July | 2018 | RVGFanatic

Rocky Rodent (SNES)

***Pub & Dev: Irem | September 1993 | 8 MEGS***

The Super Nintendo is home to dozens and dozens of platformers. As with any genre, it comes with a wide range of quality. Some are well known and excellent (Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario World) while others are a bit more obscure and not too shabby in their own right (Dino City, Harley’s Humongous Adventure, Hook). Then there are downright awful ones that are better off forgotten about. It was merely a sign of the times. Speaking of which, the early-mid ’90s became the age of the me too mascot platformer. Sonic the Hedgehog created a massive stir when it became a mega smash hit for Sega in 1991 and had countless companies clamoring to throw their name in the hat with their own mascot platformer. Animals with attitude were the order of the day and Irem was no different when they released Rocky Rodent. The question is, does Rocky Rodent make the grade? Let’s find out.

25 YEARS OF… NITRO PUNKS?!

Exactly 25 years ago today, Nitro Punks: Might Heads (what a title) hit the Japanese market. July 30, 1993-July 30, 2018. Yet another game from my youth turns 25 — gawd damn I’m getting old. Nitro Punks was renamed Rocky Rodent and was released in North America during the fall of ’93. I remember seeing Rocky Rodent in various game rental stores throughout my area in late ’93. I never got to rent it but I always wanted to. Alas, you know how older brothers often get their way, and sadly for me, Rocky Rodent never piqued my brother’s renting interest. The box of Rocky Rodent would come to haunt me as its titular rodent would seemingly sneer at me at every turn. In my own mind I envisioned Rocky Rodent being a pretty fun and competent platformer. It became one of many SNES childhood curiosities I would finally quell following my SNES resurrection in early 2006. Sometimes, your gut was right all along. Other times, not so much. Which one you gonna be, Rocky?

Spoiler: Pretty close to my gut feeling back in 93! — Spoiler: Pretty close to my gut feeling back in ’93!

Happy 25th nevertheless! — Happy 25th Rocky!

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Various spray cans litter the stages waiting to be picked up. Each hairdo not only grants Rocky certain abilities but an extra life as well (Rocky dies if he’s hit when bald). It’s a pretty cool gimmick although you can still hop and bop to your heart’s content. But the zany hairdos definitely steal the show.

The Braid allows Rocky to swing as well. The Mohawk leaves Rocky vulnerable when tossed. Technically, you are bald when chucking it, so be aware of that.

Use the Spring to reach new heights. The Bird Nest Wig unleashes Picky, a bird who acts as a computer controlled helper (similar to the option helpers from Gradius III). Each hairdo has its own pros and cons. They add to the game’s quirky atmosphere.

THE STORY GOES…

Rocky, a dine and dash artist with an insatiable appetite, finds himself in a… ahem… hairy situation. Apparently Rocky has gone and done it again, trying to cheat yet another restaurant.

Fortunately for our anti-hero, Rocky runs into the Rose Restaurant owner whose only daughter Melody has been kidnapped by Mafia member, Don Garcia. He makes an offer Rocky can’t refuse — save Melody and it’s all you can eat on the house. It’s a very nonsensical plot but there’s sort of a cheesy charm to it all.

DOWNTOWN

Remember Sparkster from Rocket Knight Adventures (and er, Sparkster)? The very first enemy you encounter in Rocky Rodent, an armored armadillo, looks awfully similar to Sparkster. Just a random coincidence though, as Rocket Knight Adventures came out on the Sega Genesis almost exactly one week later (August 5, 1993).

Spruce up your style with a brand new hairdo. Not only will you look cooler, but it’s vital to staying alive longer. Not to mention all the cool new tricks you’ll be able to do with a new ‘do.

Rocky’s cling and fling technique with this first hairdo is sure to impress the ladies.

Impale enemies with your spiky hair and toss them back to take out an entire row. Works just like the Koopa shells from the Mario games. Use the water sprout for a much needed lift.

Speaking of lifts, bounce off the café awnings to reach the rooftop where Rocky will be greeted by all his favorite yummy treats. I like how he slides on the roof. It’s the little details!

Similar to Sonic, Rocky is a fast little sucker. However, be careful about when to exercise said speed. Here, it’s required. But most elsewhere, speed kills.

SUNSET FREEWAY

Platformer rule #72: There must be some kind of auto scrolling stage. Bingo, you’re looking at it. Race down this freeway and avoid the various hazards. I like how you can see the sun gradually setting over the horizon.

Hightail it, Rocky! Chuck E. Cheese’s reject sighting!

Gorgeous… but deadly. Oh so deadly.

Bizarre doesn’t begin to describe this game. Mutant rats driving a ’70s Volkswagen while a Mob boss attempts to mow you down with a Tommy gun? Yeah…

GHOST APARTMENT

Mohawk acts like a boomerang. Sick.

Mohawk also allows Rocky to cling and fling.

Makeshift boost as well! Nice.

Whoever owns this apartment is going to curse Rocky for all the property damage he’s causing.

Platformers sometimes need a way to impede certain routes at least for the time being. These funky door blockers earn Irem bonus points for creativity. Best of all, when you eventually do reach the other side, you can ram Rocky’s spiky hairdo up their you know what! Hey, it’s the little things. Also, hit those markers to save your spot ~~should~~ when you die (this game is freaking hard).

Falling chandeliers and going down random tubes are the order of the day.

Crumbling blocks lead us to… Slimer and friends?!

Apartment with a random teeter totter and anvil? Alright then. It sends Rocky sky high.

Admire and enjoy that cool night air, because it’s going to be hot once you get back in.

Poltergeist shit starts to go down. Hey, this place isn’t called Ghost Apartment for nothing.

Random furniture and crap start coming Rocky’s way fast. Be quick!

Haunting the apartment is the ghost of Mr. Potato Head. He seems tricky at first but he actually has a very easy pattern.

RANDOM ROCKY

Man, they’re really taking this “Mascot with Attitude” thing seriously, aren’t they?

Don't accept rides from strangers, kids — Don’t accept rides from strangers, kids

Yeah, that’s not creepy at all…

Rocky Rodent has its fair share of sight gags. They don’t cause any harm to Rocky; they’re just there to make you smile.

I kinda miss the days when mascot platformers had all these wacky sight gags. It was sort of a sign of the times. It felt like everyone and their brothers were doing it. Endearing when done right!

Loved him back in the '80s! — Loved him back in the ’80s!

Here is the controversial scene Nintendo didn’t want you to see!

Just wait ’til Rocky puts the moves on her.

How Irem managed to slip this past Nintendo remains a mystery to this very day.

Rocky Rodent wasn’t their only SNES game mired in controversy.

Irem CEO: Hey! Why the dirt on our good name, sir? What wrongs have we EVER done?

[I’ll handle this… -Ed.]

Irem CEO: *sweating* … oh right, THAT. Um, look over there! Quickly Smithers, TO THE BASEMENT!

[At long last, sir! -Smithers]

See the trouble you’ve caused now?

[*snickers* -Ed.]

Back to Rocky Rodent, then…

The ad typified the times we were living in, back in good old 1993. I remember sort of drooling over the ad thinking that Rocky Rodent was a great name for a mascot platformer, Rocky was cool and that the game would probably be pretty good. It somehow reminded me of the spirit of NES games from the early ’90s, and I mean that in the best possible way. Just made me think of lesser known obscure NES platformers like Totally Rad and Werewolf for some reason…

Awesome fan art by theoriginalmistajonz!

More cool Rocky fan art, this time by elchavoman

ROCK HARD

I remember seeing this as a kid back in 1994 and thinking “Damn, Rocky Rodent must be super hard.” And it sort of is, especially once you get to the second half of the game. Starts out easy enough, but absolutely wrecks you later on. EGM wasn’t kidding!

Yeah, get ready to see plenty of that.

Thankfully there is a cheat code for infinite continues but EVEN THAT is hard to do! Press start at the title screen and Rocky begins his mad dash. Press Y, A, R, A, B, A before he reaches the end. I can’t consistently pull it off because that bloody Rocky is quite the runner, the bastard.

The later levels are so hard that your heart will feel like that playing it. Oh and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Rocky Rodent has the coolest (and grossest) 1-UP icon in the business.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Rocky Rodent fared well with the critics, at least the ones here in North America anyhow. They thought that it was a very solid and even surprising semi-hit of sorts. They also voiced their desire for a 16-MEG sequel in 1994. Of course, it was never meant to be as this is Rocky’s one and only showing. EGM gave it scores of 7, 7, 8 and 8. GameFan gave it ratings of 79, 82, 85 and 86%. Super Play, on the other hand, was not impressed. No shocker there as they were notorious for being harsh on “me too” platformers and beat ‘em ups in particular. Super Play rated Rocky Rodent a paltry 50%.

Ouch. Super Play was too harsh I think... — Ouch. Super Play was too harsh I think…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Mascot platformers were a dime a dozen back in 1993. Sonic the Hedgehog more or less kickstarted that whole “me too” movement that would inevitably flood the gaming market (a much different and not so serious me too movement from the one we’ve seen in recent times). You had to be special to stand out in a crowded genre. You had to be different. Distinguished. Some, like Rocket Knight Adventures and Plok, managed to rise above the ranks and captured the hearts of many. But too many others failed to make an impression and quickly faded away into obscurity. Rocky Rodent, for me at least, lies somewhere in the middle. Though sadly, its fate is still that of one that has vanished into the ether.

Rocky Rodent got lost in a crowd of countless me too platformers that overflowed the Super Nintendo in the early-mid ’90s. It’s not a shabby platformer at all. The different hairstyles add some strategy and depth to the game. The game looks relatively good for its time and the music was actually pretty catchy and a tier or two above most games of this ilk. I found myself bobbing along with the soundtrack at points. The music in the Ghost Apartment was far creepier and more sinister sounding than I expected in a “kiddy game” such as this.

Even though Rocky Rodent is fairly paint by the numbers, the dressing is slightly different enough to make the game feel like Irem actually put in a good effort. And that effort certainly shows at times. The different hairstyles are fun to to use and the stages are designed around the abilities of said styles. Sure, Rocky Rodent might come off as a bit generic at times but I think it’s got some soul to it as well. Irem injected a good dose of humor and personality into the game. Look no further than the various sight gags or that random shower scene in the apartment. So wonderfully odd and memorable! On the downside, the control is not as crisp as I would like. The insane difficulty, combined with a lack of password system, definitely brings down the game a bit. But hey, there are far worse platformers you could play on the system. *cough* Bubsy *cough*

Interestingly enough, the game has a bit of a 1940s look to it. Just take a gander at some of those old vehicles and buildings! In addition, it admirably refrains from regurgitating the same old tired themes such as wood, fire and ice-based stages. It somehow manages to come off smelling like a slight breath of fresh air despite being standard platforming 101. It’s by no means an all time classic but if you’re in the mood for a simple yet challenging platformer, this may suffice (and in some cases, even satisfy). As such, Rocky Rodent is a worthy addition for anyone looking to expand their Super Nintendo library beyond the usual suspects.

Graphics: 7.5
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7
Longevity: 5

Overall: 7.0

Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)

***Pub: Sega | Dev: Sonic Team | June 1991***

It took 11 ½ years but it’s finally here: my very first Sega Genesis review on RVGFanatic. Now as readers know, I love the Super Nintendo and my site is mostly dedicated to the almighty SNES. But I also love(d) the Genesis. I grew up with one and it gave me many fond memories. I’ve been meaning to reminisce about certain Genesis games ever since the inception of RVGFanatic back in 2007, but it just never happened for one reason or another. Until now. Inspiration struck when earlier today my pre-ordered copy of Sonic Mania Plus arrived in the mail. It brought back a wave of nostalgia. I can’t think of a better time to look back on Sonic the Hedgehog than right here, right now.

27 years later and the blue hedgehog is still going strong — 27 years later and the blue hedgehog is *still* *going strong*

So freakin' GLORIOUS — So freakin’ **GLORIOUS**

SONIC MANIA

Sega’s lovable mascot made a huge splash when it landed in the summer of 1991 and made the Sega Genesis system an absolute MUST BUY. Sonic was Sega’s answer to Nintendo’s Mario and kickstarted the whole “mascot with a ‘tude” era of the early-mid 1990s. Sonic would become a pop culture icon and his various games over the years have left an indelible mark in the minds and hearts of many. I still vividly remember my uncle buying a Genesis along with Sonic the Hedgehog for me and my brother in the summer of ’91. Our friends were proud Genesis owners in 1989 and 1990 so we got to play the system plenty, but it wasn’t until we saw Sonic the Hedgehog that we knew it was time to make the jump. You can ask any gamer from that generation and they too would have a Sonic the Hedgehog story to tell you. It’s one of those rare special games that everyone sort of remembers where they were the first time they saw it.

A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE

Who could ever forget the classic first stage of the first game? Green Hill Zone was the perfect introductory stage with its lush greenery and ridiculously catchy music. The theme conveys a sense of adventure, energy and heroism all at once. The music in this game is amazing and just hearing a second of it instantly transports me back to the summer of 1991 playing Sonic the Hedgehog in my living room with my brother and our friends.

BLAST PROCESSING, BABY! Sega’s infamous pitch to sell the game might have been hyperbole, but Sonic was certainly quite the speedster. The rings serve as your health. Whenever Sonic is hit, his rings go flying. When he’s hit with 0 rings, it’s Game Over. I remember thinking it was a pretty cool and clever idea!

Bopping off one baddie and hitting another before you landed not only looked and felt great, but it multiplied your points too.

Power-ups such as temporary invincibility and the shield are part of Sonic lore. The sound effect of the shield enveloping Sonic is embedded in my mind still to this day. BONG!

Make sure to hit that lollipop marker (as us kids liked to call it once upon a time). And watch out for those rotating thorns!

Ah, the classic loop the loop. I can’t think of Sonic without thinking about them. The two go hand in hand like Godzilla and Japan!

Mario has Bowser. The aforementioned Godzilla has King Ghidorah. Sonic has Dr. Robotnik. Always fun beating his fat ass

True story: when I was a kid I thought Marble Zone was sort of a homage to the first stage of Altered Beast (the game that launched with the Genesis back in the late ’80s). Ah, the innocence of being 8 years old!

"WISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!" — ***“WISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!”***

Love the way the fire trails you and love the sound it makes. Just classic stuff from Sega.

Remember bypassing each one of these one at a time and waiting patiently for those Zordon glass containers to lift? You know you do.

Goddamn it, it really does look like it, no? — Goddamn it, it *really does* look like it, no?

I love the sound the chain makes when it ascends.

Marble Zone Act 2 brings the lava action. The visual of the rising lava is SEARED in my brain, pardon the pun.

Spring Yard Zone is another memorable level. Who could ever forget bouncing Sonic off the bumper balls like a pinball?

Ah lollipop marker... my old friend — Ah, lollipop marker… my old friend

Battle Dr. Robotnik at the end of each world, with his gimmick shifting for each fight. I remember thinking as a kid how dope that was. It gave me a sense that I was really beating him at every turn rather than what most platformers do instead (i.e. the big bad sending his cronies to deal with you in the levels prior to the final showdown). Obviously Sonic the Hedgehog drew some influences from the Mario games but it’s also obvious that Sega threw their own spin on it (pun intended, not intended) and made it their own.

Alright, raise your hand if Labyrinth Zone terrorized you as a kid. Looking back, it’s really not that hard a stage but I guess at the time it was my youthful inexperience and anxiety that got the worst of me. It’s because of this and the water dam level from NES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that made me weary of playing any stages featuring water.

No Donnie! Its NOT OK! — **NO DONNIE! IT’S NOT OK!**

Wait for the big bubble to give Sonic a respite. This used to induce mini panic attacks on me when I was 8! Especially when that damn frenetic music would kick in with the 5 second countdown to alert you that poor Sonic is on the verge of drowning!

It’s OK, buddy. There’s a Groupon on group therapy we can redeem.

Ah. away from water at last — Ah, away from water at last

On my very short list of disappointments with this game, Star Light Zone is definitely one of them. Based on the name of the stage, my 8 year old self imagined a grandiose world littered by hundreds of multi-colored and different sized stars (including exaggeratedly enormous ones). Sadly the actual stars are just normal, rendering the overall effect forgettable. The world is not a fraction as colorful as I expected a “Star Light Zone” to be. Although Star Light Zone features some pretty cool ideas such as the fans and teeter totters, it felt like Sonic Team dropped the proverbial ball as it relates to appearance and atmosphere.

In fact, my mind often switches Spring Yard Zone and Star Light Zone, as a sign of my inner desire for Star Light Zone to be brighter and bigger than what it is.

The oddly titled (and looking) Scrap Brain Zone doesn’t mess around. Industrial in its look and design, it features the game’s trickiest platforming and even includes some underwater sections to navigate through.

Personally, I didn’t care too much for the aesthetics of Scrap Brain Zone. It’s not one of those memorable final worlds that spring to mind when I think of such things. It’s rather mechanical (in spirit), which granted makes a ton of sense because it is Dr. Robotnik’s lair, but still. It feels a little too lifeless and definitely ranks toward the bottom of my least favorite zones in this game, along with the aforementioned disappointing Star Light Zone.

Thankfully, the final fight with Dr. Robotnik is highly memorable and something that has stuck with me throughout the ages. It’s simply classic and fun to play. After a small speed bump, Sonic the Hedgehog definitely ends on a high note.

BONUS ROUND

If you beat a stage with 50 or more rings and manage to jump into the big golden ring at level’s end, then you’ll be transported here. It’s a crazy dream-like psychedelic experience. Do your best to avoid the red dots of death and make your way to the middle to claim your Chaos Emerald. This bonus round blew our minds back in 1991. It was at once soothing and chaotic — the perfect balance.

SONIC MEMORIES

Back in the day my family was friends with four other families. Our parents were best friends with the other parents and the kids, ranging from birth dates of 1978-1986, were much the same. Together, we were a force to be reckoned with. Our epic sleepovers during the late ’80s to mid ’90s is the stuff legends are made of, filled with countless coming-of-age adventures and of course, video games galore. I remember many of those happy Saturday nights fondly, but there was one innocent Saturday night in the summer of ’91 that stood out in particular. We booted up Sonic the Hedgehog and Tommy had the controller. Randomly, he pressed Up, Down, Left, Right, A + START at the title menu. Next thing we knew, a level select cheat menu popped up!

We all jumped up and down in utter disbelief — We all lost our minds the second this happened

You have to understand something. This was 1991. Way before the internet, way before YouTube, way before GameFAQs. You couldn’t just go online to Google cheat codes, oh no. You either found out by reading the cheat section in a gaming magazine or discovering it yourself through sheer dumb luck. For Tommy, it was the latter. Or at least, that’s what he told us. At any rate, cracking the code back then was bigger than big. Unlocking a video game secret is a moment that instantly becomes etched in the annals of time. Tommy from that point on forever adopted a near mythical aura within our gaming group. It’s one of my favorite game memories because it encapsulates the innocence of the early ’90s and also what made our Gaming Crew so damn special and magical.

Uncle Jimmy: the man, the myth, the legend

My other favorite Sonic the Hedgehog memory involves my Uncle Jimmy. He lived with us as we were growing up. My brother and I absolutely adored him. Whether he was weaving spooky ghost stories on a warm summer night, or whether he was playing Contra and other NES classics with us, Uncle Jimmy was an important part of my childhood. He was also the one who bought us a Sega Genesis in 1991 along with Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sadly, by ’91 Uncle Jimmy by and large lost interest in playing video games. However, I’ll never forget coming home from school one day and upon opening my door hearing that classic Sonic the Hedgehog music. I had just started 3rd grade so it was probably September. My brother wasn’t home yet and my mom sure as hell wasn’t playing Sonic… so who was? I turned the corner after taking off my shoes and sure enough, there he was sitting on the couch grinning like a boy who had just seen Santa. I’ll never forget that image. He was on the lava stage, Sonic was teetering on the block and Uncle Jimmy was swaying along with Sonic before he caught me watching him. He gave me a thumbs up and it became a moment frozen in time. It was also the last time I can recall Uncle Jimmy playing a video game. It was Uncle Jimmy’s last hurrah.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Sonic the Hedgehog may not be the best game in the series but it introduced the world to an iconic character who transcended video gaming itself. It laid the foundation for what was to come. It also spawned countless similar platformers starring animals with attitude. Some examples include Awesome Possum, Bubsy and Rocky Rodent. It was a sign of the times, for sure. But no one ever did it better than Sonic. Sorry, Crash! Sonic the Hedgehog is a personal favorite of mine. Some of the sequels may well be better, but similar to Donkey Kong Country, the original will forever hold a special place in my gaming heart. With today seeing the release of Sonic Mania Plus, and with a movie set to launch on November 15, 2019 (with Jim Carrey playing Dr. Robotnik), Sonic is alive and well. He has stood the test of time whereas many other attempted mascots have miserably failed. It’s nice to pause and look back on where it all started. Sonic the Hedgehog, I salute thee. Thanks for all the memories.

Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

Die Hard Arcade (Saturn)

Pub: Sega | Dev: AM1 | March 1997 — ***Pub: Sega | Dev: Sega AM1 | March 1997***

With the boom of the 3D era in 1996, some of our old favorite genres took a backseat to this changing of the guard. Or in some cases, they became an endangered species. One of those was the beat ‘em up genre. From the glorious late ’80s to early-mid ’90s, beat ‘em ups ruled the arcade (and home console) scene. From classics such as Final Fight, Double Dragon, Golden Axe and Streets of Rage just to name a few, they were a staple of many childhoods. But they went by the wayside when 3D gaming ushered in the next generation. Enter Sega’s Die Hard Arcade. It was a 3D interpretation of the classic beat ‘em ups of yore. A Saturn port was released a year later in March of 1997. It’s not the best game in the world but damn if it isn’t wacky fun.

Yippe-Ki-Yay indeed — **YIPPEE-KI-YAY** indeed

30 YEARS OF KICKING TERRORIST ASS

Today (July 15, 2018) marks the 30 year anniversary of Die Hard. Released in theaters on July 15, 1988, Die Hard carved its way into our hearts and memories. The film followed the exploits of one, John McClane. A one man wrecking crew, he attempts to save his separated wife and countless hostages from the vile clutches of some East German terrorists. Taking place over the course of one wild night (Christmas Eve) and one highly memorable location (the fictionally named Nakatomi Plaza), Die Hard was an action movie for the ages. It launched Bruce Willis into superstardom and had one critic call it “a perfect action movie in every detail, the kind of movie that makes your summer memorable.”

The film worked on so many levels. One of its biggest reasons was the pinpoint portrayal of villainous mastermind, Hans Gruber (arguably one of the best movie villains of all time, right up there with the likes of Darth Vader himself). Played by Alan Rickman, Hans Gruber was masterfully memorable for his accent and wicked ways.

Die Hard was filmed at Fox Plaza in Los Angeles. Completed in 1987, Fox Plaza is 35 stories tall (493 feet) and served as the film’s memorable backdrop. Made on a budget of 28 million, Die Hard went on to gross that number five times over for a whopping 128.1 million. There are currently five Die Hard films with a sixth one on the way. Willis will reprise the role of McClane but a younger version is being cast for the earlier portions of the film which will depict McClane as a rookie cop in the ’70s. Happy 30 years, Die Hard!

Hmm.... — A combination of *The Towering Inferno* and *Die Hard*

My girlfriend and I caught Skyscraper in theaters last night. I’m a big Rock fan but this one just didn’t do it for me. Maybe I was subconsciously comparing it too much to Die Hard, but it had none of the charm and memorable characters.

Give me Die Hard instead any day of the week — Give me *Die Hard* instead any day of the week

ARCADE ORIGINS

Die Hard Arcade was conceived by AM1’s Makoto Uchida. Uchida worked on numerous well known Sega titles such as Altered Beast and Golden Axe. A big fan of the original Die Hard film, Uchida had the idea of creating a 3D beat ‘em up with Die Hard as his main inspiration.

And thus ,Die Hard Arcade was born — And thus, *Die Hard Arcade* was born

THE STORY GOES…

Wolf Hongo and his cronies have invaded a skyscraper in Los Angeles. They want the vast riches in the vault and have also kidnapped the president’s daughter. It’s up to you (and your partner) to stop Wolf.

Die Hard Arcade doesn’t take itself seriously as seen here. The president’s daughter manages to elude the bad guys at some point and they cannot find her despite her being right under their nose.

DEEP SCAN CAMEO

Deep Scan is a 1979 arcade game from Sega. Play it to earn extra continues.

“WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL!”

The action starts out hot and heavy on this little rooftop ledge.

Many weapons are in play, including brooms!

There’s also the ever reliable handgun.

The blocky graphics add to the charm of the game. It’s a little rough around the edges, literally, but that’s just all part of the charm.

Quick time events, if handled right, allow you to recover some lost health. If you fail however, you’ll need to clear that area of any bad guys that linger. You have to pay attention to which button they ask you to press, like a Simon Says. It’s pretty neat and was later used in Shenmue on the Dreamcast.

YOU TELL EM, JOHN! — **YOU TELL ‘EM, JOHN!**

Next, make your way to this elevator lobby where you can beat up the bad guys with everything from a missile launcher to a grandfather clock! This game is ridiculous and I can’t help but love how insane it is.

The bum in the green hat actually falls into the blue dumpster during a cutscene prior to McClane arriving on the scene. As stated earlier, Die Hard Arcade doesn’t take itself seriously and has a ton of black humor.

Watch out for the water spray, which can juggle you for damage. It can also hurt the enemies. Pick up the fire axe and hack away. There are also exploding barrels that you can heave their way.

The next scene is unforgettable. One of the bad guys is relieving himself as you approach ready to maim. Stuff like this is what makes video games so great.

Yes, John McClane is suplexing a naked man in a diaper. Some descriptions defy logic.

Anti-tank rifles, clubs, guns and more can be used here. Or just kick their ass the good old fashioned way. Toilet paper rolls roll around. This section is by far my favorite part of the game and I wish it were longer.

Use robot arms lying around to send these bastards back to the trash heap.

“Come on, hand over the club. We all know how this ends.”

This big, beefy, masked mauler is one tough son of a gun. It’s a good thing you can shoot his ass and throw chairs at him, then. I love the whale swimming in the aquarium tank in the background.

McClane goes barefoot, just like in the movie

"Come out to the coast, have a few laughs..." — ***“Come out to the coast, have a few laughs…”***

THE SEQUEL: DYNAMITE COP

A sequel, Dynamite Deka 2 or Dynamite Cop in North America, came out in 1999. It was released in the arcade and on the Sega Dreamcast. It takes place on a boat and similar to the first game, has something of a cult following behind it.

Good ol Wolf Hongo is back — Good ol’ Wolf Hongo is back

Its just as crazy as Die Hard Arcade — It’s just as crazy as *Die Hard Arcade*

Actually, its a lot crazier — Actually, it’s a lot crazier

The stuff nightmares are made of... — The stuff nightmares are made of…

Hard to say if its Dynamite Cop or John Wick 2 — Hard to tell if it’s *Dynamite Cop* or *John Wick 2*

Casinos can ruin your life. This one can kill it

Looks like an online meetup gone horribly wrong — Looks like an online meetup gone *horribly* *wrong*

My butt a few hours after eating Taco Bell

Definitely a fun and worthy sequel to Die Hard Arcade

DYNAMITE DEKA EX: ASIAN DYNAMITE

8 years later, a revised version of the second game was released in arcades in Japan only. It was an odd release to say the least. By then the beat ‘em up genre was even more obscure than it had been in the early 2000s. The game was never ported to home consoles nor did it ever officially leave Japan.

RE-RELEASE ON THE PLAYSTATION 2

In 2006, Dynamite Deka was re-released in Japan for the PlayStation 2 under the Sega Ages 2500 budget line. It featured revamped graphics.

BURNING 2020

Die Hard Arcade was even made into a manga by the name of Burning 2020.

It’s pretty incredible how Japan latches on to random entities and makes a “thing” out of them.

GAMETZ MEMORIES

GameTZ (or Game Trading Zone) was a website where gamers can share their wanted and available list of games. You can browse other users’ listings and message them to strike up trades. I joined on March 21, 2001 — I was still a few months away from graduating high school. It was a crazy fun time… it was like the Wild West of the internet back in those days. People were more willing to trade before the site became a shell of itself in the years to come. My third deal there was trading my copy of Resident Evil (PlayStation 1) and $6 for Virtua Cop 2 and Die Hard Arcade (Saturn). At that time, I had just gotten back into all things Sega Saturn and I vividly remember the day Virtua Cop 2 and Die Hard Arcade arrived in the mail. Later that night, my brother and I binged on both games and it was the best arcade experience at home I had had in the longest time. It sent me on a tailspin of endless Saturn love as I would explore the system’s library further in-depth and uncover the most obscure of obscure games. Great memories!

The trade a smash SUCCESS ;) — The trade a smash SUCCESS

There were truly some funky deals I made on GameTZ. Maybe a story for another day. But I can’t resist sharing a few right now. I once got Street Fighter Collection in exchange for Golden Axe: The Duel and an obscure Wolfgang Krauser collectible that I got in the mail circa 1994 via TAKARA. But perhaps my funniest trade was getting High Velocity (an obscure racing game for the Saturn) for my Predator 2 VHS copy. Ah, GameTZ, how I loved thee once upon a moon.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Die Hard Arcade is a blast. It never takes itself too seriously, it’s violent as hell and it’s stupid fun with a friend by your side. My brother and I loved playing this game and although it’s short at around 20 minutes or so, we kept coming back to it over the years. It’s a true testament to how fun and over the top the game is. We didn’t care that the graphics were a little blocky or that the story wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen a thousand times before: a good beat ‘em up should be fun and Die Hard Arcade most certainly is.

There’s actually something charming about the blocky visuals. It was in the early days of 3D where polygons were mostly blocky. Developers were still finding their way with the new style of graphics; it was a sign of the times. But the best thing about this game is teaming up with a buddy to kick terrorist ass in the most amusing of ways. Whether you’re chucking a grandfather clock at the bad guys or beating them upside the head with a broom, Die Hard Arcade is a memorable foray into the realm of the 3D beat ‘em up. It’s campy, over the top and balls to the walls nutty. It’s not a perfect game, but for what it is, it’s perfect (if that makes sense). Now excuse me while I find my copy of this game and dust off the ol’ Saturn one more time…

Overall: 8.0
Silver Award

The Japanese Saturn version nailed the art cover

Iron Commando (SFC)

What could have been... — What could have been…

I acquired Iron Commando (cartridge only) on October 11, 2006 for just $19.50. Today is lucky Friday the 13th, July 2018. And there’s a copy of this game complete in box going for $1,000 on eBay. Good God almighty. Holy crap am I glad I got back into the Super Nintendo when I did. I remember seeing screenshots of Iron Commando back in 2006 and thinking to myself, “This looks like it could be one of the real unheralded hidden gems of the SNES library.” Back in 2006, very few people were talking about Iron Commando. It was truly obscure then, whereas now it’s much more well known in the SNES community. I wrote a quick review of this game back in late 2006 and did my part to help spread the word. Unfortunately, I wasn’t too impressed with it. 12 years later and I still feel the same way. It’s a great looking game that had tons of potential but the end product just doesn’t execute like I had hoped. Hey, you win some, you lose some. I’m just glad my curiosity was cured in 2006 and for less than $20 too.

WHERE’S MY TOKEN FEMALE?

There are only two characters to pick from: Jack or Chang Li (no relation to Chun-Li). Most beat ‘em ups from the era had at least three choices. Sure, the token female is overly done but there’s a reason for it: to offer variety and more options. So right away we’re off to a less than ideal start but I disregarded my initial disappointment about the lack of a third hero. I just had a good feeling the gameplay was going to make up for it. Boy, was I off. On the bright side, two players can play simultaneously.

THE CITY

The first level opens up with a gnarly quote. It’s cheesy as hell but I loved it. Quotes occasionally appear at the bottom throughout this first level. It lends a B-Movie feel to the game but only appears in this stage, for better or worse. Iron Commando offers a myriad of weapons: 9mm pistols, rifles, machine guns, knives, baseball bats — I’m shocked there wasn’t a chainsaw as well!

That's what I call a double play — That’s what I call a *double play*

Game looks badass, no? It looks like a lost treasure — how did this NOT make North America? But then you sadly realize that even the lowliest enemies take forever to kill, and weapons BARELY do any damage at all! It’s as if the game is unfinished or still in its testing phase. It shouldn’t take me an endless barrage of hits to beat a common thug with a baseball bat. That just renders the baseball bat useless. If the damage ratio was fixed, Iron Commando would be infinitely better.

Don't text and drive, kids... — Don’t text and drive, kids…

This has to be a first in beat ‘em up history: the first boss being a truck.

THE ROAD

Welcome to the first of several auto scrolling stages. Two things are required for this stage to properly enjoy it…

1. Blasting Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

2. Constant maniacal laughter

Trust me on this one, especially #2.

It reminds me of Cadillacs and DInosaurs — It reminds me of Cadillacs and Dinosaurs

THE FOREST

Rejects from Sunset Riders — Rejects from *SUNSET RIDERS*

THE WAREHOUSE

Yeah, killing dogs (even if they’re rabid ones) with a baseball bat would never have cleared Nintendo of America. They would probably turn those canines into mutant rats. Wolfenstein 3D knows.

From the dingy dock to the interior of a creepy flickering warehouse you go. It’s a well done effect that you really didn’t see many SNES games utilizing. Notice the SLIVER of daylight in the bottom left hand corner there. Nice.

Didn’t Big Tom’s mom teach him not to play with knives in the dark? Tsk tsk.

This is a cool boss fight thanks to the light that flickers in and out. It takes me back to all those haunted house attractions I went to as a kid… and ahem, as an adult…

THE TEMPLE

Enemies often crowd you; Iron Commando suffers from cheap mandatory damage syndrome. It’s quite annoying and drags down the experience. It’s pretty cool that sometimes there are four enemies on screen (most SNES beat ‘em ups keep it to three max at a time) but this actually works against Iron Commando since the enemies are really tough and hit you way too much. You almost have to play this game with a friend if you want to enjoy it.

Snakes on a pl -- ground — Snakes on a pl — ground

Unmercifully cheap and annoying, you’ll hate snakes even more than the Medusa Heads in Castlevania. Yes, these slithering serpents are THAT bad.

Yes, those spikes are moving... — Yes, those spikes are moving…

Better kill him before the spiked wall impales you!

If the spiked wall or the boss doesn’t kill you, the spikes on the far right might!

THE BEACH

Bring your sunscreen and knife — Bring your sandals and knife

A fun little DID YOU KNOW fact: these guys were all extras for Michael Jackson’s epic music video BEAT IT.

*Beat it, beat it! No one wants to be defeated!*

THE MINE

Yet another auto scrolling section strikes. It’s definitely a “little” more violent than the minecart ride in Donkey Kong Country…

THE CAMP

Kinda reminds me of Cadillacs and Dinosaurs — Kinda reminds me of *Cadillacs and Dinosaurs*

Between the variety of violent weapons you can use and the cheesy quotes that pop up, Iron Commando might be the closest thing on the SNES to Capcom’s 1993 brawler, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs. It’s a shame though that Iron Commando is nowhere as good and that Capcom never gave us a home port of that title.

His name is even Jack too! — His name is even Jack, too!

THE JEEP

THE ROBOT

You’ll not only have to worry about Mr. Roboto but regular enemies as well. Killing them will allow you to gain access to their weapons. But beware of the robot’s laser beams and giant frisky hands. This fight lasts forever on account of poor damage ratio. That’s a shame because it ruins the whole moment, which starts out really cool but whittles down your excitement as the fight drags on and on and on…

A SECOND LEASE ON LIFE

Iron Commando was released on February 10, 1995, in Japan in limited quantities. It is one of the harder to find Super Famicom games. Apparently, it was also leaked out in the European market. But in mid 2017, a company by the name of Piko Interactive re-released Arcade Zone’s brawler so that it might find a bigger audience.

It actually came packed with Legend — Piko also re-released Legend

Legend was Arcade Zone’s other SNES beat ‘em up, but that game saw an actual SNES release back in April of 1994. So why did Piko re-release a game that actually had an official North American release? Because of the Iron Commando tie-in, the re-release is also (naturally) much cheaper than what original copies of Legend run for today and why the hell not. I’m thankful I already own both games, though. If I didn’t, I might have gone the Piko route. Original copies fetch way too much these days.

It’s always nice to see anything SNES-related getting relaunched in some aspect. Even though I already own all the games I’ve ever wanted, it’s always nice to see my dear old friend in the headlines once again, even if it isn’t front page news.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"Man, meet ups getting shady..." — *“Man, meet ups getting shady…”*

On the surface, Iron Commando looks the part. If you see it in still shots you can’t help but think to yourself, “Man this game looks good!” It also makes one hopeful that it will play just like the glorious beat ‘em ups of yore. Unfortunately, Iron Commando only looks the part. It fails to play the part as well, which is infinitely more important than looking the part. The pros are obvious. The sprites are huge and look great. The overall look and aesthetic of the game pulls you in — it looks just like an arcade brawler from 1993 that you would play with your pals right after scarfing down some piping hot pepperoni pizza. It’s visually very distinctive and the weapon choice is undeniably badass. No other beat ‘em up on the SNES has as many tools of destruction. From Louisville Sluggers to sawed off shotguns, Iron Commando is drowning in an ocean of violent solutions.

But here comes the ever so dreaded BUT part. Even on Easy, the game is insanely (and unnecessarily) difficult. You suffer countless unavoidable hits as enemies surround and flank you. It makes it really difficult to get into any sort of enjoyable flow when bad guys are bouncing you around like a pinball. The damage distribution is another glaring issue. Doing a 3-hit combo barely ticks their health. What gives? This dragged the whole experience down for me as punches and throws seem to have minimal impact. Initially, I thought to myself, “Ah don’t worry. The weapons will surely even up the odds.” Wrong. Weapon damage ratio isn’t much better. This is both ludicrous and inexcusable. If, however, you can look past these warts, Iron Commando can be a decent good time in brief bursts. With unique graphics and a B-Movie feel, the 2 player mode at least offers some thrills and spills. Still, one can’t help but feel this game massively misses the mark. What should have been an awesome beat ‘em up for the ages and a brawler lionized by a legion of fans is instead reduced to being, at best, an infamous case of “it’s not too bad, BUT…”

Iron Commando no relation to Captain Commando — *Iron Commando* no relation to *Captain Commando*

Captain Commando (SNES)

***Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1995 | 16 MEGS***

Capcom ported over two of their 1991 arcade beat ‘em ups, King of Dragons and Knights of the Round, to the Super Nintendo in the spring of 1994. A three year gap was an unusually long time for an arcade game to be ported back in those days, so both conversions were a pleasant surprise. Arcade translations typically came out a year (or two) later. Well, Capcom one upped themselves when they released yet another 1991 arcade brawler, Captain Commando, to the SNES in the late summer of 1995. Coming out a whopping four years later from its original arcade release, Captain Commando was an aging relic at a time where beat ‘em ups had lost a lot of their luster. Because it came out so late in the SNES’ lifespan, it never really got the attention it surely would have gotten had it came out three years prior in 1992. A bit of an ill-timed release, Capcom nevertheless forged ahead. And quite frankly, I’m glad they did. While it is a watered down version of the arcade original (as most 16-bit ports at the time were), Captain Commando is a reminder of the early ’90s when side scrolling brawlers ruled the scene. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start back at the beginning…

CAPCOM’S “MASCOT”

Captain Commando (geddit?) served as sort of a mascot for Capcom. He made his debut in 1985 in the Ghosts ‘N Goblins manual.

Then he began thanking you for buying Capcom’s games. This comes from 1987’s Mega Man instruction manual.

He showed up once again the following year in the sequel, Mega Man 2, thanking you for your purchase and support of Capcom. As you can see, he has altered his look over the years. Gotta keep up with the times, eh?

Captain Commando disappeared from making instruction booklet cameos by the time 1990’s Mega Man 3 rolled around. Then in 1991, it happened. Captain Commando received his very own game. Final Fight was a huge success in 1989 so Capcom was hoping for more of the same magic with Captain Commando. Fast forward to 1995. At last, Capcom converted Captain Commando to the SNES. Sacrifices were made but we’ll get to that later. For me, it was just good to finally see the good Captain and his unusual friends beating up hoodlums in my living room.

THE STORY GOES…

Taking place in the far flung future of 2026 (which is currently only 8 years away), Scumocide and his cronies are looking to rule over Metro City. Fun fact: this is the same Metro City from Capcom’s first beat ‘em up, Final Fight.

THE COMMANDOS

Captain Commando can electrocute bad guys and set them on fire. Yeah, he’s pretty bad ass. Ginzu the Ninja capitalizes on the obsession with ninjas back in the late ’80s and early ’90s.

Captain Commando doesn’t feature your prototypical cast. Look no further than these two. Mack is a mummy-like alien that looks more like one of the goons rather than one of our heroes. Baby Head is a a super genius baby who fights riding on an advanced mech suit that he himself built. Now that says it all, does it not?

MISSION 1: THE CITY

Captain Commando features 9 stages. The first one takes place in the City. I love little details like being able to shatter the store windows.

Enemies come bounding out of the sewers similar to the Foot Soldiers from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time. Too bad you can’t fling the manhole covers back at them, though. On the bright side, unlike Turtles in Time, there’s no danger of falling through the manhole and losing precious life.

Rushing attacks are nice. I like how this first stage scrolls downward a bit. It’s a small touch that I appreciate, especially seeing as how most beat ‘em ups simply go from left to right with zero variation.

Hammer time! If you zoom in or squint, you can see a statue of Haggar there. As stated earlier, this is Metro City in the year 2026. The first boss is Dolg.

Cosplaying as a lost member of the Road Warriors (AKA Legion of Doom), Dolg is more bark than bite. When in a pinch, use Mack’s special spinning attack to clear the room.

MISSION 2: THE MUSEUM

Breaking the glass isn’t necessary — it’s mandatory. You’re then dropped into the bowels of this shady museum where you’ll run into savage neanderthals with names like Samson and Organo. I’m not ashamed to admit that the creepy lifeless family that stares at you in the background slightly gives me the heebie jeebies.

Barrels can be a lifesaver. Save the meat until your health is low. The oddly named boss here, Shtrom Jr., looks like a Radiation Ranger reject from Toxic Crusaders.

MISSION 3: THE NINJA HOUSE

Moving on to the Ninja House, you’re greeted by the heel wearing Mardia, a formidable female fighter who assuredly has never skipped leg day. Don’t forget to watch your back or else those knife throwing thugs will make you pay. A less muscular female attacks with stun rods. I like how this stage transitions from the city to a rural dojo.

Ninjas ruled the day back in the late ’80s and early ’90s. This game has them well represented. Not only can you BE a ninja but you’ll fight lots of ninjas, too. If the action gets too hot, try using the laser gun.

Musashi makes quite the entrance. Two questions: Is this Ronin 47 and where’s Keanu Reeves when you need him? Later on, more ninjas attempt to ambush you.

Crowded? Use your special move to make room. Watch out for their shurikens!

Luckily, this is just a (brilliant) fake out scene. You escape by the skin of your teeth without having to fight them.

However, going inside isn’t much better. Meet Yamato, a kabuki warrior wielding a halberd. He reminds me of Kyoshiro from Samurai Shodown fame, or should I say vice versa.

MISSION 4: CIRCUS CAMP

Ahhhh, the Circus. Where you can obtain fancy art and set folks on fire. Fun for the whole family!

Wookys (gotta love that name) are so fun to beat up. I’ve come to learn that any door brandishing the word DANGER on it is not playing…

Shatter the glass on your way to the boss whose name is “Monster.” Real creative there, Capcom…

Things got a little too hot for Mack so in comes the Cap! I love how he can set enemies on fire as well as electrocute them. Look at Dr. Tea Water getting all bent out of shape there.

MISSION 5: SEA PORT

Bailing so fast, Doc? This surfing bit adds some variety to the gameplay and helps to break up the monotony. Pick up a machine gun and let ‘er rip! Where do you think 1993’s Surf Ninjas got their inspiration from? Ah hell if I know.

Careful trying to jump kick those billboards. In this case, sometimes boards do hit back. But you know what — or who — doesn’t? Poor ol’ Dr. Tea Water that’s who!

MISSION 6: AQUARIUM

Electrocution vs. fire… who’s going to win? Fire, I see.

Wookys come out of the woodwork. Break the blocks there to reveal a gun. Shockingly, it does little damage but what great fun you’ll have shooting it.

Mysteriously named Z, he knows how to reach out and touch somebody. Unleash the Captain Corridor when you’re surrounded. Such a basic yet cool looking move.

Temporary invincibility is granted whenever you lose a life. I love the double and triple vision that this effect produces.

Somebody’s gonna get fired for attacking the wrong side! I love when games allow enemies to hurt their own kind on accident. It somehow makes the game feel a little more realistic. But best of all, it’s simply a hoot to see!

Remember Shtrom Jr.? Now meet his dad and his dad’s right hand man. Use Baby Head’s Knee Rocket to even up the odds.

MISSION 7: UNDERGROUND BASE

Beware of falling barrels. Give it your best Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop impersonation. This is another level that scrolls downward. Nice.

Hitting a baby seems so wrong on every account, and that includes genius babies riding mech suits. But I suppose when a baby hits you in the face with a knee rocket, all bets are off (even though technically you should be dead).

Ginzu’s the name and slicing and dicing is his game!

Surrounded by two towering thugs? Hit them with the Smoke Bomb.

Originally named Blood, he’s been renamed Boots. Lame. Speaking of lame, the big brute blows up his desk to reveal a tunnel hatch where he attempts to escape. Fall down the rabbit hole and make him pay.

Captain Commando to the rescue!

MISSION 8: ENEMY SPACESHIP

Certainly will keep you on your toes. Hasty players may get zapped.

Assassin by day, hooker by night. They can even zap their fellow enemies!

“Thanks for the help, fat boys! Now my turn to give y’all a gift in return.”

Doppel replicates himself into all versions of the Commando team. You must beat all of them to defeat him.

MISSION 9: CALLISTO

Callisto, an enigmatic planet somewhere in the cosmos, is the site of the final battle. The first boss is back to exact revenge. Although it teases a possible boss rush, it thankfully isn’t. Check out the creepy (and probably wealthy) monsters in the background with babes hanging on every which side. It has a Mos Eisley Cantina vibe (from Star Wars fame). I almost expect Harrison Ford to come bounding in any second now as Han Solo!

Defeat Dolg and the hideous picture lifts, revealing Scumocide’s home base.

Heavier than a tank and taller than a mountain, Scumocide is a suitably intimidating final boss. Where’s The Hulk when you need him?

Whether he’s freezing your ass into a block of ice or incinerating your flesh, Scumocide doesn’t mess around.

Everyone has a weakness, even big badass warlords. Grab him, smash in his coconuts and finish him off with a piledriver that would make Haggar proud.

YOU’RE WELCOME, MARVEL

Scumocide defeated and world domination thwarted, Metro City celebrates its freedom and victory. When out of nowhere the good Cap appears on the screen to give the city a brief message. When asked who he is, he responds in dramatic fashion. It would have made Tony Stark himself blush. Hey where do you think Iron Man got its ending from?

ARCADE COMPARISON

As was the norm for arcade ports on the SNES, there’s an obvious drop in visual quality. But surprisingly, the sprites in the SNES port aren’t much smaller if at all. The colors aren’t as vibrant but the core basics are there. At least they are for the most part, anyhow.

One of the biggest differences is the toned down violence. Ginzu could slice enemies in half in the arcade version. Obviously, Nintendo was not going to allow that for the SNES port. It’s a bummer for sure but for me not a deal breaker.

Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain't so — Ninja on ninja violence. Say it ain’t so

Musashi could cut you in half in the arcade version — That’s gonna leave a mark…

"THIS ONE'S FOR CAP!" — ***“THIS ONE’S FOR CAP!”***

"And this one's for me..." — ***“And this one… THIS ONE’S FOR ME!!”***

Sadly missing from the SNES version — Sadly the robot suits are missing from the SNES version

Arguably the biggest omission however is the lack of robots to ride.

A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot. DAMN — A baby riding a mech suit riding a robot!

The other big sacrifice of course was going from 4 players in the arcade to only 2 players in the SNES port. But seeing as how there is no beat ‘em up on the SNES featuring 3 or 4 players co-op (I don’t count Peace Keepers since that was a special mode and doesn’t involve enemies), this shouldn’t shock anyone.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE?

Konami you sneaky bastards. Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) is one of the best SNES action games ever made but damn if that intro doesn’t resemble Captain Commando (1991).

Shtrom Jr. and the Radiation Ranger (from Toxic Crusaders) bear more than a passing resemblance to one another.

Maybe it’s just me but the burning animation in Captain Commando reminds me of the burning scenes in Halloween II (1981). Especially the end where Michael Myers falls down on his knees before flopping face first.

I see you, Boogeyman! And I'll see you on 10.19.18! — I see you, Boogeyman…

And Ill see you again in theatres October 19! — And I’ll see you again in theaters October 19!

LIFE AFTER

Fans of Captain Commando would have to wait until Marvel vs. Capcom (1998) to use the good Captain once again.

Can't wait for the Venom movie (October 5, 2018) — Can’t wait for the *Venom* movie (October 5, 2018)

Ginzu makes a cameo and gives the assist

Ah, the whole gang back. Just like old times

Standing next to Spider Man and Captain America — Standing by Spider Man and Captain America

He would return in Marvel vs. Capcom 2 2000) — He would return in *Marvel vs. Capcom 2* (2000)

His next appearance came in Namco x Capcom (2005). However, he did not return in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (2011) or its follow-up, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. The next time we would see Captain Commando, or his costume anyhow, came in Street Fighter V as a costume unlock for Charlie Nash. The world awaits his next return. Or at least, me and four others, anyhow.

GRAPHIC NOVELS

Creepy.. — That’s not creepy and cult-like at all…

Im not sure whats happening but it cant be good — Not sure what’s happening but it can’t be good

You wouldn’t know it if you’ve only played the censored SNES version but the universe of Captain Commando is quite barbaric. The arcade original was gruesome especially for its time and that violence is reflected in the manga series.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Watered down. Geddit? Sorry — *Water*ed down. Geddit? Sorry

Captain Commando didn’t get much pub in the press because it came out fairly late in the Super Nintendo’s lifespan. That and I think because it was a port of an arcade game four years old, it never received the press it would have had it come out a few years prior. EGM, GameFan and Super Play didn’t review it. As for SNES players, it’s got something of a mixed reputation. Of course it’s been watered down in its arcade to home translation, but some still find it pretty fun. Others can’t overlook all the censorship. Whatever the case may be, copies of this game currently fetch triple figures online. Most SNES games now go for a pretty penny and this is certainly no exception.

If you can look past this, you might still enjoy it

CLOSING THOUGHTS

People can hate on this port all they want, but I love the fact that Capcom gave it to us, period. They didn’t have to. After four long years they had every right to make other games for the SNES — a system that was inching closer and closer to the end of its glorious run. And yet Capcom didn’t. It’s far from perfect and sure, I’m as bummed out as anyone that the gore was removed and especially the robots to ride. But at the end of the day, those are only small components to the game. The question is, does the game itself still play well? And my answer is a semi-resounding YES. I love a well made beat ‘em up and while this isn’t the pinnacle, it’s still a pretty solid example of the genre.

"Spare a dollar, pal?" — *“Spare a dollar, pal?”*

Graphically, it’s far from Capcom’s best. The visuals even appear a bit drab in places. But I feel it fits the game; there’s sort of an appropriate bleakness to future Metro City where Scumocide and his cronies (attempt to) rule. The sound effects unfortunately are not up to par by Capcom standards. Punches and strikes don’t have that satisfying OOMPH to them. Enemies also sound weird and off when dispose of. But the most important aspect of any game is how well it plays and Capcom did a good job there. The game is easy to pick up and it’s enjoyable especially if you don’t obsess over what it’s missing from its arcade original.

You still get all four Commandos and I like this cast of misfits a lot more than I do many others. I mean, you got a mummy alien and a baby genius riding a mech suit that he himself built! It’s bonkers and I love that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. A post-apocalyptic Sci-Fi atmosphere runs rampant throughout. Sometimes the action and enemy clones in these type of games can get rather repetitive but for me that’s not the case here. The enemies are just so wonderfully bizarre, despite the obvious tropes. The stages aren’t overly long nor is the game overly hard. It doesn’t wear out its welcome and is something you can pop in for some quick mindless action. I still play it randomly once every few years and it always leaves me with a smile on my face.

Graphics: 6.5
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 7

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Gotta love any map that has a T-Rex on it