Steve | RVGFanatic

Super Bases Loaded 2 (SNES)

Pub: Jaleco | Dev: Tose | February 1994 | 12 MEGS — ***Pub: Jaleco | Dev: TOSE | February 1994 | 12 MEGS***

Here at RVGFanatic I relish the opportunity to talk about my favorite SNES games. In particular, I love shining the spotlight on those obscure games that flew under the radar. There are many Super Nintendo games that one could classify as such, but here’s one that is criminally overlooked. It’s so far below the radar that it honestly blows my mind. On the other hand, being a sports game it kind of automatically slips through the cracks. 16-bit sports games aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But I’ve always loved a well made one, and Super Bases Loaded 2 certainly is that. I’m going on the record to calling this the second best baseball game on the SNES, only trailing the epochal Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. Obviously, if you don’t care for 16-bit baseball titles, this may not sway you in any way. But for everyone else, read on and more importantly, play the game yourself and see if it doesn’t become a favorite of yours as well.

MIDSUMMER CLASSIC

Last night Major League Baseball put on its 88th annual All-Star Game.

Robinson Cano hit the go ahead home run to put the American League up 2-1 over the National League in 10 innings.

Baseball has a funny way of repeating history in the most bizarre of ways.

July 11, 1967: Tony Perez hits an extra innings homer to lift the NL past the AL in the All-Star Game by the score of 2-1 in Anaheim.

July 11, 2017: Robinson Cano hits an extra innings homer to lift the AL past the NL in the All-Star Game by the score of 2-1 in Miami.

Not a single extra innings home run in-between those 50 years. Not only that but before Tuesday night’s All-Star Game in Miami, baseball put together a ceremony to honor the game’s Latin American history. Eight Latin-born Hall of Famers threw out first pitches to eight Latin-born All-Stars.

In one group? Tony Perez. In the other group? Robinson Cano. Yup, only in baseball. It’s no wonder so many diehard fans have the same mentality: “It’s hard NOT to get romantic about baseball.”

With summer currently in full swing, I decided it was time to start a 162-game season. Normally I play Ken Griffey but this time I decided to pull a different baseball title off my shelf. Over a decade ago I remember playing Super Bases Loaded 2 briefly and thinking that it was pretty enjoyable. I decided to give it a more thorough look and ended up having an absolute blast with it. Let’s see why it’s one of the most underrated sports games on the entire Super Nintendo.

BUT FIRST, A QUICK HISTORY LESSON

Bases Loaded originated on the 8-bit Nintendo. It went on to have three sequels on the NES. The series was immensely popular, selling more than five million copies worldwide.

The series naturally moved to the SNES.

Neat little fact #1: Many people associate Jaleco with the Bases Loaded series but it’s actually TOSE who developed all of these games. Jaleco picked up the publishing rights.

Neat little fact #2: Super Bases Loaded 2 is the only game in the series not originally intended to be part of the series. TOSE developed Super Professional Baseball 2 (the actual sequel to Super Bases Loaded) in August 1992. They then developed a stand alone baseball game, Super 3D Baseball, in October of 1993. Jaleco decided to publish Super 3D Baseball here in the States as Super Bases Loaded 2. Interesting that they skipped over Super Professional Baseball 2. This explains the drastic shift in style and look for Super Bases Loaded 2.

Jaleco made the right call to port Super 3D Baseball rather than Super Professional Baseball 2.

PLAY BALL!

Customize the game as you see fit: it is very player-friendly. The first Super Bases Loaded suffered from not having a battery backed memory. This game fixes that. Although the players aren’t real nor the teams, it’s still fun to play.

Select from 18 teams. I personally enjoy using the L.A. Cyclops. Four teams are customizable but more on that later.

Choose from three different stadiums to play in. I wish each team had its own field but the three here all play differently. This one is the biggest and is good for triples galore. Also has the tallest wall of the three.

Standard park with all your modern amenities.

Classic ball park with the shortest distance to straight away center field.

SET YOUR LINEUP

Set your batting order carefully. Players do vary in terms of ability to hit base hits, home runs, swipe bags, throwing power, etc. Unfortunately, there’s no way to discern this other than trial and error. The stats do help sometimes, but it would have been nice to see a rundown exactly. This is my preferred lineup. The green icons indicate players who feel locked in for that particular game. On the flip side, the orange-yellow icon shows players who aren’t feeling so hot. This doesn’t mean they still can’t perform well, but their odds go down. It’s an interesting system that Extra Innings also had.

Players charge the field. It’s a nice little touch.

Speaking of nice touches, I like how batters receive a quick statistical rundown. It’s a classic, clean look that I really dig. You can check your swing and sometimes this leads to cheap infield singles. Nice!

Jaleco proudly declared on the back of the box that this was the first SNES baseball game to employ the DSP chip. Obviously it’s not really 3D but there’s something charming about the way this game looks. Better yet, you can actually steal bases like a thief in the night.

Power of the DSP chip allows the camera to track the baseball in a “3D fashion.” It’s quite smooth and although it’s not the fastest baseball game around, it works well. Nothing beats seeing the ball land just fair. Cyclops go up 1-0 early.

Simon crushes the baseball to right field for a two run jack! It’s pretty cool being able to track the ball for those massive home run swats.

Defense is a make or break aspect of a baseball game. I’m happy to say the defense in Super Bases Loaded 2 is AWESOME. You almost always feel in control and while the infielders move a bit slowly, diving stops work great and it feels so good to gun out a base runner. Most baseball games render themselves instantly obsolete due to poor defense. This one does not!

Seeing the ball pop off the bat is so satisfying. Is this another home run shot? Nope. Close but no cigar. No matter, it still brings home a run. L.A. Cyclops go up 4-0 on the Boston Kings. Gotta love the fake names. It’s charming in its own way.

Stretching a double into a triple is the best.

Getting beaned, however, not so much. Sometimes the hit batter will even charge the mound and “beat up” the pitcher. No joke. First time I saw that I marked out!

Hitting line drive doubles just inside the foul line is immensely gratifying.

Adding insult to injury is the dribbler that sneaks through the infield for another RBI hit. The camera really lets you see the ball getting pounded into the dirt as it travels just past the defenders. Sweet!

Perhaps nothing is more demoralizing to the opposition than seeing the ball land in-between two defenders (“No Man’s Land”) and roll all the way to the fence as opposing base runners madly dash around the bases. Oh man does it feel good to do this. On the flip side, it’s crushing to be on the receiving end.

Unlike many baseball games from that era, it’s actually possible to score on sacrifice flies. Players’ speed and arm strength in this game feel almost “just right” for the most part. I love scoring on sac flies! It also doesn’t ruin the batter’s batting average, just like in real life. Good stuff.

Flashing off some leather! Like I said, the defense in this game is pretty top-notch. You’ll be stealing away base hits from the opponent like a demon. I also like how the outfield switches seamlessly to a more traditional look.

Another sick home run shot. If I had turned on the slaughter rule, this game would have already been over. But there’s no slaughter rule in the pros and I got to get my stats…

Leaping catches are sick. But oh, the agony of letting one through the cracks.

Aggressive base running from the Kings. Down 11-0, they’ve got nothing to lose.

Nothing beats a diving save over the third base chalk line that leads to gunning out the runner at first. So damn satisfying!

Robbing would be base hits is so smooth and natural in this game.

Seriously, this is an awesome baseball game! So underrated.

WOW… FAIR BY A HAIR! It’s such a helpless feeling for the defender as he chases after the ball.

Baseball, like football, can often times be a game of inches. Being on the offensive side of this is a great feeling. Not so much on the defensive side.

Simon once again terrorizes the Boston Kings, smacking a 2 run double in the gap. The L.A. Cyclops have now scored 3 touchdowns and gone up 21-1. Damn. By the way, you gotta love how the game shows you how each batter performed in his previous at-bats. Especially when a guy has a multi-hit game. Fill up that stat sheet!

Another solid single that barely sneaks past the defenders into right field. It’s so fun tracking your hits since the perspective doesn’t switch until you hit the outfield.

Suicide squeeze up 22-1? I’m definitely getting beaned next time! But check out how you can lower your bunt if you so choose. You can swing or bunt high, normal or low in this game. It all adds to the variety and options.

Gonna be a close play at the plate… SAFE! 26-1, 25 run lead. DAMN.

Computer’s defense is definitely not the smartest. 2 outs and instead of throwing to first base for the sure 3rd out, he throws it to second base. SAFE. The second baseman then flings it to first but he’s a half second late. SAFE. Bases loaded for a crack at a Grand Slam and 30 runs…

Patton steps up to the plate having had a monster day. A single, two doubles and a home run already in the books, could he go 5 for 7 with a Grand Slam to boot? Uh oh… look at that swing! Look at that ball fly… could it be?!

HOLY SHIT Patton did it! The ball stays just fair to give Patton a Grand Slam and a monster game for the ages. The L.A. Cyclops are spanking the Boston Kings 30-1!

Computer, allow me to show you how a real double play is turned! Double plays are the best especially the diving ones. Double plays are a pitcher’s best friend after all. One last out to get…

Another sick diving save at 3rd base. It never gets old.

Sheer, utter whuppage — Holy crap — 30 hits and 30 runs!

FAIR OR FOUL?

Hitting a ball fair or foul is one of those “OHH!” moments for sure. Whether you’re pumping your fist or cursing your lot in life, it certainly elicits that “OHH!” feeling.

Nothing beats seeing a ball land just fair and roll all the way to the wall! Well, if you’re on offense, anyhow.

SAFE OR OUT?

Speaking of the umps, they always get the final say. That won’t stop your 1st base coach however from signaling safe even when the runner is called out. It’s little stuff like this that helps make a game more endearing to me.

BIG OR SMALL?

Players will sometimes “shrink and grow” on the infield. It doesn’t really affect gameplay but it’s a notable quirk. Hey, the DSP chip wasn’t perfect.

DESIGN OR NOT?

Super Bases Loaded 2 allows you to design up to four teams. You can change their player names — this could potentially lead to some juvenile antics but thankfully there’s none of the sort here. [Right -Ed.]. Players are rated in different categories and you can set the number ratings however you wish. You can create the ultimate team of players with 8’s across the board, or the worst team possible with all 1’s. Or you can make them all 4’s, or mix and match. It’s pretty cool.

Speed makes all the difference... — Speed makes all the difference…

SEASON STATS

As mentioned earlier I recently wrapped up a 162-game season. I finished 154-8 for a whopping 95% winning percentage. Won the Omega League by 70+ games! I averaged about 3.75 runs a game and over 2 stolen bases a game.

I freely admit I am a sucker for round numbers. I would hate to end a season with a .299 batting average, 29 home runs, 99 RBIs and 39 stolen bases…

Thankfully Patton was having none of that.

I had three guys in the top 10 for home runs: Baker (36), Patton (32) and Simon (28). Bonner also had 23 so technically he should have been the 4th guy in the top 10.

I had four guys in the top 10 for RBIs: Patton (113), Simon (103), Baker (91) and Bonner (77). I was a little peeved that I couldn’t get 9 more RBIs with Baker to give him an even 100.

I had nine guys in the top 10 for stolen bases! I really love how you can steal bases in this game. Leigh was a beast leading the way with 69 steals.

That Cooper guy on Philly is pretty good!

Damn, Ryan 80 wins and Willis 76 saves!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t take pictures of my final regular season stats. After Game 162, you’re taken to the World Series and the stats reset for post season play. Therefore I couldn’t take pictures but I did write down the stats. I will show the “normal” stats for each L.A. batter below. The caption will reveal the stats I had with that player during the 162-game season.

I clinched the Omega League after 119 games

Boston took me to 7 games. Props to them

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Sadly, there was never much hub-bub about Super Bases Loaded 2. I remember a one page preview in EGM in early 1994 that caught my eye. The graphics for the time were unique and didn’t look like any other 16-bit baseball title. I ended up buying a copy in 2006 after experiencing my SNES resurrection. I remember playing it very briefly and thinking it was pretty fun, but I stored it away. Earlier this summer I finally decided to pick it up and play again. What started as a few games turned into a full 162-game season! Maybe if more people played it there would be some more positive chatter about this highly underrated game.

Sports fans, don't miss this! — Baseball fans, don’t miss this!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I’m so glad I finally sat down to play this game thoroughly. It’s now become one of my favorite Super Nintendo games, especially as far as sports games go. There’s just something about it that feels so right. The graphics aren’t the greatest but it has that classic retro baseball look to it. If I were to close my eyes and think of a 16-bit baseball game, my mind would probably think of a screenshot from a game like Super Bases Loaded 2. And I love that camera system. It’s the only SNES baseball game I know where hitting the ball doesn’t automatically switch the camera. If you smack it into the infield the camera simply zooms back and you never miss a beat on making a defensive stop. Speaking of which, defense for the most part feels natural and smooth. There are a few mishaps here and there, though. Namely, the infielders can feel like they’re slightly in mud every once in a while. But you get used to the speed pretty soon. Since we’re on the topic of speed, this is a big one for baseball games. You know how sometimes runners run too fast or too slow? Or the defenders’ arms are too strong or too weak? This seems to be that rare 16-bit baseball game that almost gets it right. Players aren’t lightning fast nor are they slow as turtles. Arms aren’t super strong yet the ball never bounces to home plate from the outfield 11 freaking times! Best of all, pace of play. You can finish a 9 inning game in about 15 minutes. That makes games fast-paced and fun.

Some may complain about the lack of teams, real names, real players, lack of stadiums and lack of in-game music. I actually don’t mind the fake players in this case. I find the game’s 14 teams (18 if you count the four custom teams) strangely endearing. I like discovering each team’s best and worst players. Besides, there’s plenty of other baseball games on the SNES if I have a hankering to play as Mo Vaughn or Cecil Fielder. Super Bases Loaded 2 is unique. In fact, the bats have a metal sound to them despite clearly being wooden bats. It all adds to this quirky charming alternate baseball universe atmosphere. It’s not Japan. It’s not college. It’s not even AAA. It’s just… Super Bases Loaded 2. There is no in-game music but this is not necessarily a bad thing. I find it strangely calming to play a game with little music for a change. Besides, there were many evenings earlier this summer where I threw this game on for an hour and knocked out four games while listening to a podcast (without having to turn down the TV volume). It worked quite well! There are nice rally themes that play throughout based on the situation but they’re short (and actually not bad while they last). As for the three stadiums, at least they vary in look and size. Not a deal breaker for me.

The bottom line is this game rocks. Seriously. I’ve played more than my share of baseball games. There are a lot of fair to middling baseball games on the SNES. Then there are some truly awful ones. And then you have good ones. This is definitely one of the good ones. It’s a lot of fun to play, it’s fast to play and it just feels like baseball done right. It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better than you may initially think. It’s a shame this game is as overlooked and obscure as it is. My hope is this review sways you to give Super Bases Loaded 2 a crack, especially those of you who don’t mind playing a (well made) 16-bit sports game. And hey, being summer time presently, what better time to give it a try than now?

Graphics: 8
Sound: 7
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 9

Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

Saturday Night Slam Masters (SNES)

**Pub & Dev: Capcom | June 1994 | 24 MEGS**

Capcom could almost do no wrong back in the early-mid ’90s. They were like King Midas; almost anything they touched turned to gold. Their Street Fighter II franchise caught lightning in a bottle. In 1993 Capcom released an arcade wrestling game by the name of Saturday Night Slam Masters. Can we pause here to acknowledge that Saturday Night Slam Masters has to be one of the greatest titles for a video game ever? Who doesn’t love Saturday nights, and who doesn’t want to take control of a Slam Master? The title completely captures the carny and zany nature of the professional wrestling underworld. I loved playing the arcade game back in the day and was psyched when a Super Nintendo port was announced. Boosting 10 crazy comic book-like grapplers, the best thing about Slam Masters was its frenetic 4 player tag team bedlam mode. Yup, Saturday nights at home with the SNES and three friends was never going to be the same again.

30 YEARS BEING A WRASSLIN’ FAN

On an innocent Saturday night in early October of 1987, my uncle introduced me and my brother to the wacky world of professional wrestling. That night we saw Saturday Night’s Main Event. In particular, I’ll never forget that moment when Intercontinental Champion Honky Tonk Man smashed Macho Man Randy Savage over the head with his guitar. Coincidentally, one of the men holding Savage hostage there, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, was recently featured here on RVGFanatic.

The Handshake Heard 'Round The World — The Handshake Heard ‘Round The World

Hulk Hogan made the save and the two joined forces to create The Mega Powers. And on that night I became cemented as a wrestling fan for life. My fandom has been going strong nearly 30 years now, and I’ll always be a sucker for a good wrestling product. Speaking of which…

I’ll never forget the summer of 1994. It was such an epic summer that I wrote all about it here: The Summer of Imports. Saturday Night Slam Masters played a big role in that memorable summer over 20 years ago.

Who didn't want to use Haggar in a wrestling game? — Who didn’t want to use Haggar in a wrestling game?

Known as Muscle Bomber: The Body Explosion in Japan, Slam Masters isn’t the most technically proficient wrestling game around but what it lacks in proper technique it more than makes up for with tons of character, charm and chaos.

SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING

Accompanied by a rockin’ guitar riff, the intro is short and sweet. It also sets the mood perfectly for the pandemonium to come.

THE SLAM MASTERS

Jumbo and Scorp are considered “boss characters” and are only selectable in the tag team mode. Scorp is an absolute badass. I like all of them but as a kid I took an immediate liking to Titanic Tim. He was my man! My brother gravitated to El Stringray, the Rey Mysterio Jr. wannabe. Of course, you can’t go wrong with Haggar, either. But Titanic Tim was my favorite. As a kid I had two phrases I would always shout whenever I hit someone with Tim’s big boot or his running shoulder tackle. Hey, I was 10 . It went like such…

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" — ***“GET OUT OF THE WAY!”***

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Weapons are occasionally strewn about outside the ring in the one on one mode. Nothing satisfies like cracking someone’s cranium with a sturdy table.

Gunloc is rumored to be the brother of Guile. One can definitely see the similarities…

Turnabout is fair play! Gunloc finishes off the remains of the table and quite possibly Biff as well.

Nothing gets a better laugh though than smashing someone over the head with a beer bottle!

Perhaps you want something more traditional, though. In that case grab a chair which takes two hits to completely destroy. Love the way Haggar sells!

SINGLES WARFARE

Modern day David vs. Goliath — not looking good for the little guy at the moment…

Titanic Tim LAUNCHES El Stingray high into the stratosphere. Love his reaction there. Reminds me of Randy Orton cringing when he threw Samir Singh too hard…

TAG TEAM WARFARE

Stingray’s Atomic Diver looks painful as hell, to BOTH guys.

Haggar is pissed off and delivers his classic spinning clothesline. Stingray’s Jalapeno Comet is probably the coolest looking special move in the game.

Alexander the Grater’s Tornado Toss is arguably the most gruesome and wince-inducing move. He tosses you high into the air, even going above the screen, before you come crashing down to the hard canvas with no give. OUCH!

HAGGAR’S REVENGE

Haggar is pissed off at Stingray for the lack of help and takes out the little guy.

STINGRAY’S REVENGE

Secret to beating a big bully? Recruit an even bigger one! Besides, Titanic Tim feels guilty for launching Stingray into the far reaches of outer space that one time, and is paying back the favor he owes to El Stingray. Not to mention, he’s kind of taken a liking to the little guy, if truth be told.

Capcom absolutely NAILED the entrances. It completely captures the over the top nature of the wrestling business.

Titanic Tim starts out by targeting Haggar, choking the life out of him. Later on, Jumbo uses his girth to put the big squeeze on the big man.

Massive suplex! Thing of beauty.

Haggar submits to Tim’s Torture Rack. At the end you get a classic Capcom Street Fighter-esque post fight quote. By the way, my favorite thing about the tag team bedlam mode is that it’s elimination style. Meaning you can enjoy a nice little 2-on-1 handicap match after defeating one of your opponents. It’s a total blast with 4 players!

Taking a page out of Bret Hart’s playbook, Tim delivers a picture perfect Reverse Russian Legsweep. I love catching them from behind while they’re dealing with my tag partner. These sneak attacks are the best. Also love the impact of the mat. It sounds painful as hell.

Getting a double 3-count pin in stereo is almost the coolest thing in this game. Check out how Grater there turns a shade of red after being defeated!

Speaking of coolest, nothing beats this. Seeing your tag partner thwart the opponent’s attempt to save their partner in the nick of time is a fist pumping moment for sure! Close saves (both ways) create the most compelling moments in this game by far.

Haggar is back for revenge and this time he has a new partner: Scorp. Judging by that second pic there, it’s a good call…

Haggar’s Spinning Piledriver is absolutely devastating.

Scorp’s Spiral Slam is just as lethal.

Destruction personified!

Defeat all comers and Capcom lets you do it again, Ghosts ‘N Goblins style.

Falling face first at the game over screen always made me chuckle.

Quotes from each wrestler appear pre and post match. It was a sign of the times.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Gorgeous artwork from AngusBurgers! — Gorgeous artwork from artist *AngusBurgers*

Saturday Night Slam Masters fared well with the critics as an arcade port. EGM gave it ratings of 7, 7, 7 and 8. Super Play rated it 78%. It’s obvious it’s best when played with 4. It takes a huge hit when playing solo, moreso than other 4 player games I feel. EGM said it best when one of their reviewers cited, “This is awesome for parties and gatherings, but not one I’d want to sit down and play all day.” I had a blast with this game back in the summer of 1994. My brother, our friends and I would all rotate having a go. It’s aged well but I’m reminded of how limited this game is, having played it recently. Yeah, it is an arcade port but you wish Capcom threw in some extra modes. It’s a straight port of an arcade game that didn’t have many bells and whistles. What you see is what you get. This worked fine with Street Fighter II, but Saturday Night Slam Masters is the CLASSIC arcade game. By that I mean it’s a lot of fun to play for a short go each time you see it in the arcade hall, but its flaws are exposed with longer sessions.

"A little help here?" — *“A little help here?”*

Super Play perhaps put it best:

“It’s totally atmospheric and, along with the over-the-top glitziness of each of the 10 fighters, it makes for an entertaining game to watch, if never totally satisfying to play. The problem is it’s very much an arcade experience. It’s fine to stick a couple of quid in for a laugh when you happen to come across it at the Trocadéro, for example, but it doesn’t have the gameplay or depth backing it. It’s just a matter of exchanging punches and kicks for a while, moving in for a spot of grappling, and hoping you get in there first. Sure, it may take a while to learn the special moves, and when to best apply them, but there aren’t many, and that’s as far as any strategy goes.”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING — ***SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING***

Don’t get me wrong, for all the flaws that Saturday Night Slam Masters has, I still like the game a whole bloody lot. You can’t talk about the best 4 player SNES games without mentioning this one. And if you take it for what it strictly is, you should be satisfied. It’s a crazy arcade wrestling game that places more emphasis on an arcade style than it does a pure technical wrestling style. You may come away feeling a bit cheated if you’re looking for anything beyond that. Computer AI can be very cheap, pulling off miracle comebacks and knowing your next move before you even attempt it. But it all goes back to the true nature of this game: it’s meant to be experienced playing alongside 3 pals.

"I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" — *“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!”*

Yes, it’s a bit shallow but as far as straight arcade ports go Capcom did a great job. Extras would have been appreciated but the graphics and sound are on par with what you’d expect from Capcom in this era. In other words, they do a good job bringing home an arcade-like quality experience. It’s by no means a deep game, so I knocked it down a point or two. It’s just a matter of hanging in there and hoping for the best, as Super Play perfectly encapsulated a bit earlier.

Get 'im, T-Hawk! Er, Titanic Tim — Get him, T. Hawk! Er, Titanic Tim

Overall, it’s a great arcade translation but it was best played in spurts with friends in the arcade, and the same applies here.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7
Longevity: 7

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award

Bret “The Hitman” Hart

Earlier this week, on July 2nd to be precise, Bret “The Hitman” Hart turned the big 6-0. That’s right. If you grew up as a wrestling fan of the late ’80s/early ’90s then you know Bret Hart was one of the key figures of the industry and remains highly regarded as one of the best wrestlers to ever lace a pair of boots. Born on July 2, 1957, Bret came from the Hart family. One of the most famous families in pro wrestling history, Bret developed his craft at a young age in the infamous Hart Dungeon where his father, Stu Hart, and his 87 brothers applied various stretch holds on the poor lad. My uncle Jimmy introduced me to wrestling in 1987 and I’ve been a fan ever since. I fell in love with the action and larger than life characters. I became a Bret Hart fan early on. It was evident that he was born to be a wrestler. They didn’t call him the EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION for nothing!

Who could forget the Anvil's trademark laughter? — Who could forget the Anvil’s trademark laughter?

Bret began his WWF career tagging with his brother-in-law, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Together they formed one of the most memorable and successful tag teams in the World Wrestling Federation. Bret’s impeccable wrestling acumen was sharply complemented by Jim’s sheer brute force. Managed by “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, the Hart Foundation ruled the tag scene and soon became fan favorites.

Tag team wrestling in the '80s was so good — Tag team wrestling in the ’80s was so good

My brother and I loved Demolition, we loved the Rockers… but DAMN DID WE LOVE the Hart Foundation. I remember the highs and I remember the lows. They won the tag titles twice and we cheered. However, their shocking defeat to the Nasty Boys at Wrestlemania VII left a very sour taste in my mouth. I remember Jimmy Hart, who was then managing the Nasty Boys, gave his megaphone to Knobbs or Saggs, and they bloody took off Anvil’s head to win the tag titles. It was a dark day for Hart Foundation fans everywhere. The team split up after that when the WWF realized Bret’s potential as a major singles star. He went on to win the WWF Championship five times, before leaving the company after the infamous 1997 Survivor Series screwjob in Montreal.

In the wrestling business there’s a famous saying… NEVER SAY NEVER. After nearly 10 years of not being a part of the WWE in any fashion, Bret Hart was announced to headline the 2006 WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. It was a huge moment in the industry and for all Bret Hart fans. This was his big homecoming. ONE NIGHT ONLY. April 1, 2006. It was one of my favorite Hall of Fame speeches ever. Tonight we relive the memories of that unforgettable evening.

BRET HART’S INDUCTION VIDEO INTRO

Alright, and now to induct Bret “The Hitman” Hart… there are some people who need no introduction. But if you don’t give this next guy one, he’ll open up a can of whup ass on y’all and I don’t want that to happen here tonight. I’d like to say a lot of nice things about this guy but… I rather be honest. He’s… [WHAT! -Audience] he is NOT a nice man [WHAT!]. As a matter of fact, [WHAT!] he is the meanest [WHAT!], he is the toughest [WHAT!] son of a bitch in the WWE… STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!

*CROWD POPS*

But not everyone's glad to see the Rattlesnake... — But not everyone’s glad to see the Rattlesnake…

Austin walks right past Hogan, no selling it all

**AUSTIN-HOGAN! *CLAP CLAP* AUSTIN-HOGAN!**

You know, I was going through my bag in the back and…

Call it a hunch but I think the crowd wants a Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan dream match . The great Mean Gene Okerlund has seen and heard it all in this great business, but even he is taken aback by this rabid fan response. The crowd is absolutely LIT here in Chicago tonight.

You know it’s funny… I was uh, I was going through my bag in the back and I couldn’t find something. I lost something. I went in the back looking through my bag and uh, I found a can of WHUP ASS and it had Hulk Hogan’s name on it.

*CROWD POPS LIKE CRAZY*

It’s a good night to be up here today with all these legends and uh, it’s fun for me. And it’s a great honor and I know everybody’s been saying that but I really mean it, because I ain’t the most humble sumbitch in the world.

*Crowd chuckles*

You got the Blackjacks over here. The black trunks, the black boots, the black vests, bad attitude. If I coulda ridden down the road with you guys, it woulda been great.

I never told Sherri this but I’ve always been in love with her. I just thought she was sexy, gorgeous and just a tremendous work — I just loved everything she did.

You were talking about the blondes a little bit earlier in the evening — I just love everything you did.

A lot of people don’t know this but I traveled up and down the road with Tony Atlas. And uh, where’s that cheapskate Mick Foley, because he traveled with us.

*Crowd laughs*

And everybody knows that Tony was a great bodybuilder, and he’s a great powerlifter, and a great wrestler too, but he’s also a great beer drinker.

*Crowd chuckles*

And we’d ride up and down the road… he was good but he couldn’t drink as much as Stone Cold could, I’ll tell you that much right now. But we’d drink beer until the late hours of the night, and then me and Tony would go to the gym. I’d be working chest, bench pressing about 225 for about four, five reps, and Tony would be over there bouncing 500 off his chest about 10, 15 times. IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF!

*Crowd laughs*

So it’s good to be here tonight. And uh, you know, I’m here to talk about a guy that I’ve always respected before I even knew him. And you know, I’ve always had a deep respect for the great workers in the business, the great technicians, and the great storytellers. And uh, Bret “The Hitman” Hart never was the biggest guy in the business. And Bret never was the flashiest guy in the business. But I always had an unbelievable chemistry in the ring with him. I knew that any time the bell rang there was a trust and there was a level of respect in there between us and just, good things always seem to happen. And I remember one time I was laying at the house on my couch and I was watching Monday Night Raw. Of all things I had a busted knee. And I’m listening to the announcing — this was back when Vince McMahon used to do the announcing — and it was Wrestlemania 13 right here in Chicago at the Rosemont. My favorite building to wrestle in… it’s just a magic environment. And I hear Vince go, “Yeah, and in a submission match it’ll be Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin!” And that was news to me, because I was watching the broadcast and I didn’t know a DAMN thing about it.

*Crowd chuckles*

And it got me kinda hot because I’m not a submission wrestler. You probably know that from watching me; I only got about three offensive moves.

*Crowd laughs*

Triple H and his wife Stephanie McMahon laughing

So when I showed up to Chicago that night, I remember I needed to get in shape for the match, but I had a busted knee. So I stopped drinking for about 17 days. And uh, Lanza commented on how good I looked. And I remember going to the match that night and I was thinking it was at a point in my career where I needed something big to happen. The King of the Ring had already happened, I cut a promo which kind of put me on the map, and this was kind of put up or shut up time. It was a semi-main event that night, a submission style match and I just knew that we were gonna go out there in my favorite town to work and my favorite building and completely stink the joint out. What we did was go out there and, things happened, and it was the greatest match of my career.

*Crowd claps respectfully*

16 time champion "Nature Boy" Ric Flair shows love — 16 time champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair shows love

I’ve had a lot of great matches after that but Jack Lanza came up to me and he said, “You’ll probably never have a match like that again.” And he kinda was right, we never really achieved anything like that again. But any time I stepped into the ring with Bret, whether it was overseas or here in the States somewhere, I’ve wrestled him a million times, and Bret was a guy that always showed up. He didn’t miss his shot, now he always showed up LATE, but he never missed his shot. So I’m proud to induct him into the Hall of Fame tonight. He’s a guy that’s always called himself the excellence of execution. He lives that, he breathes that, and he truly believes it in his heart. And that’s why he was so good. He’s the best there is, he’s the best there was, he’s the best there ever will be, he’s Bret “The Hitman” Hart!

Wrestlers and fans alike stand up to cheer on Bret

It was euphoric and cathartic. Nearly 10 years!

Thank you! I just wanna say um… it’s an honor to be here and it’s an honor to be up here with so many uh great legends like everybody said. And uh… you know, nobody’s more surprised and more amazed to be here than I am. But uh, this is a big night for me.

And despite what anyone thinks, many years ago when I had my fallout with Vince McMahon at the 1997 Survivor Series and all that, I made a promise to myself THAT DAY, that if they ever asked me to do the Hall of Fame I would be here.

I wanna say that while I’ll never forget what the WWE took away from me, I also wanna say that I’ll never forget all the great things that they gave to me. And I’ve had a great great life and I’ve had a great career here. And first of all I want to thank the McMahons, especially Vince, for giving me the chance to work on his canvas.

*Fans jeer at the mention of Vince*

The McMahons, minus Vince (backstage), look on

Every night that I went out years ago when I first started, I uh, I was just honored to be in the ring and wrestle for the WWE.

You know when I think back years and years ago, when I was about uh, well three years old I think, I was watching my first wrestling matches on TV and I was watching Killer Kowalski. And uh, I think in my family everybody just became ingrained from the very start to love this business and love the circus life. My family growing up, I mean, everybody loved wrestling and we always been grateful for all the funny adventures and stories that we’ve had through this great business.

I want everyone to know that I came here to celebrate my career, not to mourn over it. And uh, I had a fortune cookie today that said uh, “You’re welcomed at any gathering,” on my Chinese fortune cookie today.

*Crowd cheers*

I want to go back to when I was a little kid. I remember going to the wrestling matches for the very first time, and I’d be riding in the car down to the wrestling matches with my brothers, and right from the very start I can remember I’d be riding in the car and my dad would pull up to the hotel and uh, I remember when I was real young they picked up the midgets.

*Crowd chuckles*

And uh, I remember I thought “Cool, finally I got some wrestlers that I can play around with,” you know. And it was uh, I remember Sky Low Low and Little Beaver and that whole bunch, they just all get in the backseat.

My dad had a big stretch limo with four different rows of seats, just enough for all us Hart kids and uh, he let the midgets climb in there and they get in the back and I can remember I thought, “Great.” And I remember trying to headlock them and stuff like that.

And if you ever uh, if you knew midget wrestlers you know that you don’t want to be headlocking them — they don’t appreciate that too much.

*Crowd laughs*

But anyway, wrestling’s always been part of my life. I can remember my first experiences with wrestling. I was about uh, 10, 12 years old and I’d go down to the basement, and my dad had all these huge wrestlers. And I remember you were kind of safe when you were about that age — 12 you’re OK you know — you could sit down there and as long as you didn’t say anything. And it was pretty interesting to watch my dad put these guys into all these holds and they’d be screaming for their lives down there. I think my mom sometimes, I don’t know what she thought, I think she sometimes phoned the police. She was worried someone’s getting killed down there.

*Crowd chuckles*

My dad was an amazing character and I want to say first that… I owe everything I am today to my dad. And uh, the man I always longed to be was the one I first thought my father was. He was a one of a kind guy in this business. And I can remember when I first got in, I always introduced myself around the dressing room as Bret Hart, Stu Hart’s kid, and this was always my passage to safety. Everybody I know who really understood him and got to know him loved him. He was everything that was good about the wrestling business. I know he’d be really proud of me standing here today.

*Crowd applauds respectfully*

I uh… got all kinds of funny stories and memories. I’ll try to not go too long here. It would only be right for me to tell a few funny stories about my brother, Owen.

*Crowd cheers*

My brother Owen was uh… he was a hilarious guy.

*Crowd chants O-WEN! O-WEN! O-WEN!*

I remember being on the road getting a call from somebody telling me that someone from delivery service was giving me a free pizza. I think I already eaten… but they would sell me on it. It was free and bringing it up and it’s on the house. And I was like OK. And the next thing you know I would be arguing with the guy about how he wanted me to pick my toppings — what kind of toppings I wanted. And it was like OK. So I started going through the toppings and then he starts pushing more toppings on you. Then finally he tells you after all that he’s going to charge you for the toppings. And you go through this charade… anyway, that was Owen.

*Crowd laughs and cheers*

One time we were checking into a hotel in Dayton, Ohio. All the wrestlers were walking in and uh, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan [HOOOOO! -Crowd] was there with his wife, and he went to his room.

We were all standing around the front desk signing in. Duggan phoned down and asked the guy at the front desk, “Where’s the gym?” The guy puts his hand over the phone and he goes, “Anyone know where the gym is?”

And Owen goes, you know, “Give it to me.” So he hands the phone over to Owen and Owen gets on the phone and of course, Jim, Hacksaw just thinks it’s somebody at the front desk. Anyway, Owen tells Hacksaw, “Why don’t you look it up yourself, YOU LAZY BASTARD.”

Mark Henry laughs so hard he has to wipe away a tear — Mark Henry laughs so hard *he has to wipe away a tear*

So Hacksaw got all worked up and Owen tells him, “If you wanna do something about it, come down here and I’ll kick your ass.”

Hacksaw couldn’t believe it. So then Hacksaw, you know, he’s getting dressed to come down to the lobby to straighten out this front desk guy. And I remember Owen just hands the phone back to him and the guy goes, “Don’t do this to me!“

Big laughs from Big Show, Sarge and Dusty Rhodes

Owen goes, “Don’t worry, just tell him it’s me… Jim Powers.”

*Crowd erupts in laughter*

Batista, Lashley and Tatanka cracking up — Batista, Bobby Lashley and Tatanka cracking up

Hacksaw comes down to the lobby and the guy goes, “Hey, it wasn’t me! It was Jim Powers.”

*Crowd erupts again*

Most definitely NOT Owen Hart — Most definitely ***NOT*** Owen Hart

I remember that night in the dressing room, Hacksaw came up to Jim Powers and uh… well, that was funny anyway.

*Crowd laughs*

If you knew Owen, I’m sure he pulled a joke on you somewhere.

The crowd cheers for Owen and a great story shared

I remember in the beginning of my career I had a chance to uh… I got called and they said they needed me to take the Dynamite Kid’s place. He was going to wrestle in Madison Square Garden against the great Tatsumi Fujinami from Japan. Anyway, Dynamite Kid couldn’t get across the border and I was called up at the last minute.

I remember I got to the building — this was such a big thing for me… I was only about 20, 21 — and I remember I was walking through the lobby getting ready for that big walk over to Madison Square Garden and I kept thinking to myself, “One day I get to tell my kids that I wrestled in Madison Square Garden.”

*Crowd claps respectfully*

Anyway, they met me, the Japanese guys that brought me in for this. They stopped me in the lobby and they said, “We have to take you off the card. You don’t have a big enough name to wrestle in Madison Square Garden.” And I remember that in the beginning of my career…

When I first got to the WWE in 1984, I was fortunate and lucky enough to be a part of this new surge in wrestling thanks to Hulk Hogan, Vince and the whole team of wrestlers that took wrestling to a whole new level.

*Crowd claps*

Back in those days wrestling was pretty tough. I worked 304 days my first year and I think I worked pretty much close to that for the next six years that I was in the WWE. Double shots. It was a tough life. But I want to say I would never have made it through those years if it hadn’t been for my tag team partner, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

*Crowd pops for The Anvil*

Good ol Jim Neidhart — Good ol’ Jim Neidhart

Jim Neidhart was you know, he was just the greatest character. I got a little pug over in Italy right now that I keep just because I think he reminds me of Jim. He’s got those sad puppy dog eyes you know, and he always wants you to have one more round.

I got so many funny memories and stories of Jim Neidhart, but I’ll just tell one. I remember Owen had just flown in; I think he was getting a new start with WWE back in 1991, maybe. We just did one night in Texas — I worked with a guy named Skinner. Anyway, all the wrestlers were kind of celebrating and I took Owen to a strip bar in San Antonio…

*Some fans scream YEEEEAAAAH!!*

Owen wasn’t really prone to those kind of places but I managed to talk him into it because it was a big night for him. He was starting back in WWE and he’d flown in from Germany. And it was a crazy night, that night in Texas, I’ll tell you that much. We were all drinking in the bar and everyone’s kind of talking and stuff…

Next thing you know I see Vince walking in... — **Next thing you know I see Vince coming in…**

*Crowd laughs*

And Vince had a few soda pops somewhere else. He was primed and ready that night. I bet Sergeant Slaughter remembers this — he was driving, thank God.

*Crowd laughs*

But anyway, I remember just kind of hanging out in the bar with Owen. And Hulk, you know, he could always stir up shit, you know.

*Crowd laughs*

Hulk Hogan looking GUILTY AS HELL — Hulk Hogan looking on ***GUILTY AS ALL HELL***

Animal from Legion of Doom reminisces along

He was stirring up the Legion of Doom. Hulk got them all worked up. And I remember Hawk and Animal were talking about how they were going to do their finisher on Vince.

*Crowd erupts in laughter*

And I remember watching it and I’m thinking, “No way. They’re not gonna do it. Nobody would do their finisher on Vince.”

And um, next thing I know I see Hawk saying he’s not kidding and Animal’s kind of going along with it. Quite a few of the wrestlers were starting to mark out over this, and see if it’s gonna actually happen.

*Crowd laughs*

Anyway, next I see Animal come up behind Vince. And like I said, Vince was already in a pretty good state of mind. So Animal came up from behind and he hoisted Vince up. I look and there’s Hawk right there on the little table with the poles.

*Crowd laughs*

The Road Warriors, AKA Legion of Doom — Hawk and Animal (Road Warriors AKA Legion of Doom)

And uh, I’m waiting. I’m watching. I’m thinking, “Here it is… they’re gonna take Vince’s head off.”

*Crowd laughs*

Hawk came off the table with a little powder puff clothesline and I remember Hulk, Beefcake and everybody kind of caught Vince and set him down. I think they even gave a little golf clap.

*Crowd laughs*

And I remember I had a beer in my hand. I think I had a shot of Jack Daniels. And I can see Jim pulling on his beard. He goes…

"HART FOUNDATION WOULD HAVE DONE IT!" — ***“HART FOUNDATION WOULD HAVE DONE IT!”***

*Crowd laughs and cheers loudly*

I remember thinking, “I better get the hell out of here.” I couldn’t set my drinks down fast enough. I told Owen, “Listen, I gotta get out of here RIGHT NOW.” Next thing you know, Jim’s got Vince up in the bear hug position…

*Crowd laughs*

I remember Hulk looking at me like, “So… what’s gonna happen here?”

*Crowd chuckles*

The Hulkster cracks a grin while reminiscing along

Was Bret really going to take the boss' head off? — Would Bret really do it?

Anyway, I took Vince's head off — **Anyway… I TOOK VINCE’S HEAD OFF**

*Crowd erupts*

Ric Flair dies laughing. Thankfully, not literally

Jim Neidhart… I remember so many funny stories about him. I can’t resist telling this one. Whenever we stayed at a hotel we would always forget to put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob. We’d be lying there in bed and I can hear the maid fumbling with the key to come into the room. I’d be sound asleep and I remember just sort of hearing Jim pull the whole blanket off, and just be lying there like a big old starfish.

Drax the Destroyer and his lady enjoy a good chuckle — *Drax the Destroyer* and his lady enjoy a good chuckle

And then you see the maid come in. I mean, we went through this quite a few times. It was standard Hart Foundation. You hear them scream and run out of the room as fast as they could. Over a period of time I think we could do it in stereo, you know. Anyway, I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

*Laughter and applause*

There’s a lot of wrestlers I wanna take the time to thank. In my early days, I’ll never forget Cowboy Bob Orton, Roddy Piper, Don Muraco, Mr. Fuji, Iron Sheik and so many others that uh, every night, they were my family. And uh, I love those guys. I had some uh… *Fan interjects, “ONE MORE MATCH!“*

Huh, we'll see — Huh, we’ll see… *Crowd pops*

“ONE MORE MATCH!
ONE MORE MATCH!
ONE MORE MATCH!”

I wish. I wish I could have one more match. I wanna take the time to uh, think about and remember some of my great matches and great experiences I had. I’ll never forget the matches I had with Mr. Perfect, Curt Hennig.

*MASSIVE POP*

He was uh, he was just the greatest guy to work with every night. I never looked at working with him as work. It was a night off. He was just the greatest guy to work with every night. He was just so much fun and he was so safe and so careful. And I miss him.

I remember wrestling Curt Hennig in Anchorage, Alaska. It was sold out and I remember it was a big crowd. Andre was working in those days with Warrior, and they were going about 25 seconds every night.

*Crowd laughs*

Not exactly workhorses... — Not exactly workhorses, these two…

Austin laughs along with the sold out crowd

So they needed some extra time, you know, for someone to do the work out there. I was working with Curt that night, and I don’t think I ever had a bad match with him, but I remember that night we uh, we just had such a beautiful match that I’ll never forget it.

*Respectful applause*

Legendary IC title bout at Summer Slam 1991 — Bret Hart’s epic coming out party (SummerSlam 1991)

Their King of the Ring 1993 match was great, too — King of the Ring 1993 match was great, too

Another guy I wanna tell you a story about is Earthquake.

*Crowd cheers*

Earthquake, you’re in my prayers.

Wherever you are out there I hope you’re doing OK.

*Crowd applauds*

He sadly passed two months after Bret's speech — Sadly, he died two months after Bret’s speech

I remember we were flying from Columbus up to Seattle or something, and we had about a six in the morning flight. I remember we got delayed for hours and everyone was sleeping on the floor near the gate. It took hours and hours. And everyone was really tired and really cranky. We finally got off and we’re in the air on our way to Seattle. Poor Earthquake, he was in the very last seat in the airplane. You know, he was a big guy so he was against the wall sleeping with his head down. I remember going to the back of the plane to use the bathroom, but someone was already in there. And uh, Jimmy Hart was across from Earthquake, and I was talking to Jimmy.

Anyway, this little black kid came up and he was about four or five years old. He wanted my autograph and I remember I signed it for him, and then he asked Jimmy to sign it. And then he looked over at Earthquake and he goes, “Should I wake this guy up?”

*Crowd laughs*

Jimmy Hart goes, “Yeah go ahead.” I say, “Yeah, he’s a pussycat.” But Earthquake had a long day, you know, he had about enough. I remember this kid pulling on his coat like “Hey hey!”

And I remember Earthquake just looked up, and his eyes were like red holes. He yelled at the little kid and told him to GET OUT. So then he put his head back down…

I remember the little kid looked around like this... — I remember the little kid looked around like this…

… and he just leaned back and I couldn’t believe it, he just slapped Earthquake as hard as he could right on the forehead.

*Laughter and gasps ensue*

And I remember Earthquake, good thing he had a seat belt on, he tried to explode out of that seat. And I remember Jimmy Hart was trying to find a place to hide and I remember I kept praying whoever’s in the bathroom better come out, you know.

*Crowd laughs*

Jimmy Hart recollects that memory as well

Anyway, as you can tell I had a life filled with all kinds of characters, and great stories and memories… and uh…

*Fan shouts, THANK YOU BRET!*

You’re welcome.

*Applause*

I wanna say that everything I did and accomplished in wrestling I did it for my kids. Everyday, you know, you get up and it’s not the easiest thing in the world to go out there all the time and entertain everyone else’s kids. It seemed like birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, you’re just always entertaining somebody else’s kids, and you’re always packing your bags. Your kids pay the ultimate sacrifice. I just want them to know that everything I did, I did it for them.

*Respectful applause*

Bret's kids (and Nattie Neidhart) look on — Bret’s kids (and Nattie Neidhart) look on

I remember a few months before “THE SCREWJOB” …

*Fans boo vehemently*

I uh, I was trying to put my youngest son, Blade, to bed. It was in the summer time. I ordered him to go to bed and he went up. I remember he got really mad, and he’s got a pretty bad temper anyway.

"Yo dad, quit throwing shade on me will ya?" — *“Yo dad, quit throwing shade on me, will ya?”*

He was slamming doors and making quite a fuss. I remember finally putting him in his room. I went back downstairs and I was sitting in my kitchen. Like half an hour later, all of a sudden I see Blade come down. And he’s got on Shawn’s t-shirt.

*Collective gasp*

Shawn's hat *GASP* — Shawn’s hat… ***GASP***

And he’s got the Shawn glove and he’s looking at me like this and he’s opening his hand.

*OOOOOOH!!!*

I said, "So, what are you supposed to be?" — I said, *“So, what are you supposed to be?”*

He looks at me and he goes, "I'M IN THE CLIQUE" — He looks at me and he goes, **“I’M IN THE CLIQUE.”**

The Clique: Shawn, Triple H, Nash, Hall and Kid — The Clique: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Nash, Hall and Kid

I still put him to bed. I remember telling Shawn that story. But uh, you know, when I think back to those days of the Hart Foundation… with um, Brian Pillman…

*MASSIVE POP for Pillman*

Jim Neidhart, The British Bulldog, Owen…

*Crowd pops*

Those were the happiest days of my life.

And I uh, I always look back on those days with a real deep fondness.

The Good Old Days — R.I.P. Pillman, Owen and Bulldog

And I was lucky — I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the great fans I’ve got all around the world. If I could give any advice to all the young wrestlers out there: never forsake your fans. Never forget them. Because if he’s a fan of yours, you’ll want to hold on to them for as long as they’ll take ya.

*Applause*

I wanna say that I was a real world’s champion. I traveled around the world, and uh, I was really proud to be a world champion. I wrestled in India, Israel, South Africa, the Philippines. I wrestled in so many places. And Germany, I wanna say a special thank you to all the fans I had in Germany. I remember they knocked down the barricades just to come up and give me a big hug before my match, or after my match. It was a beautiful experience that I’ll never forget. They were probably the most loyal and devoted fans I ever had. Canada, you know… I was always a Canadian first. I never ever forgot where I came from.

People always say why would you wear pink? Pink was a very special color for me. If you mix a little red and white together, you get pink. Sometimes I thought maybe I should have had a better color throughout my career. Maybe black and gold or something would have been a little nicer. But you know, there was something very neutral about pink as a color. I always said it took a real man to wear pink. Pink can be whatever you want it to be. And I uh, I love the color pink.

*Crowd chuckles*

I’m getting ready to close but I wanna say that uh… to the wrestlers… you need to pace yourselves for the long haul. And it’s not so much about hurting one another. It’s about respecting the art.

*Applause*

I wrestled for 23 years, and it’s not easy to go out there every night and describe yourself as the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. But I wrestled 23 years and I never once injured one wrestler ever. That I know of, anyway. And I was a pretty physical wrestler. And the whole business is about trust and respect. And there’s a deep meaning behind the words, “Doing the honors.”

I wanna thank every wrestler that I ever worked with anywhere around the world. And in closing, um, I want to thank my wife in Italy. When I had my stroke a couple years ago, I remember I got emails and letters from fans all around the world saying they were praying for me. And they must have been praying good because I was lucky and fortunate enough to have been blessed with a great recovery. And I’m standing here today.

*Applause*

If I didn’t have the recovery that I had, then I would never have met the sweet angel that saved me over in Italy. She’s over in Italy now with my pug and I just wanna say hi to her. Cinzia, thank you for being my angel.

And uh, I wanna thank everybody for all the great memories. Wembley Stadium, all my fans in England…

That was my favorite match that I ever had, and I’m happy to tell you that. And I wouldn’t change that minute, that moment for anything.

SummerSlam 1992 saw an epic Bret-Bulldog match — Wembley Stadium was the site of SummerSlam 1992

Bret and Bulldog put on a clinic — Bret and Bulldog put on a masterful clinic

I guess I’m gonna wrap up here but I just wanna say that uh, to all the wrestlers and everyone around the world, if I could give only one message to them it would be this. “The best chance you have if you want to rise to the top is to give yourself up the loneliness. Fear nothing, and work hard. One thing you’ll discover is that life is based less than you think on what you’ve learned and much more than you think on what you have inside you right from the very beginning.”

And I’m happy to say that uh, you don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m good, I’m happy to be alive, I’m glad to be here. And I thank each of you for coming out here tonight. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The pink and black attack.

The excellence of execution.

The best there is.

The best there was.

The best there ever will be.

Whatever you want to call Bret, he was a wrestler for the ages. His Hall of Fame speech still gives me goosebumps to this very day. Although I was never in the wrestling business, there is a strange nostalgic bond I have with these crazy larger than life characters. Even though they don’t know me, I feel like I somehow know them. They almost feel like distant uncles you only see every other Christmas. I guess that’s why I still follow wrestling today. Not as religiously as I once did, mind you, but I’ll always follow the product and be a fan for life. Always looking for that chance to jump out of my chair and mark out like I’m five years old again watching Hulkamania reign supreme. The WWF (now WWE) has given me many fond memories over the years. Whether you like or dislike pro wrestling, there exists a special brotherhood and fraternity within wrestling circles. You see it clear as day through Bret’s stories. Every week these guys and gals go on the road, traveling thousands of miles, sacrificing their bodies, their families and more. To all the wrestlers out there, and especially to Bret “The Hitman” Hart, thank you for everything. Through all the ups and downs I will forever be a fan.

The Amazing Spider-Man: Lethal Foes (SFC)

A Spider-Man game exclusive to the Super Famicom — A *Spider-Man* game exclusive to the Super Famicom

Today marks the official release of the highly touted superhero film, Spider-Man: Homecoming. It’s only fitting to review one of his many SNES games. But which one? Well, I’m going to go with an obscure Super Famicom only title that not too many are aware of. Most of us retro gamers know that there were five Spider-Man games released on the Super Nintendo. Few know about the Japanese exclusive The Amazing Spider-Man: Lethal Foes. Before we take a closer look let’s quickly run down the five more well known Spider-Man games on the SNES.

Spider-Man/X-Men: Arcade's Revenge — *Spider-Man and the X-Men*

Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems — *Marvel Super Heroes*

Marvel Comics proudly presents…

HE’S YOUR FAVORITE…
HE’S MY FAVORITE…

[Wait, what?! -Ed.]

Sorry, Spidey. Let’s try this again.

[Do those even exist any more? -Ed.]

Nope, you can’t.

Alright, on with the show. The Amazing Spider-Man: Lethal Foes features nine short stages.

[That’s what she said -Ed.]

Because he can cling to any wall he touches, Spider-Man feels a bit sticky. Each button is put to use. The web attack is very small and there seems to be an odd delay. This is especially discernible when shooting in mid-air.

Still, the web shooter has its moments. Just don’t ever use it during boss battles — it’s way too slow leaving you exposed. The bosses also have a sixth sense regarding the web shooter. Before you can barely raise his wrist, they’re on Spider-Man like white on rice. The web attack should have been better implemented but it does prove effective where speed is not a factor.

OTHER MOVES IN THE PLAYBOOK

The shoulder buttons send Spider-Man to the air: L for left and R for right. It’s fun to toy with but honestly other than the first level you can get by fine without it.

The trusty ol' boot — The trusty ol’ boot

He's stickier than sticky rice — He’s stickier than sticky rice

His tendency to cling on to any surface makes him a bit sticky at times but I guess one could argue it’s more authentic this way. It certainly makes for a slightly cumbersome playing experience, though.

Spider-Man stays trim by breaking into brisk jogs.

Spider-Man’s pain threshold allows him to incur a lot of damage.

So it looks decent, eh? Unfortunately, some flaws hamper the experience.

As mentioned, Spider-Man is a bit sticky. At inopportune times he can cling to unwanted spots. This results in wrestling with the controller to get him back on track. Some cheap hits may occur during this process

The enemy roster is lacking in both quantity and quality

The timer forces the player to rush through the levels, giving one little time to enjoy the various sights and sounds. The levels are short to begin with, so the timer only makes the game that much shorter. The timer doesn’t reset when you meet up with the boss so you REALLY have to rush through the levels, or else pay the penalty of the timer expiring. It’s unnecessarily lame if you ask me

The boss battles are of the “mindless press attack rapidly” variety. I was quite disappointed with the lack of imaginative and stimulating boss fights. On the higher difficulty levels the AI is ridiculously cheap, too

Speaking of the bosses, here’s the first five:

GREEN GOBLIN! One of my favorite Spider-Man foes.

Shout-out to Lizard!

The levels contain your standard fare clichés seen in many other action titles. The portal set pieces in level 3-2, however, displayed the kind of absorbing creativity I was hoping the rest of the game would have.

First, you must kick the switch to activate the door above. Move it — the door doesn’t stay open for long!

Shortly thereafter, a second portal appears. Spider-Man is no dummy, however. His spider senses inform him this second portal is a bit shady. And he’s right. Touch the second portal and you’re whisked right back to the first one.

Granted, this is nothing new but it’s these little moments that I enjoy in these sort of games to break up the cookie cutter tedium. I just wish there was more of this in Lethal Foes.

My favorite level is the second stage. You’re dumped into a sewer maze littered with multiple passages. Some are dead-ends with money or health bonuses. Others are dead-ends with enemies waiting to pounce on you. The rest will take you toward your goal of reaching the exit. Due to the open-ended chaotic nature of the sewer stage, Lethal Foes suddenly became a lot more thrilling and gratifying to play.

This was also the only stage where I didn’t mind the time limit. It made it that much more of a tense stage. For the other levels designs, however, the timer didn’t work for me and just ended up as a negative.

It’s a real shame, then, that the game’s level design fluctuates so wildly. A great game has an engaging and captivating design throughout, but especially moreso as the game progresses. Well, I’m not sure what happened here. Some levels make you cheer quietly in your seat while others sadly have you scratching your head wondering if the developers just wanted to call it quits.

For example, in one stage Spider-Man goes through a park. It’s all linear. All you do is walk right, beat up the odd villain here and there, and finally it’s the boss. And it’s yet another “punch him rapidly” affair. What gives? Why is one level so fun, like the Sewer, and the next so dull, like the Park? Due to such a dramatic swing, you wonder what could have been if the game had better level design consistently throughout.

Therefore, I think you all know where I’m going with this. Lethal Foes is a mixed bag. You take the good with the bad. If you’re a hardcore SNES and Spider-Man fan then you’ll certainly find some merit here. However, don’t explode it to rock your world. It had a lot of potential but ultimately falls way short. Still, not a bad game at all.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Someone on the internet over a decade ago once called Lethal Foes “the best 2D Spider-Man game ever.” I’m not nearly as impressed. The developer, Agenda, could have fleshed out certain ideas better to keep players more enthralled. More frames of animation, more imaginative boss fights and smoother control would have gone a long way. Lethal Foes could easily have been a “hidden obscure gem” but it just doesn’t have the remarkable playability to back it up.

I think I am turning Japanese... — I think I am turning Japanese…

But for all the negative points I raised, I like Lethal Foes in a guilty pleasure sort of way. It doesn’t break any new ground but it plays just well enough to be enjoyable.

But really there are so many action titles out there that are better AND easier to obtain, so classify Lethal Foes under the “For diehard fans and collectors only” file.

Catch Spider-Man: Homecoming out in theatres NOW!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Nintendo Man

Spider-Man: Homecoming hits theatres tomorrow on July 7, 2017. The masked superhero has a famous saying: “Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” It’s a perfect time to share a Nintendo story from my youth. It’s a story that’s going to be featured in Jeffrey Wittenhagen’s upcoming Nintendo book. Thank you Jeff for allowing me the honor to be a small part of another one of your great books. To all my readers here on RVGFanatic, here’s my story in full below!

Chilling right before the feature presentation :D — Chilling right before the feature presentation

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD NINTENDO MAN

I’m instantly bombarded by a tidal wave of memories whenever I think about the 8-bit Nintendo. Like so many others, I grew up on the NES in the late ‘80s. Born in 1983, I was just old enough to appreciate the NES when it started hitting its stride in North America circa 1987. I have fond memories of all those lazy carefree Sunday mornings spent playing the likes of Contra, Mega Man 2 and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! just to name a few. Nintendo help made my childhood fun and memorable. Back then gaming was a brand new experience to me. There were no fancy 3D graphics, no complex controller layouts and no lengthy 10 minute tutorials to sit through. The NES gave you two buttons; all you had to do was press start and you were good to go. Sometimes simplicity can’t be beat. There aren’t a lot of bells and whistles — the NES is proof that a game doesn’t have to be overly fancy or complicated in order to be great.

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! — *Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!*

My uncle bought a Nintendo for me and my brother in 1987. I still remember the humble collection we managed to amass through the years…

My childhood is filled with fond memories of myself, Uncle Jimmy and my brother Kevin switching off for hours on end as we sat glued to our television set playing the latest NES titles. Hell, the NES was the ORIGINAL Nintendo “Switch.” After all, those halcyon days were all about switching off with my brother and uncle on Contra as we attempted to save the universe on a nightly basis back in the summer of 1989. Hanging out with my uncle and brother blasting alien scum to Kingdom Come was some of the greatest times of my childhood.

Gotta kill 'em all! — Gotta kill ‘em all!

Another fond memory I carry with me were all the rental stores that populated my area. There had to be a good 10 video stores all within a 30 mile radius back in the late ‘80s where I lived. From the established titans of the industry (Blockbuster) to all the little quirky mom and pop shops, it was an entertainment mecca with more goodies than you could watch or play to cover the span of ten lifetimes.

My favorite store of the lot hands down was Evergreen Video. I blame Evergreen Video and its owner, Tom, just a common man working hard for the American dream, as the source that corrupted me. One day in the late ’80s my dad was driving me and my brother around. We spotted Evergreen Video by chance when we made a pit stop in a small plaza to pick up a few items. I had never seen Evergreen Video before but on that day there it stood. Its big bold green letters silently called out to me and my brother, beckoning us over. We found ourselves breaking into a brisk stroll as we made a beeline for the store, our legs suddenly on a mission of their own.

The renting craze began that fateful day — The renting craze began on that fateful day

I can still hear the little chime that rung each time someone entered the store. It was a quaint shop with lots of family videos. You were immediately greeted upon entry by four tall wooden shelves that began near the entrance and ended close to the register counter, which sat roughly 60-70 feet straight ahead. Two columns of towering tan shelves rested on each side of the store, freeing the middle aisle for a clear walk to the counter and a good look at the man who owned the store, Tom. Rocking brown rimmed spectacles and a beard like it was 2014, Tom became something of an uncle figure to me and Kevin. You would often find Tom invariably sporting a flannel shirt of one kind or another. In fact, he was the spitting image of Al Borland (played by Richard Karn) from the ‘90s TV sitcom, Home Improvement, only with glasses.

Tom looked a lot like Richard Karn with glasses — Tom looked a lot like Richard Karn (with glasses)

Up front and to the right sat a small wooden shelf. There Tom kept his collection of 30-40 NES games. Tucked away in a corner, it was this little heavenly nook that my brother and I always made a mad scramble for every Saturday afternoon. The smell of the oak wood shelves permeates to this day. If there was ever a quintessential mom and pop rental store, Evergreen Video surely was it.

Evergreen's NES selection was quaint but inviting — Evergreen’s NES selection was quaint but inviting

Tom worked there every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. And no matter what, we could always count on seeing his big smile greeting us behind the register counter whenever he saw us trampling in. I still remember some of the games I rented from Evergreen Video…

… just to name some. Back then there was no YouTube or anything to really scope these games out. You basically rented them on a whim based on the cover art and how cool the back of the box looked. It made for hit and miss rentals and some crazy times. You just never knew what you were going to get. In some regard it was almost like the Wild Wild West back then!

Some boxes look great but the game, not so much

I was a sucker for them bright yellow covers!

There was a certain purity to those days that I miss. The same can be said for the purity that courses through the 8-bit veins of the NES itself. Timing is everything in life — the Nintendo and the late ’80s simply went hand in hand and everything else that came along with it, including mom and pop shops.

Tom was so good to us; he even held games for me and Kevin. My brother would call and ask for a game and if Tom had said game then he would hold it for us. I remember him telling us once, with a big smile, “Only for you guys.” Maybe he said that to every kid customer of his, but damnit I like to think he meant what he said. And I don’t doubt that he did because that’s just the kind of guy Tom was.

There’s one story in particular that I’ll never forget. One time we came in to pick up TMNT II: The Arcade Game. We met Tom’s son that day. He was playing the game on the small TV that sat behind the register counter. I felt so bad when he was forced to turn the game off just so we could rent it. He was on the snowfield level battling the wolf boss, Tora. I remember Tora flashing and blinking red as Tom told his very own flesh and blood, “Sorry but these boys need to rent the game now.” I’ll never forget the poor kid looking absolutely crushed, wanting to carry on like any TMNT loving kid would, but he respected his dad far too much to disobey. I always felt guilty about that! Tom had this incredible knack of making me and Kevin feel like we were part of his family. It was top-notch service the likes of which you can’t buy. The kind of genuine service you can only find at a mom and pop shop.

Man I still feel guilty about it! — Man I still feel guilty about this!

Being huge fans of Double Dragon II, Kevin and I couldn’t wait for Double Dragon III. When it finally arrived in early 1991, my dad took us to Evergreen Video to rent a copy. The drive home was filled with visions of spinning roundhouse kicks and crazy throws galore, but alas, when we popped the game in it refused to play for some reason. My dad promptly called Evergreen Video to inform Tom about the situation and Tom told us to come back for a no-frills exchange. We ended up picking Battletoads as a replacement rental. While we were disappointed that we couldn’t play the eagerly anticipated Double Dragon III, we made the most out of that weekend. More importantly, Tom’s great customer service and integrity once again shined like a thousand stars shimmering in the night sky.

Good times. Hard times too — *Battletoads* kept us entertained

But here’s the part that blows my mind. A few weeks later we made our usual Saturday afternoon trek to Evergreen Video. Tom surprised us when he revealed a brand new copy of Double Dragon III — reserved just for us! He said he was waiting on us to come by because he knew how disappointed we were that his previous copy didn’t work. He wanted to make things right, but he already did that with the Battletoads exchange. It exemplifies the kind of upstanding man Tom was. He always went above and beyond the call of duty. If Yelp existed back in 1991, Evergreen Video would have gotten 5 stars all day! As for Double Dragon III, let’s just say some sequels disappoint.

Bittersweet memories... — Bittersweet memories…

Early 1992 was an interesting time. There was a changing of the guard. You could feel the shift in the winds, and you could see the writing on the wall. The 8-bit NES was being phased out for the brand new 16-bit Super Nintendo. And with it, Evergreen Video. Business wasn’t booming for Tom in early 1992 as it was in the late ’80s. When the Super Nintendo came to the US in late 1991, Tom bought some SNES games to keep up with the times. I rented Ultraman and sadly that was the last game I would ever rent from Evergreen Video. The beginning of one era (the SNES) marked the ending for another (Evergreen Video).

The end of an era — The infamous last game I rented

One innocuous Saturday afternoon in early 1992 my dad took me and Kevin to Evergreen Video to return Ultraman. Unfortunately, that trip proved to be our last. Tom told us he and the family were moving on. But because I was so young I didn’t really grasp his heartfelt admission. I just assumed he would still be there next Saturday and the Saturday after that. Because it’s Tom. And that’s what Tom does. After all, he’s your friendly neighborhood Nintendo man.

But reality crushed me when my mom took me shopping in that same plaza a week later. I stole a glance inside the remains of Evergreen Video. What was once a simple but lovely store that provided me with so many good memories was now a broken, fragmented shell of its former glory. A part of me expected to still see the wooden shelves and Tom’s friendly mug situated behind the register counter. Instead, what I found that day was an empty store torn down in shambles, the floor littered with debris. I felt like crying as I peered in through the glass pane. I lost a little bit of innocence that day. From that moment on I forever realized that things don’t last forever, no matter how much you want them to.

The last time I visited that plaza was June 2008. I had just graduated from college with a teaching credential. My cousins wanted to celebrate the occasion by eating at a Chinese restaurant. Of all the places they could have chosen, of course it had to be at a restaurant in that small plaza near the defunct remains of Evergreen Video. But of course. It was a surreal night. I just graduated from college and was looking forward to the future. But returning to that childhood plaza for the first time in what had to be over a decade got me far more emotional than I thought possible. After dinner my cousins declared a movie night at their place. But having unfinished business, I told them I would drop by later. As they drove off I stood outside the restaurant all by my lonesome. I slowly turned my gaze to the classic spot where Evergreen Video once proudly stood ages ago. My heart started racing as I knew what stood before me: I was on the verge of facing a huge part of my childhood for quite possibly the last time ever. I knew what I had to do…

"Man, where does the time go, Doc?" — It was a surreal night. Unbelievably surreal

The building was vacant. I peered inside as memories came flooding back. I saw a montage in my own mind playing. Rushing in, pushing the door open, hearing the chime of the bell and being greeted by Tom’s friendly smile. Making a beeline for the NES games, admiring the art on the boxes and hoping you would pick a good game to play for that weekend. All those images flashed in my mind one after the other. And then I was snapped back to reality. I said a quick silent thank you to Tom. Turning my back to the store, I stood there for a minute to take in the cool early evening air.

I reminisced about the past while also eagerly anticipating the future. I had just graduated and was on my way to achieving my childhood dream of having my own classroom, my own students to teach and to be a positive male influence in their lives. Not unlike how Tom was to me all those years ago in his own unique way. Alas, as the final shards of sunlight pierced the storefront, I decided that was enough reflection for one night. Placing my childhood memories back in the box, I texted my cousins that I was heading over and made my way to my car. I stole one last glance at the place where Evergreen Video once stood tall and proud. I gave Evergreen Video one final knowing nod as the engine roared. The night was still young… and so was I.

There was an eerie stillness to the night — Farewell, Evergreen Video. Thanks for the memories

That fateful June evening of 2008 was the last time I visited that small plaza where Evergreen Video once stood. It’s crazy that it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve been back to that area. I’ve since gone on to fulfill my dreams of becoming a teacher. I like to think Tom, wherever he is, would be proud of me. To this day I have no idea where he is or even what he’s up to. I never knew his last name. It’s been over 25 years since I last saw the man. It’s sad to think there’s even a chance he may no longer be alive. But wherever he is, in whatever state or space, I hope he’s doing well and at peace.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"... well, it was nice meeting ya" — Happy trails, Tom

Tom was a uncle figure to me and Kevin growing up, and Evergreen Video became much more than a mom and pop video store. It was a connection and bond held between strangers turned family. A bond that formed much like the bond that video games can help forge between people from different walks of life. And the NES certainly did that. Whenever I think back to my childhood, I invariably think about the NES, Tom and Evergreen Video. It was a different era. A simpler time. I’m grateful that I got to experience gaming’s golden age growing up. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Long live Nintendo, and long live the memories of Tom and Evergreen Video.

Check out Jeff's book for even more NES stories! — Check out Jeff’s book for even more NES stories!

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! (NES)

Everyone has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth — *Everyone has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth*

It’s hard to fathom that come this October, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! will turn the big 3-0. Wow, where does the time go? Growing up, my brother and friends adored Mario. Don’t get me wrong — I loved the Italian plumber myself, but when it came to the NES it was always about three games that truly cemented me as a gamer for life. Contra, Mega Man 2 and of course, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! I recently reviewed the sequel, Super Punch-Out!!, so it’s only fitting to return to the original and remember why it’s arguably the greatest boxing video game of all time.

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE

We came for Mike Tyson. We stayed for Little Mac.

Co-starring Carl Otis Winslow!

MINOR CIRCUIT

Ah, Glass Joe. Nintendo’s greatest jobber.

Joe’s facial expressions are priceless.

Love seeing that spit flying out!

Mario moonlighting as a ref was so cool.

Von Kaiser is a big step up from Joe.

Earn stars for Mac’s Super Uppercut.

23-13? About to go 23-14.

Dodging like a smooth criminal.

Control is crazy on point.

Knock off his mustache!

Piston Honda was serious business.

So intimidating the first time you see him!

Snapping his massive head back felt so sweet.

Piston’s infamous flurry of jabs.

He polishes it off with a gigantic uppercut.

Love the way he back peddles before falling.

Looks like Paul Bunyan with those huge feet!

Ah, the classic training sequence.

MAJOR CIRCUIT

Don Flamenco has a face you just want to punch.

He gave off such a douche and creep vibe!

Give him that electrocution hair.

One of my childhood friends looked like King Hippo.

King Hippo’s defense is top-notch.

Until it isn’t. Classic moment!

One knock-out and he’s done for.

Great Tiger used to give me fits.

Love how his eyes bug out when you drill him.

His teleportation trick was a bit trippy.

Look for his turban to flash…

One of the all-time great NES villains!

Such an imposing sight the very first time!

Did this feel good or what?

He’s got buggy eye syndrome, too.

The Bull Charge is such an iconic move.

As was the counter for it!

WORLD CIRCUIT

Note: You’ll have rematches with Piston Honda and Don Flamenco in this circuit. However, I’ll skip showing them again even though they are slightly tweaked to be more difficult second time around.

Soda Popinksi. What an all-time great name!

He scared me as a kid…

He always whupped my ass.

“Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.” He’ll be glad to.

Enjoy this while you can.

He’s a tough bastard!

He’s no Randy Savage, though.

They just keep getting bigger and bigger.

Watch out for his Macho Spin Punch.

Whew!

A NES rite of passage.

Making it this far was impressive alone.

Hey, he’s not so bad…

Yeah, right. Gotta be super fast!

Arguably the most intense NES final boss battle.

You were a legend if you could beat Tyson legit.

My brother’s friend was able to make it to Tyson on a few occasions. Just getting to Iron Mike was an accomplishment in and of itself. Being able to land a few blows was enough to earn you a couple high fives. Tyson is very fast and very hard to hit, let alone knock out. If anyone ever did, they became a gawd damn legend. No one in my group could ever do it, and it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Tyson terrorized many Nintendo kids growing up in the ’80s. He’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

Show him who’s boss, Mac!

TELL ‘IM, DOC LOUIS!

In-between rounds Doc Louis will give you tips.

Gotta love the added damage to the avatars!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! is one of my favorite NES games of all time. I love the 8-bit Nintendo but if I were to be perfectly honest a large portion of its library has not aged well. To be frank, some have aged downright terribly. However, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! stands the test of time even nearly 30 years later. From the huge sprites to the different strategies one must adopt from fighter to fighter, there’s no denying this is one of the all-time classics. A truly great game never goes out of style. No matter how much time passes by, it remains as playable and fun as ever. Few games can claim that. This game can. It’s always hard to admit when a childhood favorite fails to live up to standards. In this case, there are thankfully no nostalgia goggles. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! is still a TKO even three decades after its initial release. That says it all, really.

OVERALL: 9.5

Super Punch-Out!! (SNES)

**Pub & Dev: Nintendo | October 1994 | 16 MEGS**

When the Super Nintendo came out in 1991, many people eagerly awaited the souped up 16-bit sequels of their favorite 8-bit NES classics. And for the most part, one by one, they poured in. The first was Super Mario World, then you had the likes of Contra III, Super Castlevania IV, Mega Man X, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Super Metroid and the list goes on. But where was our beloved Little Mac? Finally, in October of 1994, the excruciatingly long wait was over. We were at last gifted with Super Punch-Out!! It proved to be a great game that was worth the wait.

MAC’S COMEBACK (IN AMERICA ONLY)

Nintendo recently announced their upcoming release of the SNES Classic Edition. Of the 21 SNES titles on offer, Super Punch-Out!! made the cut for the American release. It’s interesting to note the Japanese version picked another game in place of Super Punch-Out!! Actually, there was never a Super Famicom version of Super Punch-Out!! ever released. I guess Japan is sticking to their guns. It’s strange but true. I have no idea why but it’s certainly their loss.

PUNCH-OUT!! MEMORIES

If you grew up in the ’80s then you probably had an 8-bit Nintendo or at the very least you knew of a friend who did. For me and many other kids, growing up in the ’80s meant a steady diet of NES, TGIF and WWF. It was Mario and Hulk Hogan. Contra and Randy Savage. Mega Man and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. Castlevania and The Ultimate Warrior. Glass Joe and “Iron” Mike Sharpe! Yup, you can’t talk about the best NES games from the ’80s without mentioning Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

Nintendo made us wait for Super Punch-Out!! but hey, they did give us fair warning at the end of the NES game. Not sure how many eagle-eyed gamers caught their “hidden” message but they didn’t lie — they held up their end of the bargain.

[Boy, PLEASE -Ed.]

ROUND TWO… FIGHT!!

They say your past has a way of catching up with you. Mac finds this to be true as some of his old ring “buddies” are back for another go. I wish Piston Honda and Soda Popinski made the cut as well but I get the need for new blood. At least we got Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman and Super Macho Man. It was like seeing a dear old friend, er, or bully in this case. Not that I know what it was like to be bullied growing up. Of course not. Yes… of course not. [Right -Ed.]

Defeat these 12 and you unlock four more

I guess King Hippo must be enjoying retirement, eh? I’m not the biggest fan of these new boxers — Gabby Jay is just a cheap Glass Joe knockoff with none of the charm — but I am a fan of Piston Hurricane and Masked Muscle. They’re great additions to the roster while the others felt a little too gimmicky for my taste.

NO LONGER STAR GAZING

Make the pain rain, Mac man! — **NO STARS, JUST BARS!**

In the NES game you receive a star for counter attacks, landing a swift blow and so forth. This acted as your rite of passage to using “super punches.” In this game things run a little differently. Once you fill up your meter, you’ll have access to all the special punches your heart desires… so long as you don’t get hit. I like this change.

MINOR CIRCUIT

Gabby Jay is the SNES version of Glass Joe. Hell, he even graduated from Glass Joe’s School of Boxing. Why anyone would pay top dollar to be trained by arguably the worst professional boxer ever is beyond me, but Gabby Jay does have one win to his name. His victim? Who else but Glass Jo(k)e. At 1-99, the 56 year old Gabby Jay doesn’t have much left in the tank. Then again, he didn’t have much even when he was in his physical prime. Might as well hand him his 100th loss then maybe he’ll retire. Jay opens each fight with a pathetic war cry of “YAY!”

Jays having a stroke — Is he having a stroke?

The heaviest boxer you’ll face, what he lacks in boxing technique he makes up for with a punch that packs a mighty wallop! Originally a carpenter, Bear Hugger grew up sparring with the animals in the forest near his home. His pet grizzly bear was his closest rival until he left Saskatoon to begin his pro career. Though not the best, he’s a major step up from the Gabby Jays of the world.

Dont bother punching him in the ponch — Useless punching his belly

... what you had for breakfast! — … what ya had for breakfast!

No more Mario moonlighting as a ref. Sigh — Sadly, no more Mario moonlighting as a ref. Sigh

After losing his home to a terrible storm, Piston Hurricane took his anger out on the mean streets of Havana. He soon became known and revered as “The King of ‘Vana.” Nobody dared to even look at him the slightest wrong way. Legend has it he once knocked out his own mom for looking at him funny. Turns out mama had gas. So just imagine what he’ll do to you!

Hes a bit childish — Peek-A-Boo, I kill you

Hell test your dodging skills — You’re no hurricane…

Not even a CATEGORY ONE hurricane! — Not even a ***CATEGORY ONE*** hurricane!

King of Vana huh? — ***“King of ‘Vana”*** huh?

Youre just a couir — You just a court jester in my world!

Go back to being the Queen of 'Vana! — *“Go back to being the Queen of ‘Vana!”*

Knocking out your opponent silly and watching him fly back to his corner is one of the game’s pure joys. It also gives you a breather — madly tap the buttons to recuperate any lost health in classic Punch-Out!! form.

"Better luck next time, PUSSY HURRICANE!" — Better luck next time, Pussy Hurricane

Though sometimes they don’t get up, granting you the right to gloat and taunt like no tomorrow. Camera flashes abound and the crowd cheers. It definitely nails down the big fight atmosphere.

Truly one of the most iconic villains in Nintendo history. There are many memorable bad guys in 8-bit gaming history but my two favorites were Abobo and Bald Bull. Universally beloved, it just wouldn’t be Punch-Out!! without Bald Bull as the champion of the first circuit. Not being his first rodeo, some boxing pundits claim his best years are behind him and that he’s more reputation than dominance at this point…

Time to take you out back... — Time to take ya out back…

... and put you down for good! — … and put you down for good!

Really? This again? — Really? ***THIS*** again?

Can't teach an old bull new tricks — *Can’t teach an old bull new tricks*

"Welcome to 1994, bitch!" — ***“Welcome to 1994, bitch!”***

The infamous “Bald Bull flat on his belly” look. You know you love it. Don’t feel sorry for him. He’s had a heck of a career. But now is the time for the new generation.

Congrats, Mac! Love the celebration animation

Quit the excuses. Bald Bullshit, more like — Quit the excuses, old timer. Bald Bullshit, more like

I like the detailed stats you get at the end of each fight. Gone is the round system. Instead you get 3 minutes to duke it out. Some prefer the old style but I didn’t mind this too much. I do miss the funky little tips Doc Louis would give Mac in-between rounds, though.

30 seconds, Bull? How the mighty have fallen

The battery backup memory records the top 8 times. The NES game didn’t have this. It was fun to try and top your best time. Funny how addicting trying to shave half a second off your best time is.

In addition, whole circuit points are recorded

These little touches add to the game’s longevity.

MAJOR CIRCUIT

Bob loves to juke and jive. In fact, back home he was crowned the “Jive King” of Kingston. Now he’s in the States looking to make a name for himself. Speaking of names, he’s rumored to be boxing under an assumed name but no reporter has dared question him since the, ahem, Columbus incident. Tony Ellis, you’re in our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery…

He's not drunk — Don’t fall for his mind games

Nice try, pal! — You’re gonna have to try better than that!

"JIVE TO THIS!" — ***“JIVE TO THIS, SUCKA!”***

Bob Charlie may seem to be drunk but the bastard knows what he’s doing out there. Unfortunately for him, you’re no ham-and-egger (R.I.P. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan). THIS ONE IS FOR TONY ELLIS, DAMNIT!

The Major Circuit’s youngest boxer, scouts are impressed with Dragon Chan. Only 22 years old, he quickly ascended the ranks of the boxing universe. He makes for a terrible interview, though, since he speaks not a lick of English. Pain, however, is universal. Trained as a kick boxer, Dragon Chan is infamous for pulling into his bag of tricks. If you thought Bob Charlie to be a little unconventional, you haven’t seen anything yet my friend!

Whoa, when did this become MMA... — Whoa, when did this become MMA…

Be ready to duck! — Hidden Dragon, Peking Duck [HAR HAR -Ed.]

Dragon Chan is quick on his feet — Dragon Chan is super quick on his feet

Masked Muscle follows the classic Punch-Out!! tradition of big beefy boxers imposing enough to make you contemplate a change of careers. Take a steroid-injected masked wrestler, slip on a pair of gloves, give him a purple mist dirty attack and you have instant magic. Muscle was banned from pro wrestling for spewing a lethal mist into his opponents’ eyes that caused permanent eye damage. He’s one tough hombre!

He forces you to use both fists — He forces you to use both arms

Are you sneezing or dabbing, bro? — Bro, are you sneezing or dabbing?

Rumor has it his skull contains a metal plate

I hope you're wearing your cup — I hope he’s wearing his cup…

IT'S THE DEADLY MIST! — ***IT’S THE DEADLY MIST! PURPLE RAIN!!!***

If the mist catches you... — If the mist catches you…

... this is the not so pleasant result — … this is the not so pleasant result

Go back to Lucha Underground! — *“Tell Vinnie Mac to suck it!”*

Classic Mr. Sandman returns from the NES game. He looks superb in 16-bits, eh? The first seven boxers are easy to dispose of but Mr. Sandman is the first real challenge for newbie players. With his mighty powerful punches and near mythical aura, Mr. Sandman confidently reigns as champion of the Major Circuit. There’s a reason why some call him “Chocolate Thunder.” He might make you call him daddy!

Time to put your big boy pants on — Time to put on your big boy pants, Mac

His punches are dynamite if they connect

Now you got his attention — Now you’ve got his full attention

To the left to the left — To the left, to the left

To the right to the right — To the right, to the right

YOU MUST NOT KNOW 'BOUT ME! — ***YOU MUST NOT KNOW ‘BOUT ME!***

I COULD BEAT YOU IN JUST A MINUTE!

Ahem, um, sorry about that. Mr. Sandman takes Mac to the distance but David slays Goliath in the end. Look at all that spit coming out of his mouth. Love the attention to detail! You had a heck of a run there, Sandman, but this ain’t the ’80s anymore. It’s time to graduate to the World Circuit and take out another old friend… Super Macho Man!

WORLD CIRCUIT

Aran was teased and bullied for his name growing up. Being scrawny didn’t help. He skipped college and instead devoted his time to lifting weights and he picked up boxing along the way. As his muscles developed so did his boxing skills. Known for his unrelenting scrappiness, Aran Ryan now takes out his childhood angst on anyone standing across the ring from him.

Block your money maker — Not the money maker

He's a tougher Piston Hurricane — He’s a tougher Piston Hurricane

No four leaf clover's going to help him — No four leaf clover will help him

I don't swing that way, pal — I don’t swing that way, pal

At just 19 years old, Heike Kagero’s future is bright but he has already established himself with a respectable 14-8 pro record. Rumor has it Heike dabbles in the occult, and that his hair is actually the spirit of a samurai protégé who died far too young centuries ago. Mind you, that’s just a rumor. But those who have been whipped by Heike’s hair will tell you differently!

That boy ain't right... — That boy ain’t right…

Heike reminds me of the zebra Battle Beast... — He reminds me of the zebra *Battle Beast*…

Mad Clown wasn’t always a clown, and he wasn’t always mad. In fact, he had a budding career as an opera singer. But on the biggest show of his life, he froze on stage. From that point on he ran to the circus but it wasn’t long before they rejected him on account of mental instability. That’s when he turned to boxing. There he excelled. His trick? Pretending his opponent is one of the audience members who laughed at him!

Mad Clown brings his circus tricks with him — He’s brought his circus tricks with him

Don't dodge left or right here or else — You mad, bro?

He didn't take too kindly to that question — He didn’t take too kindly to that question

Evade this by ducking — Someone needs a hug

Or a stiff jab to the chin — Or better yet, a stiff shot to the chin

Nice try Bear Hugger, er, Mad Clown — Mac’s cardio game is on point

Time to send Bear Hugger... — Time to put Mad Clown down

See ya Twinkle Toes! — See ya, Twinkle Toes!

After all these years Super Macho Man’s reign of terror still sits atop the world of boxing. Well, of the World Circuit, anyhow. But don’t tell Super Macho Man that unless you want a couple black eyes. Owning a stellar record of 29-3, his only blemishes came at the hands of the Bruiser twins and an upset victory by Little Mac way back in 1987. The time for the rematch has finally come!

Was Mac's 1987 victory just a fluke? You decide! — Was Mac’s 1987 victory just a fluke? You decide!

The most intimidating curtsy you'll ever see — Most intimidating curtsy of all time

His Super Macho Punch is devastating — Super Macho Punch!

Oh so satisfying — His face there reminds me of…

But maybe that's just me — But maybe that’s just me!

Show him your footwork, Mac! — C’mon, my grandma’s faster!

I can do this all day — Really, that all you got?

SPECIAL CIRCUIT

You can’t see it there but Narcis Prince (what a fitting name) has a V on his sweater. People who tease him that it stands for virgin end up in the hospital. The V actually stands for victory. He’s a promising young boxer who shot up the ranks quickly. Narcis showed so much potential that he was promoted to the legendary Special Circuit — a circuit renowned for featuring only the best of the best. He throws a fit whenever you punch him in his “beautiful” face. Hey punk, it’s boxing. What do ya expect?!

That V is for victory all right — That V stands for victory all right

Hoy Quarlow (what a name) hobbles to the ring with his trusty wooden cane. But rather than setting it aside, he brings it into the ring to whack you upside the head with. What kind of shady organization is running this thing, eh?! At 78 years old Hoy has forgotten more about boxing than you’ll ever learn. Bearing more than a passing resemblance to Yoda, Hoy was appropriately known as “The Beast From Beijing.” Though he may not look it in his ripe old age, he can still knock out fools with the best of them! And then he’ll get the senior discount at the local Denny’s down the road. Because that’s how Hoy Quarlow rolls.

I don't want any of your wood! — I don’t want any of your wood!

The Bruiser twins rule the boxing world. Rick Bruiser is universally regarded as the second best boxer of this generation. His one loss came at the hands of his twin brother, Nick Bruiser, in a main event that broke the all time Pay-Per-View sales record. It was a fierce and close battle that many historians have touted as the greatest boxing bout in the annals of history. Rick is as menacing as they come. The deadly southpaw once decimated Bald Bull in under a minute and Bald Bull has been “broken” ever since. Mr. Sandman barely made a dent in this war machine and Super Macho Man quickly learned his place in the pecking order. If by some miracle you’re able to get by Rick, what’s left of you will be easy pickings for the even tougher Nick Bruiser. Damn. The Bruiser twins were born to dominate and destroy.

Maybe it's time to settle down... — Mac sees his life flash before him

The Undisputed Champ. Nick Bruiser is the ultimate boxer. No empathy, no emotion. Just a stone cold killer. Boosting a perfect 42-0 record, boxing pundits often argue who would win between “Iron” Mike Tyson and Nick Bruiser. Opinions differ but consensus says Nick Bruiser would ANNIHILATE Tyson. It’s hard to argue. Bruiser strikes fast and hard. The mere sight of him alone is enough to psych out most boxers. Bruiser’s aura is damn near MYTHICAL — he often beats opponents long before the bell sounds. Only one challenger can give him a run for his money, and his name is Little Mac. Bruiser scoffs at the very idea but deep down in his black heart he knows the threat that Little Mac presents. The Boxing Match of the Century has been signed. Who will win and be the Undisputed WVBA Champion? Only you can decide!

Long live the king, Rick Bruiser — Long live the king, Nick Bruiser

CLASS OF 1994

TIME ATTACK

Be immortalized forever (or until the battery dies)

The time attack mode records your fastest times and highest scores. It’s a sweet additional mode that the 8-bit NES game didn’t have.

Was there any doubt? [There was ONLY doubt -Ed.] — I just wish Doc Louis was here to witness it

Once you beat all four circuits, the game’s longevity relies on coming back to the time attack mode to set new highs. It’s always a good time stopping Bald Bull dead in his tracks during his Bull Charge. Or sending Mr. Sandman to the dream world myself. This isn’t the kind of game you play for hours on end. But it’s the kind that you are likely to occasionally play when you only have 15 minutes and want something quick and fun. At least that’s how Super Punch-Out!! is for me.

Beating a record by one tenth of a second — Barely beating a record is incredibly thrilling!

What can I say. I'm pretty good... [PLEASE -Ed.] — What can I say. I’m pretty good…

Believe it or not, I’ve beaten Super Macho Man in under 8 seconds. Look and see for yourself if you don’t believe me. The previous world record was 0’09″43. I submitted this shot to Nintendo for posterity but for some weird reason unbeknownst to me they’ve rejected my submission. Well, either that or they lost it in the mail. Alas, we’ll never know… [You are more delusional than Gabby Jay -Ed.]

MAC ‘N CHANGE

Did you know this was his original look?

There was a debate going around that the Mac in Super Punch-Out!! is not the same Little Mac from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! Actually, it is. In fact, this was his original look before Nintendo changed it. You can see that clearly is the Little Mac we all know and love. However, I guess they wanted to make him look a little bit “cooler” hence the change. Personally, I don’t mind. I still like the final product we got with regards to Little Mac. Besides, it’s mostly just cosmetics we’re talking about here. The gameplay delivers and that’s mainly what I care about. Still, it’s fascinating to recall the difference between Mac’s first form and what he eventually became.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Super Punch-Out!! was very well received by the majority of fans and critics alike. While more people seem to prefer Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! on the NES, very few have deemed Super Punch-Out!! as anything less than a great game in its own right. It graced the cover of GameFan (and what a cover it was) for their October 1994 issue. GameFan’s signature character, the Postmeister, stood in Mac’s place. A bit of a glory hog, that one. EGM gave it ratings of 79% and 86% (given by their two sports game writers as opposed to the traditional four person review panel). GameFan rated it 90, 95 and 95%. Super Play Magazine scored it at 90%. Little Mac’s return was an unequivocal success. Better late than never!

EGM ranked it as the 56th best game of all time

I was miffed EGM didn't give it the traditional review! — I was miffed EGM didn’t give it the traditional review!

I was even more miffed at this somewhat low score :P — I was *even more* miffed at this somewhat low score

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Bald Bull never looked better! — Mac and friends never looked better!

There will always be a special place in my gaming heart for this franchise as well as for Little Mac and all his crazy foes. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! was one of my favorites back in the late ’80s. So I couldn’t wait for the inevitable 16-bit “Super” treatment. It was a longer wait than any of us expected, but just like “make up presents” in early January it’s a classic case of better late than never. Nintendo was wise to mix in the new blood along with the return of some old familiar faces. Seeing Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman and Super Macho Man in 16 glorious bits was a welcomed sight and a tremendous fan service. The jump from NES to SNES made for a major visual upgrade. You can actually see the bulging muscles and watch the spit fly out of a guy’s mouth as you twist his head back with a well-timed uppercut. The visuals have a real arcade-like quality to them. Speaking of which, did you know there’s actually a 1984 arcade game of the same name? Navigating an older and bigger Mac through the boxing ranks presents a certain nostalgic charm, even if Nintendo did alter his look a bit. Best of all, Little Mac controls like an absolute dream. It’s crisp and super responsive. If you mess up, you know it’s on you and not the game.

HOW RUDE! Cover up when you sneeze next time, jeez! — *HOW RUDE!* Cover up the next time you sneeze. Jeez!

In addition to the three old faces, there are lots of new foes to scout and take out. You’ll have to learn all their techniques, such as Masked Muscle’s paralyzing purple shower. It all adds to the wacky fun. There’s just something special and sacred about a Punch-Out!! game. Maybe it’s the larger than life boxers. Maybe it’s the comic book-like zany brutality of it all. Maybe it’s figuring out the patterns and tendencies of each new competitor and then exploiting their weaknesses. Or maybe it’s simply a timeless classic from the golden days of retro gaming. I like to think it’s all of those things, along with, of course, the fact that I think all of us can relate to Little Mac in some form or fashion. We all love a good underdog story and I believe there’s a little Little Mac inside each of us. It’s David vs. Goliath, good vs. evil, you against all odds. There’s something simple and beautiful about that. And Super Punch-Out!! captures that feeling to a tee. Each opponent gets progressively tougher and nastier. By the time you reach the Bruiser twins you’ll feel like you’ve been through the trenches yourself!

A classic never goes out of style — *A true classic never goes out of style*

There are a few blemishes to note, though. Seeing a few more familiar faces would have been nice, especially Piston Honda. Many fans prefer the villain roster of the 8-bit original, claiming the 16-bit roster to be not quite as memorable. Fans have argued over the years about which they like better. The NES one is better overall I think, but there’s something to be said about the 16-bit treatment of Punch-Out!! that took the game to new heights graphically and really brought home an arcade-like quality. The SNES game eliminated the three round format (with breaks in-between where you get tips from Doc Louis) and instead features one round lasting three minutes. I do prefer how the SNES version tracks your knock-out punches (full meter vs. earning stars) and you had four different knock-out punches in Super Punch-Out!! as opposed to just one in the NES game. The Bruiser brothers are brutal but they’re definitely no Mike Tyson in terms of sheer difficulty. By the way, did I mention the awesome battery-backed capabilities of the SNES game, allowing you to store top scores and compete among friends? Oh, but did I mention the legend that is SODA POPINSKI? It’s like being forced to pick your favorite child. I love both games for different reasons. You simply cannot go wrong with either!

WERE BACK! — These childhood terrors have aged like a fine wine

All in all, Super Punch-Out!! is no doubt a Super Nintendo classic. It’s aged very well, too. I still love playing it even to this day. Whether you prefer the NES or SNES version, there’s no denying Super Punch-Out!! is a worthy sequel. Having more boxers, seeing ol’ Doc Louis and having some cutscenes would have been great, but I’m more than satisfied with what we got. This is one of those games I envision myself playing well into my twilight years when I’m as old as Hoy Quarlow himself, God willing. Boxing games rarely get better than this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got me a couple Bruiser bros to beat up…

Graphics: 9
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 8

Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

Finally beat both Bruisers after all these years!

MAC’S FINAL COMEBACK!

Somewhere in the Bronx, New York... — Somewhere in the Bronx, New York…

It was a cold and dark night in the Bronx. An old bulldog roamed the streets. If you looked close enough, you’d recognize him as Little Mac. Yes, that fabled boxing teen heart throb from the vaunted ’80s. Made a comeback in ’94 and then disappeared into obscurity. Mac is now in the second half of his life and on this night, something stirs deep within his core. A feeling he hasn’t felt in over 20 years…

The rumble in the basement... — The rumble in the basement…

The knees are feeling good. The joints are working. The back’s never felt better in years. Was it possible? Could it be? Could Mac return to the ring for one last shot at glory?

It felt like the calm before the storm. Mac’s old trainer, Doc Louis, couldn’t believe it. Mac didn’t tell Doc explicitly, but Doc knew. He had seen that look in Mac’s eyes before. The very same look that Mac had right before he knocked out the likes of Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman and yes, even the brutal Bruiser twins. The Mac man is hungry, and he wants one more fight. One more chance to shine under the bright lights and recapture a flicker from the past.

This place was once vibrant. Analogy... ? — This place was once vibrant, teeming with life

Mac and Doc got back in the car and drove around town. One by one, they stopped off at each of Mac’s old haunts. Mac peered inside the store as though he were peering down his very soul.

"You ready to go yet, Champ?" — *“You ready to go yet, Champ?”*

Then they headed over to the old pet shop on 4th Avenue. It was where Mac got his first pet fish. Poor Freddy. He only lived six weeks, as Mac recalls it.

Mac: *sniff*

Doc: Hey Mac, you crying?

Mac: Uh, no. No no.

Doc: Looks like tears to me, Mac.

Mac: C’mon Doc, you know I got allergies.

Doc: Of course.

Mac: Damnit Doc, look at this will ya? This is where I grew up. I remember my mom buying me a Nintendo and some boxing game back in 1987. Those were the good old days. Lot of memories here, Doc. You know they say if you live in a place long enough, you are that place…

Doc: I ain’t no talking building. Listen, enough yapping. I gotta get your old ass ready for the Sandman!

Mac: You know what to do. Time to take that ancient bike of yours out of storage.

"Man, its just like the old days, Doc!" — *“Man, it’s just like the old days, Doc!”*

Just like old times, indeed. Doc’s training regimen was legendary in the ’80s and ’90s. Tonight begins the comeback trail!

"Come on Mac, LETS SHOCK THE WORLD!" — *“Come on Mac, LET’S SHOCK THE WORLD!”*

Doc: Mac, I gotta be real here. You sure put on a lot of weight in the last 20+ years.

Mac: I’m not the only one who’s changed. You hardly look like the Doc Louis I knew! In fact, maybe it’s the dizziness from all this running talking but I swear you look yellow all of a sudden!

Doc: What?! You must be going blind in your old age.

Doc: Alright Mac, this is your night. You’ve put in the hours. You’ve dropped the weight. Whatever happens tonight, I want you to know, from one old ass fart to another, I’m proud of you for making it this far!

Mac: Come on, Doc. You should know me better than that. I ain’t satisfied making it this far. I didn’t come all this way to finish in second place. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will BEAT you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or NOBODY is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and THAT AIN’T YOU! YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT!

Doc: Um…

Mac: Whoa, sorry. I get my wires crossed from time to time, you know.

Doc: That one’s probably Nick Bruiser, 1994, Vegas. First round uppercut.

Mac: Don’t worry ’bout me Doc. I still got most of my mental facilities.

Doc: *mutters under breath* Faculties.

Mac: You said something Doc?

Doc: Uh, nope.

*EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYS*

Mac: Hey listen Doc! They playing my music. You know what that means.

Doc: I know what that means. This is your night. Mr. Sandman ain’t what he used to be. Hell, none of us are. But you’re better than him. Always was and always will be. Now you go out there and you leave it all out there in the ring!

Mac: Man, I love you too, Doc Brown.

Doc: *mutters under breath* Soda Popinski, 1987, Detroit, second round hook.

"LETS GO MAC! LETS GO MAC!" — *“WELCOME BACK! ***clap clap clap*** WELCOME BACK!”*

Though he’s been out of the spotlight for over 20 years now, Mac has adoring fans of all generations. Grandfathers have passed Mac’s legacy down to their fathers. And fathers to sons. After all this time, folks still fondly remember. And they’re not shy to show Mac the appreciation he’s due.

For one last time, with the good Doc Louis by his side, Mac made that long walk down the aisle with the capacity crowd chanting his name in ecstasy. The show of adoration sent chills up and down Mac’s spine. Even if he doesn’t win, this moment will forever live on.

Long time nemesis Mr. Sandman paces in the ring, awaiting Mac’s arrival. We haven’t seen Mr. Sandman in decades, either. He still looks good. It’s the rematch everyone’s talking about. Mac Man vs. Sandman — RING THE BELL!

"THANK YOU MAC! THANK YOU MAC! THANK YOU MAC!" — *“THANK YOU MAC! THANK YOU MAC! THANK YOU MAC!”*

At the end of a hard fought battle, busted and bruised, Mac took a moment to acknowledge his loyal legion of fans. It’s been one hell of a ride. We’ve witnessed here tonight two boxing legends go toe to toe one last time. The sport will never be the same again. As for who won, the fans did. The sport of boxing did. In an era where we push youth and quickly cast aside the old, this was a historic night where tradition was honored and appreciated. Good night everybody!

Street Fighter II Turbo (SNES)

**Pub & Dev: Capcom | August 1993 | 20 MEGS**

Street Fighter II jumpstarted a revolution, no doubt. Likewise, there is no doubt that Street Fighter II Turbo refined said revolution. Many would even argue perfected it. Allowing you to use the four boss characters, in addition to adding new special moves for most of the fighters and the all-important speed factor, Street Fighter II Turbo has cemented its place in video gaming lore. The hype surrounding the release back in the summer of 1993 was palpable and surreal. I remember my brother buying this game on launch day and nobody in my gaming group was disappointed one iota. Looking back, it’s easy to see it’s not a perfect conversion of the 1992 arcade smash hit, but man, back in those olden days it sure felt pretty damn close to perfect. You have to remember that home consoles back then weren’t close to being as strong as arcade cabs. It’s amazing what Capcom was able to translate to the little ol’ 16-bit SNES. My friends and I wasted so many hours on this one. Good times.

MAKING A COMEBACK

With the recent news of Nintendo releasing the SNES Classic Edition, Street Fighter II Turbo is once again being brought back into the public consciousness. It’s the only fighting game featured in the package and if you could only pick one then Nintendo made the right call. Let the nostalgia commence.

THE STREET FIGHTER PHENOMENON

Seeing this back in the summer of ’93 was every kid’s dream come true. All 12 Street Fighters available at the tip of your fingers. Same character selects with no codes. Finally, no more excuses. Survival of the strongest. Many scores were settled and many bruises ensued. Even better, Capcom was cool enough to include both Street Fighter II: Champion Edition and Turbo in one package. Champion Edition allows you to control the four boss characters and select the same fighters. Turbo upped the ante by giving most of the original cast a new special move and added a speed setting. Many consider Turbo to be the definitive version of Street Fighter II.

Beat the bosses, BE the bosses. Brilliant, Capcom

Arguably Capcom's finest hour on the SNES... — Arguably Capcom’s finest hour on the SNES…

I still vividly remember to this day my brother rushing out to buy this game. I stayed at home counting down the minutes. Seeing my brother come back home with the Holy Grail firmly in his grasp was a moment of sheer euphoria. Experiencing the game in our living room, in all its 20 MEG glory, showing off the power of the SNES, it was crazy to see how far video gaming had come since the days of the 8-bit NES. Never was a system more aptly named than the SUPER Nintendo.

THE STREET FIGHTERS

The face of the franchise, this straight edge no nonsense warrior is all about the fight and nothing else. Some may call him a little vanilla, but Ryu is as solid and consistent as a rock. He’s the Leonardo of the crew, and I guess every franchise needs that one leading cat, eh?

Ryu’s stage is simply classic. Battle for supremacy on top of a private roof. A nearby dojo looms hauntingly in the background. Sadly, the moon is missing but back in 1993 none of us really cared. We were way too busy appreciating what we had.

Straight up two of the most iconic special moves in all of fighting game history.

Hurricane Kick can now be performed in mid-air.

Of course he was born on Valentine's Day — Of course he was born on Valentine’s Day

Every main protagonist needs a rival. Enter Ken, a flashier version of Ryu. Naturally, he’s a bit temperamental and one cocky son of a gun. Ken is perfect for those who want to control someone with Ryu’s moveset but has a little edge to their character.

There's nothing like seeing this on a Saturday morning — A sight that once dominated my Sunday mornings

Ken’s stage has always been one of my favorites. Being the complete opposite of Ryu in terms of personality, Ken wants a crowd to witness and worship his skills. Nothing gets him going more than humiliating his opponent in front of a packed house, or boat as it were. A pair of barrels propped to the right will shatter upon impact, adding insult to injury.

Similar moveset to Ryu but Ken’s Dragon Punch travels a bit farther.

Homie needs to cover up his junk better... — Homie needs to cover up his junk better…

The residential sumo grand champion, Edmund Honda is determined to show the world that a sumo champ can also be the world’s greatest fighter. I never much cared for Honda back in the day but over the years have come to appreciate him more.

Prepare for a blood bath [HAR HAR -Ed.] — Prepare for a blood bath *[HAR HAR -Ed.]*

E. Honda’s stage is awesome. I love the combination of colors used and that background mural is so bizarrely memorable. The best thing about this stage is when the fight is over, the mural lights up and the mural man flashes a sign at you. It’s bonkers.

Edmund uses his thick head to devastating results. “OOP OINK!” He also has the fastest hands around, unleashing hell in the form of a hundred hand BITCH SLAP. It’s been upgraded; Honda can perform it while inching toward his opponent.

Honda’s new move serves as a bit of an anti-air special, followed by a diving ass attack. Assack, perhaps.

Now with a fireball in tow -- the KIKOKEN! — Now with a fireball in tow — the KIKOKEN!

Many people think of Chun Li as being the first lady of fighting games. Other people have, AHEM, other thoughts about her but it would be inappropriate to cite said thoughts. You know her story. She’s out to avenge the death of her father who fell at the vile hands of M. Bison. She got arguably the best new move in Turbo as well. A fireball! Hey, it was a big deal back then.

Is that guy choking his chicken watching her? — He’s watching Chun Li while choking his chicken

He’s really got no shame, the git. Chun Li’s stage is another classic that is burned into my soul. Duke it out in front of a busy marketplace complete with cyclists passing through. Should you emerge victorious, you can then partake in buying some dinner or even get a haircut. All in a day’s hard work!

#NEVERSKIPPEDLEGDAY.

Remember what a big deal people made back in the early ’90s that Chun Li now has a fireball of her own? And on a side note, her annoying infamous head stomp returns as well.

"Quit blocking my barbershop post!" — *“Quit blocking my barbershop post, Chunners!”*

One of my favorite Capcom creations of all time

Ah, the tragic tale of Jimmy. The little boy who descended to the depths of a Brazilian jungle during a plane crash, only to be mutated and raised by the wild savages of the jungle. All that produced the beast you now see… BLANKA!

The music, the locals snapping photos to prove the existence of the beast, the savages cheering on from inside the hut packed in like a can of sardines, the giant clouds scrolling lazily by in the background, the giant anaconda wrapped around that decaying tree… this stage tells such a rich story and is perfection personified.

Blanka’s electric shock fits him so well. That x-ray animation is legendary. His rolling attack has been improved — Blanka no longer takes double damage if he’s hit during the attack.

Blanka’s new trick is a vertical rolling attack. It doubles as an anti-air move and it can also nail opponents on the way down.

Don't mess with a guy who wrestles with bears — Don’t mess with a guy who wrestles with bears

If Chun Li is the first lady of fighting games, then surely Zangief is the first muscle maniac of the genre. It takes a very skilled player to use Zangief effectively. I love how he wrestles bears for a hobby, and his scar-laced body is proof that he is certifiably a turnbuckle shy of a wrestling ring!

Held in the heartland of the USSR, factory workers take a break from the work grind to witness their beloved Zangief crush yet another poor victim.

Similar to Honda’s Hundred Hand Slap, the Spinning Clothesline can now move. It’s cool how a small change can actually make a big difference. His new move is a crushing German Suplex that would make ECW’s Taz proud!

Spinning Pile Driver still the most devastating move in the game!

Guile was always the "cool rebel" to us kids — Guile was always the “cool rebel” to us kids

There’s something cool about a good old American badass. Guile fits that role to a tee. He doesn’t have a lot of special moves but he makes each one count. Forget about Charlie, Guile is where it’s at!

Nothing like sending your foe through a crate — We called the guy in the middle there Cyclops…

Street Fighter II has some of the best stages in fighting game history. Guile’s is yet another example of such. The music of this stage is stuck in my head to this day, and it never gets old throwing your opponent through the crates.

Hadoken set the bench mark for all projectiles to follow, but I’d argue that the Sonic Boom is almost just as memorable. Remember how the jab version was so slow that it allowed you to bash your opponent’s head in with a well-timed back fist? You can’t do that with the Hadoken, that’s for damn sure!

Champion Edition tweaked the Flash Kick to hit two times. I was never a fan of this change. Thankfully, it’s back to the classic one hit in the Turbo edition. I’ve always been a huge fan of Guile’s Flash Kick. To me it’s just as iconic as the Dragon Punch and it looks way cooler.

[Very funny, NOT -Stretch Armstrong] — *[Very funny… NOT -Stretch Armstrong]*

Forever a perennial favorite of mine, Dhalsim was the first Street Fighter character I ever used. He was also the one I used when I perfected my brother’s annoying cocky friend at a 7-11 circa 1991. He had no answer for Dhalsim’s long limbs and his hubris was his ultimate downfall. Dhalsim and I have shared a lifelong connection ever since.

Seeing this brings back so many memories of 7-11

Yet another haunting stage. The elegant blue rug, the elephant god mural and of course, who could forget the elephants trumpeting at the end of each battle?

Dhalsim had the very unique ability of being able to stretch his limbs. This great gimmick was often copied in other fighting games from other companies. Hey, he was a trailblazer!

Teleportation is Dhalsim’s new special skill. Check out how he uses this new power to confuse, daze and nail his opponent!

Known for his signature fiery antics, he can spew a small fireball (Yoga Fire) or blow a larger one that is more short ranged but hits for more damage (Yoga Flame). The “on fire” animation is, no pun intended, seared into the memories of anyone who ever ventured through an arcade hall in the early ’90s.

In Japan he was originally called M. Bison

The first of the four boss characters, Balrog has always been the least interesting to me. He was a sign of the times; Capcom drew inspiration from “Iron” Mike Tyson.

Fighting under the bright lights of Las Vegas, combatants duke it out as strippers, pimps and tourists cheer the carnage on. Epic background.

Balrog’s two special moves consist of rushing punch variations. In fact, he is the only fighter in the game to never use his feet. It takes a skilled player to use him effectively.

The first time I ever saw Vega I remember thinking how cool he was. Vega to me seemed like a combination of Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers. It wasn’t long before I realized he was nothing more than a masked narcissist with a claw. Just a pretty boy, and nothing at all like those terrifying monsters of my youth. Needless to say, I didn’t like him as much then!

Remember the 1991 rumors of knocking off his mask? — You can knock his claw off, but not his mask

Dropped in the middle of an underground fighting world at an undisclosed location somewhere in Spain, the steel cage protects the spectators from the sheer chaos. But really, it serves as a tool for Vega to scale when things get too hot and heavy…

Vega’s rolling attack can connect several times and inflict a good deal of damage.

Nimble as a cat, Vega takes to the cage when all else fails. From here he can either pierce you with his razor sharp claw or catch you in an devastating overhead throw.

One of my favorite Capcom characters of all time — How many Asians you know are 7’4″?

In the first Street Fighter tournament, reigning champion Sagat was dethroned by a young warrior named Ryu. Ryu’s Dragon Punch left an enormous scar on his chest and ever since then the Thailand terror has been training 24/7, waiting for the perfect moment to exact his revenge.

Brings back memories of Jet Li's SHAOLIN TEMPLE — The chest scar, the eye patch… what a character

A giant Buddha statue oversees the battle as combatants wrestle to the death in this beautiful and serene stage. The temples in the backdrop remind me of the old 1982 Jet Li film, Shaolin Temple.

Sagat’s two Tiger Shots hits either high or low. Switch the velocity to keep your opponent on their toes.

Sagat’s Tiger Knee connects on the ground for up to two devastating hits, and doubles as an anti-air attack to boot.

Needing to counter Ryu’s lethal Dragon Punch, the deadly Tiger Uppercut came to life. His chest scar is a daily reminder of the pain and humiliation he suffered in the first tournament. Seeking vengeance, Sagat believes his Tiger Uppercut will be the difference maker.

Remember how much we hated M. Bison as kids when he was in Street Fighter II? And remember how much we wanted to control him just so we could pull off his Psycho Crusher? Street Fighter II Turbo made our dreams come true.

The sky paints such an ominous backdrop. Towering golden statues decorate each side of the stage which you can send your opponent crashing through. A massive bell that looks like it came straight out of a Bob Ross water painting rests center stage.

Scissor Kick can hit up to two times, one high and one low. Tricky and deadly!

Jumping high, Bison plants both feet into your skull and then flies backwards to smash your temple in with his tyrannical fist. OUCH!

You felt so badass screaming across the screen!

BONUS STAGES

Who could ever forget the first time seeing the car bonus stage? It’s an iconic gaming sight, and one that still resonates more than 25 years later.

Bricks don't hit back — Bricks don’t hit back

Bonus stages were a fighting game staple of the '90s — Bonus stages became a staple for the genre

THE MAN IN THE MOUNTAIN

When we were kids my brother and I believed that was none other than Dhalsim on the front cover showing off his new teleportation special move. Fast forward some odd 15 years to 2008, I posted my memories about this on a message board and everyone there told me “No, it’s just Honda and Sagat on the cover.” I wasn’t so quick to buy in, though, as I assumed everyone thought back in the day the same thing that my brother and I did. The debate somehow summoned the original artist of the SNES Street Fighter II Turbo cover into the fold. He claimed that the strange bald figure seen on the cover is NOT Dhalsim. I asked him who was it then, but he never got back to me. The mural man doesn’t look a damn thing like the bald guy we see on the cover. Strange. I guess we’ll never know for sure. But I still stand by my original statement… to me it was clever Capcom showing off Dhalsim’s brand new special skill. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! #childhoodconvictions

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

1993 -- what a time for a gamer to be alive — 1993 — what a time for a gamer to be alive

Street Fighter II Turbo was a smash hit with the critics. It earned Game of the Month accolades with EGM, posting scores of 9, 9, 10 and 10. GameFan gave it ratings of 98, 98, 99 and 100%. Super Play rated it a whopping 96% — the highest score they ever dished out. This port is widely considered as one of the BEST arcade to home translations on the SNES. In terms of top 100 lists, Nintendo Power ranked it #10, EGM had it at #5 and Super Play placed it at #2.

Street Fighter II Turbo ranked high on many lists — *Street Fighter II Turbo* ranked high on many lists

WHAT YOU, THE READERS, SAID

Which SNES Street Fighter game got the most votes? — Which SNES *Street Fighter* game got the most votes?

More than a decade ago, way back in February 2007, on my old original RVGFanatic website I ran a survey asking my readers to vote for their favorite SNES Street Fighter game. You voiced your opinion loudly. Now, more than 10 years later, the final results are in. Come on, you didn’t think I would lose those figures, right? Don’t answer that. While obviously not conclusive — this is one small sample after all — it’s interesting to see nevertheless. 10% prefer the very first one while 39% voted for Super Street Fighter II. It was no shock that Street Fighter II Turbo won the poll with a stirring 51% of the votes. I love all the SNES Street Fighter games (yes, even 1996’s Street Fighter Alpha 2) but Street Figher II Turbo to me will forever be the king.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Street Fighter II Turbo forever holds a special place in my heart. It gave me and my gaming crew so many fond memories over the years. For my money, it is without a shadow of a doubt the best fighting game on the Super Nintendo. At the time it blew all of us away. And while it’s true that it isn’t a perfect conversion of the arcade (nobody expected it to be), it still made for the perfect SNES fighting game. Even though there have been arcade-perfect ports of Street Fighter II Turbo released on other systems over the years, I still find myself coming back to the SNES version and having a blast. Maybe I’m a little blinded by nostalgia but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t still hold up well nearly 25 years later.

No, it definitely doesn’t.

Graphics: 10
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 10

Overall: 10
PLATINUM AWARD

When you talk about Super Nintendo’s very finest, any discussion excluding Street Fighter II Turbo should automatically be null and void. It was a video gaming revolution — a special time we’re likely never to see again. I’m thankful I got to witness it first-hand.

Long live the memories — Long live the king

SNES Classic Edition

Yesterday news broke that Nintendo would indeed be releasing their SNES Classic Edition starting on September 29, 2017. Last year they released their NES Classic Edition for $60 and it was a smash hit. Rumors began swirling immediately that the SNES Classic Edition wouldn’t be far behind and sure enough, it’s almost here. For the low price of $80 here’s what you get:

HDMI support

SNES (super) mini

Two classic SNES controllers

21 classic SNES games preloaded into the system

Let’s take a closer look at all 21 games, in alphabetical order.

1. CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS

One of the most intense action-packed 2 player SNES games ever made. Contra III is classic run and gun mayhem. Best experienced with a friend in tow, there’s nothing like blasting alien scum to Kingdom Come as you navigate your way through some of the most memorable moments in 16-bit gaming.

2. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY

There were three DKC games released on the SNES, with many citing the second (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest) as their favorite. I actually prefer the first one. Call it nostalgia but it was fresh, mind blowing for its time and the difficulty was just right. A little on the easy side at times, but it cranked it up when it needed to. Mainly, I enjoyed using Donkey Kong in all his glory. Don’t forget those amazing tunes, either!

3. EARTHBOUND

Take The Wonder Years, Peanuts, Doug, The Goonies, Dragon Quest and put them all in a blender. You’d probably get something like EarthBound. Whimsical, unique and different, EarthBound is charming and captivating as hell. But there also lies some sneaky mature themes throughout, such as the loss of innocence in a corrupt world. A classic RPG any SNES fan should play through before all is said and done.

4. FINAL FANTASY III

Arguably the greatest 16-bit RPG ever made, Final Fantasy III is an epic adventure. It took me nearly 50 hours to beat back in 2008 when I experienced it for the first time, and I loved every second of it. Memorable characters, plot twists, haunting music… it has it all. It’s too bad the almost-just-as-good Final Fantasy II isn’t also included, though. But if you had to pick just one, they made the right choice here.

5. F-ZERO

It may seem a little outdated today, especially to F-Zero virgins, but this blew our minds back in 1991. It still holds up well, although it is a bit bare bones. Still a good choice. The music is awesome. You could say that for most of these games, quite frankly.

6. KIRBY’S DREAM COURSE

Of all the games featured on the SNES Classic Edition, this is the most surprising. I don’t say that disparagingly! Kirby’s Dream Course combines the best of Kirby and golf. It’s a blast to play and addicting as hell. Glad this made the cut. It doesn’t get the props it deserves. Now a larger audience will get to experience this for the first time. As well as SNES fans from the ’90s who somehow missed out on this back in the day. A definite dark horse candidate for “Game I Didn’t Expect To Sink So Many Hours On.”

7. KIRBY SUPER STAR

Rather than one grand adventure, Kirby Super Star is a compendium of nine standalone games. It’s vintage Kirby, and it’s loads of fun.

8. THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST

A no-brainer. One of the best SNES games ever, nay, one of the best video games of all time. A masterpiece in every sense, this adventure will forever remain timeless and quintessential. Who could ever forget the first time they saw that rain come whipping down?

9. MEGA MAN X

The best Mega Man game on the SNES. Never before could the Blue Bomber move around like he does here. The ability to scale walls, ride armored machines and even throw a Hadoken made Mega Man X one unforgettable journey.

10. SECRET OF MANA

The first ever 3-player action RPG, Secret of Mana was a marvel for its time. It’s a great game but one that I do feel is slightly overrated. Still, the ability to play it with two friends made it something special. It’ll be interesting to see if Nintendo releases a multitap for the SNES Classic Edition. 2-player Secret of Mana is still awesome but it’d be a shame not to be able to experience it as a 3-player affair. On a side note, I much prefer the Super Famicom-only sequel, Secret of Mana 2 AKA Seiken Densetsu 3.

11. STAR FOX

Star Fox was pretty amazing back in 1993. It’s a little rough around the edges today in 2017, but hopefully people will be able to overlook the dated visuals which were considered fairly groundbreaking for its time.

12. STAR FOX 2

The biggest news of this SNES Classic Edition is the inclusion of never before officially released Star Fox 2. This game was programmed back in the mid ’90s but never saw the light of day as the N64 was looming over the horizon. Of course the repro of this game has been available for many years now, but it’ll be nice to have an official release (especially HDMI-supported).

13. STREET FIGHTER II TURBO

Some people argue Super Street Fighter II is better, but I’ll take Street Fighter II Turbo. Street Fighter II created a revolution, but it was Turbo that refined it. For my money this is hands down the best fighting game on the SNES. So many sore thumbs and even more sore egos courtesy of this game back in 1993. Good times.

14. SUPER CASTLEVANIA IV

It’s a little slow and the visuals are a bit outdated by today’s standards, but this was the definitive Castlevania game for many folks prior to Symphony of the Night. Being able to swing Simon’s whip in all directions made controlling him a breeze and loads of fun. There’s a beautiful simplicity to this game. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy taking down Count Dracula?

15. SUPER GHOULS ‘N GHOSTS

Probably the hardest game of this list, Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts suffers from some slowdown but still provides one hell, pardon the pun, of a romp through some ghastly levels. I’m glad this game made the list. It’s a classic but often slightly overlooked in lieu of some bigger names such as Super Metroid and Contra III. Well deserved, Sir Arthur. Well deserved. You’ll terrorize a whole new generation of gamers. Congrats, good sir.

16. SUPER MARIO KART

The Mario Kart franchise is one of the most beloved of all time. It’s so good that it attracts even the most casual of gamers. There’s something very likable about the characters from the Mario universe, the various weapons and imaginative course designs that constantly bring people back for more and more. This is where it all started — it’s the granddaddy of all Mario Kart games. Still playable after all these years!

17. SUPER MARIO RPG: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN STARS

Mario in an RPG? Nuts. Bowser as a playable good guy? Even more nuts. Yet it all works, to no one’s surprise. Super Mario RPG brings timing to the RPG party as well as some wacky, lovable characters. A good time for sure.

18. SUPER MARIO WORLD

Released on the Super Famicom’s Launch Day of November 21, 1990, Super Mario World is still as playable today as it was nearly 30 years ago. Shigeru Miyamoto knows how to make a damn good video game, and his fingerprints are all over this one. Great visuals, amazing music and smooth gameplay. Can’t ask for much more.

19. SUPER METROID

If there were a Super Nintendo Mount Rushmore, anyone who doesn’t include Super Metroid automatically has their list disqualified. You just can’t talk about the very best SNES games without mentioning this 24 MEG GEM. Adventure, atmosphere, gun slinging, exploration, Super Metroid has it all. And that is all.

20. SUPER PUNCH-OUT!!

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! was one of the best NES games ever made. Its sequel, Super Punch-Out!!, is also an excellent arcade-like take on the sport of boxing. It’s all about patterns, timing, memorization and execution. While the new boxers here may lack the personality of the NES game, it’s still one of my favorites and I’m happy to see it made the list.

21. YOSHI’S ISLAND

Aside from baby Mario’s incredibly annoying crying whenever he’s dismounted, Yoshi’s Island is a daring and brilliant deviation from the standard Mario game formula. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I find it equally as splendid as Super Mario World — just in slightly different ways.

TOP NINE SNUBS

The NES Classic Edition had 30 games, but the SNES Classic Edition only carries 21. However, the 21 games here are obviously much lengthier than the ones found on the NES edition. While the 21 games represented are great choices, there are a few glaring omissions. Whether due to licensing or whatever, here are nine great SNES games (in alphabetical order) that are conspicuous by their absence.

Oh, and before we begin, I will refrain from including the following two titles due to the simple fact that it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any sort of multitap with the SNES Classic Edition. While both these games are still great as 2-player games, the real magic comes with a room of 4.

1. ACTRAISER

An early first generation title and a classic one at that. ActRaiser switches seamlessly between side-scrolling levels of good old hack and slash platforming and a simulation mode where you must help build the land and protect the people. It’s a little simplistic but it didn’t need to be complex.

2. CHRONO TRIGGER

Perhaps the most glaring omission of all, some believe Chrono Trigger to be the best SNES game ever created. Quite a loss, then, not to have one of the very best titles ever made in 16-bit history. Although I do understand at least a little bit since Nintendo already packed in three RPGs. Still, it’s tough losing out on this one.

3. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY 2: DIDDY’S KONG QUEST

Although I prefer the original Donkey Kong Country, I’ll concede that this does play slightly better. If you had Yoshi’s Island to go along with Super Mario World, you probably should have added this as well. Alas, poor Diddy and newcomer Dixie Kong are left hanging… [HAR HAR -Ed.]

4. THE LEGEND OF THE MYSTICAL NINJA

Another classic 2-player SNES game from the system’s early days. Perhaps this was a little too offbeat for Nintendo to include for the mainstream, however. If that is the case, that’s a shame because the gameplay shines through and speaks for itself. Note: This game is included in the Super Famicom Classic Edition as Ganbare Goemon.

5. POCKY & ROCKY

Hard as nails, but also super fun with a friend right alongside ya! It’s too bad this got snuffed… it would have exposed Pocky & Rocky to a brand new generation of gamers.

6. SUNSET RIDERS

Vintage glorious 2-player gun slinging action. ‘Nuff said.

7. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES IV: TURTLES IN TIME

Next to Chrono Trigger, this is the biggest glaring omission. Not to mention it would have been the only beat ‘em up on the SNES Classic Edition. That makes its absence all the more egregious. No beat ‘em ups represented?! That’s a crime! But I totally understand it might have been a licensing issue and Nintendo simply not wanting to pay the extra cost for the Ninja Turtles brand. Whatever the case may be, it’s a shame. This defined many of our 16-bit childhoods and is arguably the finest beat ‘em up on the SNES.

8. TETRIS ATTACK

No puzzle games are represented either, and Tetris Attack is the best as far as I’m concerned. This inclusion would have provided endless hours of cutthroat competitive play, and it saddens me that it didn’t make the cut. Well, at least for the American release. The Super Famicom Classic Edition does include this game but under its Japanese title of Panel de Pon.

9. ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS

Come on, Nintendo. This is another classic childhood game for many of us who grew up in the early ’90s. Every kid played this game to death that holiday season of 1993. Sure, it may be a little overrated but it’s freaking ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS! Nintendo, you could have even tweaked it to make it better. Think about an easier difficulty setting, a strafe button, etc. A missed opportunity any way you slice it.

10. KEN GRIFFEY JR. PRESENTS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

This is my honorable mention. I love this game and it was also published by Nintendo. I see why it wasn’t included, though. Fake player names, outdated rosters and so forth. But damn is this game fun. Many people, even non baseball fans, still play it to this very day. It would also have been the only sports title featured in the package.

SUPER FAMICOM CLASSIC EDITION

In Japan, the system will include Panel de Pon (Tetris Attack), Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem, Ganbare Goemon: The Legend of the Mystical Ninja, Super Soccer, and Super Street Fighter II. These titles replace EarthBound, Kirby’s Dream Course, Street Fighter II Turbo, Super Castlevania IV, and Super Punch-Out!! from the US model.

Super Punch-Out!! was never released in Japan. Strange but true. I guess they’re keeping true to form 20+ years later…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

For $80 this is an insane bargain. Having 21 classic SNES titles, with HDMI support, in one tiny system is greatly appealing particularly to those who don’t already own these classics. You’re talking less than $4 a game, and that’s not including the system. Sadly, the NES Classic Edition suffered from lack of production and over demand, causing scalpers to swoop in and take advantage. Preorders for the SNES Classic Edition are going fast and resellers are everywhere posed to capitalize. $300 markups would be a safe bet. Of course, when you consider some of these games sell TODAY for close to $300 individually, $300 might still seem like a good deal for 21 games. And it is, at less than $15 a game. But it would be a shame to pay $300 for something that is retailing for just $80. As always, it’s a call only the individual can make. I already own all these games so I’d pass if the asking price is $300, but at $80 I would probably bite. But what are the odds I’ll be able to find one for $80? Probably not high.

But on a more happy note, I’m just ecstatic that my favorite console, the Super Nintendo, is back in the mainstream spotlight. I expect a ton of nostalgia to overcome young adults in their 30s who see this package and go “Oh wow, I haven’t played these games in 20, 25 years!” It just makes me happy knowing the SNES will once again bask in the glow of the spotlight. Nintendo plans to stop production of these Classic Editions at the end of 2017, so the spotlight will be short-lived, but it’s nice knowing come September a lot of casual people will be buying a Super Nintendo in 20-freaking-17. And who knows, it may lead to something bigger. At the very least, exposure never hurts and it thrills me that younger generations of gamers will have a chance to play and appreciate these classics. That’s a definite win in my book!

EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Speaking of SNES comebacks... — Speaking of SNES comebacks…

By the way, it recently came to my attention that BS Shockman is getting an official Super Famicom release June of 2017! Wow! The SNES scene is booming right now in a way we haven’t seen in a long time. BS Shockman is also known as BS Kaizou Choujin Shubibinman Zero. Check out my review for more info.

Rock on, SNES. Rock the f*ck on.

Super Baseball 2020 (SNES)

***Pub: Tradewest | Dev: Monolith | July 1993 | 12 MEGS***

Super Baseball 2020 was originally released in the arcades back in late 1991 as part of the Neo Geo lineup. It was later ported to the SNES in the summer of 1993. It’s crazy that we’re only two and a half years away from 2020! When I first saw the arcade cab in ’91 I remember thinking to myself that 2020 would never get here. Indeed, at the time it was nearly 30 years away. 30 years to a kid is an eternity. Yet here we are. On the brink of 2020. That blows my mind. Looks like we won’t have super robots playing baseball a couple years from now, though. But hey, you can always simulate that with Super Baseball 2020!

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2020

HE HITS IT HIIIIGH... — ***HE HITS IT HIIIIGH…***

... HITS IT DEEEEEEP... — ***… HITS IT DEEEEEEP…***

... OUTTA HERE!!! — ***… OUTTA HERE!!!***

Gotta have giant scrolling letters. It was the 16-bit era! — Gotta have giant scrolling letters in the 16-bit era

FAIR OR FOUL?

Baseball rules and regulations have drastically changed by the year 2020. Now the emphasis is on a larger fair playing field, making action quicker and more exciting. The foul zone’s been reduced to strictly behind the catcher. As a result, one can score hits all over the field!

SHOW ME THE MONEY

Upgrade your robotic players to super soldiers of destruction. Money is earned based on positive plays. Similarly, money is lost on negative plays. Adds a bit of depth and strategy to the old baseball formula.

Super Baseball 2020, sponsored by Pete Rose — *Super Baseball 2020*, sponsored by Pete Rose

SPECIAL CUTSCENES

Exceptional outs are highlighted by cutscenes, just like in the arcade!

Check out the timing on this one. The ball should sail off those fancy blue glass plates for a single or double, but alas…

“DAMNIT UMP, I WAS SAFE!”

“DAMNIT UMP, HE WAS OUT!”

WHAT THE PROS WEAR IN 2020

NEO-TITANIUM ALLOY BAT FTW! — NEO-TITANIUM ALLOY BAT FTW

Leap over 20 feet into the air to rob would be HRs — Leap over 20 feet in the air to rob home runs

KICK SOME GLASS

One of the best things about this game is no doubt those futuristic looking blue glass plates that cover the audience. More than cosmetic, balls that are hit on the glass plates are considered in play! This leads to what I like to call “Wall Ball.” Nothing beats smacking a ball so hard that it rolls down several planes of glass, allowing you to stretch singles into doubles or even triples!

Balls to the wall fun... [You're fired -Ed.] — Balls to the wall fun… *[You’re fired -Ed.]*

Wall Ball is a hoot. It’s even better when you have runners on base. Balls hammered to the far reaches of the stadium bounce slowly off the glass as your men round the bases.

They remind me of Lego's blue plates... — They remind me of Lego’s blue plates…

Who didn’t love Lego back in the day? In addition to the huge bases and fortresses you could lose yourself in for hours on end, I was always fascinated by the color glass plates. Playing Super Baseball 2020 takes me back to those innocent childhood days playing with my favorite Lego sets. One of my favorites was the Metro PD Station. The glass windows resemble those of Super Baseball 2020 so much.

WHAT’S THE PASSWORD?

"OOH YEEEEAH! DIG IT!" — *“OOH YEEEEAH! DIG IT!”*

The password feature is a bummer. Baseball games of this era mostly used a battery backup memory. Thankfully, seasons are only 15 games long. It makes the password tracking a bit more bearable. Also, the 12 character passwords aren’t the worst in the world. Not ideal, but not a deal breaker.

THE TEAMS

Ninja Black Sox? Best baseball team name ever

Lowest team in terms of total points: Aussie Battlers (20). Highest team in terms of total points: Taiwan Mega Powers and Tropical Girls (29). The Tropical Girls and the Battle Angels are the two all-female teams. I love that each team has its own pros and cons.

PLAY BALL!

Overwork your players and robots will falter and break down. Once they explode, they become extremely ineffective. As soon as they show signs of wearing down, you’d do well to replace them.

Well that an easy decision to go with Lu... — Well that was an easy decision to go with Lu…

Tonight's exciting match-up — Tonight’s exciting match-up

All games in the year 2020 are played exclusively in the Cyber Egg Stadium. Gone are unique team stadiums and home field advantage. It’s a bit of a shame but the Cyber Egg Stadium is so cool that it almost makes you forget about there being only one ballpark to play in. Almost.

Looks fairly close to the Neo Geo original

It's HIGH... but FOUL! — It’s HIGH… but FOUL!

"It's at the 10... the 20... it could... GO ALL THE WAY!" — *“It’s at the 10… the 20… it could… GO ALL THE WAY!”*

Apparently, even in the year 2020 some things never change. Seems like in the off-season the Cyber Egg Stadium also acts as a football stadium. Oakland A’s and Oakland Raiders, I’m looking at you.

Home runs only count when hit to dead center

HURRY, get in position! Now jump! *CLUNK* D’OH!

Trash talking while all this is going on is half the fun! — Trash talkin’ while all this is going on is half the fun!

Replace your pitcher, fielders, base runners or hitter with a robot off the bench, or upgrade if you have the cash.

Be a shame to ruin its brand new shiny exterior…

REVENGE OF THE BOTS V: BALLS TO THE WALLS

Check out how long this ball will roll for... — Check out how long this ball will roll for…

Not stopping for the first row... — Not stopping for the first row…

... nor the third row... — … nor the third row…

This unique feature alone makes this a blast to play — Get those Pokemon Ball looking runners home!

After being crushed way to the top of the upper deck, it finally lands somewhere on the 8th glass plane and begins to bounce off several on the way down. Meanwhile the runners are circling the bases like mad ants and the opposition can’t do a DAMN thing about it but wait and curse. This unique feature alone makes Super Baseball 2020 a blast to play with a friend.

It cannot be overstated how much fun comes from the trash talking that ensues in moments such as this. My brother and I had a riot taunting each other while playing this game. Having only one stadium for all 12 teams is a bit of a bummer but like I said, when the one stadium is as cool as the Cyber Egg Stadium, it’s a lot easier to overlook.

Another unique aspect: STOP signs in the field — It could help or hurt you. It all depends…

Instead of the typical 7th inning stretch, in the year 2020 the 7th inning means only one thing: the WILD CARD INNING. This is where both teams receive a major boost of added power. Because you know, baseball and steroids have never been linked together before. Things tend to get a little nutty in the 7th…

Fireworks down 9-2? You're better than that... — Fireworks down 9-2? You’re better than that…

MEGA POWERS WIN IT ALL

I played a 15 game season with the Mega Powers and was neck and neck with the all-female team, the Battle Angels. The most epic game of the season came in Game #13 which saw my Mega Powers (10-2) going up against the Battle Angels (10-2). I was up 6-4 going to the bottom of the 9th, but the Angels scratched back to tie it at 6 a piece. I ended up surviving a barn burner 7-6 after 13 innings and five (!) dead robots. It was one of those epic games you never forget. I finished the season 13-2 and went on to defeat the special team in the Championship game.

THE FUTURE ISN’T ALWAYS BETTER

No tagging back. If you attempt to advance on an outfield out, there’s no turning back. I guess the robots were programmed with this flaw and no one caught it during quality assurance.

No way to change the batting order or fielders.

Zero individual stat tracking.

You can’t run to the next base until the other runner passes it. This becomes glaringly annoying when you have a fast robot trailing a pair of robots that would make Bernie Sanders look like Deion Sanders.

Fielding is about 75% automatic. The other 25% of the time it’s not as smooth and well executed as the baseball game that set the standard for defensive fielding, Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

The SNES port of Super Baseball 2020 was well received for the most part. GameFan gave it ratings of 70, 76, 80 and 82%. Super Play rated it 85%. The SNES port did an admirable job replicating what made the arcade game such a fan favorite. Appealing even to non baseball fans, Super Baseball 2020 brings a refreshing new take on America’s favorite pastime.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

One of the best Neo Geo to SNES conversions out there — I love me some good old 16-bit baseball!

It was quite the thrill seeing this childhood favorite of mine at a retro gaming store back in 2006. Seeing Super Baseball 2020 in the wild brought back a flood of fond memories of playing the Neo Geo cab at Safeway as well as renting the SNES port. Being that the game takes place in the year 2020, there’s a neat little futuristic feel to the whole game. This includes the robotic players, the sleek looking blue glass planes that cover the entire Cyber Egg Stadium, and the interesting financial aspects that bring a new dimension of strategy and know-how to the old baseball formula. Put together, it all works rather well. I can’t stress how fun it is to play this game against a like-minded friend or sibling. OK so there are only 12 teams, only one stadium and too many players look alike, but the fun factor covers a multitude of sins.

"WHAT CHU LOOKING AT?!" — *“WHAT CHU LOOKING AT?!”*

Is it the pinnacle of baseball games? No. It’s certainly not without its flaws (as noted earlier), but you simply won’t find another baseball title like this on your 16-bit Super Nintendo. Any time a game can put itself in a “special class” of its own and is fun to play, that game is going to earn bonus points with me. Nothing beats hitting those scorching wall ball hits. The best ones are the rare hits where the ball doesn’t bounce but roll slowly down the glass planes. These hits can lead to inside the park home runs but are extremely rare, which makes it all the more satisfying when it does happen. Aside from the missing bombs, speech samples and some frames of animation, this is a faithful translation of the arcade smash hit. The graphics are big and colorful. There’s a certain solid simplicity to the visuals. The sound is nothing to write home about, but not anything I hated. This is just a fun little baseball game. It doesn’t come close to touching the epochal Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball, but for a decent alternative with a neat futuristic ambiance and quirks you just won’t find elsewhere, Super Baseball 2020 smashes a solid double in the bottom of the 9th.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 8

Overall: 7.5
Bronze Award