Top 20 Most Wanted Arcade SNES Ports

Credit BlueMario1016 for this artwork
Credit BlueMario1016 for this artwork

This past November the Super Famicom (SNES as it’s known over in Japan) turned 30 years old. But on the North American side, it was on this day 30 years ago (August 23, 1991) that the Super Nintendo made its debut. Naturally, you’re going to see a lot of tribute pieces and articles praising the system’s amazing library of games, as well as plenty of retrospectives sure to bring a virtual nostalgic tear to your eye. Heck, you might even see some Top 30 or Top 100 lists floating around in celebration of the big 3-0. But I’m going to do something a little different. As great as the SNES has been these past 30 years, I can think of more than a few games that never made it to the SNES that would have made the console even stronger had they been. Specifically, I’m talking about 20 arcade ports the SNES should have received but, for one reason or another, never did.

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Arcade gaming in the ’90s was a magical thing to experience as a young kid. There was something intoxicating about being in the thick of an arcade hall, with the flickering lights and glowing screens all vying for your quarters, iconic gaming sound effects galore blasting your ears, the alluring aroma of a cheese pizza wafting through the air. It was a social playground and THE place to be on Friday nights and weekends. All you needed were a few friends and a few quarters and you had a one way ticket to gaming nirvana.

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But it was impossible for all my favorite arcade games of my youth to make the home leap. For many, it was like two ships passing in the night. Never meant to be, never saw the light of day. However you want to put it, these ill-fated arcade greats never made their way home to a Super Nintendo. But first, let’s examine the thrill of arcade to home ports back in the early-mid ’90s…

THE MAGIC OF 16-BIT ARCADE PORTS

Super Street Fighter II was an amazing port
Super Street Fighter II was an amazing port

One of the best aspects about growing up as a gamer during the early-mid ’90s was hyping yourself up about all the arcade ports that companies would develop for the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo. Playing the arcade game, loving it, dreaming about a Genesis or SNES port, then reading a few pages (sometimes less) about said port in EGM or GameFan Magazine (or both), and letting your imagination run wild as you studied the small grainy screenshots 20 times over. Rinse and repeat. It was a tried and true formula of that era! You knew both systems lacked the horsepower to replicate an arcade-perfect translation, but you were ecstatic if the home port captured the essence and spirit of its arcade counterpart. And sometimes, there was just enough magic out there in the moonlight for that to ring true.

Nic, most of us are right there with ya...
Nic, most of us are right there with ya!

The gaming world changed when Capcom unleashed Street Fighter II on the SNES in the summer of 1992. Capcom blew everyone’s minds by how well the home port looked, sounded and played. Sure it wasn’t arcade perfect, but it was more than good enough. It was, for its time, phenomenal. It truly felt like a piece of the arcade game was right there in your very own living room.

You didnt need quarters at home ;)
No quarters at home needed ;)

As a kid I remember telling my best friend Nelson, “Man, a quarter per play? If we play the home port of so and so at least 240 times, we’ll match the value of what my mom paid, and eventually get more than her money’s worth!” Because SNES games cost around $60 and 240 multiplied by 25 cents is $60. Ah, the innocence of youth…

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Arcade ports on the SNES, especially those of arcade fighting games during that Golden Age of 2D fighters, became all the rage in the early-mid ’90s. Gamers couldn’t get enough and wanted more and more. If you played a game in the arcade circa 1992 or ’93, chances were that a 16-bit home port was inevitable the following year.

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But that wasn’t always the case. There were many awesome arcade games that never saw a Super Nintendo conversion, for one reason or another. Here are my top 20 arcade games that sadly never saw the light of day on the Super Nintendo.

HONORABLE MENTION: TIME KILLERS

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What would a list be without an honorable mention? I’ll keep it to just one this time, however. Time Killers, admittedly, wasn’t a good game even in its original arcade form. I’m not citing it for its quality of play. This is based upon pure curiosity and nostalgia.

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Released in November of 1992, Time Killers is a weapons-based fighting game with buckets of blood for days. Players can aim specific body parts and cut them off. It didn’t play very well but it was like a 9 year old boy’s perverse dream come to life.

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Almost every fighting game back then had your prototypical Ryu clone, but Rancid was in a class of his own. A punk rocker type wielding a chainsaw. Yeah, he was my guy whenever I plopped a quarter into this vile game.

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A Sega Genesis port was planned but scrapped. Then in 1996, for some inexplicable reason when the Genesis was on life support, Time Killers finally came out. It received overwhelmingly negative reviews (EGM gave it scores of 5, 3, 3 and 3). As bad as the Genesis home port was, part of me still wanted to see a Super Nintendo conversion.

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James Severin from Michigan City did as well!

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According to this response, it appears as though there MIGHT have been plans for a Super Nintendo release but alas, it was never meant to be.

I suppose the world shall never know
The world shall never know… [Thank God -Ed.]

#20: THREE WONDERS

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Released in May of 1991, Three Wonders features, not shockingly, 3 games in 1. The winner of the lot is easily Midnight Wanderers. It’s so good that it could have been a standalone game.

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Midnight Wanderers is one of Capcom’s best lesser known games for my money! There was a Sega Saturn version of Three Wonders released, but only in Japan. Still, I would totally have loved this on the SNES!

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The same protagonists return for a shooting game in the vein of Gradius. Chariot is fine but nothing special.

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The third and final game in the package is a puzzle game by the name of Don’t Pull. It’s definitely NOT Don’t Play as it is perfectly playable and entertaining, but much like Chariot it’s nothing particularly memorable. Three Wonders didn’t make this list for the last two games. Consider those two as the appetizers and the main course being Midnight Wanderers (which has got to be one of the most underrated badass video game titles of all time).

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Speaking of never seeing the light of day, Nightmare Busters was clearly inspired by Midnight Wanderers. Sadly, its planned SNES release was canned and even sadder, it’s an incredibly disappointing game. Although never officially released, there are ways to experience this game. You can if you want out of wild curiosity, but I was crushed by the broken mechanics of this game.

#19: SHOGUN WARRIORS

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One of the earliest arcade games I can recall playing, Shogun Warriors is a massively nostalgic game for me. It features 8 generic characters who don’t even have proper names! They simply go by Geisha, Samurai, Ninja, Sumo and so on. I love the game’s exotic Japanese atmosphere. I was obsessed with Kappa, the green turtle-like creature who could stretch his limbs like Dhalsim and hurtle himself into a rolling attack like Blanka.

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Developed by Kaneko and released in April of 1992, Shogun Warriors was one of the earlier Street Fighter II clones to hit the market. And it plays exactly like how you would expect a fighting game from early 1992 to play. 8 characters, all with 2-3 special moves each, bonus rounds and 4 bosses to battle. There’s a certain charm to how simple this game was. It certainly was inferior to Street Fighter II but I always appreciated the underdogs and had a good time whenever Shogun Warriors and I linked up.

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I remember hoping that I would be able to play this game on my SNES either by Christmas of ’92 or spring of ’93 by the latest. Sadly, as is the case for every game on this list, that wasn’t meant to be. And unlike some of the other games on this list, there’s absolutely no question the SNES could have handled a very spot-on port of this arcade game.

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Instead, Kaneko gave us Power Moves on the SNES in early 1993. It was bleh. Should have given us Shogun Warriors! But I digress…

#18: MARTIAL CHAMPION

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For years Capcom and Konami battled it out for supremacy. Both companies were wildly beloved, produced seemingly an equal amount of fan favorites and were often cited as the top two developers in the industry. Konami dipped its fingers in the fight game with the release of Martial Champion in early 1993.

That US artwork... wow. Lets move on
That US artwork… wow. Let’s move on

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The year was 1993. Every week it seemed as though a new fighting game came out. It was the very height of the 2D fighting game boom. Martial Champion was one of my guilty pleasure favorites that year. I say guilty pleasure because deep down I knew it wasn’t the best. It was decent, but nothing special. I really dug how huge the fighters were, though. And the bright vibrant visuals were always catchy whenever I walked by the arcade cab. I just think it would have made for a fun SNES home conversion. But Konami clearly had other plans.

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I was all about Titi — I know that sounded funny but how can you NOT love a Chinese hopping vampire?! Honestly, I wanted a home port just so I can play as him.

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Never seen a hopping vampire movie before? You’re missing out! I highly recommend Mr. Vampire (1985). It’s essentially the one that started it all, and has never been outclassed. To me it’s the Halloween (1978) of hopping vampire films.

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A home port of Martial Champion was released, but only for the PC Engine. It looked drastically different from the arcade game. I like to believe a Super Nintendo port would have been more faithful.

Hmmm, why does this feel like déjà vu?
Hmmm, why does this feel like déjà vu?
Ah ha!
Ah ha!

Instead of working on a port of Martial Champion, Konami gave SNES fans Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters. That game rocked, but I still wish we got Martial Champion as well. But if I had to pick one, Konami made the right call for sure.

Made the loss of Martial Champion more palatable
Made the loss of Martial Champion more palatable

#17: WORLD HEROES 2 JET

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For a long time, if you’d asked me for my all-time favorite gaming franchise, my answer would have been World Heroes. Both SNES ports of World Heroes and World Heroes 2 were top-notch. So when World Heroes 2 Jet hit the arcade scene in April of 1994, I figured I would be playing it on SNES at some point in ’95. Nope!

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Yes, I’d argue it was the sleeper hit of 1994. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who felt that way, as seen above. But despite the positive reviews and desire for a Super Nintendo translation, it never materialized. Possibly it was because it would have been released a little too late in the system’s life span — the 32-bit “next gen” consoles were fast on the move by 1995. The other reason could be perhaps sales of World Heroes 2 on the SNES indicated diminishing returns.

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It’s a shame it never came out because Jet introduced faster gameplay (hence the name), 2 new playable characters (Jack and Ryofu) and brand new special moves for certain fighters. Janne for example now has a stunning phoenix attack. Jack, by the way, was based off the infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper.

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For fans of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Ryofu was based off legendary warlord, Lu Bu.

Fuumas new explosive attack fits his personality
Fuuma’s new explosive attack fits his personality
Brokens electric attack now can extend
Brocken’s electric attack can now extend
Who doesnt want to play as Hulk Hogan?
Who doesn’t want to play as Hulk Hogan?

World Heroes will forever hold a special place in my gaming heart. Oh, and oddly enough, there WAS a port of World Heroes 2 Jet… on the Game Boy of all systems!

Its actually pretty damn impressive
It’s actually pretty damn impressive

The fighters have adopted a cute chibi look. Surprisingly, all 16 characters remain intact. For a Game Boy port, it plays amazingly well. It makes me only wonder even more how great a Super Nintendo port would have been. But hey… technically… you can hook this game up to a Super Game Boy and play World Heroes 2 Jet on a Super Nintendo. Fact: I have done that before and it is quite a damn good fighting game. I just wish it received the full 16-bit SNES treatment!

#16: TOP HUNTER

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A delightful 2 player romp, Top Hunter is unique among its peers for a few reasons. The first being that you can execute special moves with Street Fighter II-esque commands. There are also super special moves because it was 1994 and why not? Another cool feature is the ability to switch between the foreground and background. These aspects added some depth to what would have otherwise been another side-scrolling co-op action platformer. Oh, and some of those bosses are crazy!

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The SNES has its fair share of fun co-op games; Top Hunter would have fit in beautifully. The graphics are quite detailed so there definitely would have been a dip there. But I like to think the SNES could have handled some version of this game in a satisfying manner.

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It did come out in the summer of 1994 though, and that period seems to be a cut-off point for the SNES. By virtue of the fact that by the time a port of a mid ’94 arcade game is ready for release on the SNES, it’d be spring or even summer of 1995. By then the 32-bit monsters were already gnawing at the door. Perhaps developers and publishers alike knew it did not make sense from a cost-effective perspective.

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Whatever the reason may be, I think we can all agree Top Hunter would have been a welcome addition to the Super Nintendo’s amazing library!

#15: BUCKY O’HARE

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As a kid growing up during the peak of Saturday morning cartoons, I was lucky to witness many fantastic shows. From Transformers to ThunderCats, I gobbled them all up like a sugary bowl of frosted cereal. There were many lesser known and underrated cartoons that flew under the radar, however. In late 1991, I was introduced to Bucky O’Hare. Based off a comic series in the mid ’80s, I fell in love with the quirky characters and space-based battles. Not surprisingly, like many cartoons during that time, someone snatched the right to make a video game out of it.

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Even better, that company was Konami. In such reliable hands, Bucky O’Hare was a terrific 4 player shoot ‘em up that would have been great on the SNES, even as a 2 player game. But, we all know how that turned out…

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Curiously, Konami did release a Bucky O’Hare game on the 8-bit NES in early 1992. It’s often cited as one of the system’s best “hidden gems.” While I’m happy Konami gave us that stellar game, I’m also a bit saddened that they never made a Super Nintendo version of any kind. Bummer indeed!

#14: WILD WEST C.O.W.-BOYS OF MOO MESA

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They say the only things certain in life are death and taxes. Add to that Konami making badass games out of cartoon IPs during the early ’90s. The cartoon series made its debut in September of 1992; the arcade game came out only 2 months later. I remember watching the cartoon. It was one of those shows I always wanted to like more than what I actually did. The arcade game, on the other hand, did not disappoint whatsoever.

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With up to 4 player simultaneous mayhem, Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa was a rollicking good time. It plays similarly to Konami’s other run and gun, Sunset Riders. Some people even see this as sort of a spiritual successor. Alls I know is it’s yet another stellar Konami game from the early 1990s. What else is new?

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The fact that Sunset Riders (September ’91) received a SNES port (October ’93) and a DAMN GOOD one at that… makes this omission a harder pill to swallow. But it makes sense when you factor in that the show went off the air in late ’93, and a port would have been released no earlier than ’94. Unless it’s a super popular IP, such things can have a short shelf life with only a small window to capitalize.

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“This town ain’t big enough for both of us,” the old saying goes. That rang true as only Sunset Riders saw a SNES home port. Forced to pick one, I can’t argue with Konami. I just wish there was room for both.

#13: BASEBALL STARS II

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One of the most beloved baseball games of all time, Baseball Stars II is loads of fun. Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball is my favorite baseball game of all time, but Baseball Stars II gives Griffey a run for its money.

We loved the 8-bit NES version as kids
My brother and I loved the 8-bit NES version

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We could only imagine how awesome a 16-bit port would have been. Sadly, that was a swing and miss… [I see what you did there -Ed.]

#12: CADILLACS AND DINOSAURS

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In the early ’90s Capcom could seemingly do no wrong. That continued with Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, a wild beat ‘em up that, much like the name suggests, affords you the opportunity to drive fancy Cadillacs and beat up agitated dinosaurs. It was simple and so, SO ’90s. It was perfect.

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Capcom converted many of their early ’90s beat ‘em ups to the SNES. Games such as Final Fight, Knights of the Round, The King of Dragons and Captain Commando all received ports that ranged from pretty good to very good. Major bummer that this wasn’t one of them!

#11: CYBER-LIP

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There are few things I enjoy more than some classic run and gun action. Contra was always one of my favorite NES games. And Contra III: The Alien Wars was perhaps even better! Cyber-Lip is definitely no Contra, but man would I have loved to play this in the comfort of my living room back in the early ’90s.

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Released in November of 1990, this is the oldest game on my list. The Super Famicom just made its debut over in Japan during that time. Imagine Cyber-Lip as an early launch title to go along with the Super Nintendo in North America circa September 1991! The units it would have sold… what a missed opportunity.

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Featuring some of the most memorable and craziest looking bosses I’ve ever seen, Cyber-Lip left a definite impression on me. More than 30 years later, some of those unforgettable visuals are still vividly seared in my mind. Seriously, whoever created that boss design above is one sick and twisted individual. There are better examples of this type of game out there, but to me few are as nostalgic!

#10: SPINMASTER

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Ever since playing NES games such as Rygar and Yo-Noid, I’ve always been a fan of games where your main weapon is either a yo-yo or a boomerang-like weapon. Data East’s Spinmaster satisfied that itch and more!

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I couldn’t help but stop and gawk at this game anytime I came across it in the arcades back in late 1993. The graphics were so rich and colorful. It looked like a Saturday morning cartoon come to life. There’s something about the aesthetics of Spinmaster that really speak to me. And it just looks like the kind of game that would have fit perfectly on the SNES! Toned down of course, as was always the case with arcade conversions, but still capturing the essence of the arcade original.

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Data East was a solid company back in the ’90s. They weren’t on that magical Capcom or Konami tier, but you could almost always count on them to deliver something worth your precious quarters.

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While Spinmaster may not top many people’s minds when talking about favorite arcade games from the ’90s, it’s one of those games that I always had to plop a quarter (or two) into whenever I spotted it in the wild. Be it some random pizza joint or even a laundromat, it was always fun to play especially with a friend fighting the good fight right beside you.

#9: NIGHT SLASHERS

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Speaking of the devil Data East, in early 1993 they combined two of my most favorite things: horror and beat ‘em ups. And it was, as you can surmise, glorious. Who didn’t want to dispose of rotting zombies and various monsters of all sorts? It was bloody, brutal and simply splendid.

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Unfortunately, like all games on this list, Night Slashers and the SNES were like two ships passing in the night. This was before Nintendo loosened up on their family friendly image circa mid-1994, allowing SNES games to take on more of a violent nature if need be. What a shame too, as this would have been a hell of a fun game to play at home with a friend.

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Thankfully, the selection of excellent beat ‘em ups already on the system softens the blow of missing out on this port. Games such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time, Return of Double Dragon and Final Fight 3 are all great examples of the genre. Still, none of those games stand up to Night Slashers in the way of offering gruesome and visceral satisfaction. A shame we never saw a SNES port, indeed.

#8: VENDETTA

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One of my favorite arcade games in 1991, Vendetta by Konami is often times the game I have in mind whenever I think about beat ‘em ups. To me there’s just something quintessential about Vendetta that warms my beat ‘em up loving heart. For one, I love being able to play as either the clone of Mr. T or Hulk Hogan. Right off the top, you simply can’t beat that.

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Another huge win for Vendetta were all the cool weapons littered throughout that you can use to even the odds. Knives, guns, spiked baseball bats, wooden crates, garbage cans, whips, beer bottles, chains, barrels, hell even bags of flour! As a kid it blew my mind the insane number of weapons available at your disposal. Vendetta was all about having a good time.

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Up to 3 friends can join you for the mayhem and destruction. A Super Nintendo port would surely have been reduced to just 2 players, but it still would have been a blast. I loved all the locales too, with my favorite being a goddamn grocery store of all places. That’s the kind of ingenuity I want in my beat ‘em ups!

#7: SUPER PUZZLE FIGHTER II TURBO

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Arriving in arcades in May of 1996, the SNES was already nearing life support in North America at that time. So one might think a conversion of Puzzle Fighter to be highly unlikely. I would agree had it NOT been for Capcom releasing an amazingly competent port of Street Fighter Alpha 2 on the SNES in late ’96. I could easily envision Capcom doing the old 1-2 punch combo releasing BOTH titles that holiday season as one last hurrah, but perhaps they decided instead to put all their SNES eggs into one basket. Puzzle Fighter pits Street Fighter and Darkstalkers characters against one another, all in the name of gem smashing supremacy.

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Each of the 8 characters have their own gem patterns, which added to the game’s strategy and replay value. Chibi renditions of the fighters stand center stage and perform their special moves on one another when players execute big combos. It all added to the fun and charm of Puzzle Fighter. It’s one of those simple games that is easy to pick up but hard to put down.

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And not being a particularly demanding game in terms of graphics and specs, I’m sure Capcom could have easily converted this for a quick buck for those still clinging to their SNES that holiday season of 1996 (surprisingly more people than you think because some were not ready, for one reason or another, to move on to the 32-bit systems just yet). I sure wish that were the case, because Puzzle Fighter would have given Tetris Attack a good run for its money as best puzzle game on the SNES!

#6: SAMURAI SHODOWN II

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Samurai Shodown (known as Samurai Spirits in the Land of the Rising Sun) made waves when it landed on the arcade scene back in the glorious summer of 1993. Similar to Shogun Warriors (featured earlier on this list at #19), Samurai Shodown is set in feudal Japan with a focus on weapon-based combat. It caught many an eye with its unique aesthetics and atmosphere. The sound effects of swords clanging and slicing flesh were haunting! Even the smallest details, such as the whipping wind sound effect of Haohmaru’s tornado projectile, is seared in my memory bank nearly 30 (!) years on. A scaling effect had the camera zoom in when combatants were in proximity of each other, and would pull back to show the scope of the battlefield when the fighters were farther apart. Either view was awe-inspiring and further helped to separate Samurai Shodown from the rest of the fighting game pack.

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With a fantastic foundation already in place, the sequel blew the door off the hinges with 4 new fighters, more special moves (including super special attacks with the RAGE meter), advanced techniques such as ducking and rolling, and easter eggs just to name a few. Samurai Shodown II was the pinnacle of fighting game nirvana in late 1994. That was around the same time the SNES received a decent (but not spectacular) port of the first Samurai Shodown. Gone was the scaling and humongous fighters. The fighters were sadly reduced to a pint size, and some censorship issues marred the SNES port. Still playable, but definitely missing some of the key aspects that made the arcade original so fun and special.

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But as we saw with the SNES ports of Fatal Fury 2 and King of the Monsters 2, there are some examples of mediocre (or even awful) first ports in a series that received a far superior sequel port. I am of the mindset that Samurai Shodown II would have been one of the best fighting games on the SNES. Alas, the world shall never know.

#5: ELEVATOR ACTION RETURNS

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Most of us who grew up gaming in the late ’80s are likely to remember Elevator Action on the 8-bit NES (although it began its life in the arcades in 1983). An interesting game in theory, I never quite liked it as much as I was hoping to. More than 10 years later (1994), Elevator Action Returns rectified all of the previous game’s shortcomings. The game I always pictured in my mind wanting the NES version to be finally came to fruition, and it was nothing short of amazing.

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Taking on a grittier atmosphere, as one of 3 agents you navigate the various stages shifting elevators, blasting bad guys and blowing shit up. The game tickles the imagination in a way that most games can only dream of doing. Among the many things I love about this game are all the little touches, such as graffiti sprawled on the walls. My favorite being CRUSH THE OLD ORDER!! It really transports you to a far-flung dystopian world that’s corrupt beyond repair, dripping with evil and decay at every nook and cranny.

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Few things are as satisfying as blowing up a box of explosives in a hallway and seeing a bad guy come out of the door right on cue, thereby setting himself aflame. Even better? Seeing his friends follow suit one after another, lighting each other up like a trail of birthday candles! Elevator Action Returns has a subtle sense of dark humor that adds to the overall enjoyment and really elevates it (sorry) above the rest. Who knew crushing enemies underneath an elevator could be so much damn fun?!

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Best of all, you can save the world with a friend in tow. Each of the agents have their own strengths and weaknesses, as well as a special attack, to increase replay value. The game is short and sweet, and one I often revisit. Sega Saturn owners were lucky enough to receive a flawless port. It’s one of my top 10 Saturn favorites — I replayed it so much in the early-mid 2000’s and still play it once in a while to this very day.

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Still, I would have loved to play Elevator Action Returns on the SNES back in the ’90s with my gaming pals. There aren’t enough quality 2 player run ‘n gun experiences on the SNES, and EAR would have been a much welcome addition.

#4: WWF WRESTLEFEST

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I grew up watching the WWF religiously with my uncle, brother and best friend. I loved the larger than life characters and the zany circus world of professional wrestling. In the summer of 1991, we were graced with the presence of WWF WrestleFest at our local arcade. The huge sprites, the insanely colorful visuals and the ability to play as the heroes of my childhood (such as Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior) made WrestleFest a damn near religious experience.

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WrestleFest quickly took on sort of a mythical status within my gaming crew in the early ’90s. As ardent wrestling geeks, we poured countless quarters into the machine as we punched, kicked, scratched and clawed our way to the top. It’s one of those special games that’s definitely in my Mount Rushmore of “Oh man, how I wish this came out on the SNES!”

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It has some of the greatest aesthetics I’ve ever seen in any game, ever. The wrestlers were big and beefy just like they were in real life. The blue mats with the classic old school WWF logo really popped, and the short yellow energy bars (with red indicating the damage  inflicted) made it visually very satisfying to look at. It’s exactly how I picture a WWF arcade game to look like (don’t get me started on the crappy aesthetics of WWF WrestleMania: The Arcade Game…)

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Sadly our hopes and dreams were crushed when a home translation never materialized. Instead, SNES owners were “treated” to the very forgettable WWF Super WrestleMania. Some small form of redemption appeared in 1993 with WWF Royal Rumble and WWF Raw the following year, but neither could hold the jock strap of WrestleFest.

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A Super Nintendo port would come with much (graphical) sacrifice, but I bet it would have been a competent effort easily worth one of our birthday or Christmas bullets. Alas, CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE

#3: THE SIMPSONS ARCADE GAME

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In 1991, both The Simpsons and Konami were on fire. Neither could seemingly do any wrong. So when the two mega brands joined forces, you knew the end results would be nothing short of phenomenal. And that’s exactly what eager arcade goers got with (un)arguably one of the most memorable arcade games of all time.

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Playing as one of either Homer, Marge, Bart or Lisa, The Simpsons Arcade Game perfectly captured the zaniness and wacky appeal of the popular cartoon show. Few things could rival corralling 3 buddies and bashing your way through Springfield.

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I can’t tell you how many quarters my friends and I wasted lovingly spent on this game. It was just one of those games that whenever you saw the arcade cab, you JUST had to play it. There’s an instant pick up and play factor to it that reminds you of why you love video games so much. At their core, video games should be fun distractions that help to take your mind off the real world and transport you to a magical land where clogged six lane highways and bills don’t exist. Few did that better than The Simpsons Arcade Game.

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Obviously, a SNES port would require some scaling back. No 4 player mode. Less animations. Lower quality of sound and visuals. All perfectly acceptable. My buddies and I were ready for the “inevitable” home port. Therefore, a small part of us collectively died when it sadly never did.

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As much as never being able to play this on our SNES crushed us, there was another Konami brawler based off another highly popular IP that cut us even deeper…

#2: X-MEN

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In 1991 my friends and I were absolutely obsessed with Marvel’s 1991 trading cards. We bought packs like crazy at a local card shop by the name of Triple Play. Each pack, costing only $1, contained 12 cards. It was awesome because $1 was easy enough to wrangle from your parents on any given day. Then you’d head to Triple Play, buy a pack or 2, check out your new goodies and negotiate to trade away your doubles for that elusive card still missing in your ever growing collection. This, mind you, was all conducted while waiting excitedly for the Street Fighter II line off in the corner to die down. It was a foolproof recipe for a perfect lazy Sunday.

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In early 1992 Konami dropped yet another gem, this time featuring the incomparable X-Men. To say that my friends and I were over the moon would be the understatement of the year. Up to 6 players can team up and take out Magneto and his vile lackeys. My ride or die character? Colossus. Always Colossus!

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Confession time: There was a time in 1992 when I was being an outright prick. My friend and I used to cruise the arcade hall, and whenever we saw a little kid playing X-Men, I would walk right up to his control panel and spam the special attack button. This unleashes a powerful attack BUT at the expense of a little health. So I would basically drain the poor guy’s health bar to zilch and then he’d die in quick fashion. I remember doing this maybe 2 or 3 times, and laughing with my friend as we ran off. I don’t know why I did that — I’m certainly not proud of it and usually was a goody two shoes by all accounts. I guess it was a phase I went through and I just had to get it out of my system. To this day I can still see Colossus spamming his special attack. Poor kid. If you’re reading this, I apologize for being an asshole. I know it’s an apology 30 years too late, but yeah.

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So I’ll take ownership and full responsibility. My terrible actions led to some bad karma, which then nixed any chance of a Super Nintendo port. At least Capcom gave us X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse in late 1994. It’s nowhere the same as the X-Men arcade game in terms of quality, but it was at least pretty solid in its own right. Hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get, right?

#1: DARKSTALKERS

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The year was 1994. I was in the 5th grade and at the height of my childhood prime. Fighting games were still on top and my love for monsters and all things macabre were at an all-time high. So it was a match made in heaven (er, hell?) when Capcom released Darkstalkers in the summer of 1994. Featuring 10 monstrous characters, ranging from clones of Dracula to Frankenstein to a werewolf and more, it was a true monster mash of epic proportions.

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To simply label Darkstalkers as “Street Fighter II but with monsters” would be doing it a gross disservice. It has its own distinct feel that made it so fun and unique to play. The visuals and aesthetics were all top-notch as we came to expect from Capcom in the ’90s. Hell, I can still hear the memorable music and sound effects loud and clear in my head to this very day.

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Like many of the other games on this list, a SNES port would have been scaled down by a great degree. Fewer frames of animation, less vibrant colors and other sacrifices would have been necessary to fit it all on one tiny 16-bit cartridge. But I believe it could have been done successfully. The monsters would be smaller and the speech samples would have less impact but man would I have loved to play this on my SNES in 1995!

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Some of the more gruesome parts, like Bishamon slicing his opponent in two, would need to be cut (sorry, no bad pun intended). But especially knowing what Capcom managed to pull out of the SNES with their stellar port of Street Fighter Alpha 2, Darkstalkers would have been a cinch for the Big C.

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Capcom didn’t do much wrong in the ’90s or on the Super Nintendo, but never releasing a Darkstalkers port tops my very short list of things they misfired on. But given all the great SNES titles they bestowed upon us, this glaring omission is a forgivable sin. Still, a competent Darkstalkers port would probably have been one of the top 5 fighting games on the SNES.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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Thankfully, many of the games on this list has been made playable on the Nintendo Switch. And there are few, if any, imperfections. Still, there’s no accounting for how priceless it would have been if all these games came out on the SNES when we were kids in the ’90s. Because even though all Super Nintendo ports of arcade games had some degree of flaws and warts, a good number of them managed to capture the feel and essence of what made their arcade counterpart so much damn fun to play. And it was that special feeling of bringing them home from the rental store (or Toys R Us) for the first time and being blown away that you were playing a variation of the arcade game you loved so much in the comfort of your very own living room. There was something pure and magical about that. It’s a time capsule to what is a very nostalgic period of our lives for many of us reading this. So long as the home port represented the arcade game moderately well, we were as ecstatic as vampires crashing a bloodmobile. So here’s to 30 years of the Super Nintendo kicking ass and taking names. What a damn fun journey it has been. But as great as it was, it would have been even better had these 20 games come out. Yet for all the great home ports we missed out on, let’s remember how lucky we have been over the past 30 years. To this day, the SNES for my money still boasts one of the best gaming libraries ever assembled. Happy 30 years, SNES!

We shall never forget those halcyon days...
We shall never forget those halcyon days…

Buon Compleanno

Today is June 15, 2019. To me that means two things. 1. It’s about summer time (kiss my ass, school!) and 2. It’s my little cousin’s birthday. Well, he’s not so little anymore — he stands 6 feet tall and just turned 31. David, in a nutshell, has always sort of been the little brother I never had. Thus, this article is a tribute to my cousin, the little bro I never had. Cheers to you, David. And happy birthday, bro.

IN THE BEGINNING…

David and I grew up together. In the late ’80s, my uncle lived with me and the family. He married, his wife moved in and they had a baby in ’88. I remember June 15, 1988 pretty well, considering I was only four (and three quarters) at the time. It was a damp and blustery morning as I stood outside the garage door, watching my mom sweep the dry brown leaves off the driveway. And then my uncle’s car gently roared into the just swept driveway. My aunt clambered out and it was then that David and I first met. We bonded immediately, as though we were best friends in a past lifetime.

ADVENTURES IN TEETH BRUSHING

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I’m so glad my uncle loved recording us as we grew up together in the late ’80s to early ’90s. It was thanks to my uncle’s penchant for documenting everything that I fondly recall all the wacky adventures David and I shared. One of my favorite memories was David’s love for sneaking out of his crib (with my aid of course) to brush his teeth for the hundredth time that same night. At two years old, he would reach out of the crib and beg for me to transport him to his very own version of Disney World. And with that patented jovial grin of his, how could I resist? He was such a delightful and cute little rascal.

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No one loved brushing teeth more than David, and I loved to watch him do it. Never before had I seen such showmanship! After he brushed, 5 minutes later in his crib he’d tug on my shirt to take him back. So under the cover of darkness, I’d smuggle him off to the bathroom for another show. There’s a home video floating out there somewhere where you can see me shoving David — with all of my seven-year-old strength — up on to the sink. He bumped his head against the mirror really hard as he fought to stand up on his wobbly legs. Instead of crying, he amusingly stared back at his two-year-old reflection and, with a gleeful laughter, jubilantly pounded the mirror with his palm. He was a bundle of joy.

FEARLESS

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One of my favorite pastimes was playing backyard baseball against my brother. This moment was not captured on film by my uncle but damn do I remember it as though it happened yesterday. It was the summer of 1991. I was about 8, my brother was 10 and David was 3. Kevin was on the mound and he stared me down as I stood firmly in the batter’s box (AKA a patch of grass at one end of my backyard). Kevin went into his windup, lifted his leg and flung the tennis ball down broadway as hard as he could. I took a mighty cut and fouled the ball off into the thorn bushes. David was in the background fiddling around on his brand new Power Wheels. Like most brothers growing up, Kevin and I fought a shit ton as youngsters, physically and verbally. Instead of grabbing a stick and poking the tennis ball out of the thorn bush he screamed at me for hitting it there. Of course, as little brothers often do, I had to respond in kind. And my response was not kind! We were busy shoving and jostling. And in the middle of this commotion I felt a tap. Kevin and I turned around. We could not believe our eyes.

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David, with a grin oddly plastered across his angelic little face, held out the tennis ball to us. As if it were an offering. We gasped in horror when we saw the sickening multitude of thorns that had pricked his tiny arm. But judging by his ear-to-ear grin, you’d never think the pain that had to be surging through his little arm bugged him at all. I remember kissing him on the forehead and patting him on the back. What a great kid. My brother and I immediately dropped our quarrel and we spent the rest of that afternoon playing with David in complete and blissful harmony. David does it again!

I'll never forget the sight of his pricked arm. Insanity!
I’ll never forget the sight of his pricked arm. Insanity!

Then in the spring of ’92 my aunt became pregnant, and my uncle decided the time was perfect to move out and buy a place of their own. My childhood dream of growing up in a big household — blame it on Full House I suppose — was suddenly dashed. And life, well, life would never be the same.

ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS

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My cousin Vince, about 10 years my senior, was one of my idols growing up. I always looked up to Vince, and in many ways felt I should pass that down to David. I hoped to provide him with wonderful memories and experiences as he grew up — just like how Vince did for me all those years ago. So when David was around 10 in 1998, I suddenly had this knack for taking him on his first roller coaster ride. He told me he had never been on one due to his fear of heights and whatnot. But I assured him it was worth it… that it was sort of a childhood rite of passage. In the summer of ’98 it became my obsession to have him ride one. And finally, one scorching hot summer day, he finally said YES.

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I couldn’t believe my ears, as though David was speaking to me in tongues. David was confronting his fear! He was about to embark on his first ever roller coaster adventure. Looking back on it, it may sound kind of silly but at the time it truly felt like a landmark moment in his life. I had this weird fantasy where riding a roller coaster would expand David’s world and help him to fully realize his potential. For as exuberant and daring a toddler he was, as a child he grew to be rather reserved. Deep down I always believed he still had that expressive and jubilant side in him, and I was determined to bring it out at any cost.

Finally, the moment of reckoning descended upon us. Proudly marching up to that towering steel structure that loomed before us, David was rearing to shock the system and give the man the proverbial old middle finger. But just as quickly, from out of nowhere, his grandmother (God rest her soul) swooped in, grabbed him by the wrist and yelled “ARE YOU CRAZY?! NO YOU’RE NOT GETTING ON THAT!”

Although it happened only a foot away from me, I remember feeling like it took place a chasm apart. I was completely helpless to stop it, and I saw the gleam of courage in David’s eyes instantly give way to fear. Physically, he seemed to shrink before me. And despite my urging him to still carry on, he sadly shook his head at me and could only say, “Sorry Steve, I can’t do it…”

I was crushed. So close, yet so far. It’s one of those memories and vivid scenes that stay with you for a lifetime. But as terrible as I felt, I could only imagine how defeated David must have felt. And for that, my heart absolutely sank.

DAVID’S HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE

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Relinquishing the dream of the cold steel wonder that is the roller coaster, I looked to another form of cheap American thrill… the haunted house. Yet another childhood rite of passage, one of my fondest childhood memories was Halloween night of 1995. That was the night my cousins took me to my first real haunted house and I never looked back. The sights, the sounds, the smells, ahhh. I wanted David to have that experience for himself.

Michael Myers almost attacked me that night!
Michael Myers almost got me that night!

Similar to the roller coaster, David rejected my various invites. 1998 was a no go. But in 1999 he accepted. But first he wanted to trick or treat around the block. Fair enough, I thought to myself. So I took him and his sister trick or treating. David and his sister ran from house to house like thieves in the night. In a way they were! Free candy! Wearing masks! Why, in my day they didn’t hand out candy; oh heck no, rather, it was rationed paper clips! [Oh stop it -Ed.]

If only David saw those steps in the darkness...
If only David saw those steps in the darkness…

Near the end of that fateful evening, on one of the final houses on our tour, David didn’t make out the steps in the darkness and fell. I heard the sickening sound of bare knees scraping concrete. And that is a match concrete will always win. I took David and his sister home, and sadly he never left the house again that night. I was so disappointed. It was just like the roller coaster from the year prior. So close, yet so far. But there’s always next year, right?

But time was quickly running out. I was 12 when I went to the haunted house in ’95. There’s something to be said about going to a haunted house when you’re THAT young. When you’re easily impressed by halfway decent setups that replicated the horrors of a house. When you think about it, 12 is really the last year of childhood, is it not? Well, in 2000, David was 12. This was the year. The last year. It was now or never. Do or die.

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October 31, 2000. David and I finally went to that haunted house. I was glad David was able to experience it just in the nick of time before hitting his teenage years. And I know it’s über dorky but for many years following Halloween 2000 I proudly carried the ticket around in my wallet wherever I went. It was a symbol, to me, for breaking through.

Oh snap, remember Gyro's?
Oh snap, remember Gyro’s?
Good times
Good times

A SHOCKING BOMBSHELL

Say whaaaaa...
Say whaaaaa…

Summer 2004. My cousins on Vince’s side from time to time held family get togethers on Saturdays, and this was one of those jam-packed occasions. Their huge two story house was the perfect place for family reunions and gatherings. As previously stated, I admired Vince growing up. And I’ve always strove to be a great cousin and example for David, like how Vince was to me. So I guess you could say it was pretty fitting anytime that Vince, David and I found ourselves under the same roof. It actually didn’t happen as often as one might think since David’s family wasn’t super close with Vince’s family, and David was a homebody who deeply valued his peace and privacy. But in a stroke of luck, David decided to come out to the party on this fateful day, and that was where he dropped a bombshell on little ol’ me.

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Everyone was hanging out downstairs or playing pool in the backyard. David and I were chilling upstairs in the den. We were playing foosball and just kind of hanging out when he looked at me and said something I would never forget.

“… I got a D in math this past semester.”

All my life I’ve looked at David as the little brother I never had. And his bold gesture, despite the negative context, made me feel SO proud. He rarely opened up like that to anybody. At that moment I knew, without a shadow of a doubt and for the first time ever, that he saw me as the older brother HE never had. My family has never been the strongest in terms of keeping an open line of communication as I think many of us don’t feel comfortable sharing details. So for David to share that with me on that day… it blew me away. I, of course, reassured him that it was OK and that life is about learning from our mistakes. We had a really good and deep conversation before joining the rest of the fam downstairs. It was one of those bonding conversations you never forget.

A SLICE OF COLLEGE LIFE

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It was the spring of 2005. There was a big event going on at my University one night. Everyone was welcomed to join the fray in the Student Union. It was a rally night to discuss various topics in the Asian community such as issues related to drugs, sex, sexual identity, you know, that kind of gig. I asked David to join me. Surprisingly, he was game. So 30 minutes before the event began at 7 PM, I drove to his place to pick him up.

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The event was packed with roughly 60 to 75 college students from every imaginable walk of life. I glanced over at David as we found our seats. I was ecstatic that he decided to come along and step out of his comfort zone. I wanted to expose him to a slice of college life. He was probably the only high school kid there that night.

Following a brief introduction by the MC and a speech by the presenter, the floor was opened up to the people for thoughts and questions. The MC asked if anyone would like to respond to the speech. Glancing around the room, and then looking over at David who sat there with an odd grin on his face, I decided to stand up. As I stood up from my seat I could see David looking up at me in a state of semi shock. I’d never really told him about my public speaking background before. No doubt the #1 reason I decided to speak that evening was to show David you can do anything when you believe in yourself.

Staring out at a sea of humanity...
Staring out at a sea of humanity…

The walk from my seat to the front of the lecture hall felt long as hell. I think a few students coughed as I made my way up there. I shook the MC’s hand and then turned to face the audience. Man was it packed. Tugging on my blue Michael Jordan skullcap, I began my spiel.

“You know, in our Asian culture it’s not easy being homosexual. *pause* Not that I am… and not that there’s anything wrong with being homosexual.”

The room filled with laughter. I saw David cracking up. I think in some way he understood I was doing this for him. His expression was one that read, “That’s my cousin up there.” [Or maybe “I don’t know him, I swear, I don’t!” -Ed.]

On a side note, I had a point to my speech. The usage of comic relief in the intro was to lighten up the mood for a second. I certainly wouldn’t do it in a room full of college professors. It’s all about reading your audience!

However, the thrill of the night came later on. We broke into small groups to talk about our experiences and thoughts on these various issues in the Asian community. We sat in a circle and went around. When it got to be David’s turn, he shared his two cents. This high school kid was talking with a group of college students like he belonged. I was so proud of the guy. I remember just beaming at him like a proud older brother.

When the meeting concluded, David and I talked and joked all the way back to the parking garage. It was a cold and starry night. Just absolutely serene. I was thrilled that I was able to provide David with a small taste of what was to come in his future, being that he was now almost 17. Any sort of preparation, no matter how small, is big. Plus he got to see his crazy ol’ cousin in action as a bonus :D

Driving David home on the freeway that night, music blaring, I think I did Vince proud.

It was a great night for all
It was a great night for all

AMERICA’S NATIONAL PASTIME

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Later that summer in July of 2005 I took David to his first baseball game. It went to extra innings and ended with a walk-off hit in the bottom of the 10th. We had a blast at the park rooting on the home team. It was another item checked off David’s list. It was simple, it was fun and he couldn’t have watched a better more exciting game. We went home on a high :)

CELEBRATING AMERICA

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4th of July, 2006. I took David to one of my favorite spots to watch fireworks. It’s on a hill in the eastern side of town. At sunset the view is pretty damn gorgeous. We had a blast just talking, catching up, admiring the fireworks and celebrating America’s 230th birthday.

Check out these crazy weird photos I took that night:

O_o
O_o
:P
:P

THE RISE OF DAVID

Rise of the Silver Surfer. Hey, it's a guilty pleasure OK?
Rise of the Silver Surfer is a guilty pleasure

June 15, 2007 (the date this article was originally written) marked David’s 19th birthday. It was also the opening day for Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. We caught the first film on opening weekend back in 2005. It was me, David and our cousin Mike out to celebrate David’s last year before hitting his 20’s.

Remember Marvel '91 trading card series? Classic!
Remember Marvel ’91 trading card series? Classic!
What a bad ass time to be a kid!
What a bad ass time to be a kid!

When we arrived at the theater it was completely jam packed! I couldn’t help but notice cute girls around David’s age were all over the place. Given the film, no shocker there. David was sitting on the edge of a row, Mike in the mid — oh look, here’s a pic to make your life (and mine!) easier.

But imagine the seats looking MUCH nicer
But imagine the seats looking MUCH nicer

The girl sitting in the row in front of us, about 5 minutes before the trailers, turned around to look back at me.

“Hey, are you saving that seat there for a friend?” she pointed to the empty seat that separated me and the cute girl.

“Nope.”

“Is it cool if you move over? My two friends are coming soon and we’re out of seats in this row here.”

No problem, I told her. OH NO PROBLEM AT ALL! David, Mike and I moved over one seat. So now the cute girl and I were sitting next to each other. I can’t say that it hurt my feelings.

And then… as I sunk into my chair and chatted with Mike and David, the two friends the girl had mentioned walked into the theater and made their way to our row.

These two ladies, as fate would have it, were the type to turn heads. I looked over at David as one of them sat down beside him and I could sense him doing mental cartwheels. Ah indeed, what a stroke of luck for my fine feathered friend.

I felt so happy for David. Dude was GOOD!
Good times

Right before the house lights dimmed for the trailers, I caught a glimpse of a sly little grin crossing David’s face. As the first preview roared over the screen and speakers, I laughed to myself, poking Mike. I gave him the look. He, too, knew what was going on with David. He discreetly glanced over at David in the darkness and then back to me, returning the “I gotcha” gesture.

What David probably dreamed of doing :P
What David probably dreamed of doing :P
dd
:D

After the movie I took David and Mike to a nearby Italian restaurant. David insisted on going to Taco Bell or Wendy’s. I told David that I love those places as much as anyone but those are no places to eat on a birthday. This Italian restaurant was far from hoity-toity upper class, but at least it had some class.

Once seated, I noticed a waitress who looked vaguely familiar. She was serving an old couple the table over. Hmmm, where have I seen her before?

This restaurant, being family oriented, had each table adorned by white drawing paper you could write and color on. A set of crayons were sprawled between the salt ‘n pepper. I took a green crayon and wrote on the sheet “Happy 30th Birthday David!”

Zoom in on mobile and you can see my messy scribble
Zoom in on mobile and you can see my messy scribble

It was an in-joke between the three of us. We often joked that David, although turning 19 at the time, always acted like someone much older than his age. David and Mike laughed when they saw my message on the dining table paper.

When our waitress came over to field our orders, she pointed to the crayon scribbling and asked “Whose birthday is it?” I pointed to David, who made meek eye contact with this attractive Filipino lass probably in her mid 20’s.

“Well, happy birthday, David,” she said warmly. He said a quick thank you. “I’ll be back with your drinks in a minute. If you need anything else, let me know.”

And then the waitress from the other table walked by. I saw her face and it hit me. She looked at me funny, too.

“Tiff?!”

“Oh my God, Steve??”

Tiffany was an old family friend I’d spent more than a few Saturday nights with, back in ’99 and 2000 along with another family friend, Tim. Back then, our parents met at Tim’s house once or twice a month for dancing and drinking. The parents partied downstairs while we did our thing upstairs. Tim and I both openly shared a crush on Tiff. Some nights she was closer to him, other nights closer to me (not physically close but emotionally). It was a friendly rivalry between he and I (we were really good friends). All in all it was good harmless 16 year old fun.

In fact, that hill I took David to on 4th of July, 2006, was the same hill in which Tim, Tiff and I spent our 4th of July back in 2000, just months before I took David to his first ever haunted house. Crazy how things connect…

Anyhow, Mike and David looked on in a mixture of confusion and wonder as Tiff and I quickly played catch-up. What a freaking small world! We hadn’t seen each other since the summer of 2000 when the parents quietly disbanded their Saturday night dance and drink-athons. Our impromptu reunion ended when she had to go back to waiting tables. We hugged and wished each other well. And that was that.

So now Mike, David and I were eating and talking. Just enjoying life. And then our waitress came over, along with another attractive female co-worker, holding a surprise small fudge cake. David’s expression said it all.

“We’re going to sing you happy birthday but in… Italian!” they ceremoniously declared.

  • Buon compleanno a te
    Buon compleanno a te
    Buon compleanno a David
    Buon compleanno a teeeeeeeeeeee

As they sang, I noted the way they starred merrily into David’s eyes as though he were the most handsome young man they had ever laid eyes on. I NEVER saw David look any prouder in the 19 years that I had known him than at that very moment in time. He sat up, chin held up high and he was beaming from ear to ear. I sat there and admired the moment. It’s an image that’s been embedded in my soul.

The rest of the day David was like a new man. I ribbed him about his two new girlfriends. He laughed and had this spark in his eyes as he went along with the joke — it made me so happy seeing him be so happy :)

And, to this day, it’s a joke we still occasionally joke about.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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In early 2015 I gave David a copy of Memoirs of a Virtual Caveman, written by my buddy, Rob Strangman. I contributed 5 guest stories to Rob’s epic book of video game memories from yesteryear, and I felt the time was right to finally share with David about the existence of RVGFanatic, and the article I had written about him way back in 2007. He was touched.

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To my cousin, David, AKA the little bro I never had, thanks for being my cousin brother. May you always reach for the stars and be who you’re meant to be. Love ya, bro.

PS- Your ass still owes me a roller coaster ride ;)