise above the ranks and captured the hearts of many. But too many others failed to make an impression and quickly faded away into obscurity. Rocky Rodent, for me at least, lies somewhere in the middle. Though sadly, its fate is still that of one that has vanished into the ether.

Rocky Rodent got lost in a crowd of countless me too platformers that overflowed the Super Nintendo in the early-mid ’90s. It’s not a shabby platformer at all. The different hairstyles add some strategy and depth to the game. The game looks relatively good for its time and the music was actually pretty catchy and a tier or two above most games of this ilk. I found myself bobbing along with the soundtrack at points. The music in the Ghost Apartment was far creepier and more sinister sounding than I expected in a “kiddy game” such as this.

Even though Rocky Rodent is fairly paint by the numbers, the dressing is slightly different enough to make the game feel like Irem actually put in a good effort. And that effort certainly shows at times. The different hairstyles are fun to to use and the stages are designed around the abilities of said styles. Sure, Rocky Rodent might come off as a bit generic at times but I think it’s got some soul to it as well. Irem injected a good dose of humor and personality into the game. Look no further than the various sight gags or that random shower scene in the apartment. So wonderfully odd and memorable! On the downside, the control is not as crisp as I would like. The insane difficulty, combined with a lack of password system, definitely brings down the game a bit. But hey, there are far worse platformers you could play on the system. *cough* Bubsy *cough*

Interestingly enough, the game has a bit of a 1940s look to it. Just take a gander at some of those old vehicles and buildings! In addition, it admirably refrains from regurgitating the same old tired themes such as wood, fire and ice-based stages. It somehow manages to come off smelling like a slight breath of fresh air despite being standard platforming 101. It’s by no means an all time classic but if you’re in the mood for a simple yet challenging platformer, this may suffice (and in some cases, even satisfy). As such, Rocky Rodent is a worthy addition for anyone looking to expand their Super Nintendo library beyond the usual suspects.

Graphics: 7.5
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7
Longevity: 5

Overall: 7.0

Iron Commando (SFC)

What could have been... — What could have been…

I acquired Iron Commando (cartridge only) on October 11, 2006 for just $19.50. Today is lucky Friday the 13th, July 2018. And there’s a copy of this game complete in box going for $1,000 on eBay. Good God almighty. Holy crap am I glad I got back into the Super Nintendo when I did. I remember seeing screenshots of Iron Commando back in 2006 and thinking to myself, “This looks like it could be one of the real unheralded hidden gems of the SNES library.” Back in 2006, very few people were talking about Iron Commando. It was truly obscure then, whereas now it’s much more well known in the SNES community. I wrote a quick review of this game back in late 2006 and did my part to help spread the word. Unfortunately, I wasn’t too impressed with it. 12 years later and I still feel the same way. It’s a great looking game that had tons of potential but the end product just doesn’t execute like I had hoped. Hey, you win some, you lose some. I’m just glad my curiosity was cured in 2006 and for less than $20 too.

WHERE’S MY TOKEN FEMALE?

There are only two characters to pick from: Jack or Chang Li (no relation to Chun-Li). Most beat ‘em ups from the era had at least three choices. Sure, the token female is overly done but there’s a reason for it: to offer variety and more options. So right away we’re off to a less than ideal start but I disregarded my initial disappointment about the lack of a third hero. I just had a good feeling the gameplay was going to make up for it. Boy, was I off. On the bright side, two players can play simultaneously.

THE CITY

The first level opens up with a gnarly quote. It’s cheesy as hell but I loved it. Quotes occasionally appear at the bottom throughout this first level. It lends a B-Movie feel to the game but only appears in this stage, for better or worse. Iron Commando offers a myriad of weapons: 9mm pistols, rifles, machine guns, knives, baseball bats — I’m shocked there wasn’t a chainsaw as well!

That's what I call a double play — That’s what I call a *double play*

Game looks badass, no? It looks like a lost treasure — how did this NOT make North America? But then you sadly realize that even the lowliest enemies take forever to kill, and weapons BARELY do any damage at all! It’s as if the game is unfinished or still in its testing phase. It shouldn’t take me an endless barrage of hits to beat a common thug with a baseball bat. That just renders the baseball bat useless. If the damage ratio was fixed, Iron Commando would be infinitely better.

Don't text and drive, kids... — Don’t text and drive, kids…

This has to be a first in beat ‘em up history: the first boss being a truck.

THE ROAD

Welcome to the first of several auto scrolling stages. Two things are required for this stage to properly enjoy it…

1. Blasting Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

2. Constant maniacal laughter

Trust me on this one, especially #2.

It reminds me of Cadillacs and DInosaurs — It reminds me of Cadillacs and Dinosaurs

THE FOREST

Rejects from Sunset Riders — Rejects from *SUNSET RIDERS*

THE WAREHOUSE

Yeah, killing dogs (even if they’re rabid ones) with a baseball bat would never have cleared Nintendo of America. They would probably turn those canines into mutant rats. Wolfenstein 3D knows.

From the dingy dock to the interior of a creepy flickering warehouse you go. It’s a well done effect that you really didn’t see many SNES games utilizing. Notice the SLIVER of daylight in the bottom left hand corner there. Nice.

Didn’t Big Tom’s mom teach him not to play with knives in the dark? Tsk tsk.

This is a cool boss fight thanks to the light that flickers in and out. It takes me back to all those haunted house attractions I went to as a kid… and ahem, as an adult…

THE TEMPLE

Enemies often crowd you; Iron Commando suffers from cheap mandatory damage syndrome. It’s quite annoying and drags down the experience. It’s pretty cool that sometimes there are four enemies on screen (most SNES beat ‘em ups keep it to three max at a time) but this actually works against Iron Commando since the enemies are really tough and hit you way too much. You almost have to play this game with a friend if you want to enjoy it.

Snakes on a pl -- ground — Snakes on a pl — ground

Unmercifully cheap and annoying, you’ll hate snakes even more than the Medusa Heads in Castlevania. Yes, these slithering serpents are THAT bad.

Yes, those spikes are moving... — Yes, those spikes are moving…

Better kill him before the spiked wall impales you!

If the spiked wall or the boss doesn’t kill you, the spikes on the far right might!

THE BEACH

Bring your sunscreen and knife — Bring your sandals and knife

A fun little DID YOU KNOW fact: these guys were all extras for Michael Jackson’s epic music video BEAT IT.

*Beat it, beat it! No one wants to be defeated!*

THE MINE

Yet another auto scrolling section strikes. It’s definitely a “little” more violent than the minecart ride in Donkey Kong Country…

THE CAMP

Kinda reminds me of Cadillacs and Dinosaurs — Kinda reminds me of *Cadillacs and Dinosaurs*

Between the variety of violent weapons you can use and the cheesy quotes that pop up, Iron Commando might be the closest thing on the SNES to Capcom’s 1993 brawler, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs. It’s a shame though that Iron Commando is nowhere as good and that Capcom never gave us a home port of that title.

His name is even Jack too! — His name is even Jack, too!

THE JEEP

THE ROBOT

You’ll not only have to worry about Mr. Roboto but regular enemies as well. Killing them will allow you to gain access to their weapons. But beware of the robot’s laser beams and giant frisky hands. This fight lasts forever on account of poor damage ratio. That’s a shame because it ruins the whole moment, which starts out really cool but whittles down your excitement as the fight drags on and on and on…

A SECOND LEASE ON LIFE

Iron Commando was released on February 10, 1995, in Japan in limited quantities. It is one of the harder to find Super Famicom games. Apparently, it was also leaked out in the European market. But in mid 2017, a company by the name of Piko Interactive re-released Arcade Zone’s brawler so that it might find a bigger audience.

It actually came packed with Legend — Piko also re-released Legend

Legend was Arcade Zone’s other SNES beat ‘em up, but that game saw an actual SNES release back in April of 1994. So why did Piko re-release a game that actually had an official North American release? Because of the Iron Commando tie-in, the re-release is also (naturally) much cheaper than what original copies of Legend run for today and why the hell not. I’m thankful I already own both games, though. If I didn’t, I might have gone the Piko route. Original copies fetch way too much these days.

It’s always nice to see anything SNES-related getting relaunched in some aspect. Even though I already own all the games I’ve ever wanted, it’s always nice to see my dear old friend in the headlines once again, even if it isn’t front page news.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"Man, meet ups getting shady..." — *“Man, meet ups getting shady…”*

On the surface, Iron Commando looks the part. If you see it in still shots you can’t help but think to yourself, “Man this game looks good!” It also makes one hopeful that it will play just like the glorious beat ‘em ups of yore. Unfortunately, Iron Commando only looks the part. It fails to play the part as well, which is infinitely more important than looking the part. The pros are obvious. The sprites are huge and look great. The overall look and aesthetic of the game pulls you in — it looks just like an arcade brawler from 1993 that you would play with your pals right after scarfing down some piping hot pepperoni pizza. It’s visually very distinctive and the weapon choice is undeniably badass. No other beat ‘em up on the SNES has as many tools of destruction. From Louisville Sluggers to sawed off shotguns, Iron Commando is drowning in an ocean of violent solutions.

But here comes the ever so dreaded BUT part. Even on Easy, the game is insanely (and unnecessarily) difficult. You suffer countless unavoidable hits as enemies surround and flank you. It makes it really difficult to get into any sort of enjoyable flow when bad guys are bouncing you around like a pinball. The damage distribution is another glaring issue. Doing a 3-hit combo barely ticks their health. What gives? This dragged the whole experience down for me as punches and throws seem to have minimal impact. Initially, I thought to myself, “Ah don’t worry. The weapons will surely even up the odds.” Wrong. Weapon damage ratio isn’t much better. This is both ludicrous and inexcusable. If, however, you can look past these warts, Iron Commando can be a decent good time in brief bursts. With unique graphics and a B-Movie feel, the 2 player mode at least offers some thrills and spills. Still, one can’t help but feel this game massively misses the mark. What should have been an awesome beat ‘em up for the ages and a brawler lionized by a legion of fans is instead reduced to being, at best, an infamous case of “it’s not too bad, BUT…”

Iron Commando no relation to Captain Commando — *Iron Commando* no relation to *Captain Commando*

Captain Commando (SNES)

***Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1995 | 16 MEGS***

Capcom ported over two of their 1991 arcade beat ‘em ups, King of Dragons and Knights of the Round, to the Super Nintendo in the spring of 1994. A three year gap was an unusually long time for an arcade game to be ported back in those days, so both conversions were a pleasant surprise. Arcade translations typically came out a year (or two) later. Well, Capcom one upped themselves when they released yet another 1991 arcade brawler, Captain Commando, to the SNES in the late summer of 1995. Coming out a whopping four years later from its original arcade release, Captain Commando was an aging relic at a time where beat ‘em ups had lost a lot of their luster. Because it came out so late in the SNES’ lifespan, it never really got the attention it surely would have gotten had it came out three years prior in 1992. A bit of an ill-timed release, Capcom nevertheless forged ahead. And quite frankly, I’m glad they did. While it is a watered down version of the arcade original (as most 16-bit ports at the time were), Captain Commando is a reminder of the early ’90s when side scrolling brawlers ruled the scene. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start back at the beginning…

CAPCOM’S “MASCOT”

Captain Commando (geddit?) served as sort of a mascot for Capcom. He made his debut in 1985 in the Ghosts ‘N Goblins manual.

Then he began thanking you for buying Capcom’s games. This comes from 1987’s Mega Man instruction manual.

He showed up once again the following year in the sequel, Mega Man 2, thanking you for your purchase and support of Capcom. As you can see, he has altered his look over the years. Gotta keep up with the times, eh?

Captain Commando disappeared from making instruction booklet cameos by the time 1990’s Mega Man 3 rolled around. Then in 1991, it happened. Captain Commando received his very own game. Final Fight was a huge success in 1989 so Capcom was hoping for more of the same magic with Captain Commando. Fast forward to 1995. At last, Capcom converted Captain Commando to the SNES. Sacrifices were made but we’ll get to that later. For me, it was just good to finally see the good Captain and his unusual friends beating up hoodlums in my living room.

THE STORY GOES…

Taking place in the far flung future of 2026 (which is currently only 8 years away), Scumocide and his cronies are looking to rule over Metro City. Fun fact: this is the same Metro City from Capcom’s first beat ‘em up, Final Fight.

THE COMMANDOS

Captain Commando can electrocute bad guys and set them on fire. Yeah, he’s pretty bad ass. Ginzu the Ninja capitalizes on the obsession with ninjas back in the late ’80s and early ’90s.

Captain Commando doesn’t feature your prototypical cast. Look no further than these two. Mack is a mummy-like alien that looks more like one of the goons rather than one of our heroes. Baby Head is a a super genius baby who fights riding on an advanced mech suit that he himself built. Now that says it all, does it not?

MISSION 1: THE CITY

Captain Commando features 9 stages. The first one takes place in the City. I love little details like being able to shatter the store windows.

Enemies come bounding out of the sewers similar to the Foot Soldiers from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time. Too bad you can’t fling the manhole covers back at them, though. On the bright side, unlike Turtles in Time, there’s no danger of falling through the manhole and losing precious life.

Rushing attacks are nice. I like how this first stage scrolls downward a bit. It’s a small touch that I appreciate, especially seeing as how most beat ‘em ups simply go from left to right with zero variation.

Hammer time! If you zoom in or squint, you can see a statue of Haggar there. As stated earlier, this is Metro City in the year 2026. The first boss is Dolg.

Cosplaying as a lost member of the Road Warriors (AKA Legion of Doom), Dolg is more bark than bite. When in a pinch, use Mack’s special spinning attack to clear the room.

MISSION 2: THE MUSEUM

Breaking the glass isn’t necessary — it’s mandatory. You’re then dropped into the bowels of this shady museum where you’ll run into savage neanderthals with names like Samson and Organo. I’m not ashamed to admit that the creepy lifeless family that stares at you in the background slightly gives me the heebie jeebies.

Barrels can be a lifesaver. Save the meat until your health is low. The oddly named boss here, Shtrom Jr., looks like a Radiation Ranger reject from Toxic Crusaders.

MISSION 3: THE NINJA HOUSE

Moving on to the Ninja House, you’re greeted by the heel wearing Mardia, a formidable female fighter who assuredly has never skipped leg day. Don’t forget to watch your back or else those knife throwing thugs will make you pay. A less muscular female attacks with stun rods. I like how this stage transitions from the city to a rural dojo.

Ninjas ruled the day back in the late ’80s and early ’90s. This game has them well represented. Not only can you BE a ninja but you’ll fight lots of ninjas, too. If the action gets too hot, try using the laser gun.

Musashi makes quite the entrance. Two questions: Is this Ronin 47 and where’s Keanu Reeves when you need him? Later on, more ninjas attempt to ambush you.

Crowded? Use your special move to make room. Watch out for their shurikens!

Luckily, this is just a (brilliant) fake out scene. You escape by the skin of your teeth without having to fight them.

However, going inside isn’t much better. Meet Yamato, a kabuki warrior wielding a halberd. He reminds me of Kyoshiro from Samurai Shodown fame, or should I say vice versa.

MISSION 4: CIRCUS CAMP

Ahhhh, the Circus. Where you can obtain fancy art and set folks on fire. Fun for the whole family!

Wookys (gotta love that name) are so fun to beat up. I’ve come to learn that any door brandishing the word DANGER on it is not playing…

Shatter the glass on your way to the boss whose name is “Monster.” Real creative there, Capcom…

Things got a little too hot for Mack so in comes the Cap! I love how he can set enemies on fire as well as electrocute them. Look at Dr. Tea Water getting all bent out of shape there.

MISSION 5: SEA PORT

Bailing so fast, Doc? This surfing bit adds some variety to the gameplay and helps to break up the monotony. Pick up a machine gun and let ‘er rip! Where do you think 1993’s Surf Ninjas got their inspiration from? Ah hell if I know.

Careful trying to jump kick those billboards. In this case, sometimes boards do hit back. But you know what — or who — doesn’t? Poor ol’ Dr. Tea Water that’s who!

MISSION 6: AQUARIUM

Electrocution vs. fire… who’s going to win? Fire, I see.

Wookys come out of the woodwork. Break the blocks there to reveal a gun. Shockingly, it does little damage but what great fun you’ll have shooting it.

Mysteriously named Z, he knows how to reach out and touch somebody. Unleash the Captain Corridor when you’re surrounded. Such a basic yet cool looking move.

Temporary invincibility is granted whenever you lose a life. I love the double and triple vision that this effect produces.

Somebody’s gonna get fired for attacking the wrong side! I love when games allow enemies to hurt their own kind on accident. It somehow makes the game feel a little more realistic. But best of all, it’s simply a hoot to see!

Remember Shtrom Jr.? Now meet his dad and his dad’s right hand man. Use Baby Head’s Knee Rocket to even up the odds.

MISSION 7: UNDERGROUND BASE

Beware of falling barrels. Give it your best Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop impersonation. This is another level that scrolls downward. Nice.

Hitting a baby seems so wrong on every account, and that includes genius babies riding mech suits. But I suppose when a baby hits you in the face with a knee rocket, all bets are off (even though technically you should be dead).

Ginzu’s the name and slicing and dicing is his game!

Surrounded by two towering thugs? Hit them with the Smoke Bomb.

Originally named Blood, he’s been renamed Boots. Lame. Speaking of lame, the big brute blows up his desk to reveal a tunnel hatch where he attempts to escape. Fall down the rabbit hole and make him pay.

Captain Commando to the rescue!

MISSION 8: ENEMY SPACESHIP

Certainly will keep you on your toes. Hasty players may get zapped.

Assassin by day, hooker by night. They can even zap their fellow enemies!

“Thanks for the help, fat boys! Now my turn to give y’all a gift in return.”

Doppel replicates himself into all versions of the Commando team. You must beat all of them to defeat him.

MISSION 9: CALLISTO

Callisto, an enigmatic planet somewhere in the cosmos, is the site of the final battle. The first boss is back to exact revenge. Although it teases a possible boss rush, it thankfully isn’t. Check out the creepy (and probably wealthy) monsters in the background with babes hanging on every which side. It has a Mos Eisley Cantina vibe (from Star Wars fame). I almost expect Harrison Ford to come bounding in any second now as Han Solo!

Defeat Dolg and the hideous picture lifts, revealing Scumocide’s home base.

Heavier than a tank and taller than a mountain, Scumocide is a suitably intimidating final boss. Where’s The Hulk when you need him?

Whether he’s freezing your ass into a block of ice or incinerating your flesh, Scumocide doesn’t mess around.

Everyone has a weakness, even big badass warlords. Grab him, smash in his coconuts and finish him off with a piledriver that would make Haggar proud.

YOU’RE WELCOME, MARVEL

Scumocide defeated and world domination thwarted, Metro City celebrates its freedom and victory. When out of nowhere the good Cap appears on the screen to give the city a brief message. When asked who he is, he responds in dramatic fashion. It would have made Tony Stark himself blush. Hey where do you think Iron Man got its ending from?

ARCADE COMPARISON

As was the norm for arcade ports on the SNES, there’s an obvious drop in visual quality. But surprisingly, the sprites in the SNES port aren’t much smaller if at all. The colors aren’t as vibrant but the core basics are there. At least they are for the most part, anyhow.

One of the biggest differences is the toned down violence. Ginzu could slice enemies in half in the arcade version. Obviously, Nintendo was not going to allow that for the SNES port. It’s a bummer for sure but for me not a deal breaker.

Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain't so — Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain’t so

Musashi could cut you in half in the arcade version — That’s gonna leave a mark…

"THIS ONE'S FOR CAP!" — ***“THIS ONE’S FOR CAP!”***

"And this one's for me..." — ***“And this one… THIS ONE’S FOR ME!!”***

Sadly missing from the SNES version — Sadly the robot suits are missing from the SNES version

Arguably the biggest omission however is the lack of robots to ride.

A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot. DAMN — A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot!

The other big sacrifice of course was going from 4 players in the arcade to only 2 players in the SNES port. But seeing as how there is no beat ‘em up on the SNES featuring 3 or 4 players co-op (I don’t count Peace Keepers since that was a special mode and doesn’t involve enemies), this shouldn’t shock anyone.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE?

Konami you sneaky bastards. Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) is one of the best SNES action games ever made but damn if that intro doesn’t resemble Captain Commando (1991).

Shtrom Jr. and the Radiation Ranger (from Toxic Crusaders) bear more than a passing resemblance to one another.

Maybe it’s just me but the burning animation in Captain Commando reminds me of the burning scenes in Halloween II (1981). Especially the end where Michael Myers falls down on his knees before flopping face first.

I see you, Boogeyman! And I'll see you on 10.19.18! — I see you, Boogeyman…

And Ill see you again in theatres October 19! — And I’ll see you again in theaters October 19!

LIFE AFTER

Fans of Captain Commando would have to wait until Marvel vs. Capcom (1998) to use the good Captain once again.

Can't wait for the Venom movie (October 5, 2018) — Can’t wait for the *Venom* movie (October 5, 2018)

Ginzu makes a cameo and gives the assist

Ah, the whole gang back. Just like old times

Standing next to Spider Man and Captain America — Standing by Spider Man and Captain America

He would return in Marvel vs. Capcom 2 2000) — He would return in *Marvel vs. Capcom 2* (2000)

His next appearance came in Namco x Capcom (2005). However, he did not return in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (2011) or its follow-up, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. The next time we would see Captain Commando, or his costume anyhow, came in Street Fighter V as a costume unlock for Charlie Nash. The world awaits his next return. Or at least, me and four others, anyhow.

GRAPHIC NOVELS

Creepy.. — That’s not creepy and cult-like at all…

Im not sure whats happening but it cant be good — Not sure what’s happening but it can’t be good

You wouldn’t know it if you’ve only played the censored SNES version but the universe of Captain Commando is quite barbaric. The arcade original was gruesome especially for its time and that violence is reflected in the manga series.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Watered down. Geddit? Sorry — *Water*ed down. Geddit? Sorry

Captain Commando didn’t get much pub in the press because it came out fairly late in the Super Nintendo’s lifespan. That and I think because it was a port of an arcade game four years old, it never received the press it would have had it come out a few years prior. EGM, GameFan and Super Play didn’t review it. As for SNES players, it’s got something of a mixed reputation. Of course it’s been watered down in its arcade to home translation, but some still find it pretty fun. Others can’t overlook all the censorship. Whatever the case may be, copies of this game currently fetch triple figures online. Most SNES games now go for a pretty penny and this is certainly no exception.

If you can look past this, you might still enjoy it

CLOSING THOUGHTS

People can hate on this port all they want, but I love the fact that Capcom gave it to us, period. They didn’t have to. After four long years they had every right to make other games for the SNES — a system that was inching closer and closer to the end of its glorious run. And yet Capcom didn’t. It’s far from perfect and sure, I’m as bummed out as anyone that the gore was removed and especially the robots to ride. But at the end of the day, those are only small components to the game. The question is, does the game itself still play well? And my answer is a semi-resounding YES. I love a well made beat ‘em up and while this isn’t the pinnacle, it’s still a pretty solid example of the genre.

"Spare a dollar, pal?" — *“Spare a dollar, pal?”*

Graphically, it’s far from Capcom’s best. The visuals even appear a bit drab in places. But I feel it fits the game; there’s sort of an appropriate bleakness to future Metro City where Scumocide and his cronies (attempt to) rule. The sound effects unfortunately are not up to par by Capcom standards. Punches and strikes don’t have that satisfying OOMPH to them. Enemies also sound weird and off when dispose of. But the most important aspect of any game is how well it plays and Capcom did a good job there. The game is easy to pick up and it’s enjoyable especially if you don’t obsess over what it’s missing from its arcade original.

You still get all four Commandos and I like this cast of misfits a lot more than I do many others. I mean, you got a mummy alien and a baby genius riding a mech suit that he himself built! It’s bonkers and I love that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. A post-apocalyptic Sci-Fi atmosphere runs rampant throughout. Sometimes the action and enemy clones in these type of games can get rather repetitive but for me that’s not the case here. The enemies are just so wonderfully bizarre, despite the obvious tropes. The stages aren’t overly long nor is the game overly hard. It doesn’t wear out its welcome and is something you can pop in for some quick mindless action. I still play it randomly once every few years and it always leaves me with a smile on my face.

Graphics: 6.5
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 7

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Gotta love any map that has a T-Rex on it

King of Dragons (SNES)

**Pub: Capcom | Dev: Prism Kikaku | April 1994 | 16 MEGS**

In 1991, Capcom released two medieval-related beat ‘em ups. One was called Knights of the Round and the other, King of Dragons. Interestingly enough, Capcom released both games on the SNES some three years later in 1994 and in the same month no less. It was a bit unusual to see such late conversions — usually ports were handled within two years if not one — but boy am I glad that didn’t stop Capcom. While naturally there were quite a few sacrifices made, namely going from three player co-op to two, reduced sprite size and less enemies on screen, back in the ’90s these home ports were the best we could do at the time and we always made the most out of it. Some conversions were handled better than others, and thankfully, King of Dragons can be considered as a fairly faithful translation of its 1991 original. So if you’re into fantasy beasts (such as Wyverns, Cyclops and Minotaurs) and you enjoy medieval warfare with a decidedly Dungeons & Dragons fare, then you’ll find yourself right at home.

Just a shame Capcom didn't use this box art instead... — Just a shame Capcom didn’t use this box art instead

THE STORY GOES…

Not exactly the most riveting or original plot, but hey, who plays beat ‘em ups for their storyline? I sure as hell don’t! Give me a big sword, some nasty bad guys to kill and watch me grin from ear to ear as I wipe the floor with the lot of them!

THE WARRIORS

One of the best features about King of Dragons is the five different characters you can select from. Very few SNES beat ‘em ups gave you five choices. Most offer the standard three and four was considered to be great. But you get five here. Best of all, they all play differently and not just in a few categories. They all have their pros and cons in terms of attack range, magic power, defense, speed and so on. Three of them can even block enemy attacks. There’s a lot more strategy found here than in most other beat ‘em ups. It also makes the 2 player mode all that more interesting because you can strategically pair up an Elf with a Fighter for instance. The Elf attacks from long range while the Fighter handles the up close encounters.

The cast of five makes for a diverse 2 player experience

It truly does as you and a friend can mix and match. I recently played this with my girlfriend and she likes being the Elf. Unfortunately, continues are shared in the 2 player mode. Bummer. (But there is a 99 continue code floating out there…)

A MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS

Credit Nintendo Power Magazine (issue #60, May 1994) for their excellent coverage above. I miss when gaming magazines were so lovingly crafted and fun to read.

AND LESS IN-DEPTH…

Credit Super Play Magazine (issue #20, June 1994) for their more humorous coverage above. They always had that cheeky sense of humor, them silly Super Play lads.

THE GAME

Level up just like in Knights of the Round — Level up just like in *Knights of the Round*

This increases your strength and defense. Most beat ‘em ups don’t allow for your character to level up, so this is a welcomed change to the norm.

Not all treasure chests are good for you

Some spit out harmful blobs of goo but the worst is a magical spray that will freeze and quickly sap your health if touched. Stay on your toes!

Assign a button to blocking to make your life easier — Blocking can be a lifesaver

The arcade version didn’t have a button for blocking, but the SNES version allows you to designate a button for blocking. Nice! Remember that only the Fighter, Cleric and Dwarf can block.

The ability to push orbs forward is absolutely genius

I love that you can strategically preserve magic orbs. Sometimes instead of striking an orb right away, it’s prudent to kill the weaker enemies currently on screen and then bounce the orb to the next section, saving it for tougher enemies. Sweet.

You can bounce orbs along for a good while before they start to flash. Once flashing, better strike the orb to activate it or you’ll risk losing out.

Where's Brendan Fraser when you need him?! — Where’s Brendan Fraser when you need him?!

Mummies are slow and lumbering but they inflict tons of pain if they catch you. This is where the Wizard or Elf comes in real handy with their long distance strikes.

Skeletons are a real pain in the ass. Not only are they tough, but they’re nimble enough to cause a headache as they prance about the screen in a creepy reanimated sort of way.

Capcom busts out their classic Yashichi once more

King of Dragons is not too hard once you get the hang of the characters’ strengths and weaknesses. It’s certainly beatable but you’ll definitely want to seek out these precious extra continues hidden throughout the game.

SWEET SIXTEEN

There are 16 levels in all, but some are insanely short. One stage doesn’t even have a boss. The stages are named which I found to be a nice touch. I’m a sucker for that sort of stuff even though some are incredibly simple. “To The Castle” followed by “In The Castle” — I wonder how long it took Capcom to think of that? But a few are pretty cool such as “A Giant In The Shrine.” The game takes you on quite the journey, ranging from a spider-infested forest to boarding a Norse ship.

The Orc King attacks with two morning stars. Watch his shadow and stay in the middle. Halfway through the Minotaur fight the ground breaks, sending the two of you descending to the floor below. Nice.

Another nice thing about this game is the diversity of the bosses. Sometimes you fight giant bipedal monsters. Other times you find yourself battling winged behemoths and three headed dragons. The strong fantasy setting takes you to a completely different realm from most other beat ‘em ups. Forget ye standard thugs and goons — it’s all about mythical beasts!

Stage 5 actually has no boss. I love the Cyclops in stage 6. It’s got such a simple great look and is the first thing I think of when I think King of Dragons.

The Great D, eh? No comment... — The Great D, eh? No comment…

If you hate spiders like I do, then you’ll LOVE the giant spiders in stage 7. The creepy bastards make my skin crawl. Watch out for the Great D’s big stick…

The diversity of the boss fights continue to shine. Battle a nimble Black Knight in stage 9. Take on a circling crew of phantoms at the end of stage 10. And while the graphics aren’t great per se, you can see the diversity there as well.

Indeed. And now you know where Goldar came from. The Royal Knights are reminiscent of the Black Knight, except now there’s two of them. Lucky you.

“We must do with the time that is given to us.” Once eloquently stated by the Dark Wizard. Or Gandalf, rather. He’s a fun boss fight. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for stage 14 which sees a lazy repeat of the boss from stage 3. Sure, one is fiery while the other is ice. Still, come on now, Capcom. Then again, coming from them (the masters of milking), are you surprised?

Capcom heard our cries loud and clear. So what do we get for it? TWO Cyclops at the end of stage 15! The last boss, Gildiss, is not only the hardest boss of the game but really the one boss that will give you any trouble.

ODDS AND ENDS

As you can see, some bosses more or less repeat. Take these two dragons for instance. Fire and ice. Not so nice. But the occasional “lazy” boss is forgivable considering the overall number of levels which far exceeds that of most other beat ‘em ups from the ’90s. So I can give Capcom a pass here.

The Dragon Rider boss from stage 8 becomes a recurring regular enemy later on. He’s thankfully not as strong as his boss form, though. It’s a shame you can’t knock the rider off and ride the dragon yourself. A wasted opportunity for sure.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

For the most part, King of Dragons fared reasonably well with the critics. EGM gave it scores of 8, 8, 7 and 7. GameFan gave it ratings of 78, 74 and 70%. Super Play was (once again) the harshest critic, rating it a paltry 53%. Super Play was notoriously stringent on beat ‘em ups, so I don’t take their scores for such games too seriously. Most people who have played the SNES port has raved about it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Prior to playing King of Dragons, I had heard lots of great things about it. It looked similar to Knights of the Round and coming from Capcom, I was sure to have a good time. Admittedly, I was a bit disappointed the first time I played it. I guess I had overhyped it too much based on everything I heard and read over the years. However, with repeated play I was able to then familiarize myself with the various characters and game mechanics. That’s when the light bulb came on and I began to appreciate all the subtle nuances. It impressed me with how varied it is for a beat ‘em up. Typically, these sort of games tend to grow repetitive pretty fast, but I find King of Dragons does a really good job of keeping repetition at bay. The five characters have different pros and cons across the board, making it fun to experiment with and forces you to employ different strategies. The bosses also have vastly different tactics and you must adjust for each one accordingly. The game doesn’t just throw you meathead after meathead where all you do is mash the attack button. And one of the best things about this game is the fact that sometimes there can be as many as five enemies on screen. The usual SNES count for these games is three, but King of Dragons will occasionally throw five at you. It’s impressive and makes you feel like other SNES beat ‘em ups are a bit lacking in the action department by comparison.

The visuals are pretty good although animation can be a bit stiff at times. Bosses look great — they’re often huge and menacing. Sound effects are pretty bad though, and the music isn’t anything to write home about. The gameplay (and atmosphere) is where King of Dragons excels. From the ability to block (for some of our heroes anyhow) to being able to level up, this has more variety and depth than most other beat ‘em ups. One thing that I had to get over early on was I thought this would be more of a beat ‘em up. By that I mean pounding bad guys in the face consecutively and then even throwing their carcasses around. It’s not like that so if you’re expecting that, you may be a bit disappointed (at least initially, like I was). You hack them once, then you move out of the way. Then you hack them again until they’re dead. There are no combos. No throws. No weapons to pick up (not necessary since they all already have weapons). It’s more of a hit and run affair, if that makes sense.

It’s a bit hard to describe but if you’ve played this game then you know what I mean. For example, some enemies die after one slash. Some die after two. And so forth. Whoever heard of one punch killing a bad guy? So the action is more measured and calculated than in most other beat ‘em ups, but I think in this case it works really well. There is some slowdown in the 2 player mode so it’s far from perfect. But overall, as far as the genre goes, this is easily one of the better beat ‘em ups on the Super Nintendo. It’s like a mix of Golden Axe and Knights of the Round. So if the idea of killing some Orcs, Minotaurs and Cyclops puts a big smile on your face, be sure to check out King of Dragons. And if you don’t quite “get it” on your very first try, I encourage you to stick with it and sample the different characters. Chances are you’ll hit your stride at some point and come to see why this is one of the best SNES beat ‘em ups ever made.

Graphics: 7
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.0
Silver Award

Undercover Cops (SFC)

Such wasted potential... — Such wasted potential…

Beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade scene in the early ’90s. Irem released Undercover Cops in 1992. They then went to work on a Super Nintendo version but that was sadly canned. However, Varie (you might remember that name from my previous review of the Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling trilogy) picked it up and released a Super Famicom only version in March of 1995. I was beyond thrilled to discover this fact upon my SNES resurrection in early 2006. I always wanted to play Undercover Cops on my SNES. Thanks to Varie, I now could. Unfortunately, the port falls a little flat with me. I couldn’t help but feel it was a little lacking. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind a bit by jumping 25 years into the future…

THE YEAR IS 2043

Council: “Everyone, the peace of our town is at its worst condition ever.”
Mayor: “I have a suggestion. Let the City Sweepers clean up the villains!”
Council: “Of course, Mayor. Violence begets violence! Let’s do it!”

Collectively, this fearsome unit is known as…

Individually, they’re known as, well, let’s go down the line.

Zan Takahara hails from Japan. He is the balanced fighter of the group.

Zan's super special move — Zan’s super special move

Matt Gables is your good old American football player turned City Sweeper slash Undercover Cop. Notice his birthday — July 4, 2018 — as of this writing he’s almost about to be born. Surprise surprise, he’s the slowest but also the strongest of the trio.

Matt's special move — Matt’s special move

Matt's super special move — Matt’s super special move

Rosa Felmonde hasn’t even been conceived yet! Hailing from England, Rosa is the token quick but weak female fighter of the group.

Rosa's special move — Rosa’s special move

Rosa's super special move — Rosa’s super special move

SOAP? WHO NEEDS SOAP?!

"MY BOX -- MINE!!" — ***“MY BOX — MINE!!”***

The first thing I noticed about Undercover Cops is how dirty the game looks. I don’t mean that in a bad way; I actually like that it’s so gritty and grimy. It gives the game a rather grim and bleak atmosphere. So many SNES games are full of bright and bold colors. Not here and that’s a welcome change. I almost feel like I have to take a shower after playing this game.

Battle your way through rundown abandoned buildings, grimy festering docks and inauspicious underground tunnels to name but a few. Everything is in a deep state of decay. The enemies mostly consist of subhuman creatures. A wretched decrepit flock of sideshow freaks. You can bet they haven’t bathed in months (if not years). Even the good guys appear unpleasant and a bit dour.

Under the crows -- surprise! — Under the crows — surprise!

Little details, as seen above, add to the fun of the game (it’s a shame then that the best stuff occurs early on). Crows fly off revealing in its wake two filthy bastards who soon rise like zombies. Send ‘em back to the hell hole they came from!

WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

Hey, it's high in protein y'know — Hey, it’s high in protein y’know

To replenish your health, most beat ‘em ups have you consuming burgers, drinks and assorted meat. But not in Undercover Cops. So what does one eat? Mice, chicken, even snails! Gobble them up before they can scamper (or crawl) away. To make matters even more unsettling, the cops voice their pleasure whenever eating such delicacies. Zan gruffly shouts “GOOD!” and Matt screams “DELICIOUS!” Yum.

EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

While other beat ‘em ups give you knives to fling or bats to swing, Undercover Cops on the other hand walks to its own beat. For example, nothing says PAIN quite like tossing flopping fish at the opposition.

But my favorite instrument of destruction is the random concrete pillar. You can either knock it over or unearth it with your bare hands (it’s quite amusing to watch the ongoing struggle that ensues).

Love the R-Type cameo there! — Love the *R-Type* cameo there!

Naturally, Matt is able to pluck it out faster than Zan or Rosa. Matt and Zan can use the pillar the same amount of times while it breaks fastest for Rosa. Poor Rosa. She’s got a serious case of Breath of the Wild…

Dobkeratops from R-Type III — Dobkeratops from *R-Type III*

It’s always lovely to see companies throwing in clever little easter eggs that show off past franchises. I always enjoy seeing stuff like that.

The concrete pillar just might be my favorite non-projectile based weapon to use in beat ‘em up history. It’s so satisfying to knock over the deformed cretins with it.

Here we come to the first boss, Parcs. He’s hiding a nasty secret beneath that weird looking exterior. Weaken him and soon he reveals his true form.

... you can crush his ass! — … you can crush his ass!

Bonus points for a highly creative first boss encounter. I love it when beat ‘em ups let you interact with the environment so seeing this for the first time had me jumping out of my chair. It’s too bad though that the rest of the boss fights are nowhere near as creative or fiendishly fun.

The beginning of Mission 2 is my favorite part in the whole game. Kick the barrel of flames or better yet, heave it at the enemies.

Don't let that snail get away! — Don’t let that snail get away!

Upon impact the barrel will liberate a flurry of burning torches. It’s time to burn some bad guys alive! WICKED fun.

Love the enemy taunts — Enemy taunts are on fire…

The scoundrels can toss the torches as well, and if you’re knocked down, one rapscallion in particular enjoys a hearty laugh at your expense.

The second boss, Fransowors, is where I personally believe the game began to lose me. It’s such an awkward character design and hell, even the name itself is weird. I didn’t like the aesthetics of this boss encounter at all. The background is dull and drab and Fransowors is one big annoying crybaby. It’s a major disappointment coming off the brilliance of the first boss fight with Parcs.

These underground diggers are deadly when traveling in packs. They like to do the spin cycle which automatically knocks you down. Unfortunately, because you aren’t granted temporary invulnerability after being knocked down, they can and will spam attack you until your life is gone. Only then can you beat them when you’re revived and then granted that precious second or two of invincibility. I hate when games make you lose a life and there’s nothing you can do about it. To me that’s plain lazy and poor game design and programming. My experience with Undercover Cops began to really sour at this point.

I dig the flashing tunnel. Reminds me of Elevator Action Returns…

These suckers greet you with a nasty little love tap if you’re caught in their path. They can’t be killed so just steer clear as they mindlessly march on by. Sometimes it gets really crowded and it feels impossible to come out unscathed. Luckily, any damage they inflict isn’t too much. Still rather annoying, however.

The end level guardian is a monster born from malpractice. And it wants you for dinner… not as a guest but the main course attraction! Sadly, this is where the game ends if you play it on Easy. Only on Normal or Hard can you go through all 5 missions. Below are some quick shots of missions 4 and 5 (note: these screenshots will depict the original arcade version).

Mission 4 = Motorcycle Madness. The SNES port allows you to assign a button to the run command. Turn this option on to make your life a lot easier.

Mission 5 is the longest and most tedious level in the game. You fight across a seemingly endless skyship where you battle a never-ending supply of cronies and a handful of Parcs (the boss from Mission 1).

Better stop Dr. Crayborn from launching the nuke before it’s too late. You’ll get a bad ending if you fail to do so.

Finally coming toward the end, you must battle zombie versions of the team!

Where’s Rick Grimes when you need him?

Doctor, I think there’s something wrong with you…

Crayborn is taken away — Crayborn is escorted to prison

Spend the rest of your life in the slammer — *Where he’ll rot away the rest of his days*

The End, right? Not quite... — The end, right? Not quite…

In a fabulous twist... — In a fabulous twist…

ASSESSMENT DAY

Your performance is tallied up at the end of each Mission. Depending on how much money you’ve earned, you’ll regain a certain amount of health (if applicable).

DEJA VU

Matt reminds me of... — Matt reminds me of…

J. Max appeared in World Heroes 2 — *World Heroes 2* was silly fun

ARCADE COMPARISON

Obviously, there’s going to be a certain amount of sacrifices made when a company converts an arcade game into a much smaller SNES cartridge. Undercover Cops is no different. It was something you just accepted as a kid and in most cases, you were just happy to have a home port to mess around with.

LIFE AFTER CITY SWEEPING

Irem went on to make other similar post-apocalyptic arcade action games. These include:

In The Hunt (April 1993) — *In The Hunt* (April 1993)

Gun Force II (1994) — *Gun Force 2* (1994)

A lot of the team who helped made Undercover Cops later formed the Nazca Corporation. They were responsible for a very famous Neo Geo game…

Metal Slug (May 1996) — *Metal Slug* (May 1996)

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

Undercover Cops was actually set for a March 1994 release. Hell, it was even reviewed in the March 1994 issue of Nintendo Power Magazine (issue #58). Sadly, it was canned and never saw the light of day in North America. Varie picked up the publishing rights exactly one year later and released it in Japan only on March 3, 1995. The actual Super Famicom cartridge currently commands a minimum of $200 — yowzers!

Not meant to be (1993 is a typo there, should say 1994) — Not meant to be (1993 is a typo; it should say 1994)

Maybe the ugly Americanized art sealed its own fate. By God is that fugly! Should have gone with the Japanese style box art…

Now that's what I'm talking about — Now that’s what I’m talking about

Looks like the US version was fully finished and ready to go, especially if you’re going off the fact that Nintendo Power reviewed it. Not sure why it was canned except maybe Irem didn’t have faith in it moving the needle as it was a port of an arcade game two years long in the tooth and one that wasn’t a household name in North America. Whatever the case may be, it’s always sad to see promising games cancelled. I’m glad Varie picked up its publishing rights in 1995 even if the port job is a bit disappointing on Irem’s part.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Remember Spike Lee’s movie Do The Right Thing from 1989? The character Radio Raheem sported a four-fingered ring on each hand, with LOVE on the right hand and HATE on the left, to symbolize the struggle between the two emotions. That perfectly describes how I feel about Undercover Cops. I have a love-hate relationship with this game. I love that it was released at all following the US cancellation. I dig how twisted it can be at times, from eating snails to even knocking the skull off of Mission 4’s boss post fight and scarfing it down like how Joey Chestnut eats his hot dogs! I love the post-apocalyptic atmosphere. However, some of the aesthetics could use a little more work. Not having a 2 player option in 1995 is inexcusable. It reeks of laziness. I can see why it’s 1 player only, though. Even in the 1 player mode there’s a bit of occasional slowdown. I can only imagine how much worse it would be in a 2 player mode. But other companies managed to make it work, relatively speaking, so Irem should have found a way as well. I also hate that the game loses a lot of its appeal and luster by around Mission 3. I find it more repetitive than other beat ‘em ups from that era.

Not having a 2 player mode is not a deal breaker though especially if the game itself is good enough on its own. Sadly, there’s something missing. It’s definitely not a bad beat ‘em up but I can easily think of 10 more competent SNES beat ‘em ups I would much rather play. Undercover Cops is one of those games that start out real promising but quickly lose steam less than halfway through. Others have raved about this SNES version but try as I might over the 12 years I’ve owned it, I just can’t give it a ringing endorsement.

Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling Trilogy (SFC)

On September 17, 2017, we lost one of the truly great ones. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. THE heel manager of the late 1980s and early 1990s, if you were a pro wrestling fan you loved to boo Bobby Heenan. He was a once in a lifetime performer. Always entertaining, Bobby knew how to make you laugh and hate him all at the same time. When he passed last September, I wanted to convert over my old review of the Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling games. That’s because in that review, I used Bobby Heenan to call the action. But life got busy and it never happened.

Earlier today it was announced that Big Van Vader passed away on June 18, 2018. Vader was featured in the first Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling game so it’s time. It’s Vader Time!

The best wrestling manager that ever lived

One of the best big men ever. R.I.P. Vader and Bobby — *One of the best big men ever*. R.I.P. Vader and Bobby

Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling is something of a sentimental purchase for me. The reason being it was the first Super Famicom game that I bought, and what started the “obscure” Super Famicom march for me. I remember it fondly. It was an early Monday morning, March 27, 2006. 4:22 AM. Yep, I was a vampire. I sniped Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling on eBay with 3 seconds to go. Crazy times. Anyway, this is the first of Varie’s Super Famicom wrestling trilogy. It features impressive big sprites of famous wrestlers like LIGER and VADER (10 in all).

The grapple system relies on timing similar to the Fire Pro series. I was hoping it would be as good as Fire Pro. Unfortunately I think Varie spent too much time on the graphics because while they look great, the frame rate is choppy to the point where it’s just not very fun to play. This game was a huge letdown for me. The graphics are awesome, sure, but it doesn’t play very well. It’s too bad because it had a lot of potential. In terms of visuals, it actually reminds me a bit of WWF WrestleFest. Just a shame it didn’t play better.

A bittersweet experience, then. My first Super Famicom purchase so I’ll always remember it. But as a game itself? Not all that great. Varie followed this up with a sequel. Let’s see if it’s any better.

The first game, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling: Chou Senshi in Tokyo Dome, was released on September 14, 1993. The sequel, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling ’94: Battlefield in Tokyo Dome, came out less than a year later (August 12, 1994). The sprites have been downsized and as a result the frame rate has been improved, making this sequel much more playable than its predecessor.

The roster doubled, going from 10 to a whopping 20 (including the Legion of Doom and yes, a very young pre-homicide Chris Benoit). Unfortunately, it still doesn’t quite come together.

"OHHHH WHAT A RUSHHHH!" — **“OHHHH WHAT A RUSHHHH!”**

Similar to the first game, it looks pretty good but something about the gameplay is a bit off, despite the improved frame rate. It’s a much better effort than the first one though, but it still doesn’t match the quality of a Fire Pro.

Varie would give it one last try. Might the third time be the charm?

Released on June 30, 1995, Shin Nippon Pro Wrestling ’95: Tokyo Dome Battle 7 is the third and final game in the Shin Nippon trilogy (not counting the female version Stardust Suplex). Did Varie finally get it right? Well, somewhat. It’s easily the best of the trilogy but it still pales in comparison to Fire Pro. Some roster changes were made, though 20 remains the count. Say goodbye to the Great Muta and hello to the Great Sasuke. The frame rate is the best of the trilogy and the graphics were not sacrificed either. Weapons are introduced. But what really makes this game is the new FATAL FOUR WAY BATTLE ROYAL mode. It’s good fun and slightly reminiscent of Capcom’s Saturday Night Slam Masters (although that one was a Texas Tornado Bedlam rather than a true Fatal Four Way Match).

All time legends. Sadly, Vince is the only one still alive — All time legends. Vince is the only one still alive

At this time, I’ll hand the mic over to my two all-time favorite commentators: the late great Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. They’ll call the action that follows. Tonight we have a special treat for you. A blistering Fatal Four Way Battle Royal!

Introducing first… from PARTS UNKNOWN… he IS… THE MASKED MAULER… THE MONARCH OF THE MAT… THE MINISTER OF MENACE… THE GREAT SASUKE!!!

And introducing, from Michigan, Scott Steiner.

[The f*ck! -Scott Steiner]

Damn that was cold -Rick Steiner — *Damn that was cold* -Rick Steiner

And THEIR OPPONENTS… first he hails from THE COSMOS… he IS… the SUBMISSION SPECIALIST… the SADISTIC SAVAGE… the SANGUINARY SOLDIER… JUSHIN “THUNDER” LIGER!!!

And finally, he resides from Bay City, Michigan… Rick Steiner.

[HEY! What gives? -Rick Steiner]

Bobby: You know Monsoon, the Steiners are brothers.
Gorilla: Give me a break!
Bobby: I hate all four of these guys. I hope they all cripple each other.
Gorilla: Will you stop! How do you sleep at night?
Bobby: Oh, on my side, usually…
Gorilla: You need professional help.
Bobby: What?! Just answering your question! Sometimes I sleep on my stomach though…
Gorilla: WHAT A PIECE OF WORK YOU ARE!

Gorilla: [ignoring the Brain] Ladies and gentlemen, history will be made here tonight. Capacity crowd, jam packed to the rafters, the electricity is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
Bobby: I have to give the edge here to Liger, much as I can’t stand his guts, Monsoon. He’s the quickest.
Gorilla: Rick Steiner might be at a distinct disadvantage here because he’s the most lethargic of the four.
Bobby: And he’s slow too!

Gorilla: WHAT A PEARL HARBOR JOB!
Bobby: I told you Monsoon! Sasuke was my guy all along!
Gorilla: Will you be serious? The guys with the white coat and the net are going to be looking for you.
Bobby: I rather not see your family again.

Gorilla: The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
Bobby: So much for that theory.

Gorilla: Sasuke is really stretching out those lateral collateral ligaments in the knee.
Bobby: IN ENGLISH PLEASE!

Gorilla: Ouch! That’s excedrin headache number 2,182. Makes me glad I retired.
Bobby: [Mocking Gorilla] There’s one to the cervial dervial part of the neck!
Gorilla: Oh will you stop!

Gorilla: Sasuke just pinned and eliminated Rick Steiner! We now have a triple threat match! It’s pandemonium!
Bobby: I told you Monsoon, he was just too slow for this type of match.
Gorilla: [Mockingly] And lethargic too, right?
Bobby: Yeah, that too.

Gorilla: Good night nurse!
Bobby: Not if she spent it with you!
Gorilla: Grow up, Brain.
Bobby: Hey Monsoon, you know why the Great Sasuke wears a mask?
Gorilla: No, why?
Bobby: Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Gorilla: Will you please!

Gorilla: Sasuke has taken over the match! The arena is deafening!
Bobby: Get that Benjamin ready for me, Monsoon!
Gorilla: Will you stop! What kind of broadcast journalist are you?
Bobby: The kind that takes cash only!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Tokyo Dome Battle 7 isn’t a shabby wrestling game, but it’s not as good as the Fire Pro or Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling titles. But to Varie’s credit, Tokyo Dome Battle 7 is the most refined of the trilogy. The added Battle Royal mode is chaotic and a good amount of fun. If you’re a diehard wrestling fan and you have to have one from this Varie trilogy, make it Tokyo Dome Battle 7. It pretty much renders the two previous entries useless unless you’re a collector or the type who enjoys seeing the ‘evolution’ of a series.

My Shin Nippon and Zen Nippon Wrestling collection — My *Shin Nippon* and *Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling* collection

It’s pretty obvious why all these games stayed in Japan, although Natsume Championship Wrestling (a variation of the Zen Nippon Pro Wrestling games) did make its way to North America in the summer of 1994.

Pouring one out for all these guys and gals plus all the others we’ve lost in the past couple years since this great music video was released. Thanks for the memories, y’all.

Sandra no Daibouken (SFC)

Sandra no Daibouken, or Xandra no Daibōken: Valkyrie to no Deai to give it its more proper Japanese title, or Whirlo in Europe, goes by many names. Whatever you call it, it’s one tough son of a gun. Translated as Xandra’s Great Adventure: Encounter with the Valkyrie, this is a rock hard action platformer that will test the mettle of even the most skilled gamer. As such, it’s not for everyone. Patience and persistence is the order of the day here. Although it never came to North America, it was released also in Europe as Whirlo in 1992. Super Play Magazine was very high on it, ranking it #86 on their Top 100 SNES Games list. They rated it 85%. I’m a huge fan of Super Play as readers may remember, and I’ll let them take the reigns on this one. The following review comes courtesy of Super Play.

The box art for the rare PAL European version

What a North American version might look like

Nice poster! Great job there, Greg Martin

SUPER PLAY’S WHIRLO REVIEW

What initially looks like a rather poor Wonder Boy clone actually turns out to be a top-notch arcade adventure, enlivened by some very versatile controls. These take getting used to, but once learnt prove to be extremely rewarding — if a bit frustrating at times.

Pitchfork in hand, no one’s eating this blob of jelly.

Graphically, Sandra is a mixed affair, with both lovely and rather drab bits. The main sprite has consistent appeal though, and the way he can jump and land on top of baddies with his pitchfork is a joy — and a lot less disturbing than it sounds!

The gameplay is as patchy as the background graphics, however — at some points it’s simply great fun, while other bits are a real pain.

Throughout it all the generally melancholy tunes add tons to the game, even if they do get slightly repetitive. Indeed, the whole feel of the game is tear jerkingly sad — not just the music but also the general atmosphere and the plot (our hero has to collect various special herbs to help cure his dying son).

Passwords are given at regular points but it’ll still take you a fair while to find the herbs, due to the fiendishly designed levels. A real discovery, then, and a game that offers the player a lot more than it first appears. Things get better and more complicated as you progress (indeed, it’s fiendishly difficult in certain sections). You can almost feel the boy’s life draining away as you struggle with a particularly tricky section.

Occasionally, a bit of Japanese text crops up but don’t let that turn you off — understanding it all is not crucial to gameplay. This is likely to remain an obscure game in the UK, though we expect something of a cult following around it — great fun! -Jason Brookes

Graphics: 84%
Sound: 89%
Gameplay: 82%
Gamelife: 91%

Overall: 88%

Verdict: A wonderfully versatile and highly unusual game that, as a slightly bizarre trip into Japanese eccentricity and mysticism, is hard to beat. Despite some infuriating sections, this is highly recommended, especially to hardcore gamers. One thing is for certain — no one will finish this in a hurry.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Usually I am in concurrence with Super Play when it comes to their game opinions (minus most beat ‘em ups as they were simply too harsh on that particular genre), but this is the rare case where I disagree a bit. Admittedly, Sandra no Daibouken is one of those games I still need to further explore but quite frankly, in the time I spent with it I found it simply not all that fun. My main issue is that the control could use some work, which I feel accounts partially for why it is so difficult. I don’t mind a tough fair challenge so long as the control is tight and fluid. I didn’t feel it was for Sandra no Daibouken.

On the bright side, there is a simplicity to the game that can be rather appealing. There are zero power-ups — everything you need to succeed you start the game off with. There’s also a wide variety of jumps you can perform. The game plot is intriguing as well; most SNES games didn’t have such a dark plot. I liked the idea of having to cure my dying son rather than the typical damsel in distress or save the world plot that has been beaten to death. Of course, storyline isn’t why I play platformers but in this case, it paints a somber mood for Sandra no Daibouken (in addition to the music and somewhat bleak visuals) that lend to a dreary atmosphere ideal to play on a late darkening afternoon.

There is a solid game here for sure, but I’m not sure I’d give it an 88% like Super Play did. That said, it’s definitely one of those games I’d like to replay more in-depth at some point. But for now I can’t personally vouch for this game in the way that Super Play did. As always, your mileage may vary so try it out for yourself (and leave a comment below if you’re so inclined). Tough old school 16-bit platformers your thing? Then Sandra no Daibouken might be right up your alley.