There are games you hear about and instantly know it’s right up your alley. But sometimes it seems too good to be true, and you find out the game was cancelled, never made available on physical cartridge or whatever. Sutte Hakkun was that to me — a game which I thought was an exclusive BS-X game (a type of Super Famicom downloading service in Japan). But then it achieved such positive word of mouth that Nintendo decided to release it on an actual Super Famicom cartridge on June 25, 1999. This is, quite possibly, the last great Super Nintendo game ever released.
IT LIVES!!
I obtained my cartridge only copy through a mercenary I had living in Japan for $29 on October 11, 2006 (wow, 10 years fly by fast). Today cartridge only copies of Sutte Hakkun go for over $100 (which as ridiculous as that sounds is actually kind of surprisingly low considering how much some of these scarce highly sought after titles can fetch).
If you ever wanted a game based on this, here ya go!
Sutte Hakkun is a platform-puzzler. Taking command of a translucent creature resembling a dipping bird, your goal is to reach the rainbow orb(s) in each level. It sounds simple but of course, as you can predict, the later levels get quite tough.
Some levels have multiple orbsSuck and blow. Shush you
The buttons are very simple. B jumps and Y pecks. By pecking, you can absorb helpers (i.e. blocks) and move them to new positions to help you reach the exit. There are also jars which contain red, yellow or blue paint. By pecking, you can suck the color out of a jar and transfer the paint to blocks, causing the block to move in a set pattern, depending on the color you’ve injected. Red goes up and down, yellow diagonally and blue horizontally. Of course they don’t travel the full length of the screen — there would be zero strategy if that were the case. Rather, the blocks travel a short distance back and forth.
LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO
Absorb colors through your beakThis allows you to move a blockYou suck like a champ don’t cha
Sutte Hakkun translates to “Suck and Blow.” [We’re all mature enough here right? -Ed.] And that’s exactly what you’ll be doing a lot of. In this game, I mean. At least in this game. [Oi -Ed.]. You’ll spend a lot of time sucking paint and transferring them into the transparent blocks.
Of course you can freeze a block’s movement by sucking the paint out of them, and it’s by this method that allows you to change a block’s height to better suit your goal.
Observe:
Red makes blocks move verticallyJump on, then jump offSuck it out, then put it back inReach new heights
That block now travels higher based on where you’ve injected it. Nice!
You can now access the orb
As you can see, this is a rather unique puzzle action game. It’s quite creative and brilliant. You just can’t help but love it. Major props to Nintendo for breathing new life into a genre that has way too many similar games.
The beauty is there are multiple ways to solve a level. The method seen above is just one, but I’ve completed level 1 and some of the others in different ways. It’s really awesome to see how many different solutions there are but they all get you to your end goal — the next level.
Dump a color by pressing down
And should you want to harmlessly dump a color for whatever reason, simply press down on the control pad.
LEVEL 2 AT A GLANCE
Hop onSuck it, then put it back inHop on againOne down, one to go
There are many stages, with 10 levels in each stage. The further you advance the crazier they get. Trust me, the later ones are INSANE. Just be grateful there’s no time limit!
This coming from Nintendo and all, Sutte Hakkun is filled with nice little details. Look no further than the stone that goes from a smile to a frown the moment you hop on its head. It’s these little touches that just make you grin and appreciate the great effort from the fine folks over at Nintendo.
Scope out the lay of the land
Press R to scan the level — later stages have a bigger layout so this comes in handy. Sometimes it helps knowing what lays ahead.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Another awesome SNES gem
A fine action puzzler that will last ages on account of the later stages being damn tough. I dare call it a must-have for every SNES owner who enjoys staring contemplatively at the screen until inspiration breaks through with the resolute “A-HA!” The last great Super Nintendo game ever released, Sutte Hakkun is a piece of history and a true piece of video gaming art. The Super Famicom received so many fantastic games that never saw the light of day here in America. Sutte Hakkun is another shining example of such. It’s a mind bender in every sense of the word, and puzzle fans are sure to eat this one up.
One of the best Super Famicom games hardly anyone ever talks about
You know, there are a lot of “hidden gems” on the Super Nintendo. Many are no longer “obscure” because they’ve received their just due and praise over the course of the past decade or so. But there remains a few titles that I still see don’t get the kind of recognition that they so richly deserve. Puzzle’n Desu! is one such game. It’s truly one of the best games on the system that you might have yet to play, or even heard of before. There’s a reason why the box says “Ultimate Cool Puzzle Game.” Hey, them some bold words. But if any puzzle game can live up to such a high title, it’s this one.
Hell of a brain teaser, this one. You move the little guy on the left around a giant square arena, trying to match all the like colors. You can only push one block at a time, and it’ll travel until it’s stopped by a wall or block.
Three like colors, minimum, are required to make a successful match. Sometimes there are four instead of three, so you must connect all four. Match only three in this instance and you’ll fail (as there would be one block remaining).
Let’s take a look at the first few stages.
STAGE ONE
If you can’t figure out how to solve this first level…
STAGE TWO
I like the way the blocks disappear. The little visual effect is always a welcomed sight. Hey, it’s the small stuff, right?
The blue blocks are a cinch as you can see… but the pink ones… what to do…
Set them up as such
There you go, now this pink formation is ripe for the pickings. Can you solve the rest? As you can imagine, the later puzzles become murderous.
Interestingly enough, this mode can be played with up to three friends. I believe this is the only Super Nintendo action puzzle game that allows you to do such a thing. Very cool stuff!
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
An ace 4-player battle mode is included! Much more than a mere afterthought, this can rival Bomberman believe it or not! The goal is simple. Squish your opponent(s) via block pushing. The winner is the sole survivor. And for good measure, you get 10 different stage designs, whose block placement is randomly generated, enabling countless variants! (similar to the map system of the beloved WORMS franchise).
B = push
A = moves a block around you
Note the “A” command is only valid in the battle mode, for obvious reasons. Also, even in this mode blocks will disappear when accidentally or purposely matched. Awesome continuity.
Here are the 10 battle zones:
BATTLE ZONE 1
It’s your typical no-frills, no gimmicks first basic stage.
BATTLE ZONE 2
Blue blocks with the % marks are immovable.
BATTLE ZONE 3
The ice blocks dissipate when pushed against a wall or block. I like this stage.
BATTLE ZONE 4
The arrows determine the path of destruction. It’s very Super Bomberman-esque.
BATTLE ZONE 5
Those arrows affect block AND player movement — nice!
BATTLE ZONE 6
The arrow blocks here can only be pushed in the direction they’re pointing. The numbered blocks travel their respective number (i.e. 3 spaces). Very interesting, and rather different!
BATTLE ZONE 7
Teleporters! Bomberman is rolling over in his grave
BATTLE ZONE 8
Great gimmick here. Arrows guide block movement. Easy to kill yourself if you don’t watch it. When walking on arrows, they act like butter, sliding you in their set direction.
BATTLE ZONE 9
The blocks here can be pushed despite touching each other. They fly across and through the screen disappearing whether they’ve crushed someone or not. Arguably the most chaotic stage due to its potential of numerous blocks zooming by at break-neck speed in all directions!
BATTLE ZONE 10
A veritable smorgasbord of the other battle arenas. Good stuff.
D’OH!
Unfortunately, this mode is restricted to human players. Why they didn’t allow computer opponents is a mystery. But it’s better than nothing. Like Bomberman, 2 to 4 can play, with the win total required for a stage adjustable from 1 through 10.
To cap things off, a create-your-own-stage option is available.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Puzzle’n Desu! is too sweet
I love this game. The ability for a 4 player mode in the regular game and a Bomberman-esque 4 player “free for all” mode really makes this game stand out from the crowd. These games possess a purity I can’t help but love. They’re simply brilliant and brilliantly simple (yet complex). If you love pitting your logic skills to the test, and especially if you have gaming buds, hunt this gem down. From what I understand though, it’s rather scarce.
It’s not perfect, though. I am not a big fan of the timer. I feel like these action puzzle games benefit greatly when you’re able to take your sweet time and start contemplatively at the screen until inspiration strikes with the resolute “AH-HA!” Also didn’t like the fact that the 4-player battle mode is exclusive to humans only. I mean, it would be lovely to be able to play this mode on a lazy Tuesday night when it’s just you and your Super Nintendo. But at the end of the day, at least the mode is there as an option.
All in all, Puzzle’n Desu! truly rocks. And deserves a little more recognition in the retro gaming community. Highly recommended!
Dossun! Ganseki Battle is an awesome puzzle game. It feels like sort of a beta version of Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Not as good but for its time it was a damn fine puzzler. Let’s take a closer look.
The game intro reveals a demon trying to conquer the land (supposedly). Jeez, don’t these demons have anything better to do? At any rate, there isn’t much Japanese but interestingly enough there is a fan translated version floating out there. Not that you need it but it’s there if you want the full English experience.
This game has a unique battle system. Two ways to claim victory:
The opposing player’s well fills up
Their energy bar hits rock bottom
Energy bar? In a puzzler? Say whaaaa??
Like Puzzle Fighter, the attacker sends over a spiffy, er, attack.
Eliminating 3 or more like pieces have varying results:
Green Rocks: Sends forth a dragon (see above)
Red Scrolls: Fireballs
Yellow Swords: Piercing swords
Blue Potion: Replenishes your health slightly (if needed)
Purple Squares: No effect whatsoever
ONE PLAYER MODE
Select from 3 heroesBattle the numerous evil doersThe loser meets ol’ Grimsy
TWO PLAYER MODE
Every character is playable
TODAY’S SPECIAL
I like this cool effect
Most puzzle games have a special piece or power. Dossun is no different. When you have a special pellet stored, pressing R clears every purple square. Although the graphics could easily be confused for an early Mega Drive title, this visual effect is somewhat noteworthy.
DO A COMBO MEAL
Like fighting games, special moves are a good way to inflict damage but the best players utilizes devastating combos. The same applies here. While clearing 3 pieces at a time is fine and dandy, pulling off 3-plus chain reactions is the meal ticket. Diagonal matches yield the best results if you set yourself proper.
Observe this lethal chain. The green rocks match diagonally and disappear.
The yellow sword drops, connecting with 2 other swords.
The swords’ elimination drops the red scroll… forming a crushing 5-PIECE horizontal and diagonal red match to end the 3 hit chain.
PICK A FIGHT
After completing a big combo, the character enlarges and performs a fancy attack.
HANG IN THERE
Major attacks result in leaving the opposition hanging.
[By a moment! Desperate for changing, chasing after you… ahem, sorry -Ed.]
ANY REQUESTS?
There’s only one music theme throughout the entire game, and it can get tedious. When someone’s energy bar flashes, the music breaks into a frenzy, sounding much better and adding nicely to the tension. But the regular music is a bit “meh.”
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“It was ICE knowing ya!”
It’s essentially COLUMNS with a medieval fantasy battle theme. Dossun!Ganseki Battle really grew on me; I found myself saying “one more game” several times. It’s amazingly addicting. Sure the graphics and music are nothing to write home about but the gameplay is largely enjoyable and that’s what it’s all about. Definitely one of the finer puzzle games you could play on the Super Nintendo and one that should be in your collection if you like the genre even an iota.
Dev: Beam Software | Pub: Data East | May 1993 | 8 MEGS
As I write this it’s Halloween 2016. It brings back fond memories as exactly two years ago, I left work early Halloween 2014 due to being under the weather. That was a memorable day for a couple reasons. Number one, it marked 20 years since I experienced the greatest Halloween of my life (October 31st, 1994). And number two, it was the night I finally played Shadowrun. It’s been a game long on my to-play list, and on that rainy evening, with me being sick, I couldn’t think of a better game to start than Shadowrun. Even though it’s not a “Halloween” game in the vain of a Super Castlevania IV or Zombies Ate My Neighbors, it’s got a dreary and grim atmosphere that is great to play this time of the year. Prepare to immerse yourself in the morbid and sordid universe of Shadowrun.
YOU AWAKE ON A SLAB IN THE CITY MORGUE
Explosions are erupting all over the city.
It’s Seattle. The year is 2050. And civilization has devolved.
The game opens up with this rather intriguing bit. Two night shift workers load you, Jake Armitage, onto a slab in the city morgue. You’re apparently done for.
The slackers take off. Look, they didn’t even bother to shut the slab all the way in. What a bunch of assholes, eh? Just can’t find good help these days.
HOLY SHIT!IT’S ALIVE!Shouldn’t have drank so much…
Shaking off the cobwebs, you don’t have any memories of who you are or where you came from. It’s a race against time and technology as you fight for your life.
Pulling up the menu you have all you need at your fingertips.
Fun building up Jake’s skills
The hand cursor helps you to explore your environment. Move it around the screen and place it on items of interest. A little note will appear if further action can be taken.
A really cool feature Beam Software implemented was the use of the shoulder buttons. Yeah you can click on a button which brings up a menu to give you further choices, or you can examine or pick up by simply pressing L or R respectively. It saves an extra button press and is just convenient and makes the overall playing experience much more smooth than having to press extra buttons unnecessarily.
Don’t forget to check and raid the fridge. That’s rule number one in life and video games. For sure.
It’s easy to miss small items like this. Every piece of information is integral to your success, so make sure to comb each playing area thoroughly.
What’s inside Warehouse number 5? Hmmm.
You fling the door open and scare the living daylights out of the night shift workers. It’s a fun little moment that just pulls you in. Very effectively done.
I appreciate the mood and atmosphere of Shadowrun. Its cyberpunk universe, the detailed visuals and the isometric view. Makes you wish there were more games like this on the Super Nintendo.
Each new playing area brings with it a new view. Some screens are full screen while others are smaller. I love this — it brings a quirky, unique sense of ‘flavor’ to the game.
Heading out of the city morgue, you run into a strange lad roaming the streets. You call out to him and the following conversation ensues…
I love the portraits of the characters in this game. They add perfectly to the seediness of Seattle 2050 as this game envisions it.
An interesting aspect of Shadowrun is that you have preset talking points and can select from a list of topics to ask the various NPCs that appear throughout the game. Sometimes you have to broach a topic in order to unlock new topics. It was quite a unique system and lends a sense of discovery and deduction.
If one topic doesn’t bring about any results, try the next topic. I like the dialogue in this game, by the way. Really gives off an air of shadiness and bleakness.
You know a game’s dialogue is top-notch when you look forward to talking to every single last NPC. Here is another fun little interaction.
In a hurry to do what, fella? Certainly not hitting the gym, are we?
Go through the list of preset topics. Rinse and repeat. It may seem repetitive but it quickly grew on me and it somehow works for this game. I can’t imagine it any other way.
Hmm, not sure I trust him. But whatever the case may be, he’s definitely low ranking in the grand scheme of things. Leave him be to his newspaper and find bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, this guy doesn’t look like a shady character whatsoever…
[Someone say shady character? -Ed.]
Speaking of shady, Longhorn Jack… what a gimmick name.
More like Longhorn JAY, M I RITEHmmm. Very funny, Beam Software. Very funny
The NPC dialogue adds to the sense of dreadful urgency that runs rampant throughout Shadowrun. Very well done there, Beam Software.
The battles take place in real time. You aim a crosshair icon at a bad guy and fire away. Each hit either way brings a number point over the character’s head as to indicate the damage points incurred. Kill more bad guys to earn karma (think skill points in RPGs) and nuyen (money). The more karma you earn the better you can level up your skills and attributes.
Some battles take place inside buildings while other wars are waged in the middle of the street. As you run through the seedy streets of Seattle, you never know when some scumbag will pop out of nowhere to fire shots at your head. I love the battle music that plays for each gun fight.
Scumbags pop out of nowhere. From rooftops to dumpsters, you always have to watch your step. Love the way their carcasses litter the screen when you’re through with them!
Ride the train
I like these mini cut scenes whenever Jake travels. There’s one for a train, a chopper, an elevator, a boat, etc. It’s simple but an effective way to convey the feeling that you’re really traversing various parts of town.
I can’t imagine Shadowrun being anything but isometric. It just wouldn’t be the same if the perspective was, say, Link to the Past.
I just love how gritty and grimy the whole world of Shadowrun is. Really a nice little action adventure game to play at midnight with all the lights turned off!
This is an odd recurring character you will run into throughout to say the very least…
Um, okaaay…
Dog is integral to your quest
Upgrade your guns as you progress to stand a chance. There’s nothing like a dark alley gun fight, is there? Really gets the blood flowing… literally.
The game map isn’t too big, but is big enough to convey a real sense of being immersed in a dubious, underhanded world. You never really get too lost (at least I didn’t, anyhow) but there are enough interesting little nooks and crannies to be explored that really suck you into its twisted world.
Go to the bar to find out more information. You can also hire mercenaries! So even though you only control Jake, he can have up to 3 mercenaries trailing him at any point to help you in your quest. The computer AI on your mercenaries isn’t perfect, but it’s good enough to get the job done.
Hiring help is not mandatory but it sure helps Jake’s cause. They have some funky names too — my favorite name being “Dance With Clams.”
Love me the graveyard section! Zombies come crawling out the earth looking for a taste of human flesh. It’s slightly creepy and goes extremely well with this time of the year.
Oooh, creepy stuff!*shivers*
If you haven’t experienced playing Shadowrun at midnight with the lights turned off, you need to.
They tend to stay, eh? Nice subtle touch there!
My favorite occult-ish moment of the game is when you run into a nest of vampires. They’re hiding off in some big fancy house near a graveyard. Better come armed with some mercenaries in tow!
This key is difficult to spot, but critical to have
There are a few tricky moments here and there where if you miss a key item (pardon the pun) the game comes to a screeching halt. I always try to solve a game on my own first without resorting to a FAQ. It took me a while here until I realized there was a bronze key laying on the book shelf that was somewhat hard to make out at an initial glance. One of those “D’OH!” moments when you finally see it for the first time.
The boss battle with Dracula himself was a fun one, if not a little creepy. I hate the way he moves. It was unnatural and very stilted. Gave me the creeps…
Watch out for the ghouls too!Dracula’s tough. If only I had a hint…
Oh great. This big bastard guards this night club. But you got to find a way to somehow bust through. Hmmm…
Love the small rooms. It reminds me of EarthBound because some of the rooms take up half the size of the screen, or even less!
Shadowrun will suck you right into its fascinatingly squalid world.
I suppose no seedy underworld is complete without an equally seedy junkyard.
Hobos litter the area as does gun-toting mad men. It’s quite the ruthless and dog-eat-dog world. By the way, is there nothing better than surviving a fight with next to zero health remaining? It never fails to get the heartbeat racing a bit as you scramble around to find a health kit refill, or the like.
Make your way through this giant boat. I love the way the screen is mostly black and the only thing that is detailed are the green stairways. It’s really quite an artistic little game.
You gotta appreciate a video game that does things to differentiate it from the crowd. Shadowrun is definitely a unique title in the vast ocean of SNES goodness.
Another thrilling section, you can feel the pressure kicking in as you slowly uncover bit by bit the Jake Armitage mystery.
Time to head back!Battle your way through some scummy sewersYou damn right it did. Shame I gotta kill ya…WHAT.THE…Oh Shadowrun. You crazy game youBack to business buildings we goWhat did that one crazy guy say again…*KA-CHING*No one working the front desk. Bad sign…Let’s ride the elevator upRemember how you could shoot them? *wink*Some serious shit is going downCaught and corneredNo prisoners, no mercyWhoa!Clever little message. It was good for a chuckleDon’t let him escape!You done mess with the wrong guyGET TO DA CHOPPA!But is it over…Epic battleGUESS you’ll never KNOW…What the — !You know a game is good when you’re sad it ends
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Nintendo Power ranked it #48 on their Top 100 list
Shadowrun scored positive reviews with the critics. Well at least for the most part it did. EGM gave it scores of 7, 7, 6 and 6. GameFan rated it 89, 84, 80 and 80%. Super Play scored it 85%. It has a positive reputation within diehard SNES circles. It’s not your typical bright and cute Super Nintendo title, which is part of its appeal. There have been many talks over the years on which is better: the Genesis or SNES version of Shadowrun. Both play differently. I’ve never played the Genesis version myself, but I can say I love SNES Shadowrun. Not only is it a blast to play but I love the whole vibe of the game. There’s no teenage angst or love side story BS. It was just a man on the run fighting time, magic, monsters and unraveling the mystery of the puzzle piece by piece. Good stuff.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Shadowrun plunges you into a dark seedy underworld
Two years ago — Halloween 2014. I left work early on a dreary late afternoon due to losing my voice. I was bummed I wouldn’t be able to head out that night for Halloween shenanigans, but it worked out OK. There was nothing I wanted to do more than finally at long last firing up Shadowrun and seeing what it was all about. It’s a game my brother played to death over 20 years ago. I have fond memories of that Halloween night exploring the first few hours of this game. It was raining and I made sure to wait until after 9 PM when the trick-or-treaters had all gone home. Now it was nothing but me, Jake Armitage and the crazy sordid universe of Seattle 2050. All things considered, it turned out to be a pretty good Halloween. And on a side note, the following week I told my brother I was finally going through the game for myself, and he grew very nostalgic at the mere mention. Next thing I know we’re talking about deckers and Drake. This may sound silly but that’s the magic of video games. You can go 20+ years without playing or even thinking of a certain game, but the second you recall it, you’re transported back to a more innocent and carefree time in your life. A time when it was just taking out the trash, doing your homework and playing the latest and greatest 16-bit games. Good times.
Right away the game hooks ya!
I enjoyed upgrading Jake’s armor, guns and magic. I like how karma is awarded for kills which allows you to upgrade abilities such as shot accuracy and health. There is a bit of “farming” you can do in order to increase your karma. The gun sound effects are pretty weak but I love seeing the numbers pop up over their heads, letting me know how much damage I just inflicted. The visuals are not spectacular but I do like the little details and overall art style. I found myself getting lost a bit here and there, but it’s nothing too bad. Mainly I forgot to grab an item that forced me to be stuck. Each locale feels different from the other, and it’s fun to see what weird scene you’ll run into next. It’s a tight 15-20 hour adventure, so it’s just long enough to satisfy but not too long that it wears out its welcome. Combat isn’t the greatest as you just point the cursor and fire away, but it works for the game and serves its role. Shadowrun isn’t perfect by any stretch, but it really is rather one of a kind as far as Super Nintendo titles go. Cyberpunk, monsters, magic, mystery and noir! Hard to go wrong. Just remember, never ever cut a deal with a dragon.
Graphics: 7 Sound: 9 Gameplay: 8.5 Longevity: 8
Overall: 9.0
Gold Award
Sadly we never got Shadowrun II. Perhaps in the year 2050…
Halloween is almost here. It’s one of my favorite days of the year. And this game is perfect to play on Halloween night. In the late ’90s I bought Clock Tower for the PlayStation and played it to death (pardon the pun). It was a few years later that I discovered the first Clock Tower originated on the Super Famicom. Thanks to the efforts of some diehard SNES fanatics, the game has long since been translated into English for the rest of us to enjoy. And enjoy it we did. One of the true Halloween staples in any video gaming collection, Clock Tower delivers one creepy and tense adventure the likes of which few SNES games can claim!
The legend is born
Clock Tower combined two things I absolutely love. It resembles a horror movie — I like its creepy villain, SCISSORMAN, almost as much as Michael Myers — and it’s on my favorite system of all time, the Super Nintendo. What more could I ask for, right? Unfortunately, the game never received a North American release. By the time it came out in Japan on September 14, 1995, the SNES was quickly losing steam as the 32-bit machines gained more and more momentum. That and, of course, there was no chance (even with the Play It Loud! movement) that Clock Tower was going to get approved by Nintendo of America! What a shame it never saw American soil because this is one of the most unique and original efforts on the Super Nintendo. But thanks to the fan translation scene, we can now experience this macabre game in all its gory glory.
Here comes the boogeyman…
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love the HALLOWEEN series. Uncle Jimmy let me rent the first one back in 1989. I spent more than half the movie hiding behind the sofa with one hand covering my eyes. I even had a nightmare of Halloween‘s iconic madman, Michael Myers, later that night. And I was hooked. Go figure. I dreamt about someone turning the Halloween concept into a video game. I mean, how awesome would it be to take control of a protagonist who is constantly being chased by a masked maniac? That every room you enter he could be lurking in the shadows… watching and studying your every move… waiting for the right moment to jump out and slit your throat wide open. Clock Tower delivers that sense of dread and drama in spades!
What a thing of beauty
MY -FIRST FEAR- WITH CLOCK TOWER
This was my favorite PlayStation game
My first exposure to Clock Tower was in 1997. I’ll never forget it. From the moment I read its splendid three page ad in EGM #97 (August ’97), I was hooked. Seriously the best advertisement ever. I knew I had to buy the game then, and it was the only PlayStation game I ever cared enough to buy! The ad is so awesome that I am going to replicate parts of it below.
CRIMSON FOUNTAINS OF GORE
A bright plume of warm crimson rain erupted as the giant scissors rent the flesh of his next victim… this is certainly not the game for the timid or weak of stomach! From corpses at your bedroom door to half eaten bodies in the restroom, ASCII has packed Clock Tower to the belfry with some of the most gruesome and spectacular graphics of the year! Watch in horror as the limping gait of the immortal Scissorman approaches your present hiding place — only to see the bright fountain of your own blood if he happens to find you! Any horror fan will quickly recognize the brilliance of the programmer’s virtuoso performance in the lighting, shadowing, angles, and sheer volume of gruesome content! Lots of animation and full 3D polygons were used to bring the bloody, murderous surroundings to life. This, in conjunction with the well detailed backgrounds and characters, will have you at the edge of your seat — praying that you make it through the night!
THE HORROR OF SILENCE
The chilling sound of the banshee’s scream itself couldn’t have been more dreadful than the sound of the sheering scrape of sharpened steel blades sliding past each other — not to mention the wonderful effect of pure silence in some of the most chillingly tense scenes of the game. There’s something terribly dreadful in the sound of your own two feet echoing through some of the most profoundly evil halls ever wrought, and I couldn’t agree more with the programmers when they spoke of the “Terror of Sound” which they labored for in this game! ASCII’s purpose in the sound scheme of this game is fairly easy to understand… with sounds that aren’t there when they should be, sounds in impossible places, the chilling music of the chase, and the haunting scrape of the Scissorman himself as he stalks you with inhuman determination… they want to scare you out of your skin!
Of course, the voice-overs and sound effects of the surrounding environments are a beautiful addition to the already impressive audio display. The tightly knit unison of background noise, voices, sound of movement, music and silence create a living auditory atmosphere that will draw you into the world of terror on the screen right before you.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
Talk about losing your head…
In a game where one false move could easily mean the difference between escape and grisly death, control is of paramount importance. This is another area where Clock Tower excels! From fleeing down dark corridors and hiding in shower stalls, to hurling chairs and brawling with your would be assailant, the full range of movement offered by Clock Tower will leave you breathless with the fight or flight instinct. For those who like to hide, just try to avoid hiding in the same spot too many times in a row. Scissorman has a limited IQ, but he’s not that stupid!
Also remember to check every nook and cranny for items that you may be able to use later. With a little help, you might just live to see the light of tomorrow.
Next time use a napkin, will ya?
A series of brutal murders have signaled the return of one of the most terrifying killers in the history of Romsdaaren, Norway — Scissorman! Terror gripped the hearts of the mixed party of ten as they finally reached the unholy walls of the Barrow’s family mansion in England. No one could have imagined the unspeakable horrors that lay behind the infamous Scissorman case when the malevolent butcherings had begun. Now, the dreadful search for the answers had culminated into a lynching party that brought them all here, to the very doorstep of Hell itself. Would they finally find the key to send this twisted soul back to the nether regions of death that had so maliciously spat him into their lives? Only time will tell…
EGM gave it scores of 8.5, 8.0, 8.0 and 6.0 in issue #98Supercuts’ Employee of the Month
I have such great and fond memories with this game. As I said it was the only PlayStation game I ever bothered to buy. For a while there in ’98 it was all that I played. I used it to scare the living daylights out of my then 10 year old cousin, David. Uncle Jimmy, the one who rented Halloween for me back in ’89, used to visit us a lot back in the late ’90s. David would always come to watch me play this, only to run out screaming whenever Scissorman gave chase. Ahhh, the good old days eh? So when I found out Clock Tower originated on the SNES, I simply had to get my hands on it.
THE STORY GOES…
For some reason that sentence gives me the creeps“Oh Lotte, can’t I admire the trees for a bloody bit?”“Would I ever lie to you, Jennifer?”
There’s something about the way her finger is pointing that inexplicably gives me the heebie jeebies. Ms. Mary definitely has the low key witch vibe about her…
And surprise surprise — one by one they perishThis game mastered the art of creating tensionYour mom had 9 months and she chose Lotte?!Clock Tower excels at building up the suspenseYup… shit just hit the fanUse the cursor to check every inch of every roomWhat a demonic looking tree. Reminds me of DoomYou might wanna think about saving yourself!And a terrifying video game icon is born ^_^Sometimes ya can’t help but feel yer being watchedI mean, what’s the worst that could happen, right?The repeating “I’ll get chu!” voice-over is pretty creepyI hope PETA isn’t reading thisThese tense bits bring me to the edge of my seatWell said, Ron Simmons. Well said“… DAMN!” -Ron SimmonsWho knew a 16-bit game could be so scary?This is SO Jamie Lee Curtis-Michael Myers circa 1978Surely it will be a safe haven up there, no?SON OF A BITCH!Aw poor Jennifer. She’s pretty much screwed hereIn the red zone? Then you’re in the dead zoneThen again, hiding doesn’t always guarantee results
“Puzzles” in Clock Tower are quite elementary [Good thing for you! Ha! -Ed.]
No Jennifer. That’s just bird poop, my dearI’ve seen a horror movie or two. Hit the lights!Dang that’s quite a big pocket you got there Jenny!Looks like a meat locker, but what’s that inside?Scissorman isn’t the only threat in this mansion…Hmmm, you’ll need a special item to kill the bugs…Something shiny can be seen at the bottom…Or is it simply part of a greater plan?1, 2… HE’S COMING FOR YOU…Ah, young naive Jennifer, bless her heartShe’s a creepy old wretch in an effectively subtle wayGirl don’t do it![OH NO YOU DIH-ENT! *removes earrings* -Shaniqua]Yes Jennifer, take it and SPLASH IT IN HER FACE![Uh, back to our movie -Ed.] [MMMM HMM -Shaniqua]I hope Jen has a character arc like Laurie Strode didNot two feet away sits a deranged, unkempt savageWhatever IT is, could it be even worse than this guy?!One of the most cryptic messages in SNES historyI promise I’ll never make fun of your name again!I saw a mad man limping around with HUGE shears!YES! FINALLY! JENNY’S CHARACTER ARC!Aw, Jenny has grown up before our very eyes *sniff*
[THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT GIRL! -Shaniqua]What happens next? Find out on your own! What secrets are tucked away in this mansion of unspeakable horrors? What’s the deal with Scissorman? Is someone pulling the strings? Was it Ms. Mary, or something far more demonic? Will you survive the grisly night to see the light of day? CLOCK TOWER awaits! Turn off the lights, crank up the sound and say a prayer…
WORKING THAT ROOM LIKE A PRO, BABY
Quick, hide that shoulder before Scissorman comes!Not Halloween theme epic, but does its job wellNo other SNES game offers this kind of tensionWhat a drama queen, that Scissorman
WHAT THE CRIT — FANS SAID
Normally this is where I’ll put the game’s scores according to the “Super Three” (EGM, GameFan and Super Play Magazine — if applicable). But with Clock Tower being a special fan translated repo, I’ll cite some fan comments instead. The following haunting stories come from various gamers who have encountered Scissorman’s wrath over the years…
Clock Tower creates an underlying wave of fear throughout the game’s course, and there are certain scenes in the game that may act as a proverbial moon to bring in this terrifying tide. Clock Tower doesn’t pull any punches, and the horrifyingly realatmosphere of the Barrows’ mansion had me paranoid for at least a week! In fact, one of my friends who I first played the game with noted that the scariest part of the game was that almost everything in it can easily be connected to real life. Compounding off this, my first playthrough of the game was at a small party I held for six or seven close friends, and with the exception of one (she’s oddly impervious to that sort of shock value), we were all scared out of our wits. Clock Tower is just cool that way -Amai Yuuwaku
Gloomy and ominous, Clock Tower is a wonderful experience for any fan of interactive horror, and well worth playing through whether as a longtime fan of the series or a wide-eyed newcomer -Tachibana Ukyo
After playing through it for only a meager half-hour, I know that I am never going back to it! I am a bit tense when it comes to Hitchcock movies, and I must say, this game has a lot of Hitchcock-esque horror elements. Clock Tower doesn’t make the game scary with blood and gore, no sir. It’s just the sounds and sudden happenings that cause you to psychologically snap (a lot like Hitchcock movies!) -Alain Garamonde
Clock Tower: the story of hope, betrayal and survival. The game revolves around Jennifer and a couple of her friends who get adopted by a family. They get to the mansion in the woods in hopes of a new, happy life. All seem well, until the group gets split up. That’s when they start to meet Scissorman. Instead of a happy life, what they got was a heart-pounding adventure. Their test was a test of wit and resourcefulness against the wrath of Scissorman -xTurksx
I’m never scared by any horror video games. Never ever. So my friend bet me $20 at my birthday party that I would be scared by this game. I took that bet and I definitely lost that bet. This game is absolutely scary -Windscar18
I didn’t know what to expect when I tried this game out. I found myself in control of a teenage girl all alone in a huge mansion, so I figured I was meant to go exploring. I went walking down the nearby hall, passing a couple of doors when all of a sudden this creepy music starts playing! Just like in a horror movie! So of course, like a total imbecile, I explored the door I was in front of when it began to play. I found myself in a hazy bathroom, and looked at the various fixtures. The only thing the cursor responded to was the closed shower curtains. So again like an imbecile, I went to look. The tub was full, but the person in it was hanging from her wrists from the shower curtain’s bar. Apparently it was one of the girl’s friends, but I didn’t have long to think about that. Suddenly this figure jumped out of the bathtub, brandishing a huge pair of scissors! It was a blue-skinned dwarfish being in a schoolboy’s outfit, with a four-foot-pair of scissors. This was the beginning of my Clock Tower experience… -The Manx
I hate this game. I can’t tell you how much I do. That may be misleading, but I hate this game in a I’m-too-scared-to-turn-it-on way, not the I-don’t-want-to-play way. I’ve played Clock Tower for PlayStation. Clock Tower for the SNES is 4 times as good. This game really messed with my mind, and it reminded me of Maniac Mansion in its control scheme, but that’s a good thing. The interface is easy to control and actually fun, as you run through rooms chased by the maniacal Scissorman, trying to find a place to hide, with his shears getting louder and louder as he dogs your steps, the clicking on objects getting more frantic as you realize he’s just one room behind you… and then SNAP! DEAD END! -Nevergrace
I type this as I look out my door on Christmas Eve. He’s coming. I can hear it. It’s been about two whole days since I’ve played the game, but I am still rather leery -Lord Flamingo
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Grisly and grim, Clock Tower hits all the right notes
My fellow gamers above said it best. I echo many of their sentiments. Have you ever had one of those special gaming experiences you’ll never forget? Perhaps it was, in addition to the game itself, the weather, the season in your own life, or the place where it happened. Christmas 2010. I was sleeping over at my parents’ huge two story house, and that was the first time I went through Clock Tower from start to finish. Playing til 4:30 AM, every bloody sound that emanated from either the game or the house had me on the edge of my seat and peeking over my shoulder with much trepidation. It’s been a long time since I’ve been a little kid, but that night Scissorman sure made me feel like one. With multiple endings, a sinister masked maniac and a simple yet compelling story, the game draws you in like few others and then spits you out leaving you feeling exasperated, a bit uneasy, and completely satisfied.
The perfect SNES game to play on Halloween night
Simply put, there is no other game quite like Clock Tower on the SNES. That alone makes it noteworthy. Throw in the fact how well it was executed and what you have here is one uniquely special game. Scissorman is easily one of the most memorable villains in SNES history. He waits in the shadows and pops out at the most (in)opportune moments. Grisly and horrifying deaths, high tension cat and mouse chase scenes, and not knowing for sure where Scissorman lurks makes Clock Tower great! The graphics are well done and give the game an ominous atmosphere. The sound will raise the hair up on the back of your neck. It’s not too long but the nine endings give incentive to replay. After that night at my parents’, I met up with my cousin David the following day. Yes, the same one I scared with PlayStation Clock Tower more than a decade ago. I told him how I spent much of last night playing the original Clock Tower on Super Nintendo and what an awesome experience that was, with the whipping rain outside, and I swear, just the mere mention of SCISSORMAN gave poor David a horrid flashback. Heck, I don’t blame him. Just saying Scissorman out loud gives me the heebie jeebies. Do what you gotta do to play this game and be sure to turn off the lights, lock your doors and pray for mercy!
Graphics: 8.5 Sound: 9 Gameplay: 8.5 Longevity: 7
Overall: 8.5
Double Silver Award
THE SCISSORWOMAN?!?!
Imagine taking her home to mommy
In 2007 a Japanese horror film was released based on a rumor that ran rampant throughout early 1980’s Japan — the Slit (or Severed) Mouth Woman! This horrible disfigured lady apparently roamed the streets of rural Japan looking for children to answer her one simple, deadly question: “AM I PRETTY?” The wrong response was met with grave consequences. Through comic books and magazines this became a popular urban myth. It became such a hysteria that ALL students were forbidden to go home alone and groups were formed for safety. There was even an incident where a lady chasing some kids was struck by a car. Her mouth was revealed to have been slit from ear to ear! Was it the Slit Mouth Woman?
Them eyes creep the hell out of me
This mysterious and deranged woman wore a surgical mask to cover her scar. In addition, she wielded a giant pair of scissors similar to Scissorman. Was Clock Tower influenced in any way by the Slit Mouthed Woman urban legend of 1980’s Japan? We don’t know for sure, but I can tell you this, the 2007 movie is creepy as hell! I saw it with my cousins (again, poor David) and they could barely finish it! As most Japanese horror films tend to be, and much like Clock Tower the game itself, the movie is something of a slow burn. But once it gets going, shit hits the fan. Some of the scenes still haunt me to this day. Even I felt a little uneasy… there’s something about the movie that makes you feel terribly unsettled…
Aw hell no
The movie is known as “Carved.” There was also a sequel. It wasn’t too bad for a sequel, but much like Halloween itself, the original will always be the best. I recommend this film to horror buffs. It’s sick, twisted and if you happen to love Scissorman as much as I do, this is the closest we might ever get to seeing Scissorman in movie form. Who doesn’t love a good old fashion ghost story urban legend? I don’t know why but any movie taking place in rural Japan is automatically 50 times scarier and creepier than any American horror film. Those Japanese artists have some sick minds. Carved is a solid slasher and the fact that it’s based off a real Japan urban legend “Kuchisake Onna” makes it all the more unsettling and spooky.
YOU DAMN SKIPPYGoing to the library as a kid was awesome
Growing up there weren’t many things better than going to the local library. Unlike a trip to the toy or video game store, with the library you knew you were never coming home empty-handed. A journey to the library meant wild adventures with seafaring pirates, chocolate factory crazed CEOs and magical phantom tollbooths. Your imagination had no limits and each book took you somewhere exciting and new. My childhood is filled with good memories of heading to the local library with my parents and my best friend, Nelson.
These books shaped a generation of readers
For kids growing up in the mid ’90s, GOOSEBUMPS was a phenomenon. It was a monthly horror series for kids. The books were not really scary but R.L. Stine found lightning in a bottle. Dark humor, twist endings and spooky happenings that was as addictive as it was macabre. Many kids in the mid ’90s became readers because of R.L. Stine’s tentpole series. Because of Goosebumps I came to love reading. Not only that but I became interested in writing as well. I am far from the only ’90s kid for which that rings true. 20+ years ago all the kids were reading them and discussing the latest chapter (excuse the pun) in the famed franchise out on the playground. The writing wasn’t Hemingway or Fitzgerald, and there was a certain cheesiness to them, but in a way, it was all part of the charm. And a sign of the times. It was more about the feelings that these books evoked. Seeing a new Goosebumps book on the shelf sent a quick shiver down your spine. Be it mutant worms or sinister scarecrows, the books gave kids a rush like few other books did.
THE BIRTH OF A MONSTER
“Hear a knock on the door and the night begins…”
It all began in July 1992. Right away the embossed title and spooky artwork grabbed my attention. At the time there really wasn’t anything else quite like it. WELCOME TO DEAD HOUSE. Oh wait, is it called Goosebumps, or Welcome to Dead House? And just who is that creepy bedraggled figure in the window there? So many questions raced through my mind. And so too for Amanda and Josh, the two protagonists of the story. Arriving at their new home in Dark Falls, they can’t help but feel a strange sense of dread about their neighborhood. Despite being the middle of July, there seems to be an artificial darkness created by massive, overhanging tree limbs. Dark brown leaves and shadows are everywhere. Just who is that ghost in the house that Amanda saw? And with this classic first entry, the cult series was off and running.
Someone took going green too seriously
STAY OUT OF THE BASEMENT was its second entry in the series.
It’s a lovely warm winter day in California. Siblings Margaret and Casey Brewer are outside playing frisbee. Margaret flings the frisbee her dad’s way as he passes through the backyard. Mr. Brewer gruffly declines, stating he has too much work to do in the basement. But, what exactly does he do in the basement, anyhow? Neither Margaret nor Casey knows, but something is happening down there…
Ever since he got fired from PolyTech, their dad has buried himself away in the basement. Slaving away at all hours of the night, he’s been experimenting with plants. Once, Margaret tried to get a sneak peek at her father’s laboratory, only for him to fire her a stone cold glare, yelling STAY OUTTA THE BASEMENT!
MONSTER BLOOD is codename for MUTAGEN…
Goosebumps returned in September 1992 with its third entry, Monster Blood. It opens with 12 year old Evan Ross being dropped off at his creepy old aunt Kathryn’s for a few days. He soon bumps into Andy, a cute 12 year old girl in the neighborhood, who asks him to accompany her into town to pick up an early birthday present for her cousin. All too happy to oblige, Evan joins her as the two end up at a toy store in town called Wagner’s Novelties and Sundries. There they find a metal can with the words MONSTER BLOOD written on it. Naturally, the shopkeeper warns them not to buy it but they insist and pandemonium soon ensues.
An excerpt from Night of the Living Dummy
Kris rearranged her pillows, then glanced across the room to the window. The dummy’s face was half covered in shadow now. But the eyes glowed as if he were alive. And they stared into hers as if they were trying to tell her something. Why does he have to grin like that, Kris asked herself, trying to rub away the prickly feeling on the back of her neck. She pulled up the sheet, settled into the bed, and turned on her side, away from the wide, staring eyes. But still, even with her back turned, she could feel them gazing at her. Even with her eyes closed and the covers pulled up to her head, she could picture the shadowy, distorted grin, the unblinking eyes. Staring at her. Staring. Staring. She drifted into an uncomfortable sleep, drifted into yet another nightmare. Someone was chasing her…
I became a hopeless fanatic after reading this one
Goosebumps was quickly turning into a household name. Initially, I purposely avoided it. I was a quirky kid: if something became too popular and I was not there in the beginning as a fan, then I hated hopping on the bandwagon. So while everyone at my school was raving about Goosebumps, I stubbornly held out. That all changed one fateful day in late ’93. It was reading time in Mr. G’s 5th grade class. I chose The Girl Who Cried Monster. Figured it couldn’t hurt to read a few pages. A few pages turned into the entire book. It was a spin-off on the classic tale The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Lucy is obsessed with monsters. Late one night, in search of her roller blades, Lucy gets locked in when the librarian closes up shop. She never realized how spooky the library can be until she found herself shrouded in its dark, twisted corridors. That’s when she discovers a horrifying truth: Mr. Mortman is a monster!
Sometimes it pays to give into the hype
I’ll never forget standing there that day in 5th grade, staring at Mr. G’s books trying to pick one to read for silent reading time. I saw The Girl Who Cried Monster near the top of the shelf and finally succumbed. I never looked back.
My all time favorite Goosebumps book
October 1993. In time for Halloween, The Haunted Mask is one of the greatest Goosebumps books of all time. It tells the tale of Carly Beth: a shy, overly trusting, reserved girl bullied by some guys at school. Carly Beth is often a target for torment. After being scared yet again by the bullies, Carly Beth decided it was time to deliver a little payback. Riding into town she heads for the local costume shop. Distraught that it’s closed for the evening, fate stepped in. The mysterious owner of the store opened the door, ushering her in. As the owner tends to his shop, Carly Beth stumbles into the backroom where she finds the most hideous and grotesque mask one could ever hope to see. The owner refuses to sell her the one she wants, but she throws her money at him and takes off. After racing home she puts the mask on. It feels horribly warm and flesh-like. Her voice changes as well as even her demeanor when adorning the foul mask. The more she put it on, the harder it became to take off. What follows is an unforgettable Halloween night of mischief, revenge and terror. Steve and Chuck get the scare of their lives, and Carly Beth relishes her ultimate conquest. However, Halloween is now over… and the mask justwon’t come off. Packed with Halloween atmosphere, The Haunted Mask is arguably R.L. Stine’s finest work.
This one creeped me out as a kid
By December 1993 there wasn’t a single kid who didn’t have Goosebumps fever. The last entry that year was The Werewolf of Fever Swamp. One of the gnarliest covers in the series, the book opens with this chilling intro:
We moved to Florida during Christmas vacation. A week later, I heard the frightening howls in the swamp for the first time. Night after night, the howls made me sit up in bed. I would hold my breath and wrap my arms around myself to keep from shivering. I would stare out my bedroom window at the chalk-colored full moon. And I would listen. What kind of creature makes such a cry? I’d ask myself. And how close is it? Why does it sound as if it’s right outside my window? The wails rose and fell like police car sirens. They weren’t sad or mournful. They were menacing. Angry. They sounded like a warning.
Another classic cover
You Can’t Scare Me opened up 1994 with a bang. The 15th entry in the franchise, it sported a strikingly creepy cover that you couldn’t help but stare long and hard at. The aesthetic of the design is perfect. From the embossed title to the memorable artwork to the cheesy little tagline, each book’s cover was special in its own way.
Courtney is a total show-off. She thinks she’s so brave and she’s always making fun of Eddie and his friends. But Eddie’s had enough. Eddie is going to scare Courtney once and for all. And he’s got the perfect plan. He’s going to lure her down to MUDDY CREEK. Because Eddie knows she believes in that silly rumor about the monsters. Mud monsters that live in the creek. It’s too bad Eddie doesn’t believe the rumors…
Thrills, chills and spills…
#16, One Day At HorrorLand, still haunts me to this day. As a little kid I always fancied amusement parks and small town carnivals. It always spooked me to think… what if the attraction site holds a terrible secret… a secret no one is supposed to ever know. What if there was a bloody murder or mishap years ago that haunts the place? I mean, working in a carnival has got to drive one a bit nutty. Who knows what kind of death trap we could be stepping in? One Day At HorrorLand examines those childhood fears and more.
When the Morris family got lost trying to find Zoo Gardens Theme Park, they stumbled onto another amusement park instead. Never seen or heard of before, there are no lines, no crowds and no hassle at HorrorLand. It seems to be everything one could ask for: killer rides and none of the wait. But as the Morris family is about to find out, the rides are killer indeed. Because there’s something weird about the rides at HorrorLand…
Looking at the back cover was such good times
One of my favorite things about Goosebumps was reading the back cover. It always sported a lovely caption along with prose that made you want to read the whole book in one sitting right then and there. But the best part was down at the bottom. It actually revealed the title of next month’s entry! Why I’m Afraid of Bees, #17 in the series, is one I will never forget. My best friend Nelson received the book one cold morning. Nelly and I sat across the room from each other. I saw his jaw drop as he read the back cover. What could it be? Nelly showed me the back cover but being across the room I couldn’t quite make it out. That’s when Nelson flipped to the end of the book where there was a page with bigger text. And there I saw it.
Mind.Officially.Blown
At that point I knew about sequels in the world of movies and video games. But I never saw a sequel to a book before. Mind you I was 10 at the time and not the biggest book connoisseur, but yeah. It just blew my mind that R.L. Stine was penning a sequel to one of the most iconic books in his famed franchise. It gave Nelson and me great hope that there may be sequels for other greats in the months to come, such as Night of the Living Dummy and The Haunted Mask. (We got our wish, by the way).
Wasn’t it facing the OTHER way a moment ago?
#20 in the series holds a distinct soft spot in my heart. I have always been big on round numbers and coming out in May 1994, it was the last book order of 5th grade. Heading into the summer with the latest Goosebumps entry sounded like a pretty bang up way to kickstart one’s summer. And one of the coolest things about these books was hoping and wishing that R.L. Stine would write one centered around a certain monster or nightmare you were particularly fond of. For me, it was scarecrows. I’d always been fascinated by them; the idea that evil spirits could possess them was a scary thought. With their hideous burlap faces and twisted bodies, scarecrows are the last thing I want to stand next to under a full moon. No thank you!
Not as great as the first, but an admirable effort
October 1995. The long awaited sequel to The Haunted Mask finally arrives, a full two years later. This time, Steve (the bully from the first book) finds a horrible mask and it latches onto him like a face hugger. Yeah, sure, it makes Steve the king of scares on this Halloween night, but the problem is, the longer Steve wears the decrepit mask, the older and older his body feels…
R.L. STINE BEFORE GOOSEBUMPS
Taboo stuff to us back in the day
In the early ’90s it was a weekly tradition for my mom to take me and my best friend, Nelson, to our local library. On our way to the children’s section we had to pass by the aisle containing teen novels, displayed in movable glass panels. Their cover would stick out and you could see some of the books. One day in late ’92 Nelson and I were strolling by when we caught sight of a cover so incredibly disturbing and creepy that it would forever haunt us. A high school cheerleader, possessed by an evil spirit, clutches her pom pom. But there was something eerie and unnatural about the pom pom. We did a double take and realized there was a skull staring back at us. Nelson and I, in our typical exaggerated dorkiness, looked at each other, looked back at the book cover, then looked back at one another with our mouths wide open. We forced ourselves to creep toward the teen section to get a closer look. It stood high on the top glass panel as not to be touched. He dared me to read it. Naturally, I countered by double dog daring him. Finally, after some back and forth ribbing, we agreed to call it a tie. Maybe one day we’ll both read it, but for now, hey, we were only 9 years old…
A haunting childhood image indeed
R.L. Stine’s teen horror novels from that point on became the stuff legends were made of. Nelson and I would peek at the covers whenever we went to the library, but neither of us dared to even pick one up. We definitely made them out to be scarier than they were, but it was all part of the fun of being a kid and being best friends with someone who also loved monsters and horror as much as you did. Throughout ’93 and ’94 it became sort of a running joke between the two of us to see who would read the first teen horror novel. Nelson and I both saw Stine’s teen novels as Goosebumps on steroids. While they scared me as a kid, that didn’t stop me from admiring the covers whenever I stopped by the book store or the library. One of the most gripping and memorable covers was CURTAINS. The image of the lady trying to stab the guy is one that has never left me. These teen novels seemed legitimately disturbing, especially when you were 9 or 10. Even more than 20 years later, most of their art covers are still firmly embedded in my mind.
To this day the covers remain embedded in my soul
THE NEXT LEVEL OF FEAR
Still waiting for someone to turn this into a movie!
Fall 1995. I just began the 7th grade. It was silent sustained reading (SSR) time in my language arts class. I thumbed through my teacher’s library of books, trying to find something decent to pass the time. That’s when I first stumbled upon The Babysitter. It’s actually one of the older books R.L. Stine wrote. The Babysitter tells the awful tale of a high school babysitter being stalked by a stranger in the night. Creepy stuff. The back had the best description:
From the minute Jenny accepted the Hagen babysitting job, she knew she had made a mistake. First there was the dark and disheveled Hagen house, moaning and groaning with her every step. Then the crank phone calls started. “Hey babe. Are you all alone? COMPANY’S COMING.” When Jenny discovered a creepy neighbor prowling in the backyard and a threatening note in her backpack, she realized this wasn’t just a harmless game. But who would want to hurt her? What kind of maniac wanted to scare Jenny… to death?
I love this book and actually reread it about six years ago. It holds up well; I believe it’s perhaps Stine’s finest work. Published in the summer of 1989, it also has the distinction of being one of his earliest efforts. The Babysitter made ya think twice, even thrice, about babysitting.
SEND IN THE CLONES!
Talk about shop ’til ya drop. Sheesh…
As with anything else that catches fire, inevitably you’ll get some clones popping up in an attempt to get their own slice of the pie. Goosebumps inspired a string of horror novel series for kids. The first I can recall was Betsy Haynes’ Bone Chillers. Even the title was embossed! There was no shame. The Bone Chillers series opened with Beware the Shopping Mall and ran for a solid 20-plus entries. Of all the clones, I liked this one the most. I’m particularly fond of Frankenturkey. It’s as absurd as it is abominable. Like the other clones, I never chose Bone Chillers over Goosebumps, but they were a decent alternative whenever the latest Goosebumps book was checked out at the library. Hell, there was even a 13 episode run of Bone Chillers on ABC television in the mid-late ’90s. Not bad, Miss Haynes, not bad at all.
The art is Mystery Theatre 3000 material
Ah, Shadow Zone. My least favorite of the clones, it does hold a special spot in my heart, though. My mom took me and Nelson to the library as usual one day, and we saw Shadow Zone sitting there. Another clone, I thought to myself, and I know Nelson thought the same. There’s something unspeakably awesome about discovering something alongside your best friend. The books themselves weren’t very good. They seemed to lack the charm of Goosebumps. The artwork was also quite awful. The Goosebumps covers were more often hit than miss, but Shadow Zone had some terribly unappealing art Nevertheless, Shadow Zone was a sign of the times: a time when seemingly everyone and their brother was hopping on the youth horror novel bandwagon. If nothing else, it gave us plenty of choices to choose from.
“PRECIOUSSSSSSS…”
Deadtime Stories. Again with the popular embossed letters, this series was written by the Cascone sisters. I felt it fell somewhere in-between Bone Chillers and Shadow Zone. It wasn’t bad, but it was not my favorite of the clones either. It was just… kinda there. They did have some pretty badass covers, though, so I’ll give them that much. The Faerie Tale one sticks out in mind… it was genuinely creepy to see back in the day, and even now it remains a bit unsettling to look at.
That’s Chucky if I ever saw him. So bloody blatant…Tom B. Stone. So hilariously b-movie epic
Finally, we have Graveyard School. They were unique in the sense that all the stories revolved around the students of Graveyard School. It was cool to see some sort of connection from one book to the next. Plus, as a kid I got a huge kick out of the author’s fake name, Tom B. Stone. Oh Mr. Stone, you are a funny one, good sir. I was not a huge fan, though. Like Deadtime Stories it was just kind of there for me. Still, not a bad read from time to time when Goosebumps was checked out.
Tom was clearly ‘stoned’ writing it. Sorry
AND A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO…
The stuff nightmares are made of
I would be gravely remiss if I didn’t give a special mention to SCARY STORIES to Tell in the Dark. Published in 1981, it’s one of those infamous books we saw in bookstores growing up that we wanted to pick up but were too scared to. I finally read through it in the 4th grade. And simply put, it scared the shit out of me. The stories were as disturbing as the twisted artwork itself. It seemed like something that crawled straight out of hell. Those eerie black and white drawings are firmly embedded in my soul. If you grew up in the ’80s and ’90s, you probably have a memory of Scary Stories as well. It was just one of those infamous books that everyone knew about. It was damn near mythical.
Perhaps the most haunting image of them all
The one story that haunts me most, as well as many others, is the one about the lady who got bit by a spider. A red spot appears on her left cheek. She thinks nothing of it. One day she begins scratching it because it’s so itchy. The spot pops and out comes crawling dozens of baby spiders. Ugh. The drawing still creeps me out to this day. This was the story my friends and I always referred to whenever we talked about Alvin Schwartz’s Scary Stories book. In fact, they’re making a movie about it. I’m excited to see how it turns out. If it’s half as disturbing as the book was, it will be a mega-hit! Do our childhood proud, Guillermo Del Toro!
Goosebumps played a big role during my childhood. Not only did they cement me as an avid reader, but it grew my love for horror. Goosebumps came during a special period in my life. Right around 1993 and ’94 when the SNES, Saturday morning cartoons and toys were all running wild — what a great time to be a kid. My old best friend Nelson and I used to have friendly competitions where we’d see which one of us could read the latest book each month first. Then we would discuss our thoughts the next day out on the playground. It was all part of the fun. Talk to any kid who grew up during the mid ’90s and they’re sure to fondly recall Goosebumps. Yeah, it was a little cheesy. But there is no denying the success the franchise enjoyed and the profound impact it had on a generation of kids who are now grown adults. Thanks in big part to R.L. Stine, we came to love books and things that go bump in the night. Simply put, Goosebumps struck lightning in a bottle, and I’m lucky to have lived through that era. Looking back, it was truly a magical time.
It was nice reading all the books again 14 years agoThanks for the memories, R.L. StineWe’ll never forget thee!Whoa! That’s one sick mash-up
Halloween. One of my favorite times of the year, October brings to mind so many fond memories. I love Halloween — the ghoulish sights and sounds, the trick or treating tomfoolery, the spooky atmosphere, watching horror movies on a rainy night in the dark, playing scary video games and so forth. I just love everything about it. Hell, Halloween is one of my favorite movies of all time. Tonight I’m proud to share three different stories all related to Halloween. So kick back, grab a cold one and enjoy…
But first, click here as the theme accompanies the text to follow:
THE NIGHT HE CAME HOME
Thanks, Uncle Jimmy
In 1989 my uncle took me to a local mom and pop shop called Video Mart. The box art of HALLOWEEN captivated my six year old imagination. It was my favorite holiday. And I always had a thing for horror, even at six. My uncle was the cool, laid back type, so he obliged, renting the film thinking I could handle it.
I ended up watching the film largely behind my couch, and that night I had a nightmare of Michael Myers chasing me. I became a life long fan from that point on. Go figure.
There isn’t a Halloween that goes by where I don’t pop in at least one of the Halloween films. Besides, there’s something else that will forever connect me with the famed horror franchise…
Creepy…
So what is Halloween? For those living under a rock for the last nearly 40 years…
It’s a freaking classic, that’s whatIt always happens in a sleepy town…
Made and released in 1978 on a shoestring budget, it went on to win the hearts of horror fans everywhere, plus critical acclaim. It had a classic mysterious villain, a great lead in Jamie Lee Curtis and took place in the fictional sleepy midwestern town of Haddonfield, Illinois. And in one night, Michael Myers turned Haddonfield into his own personal bloody playground.
COMING TO GET ‘CHA!He’s there one second…… and gone the next…You never know where he might pop upPerhaps right in your own backyard!An unrelenting machine and a force of natureGAWD DAMNIT, BEHIND YOU, BITCH!An infamous scene. So damn spookyThe boogeyman haunted many of us growing upAnother classic, iconic sceneLock your doors and hide under the bed… the boogeyman cometh!
HUNTING THE SHAPE
Nelson and I were best buds from Kindergarten-7th grade. That’s when I moved. We reconnected in the 2000s. Over the years we’ve kept in touch and although we’re no longer best friends, we have history of over 25 years. It’s one of those things where we may go weeks or even months without contact, but whenever we get back in touch it’s like we never left.
Two months ago I decided to visit ole Nelly for the weekend so we could catch up and hang out. We set out to visit Disneyland since it was about 30 minutes away from his place. Yup, weekend at Nelly’s.
Driving on the way to Nelson’s, my heart stopped when I saw a striking neighborhood that rang some serious deja vu bells in my head. As my car rumbled on down the road I couldn’t help but burn a hole through my rear view mirror as I desperately tried to steal a glimpse at what I just drove by. Was it, could it be? No way… I passed a few traffic lights before finally pulling over. I just had to find out if my gut was right or not before heading to Nelson’s. Busted out my phone and typed into Google:
“HALLOWEEN 1978 FILMING LOCATIONS”
A website came up, and an address in South Pasadena was given. My hands were shaking as I punched said address into Google Maps.
HOLY SHIT.
“1.8 miles away.”
I had just drove by one of the iconic Halloween filming locations! HADDONFIELD IN THE FLESH! The Halloween super geek in me was coming out big time. What were the odds that my childhood best friend (who also loved the Halloween franchise) would turn out to live 3 miles away from “Haddonfield” ? It was a moment of true serendipity. I texted Nelson and said I’d be coming 30 minutes late. It was a personal pilgrimage I simply had to brave for myself solo first.
And this is what I found that fateful day…
Holy crap, there I stood, at the very location nearly 40 years later!
After geeking out (and possibly even vlogging the moment), I drove the 3 miles over to Nelson’s. I showed him the pictures (and possibly video) I took. He was marking out too. He moved to LA about 7 months ago, but had no idea he lived 3 miles away from “Haddonfield.” Next thing you know, we’re on an impromptu trip down memory lane as we drove all over South Pasadena looking for a ton of Halloween nostalgia live in the flesh.
This is what we found that day.
The Myers’ house from 1978The house, now a business office, in 2016
Michael Myers’ house was demolished and moved to a new location. It now serves as an office. Despite the disappointment of that, Nelson and I still sat there in awe. Reminiscing and laughing about the good old days, that’s when we noticed a DirecTv satellite dish on the side of the house. We also could hear the loud humming of an air conditioner. It was a hot August day in Haddonfield… the dog days of summer, indeed. That’s when I said, “What the hell, Michael Myers watching Game of Thrones with the AC on? DUDE IS GETTING SOFT!” Nelson added in, “What’s Michael Myers doing browsing PornHub!?”
We probably shouldn’t have cracked up so hard, but we did. Nelson and I laughed up a storm until we were nearly teary eyed. Man, I hadn’t laugh that good in quite a while. A mere hour prior to this, we both just assumed we’d catch up a bit and find Mickey. Little did we know! Instead, we found ourselves reconnecting and hunting a boogeyman who has haunted us both since childhood. Suddenly, we were chasing a ghost from our past. A ghost with no face. “And the blackest eyes… the devil’s eyes.” (Rest in Peace, Donald Pleasence)
Each filming location foray brought me and Nelson closer to the edge of a bygone era. An age we both thought had all but disappeared. It was like slipping through the back door of a time machine. Suddenly, we were wide-eyed kids again. Unjaded and uncorrupted by the foul orders of life and growing up.
Another classic scene from the 1978 masterpieceThe same spot nearly 40 years later!
Wow. Standing there taking this pic sent goosebumps up and down my spine. The best part about this whole ordeal was the complete random unplanned nature of it all. We didn’t even know Haddonfield was right in Nelson’s backyard! It’s true — sometimes the best things in life are completely unexpected.
Laurie Strode’s houseThe elementary school they used in the film
All in all, it was one of those epic weekends that stay with you long after the twilight of Sunday passes. Every once in a while you just need to get away from it all and have a good old fashioned adventure with your best buddy.
DOUG’S HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE
My favorite cartoon episode of all time
October 30, 1994 is a night I’ll always remember. Halloween Eve. On this night a cartoon episode entitled Doug’s Halloween Adventure aired. Little did I know then just how much my real life Halloween adventure THE VERY NEXT NIGHT would reflect what happened in this epic episode. But more on that later…
Doug was pretty much the cartoon version of The Wonder Years, and I absolutely loved it. This episode is the best one of the Doug show, and possibly of all shows. It just fits the Halloween mood perfectly and to me epitomizes the word “adventure.” I’m proud to present a retelling of this awesome tale. Enjoy.
It all started a LOOONG time ago, when the powerful Baron Von Hecklehoffer fell in love with a beautiful maiden. To win her love, he built a gigantic mansion. It took him seventeen looong years, but he did it.
Finally, on the day they got married, he brought his new bride to the house.
He swept her into his arms and ran up the stepsHe pushed the massive door open for the first timeHe stepped across the threshold and — SPLAT!
He forgot to put in a floor.
And ever since they plunged to their horrible bloody deaths there’s been a CURSE on the house.
“Anyone home?”
And few have dared to enter it. OH SURE, there were people who said they didn’t believe in haunted houses, at least until they crossed…
THE THRESHOLD OF DEATH!
Let’s just say — they never stayed too long…
For years nobody bought the house
That is… no one living…
… Until one day, a scary hooded guy, whose face nobody ever saw, decided to put the house to better use…
IT’S FUNKY TOWN!
And right in the middle of the park is the scariest ride ever – a ride through a real haunted house — BLOODSTONE MANOR! MWAHAHAHAHA!
“And tonight is the grand opening, and you and I are going in! Cool, huh?!”
“Y-Y-Y-eah, great.”
You know, Halloween is usually my most favorite holiday.
Free candy, spooky pumpkins and costumes, but this year was a little different. This year Skeeter was making me go to the grand opening of the scariest ride ever made.
I was hoping maybe I wouldn’t be TOO scared, because I was going as somebody really great — RACE CANYON.
“HA! I made it. The infamous Bloodstone Manor!”
“Not so fast, Doctor Canyon. Are you ready to cross the Threshold of Death?”
*Doug whips a rope around the neck of the hooded guy*
“What’s the matter, big boy? You look… whipped!”
“Nice going, Doug!”
“No problem, Doctor Canyon.”
“Oh, and nice outfit.”
“Why thanks!”
*Doug slides down the stairs*
“DUM-DA-DUM-DUM! DUM-DA-DUM!”
“Awww, is little Dougie dressed up to go twick-or-tweeting?”
“No Judy, I’m going to Bloodstone Manor. You get in free if you wear a costume.”
“Bloodstone Manor?!? I hear that’s unbelievably terrifying!”
“It’s just a ride, Judy. How scary can it be?”
“AHHHHHH!”“So, you think you’re brave, do you?
Find out tonight at Funky Town when Bloodstone Manor opens its doors to give you the scare of your life — or DEATH! Wear a costume and get in free. But once you cross the Threshold, there’s NO turning back!
MWAHAHAHA!”
“So Skeet, uh, you ready to go trick or treating?”
“Trick or treating? But Doug, I thought we were going to ride Bloodstone Manor?”
“You’re not gonna pass up free candy, are ya, man?”
“But there’s gonna be HUGE lines if we don’t get to Funky Town early! We might NOT get on!”
“That’d be terrible… well, I guess we better get started trick or treating.”
“Uh, Doug, don’t you think we’re a bit too old for trick or treating?”
“Naw, you’re never too old for free candy.”
“8 o’clock! C’mon man! Let’s get to Funky Town! We only got two hours!”
Two hours? How much longer could I stall? We already been around the neighborhood twice.
“Oooooh, who chopped off my head? Ooooh”
“Hey Roger.”
“I told you we’d scare the pants off them! You should have seen your faces. So, who are you two supposed to be? A hobo and a bath tub?”
“No, man. I’m a spaceship from Space Munks, you know, the video game! And he’s Race Canyon.”
“HA! Oh brother! YOU’RE Race Canyon? More like… Race CHICKEN!”
“Hey Roger, let’s see how brave Race Chicken is!”
“Yeah, he can be the first one to TP Mr. Bone’s house!”
“C’mon Race, let’s see you in action.”
“But Roger, we can’t do this.”
“Chicken! Chicken!”
“I am not chicken, it’s just — ”
“Then DO IT why don’t cha?”
“… C’mon Skeeter, let’s go”“Great! We’re just in time for the show! Hurry!”
Who was I kidding? How was I gonna cross the Threshold of Death when I didn’t even have the nerve to TP a house?
“C’mon Doug we gotta go!”
“I can’t, Skeeter. I’m sorry but…”
“What do I need that hat for anyhow? I’m no Race Canyon.”
“That’s OK… we can always go some other time…”Doug’s crush — Patti Mayonnaise
“Hey guys, whacha doin’? Trick or treating?”
“Naw uh! No way, no, nope, no…”
“Yeah, me neither. My dad’s taking me to Bebe’s costume party. Cool costumes. Are you some sort of spaceship, Skeeter?”
“Yeah, from Space Munks!”
“And you, Doug, you look like — ”
“I know, I know. A hobo.”
Doug is about to “level up”
“Actually I was going to say Race Canyon, but without the hat.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah! If you were a little taller, I’d say you were the spitting image!”
*Doug daydreams*
“I’ll handle this. BEAT IT!”
“Ohhh Race. Yer mah hero!”
“Say Patty, I don’t suppose you and your dad could drop us off at Bloodstone Manor? Gotta cross the Threshold of Death.”
“All right, man!”
*GET YOURSELF TO FUNKY TOWN!*
“I can’t believe it. You guys are going to Bloodstone Manor, and you’re not scared?”
“Of course not.”
“Well I am! I’d never go on it after what happened to those two guys.”
“Well, you can’t let a little — two guys, what two guys?”
“Yeah, they say when they were testing it, two workers rode in, but the only thing that came out… were THEIR SHOES! MWAHAHAHAHA!”
“Daddy! Stop it.”
“Well, you can’t believe everything, who told you this?”
“Skeeter. See ya!”
“What’s this about shoes?”
“Oh they’re just rumors, man. Like that stuff about the maniac.”
“Maniac?! What do you mean, maniac!?”
“Well they say the guy in the hood, you know the guy who bought the house and brought it here, some people think he’s STILL in there.”
*Doug gasps*
“You can’t believe every — oh maaan! Look at that line. Eight-thirty. Oh that’s just great!”
*75 minutes later*
“Nine forty-five. Fifteen minutes til it closes. We’re almost there!”
“Step all the way into the strange realm of the supernatural. Abandon all ye food or drinks”
“What’s happening?! Can you see!?”
“Well, if it ain’t Chicken Boy and Bath Tub, thanks for saving my place!”
“We didn’t — ”
“Attention everybody, the park is now closing.”
“WHAT?!?!”
“Hey, we still got fifteen minutes!”
“Why don’t you go to the gift shop. I’m outta here!”
“I can’t believe it, after we waited all this time!”
“Hey look!”
“You guys thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Roger, the guy says they’re closed.”
“Who, that loser? We still got fifteen minutes. We’re within our legal rights.”
“I dunno, Roger…”
“Chicken, chicken!”
“He’s right, man. We still have fifteen minutes before the park closes up.”
“Alright then. Let’s do this….”
“OW-OOOOOOH!”
“Welcome. I have a special treat in store for… TRESPASSERS. As you can see, there’s no way out of this room, except for…
… STRAIGHT DOWN! BWAHAHAHA!”
“Ooooh man, now what are we gonna do?”
“Oh no!”
“Kind of a short ride, isn’t it?”“Wait, look! It’s a trick, mirrors or something!”
“Cool!”
“Yeah, c-c-cool…”
“Easy, Roger. There’s nothing to be — ”
“You’ve crossed the Threshold of Death. There’s no turning back now.
I see you found the dining room…
*TICK TOCK TICK TOCK*
And I see by the grandfather clock it’s time to eat. Sit down, SIT DOWN! You don’t want your food to get cold, do you?”
“I’m not so sure I feel hungry…”
“I thought you might enjoy a small salad!”
“AHHHHH!!!!!!”“WHOOOOOAAAAA!!!”*WHOOSH!*“Look out look out!”“AHHHHH!!!”“HAHAHAHA!”
*Ride comes to a screeching halt*
“HUH?”
“Hey! What’s going on?”
“Uh oh…”
“What is it, Skeet?”
“It’s 10 o’clock, man… they’re closing the park!”
“HEEEEELP!”
“Wait a minute, Roger. I’m sure we can find a way out somewhere if we just don’t panic.”
“Hey man, it looks like there’s some stairs leading down!”
“NO WAY, I ain’t going NOWHERE!”
“Oh c’mon Roger, quit kidding.”
“Wait, Doug! Don’t leave!”
“What is it, Roger?”
“Did you hear something? I thought I heard something.”
“We’re getting outta here. We’ll find somebody to get this ride going again.”
*Doug and Skeeter set off while Roger stays back*
*10 minutes later*
“That must be Roger over there, c’mon Doug!”
“ROGER!!”
“I think I may be scared now…”
“HELP ME! DOUG! SKEETER!”
“What are we gonna do, Doug?”
“Where IS everybody? You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Run away?”
“Right…”
“HEEEEEEELP MEEEEE!!!!”
“No Skeeter. We can’t leave Roger behind. We gotta go back.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.”
“They sure make these things look real, don’t they?”“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??”
“AHHH! W-W-We were just looking for our friend, sir, and we think… he might be here in your… lovely home?”
“Your friend is NOT here. GET OUT!”
“Yes sir. Thank you sir. C’mon Doug. You heard the nice maniac… Roger’s not here.”
“C’mon guys! This way!”
“Skeet! That’s Roger!”
“No, man! It just sounds like him. C’mon!”
What was I doing? Running away like a little chicken, just like before. Leaving Roger at a time like this.
I knew what I had to do
“Doug! What are YOU doing?”
“Excuse me, sir, we’re not leaving without Roger.”
“THIS WAY…”
“Over here, you morons! Alright, when I see them coming I’ll shout TRICK or TREAT, and then you guys CREAM them, got it?”
“Got it! Heh heh heh”
“Roger’s outside, but how?”
*Maniac hits rewind*
“Those goons. I bet they think I’m a chicken. AH HA! Well, we’ll JUST see who’s the chicken!”
“That weasel…”
“So he tricked us!”
“… That rat! We go through all this trouble and now we get EGGED.”
“HAHAHA… NOT NECESSARILY… HAHAHAHAHA!”
“I’m f-f-f-freezing…”
“Hey! Can it! They’ll be out soon. I wonder what’s taking those guys so long?”
“ROOOGER! WIIIILLY!”
“Shut up Boomer!”
“I didn’t say anything, Roger.”
“Then who…”
“IT WAS ME… LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO US, ROGER!”
“What the — ! Y-Y-Y-You’re….”
“WE’RE GHOSTS, THAT’S WHAT!”
“And now we’re gonna haunt you forever… I guess”“WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Yer not chicken are ya?!”
“You got that right! Ch-ch-chicken! Don’t haunt me, Doug! I’ll do anything!”
“IT WAS ROTTEN OF YOU TO TP ALL THOSE HOUSES.”
“We’ll clean them up, honest! All of them!”
“Oh yeah, I mean, don’t worry about that. We’ll clean them up!”
“TONIGHT?!”
“Yeah sure sure, whatever you say!”
“Alright then. OH, AND ROGER, ONE MORE THING…”“NEXT TIME YOU MAY NOT BE SO LUCKY! MWAHAHA!”“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
“Did you see their faces?”
“Yeah man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them run so fast!”
“Boy, and we couldn’t have done it without you, sir.”
“I have something that may belong to you”“A Race Canyon hat…… MY Race Canyon hat!”“But where did you — how did you — WHO ARE YOU?!”“Just call me… BARON VON HECKLEHOFFER!”“BARON VON HECKLEHOFFER?!?!”
“… W-W-Wha’d’ya say we head home, Skeet?”
“S-S-Sounds good, man.”
Tonight, I think I did Race Canyon proud. Not only was I brave enough to cross the Threshold of Death, but I even went back to save Roger.
I wonder if Race Canyon ever had to run all the way home?
STEVE’S HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE
The very next night I experienced the Halloween of a lifetime. It’s a true story that I’ve shared probably over 100 times. It was one of the greatest nights of my life. A storybook-like Halloween that not even Hollywood could script any better.
Growing up I never met a single kid who didn’t look forward to this particular night. It’s the time of the year where the days grow short, and the nights grow LONG. A night where goblins roam the streets, where the moon reigns supreme, and where the clamor of sneakers crunching the gravel can be heard in the passing of the howling wind.
As a kid I had a dream. It was a simple dream. I was a simple boy. I always dreamt of having one memorable Halloween for the ages. Now I don’t know what I did to piss off the Halloween gods, or druids, but for Halloween ’91, ’92 and ’93 I was sick to the point that I couldn’t go out. Thus, I missed out on Halloween when I was 8, 9 and 10 years old. Time was running out. I still had yet to experience THAT ONE Halloween I could call my own. So that year, 1994, I didn’t care if I came down with Malaria. Not even Mother Nature’s wrath could stop me THIS year.
I was counting down the days to Monday night
My best friend, Nelson, spent the past three Halloweens with his cousins. Me getting sick around Halloween time had become… tradition. So every year I told Nelson to forget about me and go crazy. That backfired in ’94 when I realized he had already made plans with his cousins out of town. He invited me, but believe it or not, I declined my best friend’s offer. Why?
This was THE place to be on Halloween night
My cousins lived in a grand neighborhood. It was full of two story houses shoulder to shoulder — a never ending army of steamrollers. Houses decked to the nine. The Halloween atmosphere in this neighborhood was off the chain. I remember it well from 1990 — the last time I was able to go trick or treating. I was determined to return to that majestic neighborhood for Halloween 1994. It was a strong feeling in my gut — I just knew I HAD to be there. I didn’t know what would happen. I just knew I needed to be there on that night.
Vintage upper-middle class suburbia
HALLOWEEN NIGHT 1994
My cousin Vivian picked me up and drove me to her place. There I met her cousin, John. Like me, he was 11, so we hit it off quickly. And with an air of mystique in the, er, air, and the moon out in full force… it was grounds for a perfect night of Halloween mischief.
Gotta love that cool crisp October night air, ahhh…
All of my cousins had Halloween parties to go to, so they left me and John to our own devices. It was 8 PM. The night was young. And the night was now ours to rule.
I still remember it was Monday Night Football
The first house an old man opened the door and in the background I heard:
Dun dun dun dun… DUNT DUNT… DA DUNT!
His living room was lit only by the glow of the television, whose flickering images made shadows dance against the wall like primitive tribal warriors.
The old man dropped Snickers and Skittles into our Halloween bags. “My Packers kickin’ some butt tonight. You two have a good one now, you hear.”
Trick first, treat second
A couple houses later, we were walking up the steps casually when a flying corpse blindsided us from out of nowhere! John and I jumped back as we watched the corpse swing back and forth. A laugh came from behind the black curtain, which draped the entire porch. A man in his late 20s peered out from behind the curtain and waved to me and John. “GOTCHA!” He grabbed his corpse on a rope and reset it to its original starting point.
He showed us the tricks of the trade
He showed us the small hole he’d cut in the black curtain to prey on poor unsuspecting trick or treaters. Said we were his first victims of the night. We shared a hearty laugh while he passed out the candy. Then he spotted some new blood quickly approaching.
“Alright boys, if you don’t mind, I best be getting back to my command center! Thanks for… dropping by! MWAHAHAHA!”
I watched as he ran up the steps and behind the thick black curtain, which was impossible to see from far away in the dark of night. I remember smirking to myself thinking that’s certainly ONE way to stay young! And that meeting him was like meeting a zany Wizard of Oz or rather, a Wizard of Halloween Town.
STEP RIGHT UP…
This night was turning out better than I hoped…
John and I were just trick-or-treating and having a good time being carefree kids on this most mystical of nights.
We made sure to point out all the macabre decorations, of which, ON THIS NIGHT, in this neighborhood, there were hundreds. Once again this neighborhood lived up to the hype. It WAS Halloween Town. Part of the fun of trick or treating is seeing all the houses decorated to the nine. And we were not disappointed on that night.
We could hear kids screaming around the bend
An hour flew by. It was now 9 PM. We were standing here when, suddenly, we heard a scream in the not too far distance. “The hell is that!” I said excitedly. We ran the next block over with great hope. There we found a cul-de-sac.
John and I power walked toward the source…
At the very end of the court stood a towering 2-story house that looked like it jumped out of a horror movie. John and I looked at each other in bewilderment as we made our way to the ghostly abode. Upon reaching the driveway, I heard something I’d never forget…
“AIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!”
John and I gathered at the end of a long line
The blood curling shriek sent a chill up and down my spine. Next to me stood a monstrous executioner. “What is this?” We pointed to the line of kids just ahead of us on the driveway.
“Welcome to the Johnsons’ Haunted House!!!”he bellowed, his shiny ax gleaming on his broad shoulder in the faint glow of the street lamp. “Free of charge but beware… once you go in… there’s NO GOING OUT! MWAHAHAHA!”
John and I grinned at one another and hi-fived. Wow, a haunted house! And free, too! Neither of us had been to one before, and I’d always wanted to. This was turning out to be THE perfect night…
I glanced up at the upstairs window
As we waited in line my imagination ran away. I thought back to last night — Doug’s Halloween Adventure. Was this a ride? No, it’s only a 2-story house, silly. My mind was racing a million miles a minute. I never felt so alive before.
Moments later, I glanced up. One window was lit under the glow of the moon. More screaming came from the garage. It was so intensely atmospheric, and to an 11-year-old, it was pure Heaven! There was a raw rush of adrenaline flowing throughout my body, and you could cut the anticipation in the air. All of us kids standing in line there that night were psyched to the gills!
We had no choice but to press on…
8 minutes later John and I found ourselves at the gate. The night was so pitch black I couldn’t even make out my own hand in front of my face. The gate door creaked open with a loud sound effect. A light mist splashed its way into my eyes. In the near distance a loud chainsaw was buzzing. I wondered, “If I take four steps forward, would my head get chopped off?”
… sweeeet!
Horror movie villains galore!
We forged on ahead, spider web tangling in our hair. Taking a turn on our left to the garage door entrance, we followed an S curve. Strobe light hit us from every which angle, and horror movie icons flashed in the darkness at all turns! Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers and big ol’ Leatherface all on hand! And they were authentic. The knife Myers held was real, as was the chainsaw wielded by Leatherface.
Near the end a large trash can lid had a note scribbled across it…
“WARNING: REMOVE THIS LID AND DIE!!!”
John gave me the honors. So then, in the strobe-lit madness, with a ghoulish soundtrack playing loudly in the garage, I popped the lid open and out jumped a werewolf! For amateurs, the whole setup was unbelievable, full of first rate costumes, props and creativity. BRAVO, JOHNSONS!
Finally we made our way through the garage door, leading to their living room, which led to the front entrance where the haunted house trip concluded with candy. John and I were absolutely THRILLED. We thanked the Johnsons for their awesome efforts. Never in a million years did I ever imagine anything like this would happen…
ONE FINAL THRILL
John and I were high on Halloween spirit
John and I were walking the streets now, trick-or-treating some more and talking excitedly about what we just went through. Did we pick the right neighborhood or what! And just when I thought it couldn’t get any more eventful… IT DID.
All of a sudden all the houses went DARK…
It was 9:45 now and the streets became incredibly dark. Everyone was gone. No more trick-or-treaters in sight. I looked up at the huge 2 story houses that lined the streets like an army of steamrollers. All the lights were now switched off. It was odd. It was… eerie. Like a ghost town. The mist started to roll in… it was getting to be that kind of night…
A showdown like back in the wild old west
John and I were walking down this long dark street when, out of the mist, came these five taller and older boys. They must have been 13 or 14 years old.
Looking back, we probably should have turned the other way, but that night of Halloween 1994 we didn’t. Both parties kept walking toward one another… until we came face-to-face. The one in the middle was evidently the leader as he walked slightly ahead.
He stepped up to me and John. The five of them stared the two of us down.
Then, without warning, the leader snatched John’s candy bag!
The bullies laughed, hi-fived one another and jogged off into the dark night.
I’ll never forget that look on John’s face. A look of hopelessness, a look of devastation.
Two hours’ worth… gone. Like that *snap fingers*
I did the great, late Jesse Owens PROUD
I peered down that long dark street into the mist. By now the bullies were getting smaller and smaller until I could barely make them out.
I stared back at John once more. He was still frozen in a state of dead shock. Then, without saying a word, I dropped my bag and sprinted after the bullies.I snapped. I didn’t really think about it, but between seeing the violated look on his face, the adrenaline coursing through my body, and the INJUSTICE of it all, something inside me SNAPPED.
And the weirdest thing happened as I ran. Everything around me blurred. I became the only concrete object amidst an army of gorgeous 2 story houses. I saw myself running in third person… saw the moment happening from BEHIND MY BACK.
I had an out-of-body experience.
As I closed in on the unsuspecting bully, I swiped back John’s bag. I stood there with the bag firmly in my grasp as the lead bully whipped around to face me.
Another staredown ensued. It lasted 20 seconds, but felt more like 20 nights.
By now his goons came over and it was five of them all glaring at me. I didn’t know what was going to happen, quite frankly, at that moment I didn’t care. All I knew was, I wasn’t going to be the first one to blink. I stood my ground. Stared back at them. Come hell or high water, I wasn’t about to back down.
I matched him eyeball for eyeball. His painted pirate-y face against my cheap Walgreens $1.99 white skeleton mask. And when it was over, only one glare was left standing, and it wasn’t his.
Easing off, he signaled for his cronies to follow suit… and they left. Not a single word was ever exchanged between us.
It was a magical night. A night for the ages
I watched them disappear into the mist of the night as John caught up to me, huffing and puffing.
I handed him his bag. We didn’t say anything. Not because we had nothing to say, but because we knew nothing needed to be said. We just stood there, two 11-year-old boys, in the middle of one of the blackest nights I’d ever seen.
There isn’t a Halloween that passes where I don’t think back to that fateful night in ’94. I remember it vividly today as though it happened just last month. Finally, I experienced the Halloween I always wanted. But in my wildest dreams growing up, I never imagined it’d be what it turned out to be. It was the greatest Halloween a kid could ever ask or hope for.
EPILOGUE + THE SEQUEL (HALLOWEEN 1995)
The ol’ neighborhood. Thanks for the memories
My cousins moved from that great neighborhood many years ago… about 20, in fact, circa ’97. It was pretty much my second home growing up. In 1995 I met up with John again, both of us looking to reclaim the magic of the Halloween before. We had a blast in ’95. It was my second favorite Halloween and a worthy sequel indeed. We trick or treated in the same neighborhood, but sadly the Johnsons were not able to do their traditional haunted house this year. Something about their sons not coming home from college in time, I recall. Still, John and I told the parents how much their haunted house last year meant to us. In turn, they told us they did it for kids like us… that they were only doing what they could to make Halloween extra special for at least one kid. Hey… I can think of at least two. And I’m sure the Johnsons have created fond Halloween memories for dozens and dozens of lucky young trick-or-treaters. God Bless them. More on them a bit later.
I came face to face with the boogeyman
After we circled the neighborhood once or twice, my cousins took us to the local haunted house. It was my first taste of the “REAL” thing. What a HIGH that proved to be. When you’re 12, it’s Heaven. We were a group of seven. Going down one dimly-lit hallway, out of nowhere Michael Myers appeared and chased us down the hallway and into the next room before disappearing back in the shadows. Being stalked by my all-time favorite villain was a nightmare come true. The first time I saw the original Halloween in 1989, I dreamt that night Myers was stalking me. Six years later, 1995, that nightmare became reality!
Halloween ’95 was a worthy sequel indeed, but as great as it was, the original (’94) was that much better.
In October of 2003 I shared my Halloween ’94 adventure in college for my public speaking class. My professor loved my story and speaking style so much that she asked me to share that same story later that month at a night workshop for beginning storytellers. I gladly obliged, and had a blast sharing my story with a room full of freshmen. Because it was at night and closer to Halloween, it made my story that much more effective. In all, I’ve probably shared my Halloween ’94 story at least 50 times, easily.
H10 — HALLOWEEN ONE DECADE LATER
It was the night *I* came home…
Halloween 2004…
TEN YEARS LATER… I returned to that same ole neighborhood. I went trick or treating with my (at the time) girlfriend, and guess what I discovered…
Johnsons still rocking it!
The Johnsons STILL live there and they STILL do the Halloween haunted house! Every year, in fact. I nearly ran up to the end of the line! I felt like a little 11-year-old kid again (I was 21 at the time).
It was surreal going through it ten years later. As Mr. and Mrs. Johnson handed me a Snickers bar at the exit, I told them I was a 11 year-old-kid 10 years ago who loved it so much. They almost fell over! We talked for 10 minutes. About the haunted house, about how the S-curve was first implemented in 1994, about the neighborhood… about LIFE.
It was SO good to know some things in life stay the same. In an era where people move often and stop doing traditions — those damn Johnsons still live in that gorgeous neighborhood… and every Halloween… they recreate the magic for kids… kids like John and me… kids who I hope will experience the kind of night we did on that fateful Halloween of ’94.
Six years went by. It was now 2010. On a whim, I decided to take a trip to Kenya for a missions trip. I was passing out pledge letters and decided what the hell, I’ll stop by the old neighborhood and see if the Johnsons are still there. They were, but Bill had passed away due to cancer. I didn’t know him per se, but the news crushed me. On the bright side, Becky and I got to reconnect, and we keep in touch even to this day. Most recently, she retired after over 30 years of teaching, and we met up for lunch this past summer to catch up and talk about life, Bill, Halloween and such. There isn’t a Halloween that passes where I don’t think of Bill and Becky. I’m grateful our paths crossed.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Halloween will always bring the kid out in me
I will always love this time of the year. The crisp cool October night air. The falling leaves. The days growing shorter and the nights growing longer. Halloween will always hold a very special spot in my heart. It’s given me some great memories over the years, and who doesn’t enjoy snuggling up with a bowl of popcorn and a horror movie on a rainy night?
This year marks the 22nd anniversary of one of the greatest nights of my life. Life is crazy. The lady in the haunted house — Becky Johnson — who knew meeting a random stranger on a night 22 years ago would lead to a lifelong friendship? One of these days Becky and I have to recreate the haunted house. In the memory and honor of Bill Johnson. Perhaps Halloween 2017.
Whatever you end up doing this year, I hope you have fun, stay safe and create some fond memories. Oh, and one more thing…
If that sounds like an enticing combination to you (we can’t be friends if it isn’t) then SD F-1 Grand Prix is right up your alley. Sure, we never got the Super Mario Kart 2 on SNES as we desired back in the mid ’90s, but Video System released this clone on October 27, 1995 (nearly 21 years ago as I write this on October 23, 2016). It’s no Super Mario Kart (2) but it’s a decent alternative — hell, even an adequate companion piece to Super Mario Kart. Let’s examine and see why.
BLAST FROM THE PAST
They scared and fascinated me all at once
If you grew up in the late ’80s and early ’90s in America then you probably have fond memories of hitting up Chuck E. Cheese’s as a kid. I know I sure did. It was the cheap pizza (which at the time felt like Heaven to a kid), the festive atmosphere and the ARCADES. It was an epic place for a kid to be. A place where a kid could truly be a kid. But I think we can also agree on this… those old school animatronics left us with an eerie memory or two! Just look at them. They’re so robotic and stiff, it’s a bit unnerving to watch them “sing” when you were a little kid. But we all have memories of it (for better or for worse). Chuck E. Cheese’s, I salute ya. Thank you SD F-1 Grand Prix for reminding me of a simpler time in my life. Perhaps that’s one contributing factor to why I like you so much.
WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE
10 racers with varying abilities
Right away you can tell what the tone of this game is. It’s not serious. It’s cute, and fairly charming. I like how they give you stats for each racer. Even though the racers in Super Mario Kart had their pros and cons, it’s nice seeing it spelled out explicitly.
It’s a case of deja vu all rightRecharge your health. Hmmm…Thought I saw that somewhere
Similar to Battle Racers, you have a health bar that’s reduced any time you fall in a pit, ram into barriers or blasted by the opposition. Unlike Battle Racers though, instead of finding health refills inside capsules, SD F-1 has a healing strip along the beginning of each track much like F-Zero.
Battle Racers (Banpresto, 1995)
BUT DON’T LOOK DOWN ON THIS GAME
Bird eye’s view point
Sure it rips some things off from Super Mario Kart and F-Zero, but those aren’t bad games to get inspired by. There are different camera angles to pick from. The default is Mario Kart style. But one allows you to make SD F-1 look just like the earlier F-1 Super Famicom games… that being from a bird eye’s view point.
1 player games include:
GP Mode: first you race around a bare track for 2 laps to be awarded a starting position (1-10). Then you start the race at your designated spot against 9 rivals. Icons litter the course, collect enough to fill a bar and gain a temporary speed burst
Crash Mode: None of this 2 laps positioning nonsense. Start at #10 and instead of speed-bar-filling-up icons you get regular weapon icons (projectiles, etc.) I personally prefer this traditional Mario Kart mode over GP
Time Trial: Keeps track of best lap and overall times
2 player game (besides obvious GP and whatnot):
Dog Fight: Pick one of (surprise surprise) four specific battle arenas, and fight to the death. The goal is to zap other driver’s energy to zero by blasting him or her with any means necessary. Groovy
Now let’s look at some random tracks.
The classic, essential, bare bones first stage to acclimate the player to the mechanics of the game. To say it conjures memories of the first race track from Super Mario Kart would be a gross understatement.
Good times
Some tracks contain helpful arrows, such as this one. Maybe it’s just me but this course reminds me slightly of Bowser’s.
Lovely beach track. One of my favorites. Yeah it’s a total ripoff but it’s still sweet. The super jump bit is very cool, reminiscent of Ghost Valley 1.
1992 was a good year!
Northern Lights! The ice has nice detailing as well. Another one of my favorites, this frozen lake course is actually cooler looking than the frozen courses found in Super Mario Kart. Just my opinion of course, but it’s the little details in the ice as well as the Northern Lights that gives SD F-1 Grand Prix the edge.
The lava track has a super jump section much like the beach one. I have to say graphically it is superior to Super Mario Kart but that’s kind of expected as one came out in 1992 and the other in 1995.
I love how you can see this course unwind far into the distance. Lovely!
ProTip: Avoid the muddy spots
Remember GamePro Magazine? That’s a classic ProTip they would have said. My favorite to this day was the ProTip about the CyberDemon. ProTip: Shoot at it.
I love the wide range of locales you race in — the visuals are pleasant to the eye and really makes you want to race each of the courses.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Yippee!
Super Mario Kart meets a cast of Chuck E. Cheeses rejects. In a nutshell, that’s what SD F-1 Grand Prix is. What it also is… is a damn fine racing game. It’s loads of fun with a few different ideas to differentiate it enough from Super Mario Kart. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a most blatant clone, but it’s a well made one. It’s not as smooth playing as Super Mario Kart, but visually it’s better and I really like some of its tracks. If you love kart racing games then you really owe it to yourself to get this one. SD F-1 Grand Prix is yet another great Super Famicom exclusive title. Pick up a copy if you can — you probably won’t regret it.
Most Super Nintendo owners know about the first two Super Bomberman games on the SNES. But what some don’t know is that the series went up to a whopping five. 3 was released in Europe and Japan while parts 4 and 5 were exclusively released in Japan only. Tonight let’s look at the final Bomberman game on the SNES. It’s the fifth one, and yes, it sure does Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers proud!
They just keep coming and coming…
REGULAR MODE
The 1-2 player mode is not shabby, although we all know by now where the meat and potatoes of any Bomberman title is. Nonetheless, here’s a quick look.
Deja vu, hmm?
There is a time warp-related plot. Therefore, you’ll see stages from the original SNES classic. A nice nod back to the glory days of yesteryear.
Pick your path
Another nice feature, at the end of each stage you’re given 3 exit points. Each one takes you to a completely different level. Sometimes you’ll select the one that takes you to the very next level. Other times you may select a stage that jumps ahead. You never know and it makes the game less linear, for sure.
Aw shucks, no skippingJumped from 1-1 to 1-5Jumped from 1-1 to 1-7
And as you might notice, some of these stages are pulled right from previous Super Bomberman titles. I told you there was a time warping element to this game. It’s nice to see some of the old stages from the previous games. A nice fan service if nothing else.
But to TRULY complete the game you have to beat all the stages. Your reward is unlocking a bonus character… a golden bomber!
Difficult first boss
The first boss is rather annoying and hard. Unlike previous titles where you tackle giant machines, here the bosses are much smaller, quicker and more devious. This one drops a stealth bomb that is invisible until you step over it. Even worse, once the bomb is revealed you have only about a second to get out of the way before it detonates. I have to admit, while the boss fights are more challenging than ever before, I do miss the massive monstrosities of years past.
With that said, let’s get to what makes any Bomberman title shine.
BATTLE ZONE ONE
The essential “plain” stage. A must have for any Bomberman game. A place where no gimmicks reside and no excuses can be forged. A pure and classic battlefield.
BATTLE ZONE TWO
One of my favorite gimmicks, the conveyor belt sends bombs (and bombers) down the line accordingly. I really like the look of this stage.
BATTLE ZONE THREE
My all-time favorite gimmick: the tunnel or roof stage. Here we have lovely treetops to obscure the playing field. These Bomberman games have never been about impressive visuals, but I do think it’s never looked better. A given, considering it’s the fifth and final game on the system.
BATTLE ZONE FOUR
Not my favorite kind, as it’s a little too gimmicky for my tastes. The field is mostly dark except for a bouncing spotlight. Definitely grounds for excuses galore…
BATTLE ZONE FIVE
The speed stage where players move REALLY fast. Not one of my favorites, but it’s a change of pace field, pardon the pun, for sure.
BATTLE ZONE SIX
I like this one a lot. It appeared in Super Bomberman 3 and must have been so popular because it’s back. This stage has a few interesting gimmicks. Bombs that explode under the makeshift igloos will send the top sky high. Not to mention there is slight stealth bombing capacity here. Not as severe as in battle zone three, but the potential is there (which is nice). Secondly, there are portions of the field where the ice cracks, leaving a hole in its wake. You of course cannot cross these holes. Finally, that big snowball up top rolls once you blow it up. Get the hell out of its way!
BATTLE ZONE SEVEN
It’s the arrow stage. I typically enjoy the arrow gimmick, but have to admit the look of this stage is a bit of a letdown. It just doesn’t look very pleasing to the eye.
BATTLE ZONE EIGHT
A trolley lays in the middle. You can ride it and knock out the blocks in its way. Cool stuff. You also can’t die when riding the trolley, but be careful of the landing spot. You may land right into an explosion, or you might even get stuck between two blocks. Assess the situation properly and decide whether it’s worth a ride or not.
BATTLE ZONE NINE
Those special knobs there will switch occasionally and possibly block you out. Not one of my favorites, but it’s adequate.
BATTLE ZONE TEN
Remember this stage from Super Bomberman 2? It’s back. Everyone is powered up from the get go and there are no blocks. An ultimate battle of the supreme.
INTERESTING SIDE NOTES
The classic hand glove is an awesome power-up. If you can find one early on when there are still a lot of blocks on the screen, you can easily kill off some rivals.
Speaking of killed opponents, not only is there an option to bomb from the outside once you’re killed, but if you manage to kill someone on the field the two of you will switch places. It’s a nice choice to have and adds new intensity to the mad bomber option.
CORNERED!KABOOM
When the timer expires, blocks drop to the very bitter end. No longer do they close off just a portion of the field, now they drop until they’ve claimed every last life possible. This often becomes a war of attrition. If you have an animal friend and your opponent does not, this works highly in your favor. I like that animal friend there as it can jump over flames. The poor green guy stands no chance!
If you haven’t noticed by now, up to five bombers can play in this game. Starting with Super Bomberman 3, players went from 4 to 5. It’s nice in case you have four friends visiting rather than three.
Bomberman Bowling!Earn a prize for next matchTaunts and groans ensueSome bombs are special
That is a hovering homing bomb. Which means it isn’t affected by the conveyor belt. How many times have you said to yourself it would be nice if my bombs didn’t move along the conveyor belt? Now, with this special bomb, you can do just that. Also, it has a built-in homing device. If an opponent goes near it, it will follow that person for a bit before detonating. It’s quite effective.
Spiked bombs are powerful
They truly are. They blow PAST blocks. So watch out or else…
DAMN!Oops!
In the trolley battle zone, watch out that you don’t trap yourself between two blocks. You’ll be a sitting duck if so!
A password screen is present. There are several codes that affects the game. For example, the codes 4622, 0413 and 0926 change the layouts of the levels. Observe.
NormalPassword 4622Password 0413Password 0926
Pretty dang cool, huh? It should be noted that Super Bomberman 3 and Super Bomberman 4 also had passwords to unlock varying layouts of their battle zones as well. Therefore it’s not like Super Bomberman 5 was the first to do so, but that doesn’t make it any less useful. Talk about expanding longevity when the replay value was already high to begin with!
This controller executes a special cheat!
Speaking of awesome, if you own Hudson’s Super Joy Card controller pad, you can use it to activate three hidden bonus battle zones! Now how sick is that? To do so, move the blue X button over and on the title screen hold X for about 6 seconds. A sound will confirm on success. These are the same stages found on the gold cartridge — a limited edition release of Super Bomberman 5. You can find gold cartridge editions on eBay for over hundreds and hundreds of dollars. So to play the extra bonus stages you can either plop down a couple Benjamins or pay about $20 for Hudson’s Super Joy Card. Yeah, I know which option I went for. Not to mention the Super Joy Card is an awesome controller.
Either that or drop $400 for this…
Let’s take a quick look at the three bonus battle zones.
BATTLE ZONE ELEVEN
There are 18 loops surrounding the stage. Go to one and you’ll be redirected randomly to any of the other 17.
BATTLE ZONE TWELVE
Combines a conveyor belt along with tunnels. Gotta love it.
BATTLE ZONE THIRTEEN
Combines a trolley with warp holes. Ride the trolley and appear randomly at another warp hole. Interesting gimmick mash-up!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Goes out with a bang
I love the Bomberman games. You really can’t go wrong with any of the five on the Super Nintendo. I still prefer the original out of all of them, but between parts 3, 4 and 5, I have to give the slight nod to Super Bomberman 5. I like the fact that it combines certain stages from the four previous titles. It isn’t quite a “remix” but at times it does feel like one. As if they took the best from the previous games and added in some new things for the fifth outing on SNES. So if you had to get only one Super Bomberman title that never came out in the US, make it the fifth one. Although, why not get 3 and 4 too if you can. It might be overkill, but for me at least you can never have too much Bomberman.
When I was searching for information on Spark World on the internet back in 2006, it (pardon the pun) shocked me there was nothing. Sure the game’s highly unoriginal, but it’s pretty good regardless, so I thought I’d find SOMETHING on it. I wasn’t expecting to find a full blown write up, but at least a blurb in a “Recommend me some good Super Famicom games” topic. There was nothing to be found. It’s sadly another case of an obscurity left lurking in the shadows. That’s a shame, so tonight let’s shine the spotlight on this little gem.
If Battle Cross was like Super Mario Kart meets Super Bomberman, with emphasis on the former, then Spark World is the same — only with the emphasis placed on the latter.
The story goes as follows:
In a distant world where intelligent cars rule, a shady casino operator who is actually a drug dealer casts his shadow over the alleys and streets. Two young cop cars, Beat and Barts, decide to take matters into their own hands (so to speak) when they learn that the police department is riddled with corruption by the syndicate boss. The intrepid pair must set off to points around the globe and blow up enemies by detonating fuel barrels. If you’re not in the mood to save the world you can always play against 3 friends (or computer controlled opponents in the battle mode).
The story mode allows you to select any one of nine stages. Each stage has three zones with the fourth being the boss. 4-character passwords are given after each stage.
A look at some of the levels from the 1-player mode:
The Terror Train is boss #1
The classic themes are represented: jungle, river, ice, desert, etc. Each theme, as you can guess, is guarded by a boss.
The meat of the game, like Bomberman, is the battle mode with 12 selectable stages. Any combination of 2-4 players can play, and CPU AI is selectable from 1-9. You can set CPU 1 AI level nine, CPU 2 AI five and CPU 3 AI one if you so choose. Very user friendly.
And of course, by blowing blocks sky high, you reveal items that can either help or hinder. Longer sparks, more bombs dropped at a time, jelly bombs (I told you this game was highly unoriginal…), a boxing glove (though instead of punching bombs you punch the opponents — sweet), and so forth.
? marks are a HUGE gamble. If you get the bad side of it, a grim reaper appears over your head with a 30 second countdown. When it reaches 0, whoever has the icon dies. Luckily, you can transfer it to anyone you touch, and it can be passed back and forth until the timer reaches 0. It’s a riot making the switch to someone with 1 second to go! *evil laughter*
There are no dinosaurs or animals here, but each player can sustain two hits.
Without further ado, let’s take a look at the battle zones.
BATTLE ZONE ONE
Basic plain classic stage where pure skills reign supreme.
BATTLE ZONE TWO
At first glance one might assume the arrows indicate where bombs go, but rather than completely ripping off Bomberman, the arrows actually indicate where YOU can go. Similar to the boxing glove, it’s this slight gimmick twist that goes a long way.
BATTLE ZONE THREE
Red button = no pass. Blue = OK. The colors switch occasionally and shrewd timing is the key to surviving and creating traps.
BATTLE ZONE FOUR
I thought my SNES broke when I first played this zone. You’re moved automatically! Challenging zone indeed.
BATTLE ZONE FIVE
When the sides are bombed, the doors on the floor open up. Get called up to the big house if you fall through!
BATTLE ZONE SIX
Ahh, the classic stage with 4 exit points. I love the look here. Unfortunately, the sparks will NOT go through the exit points, unlike Bomberman. Shame, but oh well.
BATTLE ZONE SEVEN
I love this stage’s design and gimmick. Once the boulder is free it’ll roll around the stage. Sparks influence its direction. Don’t let it crush you! There’s nothing better than blasting the giant rock right through your friend!
BATTLE ZONE EIGHT
Ahhh, the classic conveyor belt stage. I also love the look here.
Note: battle zones 9-12 (not pictured) all have crazy gimmicks (i.e. gun placed in the middle, mega bombs, etc.) but they all use the same stage design.
VICTRY!
Somebody got fired…
You can set match victory to 1-5 matches much like Bomberman. The victory screen is a hoot… what the hell is victry? Whoops!
KNOW THY ENEMY
Yellow is so screwed for round 2
While Spark World is a rip-off through and through, it does have a sweet feature that draws the battle lines in the sand quite emphatically. At the end of a round the game lets you know who your “rival” is. That way you know exactly who to target specifically the following round. It gets wild and loony when one car kills all 3 of his or her opponents. You can form a temporary brotherhood and go after that rival the following round. Makes for some good times for sure.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Damn, blue. You killin’ it, son!
So yeah, Spark World is a blatant Super Bomberman clone. But bloody hell if it ain’t a blast (sorry). There’s enough of a difference to make it more than a decent alternative. For example, I love that you can sustain two hits. It makes the battles last longer and gives you a chance at redemption rather than a one and done. Sure you can ride animals in the Bomberman titles but honestly I never liked them too much. Felt a little too gimmicky to me, personally. I also like that the boxing glove allows you to punch your opponents rather than punch fuel barrels. I mean, c’mon, does it really get any better than that?! Also, the arrows in battle zone two indicate where YOU can move, rather than your fuel barrels. It’s these slightly unique twists that add up to a slightly refreshing take. But my favorite thing might be that rival screen. Sure, you usually know full well who killed you, but that shot emphatically draws the battle line in the sand for the following round.
Of course it’s not better than the Super Bomberman titles but as far as clones go, this is an admirable and very solid effort. If you love these party games, definitely pick up Spark World. When the sparks get long the battles get really intense. It’s neat also how the spark color indicates who dropped the bomb(s). It’s just a fun game that I’m still playing even 10+ years later after buying it in 2006. Yet another unheralded semi-gem from the fascinating world of Super Famicom!
![[OH NO YOU DIH-ENT! *removes earrings* -Shaniqua]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ClockTower37.jpg)
![[Uh, let's just return to the movie -Ed.] [MMMM-HM -Shaniqua]](http://rvgfanatic.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ClockTower39.jpg)
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