One of the most notorious games from the vast Super Nintendo library is without a doubt EarthBound. Released 21 years ago, it stood out in the crowd of RPGs by having a contemporary setting, a zany sense of humor, and a very unique style. And as the years passed, the game grew in demand, popularity and reverence. So much that some people would even tell you that the game has been overhyped beyond belief. In 2012, I finally got to play through EarthBound. It was an adventure the likes of which I’ll remember FOREVER.
WHEN PRICES WERE DOWN TO EARTH
The SNES market has skyrocketed in recent years
When I got back into the Super Nintendo scene 10 years ago in early 2006, the games were still quite cheap. I picked up titles like Ninja Gaiden Trilogy, Castlevania: Dracula X, Aero Fighters, Mega Man X³, andEarthBoundeach for $40 or less. No such luck doing that today! It bogglesthe mind how crazy expensive these old games are now. Back in 2006, EarthBound didn’t carry the mainstream reputation it would later gain in recent years. It was just another game I’d never played back in the day but was now interested in doing so. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that the game would become the monster that it is today. It makes me wonder how much these games will command 5 to 10 years from now. All I know for sure — I’m glad I got in when I did and got out before the market went sky high. Life is truly about timing, and a little lady luck never hurts too!
ALIENS FROM ANOTHER PLANET
Nelly and I had our own version of Friday Night Lights
As a kid UFOs fascinated me. Alien beings that lived far above us in the outer reaches of space. The idea that intelligent (and possibly menacing) creatures living above us is mystifying. Growing up, I would scan the skies late at night with my binoculars hoping to see something, yet at the same time dreading the possibility that something mightsee me back. My best friend Nelson and I became obsessed; we even had the odd “sky stakeout” here and there. While it may sound a bit sad, there are worse ways to spend an evening than to hang out with your best friend shooting the breeze and scanning the skies while sharing a pepperoni pizza. We never saw anything, not even once, but I think Nelson and I both silently understood that we used it as an excuse to veg out on a Friday night after a long school week. About once a month we’d bust out the lawn chairs, set our piping hot Totino’s pizza on the little table outside, kick back and talk about our crushes on Jenny and Elaine, video games and anything monster-related while staring out at the beautiful early evening sky. Munching on cheesy carbs and sipping on fizzy soda, Nelly and I would gaze up at the sky talking the night away. We’d stay outside so late that his mom would flip the back porch light on. Those “stakeout” Friday evenings have stuck with me all these years later. Time marches on, but I still recall those lazy nights vividly.
They’re out there…
The best thing about UFOs for me was the idea that they could be anywhere. The Loch Ness Monster was confined to Scotland, Bigfoot could only lurk in the woods, but aliens could be anywhere. The idea that they could be watching you at any time was all part of the fun of believing in them as a kid. And the fact that aliens could be whatever you wanted them to be. Maybe friendly and precocious like E.T., or deadly and malicious, or just advanced and neutral. They were whatever you made them out to be. EarthBound is awesome for a myriad of reasons. One being they took a lot of my childhood interests and crammed them into one epic RPG. Nessie, Bigfoot, aliens, dinosaurs, zombies — EarthBound strikes a certain childhood chord with me no other video game ever has.
Goonies + Peanuts + The Wonder Years + Dragon Quest
OUR HEROES
An all-American kid living in an all-American town, Ness is proof that there lies a hero deep inside each one of us. He’s the kid next door, with a loving mom, a plucky sister and a workaholic but extremely generous dad. One minute Ness is living a basic ordinary life, but when the meteorite crashes, everything changes. An alien believes Ness to be the chosen one with the power to alter cosmic events. A nice all-around character with a good balance of speed, IQ, offensive power and psychic ability. His weapon of choice is a baseball bat. This journey will drain and test Ness at every step of the way. He enters it as a kid, but one way or another, he’s going to leave it a man.
Remember your Winnie Cooper growing up? You know, your biggest childhood crush? That’s kinda the role one might initially think Paula plays, but there’s so much more to her. Try incredible psychic powers and one mean frying pan. Paula loves to scramble eggs, if you get my drift. She doesn’t mind rolling up her sleeves and getting her hands dirty. Hailing from Twoson, her mother runs the Polestar Preschool. Paula’s the first one to join you on your epic quest, and you must rescue her from the clutches of an evil cult called the Happy Happy Village, led by Mr. Carpainter. Being one in touch with her spiritual side, Paula can pray in a pinch. I renamed her as Jenny, based on my own Winnie Cooper growing up.
No healthy childhood would be complete without the aid and presence of a best friend. While Jeff is not touted as Ness’ best pal, I like to think of him as such. The mechanical genius of the team, Jeff is son to a famous scientist. It shows, as he can use machines and gadgets that no one else on the team can. He also has a knack for repairing broken devices, which proves to be invaluable. While he doesn’t possess any psychic ability, Jeff makes up for it with his tremendous knowledge of being able to fashion great weapons out of broken items. He might be a little weak offensively, but his IQ is critical to the group’s success. I renamed him Nelly, in honor of my childhood best friend, Nelson.
The mysterious prince from the East (Dalaam to be precise) is the third and final friend to join you in your quest. Being the oldest member of the group, plus possessing that ever so mysterious charm of being from somewhere far, far away, Poo has great physical, mental and spiritual strength. One of his best talents is the magic ability to assume the shape of an enemy attacker (known as Mirror). Trained in ancient martial arts, this mystical fighter is a much welcomed addition when he finally enters the fray a decent way into the game. He is a bit of a ladies’ man, too, which gives his character an interesting layer to say the least. I renamed Poo to be Sushi-X, in honor of a family friend growing up who, much like Poo, was older than I was and had sort of a mythical aura about him. Everyone in my gaming group called him Sushi-X because he loved EGM and Street Fighter II.
THE REAL HERO
THE STORY GOES…
Sunday, 2 PM, the first day of summer
It’s another idyllic sunny day in the small, sleepy town of Onett. Turning off your Super Nintendo, you grab your bike and head off for your weekly paper route. You’ve been working hard to save up enough to buy that new Super Nintendo RPG EarthBound. Hell, you’re so ambitious you even ride out as far as Twoson. You certainly don’t mind it, as there’s nothing like riding your 10 speed bicycle, the wind whipping against your face, that open road ahead. For that small window of time, you’re a free man. Riding out to Twoson was always a bit of an adventure. You could almost feel the whiskers kicking in. Times have changed now. Kids aren’t allowed to go out alone anymore… but back then… this was our life. Besides, it was in Twoson where your crush, Jenny, resides. You’ve stalked, uhhh, I mean, seen her working around the preschool whenever you passed by. You never had any houses on that block of town, but that never did stop you from willingly and happily taking the scenic route.
Having hand-delivered the odd paper or two to Orange Kid, you’ve developed a bit of a relationship with him. He is Twoson’s infamous inventor, well, one of the two. The other is Apple Kid but no one likes him. Orange Kid on the other hand is a chick magnet. After all, ya can’t compare apples to oranges… [har har -Ed.]. Being that you’re Steve, and NOT such a ladies’ man, you decide to stop by today for a bit of advice on how to win hearts and be more than just another sappy shoulder to cry on. Normally busy, Orange Kid is in a very giving mood today — he spends the better part of an hour divulging some insider tips that’s sure to make even Steve a certified G and a bonafide stud. Rejuvenated, you spend the next couple hours over at the flea market in Burglin Park and Twoson’s pride, MACH PIZZA. Sure, Onett’s Burger Barn is 5-star quality according to their 275 Yelp reviews and counting, but Onett’s not exactly known for its pizza. It’s just another reason why you never complain when it’s time to ride over to Twoson. But you never share this with Orange Kid, fearing that he just might laugh at you if he ever knew the real reason.
Seven hours later…
BLINK BLINK. Your eyes open slowly as you realize you fell asleep in Burglin Park. The once inviting sunshine has withered, giving way to a cold, bleak darkness. Mom’s probably worried but this is the mid ’90s when kids could get away with such things. Your bicycle still safely beside you, you hop on and bound homeward.
A cool breeze flows through your hair
Good old home. It’s your haven. Even though your dad isn’t around, you have almost everything you could want. Sure, you got annoying neighbors, but hey nothing’s perfect. As you head out of Twoson and back to Onett, you beam ear to ear having learned some of Orange Kid’s secrets of the trade. There’s no way Jenny can resist you now.
On THIS night, something incredible is about to happen…
By now the sleepy town of Onett has been entirely devoured by darkness. An eerie stillness settles over the suburb, sending a chill up your spine. What once stood as an assuring sight during the day has turned into something sinister in the night. But crime has always been so low that no one really pays mind to anything bad happening in this quaint quiet town. Of course, we all know that’s how it usually starts out…
Jenny I got your number! 867-5309…
Being an invincible kid ripe off acquiring the fortified knowledge of the players’ handbook, you’ve got not a single care in the world as you come bounding down the all too familiar sight of the suburbs. Closing your eyes and dreaming of your beloved crush, Jenny, you have no idea that a terrible terror is about to overtake your quiet, sleepy town. And thrust you toward a hellacious voyage that will see you ultimately fulfilling your God-given destiny…
They’re here…
Meanwhile, somewhere in Onett, a woman wakes up in a pool of her own sweat. A loud bang outside her bedroom sends shivers down her spine. It’s coming from the den. Frightened, she clutches the blanket to her chest while listening in the darkness… silence. Then suddenly, RAP RAP RAP. Someone or SOMETHING wants in. Cautiously tip-toeing her way to the bedroom door, a dark, shadowy and twisty figure appears from behind her…
Time to do some investigating…“Yes sir, going home pronto…”“What the hell!”
After “going home pronto” (AKA sneaking about), you find your annoying neighbor, Pokey, poking around in police business. Whatever’s happening here tonight has to be huge, and you’re not gonna miss it for the world.
OPD — clearly top of the line officers
“Officer, sir, if you don’t mind just letting me slip through here. I have a friend I need to check up on.”
“Sorry kiddo, no can do. I’ve been given strict orders from the chief not to let anyone pass through, and that especially includes punk kids such as yourself.”
“Okaaaay… how about this nice glazed donut, then?”
“GAH! Alright kid, you’ve got five minutes but ONLY five, you hear?!”
“GET! ALL OF Y’ALL! GEEET!”
“Hey, who let this punk kid through?”
“Steve! Boy am I glad to see you. Something strange is going on…”
“Alright, enough! You bastards get on out of here!”
Atop the hill, as the police drag you away like a rag doll, you catch a glimpse of a fallen meteor. Rubbing your eyes in disbelief, you wonder if it’s just a dream.
Stagger to bed like Otis Campbell on a Saturday night
Mom knows best. One look at your kisser and nothing else needs to be said. Still shaking, you saunter to your bedroom. But before you can replay the night’s events in your mind, your head hits the soft, cool pillow and you fall into a deep sleep…
Well I’ll be damned. Or rather, oh my land!
The boys set off…
“There’s my bro, Picky! Quick, Steve, save him! Or else my parents are gonna let me have it!”
“Wait, why am I helping you again?”
“Because you’re Steve, an all around good guy!”
“Oh, of course. Damn, it’s a curse to be this kindhearted and good looking.”
Buddy: Master, I don’t think Pokey said good looking but whatever…
Upon arriving at the top they come within 15 feet of the meteor. The air is hot and humid; you can still see steam coming from its core…
“Umm, you go on ahead and grab him, Steve.”
“What! He’s your brother. You go fetch him.”
“No, I think I’m good. I’m with Buddy. Right here is good for me.”
“Fine. You pansy.”
A mysterious voice suddenly fills the hot night airIt’s the voice! “If you build it, he will come”
On their trek home, the boys are stopped dead in their tracks when Star Man Jr., one of Giygas’ nefarious henchmen, appears out of nowhere to confront the 3 boys. Luckily, Buzz Buzz, the source of the voice, is by your side. Protecting the crew with his psychic shield, our hero is able to defeat Star Man Jr. After which, Buzz Buzz warns them the worst is yet to come but he has faith. Legend has it 3 boys and a girl are destined to save the universe. Buzz Buzz believes you are one of those 3 brave, young warriors.
In his dying breath, Buzz Buzz gives our hero the Sound Stone. “To defeat Giygas, your own power must unite with that of earth.” Our hero sets off to visit 8 sanctuaries to record the sound of each with the Sacred Stone. First stop? The infamous Giant Step!
During the quest you’ll meet many interesting catsGrowing up and lost innocence is a central themeWith its unique look and zany humor, it’s one of a kind
It truly is. Combining a modern setting with your typical suburban town in Anytown USA, any kid who ever grew up in a sleepy suburb in America can instantly relate. From the moment the game began, I knew right away I was in for one magical, epic journey.
There’s been some major hate dumped on the crude visuals of the game… but I personally love the look. They are INTENTIONALLY retro-fied. I like to think of it as 12-bit… it’s not quite 8-bit NES yet it’s not quite 16-bit. It’s just EarthBound.
Right?! Brings back a fond childhood memory or twoWait a second, I’ve seen this somewhere in a movie…The Purge. Here’s Fat Frank after DDP YogaAnd his creepy robot. Purge makers EarthBound fans?
While whimsical, it also carries some mature themes[It’s FUZZY PICKLES, damnit -Ed.]NPCs made exploring the various towns very funOK let’s see if they got the latest Goosebumps…
“I’D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!” -Bixby Snyder
EarthBound was meta before meta became chic[Someone say Street Sharks? JAWESOME -Ed.]It draws you in, like a good book or movie!Beat Titantic Ant to get the first Sound StoneThen use it to record the first of 8 melodies
Breaking the 4th wall… again :-D“He had a mohawk?” “Uh NO. But he wore a red hat”
By the time I grab my books, And I give myself a look, I’m at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by! It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell! If the teacher pops a test, I know I’m in a mess, And my dog ate all my homework last night, Ridin’ low in my chair, She won’t know that I’m there, If I can hand it in tomorrow, it’ll be all right! It’s alright, ’cause I’m saved by the bell!
[MY OFFICE — RIGHT NOW -Ed.]
It’s refreshing to play an RPG so bonkers
[On my favorite RPGs list I rank this at… #2… -Ed.]
“Damn Google put me out of business!” *grumbles*
Wait, who is Mr. X?!More on Mr. X in a bit…If your humor is offbeat, you’ll be right at homeIt made the surroundings feel more intimate
It appeals to the 10-year-old inside each of us
The “Cat Sewer Eyes” haunted my childhood…
When we were kids, my parents used to drive me and my bro to the Gaming Crew’s neck of the woods. About an hour into the drive we would pass by these sewers covered by giant “cat masks.” It was big enough that my bro and I could spot it clearly even from the freeway hundreds of feet away. I’d always wondered what the hell they were doing there. The cats became a trademark sight that my bro and I would always point to anytime our parents drove us by. This part of EarthBound brought back buried memories of those bizarre giant sewer cat masks…
Magic Cake takes ya from suburbia to the far eastPoo adds a certain mystique to the group
You are introduced to the 4th and final player of your party, Poo, or in this case, Mr. X. He’s a smooth cat prince living in the palatial mountain village of Dalaam. Take X on a life-altering quest to gain the power of wisdom, valor and patience as you karate chop and decimate all obstacles blocking you from enlightenment. After all, you simply can’t beat a hideous alien force without the pivotal aid of a badass martial artist who hails from a far away land, can you? Well, maybe, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be nearly as fun.
I love the aesthetics of DalaamSushi-X was, purportedly, a ladies’ man. Purportedly
Sushi-X was a cat that ran in my gaming group back in the day. He was older than most of us and he always walked around with this certain aura of mystique. In many ways I looked up to him as a kid growing up. We affectionately nicknamed him Sushi-X for his affection of EGM and Street Fighter II, just like the infamous Sushi-X persona on the old EGM review crew. Unfortunately the game didn’t allow me to fit in “Sushi-X” so I went for the next best thing: “Mr. X.”
It felt so satisfying gliding down these ropes!
Read “Summer of Imports” for more on NellyStory of my life…No ’80s child could ever forget LITE-BRITE“LITE BRITE, LITE BRITE. Make a face to glow at night!”All good things must come to a bittersweet end
JENNIFER — MY CHILDHOOD WINNIE COOPER
Of course. Steve, a man of great probity [Riiight -Ed.]We all had one major childhood crush…
Jennifer and Elaine were the two hottest girls in the 5th grade. Nothing could beat being in the same class with your best friend as well as the two cutest girls in school. Nelson favored Elaine while I preferred Jennifer. Sadly, my family moved in the middle of 7th grade and that was the last I saw of Jennifer… until 7 years later. One day during my sophomore year in college I was walking down this long hallway when a young beautiful lady walked right by. Instantly I got a huge whiff of 1994 and was suddenly transported back to my childhood. Could it be, was it — yes, it was Jennifer. Too paralyzed to say anything, I could only watch in silence as we went in opposite directions until she disappeared around the corner. I kicked myself for not saying hi, hoping that we’d bump into each other again. As fate would have it, not long after that, we did. I asked her if she remembered me from elementary school. She smiled warmly and said “Of course. I remember you suddenly left one day in junior high and that was that.” I nodded, the both of us soaking in the moment. Life was different back in the ’90s. We didn’t have Facebook or email to stay in touch. 7 years is a long time not to see or speak to someone but she remembered me. It meant a lot.
A long time ago I used to wonder what might have happened between me and Jennifer had I never moved. My imagination wandered to an alternate future where we’re happily married with two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. She’s now married with a kid. The last time I saw her was about five years ago. I was acting in a musical and she came out to support me. We exchanged pleasantries and hugs after the show in the lobby. And that was the last I ever saw of Jennifer — my childhood Winnie Cooper.
Well, are you, Jenny?Hey now! What the hell…A drive-in is the only thing EarthBound is missing
KNOW YOUR MOTHER. TREAT HER RIGHT
Mr. T hates how Mother was disrespected
As many of you know by now, EarthBound is the 16-bit sequel to the 8-bit Famicom game Mother. Mother was released in Japan July 1989, and was set to come out in the US September 1990. But with the impending launch of the SNES, Mother was never released. There’s a pretty fascinating history behind this, and you can find out all the sordid details by way of a quick Google search. There are also some great YouTube history videos on this subject matter. The game has since been fan translated, and is known now as EarthBound Zero. EarthBound on the SNES is known as Mother 2 over in Japan. There was also a Mother 3 released in 2006 for the GBA, but it never left the land of the rising sun. EarthBound is the only Mother game ever to see an official US release. A crime if you think about it.
Mother 3 on the Game Boy Advance (2006)
Mother 3 has since been fan translated. To date, this has been the final game in the beloved Mother series. It’s sad that two of the games never left Japan. It’s a bit sad also that many gamers know of Ness via Super Smash Bros and not EarthBound, although his Smash outings have definitely stirred interest from people who came in knowing nothing about the Mother series. I guess that’s not a bad thing at least.
FUN EARTHBOUND CLONES
Wacky Japanese high school + the weird west…
There are 2 SNES games I would highly recommend to EarthBound fanatics. Both of them are Super Famicom exclusives with English fan translations available. The first title is called Gunman’s Proof which is actually an action RPG along the lines of a Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. It’s got tons of charm and quirkiness and is simply a load of fun. Think Zelda meets the wild wild west with a dash of EarthBound thrown in for good measure. It’s one of the most criminally underrated SNES games out there. It’s on the short side but I can’t recommend it enough. The second is Adventures of Hourai High. Wacky and zany describes it best. It is like EarthBound meets Final Fantasy V. Taking place in a Japanese high school setting, you can join a wide variety of clubs — this is how you gain different skills. Its sense of offbeat humor is extremely reminiscent of EarthBound, and while it has its fair share of flaws, Hourai High is worth a visit.
One of the best SNES titles that few talk about
Gunman’s Proof is one of my personal favorites. I love the game’s humor, style, atmosphere and fun fast-paced gun slinging action. It’s too damn short (similar to The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang) but it’s a blast, pardon the pun, while it lasts. If you haven’t played it before, I highly suggest rectifying that.
It even apes EarthBound‘s font. A nice touch indeed
Adventures of Hourai High is a unique RPG. You can play as a boy or girl. The dialogue is hilarious and almost as entertaining as EarthBound. Sadly, a few key flaws hamper Hourai High from being a notably nice game. The encounter rate is way too high, and there was a major screw-up: weapons and armor equipped do not change your stats. Somehow, the programmers botched this and so you only increase in stats by leveling up. In essence, you never have to buy new weapons or armor.I still recommend it to diehard EarthBound fans however, despite its glaring flaws.
EarthBound fans will appreciate Hourai High‘s humor
“I am. Traded in my bat and cap for a 10 gallon hat”
WHAT THE CRITICS (AND YOU) SAID
Super Play Magazine loved it
EarthBound is one of those interesting and fascinating cases of a game that got its fair share of love when it came out originally. But really it wasn’t until years later that it exploded in popularity. Curiously, EGMnever did review it. GameFan did, however. They gave it scores of 85, 90 and 92%. Super Play Magazine scored it 88%. In a recent poll I asked the public to rate EarthBound on a scale of 1-10. One voter gave it a 1. Another gave it a 7. A few rated it an 8, but the majority of readers voted 9. Of course, there was a healthy smattering of fans who gave it the perfect 10 out of 10 score. Pretty much what I expected — lots of 9s and 10s with one vocal minority who gave it the lowest rating possible. Oh Earthbound, truly the polarizing RPG of our time.
Few RPGs divided opinions as much as this oneNintendo Power ranked it #60 on its top 100 list
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I’ll always stop for pizza. Damn straight, son
I didn’t play EarthBound back in the day. When I started it up in November of 2012 it was an entirely fresh experience. Therefore, zero nostalgia goggles here. Two weeks and 30 hours later, I knew I’d just played one of themost engrossing and captivating games ever. From the refreshing and comforting sights of suburbia in the early stages of the game to the more exotic locales found later on, it took me on an incredible journey of youth, bravery, loyalty and adventure. I felt like I was playing an RPG that combined Goonies, The Wonder Years, Peanuts and Dragon Quest. Not a bad little recipe! If you love RPGs and you still haven’t played this, STOP whatever you’re doing. And go rectify this matter. Now.
It takes you back to your youth
EarthBound perfectly captures the sheer awe of childhood, combined with a longing desire to push one’s suburban limits to the very brink. Playing the game made me feel like a kid again. Like I was back in my old hometown haunts hanging out at the arcade, going around town to the local pizza joint and flipping through the latest Goosebumps book at the library. And that’s just the beginning of the game. Soon it all transforms into something much more, as you meet new friends and unlikely allies all in the name of stopping an implacable force known only as Giygas. The game opens with our hero in bed in his striped pajamas. It seems like any other ordinary night in the ol’ neighborhood of suburbia. You are then awoken — it’s great subtle symbolism because for the first time in your young prepubescent life, you’re truly awake. The many wacky, perilous and funny events to unfold all shape this tremendous coming-of-age adventure. You leave home and like any other epic story ever told, you embark on a journey that changes you from a boy to a young man. You’ll conquer many obstacles — both externaland internal. Playing EarthBound was like being in a never-ending state of reverie, and I loved every damn second of it.
Few games left such an imprint
There’s a certain timeless, nostalgic quality about this game. It stirs the feeling of being a kid in Anytown USA who leaves home to voyage on the adventure of a lifetime. From your local 3-story mall to far away lands exotic, mysterious and menacing, EarthBound tugs on all the right notes to create an experience like no other. The music’s an eclectic mix that’s among the best you’ll hear on the SNES. The gameplay is fairly standard, but there are some nice ideas here like instant wins and a rolling health meter. But EarthBound is so much more than this. EarthBound is, quite simply, a quintessential tale of growing up and overcoming trials in a not so perfect world. It’s light-hearted yet serious when it needs to be. The many diverse locales are great and I find the visuals to be a bit underrated. Many like to dismiss it, but I love the style and can’t imagine the game any other way. There’s a reason why EarthBound has so many fervent fans. It was a work of art that resonated with our inner child, leaving us with a lasting and memorable impression. Indeed, the tale of Ness and his friends is one that has stood the test of time. And one that I believe will continue to do so for generations to come.
This is a story of how a best friend, one groovy dad and some enticing imports made the summer of 1994 one for the ages. As a kid, I’d always dreamt of having one perfect summer. And 22 years ago…I found it.Some summers stay with you forever. Some more than others. On any given hot, lazy June Saturday afternoon, I still can’t help but think back to that fateful day. It was a summer of discovery… a summer of magic… THE SUMMER OF IMPORTS. There’s something about summer and gaming that goes together; especially though, when we were kids. There was a magic to it.
You just needed your best friend + some good games
Nothing completes a healthy childhood quite like sharing it with a best friend. While I had my legendary out-of-town gaming crew, I was fortunate enough to have a best friend outside of that group, Nelson, who lived within walking distance. We grew up together being best friends since Kindergarten. He and I were often in the same class together and we shared the same interest in just about everything. We spent a bulk of our weekends hanging out and playing games. Whenever I think back to my childhood or to the glory days of gaming, inevitably, Nelson always comes to mind.
I’d like to take a moment to pay my respects to the memory of renting games back in the ‘90s. Every weekend my dad would take me to the local rental store(s) and I would pluck out one title to bring back home. My brother, Kevin, was too shy or embarrassed (or both) to go rent games, so he always made me his little grunt to carry out the deed. Though I was renting the games he wanted (well, at least most of the time…) there was always something magical to those pseudo-adventures my dad and I shared. It was a weekly tradition, rain or shine. Sometimes, even Nelly would join me on those renting excursions. And there was one such instance that happened 22 years ago that left an indelible mark on us, making that summer one he and I would never forget.
The year was 1994, and as the final piercing school bell of that year rang, the euphoric cries of 800 kids rang out even louder. We all knew what stood ahead: 2 and a ½ relentless months of splendid carefree summer days: no teachers, no homework, and no school to interfere with our final days of childhood. As much as I love the fall and winter seasons for Halloween and Christmas, there is nothing… and I mean NOTHING… like summer time, especially when you had a best friend like Nelson to share it with. He and I had just finished the 5th grade together. It was the best year of my childhood. My best friend was in my class; we had Mr. G, the best teacher ever; we had the two hottest girls in our class, Elaine and Jennifer, and Nelson and I were simply at the top of our game. We were 10 years old, going on 11 that summer. We had come of age, and that summer was one for the ages.
Nelson rode his bike over the very first Saturday morning of that summer and my dad drove us to Game Hunter. Game Hunter was a legendary privately owned video game rental store. It was renowned in my neck of the woods for catering to the diehard gamer. Game Hunter didn’t bother to waste time with movies. It had every video gaming system library under the sun from the 8-bit Nintendo to the Neo Geo. Being able to actually touch and pick up those classic bulky Neo Geo boxes was incredible. Game Hunter even housed an arcade machine or two, plus they had a small anime section. How many stores could claim that?! Simply put, Game Hunter was a little slice of gaming paradise.
Imports as far as the eye could see
But, what made them stand out was their unforgettable import selection. Back then, imports symbolized a whole lot more than merely just the Japanese version of a game. Indeed, back then, imports held a certain aura of mystique to them, especially when you read all the little blurbs on those games in Electronic Gaming Monthly and DieHard GameFan on a monthly basis, realizing that they were an ocean away and that you would never even so much as sniff one. Seeing a wall covered by hundreds of Super Famicom boxes never failed to amaze my little ten year old eyes. They sat on the very top shelf, purposely out of reach. It was symbolic, even. They would cover the entire upper wall from left to right. You were completely mesmerized as your eyeballs darted from one treasure to another. It was a never-ending parade of divine, exotic esctasy. These were games that were either Japanese exclusives, or Japanese versions of games that were set to hit American soil a month or two later. It was nothing short of magical, and a time in my life that I’ll always cherish.
*** FLASH BACK TO LATE 1992 ***
The import that started the whole craze
Game Hunter’s origins began innocently enough on what appeared to be just another ordinary Saturday morning. But as fate would have it, this particular Saturday morning was anything but. My dad and I were set to embark on our latest renting escapade together. But first we had to stop by my cousin’s house which was a good 15 minutes away. After that my dad needed to run an errand at the local drug store a block from my cousin’s house. I didn’t mind as I always enjoyed being out with my dad, especially after a long school week. Little did I know that fateful morning I would stumble upon GAME HUNTER. The store was decked out from top to bottom with video games from every system imaginable. You had the 8-bit Nintendo, Neo Geo, handheld games and everything else under the sun. I wasn’t a religious kid but I’m pretty sure I thanked God right then and there.
I made my way over to the SNES section looking for my brother’s requested title of choice. When I happened to gaze up, I discovered the upper shelf teeming with hypnotic Super Famicom imports. At that point, all bets were off as I had officially gone rogue. Sorry, Kevin. Power Athlete caught my eye. My dad lifted it off the top shelf and I examined the back of the box. It was a Street Fighter II clone. Sold! My dad obliged and that day I came home with the Japanese version of Power Moves. My brother flipped out because A). I disobeyed him and B). we found out that it didn’t even play on our Super Nintendo; it refused to fit inside the cartridge slot. I had never seen my brother so damn angry before. I promptly called Game Hunter to let them know of my plight, and they explained how I had to rent the device that allows one to play import games on an American SNES. Yeah thanks guy, you could have warned me about that before I left. Yeah, let’s just say Game Hunter was never known for their stellar customer service. But, much like how one goes to Five Guys for greasy goodness, we went to Game Hunter for their legendary and vast gaming library. After all, nobody goes to a concert for meditation.
“CYBORGS AIN’T LADIES!”
Luckily, they still had one in stock and said they would hold it for me. So, being the great father that my old man was, we traveled back to Game Hunter to pick it up. This time, even my brother came along as he himself wanted to come see this new store that I’d hyped to the moon. Once there, our pops rented the special converter adapter for a dollar while Kevin and I stood there gawking at the import selection. The very next week, he and I went back and we picked up our 2nd import game, The Combatribes. We had fun terminating Martha Splatterhead and her sleazy gangs. Game Hunter became our new favorite store. It was revered within my gaming circle for damn good reason.
*** BACK TO JUNE 1994 ***
It was like witnessing the Holy Grail
There Nelson and I stood, eyes popping, drool coming down the side of our mouths. On the very top shelf sat the Super Famicom ports of Fighter’s History, King of the Monsters 2 and Saturday Night Slam Masters (Japanese name Muscle Bomber). These were 3 arcade-to-SNES conversions that Nelson and I were dying to play! And on that idyllic June Saturday morning there they stood right before our very eyes. Their US counterparts were still weeks, even months away! After a brief moment of dead silence, Nelson and I looked at each other in astonishment. And just like how it was over a year ago when I first saw Power Athlete, at that precise moment in time I’d forgotten whatever game my brother wanted me to rent. Once more, I had gone rogue.
Who didn’t want to use Karnov in a fighting game?
The only “dilemma” was picking which one of those three games to rent. The indispensable thing about having your best friend along with you meant he could rent one and you could rent one. Nelson was adamant on choosing Fighter’s History, the infamous Street Fighter II clone that Capcom even attempted to sue. I was plenty happy about that as I loved Fighter’s History in the arcades and was long anticipating the SNES port. I always felt the game was a bit underrated. Good pick Nelly! Now it was my turn. King of the Monsters 2 or Muscle Bomber?
Who didn’t want to use Haggar in a wrestling game?
I had played Saturday Night Slam Masters a good bit in the arcades. I adored Capcom’s representation of the zany pro wrestling world cranked to the 10th degree, thanks to Slam Masters’ comic book-like violence and über-wacky wrestlers that were even MORE outrageous than those found in the WWF. After all, few things can rival spewing venomous mist into someone’s eyes, or piledrivering bastards into oblivion all over the globe with Metro City’s mayor! It was a tough call at first, but then I remembered something…
Time to put my great white whale to rest!
King of the Monsters 2 and I were like two SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT. Somehow, we always missed one another. I never played the arcade once. As a staunch supporter of the original, I was dying to FINALLY play the sequel. From 1992 to 1994, finding a King of the Monsters 2 arcade became my white whale, so to speak. None of the local arcades had it for whatever reason. And the one time that I did find it, it was at an arcade hall 2 hours away from home, but of course the machine was broken. That sums it up perfectly. It was that one game that somehow always managed to elude me. Standing there with a choice between Saturday Night Slam Masters or my great white whale, King of the Monsters 2, it dawned on me suddenly which one I was going to pick.
As Nelson and I rode home in the backseat talking excitedly about our import finds, it dawned on me that I soon had to face the music. The last time I went rogue and rebelled against my brother he did everything but tear up the house. But I figured with Nelson by my side, maybe Kevin would be less demonstrative. After all, in public or whenever there were guests, Kevin had no choice but to uphold a certain degree of decorum. Nelson knew this even without my having to ask him for backup. That’s how close we were. Like I said at the beginning, nothing completes a healthy childhood quite like having a best friend support you through thick and thin. He gave me a nod as my dad pulled into the driveway; I knew he had my back. The moment of truth had arrived. My dad went inside the house as Nelly and I stood there on the driveway — import games in hand.
We were delaying the inevitable. But there’s a reason they call it the inevitable.
“Did you get it??” my brother asked excitedly as he came to the door a minute later.
“Uhhh, no. But I got this,” I stammered, handing the game over to him as if it were an adequate consolation prize. It wasn’t.
“King of the Monsters 2?!” A mixture of shock and disgust filled his voice. “Was my game there for rent or not?” His eyes, which had turned into burning coal, burrowed its way deep in my soul.
The infamous scene of the crime
I could easily have lied, “No, your game was rented out.” But I was a straight shooter. In hindsight… maybe I was being foolish. But I had made my choice to disobey my brother. The least I could do was be honest about it. When I told him I forgot to look for his title once Nelson and I caught sight of the imports, my brother lost control. The scary thing was all this happened even in front of Nelson. I can only imagine how much crazier it would have been without Nelson there next to me. My brother flipped out, stomping and screaming expletives like a drunken sailor. Then he ran to my room, sprinted back and threw my Crash Dummy break-apart plush buddy, Spin, out the door. It smacked me in the face with such velocity that the head flew off its shoulders. Thank goodness it was just plush! Nelly retrieved the head which had rolled onto my front lawn and placed it back on Spin’s headless Velcro neck. You would have thought that I killed my brother’s puppy or something. He stormed off, leaving the door open. You know those parts in action movies where the guy says, “Don’t you think this is a trap?” Yeah. I took one glance inside and then back at Nelson. Once again, without even having to say a word, he knew. Just to confirm, he said, “Um… let’s go back to my place for a while…”
Thank God it was plush
Shoot, you don’t gotta tell me twice! I fled the crime scene faster than OJ Simpson.
Walking back to Nelly’s house
And so it was. On the first Saturday afternoon of my last carefree childhood summer, I found myself walking with Nelly to his house. He clutched his copy of Fighter’s History while I held King of the Monsters 2, along with my Crash Dummy action buddy, Spin. I’m sure we were a sight for sore eyes. As soon as we got out of viewing distance, Nelson started trash talking my bro. One might think I would happily join in to pile on, but no. Like a battered victim of Stockholm syndrome, I actually defended my brother a little bit. Hey, blood is blood, no? Sure my bro could be a little rough around the edges, and there were plenty of times where I wished he could have been more quixtoic and slow to anger, but you don’t get to choose family. I mean, sure, he could snap every once in a while, but he wasn’t a bad guy, or a psycho or anything. Nelson couldn’t believe I was defending Kevin. Finally the matter was dropped as his house came into view. Suddenly, the excitement of our import snags revived us. We were about to play two arcade conversions not anyone else in the entire town had, so that made us, as far as we were concerned, thetwo luckiest sumbitchesthat weekend ^_^
There are some gaming images you’ll never forget
We wasted no time firing up Nelly’s Super Nintendo. We threw in Fighter’s History first and took turns wasting the computer opponents. We were both impressed by how faithful it was to the arcade original. There was a simplicity to the game that Nelson and I found to be charming. To this day I can’t play Fighter’s History without remembering that fateful Saturday afternoon at Nelly’s. It was so hot that we propped open the living room windows and left the front door wide open. Lee’s stage is SEARED into my retina. That peaceful and calm lake, the family of ducks nibbling away, a fisherman enjoying the great outdoors with his line dipped lazily in the water, and those picture-esque moss-covered hills in the background. Finally, a formation of clouds move their way through the sky in a very haunting and majestic manner. This bucolic stage SCREAMS June 1994 to me. It’s an incredibly nostalgic sight and anytime I see it, I’m transported right back to Nelson’s living room 22 years ago. This stage perfectly captures that whole time frame for me. One look and it feels like I’m 10 hanging out with my best friend on a hot June Saturday afternoon all over again.
Then we swapped it out for King of the Monsters 2. He chose Cyber Woo (the King Kong doppelgänger) and I picked Super Geon (the Godzilla lookalike). We waded our way through the various cities demolishing everything in sight. Beating all the bosses 2-on-1 handicap style made for mindless monster mash ‘em up fun. Finally, after several hours of switching between the two games, late afternoon descended upon us and we agreed that maybe Kevin had cool down by now. Nelson headed back with me. We couldn’t hide out at Nelly’s forever. The only question left… was Kevin still pissed?
It was the longest walk of my lifeI was SHOCKED to my bone all right…
I found out that day that miracles exist when Kevin no longer wanted to kill me. Instead, he wanted to kill giant alien monsters from outer space. It’s funny how we each had our own pet favorite. Nelson liked Cyber Woo, I dug Super Geon and my brother was all about Atomic Guy. The three of us rotated turns and passed off the controller whenever one of us died. On some stages it was Kevin and me. At other times it was Nelly and me. There was even Kevin and Nelson. Seeing them laughing together as they trashed the Grand Canyon was pretty cool. A few hours ago no one could have predicted this outcome. Now watching the two of them working together as one cohesive unit, you never would have thought there was any kind of beef there. It was poetic, even. And of all the gaming memories I harbor, that one remains, still to this day, one of the sweetest ones. It’s a reminder of how gaming has a strange way of bringing people together.
Saturday night’s alright for fighting
The three of us played King of the Monsters 2 and Fighter’s History to death that unforgettable weekend, before returning them both late on Sunday evening. I told my brother we also saw Saturday Night Slam Masters. He grew pale at the mention, being a Slam Masters fanatic. We’d played it tons in the arcade. He ordered me to go rent it the next weekend. This time in particular, I was more than happy to carry out his command. No fat chance of me going rogue, as Slam Masters was also right up my alley with its outlandishly wacky wrestlers and frenetic 4-player mayhem. Giant foam fingers, flashing cameras, comic book moves come to life, and Mike F’NHaggar, made Saturday Night Slam Masters or in this case, Muscle Bomber, one fantastic brawl-for-all.
A SPECIAL GAME HUNTER EULOGY
In Loving Memory of GAME HUNTER
Game Hunter eventually closed shop in the late ’90s as rental stores started to become more and more a thing of the past — they were fast going the way of the dinosaur. While their service wasn’t always top-notch, I’ll always remember them fondly for their import selection. Game Hunter arrived during a precious period of my childhood, and at a special timein gaming when renting games blindly and taking weekend trips with your old man was all part of the magic and wonder of the hobby. Sometimes the game you wanted was rented out at the first two or three rental stores, so you had to go to your 4th or 5th option around town to find it.. It just meant more hunting and more quality time spent with your old man. I’ll never forget those days when my dad and I would hit up all the rental stores every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. They symbolized a simpler time in my life. A time where bills, junk emails and clogged six-lane highways didn’t yet exist. The renting relics of my youth were more than just brick and mortar. They are deeply embedded in what made gaming as a child so magical and wondrous. I’m so thankful I was able to enjoy it with a best pal like Nelson.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
It was a howling good time
The summer of 1994 was memorable for many reasons. It’s hard to believe those halcyon days are over twenty years old now. I credit Game Hunter, the Super Nintendo and Nelson for helping to create so many fond memories. It was in large part thanks to those three that made summer of ’94, the last carefree summer of my childhood, bar none, the best one I had as a kid.
Throughout the course of history, man has always been mystified, befuddled and captivated by the female race. Whether it was your first serious crush in the 5th grade or “the one you let get away,” since the dawn of civilization men have longed to find the right partner. For some it comes easier than others. Regardless, safe to say many of us will agree that we’ve all experienced some type of heartbreak and success along the way. Some have already found “true love.” Others are still searching. The rest simply may not (yet) care.
Whichever end of the spectrum you fall under, you have to admit, the relationship dynamics between man and woman is a timeless tale, almost akin to that of good vs. evil (and Lord knows which one we are). Tonight, I’m proud to present to you a great story of man and woman. From the days of when cavemen threw down to prove their love and gain the affection of fair Ms. Cave Lady, when it comes to love, all bets are off. Maybe gloves, too. Sometimes, you can’t even trust your own friends…
But does love really, truly conquer in the end?
IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT
Growing up in the late ’80s to mid ’90s was a glorious time. Among awesome Saturday morning cartoons and toys, you had the 8-bit NES phenomenon, the epic 16-bit rivalry, the 2D Fighting Game Golden Age, the DooM era, Nickelodeon, Hulkamania, Michael Jordan, and so on. Of course, such a list would be incomplete without mentioning those four magical letters…
What is this, 2004? Try againTsk tsk…
C’mon, think back some 25 years… what ruled Friday nights?
“YOU GOT IT, DUDE!”
TGIF exploded onto the scene in the late ’80s and enjoyed many successful years of high viewership. My favorite lineup? Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers and Step By Step. Just two straight hours of enjoyable family programming. There was nothing like dashing out of school every Friday afternoon, beating the record you set the previous Friday, hanging out at your best friend’s house (or vice versa), playing video games galore and then at 8 plunking your little hiney right in front of the tube. You knew for the next two hours you were set for a night of good laughs and cheers. What a terrific way to ring in the weekend! Oh kids today don’t know what they’re missing…
Uncle Jesse was the best
My favorite show from the TGIF lineup was a dead tie between Full House and Family Matters. During Full House‘s infancy, the show had six characters: Danny was the father of DJ, Steph and Michelle Tanner. His wife Pam sadly passed away. To help Danny raise the three girls you have Danny’s brother-in-law (Pam’s brother), Uncle Jesse, and Danny’s best pal, Joey. Shenanigans and sappy pep talks ensued. It’s corny but to me that was part of its charm.
Tonight, I pay tribute to my favorite episode from one of my all-time favorite shows.
It’s got the lot, this one:
Thunderstorm
Flashbacks
Pink bunnies
Mr. Potato Head
Abe Lincoln on a stick
Bob Saget
Oh yeah[Sounds a bit dodgy… -Ed.]
So go ahead — don your fanny pack and throw on a snap bracelet — because we’re about to wind up the wayback machine and pay a visit to simpler times.
WHERE WE’RE GOING TONIGHT, BABY, WE DON’T NEED ROADS!
Enjoy. And of course, we gotta start with the Full House intro, no?
JESSE’S GIRL (original air date: November 6, 1987)
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”“What’s going on down here? What’s with all the screaming?”“Danny, this psycho was about to mash my potato”
“I WAS NOT — I heard a noise down here; I thought it was a prowler.”
“Liar.”
“SHHH! Follow me, I think it’s over here…”
“Hello..”
“AHHHH!”
“Don’t EVER say hello to your dad like that again”“Do you guys play baseball every night after we go to sleep?”
“Well actually girls, um, your uncle Jesse’s holding a bat because he’s a WEE bit miffed at me.”
“A WEE bit miffed?? I’m miffed off! When I think about what you did to me…”
“Come on Jesse! Let’s let bygones be bygones…”
“Alright — bye, YER GONE.“
“I don’t know what’s going on here, but why don’t you guys just STOP this and… give each other a hug.”
“… a hi-five?”
“I’m not in the mood. You know why? I’ll tell you why. It’s all because of a little story entitled Mean Mr. Joey Stabs Sweet Innocent Uncle Jesse In The Back.”
“STORY TIME!” “YEAH!!!”
“Girls, you don’t want to hearMean Mr. Joey Stabs Sweet Innocent Uncle Jesse In The Back, do you?”
“Yeah, it’s got a great title!”
“All right, one quick story but DON’T even think of staying up to watch Letterman. This better be PG.”
“It all started last week. The exterminator business was slow so I decided to start teaching guitar. I was waiting for my new student to show up…”
“She’s a laaaaay-deeeee. Sh — no, she’s a wooomb-maaan. *pause* She’s a moo-chaaaaa-chaaaa. … Maybe she’s a man.”
“Uncle Jesse, there’s a girl here to see you. This one’s GREAT.”
“Oh, that must be my new guitar student.”
“Yeah, RIGHT… come on in!”
“Hi”*GUITAR RIFF*
“I’m Corina Spicer.”
“I’m Jesse Cochran.”
“… I’m outta here!”
“Corina… that’s a real pretty name… SO! Welcome to the Jesse Cochran School of Music. I’ll take this for ya.” *takes guitar*
“Interesting decor… I don’t meet a lot of men with pink little bunnies on their walls.”
“I’m also a mouseketeer.”
“I like that in a man.”
“Good! Cause today is ‘Anything Can Happen’ day…”
“Here, take a seat. Why! Because we like you! Ha, I kill myself”
“Jesse, I have to warn you. I have absolutely NO musical experience. I teach 2nd grade and I wanna accompany my kids in sing-alongs.”
“That’s wonderful, you get to work with children. I LOVE YOUNGSTERS!”“Uncle Jesse!!”“NOT NOW!”“Aw.” “AWWWW! Poor Mister Teddy”
“I tell you what, as soon as we’re done, I’ll help you sew Mr. Teddy’s head right back on Mr. Teddy’s body.”
“OK honey bunch sugar pie?”“Honey bunch? SUGAR PIE?! THIS IS WEIRD”
*Corina giggles*
“Yer pretty — WATCH HIM!“
“Haha, my little niece, I could just eat her up… OK, back to music.”
After the lesson I invited Corina out for a little ride on my motorcycle. Seven hours later…
*Jesse and Corina enters laughing*
“You wanna stay and have a drink?”
“Oh I really can’t, I got other plans but thank you for a GREAT day. Guitar lessons, a picnic by the bay, candlelight dinner in the wine country. You do this for ALL your students?”
“Well that was the deluxe lesson. That’ll be four hundred seventy-five dollars!”
“Your check’s in the mail.”
“Alright.”
“I’ll see you next lesson, Wednesday night.”
“OK… Corina, I had a really nice time today.”
“EWWWWW!”
“Those are my nieces.”
“Heh… bye Jesse.”
“Bye Corina…” *closes door* “HAVE MERCY!“
“Don’t ever ooooh when your uncle’s kissing”“Joey, this was actually cleaner when the food was cooking in it”“Jesse, we saved you some chili”
“Not hungry.”
“Oh brother, not again.”
“Ohh-kaaay, what’s her name?”
“Corina.”
“KOR-REEN-NA?! Don’t you ever meet a Debbie, or a Susie?”
“OK fine, you guys crack all the jokes you want. But I’m tellin’ ya, when our eyes met, there was magic.”
“With you there’s always magic. You should wear a top hat and pull white doves out of your pants.”
“Fine, fine.”
“In Jesse’s defense, when it comes to love, I think anything is possible. I felt the same instant magic when I met Pam. She walked into my tenth grade geometry class, sat down right next to me and I said (speaks in high pitched voice), ‘Hi, can I borrow your slide rule?'”
“You didn’t reach puberty by the tenth grade?”
“Not ’til I met Pam. But the next morning, I woke up with a mustache.”
“I’m sorry, no sale, boys. Love just does NOT happen that fast”
“Hey guys, you know how I know it’s real? I can’t stop smiling. I’m just smiling away like I’m Nancy Reagan… I just can’t stop smiling…”
“I STOPPED. Thanks to him. But Corina and I were madly in love”“We did see them kissing… EWWWWW!”
“Jesse, please stop making out in front of my kids.”
“Mr. Backstabber, why don’t you tell everybody what YOU did today”“Well, I woke up, turned off the alarm, did that stretching thing — “
“NOT THE STRETCHING THING, THE BACKSTABBING THING!”
“Hey could you pick up the pace a little bit? I’d like to get the girls to bed before Good Morning, America.”
“Well, it was stormy, and me, Danny and the girls were getting ready to watch The Wizard of Oz…”
“Here we goooo! Popcorn du jour, all in honor of Stephanie’s first viewing of The Wizard of Oz.”
“I’m psyched!”
“You should be, honey, it’s the sweetest little movie. There’s this pretty girl Dorothy, and she’s got this adorable dog, Toto, who gets… kidnapped by this horrible witch… but she gets her dog back and her house flies through the air and then… it, it lands on this… other horrible witch… whose feet curl up like party favors.
*ding dong*
Trust me honey, it’s the sweetest little movie.”
“Hi, I’m Joey, can I help you please?”
“I’m here to see Jesse.”
“Aren’t they all?”
“I’m Corina Spicer. I have a guitar lesson.”
“Oh, uh Jesse called to say he’s running a little bit late. Would you like to watch The Wizard of Oz with us?”
“Oh that’s my favorite movie.”
“Oh mine too. Come on in. Uh Corina this is Danny, Stephanie, DJ and Michelle. Corina.”
“Hi!”
“Oh dad something happened to the TV. It’s snowing in Kansas.”
“The cable goes out every time there’s a storm.”
“Fix it!”
“Steph, this is not something I can fix.”
“Fix it!”
“Steph, I’m gonna call the cable company.”
“You’ll get a BUSY signal. FIX IT!“
“Why wasn’t I born a cable repair man?!”
“Hey no problem. I do that Wizard of Oz bit in my act.”
“SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING, I’m very upset!”
“OK everyone, gather around for The Wizard of Oz. Grab a seat right in front. Here we go!”
“AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!”
“Oooh, sure is scary around these parts. There’s probably lions and tigers and bears oh my. C’mon you guys. Lions and tigers and bears oh my! LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS OH MY!!“
“RRRRRRRRAAAAAH-HAAAH-HAAAH-HAAAH-HAAAH! PUT ‘EM UP PUT ‘EM UP! IF I… WERE THE KING… OF A FOOOORRRRREST… HA-HA-HA!”
“I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!”
“I’m melting… melting… I feel like… butter!“
“If Oz had the power to get back to Kansas, just click your heels together three times and say, There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
*makes tornado sound* “Dorothy, wake up, your tea’s finished.”
*applause*
“Well, what did you think?”
“FIX IT!”
“Oh Joey, I loved it!”
“Yeah. That was incredible simulation. I hope you don’t feel bad when I rent the tape tomorrow. OK girls, come on, it’s time to get into your pajamas and ready for bed.”
“AWWWWWWWW!”
“This should only take… five or six hours… good night!”
“Aww, great kids.”
“Yeah they’re the greatest kids in the history of kids.”
“I love how children are SO open and natural. I think that’s why I went into teaching.”
“That’s why I refuse to grow up”
“Ohhh, you seem pretty grown up to me.”
“Haha, who, me? The guy who keeps Abe Lincoln on a stick in his bedroom?”
“Joey, you are SO funny. I think that a sense of uh, humor is a very sexy quality in a man. Your girlfriend must adore you.”
“Oh, I — I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“You’re not seeing anybody?”
“Well sort of. I’m seeing the dentist next Wednesday.”
“Well, if things don’t work out between you and the dentist, maaaaybeeee… you and I could get together.”
“Well, Dr. Hoffman is pretty cute, but he is married. So uh, pick a time.”
“How about right after my guitar lesson with Jesse?”
“Jesse… Corina… JESSE YEAH! Ah ha, yeah, uhhh, excuse me, I’m gonna go check on something in the kitchen…”
“Can I give you a hand?”
“Uhhhh, no, I’m doing fine.”
“What exactly are you checking on?”“Oh, I’m just doing some uh… RANDOM… checking”“Salt, pepper, DUCK, stove…”“… sink, faucet, Jesse’s Girl. Well, everything checks out”
“You know, he’s really crazy about you.”
“Yeah, well Jesse’s really a terrific guy. I mean, we had a really nice day together. But to be honest, there was really nothing special between us.”
“That’s not exactly how Jesse puts it. And if there’s one thing in life that’s sacred, you never mess with a buddy’s girl.”
“But I’m NOT his girl. All Jesse and I had between us was one little innocent kiss good-bye. It was nothing really… it, it was one of these.”
*quick peck*
“Oh, that right there, that was nothing…”
“It’s how I kiss my grandmother.”
“You must be very close.”
“It was like four lips shaking hands. Look, I think we can try again…”
Audience: “OH SNAPS!”“Oh good, you’re home”*dramatic music, fade to commercial*And now, a word from our sponsors!Yeah, like you were for Fuller House…
“So, where was I?”
“I came in and found you kissing the woman of my dreams.”
“Oh yeah… good memory.”
“So there we were. Jesse had walked in to find me kissing the woman of his dreams.”
“Oh good, you’re home”“The hell’s going on here?”
“Well Jesse, actually, it’s, it’s very simple. Um, Corina was choking on some bad cheese, so I initiated a Heimlich maneuver…
… And when that didn’t work, I tried to suck out the cheese… using the HOOVER maneuver!”
“Sooo, you weren’t kissing, you were SEARCHING for cheese?”
“… You look upset.”
“OH why would I be upset? You saving the life of someone who’s very special to me.”
“Jesse — “
“Uh Corina please. I’m not really in the mood to give a guitar lesson tonight. Besides, you’re probably still reeling from that near-death-by-cheese, why don’t you go home and practice.”
“Jesse wait a minute. There’s something I have to say… Corina really wasn’t choking on any bad cheese.”
“NOOOOOO…”“We were kissing”“NOOOOOO…”
“Corina, Joey and I should probably, uh, have a word together alone…”
“Look, I’m really sorry if there’s any sort of misunderstanding. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”
“Oh, there won’t be any trouble. Jesse and I are very close friends. We’ll have a heart-to-heart, and work this thing out in a very calm, adult, rational manner.”
“FREEZE! I have a baby and I know how to use it!”
“JOEY…”
“I’m warning you, she’s loaded!”
“PUT THE BABY DOWN.“
“Not a chance.”
“OK… OK fine, I’ll wait. You gotta put the kid down some time. Two three days that diaper’s gonna weigh five to six hundred pounds!”
“Jesse, I’m REALLY sorry. I should have stopped everything cold before anything happened. I should have talked to you.”
“Really…”
“Yeah, you were right. I felt this instant magic and I fell in love with her.”
“YOU fell in love with her… you CAN’T fall in love with her, man. I fell in love with her FIRST!“
“I’m sorry, but she likes me more.”
“How can she like YOU more than she likes ME!“
“Boys… stop this. Michelle has enough love for ALL of us. Don’t make her choose. Now both of you, give her a kiss. Go ahead, give her a kiss.”
“So now a second woman had come between us. I wanted to talk things out but Jesse said he couldn’t stand to look at me. Apparently, a Louisville Slugger puts him in the mood for a conversation.”
“I told ya — I heard a noise. I wasn’t gonna bat ya.”
“Alright girls, it’s time to go to sleep. Your uncle Jesse and Joey have told you such a WONDERFUL bedtime story. I’m sure you’ll have visions of jealous little sugar plums dancing in your heads.”
“But wait a minute! How does the story end?”
“Well Joey’s guilt drives him TOTALLY insane, BUT NO ONE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE.”
“I don’t think so. Who gets the girl?”
“It’s a WHOLE different world the second we go to sleep.”
“Good night, girls.”
“Good night, Dad.”
“Guys, come here.”
“What do you want now?”
“Before you guys duel to the death, let’s have one more conversation to work this out.”
“Not with this scum.”
“OK then just talk to me. Let me ask you boys a question, or two, about your beloved Corina. What are the things she cares about most in the world?”
“What does she look for in a relationship with a man?”
“Let’s try this one: what color are her eyes?”
“Hazel!”
“Green!”
“Green hazel, hazel green…”
“They have white around the edges I think”“Anyone know her last name?”“SPICER!”
“Pat Sajak knows more about his contestants. You know, I DON’T THINK you fell in love with Corina. THAT TAKES TIME. I think maybe… you fell in love with being in love. Am I right, Jesse?”
*cue sappy music*
“I DO seem to fall in love a lot. Just because I’m ALWAYS HOPING that this is THE ONE. I just want to meet one nice special girl I can spend my life with.”
“Aww Jesse, everybody WANTS THAT”
“But you don’t have to try so hard. When the right woman comes along, you really will know it.”
“I coulda sworn Corina was it. Maybe I did go a little overboard. I guess I was just shocked that she liked me as much as I liked her.”
“Why you shocked? Have a little faith in yourself you’re a good guy”
“As much as I hate to admit it, it seems like Corina likes you more than she likes me… GOD, I hate to admit it! Alright, you’re not scum.”
“I know that comes from your heart, Jess.”
“That was ALMOST semi-touching.”
*rustling noise from outside*
“You hear that noise?! I told you something’s out here!”
“Hi.”
“Corina! What are you doing here? Come in.”
“I really felt terrible about tonight and I came back to apologize. But then I heard chatting so I started to go home. Then I felt EVEN worse so I decided to come back! … Look, you both are GREAT GUYS and I would HATE to do anything to mess up your friendship. I’m really sorry. OK, now I’m gonna go home, AGAIN, good bye!”
“Corina, wait…
… I may have met you first but I… think we all know who belongs together here. Why don’t you take some time and get to know Joey. He’s a good guy. He’s got pajama problems but…”
“I LOVE THIS GUY!”
“Hug her, NOT ME, ya big dummy!”
“Sorry.”
“C’mon Jesse let’s leave these two alone. By the way, what were you REALLY gonna do with the bat?”
“I was gonna kill him.”
“That’s what I woulda done.”
“EWWWWWWWWW!”“Good night, girls”
“Good niiight!”
“Good night, girls.”
“GOOD NIIIGHT!”
EPILOGUE
I fell in love with this episode during my Spring Break of 2005. It was 2 AM, I couldn’t sleep and so I flipped on the TV. The stormy beginning set the mood right. The episode hit close to home — at that time I got out of a relationship with a girl who I thought was the one, but wasn’t. It wasn’t the prettiest of breakups, and people got hurt. But that’s love for ya. Or at least the search for love, anyhow. As Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years once put it eloquently:
“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope… all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect… who might be searching for us.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Earlier this year (February 2016), Full House received a revival on Netflix. It was hugely popular, and a Season 2 was quickly announced. It’s a fun little twist on the old formula. Now DJ is the widow, with three boys, and Stephanie and Kimmy play the roles of female Uncle Jesse and Joey. It is a bit corny, but hey, so too was the original. I enjoyed Fuller House.
That living room brings back so many memories
By the way, the name of the episode “Jesse’s Girl” was inspired by the infamous ’80s song Jessie’s Girl (Rick Springfield). Here’s the music video:
And here’s a fun/interesting remake of the song, performed by Frickin’ A. Look for the Rick Springfield cameo!
Finally, oddly enough, the character Corina Spicer (Elizabeth Keifer) was a one hit wonder (it was her one and only episode, talk about continuity). Poor Joey, eh? Meanwhile, Jesse went on to indeed find that “one nice special girl to spend the rest of his life with.” (Shout out to Lori Loughlin AKA Becky).
Talk about putting the spice in Spicer. Joey, how could ya let this one get away?
In the early-mid ’90s, few games matched the fun that Super Bomberman and Super Mario Kart provided. Ever wonder if someone was keen enough to sort of combine the two? A-Max did, at least, to some degree. Battle Cross is a 6-player single screen racer. It does an admirable job of cramming bits and pieces of Bomberman and Mario Kart. The air-bike is easy to control. Once you get in the zone, you’ll be screaming past tight corners, blowing up the competition, and scorching toward the finish line with dazzling flamboyance unseen since the glory days of Babylon.
Naturally, there are weapons and power-ups randomly strewn across the course at any given time. Nothing beats dropping a land mine under a hidden overpass… *evil grin*
Speaking of which, let’s take a look.
WEAPONS AND POWER-UPS (HOW TO EMPLOY)
Laser (press R to shoot)
Unlimited. You could be on one side of the track and still hit someone on the other. It’s weak though… only stunning the victim for a split second (but enough to tick the tar outta ‘em, which is half the fun really).
Speed Up (automatic)
Increases your speed for that entire race. Collect a couple and you’ll blaze right through the competition.
Matchless (automatic)
Zipping at break-neck speed, anyone caught in your path will flip out. It’s just like the Star from Super Mario Kart.
Land Mine (Y)
My favorite. The more land mine icons you collect the more you can lay at a time. If you collect three or four as I once did, you’ll OWN that race!
Nitro (X)
Speed burst. If you’re on a track with steep hills, activate it at the bottom and watch your guy FLY!
Missile (R)
A one shot deal that, when released, darts around the track until it finds someone or burns out.
Weight (R)
Like the missile, a one time deal that sends a blue skeleton disc around the track until it finds someone or passes out. This causes the infected driver to go considerably slower.
Turn Over (R)
Evil in its purest form. Bolts a yellow skeleton disc around the track — if it finds a target, that driver will temporarily have his control REVERSED. On basic tracks the transition is usually no biggie. But on those with lots of turns, it’s a true you-know-what. Luckily, when infected, a fairy (!) appears carrying a first-aid kit. Touch her and instantly be healed. Love it. Odd and rather weird, but very cool!
The reason for different buttons? So you can drop a land mine WHILE shooting your lasers. As NBA Hall-of-Famer turned commentator Bill Walton would say: “Now HOW cool is THAT?”
Three game modes: Battle, Grand Prix and Practice.
In Battle you pick from 1-30 laps to win a course. 15 is the default; I like playing on 10 just to keep things moving. Pick from 1-5 match wins. You can even select a new track after each round! In Bomberman, you’re restricted to the SAME field until one player can win the designated amount. But here, say it’s 3 wins to the trophy; well, you can play on tracks 1, 2 and 8 if you wish. Brilliant!
Up to 5 human players can play, with a total of 6 maximum bikers. Any combo is possible: 1-on-1 race, or 4 bikers instead of 6. Go 7 laps, or 27. Adjust the AI from 1-5. It’s very user-friendly, just like Bomberman.
The Grand Prix follows a storyline, but like Bomberman the meat of Battle Cross is playing the Battle mode (and preferably with some buddies to truly enhance the experience).
Nine initial courses are available, with one being unlockable. Let’s check ‘em out.
COURSE #1
Just your basic first stage that helps you ease into things. The course itself has no special features. A volcano rests peacefully in the middle and a friendly chap in the ocean enjoys fishing while observing the race. Oh and um… a Godzilla-like creature plays in the sand pit there… those wacky Japanese. They’re at it again…
COURSE #2
A couple puddles atop and a grumpy pirate who doesn’t like trespassers highlight this track. He launches a cannonball across the screen every five seconds or so. If you find yourself in the line of fire, don’t be a chump, jump!
COURSE #3
The orange arrows operate as a speed burst. This is the first track to implement high and low drops. I really like the curve before the finish line — it’s the perfect opportunity to smoothly turn the corner and accelerate on through. And for some reason, I really dig the way the grass looks. It’s so lush. It’s the little things!
COURSE #4
This course rocks. Leap over the wooden spikes and watch out for the rocket that comes screaming out of the hole. A little gate near the totem pole swings open periodically, allowing the precious possibility of a short cut. But if the gate closes as you go for it, the AGONY! The shrubbery at the bottom left obstructs the playing view. It’s ripe for mine-dropping. Overall this course has a good deal of strategy, making it one of my favorite courses in the game.
COURSE #5
See that wolf peering over the cliff there? Nice!It’s the little things that make video games cool I always say. Here the slopes get very steep and if you got Nitro, use it at that bottom hill. Your momentum can propel you straight through the finish line! It’s similar to using a mushroom right before the jump bit on the very first iconic Ghost Valley track from Super Mario Kart.
COURSE #6
Twice the hidden overpasses equals twice the potential danger of land mines. I love the corner where my red guy is at — making a smooth turn and having that long raceway to steam forward is pretty cool stuff.
COURSE #7
Love this devious track. It’s wide open… til you get to the two red pillars. To make matters worse, they move randomly! It’s a short stage but very fun because of the chaos the red pillars can cause. Blue and yellow there did OK — green and purple not so much! As for me, red, oh you know.. you know… uh… overlapping them. *cough* Nothing beats cutting through those pillars unscathed. Not only will you probably be in the lead but you’ll look real cool too, oh yeah.
COURSE #8
Those are some big animals! O_o Course gets a bit bumpy in the middle there. This is one of my least favorite tracks to be honest. It doesn’t seem as appealing as some of the others. Be sure to drop mines under that overpass, though…
COURSE #9
Pinball-mania. Madness I tells ya. The 3 yellow bumpers move and are hard to avoid. Hit the bumpers as I did here, and you’ll be bouncing back and forth for a few. He who minimizes mistakes, will win.
MISCELLANEOUS NOTES
-Graphics are nothing to write home about but as you can see are quite serviceable and for this type of game works
-Sound is OK, but I love the catchy course tunes
-Like Bomberman, it’s still decent enough fun to play alone, but the real treat is getting 4 other people to play… one of those games that’s perfect to play after a late night out
-Even your little brother or sister can play — there’s an option in Battle mode for “human-CPU” mode. Think of it like… auto-defense in baseball video games
-You won’t need to understand Japanese to enjoy this game, though the storyline in Grand Prix will fly over your head… but no biggie, ya know?
-Never a hint of slowdown
-The back cover of the manual has the best Engrish ever:
Those silly Japanese
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Battle Cross is a fun party game. It possesses a unique charm and little things like the wolf and revolving gate, for example, add a sense of life to the game. The more I played Battle Cross the more I liked it. It’s well worth owning, especially if you have like-minded retro gaming friends. It’s a shame this game never came out in the US, but thankfully we can import it without any hassles as everything in the game is pretty much self-explanatory. Now, I do have to say this. I liked this game a lot more when I first played it in 2006, nearly 10 years ago. Similar to The Firemen, another Super Famicom title, I was really impressed a decade ago when this was a fresh novelty. In revisiting it years later, while I still like and recommend it, it’s not quite as awesome as I remembered it being. The gameplay is not as ‘meaty’ as Super Bomberman or Super Mario Kart. Don’t get me wrong, I still like Battle Cross, but perhaps temper your expectations at the door before diving in. Obviously it doesn’t hold a candle to either of those iconic Super Nintendo games, but hey, few games can. Battle Cross is a funky example of a game that’s both “worthy” yet somehow “somewhat disappointing, considering.”
Back in the early-mid ’90s fighting games ruled the scene. Street Fighter II launched a phenomenon that spawned clone after clone. Very few came close to the level of Street Fighter. Some were even downright ATROCIOUS. But once in a while, one came along that completely surprised you. One of those games was a Super Nintendo exclusive. It never came out in the arcades, but Konami could have fooled me. Its name… Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters.
Last night a friend and I caught the latest TMNT movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. It was far better than I expected, especially since I didn’t like the 2014 version at all. I mean, it wasn’t great or anything, but I can genuinely say I wouldn’t mind the inevitable 3rd film in this Michael Bay series. Seeing the movie made me nostalgic for the Turtles from my childhood, and so it’s a perfect time to talk about one of the best fighting games the SNES ever saw.
EXCUSE ME, SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME
“It’s SF 2 Turbo with DEATH moves!”
Those were the haunting, earth-shattering words of my brother’s friend, Kerwin, back in December ’93. According to him, he had just played this new amazing fighting game — one that he claimed had“Fatality” like moves during combat and one that actually played better than Street Fighter II Turbo. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought Kerwin worked for Konami himself. At that time I had never conceived of anything like the idea of death moves. These were essentially SUPER special moves that dealt out a TREMENDOUS amount of damage and could only be done when your 2nd bar was full. Just the idea of two energy bars blew my 10 year old mind, let alone the idea of a screen-filling, flashy, super special attack. Maybe there was another game that had already done this at the time, but alI I knew was, Tournament Fighters was my first exposure to the wonderful wacky world of super specials. It’s one of those epic memories you always carry with you, in your gaming heart. TMNT:Tournament Fighters would have been terrific even without their Ultimate Attacks but WITH them it makes for one truly amazing fighting game.
Street Fighter II Turbo with death moves? Mind blown
Since late 1993, death moves have become a key staple in the genre. Everything from looks to command (i.e. how to pull off a super special move) has only gotten crazier and crazier. By comparison, these ones may seem tame today… but man, back in the day, they were something else to behold!
I wonder if she’s singing “Great Balls of Fire…”
Tournament Fighters has two bars. One serves as your energy bar while the second fills up each time you land a blow, blocked or not. It’s a free flowing bar, meaning that if you are not on the offensive the bar swings back the other way slowly but surely. Thus, a great deal of emphasis is put on being aggressive, rather than defensive. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself compromised as your opponent unleashes his possibly two or even three times in a single round. When full, the bar ignites and you have three seconds to perform your super special. If you fail to execute your big move in that time frame, then the bar swings back the other way. Thankfully, it moves one smidgen at a time. Meaning if for whatever reason you couldn’t pull off your big move, just one or two more (blocked) attacks will see your bar refilled once more. It was a brilliant and innovative feature for its time. Back in December of 1993, none of my gaming crew nor I had ever seen anything like the Ultimate Attacks. And we loved them. It changed the dynamic of a typical fighting game match, and some of the screen-filling moves were truly awe-inspiring 20+ years ago.
Side effects include…
However, there were some downsides to the Ultimate Attacks. Namely, since you only have about three seconds to unleash it… human opponents are very likely to block it. Though some can cause a good deal of damage even when blocked, it would be better if there was no time limit and the bar could remain full until you were ready to use it. It would have led to a bit more strategy. Instead, the game plays like a mad melee, which is not bad in its own right. Props for having these mega death moves at all.
CHRISTMAS MAGIC IN JANUARY
Santa has a Tic Tac with your name on it, Mikey
Having hounded both my parents about Clay Fighter and with them knowing how disappointed I was that I didn’t get it or even a video game that Christmas, my mom allowed me to buy one video game in January of ’94. I had just rented Clay Fighter and was thankful I did (boy, was it disappointing). They took me to Good Guys and I bought Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters. I had never played it before but it was #2 on my want game list that Christmas season, trailing only Clay Fighter. I grew up on the Ninja Turtles, and it looked like a terrific Street Fighter II clone. I loved the cover and will never forget seeing it at Good Guys looking all pretty in its wrapping. It seemed to call out to me. Right away I knew it was the one. My mom and dad took the game to the counter to pay for it while I stood there nearly quaking in my shoes. What a wonderful belated Christmas gift! It was the second SNES game my mom ever bought for me, just about one year after she’d bought me my first, King of the Monsters. It was one of the longest car rides home that I can remember. It was time to see if Kerwin was right or not — was this truly Street Fighter II Turbo but with death moves??
“I THOUGHT OH SWEET JESUS. I RAN FOR MY LIFE!”
THE STORY GOES…
BLAH — I ordered extra pepperoni!Suddenly the TV has been hacked
Mike:Hey, who hacked our tube? This is SO NOT COOL, DUDES! Raph:SHADDUP MIKEY! I wanna hear this… Don: Amazing, I wonder what kind of device they used to hack our streaming service? Leo: Guys, there could only be one villain behind this…
AH-HA! The rat has found his golden ticketThey don’t call him MASTER Splinter for nothing!
Classic, VINTAGE Konami
COWABUNGA! [You’re fired -Ed.]There’s even a code for Hi-Speed 3
I’ve always enjoyed the presentation / vibe of most Konami titles. They had a classic, basic yet sleek look to them. You could always count on Konami to deliver the goods
I was so sad SNES Martial Champion never happened
When I first saw this 20+ years ago, I instantly said to my brother, “It’s Martial Champion!” We liked it. It was different from most other fighting games which all seemed to have the same select screen. This one was different enough to be a bit of a stand out, however.
I remember picking Titi (AKA Chaos) first
Martial Champion came out February 1993. It was one of a thousand Street Fighter II clones flooding the market at the time. I fell in love with it, but I was basically sleeping with every fighting game that came out during that golden age of 1992 to 1994 or so. It was colorful, outlandish and a bit different from your average SF II clone.
Loved Titi so much that I even drew a pic
Titi (renamed Chaos in the US) was my favorite character. It looked like a cross between Freddy Krueger and a Chinese hopping vampire! Sold and sold! The game was unique thanks to its high jumps and how you could disarm your opponent and steal their weapon to use it against them. Looking back, it wasn’t a great fighting game or anything, but it was yet another fun entry in that epic era I fondly refer to as the ‘Fighting Game Golden Age.’
MARTRIAL Champions. Man, glad I learned how two spel
Take a look and see for yourself! Yeah, I know. I couldn’t draw for jack but man… the memories of those fun and simple times. Running in those arcade halls with my old gaming crew, going from fighting game to fighting game. It was akin to a buffet lineup. A grand time those days were, indeed.
SETTING THE STAGE
Oh we’ll get to the Genesis version a little later…You really gotta use some mouthwash, Mikey
Of the many things I love about this game the one I adore the most might be the stages. Just look at this one f’rinstance. First off, the idea of a duel to the death on a rooftop is appealing, but then you add in massive billboards and a pretty backdrop of some hotels and business buildings, including a nifty flashing neon Konami sign all set to an atmospheric night time hue, and what you have is a winner. Most of the stages in this game are chock full with detail, color (admittedly at times almost TOO much color), and oh yeah, cameos. You’ll see tons of familiar faces from the TMNT universe scattered throughout, from foot soldiers to Neutrinos to Rocksteady and Bebop (though they should have been playable fighters but I digress). You’ll battle it out everywhere, from shady back alleys to ancient ruins, sunken ships, raucous rock concerts, roaring trains and cafés filled with jukeboxes, neon signs and bloodthirsty spectators. The stages captured my imagination 20+ years ago, and to this day, in my book, they’re still some of the best backgrounds I’ve ever seen in a 16-bit fighter.
<3 how they show the big set pieces in the little shots
What’s a fighting game without some sort of stage select screen? I’ve always liked the one here… with the Statue of Liberty front and center, and the little light that searches for the next stage. The sound effects here, as can be expected, are top-notch and firmly embedded in my mind more than 20 years later.
Man, this brings back so many nostalgic memories
THE FIGHTERS
LEONARDO | 5’8″ | 170 lbs.
The leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo is as straight-edge as they come. Focused and determined, his trusty katana blades often pushes him ahead of the competition. Not surprisingly, he plays like Ryu. Leo’s never been my favorite turtle, but he’s a solid all-around fighter, and an easy choice for beginning players. As expected, his swords provide him solid range. You can slice and dice to your heart’s content… something I always wanted to see in the old cartoon but never did for obvious reasons — but here you can fulfill those long forgotten childhood dreams.
Where’s Jesse Pinkman when you need him?Hustlers, hookers and hoodlums litter this shady looking back alley. In an attempt to shed his choir boy, straight edge image, Leo invites his opposing rivals to meet him way out in this dilapidated part of town in the middle of the day, breaking the age-old ninja code of hiding in the shadows. Leo is ready, at last, to step outta his shell.
Beware slow recovery timeAre-You-Krang!Millenium Wave!Tired of the shadows, Leo takes to the mean streets
RAPHAEL |5’8″ | 170 lbs.
Though Mike was my favorite growing up, Raph is a very close second. It’s hard not to like him. He was part of the team but it always felt like he was one small misstep from snapping [A snapping turtle? -Ed.]. Raph was easily the edgiest turtle of the lot, always exuding this aura of coolness. Maybe it’s because he’s a quasi-rebel and a hard-ass, which deep down there’s a little bit of that in all of us. He didn’t use his sai much in the old cartoon, but makes plenty good use of them here, including a M. Bison torpedo-esque move that can be a pain in the neck to deal with. Just a shame Casey Jones isn’t around as that’s one fight I’d love to see!
Part of me expects Marty McFly to come bumbling in
This was one of my most favorite fighting game backgrounds as a kid. It’s got the classic long counter you’d find at any diner worth half its salt, a jukebox, a colorful neon sign that lights up and what’s up with that strange looking cat in the middle there? He looks like an ape and for pete’s sake sir pull your shirt all the way down, son! Damn. Way to spoil one’s appetite, eh?
Smallest fireball everSai-cho Crusher!Energy Spray!The maverick of the group, Raph’s got some serious balls
DONATELLO |5’8″ | 170 lbs.
Often referred to as the brains of the group, Donatello is usually busy working on his latest inventions. This time however, he’s taking a firm stand to show he can not only hold his own, but that he’s the most skilled fighter of his clan. His bo gives him good coverage and he’s just plain fun to use, especially with his Cranium Crusher that is exclusive only to him. Plus, his Ultimate Attack ranks as one of the most memorable — Donnie [Yen, apparently -Ed.] sends forth a ginormous dragon wave. It was jaw dropping back in ’93, and 20+ years later still puts a huge grin on my face whenever I see it. Donnie reminds us he’s more than just a brainiac.
This must be where Jesse’s RV was dismantled…In a corner tucked far away from town lies a rundown scrapyard where the dirtiest of deeds go down. Classic characters from the cartoon, like the vigilante Casey Jones and mad scientist Baxter Stockman, make cameos here in a definite tip of the cap. When Donnie isn’t busy scouring the scrapheap for random parts to tinker with, he’s busy kicking some ass.
DANCING DONNIE?!Dragon Wave!Summon the power of a dragon!
MICHELANGELO |5’8″ | 170 lbs.
Easily my favorite Ninja Turtle growing up, every kid I knew identified themselves with Mikey at one point or another — the classic fun-loving, pizza-craving party animal of the troupe. Mikey never really used his nunchucks in the old ’80s cartoon, so it’s a fan’s dream come true to see him swinging them here like no tomorrow. He plays like a tantalizing mix of Ryu and Blanka, with a cool arcing rolling attack and a deadly rising uppercut. Mikey’s also got the best stage in the entire game. To cap it off, his Ultimate Attack is a swift and sick 10-hit barrage known as the Dance of Fury.
Gotta love the blatant shameless advertising
Hands down my favorite background of the game; hell, I’d put this up against any other fighting game stage on the SNES. The flashing Konami sign, the billboards on each side, the atmospheric city life with the bright lights — it’s a crime not to like this stage. I bet Mikey goes here after picking up a pizza and watches over the city as he munches away to his little heart’s content. Bless the lad, really.
If Blanka had a fireball…“RISING THUNDER!”
Dance of Fury!
ARMAGGON | 8’0″ | 400 lbs.
This guy had to be every kid’s dream come true back in the day. At least he was for me. Who didn’t drool at the thought of being a mutant shark? At the time I thought he was a brand new character constructed just for the game, but he actually comes from the comic book universe of Ninja Turtles fame, like quite a few of the other characters found in this game. While I was initially disappointed in the lack of familiar faces from the cartoon, I always liked Armaggon. Everything from his look to the giant octopus sitting in the middle of his stage… he’s JAWESOME[You’ve jumped the shark -Ed.].
The eyes track your every movement. A bit unsettling
This stage creeped me out when I was a kid. If I were really fighting, I’d find it impossible to focus on my opponent with that grotesque abomination stalking my every move. Its eyes literally track you wherever you go. Talk about unnerving. But it’s also frigging awesome.
I love his alternative colorFin Slicer has great rangeTsunami!Where are the Street Sharks when ya need ‘em?!
ASKA | 5’2″ | 110 lbs.
Okay, so I have a small confession to make. When I was growing up, female fighters were never really my cup of tea. I always wanted to pick either the Ryu clone, the “cool” Guile rip-off, or the freaks (stretch fighters, monsters and other assorted weirdos). Female fighters, bless their hearts, simply never moved my meter. Back then the only one I used to any degree was Janne from the World Heroes series. Well, here’s another rare like. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but Aska’s always been cool in my book.
Rumors you could use the frog. Ah, pre-internet days
In 1993 there was a very popular SNK fighter by the name of Samurai Shodown. This backdrop always made me think of that game. Noh is a classic Japanese drama dance show that surged sometime in the 14th or 15th century. The mutant frog which resides in the middle of the stage always intrigued me. I remember rumors circulating within my own gaming crew that the giant frog was a secret character you could use. Of course, it was just a BS rumor my friends and I formed — it was a sign of the times. The good old days…
Builds your meter fastLove that trailing butterfly effectTornado Blast!Aska is based off Mitsu from 1993’s TMNT III film
CHROME DOME | 5’10” | 200 lbs.
Considering how most of the roster consists of antagonists NOT from the cartoon universe, Chrome Dome was a very welcomed addition. I love how Konami gave the token “stretch fighter” the game’s biggest damage-inducing throw (outside of the bosses). It’s very cool as it’s just something you didn’t see in fighting games at all during that era. So in some ways, Chrome Dome felt like a slight mix of Dhalsim meets Zangief. He could stretch for defense and offense, and if you get too close to him, he could grab ya and take you on one SHOCKING ride.
We get a Neutrinos cameo, but sadly no Traag
Who knew tin head was so artsy fartsy? With a penchant for the fine arts, the culturally cognizant Chrome Dome gets his kicks off on piledrivering his competition at the local art museum. Familiar cartoon faces make a spot cameo in the form of Mousers and the Neutrinos. ‘GROOVY!’ indeed.
Stretch fighter? CheckShades of Terry BogardPiledriver ends in electrocutionChrome Bomb!Chrome Dome: so badass and underrated
CYBER SHREDDER |6’6″ | 280 lbs.
This ain’t your regular Shredder you remember bumbling around in the ’80s cartoon. No, far from that. Indeed, this is THE SHREDDER ON STEROIDS. This is Cyber Shredder, a walking weapon of destruction. Part of me wishes we got the ’80s version instead, for nostalgic reasons. I was saddened to hear about the passing of one, James Avery, in December 2013. Better known as Uncle Phil, Avery was the voice of the late ’80s and early ’90s Shredder. When I found that fun little factoid in the late ’90s or so, I never looked at Shredder the same way ever again.
Don’t get caught in the ‘Wrong Side of Town’
On the outskirts of town, there exists an iniquitous construction site that is rumored to have been taken over by the evil and nefarious Cyber Shredder and his Foot Clan. There are even whispers on the street, though apocryphal, that the police themselves dare not step foot onto the Cyber Shredder’s hot new territory. It’s considered a lost part of town and most have turned a blind eye in exchange for their own personal safety. All hail the mighty Foot!
Reflect opponent projectilesIt slices, it dices!Looks awkward, but is effectiveLightning Crusher!“TONIGHT, I DINE ON TURTLE SOUP!”
WAR | 8’0″ | 350 lbs.
A savage bipedal triceratops? Sign me up! Those were my sentiments when I first laid eyes on him 20+ years ago. Originating from the comics, he was one of the Four Horsemen — along with Death, Famine and Pestilence. A real shame then, considering the superb look and cool name. He goes down in fighting game history as one of the most disappointing fighters ever. He’s limited to two special moves that aren’t too hot. Thankfully, his stage stands out and his Ultimate Attack is a rip-roaring attention grabber. War hurls himself around the screen like a pinball of destruction, but even that can’t save him from feeling like a largely wasted roster space.
If only you could use Bebop and Rocksteady
It’s a beautiful sunny day, with only a couple clouds hanging overhead. Your breath is taken away as you look around at all the beautiful sights, until you catch sight of your old bumbling rivals, Bebop and Rocksteady. You chuckle to yourself as a savage roar erupts nearby. A giant 8 foot tall armored monster leaps within 10 feet of ya, the sunshine shimmering off his razor sharp talons. And just as quick, your smile fades.
If Balrog were a dinosaur…War Dynamic!Someone needs a mani and pedi…
WINGNUT | 6’0″ | 300 lbs.
I remember thinking to myself, “Why this bastard over a classic fan fave like Bebop or Rocksteady?” Wingnut appeared briefly in the ’80s cartoon series and had a much bigger role in the comics. He’s the very definition of an “unorthodox fighter.” It will take a highly skilled player to get the most out of his unusual offense. Possessing a somewhat awkward moveset, and considering how his Ultimate Attack can be a total flop, to his credit he’s got one of the cooleststages in fighting game history. What’s better than a rock concert while watching two combatants knock the stuffing out of each other?
Music and violence — what more could ya want?
Wingnut, the master of soundwaves, is hardly a stranger to loud noise. Whereas it distracts and even causes damage to the ear drums of most mere mortals, Wingnut relishes on such raucous and frenzied environments. From the HEAVY METALheadbanging to the strobe lights to the t-rex twins, the ringing Thunder Dome produces a mad rocking atmosphere like no other. The audience is more than happy to pay top dollar for this BARBARIC MASHUP.
Even his fireball is weird as hellMad Spectre!Best seat in the house
THE BOSSES
Whenever you see April, bad stuff happensI much prefer his classic cartoon look, thoughNow that’s the Rat King I know and love!
In the comics, Rat King had a telepathic super power where he could communicate with rats. In the ’80s cartoon series he had to use a flute. He’s always been a cool cat [rat? -Ed.] in my book, and I wish we saw more familiar faces from the cartoon than the comics. Although I realize by late 1993 the cartoon series was not nearly as popular as it once was. Still, how lovely would it have been to see the likes of Krang, Rocksteady, Bebop and Casey Jones?
At least the Japanese version made it more interesting
Studio 6 is where they film this game show format for Tournament Fighters. High school cheerleaders adorn the stage. A badly missed opportunity at a sewer-based stage. If you’re not going to give it to one of the turtles, then at least give it to the Rat King (AKA the King of the Sewers). This game has plenty of cool stages, but this one was rather dull. Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.
Shock Sphere!Looking more like the Mummy King…“Damn GURL, do you EVER have good news??”Karai is one annoying final bossVernon Fenwick cameo woot woot
A duel to the death atop a screaming metro train. Mr. Vernon Fenwick from Channel 6 News captures the chaos for all to see from the comfort of their home. Perhaps Konami knew all along just how bloodthirsty humanity is…
Dark Thunder!I would have gone with Krang, myself
THE END?
Is… that… it?
The endings are rather disappointing. Each character ending has only two shots with hit-or-miss artwork and a few text messages. For as difficult as the computer opponents are, this is a major letdown.
BONUSES
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it [I see what you did there -Ed.]Like most fighting games of the early-mid ’90s, there lies breakable furniture in some of the stages. It’s a damn classic staple of the genre. The ones here are, admittedly, a bit ‘weak’ [I see what you did there -Ed.], but hey, they’re there.
It speaks to a 10 year old boy’s desire to DESTROY
Speaking of um, bonuses, check out probably my all-time most favorite fighting game bonus stage around. Destroying bank safes one after another? Sign me up!
The sound of coins falling sounds so realistic
I love the idea that someone was dropping these bad boys from the sky like a madman. They kept raining down, and you had to bust ‘em up until there were none left. It was extremely satisfying and I much rather play this bonus stage than any other.
Konami made you believe it was the real deal
Besides the concept and killer sound effects, I love this bonus round because unlike 90 to 95% of bonus rounds you come across in the genre, this one is actually quite challenging. You need a plan of attack rather than just mindlessly pound away. There were enough safes that ya barely had enough time, and it was SO cool how they can topple over (and knock you out, too).
Leave it to Mikey to be the voice of reason, eh?My bad, yo. That’s on me
ONLY IN JAPAN
Only in Japan: such words have never been said before…
There a few notable differences between the American and Japanese versions of the SNES game. In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Warriors (to give it its Japanese namesake), among the differences include Rat King’s extra stage bit, where combatants can be knocked through the wall revealing the control room of Studio 6.
The other difference is the censorship of Aska. In the Japanese version you can see her buttocks a bit, but they covered it up in the North American version.
GE*NES*IS VERSIONS
Pros: It’s Casey! Cons: Er, yeah…
In what very well might be the first and ONLY time in gaming history, Konami released simultaneously three games of the same name on the NES, Genesis and SNES, but with very different game engines and rosters. While cool of them to diversify like that, it was clear SNES owners received the superior version. The Genesis version is broken and by comparison, crap. By late ’93, the Genesis was starting to look like the grandfather on the block while the SNES was just hitting its prime. With Tournament Fighters released across all three platforms, it was clear (at least in my mind) who the king of the jungle was. I was happy to own all three systems, but Super Nintendo was clearly KING in my household.
Props for even bothering to try…
The 8-bit NES game is not even worth talking about from a gameplay standpoint; although, it does make for a fun water cooler topic as far as near final NES releases go. The NES was gasping its last breath by late ’93, so any title released was newsworthy, indeed. This was just a painful reminder though that my dear old friend couldn’t keep up with a changing of the guard. I love the 8-bit Nintendo and Sega Genesis, but I’m just calling it like I see it. When Tournament Fighters came out on all three systems, it was like a subtle declaration in my own heart which of those three systems reigned supreme.
CRACK THE CODE
The game was chock full of codesBut one code stood above the rest…
And on a cold night in January ’94, I cracked the codeWell, it ends as legendary as it began…
I sat there completely dumbfounded, my jaw on the ground. I had to do a double take. Right there in my friend’s room, I could play as the Rat King or Karai. I ran downstairs to tell my friends about it. I still remember the skeptical looks on their faces, and how they kept saying, “Dude, this better not be a hoax. I’m about to eat some KFC!” They followed behind me as I took the stairs 2 steps at a time. I stood at the doorway and stretched my hand out as to welcome them in. One by one they filed in and I stood there still in the doorway smiling when I heard the collective HOLY SHIT! cries. I can’t tell you how red my hand got that night because of all the high fives. They asked what the code was, and sadly, I had no clue. We left the game on the entire night just so we could play as the bosses. When we finally turned it off at 12 something in the morning, we turned it right back on so I could try the code again. No such luck. Whatever I punched in randomly before was now gone.
The very next month I saw this printed in EGM
The infamous boss code. Right there in all its glory. Looking back, it’s a fond memory for me. The thrill of cracking the code, the joys of sharing it with my friends, creating a lifetime memory. Back then, you couldn’t just log into damn GameFAQs for your hints and secrets, oh no. It was either through tip sections in gaming magazines like such, or plain discovering ‘em yourself through dumb luck. Discovering the boss code made me the man of my group for that one epic night, anyhow, and I recall with deep fondness just the sights, sounds and smells of that great night. The KFC aroma in the air, the thundering footsteps up the stairs, the tingling rush that I felt sweeping every fiber of my being when I saw Rat King and Karai on the select screen, the cries of sheer joy from my friends, as though we just collectively won the Mega Million Lottery, and the stinging high fives. Man, we must have played like 3 straight hours that night. Boss code, how I miss you and your simplicity. Boy, were things different back then. I’m very grateful I was lucky enough to have grown up when I did. When gaming with friends was all that mattered.
20+ years ago this all went down, eh? I feel old
Look, she’s taunting me! GRR! So, I discovered the most wanted code and could have won a free game from EGM, but I couldn’t remember the code anyway, so Konami giving it to EGM first was a moot point as it would turn out. I suppose that softened the blow for not being able to remember the damn code!
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Konami with another SNES classic. LET’S KICK SHELL!
Tournament Fighters was received well by the press. It garnered high scores across the board and I can’t recall anyone ever having a bad thing to say of it. From the critics to regular gamers like you and me, the game was beloved and extolled by many. It is also widely regarded as one of the better fighting games on the SNES. EGM gave it scores of 8, 9, 9 and 9. GameFan rated it 85, 92, 96 and 96%. Super Play Magazine scored it 90%. It was not only one of the BEST fighting games of 1993, but one of the best games, period, that year. One play and it’s easy to see why the game had so many diehard supporters. It succeeds where most clones fail miserably: it’s fun, fast, fluid and to boot it’s the TEENAGE MUTANT f*ckin’ NINJA TURTLES!
Tournament Fighters joins the ranks of great SNES titlesIt built up a massive tidal wave of supporters…
CLOSING THOUGHTS
20+ years later, this game still holds up well
Tournament Fighters is a fantastic fighting game. In fact I think it’s the best SNES-exclusive fighter. In an age where crap clones were slapped together and shipped out the door like no tomorrow, Tournament Fighters was groomed for success. It’s packed full of quality from top to bottom. Those graphics are bright, bold and classic mid ’90s SNES magic. The sound and music both hit the mark, with tunes you can rock out to. The fighting game engine just feels right. Jumps aren’t floaty. Physics don’t feel off. It’s extremely well polished. What can I say, I loved it 20+ years ago, and even still to this day I’ll play it for a round or two, or 50. It’s not better than Street Fighter II Turbo but came DAMN closer than most.
She asked for my snake, but I gave her the dragon
But best of all, how about the wild Ultimate Attacks, eh? Whether you prefer to call them desperation moves, super specials or death moves, there’s no denying they are a game changer. They added an extra layer to the battles, encouraging the player to be offensive-minded. For balance, the weaker your health, the easier it is to fill up your extra bar. Likewise, the stronger you are, the harder it is to fill it up. Tournament Fighters did a lot of cool things, but for me the Ultimate Attacks come to mind first. Whether it was a giant ass mythical dragon or a deadly tidal wave screaming across the TV, it was jaw dropping and all part of the fun. Like fine wine, the game has aged tremendously well. Konami delivered again, crafting a finely tuned fighting game that exudes meticulous care and is bursting with quality from every seam. Sure, a bigger roster including the likes of Rocksteady, Bebop, Krang, and Casey Jones would have been perfect, but the list of negatives are short and brief.
Konami sure did hit a home run here, as they often did back in the ’90s. There aren’t many home-grown fighting games on the SNES, and the only ones giving Tournament Fighters any run for its money are: Ranma ½: Chōgi Rambu Hen and Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: Endless Duel. Some other SNES-grown fighters include Tuff Enuff, WeaponLord and Double Dragon V. Of all of them, I’d happily play this game the most. To me it’s a LEGIT Super Nintendo classic. It’s a quality fighting game with an engine that stands the test of time well. I still break it out on occasion to pass the odd evening or two. I will forever harbor fond memories of this game, from Kerwin’s unbelievable stamp of approval to my parents buying it after Christmas to the night I randomly unlocked Rat King and Karai… DAMN, the nostalgic goodness just goes on and on. Tournament Fighters, I salute thee!
Rest In Peace, James Avery. 11.27.45-12.31.13Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time coming…
One of the thrills of growing up during the mid ’90s were all the awesome arcade games just waiting for you to plop a quarter in. And the longing hopes and dreams that one day soon the spirit and essence of your favorite arcade title would receive a respectable enough translation on your 16-bit console of choice. They never captured the arcade original perfectly, but the best ports brought home a piece of the arcade. Sometimes you didn’t have to wait very long. Other times, it would be years later. Such was the case for NBA Give ‘N Go. Was it worth the wait? Strap on your squeaky sneakers and let’s take a look.
BEFORE THERE WAS NBA JAM…
THE arcade game for basketball junkies
… there was Run ‘N Gun. It was loud, in your face and full of that early-mid ’90s arcade wonder. Walk into any arcade hall more than 20 years ago and you would be bombarded by dazzling lights and ear-crunching sound effects all vying for your quarter’s attention. Right in the thick of the Golden Fighting Game era, Konami released a basketball game that emphasized action and fun over strategy and simulation (although it certainly had some of that too, especially when compared to NBA Jam). My brother, friends and I immediately fell in love with it. And we were counting down the days until it would be ported over for either the Sega Genesis or the Super Nintendo. Our wish came true but unfortunately, no sooner than two plus years later.
Nothing like throwing down a monster jamThe rich bold colors captivated me
My brother was a huge basketball nut back in 1993. Me? The sport was OK. I liked it reasonably well enough, but I didn’t go out of my way to catch the games when it came across the ol’ telly. To be honest, at 10 years old I was far more interested in playing video games or watching WWF wrestling. But my perspective on the game of basketball all took a turn on one particularly fateful day…
MEMORIAL DAY MIRACLE
The day I became a basketball lover for life
Monday, May 29, 1995 is a day I’ll never forget. Hard to believe the other day marked 21 years since that fateful day…
It was Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals which pitted the young uprising Orlando Magic vs. the Indiana Pacers. I was at the local mall walking past Radio Shack when I saw they had the game playing on 10 TV screens. There were 3 people standing there, watching in angst and talking in-between plays. I joined, making it a crowd of 4. The game was in the final 3 minutes, and as the drama unfolded, the crowd steadily grew from 4 to 8 to 12. Even the employees stopped what they were doing and joined our huddle.
These are the moments you live for as a sports fan (as I would come to find out), and to boot it was one of the greatest finishes EVER in NBA playoff history.
With under 15 seconds to go, this improbable sequence took place:
Brian Shaw’s 3 pointer gave the Magic the 1 point lead
Reggie Miller answered with one of his own, putting the Pacers back up by 2 causing the Indiana crowd to erupt in a frenzy
Mere seconds later the player many then believed would carry Jordan’s torch as well as the NBA into the new millennium, Anfernee “Penny” Hardaway, nailed a dramatic heart breaking 3, giving the Magic a 1 point lead with 1.3 seconds to go. It left the sold out capacity crowd in stunned silence
Penny in his prime was something special
As the game went to its final commercial break there was a deafening buzz within Radio Shack’s small confines. I was right in the middle of it and the raw adrenaline was indescribable. I felt like I was at the game myself!
To this day I still can hear that classic NBA on NBC theme, being played on no less than TEN television monitors, in full blast stereo reverberating throughout the store and the entire mall itself. It’s one of those vivid childhood memories that haunts me to the core… even 21 years later.
Suddenly we were no longer just a bunch of strangers, no. This playoff basketball game magically banded us together. We were basketball fans, enjoying and living up the moment.
I saw basketball in a new light — the likes of which I hadn’t seen before. There was strategy, there were tactics. Beyond that, I started appreciating the concept of teamwork and five different people of varying size and skills working as one well oiled machine.
That day I developed a much deeper appreciation for basketball. It’s the moment I became a fan for life.
“Fakes, shoots and — HE HITS HE HITS!!”
Down 1 with 1.3 seconds left, the ball made its way to the dunking Dutchman, Rik Smits. He faked, shot and the ball ripped nothing but net as the buzzer sounded off. The place became unglued and the roof blew off. Radio Shack’s walls were shaking as we all screamed, jumping up and down in pure disbelief at what we had just witnessed on the 10 TV monitors that stood before us.
I was only 11 years old while everyone else around me in the store was probably 20 or older. Those 15 minutes or so catching the 4th quarter and cheering and booing madly at the TV screen with a bunch of folks I never met before… PRICELESS. I remember on the car ride home in the backseat I kept replaying the events in my head… thinking to myself that that was the coolest thing that ever happened to me so far in my young life. Ha! But the moment was nothing short of magic.
I think back 21 years ago… part of me can’t believe it, you know. It was the best NBA Playoff game I ever saw, and to this day, I have not seen a game better or more dramatic than the one that occurred on May 29, 1995 — the Memorial Day Miracle.
Memorial Day Miracle 2.0… nothing like witnessing heroics and an arena erupting
Yesterday brought back some goosebumps and fond memories for me… as the Golden State Warriors battled the Oklahoma City Thunder in a decisive Game 7… also on Memorial Day. 21 years later ALMOST TO THE DAY… it was a miracle that the Warriors were able to storm back and push the series to a 7th and final game, as they were down 3-1 but not only down — they looked completely out of it. Somehow, they dug deep and Steph Curry and Klay Thompson knocked down some ridiculous 3 point shots. It was a nice dramatic game but the Warriors eventually won 96-88. It’s hard to compare it to the Pacers-Magic game 21 years ago, but it certainly was special in its own unique way.
I just wish they would bring back that classic NBA theme regardless of which station the games emanate from. There’s nothing comparable to John Tesh’s amazing Roundball Rock score!
HOOP IT UP
Why not try the Konami code here?Up, up, down, down…Gonna replicate the Memorial Day Miracle from ’95
All NBA teams and players are here, including that year’s All-Star selections. The Shooting Stars and Supreme Team are five player teams that consist of the best five players from each conference. Think of it as a Dream Team. You can also edit it to form your own fantasy team. More on this later.
Find out who’s hot and who’s not tonight
Give ‘N Go has an interesting quirk where players are rated per stars. Three max. This changes from game to game randomly. It basically indicates how the player is “feeling” that game. The more stars, the higher chance he’ll have at making baskets. It’s a unique feature that factors in the “human” element of players’ feelings on a game by game basis. You can still have a good game with a guy who has zero stars, but it’s tougher. Hey, maybe his wife cheated on him that day, who knows! Like a box of chocolate, ya never know what you might get.
This is an example of a time you want to see stars
I can’t think of any other 16-bit basketball game that gauges how a player is feeling on a game-to-game basis. It’s fun firing the game up and hoping to see many stars across the board. As it was randomly generated game by game, it added an extra element of spice.
Sometimes it would spur me to sit a starter for a bench player — say if the starter had zero stars and the capable bench player was feeling particularly spry with three stars. Good stuff.
C’mon, you know it’s coming. Oh yeah…MODE 7 MADNESS!!! *Monster Truck Voice Guy*A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…The game nails it in the presentation department
Miller, cocked, ready to shoot! That came out wrongYou gotta love how big the players are. There’s a nice ‘thickness’ to them [That’s what she said -Ed.] and they really do look like the actual stars themselves. Can you tell that’s Reggie Miller there? Quite easily, I’d wager. Look at the defensive stance of that bloke over there — very realistic eh? One hand guards the ball, the other guards the passing lane. Hey, I aced Beginning and Intermediate Basketball in my day, ya know? Picked up a few tricks along the way
If it’s Reggie, it’s good. It’s Miller Time
“JUMP, YA BUM!”
Miller soars up with the greatest of ease as Nick Anderson is caught with sand in his shoes. Great visuals, eh? Now this is basketball! Player mechanics are accurately mimicked.
Nothing like the dramatic bounce of the ball…Gotta love those lucky bounces :)Run back to your invisible bench and coach“Pacers have to do a better job converting those dunks.”
“And after one it’s a real tight ball game we have here today, Bob.”
“Indeed. If this is a sign of things to come, fans I hope you’re all strapped in — it’s gonna be one heck of a ride!”
“What a great first quarter of action, Bob.”
“Can’t ask for much more on this beautiful Memorial Day, 1995!”
“It just may come down to a buzzer beating last second shot for one of these teams…”
Will the “Dunking Dutchman” live up to his name?Perhaps next time, thenNever know what they’re thinking during the game“THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!”
Pacers really surged ahead in that 2nd quarterSpeed depends on the player’s free throw %Damn, times are tougher than I thought!Not quite the Memorial Day Miracle barn burner, eh?
Life is like a hurricane
HERE IN… Duckburg
Race cars, lasers, airplanes
It’s a… DUCK BLUR
Might solve a mystery…
Or rewrite history!
DUCK TALES!
Ahem, sorry… [You’re fired -Ed.]
Love seeing the stats at the end. Sorry no ShaqEveryone contributed, with Miller leading the charge
NEAT STUFF
Nothing humbles the opposition quite like a big time block. I love how that one Magic player is running back up the other side of the court… thinking his teammate has got the basket. Uh, I’ve got something to say about that…
This must be awkward…“BALLS!”
Thankfully, NBA Give ‘N Go gives players an option. When going for a slam dunk, you can press the shoot button to change the dunk animation into a layup midway through!
Very handy indeed
It keeps the opposition honest, and because the game is so block friendly, this scoring alternative is a God send, especially in two player games with a buddy.
Pump fake…Hustle around…Cock the ball back…… and destroy that rim!Few things are as satisfyingRodman is liable to shoot from right there, the nut!
As I said earlier, players look like the real players. Here you see Dennis Rodman in all his crazy madness. Unfortunately though, the game does not account for the size differences. John Stockton is just as tall as Patrick Ewing. Shame about that, but oh well, what can ya do? [Play NBA Jam -Ed.]
Gotta love the Garden
One of the really neat things about Give ‘N Go is seeing all the different NBA arenas. Though they’re not as unique as, say, baseball parks, some of them definitely have their own sense of history and atmosphere. It’s one thing this game definitely has over any other SNES basketball title, such as the NBA Live and NBA Jam series.
This is my go-to court to play on
But my absolute favorite is easily the All-Star court. With its brightly colored court, it just makes it fun to shoot at all odd corners of the floor. I don’t know what it is about that, but on this court, I just love pulling up for 17, 18 foot jump shots. Something about shooting on that solid purple floor is mighty addicting…
The two Dream Teams add some extra replay valueHave at it and have it your way
SOME NOT SO NEAT STUFF
North American owners got gypped!
Don’t know why but the Japanese version of this game is battery-backed, while the US version received a super crappy password feature to save the regular season games. Talk about absurd — look how long the password is!
“Um… I just got out of the pool. No really!”
HUH! Yep, sometimes players will shrink for a very brief period of time. It doesn’t affect gameplay — at least so far that I’ve been able to witness — it’s more of a sight gag if anything. I guess it’s just the SNES straining from the odd time to time. Give ‘N Go is no Killer Instinct or DOOM in terms of pushing the system to the limits, but it also wasn’t Super Tennis.
Look at the Pacers’ 3 point percentage — 3 for 17?!
It’s easy hitting 3 point shots in the 1st quarter. After that, oddly enough, it becomes hard even if you’re a 3 point specialist like Reggie Miller. Not saying it’s impossible to nail 3 point shots past the 1st quarter — it just becomes much harder. Why this is, I have no idea. But it does put a bit of a damper on the game. See, the Magic hit 1 out of 2, but I kept chucking threes into the 2nd half of the game, and I kept missing them (even with a dead-eye shooter such as Reggie). Not cool.
MORE NEGATIVES
- Rim physics aren’t realistic (then again, it IS an arcade game)
- Whoever is running down court has a disadvantage. The rim on the bottom half of the court isn’t visible at all times
- Stat tracking leaves something to be desired. No assists — what?
- Guards are as tall as centers. Those who can’t dunk in real life can dunk in the game
- Alley oop system can be abused
- Gameplay is not as quick as NBA Jam or NBA Live. It may feel too slow for some folks. Personally, I think it still plays fine in spite of the less-than-stellar speed
MORE POSITIVES
+ I gotta give PROPS to the announcer. He’s pretty wacky. “REBOUND AND JAAAM!” (adds to the early-mid ’90s arcade feel of the game)
+ Speaking of the sound, unlike many basketball games, Give ‘N Go actually incorporates music during the game. I found the upbeat melodies to be pleasant
+ Visually, the game’s quite ace. Players are huge and easy to make out. Amazing little details like Dennis Rodman’s wild hair and Horace Grant’s goggles give the game a sense of “life” and personality. Plus the NBA courts are nicely detailed
+ Another praise for the 0 to 3 star rank system. On any given night, any player can be a capable threat. Some nights your star players will feel like superstars. But on other nights however, perhaps your 10th man on the bench is feeling particularly spry. It’s all randomly generated and you never know who’s feeling hot (or not) on any given night. Cool feature if you ask me! It’s nice too that 0 star players can STILL have a big game for you… 3 stars only mean he’s THAT much more capable
+ Rarely slows down. Impressive considering the size of ten big players running around
+ Can edit your own Dream Team of stars and scrubs however you like
+ Menus and game presentation is absolutely top-notch and crisp
+ It’s RUN ‘N GUN on your SNES! Or at least, halfway close enough. 4-player games rock
+ GameFan gave it scores of 84and 86%. Super Play rated it 85%
CLOSING THOUGHTS
There’s a nice simple charm to this game :)
I still remember fondly the day I rented this game in late ’95 for me and my brother. Back in the day he always had me rent the games he wanted, but for a change, we both couldn’t wait to play this. We loved it. It was a long wait, but Give ‘N Go did not disappoint. It brought home the large colorful graphics, the squeaky sneakers, massive slam dunks, monster block shots and thrilling games that came right down to the final second. It’s not without flaws though: the game plays slower than other SNES basketball titles. It’s hard to make 3 point shots after the 1st quarter, the alley oop feature can be abused (though easily fixed by agreeing to have a “1 per quarter” limit or so), player sizes are all the same so Stockton can dunk (yeah right!) just as well as Shawn Kemp, and so on. But you know what, this was never the perfect basketball game to begin with. What it was — and as I found out recently — what it *IS*… is a damn fun basketball game with an impeccable arcade-like feel. In many ways I liken it to Super Baseball 2020. Taken for what it was intended to be, it does its job well. I have as much fun with NBA Give ‘N Go today as I did over 20 years ago. Anytime I can say that, that game’s all right by me. It’s not the first basketball title I pull off my shelf to play, but it’s a nice alternative to the NBA Lives and Jams of the world, for sure. Give ‘N Go does an admirable job of bringing the zany arcade experience home.
Can’t wait for Warriors-Cavs 2.0!
Hard for me to believe it’s been 21 years now since that epic Memorial Day playoff game between the Pacers and Magic. It was the game that cemented me as a basketball fan for life. What a mad finish! And what a shot by Rik Smits! From the classic NBA on NBC tune to the countless strangers huddled around that Radio Shack monitor cheering and booing, it was one hell of a way to kick off the final summer of my preadolescence. Some images, some sounds and some smells stay with you for a lifetime. May 29, 1995 was such a day for me
NBA Give ‘N Go is a fond reminder of the good old days. When times and things were a bit simpler. When you could walk into an arcade hall not five blocks from your house, smell the piping hot cheese and have your ears tickled by the innocent laughter of children. Not only is it a nostalgic blast, I find Give ‘N Go still holds up to this day. It plays on the slower side but it’s also presented in a light that makes it stand out compared to any other SNES basketball game. Better late than never? Yes. Or perhaps I should say, “YES SIR!” [Pack yer things -Ed.]
Yesterday saw the release of the latest X-Men movie: X-Men Apocalypse. As I sat in my seat waiting for the lights to dim and the first trailer to play, I couldn’t help but think back 20+ years to the time Capcom released X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse on the SNES. All in all, I enjoyed the movie but felt it was a bit disappointing. Is that foreshadowing for the game itself? But as always, I’m getting ahead of myself a bit. Let’s rewind the clock back some shall we…
THE MARVEL SUBCULTURE OF THE ’90S
A staple of many childhoods in 1991
If you were a child of the early ’90s, chances were you somehow got mixed up in the superhero subculture. It was simply a sign of the times. From trading cards to cartoons to toys to video games, superheroes and super villains dominated the scene. My brother, our friends and I used to hang out at this card shop, Triple Play. It was right next to the local library and a mom and pop rental shop. What a great time to be a kid! We spent hours of our childhood down at the card shop, buying the newest Marvel ’91 series and trading them. When we weren’t trading or buying them, we played the Street Fighter II arcade cab right in the store. It was just an amazing time to be a young kid.
Who didn’t love the bar stats on the back?
My favorite thing about the Marvel ’91 cards? Hands down the enticing stats on the back of the cards. This is where my obsession with numbers and ratings probably first developed, and a large reason (EGM is another factor) as to why I personally like to rate video games. To me numbers have always been a fun snapshot at things. I remember Fin Fang Foom’s stats were off the charts. He had something nuts like three 7’s. Fun times.
Uncanny how bad this game is
As a kid I remember thinking to myself how badly I wanted to play a really good superhero game, particularly at home. Uncanny X-Men (NES) definitely failed to deliver on that front.
NES Wolverine? Better than Uncanny X-Men, but nope.
NES Silver Surfer? Heavens no.
NES Captain America and the Avengers? Try again.
Remember wasting hours and quarters with this game?
My wish for a good superhero game came true in 1991 with the arcade quarter muncher, Captain America and the Avengers. I was counting down until the inevitable Super Nintendo port. Unfortunately…
We got this steaming pile of turd
When the port arrived, I nearly cried tears of sadness. It was such a watered down attempt and easily one of the most disappointing arcade ports to ever hit the SNES. My dreams were crushed. But a year later…
Now that’s more like it!
The X-Men arcade game is one of the most iconic multiplayer arcade games ever created. When it hit the scene in 1992, it took everyone by storm, pardon the pun. I was eagerly anticipating the SNES translation but alas, it was never meant to be.
The cab was a monster. Unlike anything ever seen
Just look at that hulking beast. Six player cabinet. It was truly worthy of the superhero name. My friends and I loved dumping quarters into this machine and we pumped hours into this one like none other. I always used Colossus. That was my guy!
One of the coolest cartoon series ever
That same year, Halloween 1992 to be precise, the X-Men cartoon hit television screens the world over. And our Saturday mornings would never be the same again. There was only one thing missing: a proper Super Nintendo representation of the X-Men. Finally, two years later, X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse was announced for the SNES. Better yet, it was developed by ever reliable firm, Capcom. Surely the Big C wouldn’t let us superhero fanboys down, would they? Surely console owners would finally get a good superhero game? Well, for the most part anyway. Let us delve in, then…
MUTANTS ON A MISSION
Right off the bat you have the choice of using one of five different members from the X-Men force. Each mutant has his or her own unique mission to complete. Each level is designed with that mutant’s abilities well in mind. After you finish off the first five stages, the game allows you to select any mutant to use on the final handful of levels. I like that each mutant has his or her own unique mission to begin with, and I like how Capcom allows you to select them in whichever order you please. It’s very Mega Man-esque. Let’s begin with my favorite of the group…
“Here’s Johnny!”
Wolverine always knew how to make one hell of a dramatic entrance, didn’t he? Things start off hot as the savage mutant comes bursting out of a elevated window. Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Ryu and Ken would be proud
Each character has a few special moves that are executed via Street Fighter II-esque motions. As expected from a firm such as Capcom, the controls are tight and responsive. Pulling off special moves left and right is as easy as 1-2-3. I particularly love Wolverine’s Dragon Punch. I always thought to myself as a kid that it blows the real Dragon Punch out of the water on account of the flesh-cutting adamantium claws. Sorry Ken, not even your Burning Dragon Punch stands a chance.
Love the massive sprites
This is a recurring mid-boss that you’ll encounter throughout the game. I was intimidated as hell when I first saw it as a kid, but it’s more bark than bite.
“Come here, bub!”Rock climbing expertise
Wolverine can interact with his environment in the way of scaling tall walls. It’s not implemented as much as I would have liked, but the few bits you get to do it it’s undoubtedly satisfying.
OUCH, double whammy!
Not only does that enemy get the worst of Wolverine’s claws, but he also got knocked into the razor-sharp robotic fingers for extra damage. Small moments like this delight — it’s a shame then that they’re too few and far between.
“Give me a hand will ya?”NIGHT OF THE SENTINEL!
A giant pissed off Sentinel guards the end of Wolverine’s stage. Goons and cronies will come at you from both sides, so dispatch them quickly. The laser beams create a somewhat spooky look for the Sentinel. A nice, creepy touch.
Cyclops, not surprisingly, is slower to control than Wolverine. He’s also a bigger target which makes avoiding hits a bit more difficult. But he has one thing on Wolverine: long distance attacks. His optic blast is basic, but effective.
Watch the backgroundAnd line yourself up accordingly
Somehow, this never gets old
What goes up…… must come downLet ‘er rip!Shades of M. Bison’s Scissors Kick
Gambit’s long legs allow him to take out the opposition within a very generous radius. The coolest part is seeing two bad guys approaching you, from both sides, and knocking them out in stereo with the Scissors Kick.
Mega Man Gambit ain’t
Even cooler is when you deliver death from below. You just can’t beat it.
What a lovely nightLovely backgroundShoot and slideMake that bastard flinch like hell!Don’t bring a gun to a card fightShades of BlankaWhere have I seen this before…You again, huh?
What makes Beast unique from the others is his ability to hang from ledges. It sort of makes the game feel a bit like Metal Storm, at least, for a few minutes anyhow. An interesting gimmick that isn’t fully fleshed out due to the shortness of this level (in fact, all the levels are criminally short).
What’s worse than a Sentinel? 3“A feat with my feet that could lead to your defeat!”Lovely foreshadowing…“Y’all done f*cked up now…”Nice, Capcom. Nice“Hey bozo, over here!”Move it, Olivia Munn! Er, PsylockeSweet Jesus
Who doesn’t love a good old fashioned screen-filling boss? We all have our own form of video game fetishes. For me it’s definitely towering end-level bosses and…
… seeing them flash red like mad
I know. I need to seek professional help [Please, take all the time off you need… -Ed.]
Passwords are given later on
You also get to use whichever character you want for the game’s remaining stages. Of course, different characters are more effective in certain stages. It’s fun to explore but I just wish the levels were longer.
Here comes the Brood…X-PLOSIVE ACTION! … sorryBrood debut 3 years after AlienAtmospheric level this isSay hello to the matriarch
Shortest level ever [Har har -Ed.]No seriously, it really is. Walk about 20 feet over and then it’s boss time. What the flipping heck, Capcom? Makes you wonder if development on this game was rushed for it to hit store shelves in time for the Christmas season push…
Of all mutants, TUSK!?
Some of the choices boggles the mind, but on the bright size, the Tusk sprite looks pretty damn awesome. Look at how he towers over Wolverine. Heck, you can even see his bulging muscles. Great attention to detail for an otherwise forgettable boss.
Yep, don’t stand underneath that
Speaking of bright sides, at least there are a few fun little gimmicks thrown in here. You can knock Tusk into the lava BUT do watch out for that falling lift!
“Come and get me, bub!”
Just for fun, I like scaling the wall and making the bastard try to reach me. It’s oddly entertaining but then, the little things tend to be that way, don’t they?
Wanted: DASH button
The next level forces you to move swiftly as a lava gives chase. This is where the game sure could have used a dash option. Thankfully each of the characters have some sort of dashing special move you can pull off as a substitute for a lack of a dash button, except for Cyclops (who I definitely don’t recommend you selecting here).
Is it just me or is it HOT?!
Get stuck in front of a pillar though and you’ll have to smash your way through. This can cause for some intense moments to say the least!
I’m sweating bullets over here…“GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY!”Thank God that’s over with…“Oh for f*ck’s sake!”“Move it or lose it, bub!”They never listen…Cutting it way too close!His Tornado Claw never gets oldMeet Apocalypse…… wait, that’s it?
For a big bad boss whose name is featured in the game title itself, the encounter with Apocalypse is a bit underwhelming to say the least. His special moves all sort of look weird and as it turns out, he’s not even the final boss. After defeating him you’re transported back to the Danger Room for more training. It’s a bit jarring… almost like Capcom said, “Oh crap, we need to throw in a little more shit because this game is way too short!”
Enter Omega RedAnd JuggernautMove it, Logan!Exodus can be VERY annoying
After this it’s off to face the final bad guy of the game: Magneto. Good luck.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
EGM’s biggest issue ever, #65, December 1994
I have fond memories of EGM issue number 65. It came right in time for the holiday season of 1994 (what I consider to be an epic year both personally and in terms of gaming) and clocked in at over a massive 400 pages! I always said EGM sold their souls to the devil… for EGM in my humble estimation was never the same again after producing this tree-killing monster of an issue. I remember the joke that this issue was bigger than some small towns’ phone books! And I believe that. It had a badass cover featuring X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse. The critics were not too kind to this game. EGM gave it ratings of 8, 8, 8 and 7. But GameFan, who was notorious for handing out high scores like free condiments, gave it shockingly “low” scores of 78, 75and 70%. Super Play Magazine, who were much harder graders in general (not to mention they weren’t huge fans of the beat ‘em up genre) rated this game 52%. Public fan reception has been a little more positive though. Most gamers would agree that this is a pretty good game, especially by X-Men standards at that time.
Size matters. Oh, how the mighty have fallen
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“EAT THIS, BUB!”
I enjoyed playing this game back in 1994, and revisiting it again this past week leading up to the new X-Men movie has been, for the most part, an enjoyable experience. It’s definitely not Capcom’s best effort and certainly feels rushed at times, but it’s still quite fun to play through the game using the various characters and utilizing their unique special moves. The graphics are big, bright and bold — it has that classic SNES look to it where you just know at a glance that it was made in the year 1994 (if that makes sense). It has a pretty rockin’ soundtrack to boot. Not in the same league as say a Mega Man X or a Donkey Kong Country but I dare say it more than holds its own. Control is tight and crisp, but the levels are way too short. Just as you’re about to sink your teeth into a stage, it ends. It leaves you with sort of an empty feeling. It’s fun while it lasts, but it never lasts long enough to kick the game playing experience into that extra gear that very good or great games have. Had Capcom spent a little more time fine tuning this aspect, this game could truly have been one of their many SNES classics. Instead, it’s simultaneously disappointing yet fairly solid in spite of its flaws.
Paging Colossus…
I don’t mind single-plane beat ‘em ups, although I prefer more traditional “free roaming” ones such as Final Fight or Streets of Rage, but it works here. The inclusion of special moves done via Street Fighter II motions is pretty neat, and there’s a little more platforming here than seen in most typical beat ‘em ups. Instead of each mutant having a “clear all” attack that takes a little health off their health, each one has special mutant powers that can be executed without penalty or limit. I thought that was a pretty cool twist on the whole beat ‘em up trope. X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse feels like a bit of an amalgam of three classic genres: beat ‘em up, action platformer and in some cases, hints of a 2D one on one fighter. There were certainly instances (like the fight with Juggernaut) where I started daydreaming about this game actually being a legit Street Fighter II clone. Man, too bad Capcom didn’t incorporate a bonus mode where you can pick any of the superheroes and villains to duke it out, Street Fighter II style. Sure, it wouldn’t be terribly polished, but we got such bonus modes in NES Double Dragon and SNES Combatribes. Mutant Apocalypse would have done it better. Anyway, it’s not fair to criticize a game for not including a mode that thinks outside the box, but it is an indication that the game could have been more (generally speaking) and that Capcom didn’t let this one “cook to perfection” for one reason or another. Still, it’s a rock solid title that’s worthy of a spot in any Super Nintendo collection. It’s just a shame it wasn’t even better but hey, it’s hard to complain much when you see all the gems Capcom gave us during the vaunted SNES era.
Super Play Magazine was a UK publication that ran 48 issues from 1992-1996. It’s been referred to by some Super Nintendo fans as the “SNES Bible.” About 10 years ago I was lucky enough to win an auction for 45 of the 48 issues. It’s a magazine worthy of the hype — it’s the perfect companion to any SNES library. I read through the issues in order cover to cover from Halloween to Christmas back in 2006. It was awesome. But nothing compared to the moment I reached issue #42. For right there on the front cover it boasted something that made my heart race just a bit faster. A Top 100 list. Now, I know everyone has varying opinions on “top” lists. But for me, as long as the list is done in good fun and the author doesn’t act like it’s the end-all, be-all, then it’s all good. I find top lists fun to browse through. Ever since I read EGM’s Top 100 Video Games list in their 100th issue (November 1997), I’ve loved the idea of lists. As a matter of fact, for the past 10+ years I’ve been actively working on compiling a list of my own personal SNES favorites. I hope to share that at some point before 2017 is out. But for now, I’m proud to convert over Super Play’s Top 100 list from April 1996.
As you read through this list, may you recall fondly why the SNES is one of the very best of all time. And hey… may you even find a game or two you never heard of, or overlooked, or disregarded in the past. It’s all part of the fun and joy that comes with reading a ‘Top’ list. So then, without further ado…
One of my most viewed pages ever on the first siteSit back, crack open a cold one and enjoy
100. COOL SPOT (Virgin)82%
Before Dave Perry was selling the cartoon rights to garden-based invertebrates for millions of dollars, he was designing platformers like this for Virgin. It’s a twist — and there has to be a twist, or the game’s Just Another Platformer, right? — is Spot’s size: he’s a veritable Tom Thumb in the game world, making for a lengthy supply of size comparison japerings. The graphics are topper too, mind, and as a whole it stands as one of the few non-Mario platformers worth anything more than a passing glance.
99. SAMURAI SPIRITS (Takara) 84%
If any game company is synonymous with any one particular type of game, it is Takara and beat-‘em-ups. The two go together like Princess Di and divorce papers, and while the Japan-based coders have released many disappointing examples in their time — World Heroes and Art of Fighting, to name but two — Samurai Spirits (AKA Samurai Shodown) is one victory. This SNES version lacks the screen-scaling of the coin-op/Neo Geo original, and it’s not as polished as we would have liked, but it retains enough of the original’s flavor to make it worthwhile.
98. HEBEREKE’S POPOITTO(Sunsoft) 86%
Sunsoft’s second ‘tribute’ to Super Puyo Puyo (their first was Hebereke’s Popoon) sees them getting just that little bit closer to its greatness. Popoitto uses the same link-four-colors concept and peppers the gameplay area with a number of nasties which have to be removed before you can even think about moving on to the next stage. And before you ask, no, we’ve no idea what Popoitto means, either.
97. UNIRALLY (Nintendo) 85%
The only SNES-only game from Scottish coders (and Dream Team members) DMA Design, Unirally (or Uniracers)is a fine example of original gameplay and innovative graphics. Using a process not far removed from Rare’s ACM, the unicycles call upon countless frames of prerendered animation to give a splendidly vivid, if occasionally headache-inducing, look to the thing. Perhaps the fastest game around, the enjoyment of hammering around loops and twirls is heightened by the split-screen two-player mode, which makes all the difference.
96. SPIKE MCFANG (Bulletproof) 85%
Originally released in Japan as Dracula Kid, The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is cuteness incarnate. It qualifies more as an arcade adventure rather than an ARPG, and its action-led style allows it to be a diverse little package, one moment seeing you white-water rafting, later seeing you walking rafters battling spiders. The magical attacks, based around a playing card theme, are novel, and it all adds up to a very original title.
95. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY (Nintendo) 90%
It’s interesting to note that when Nintendo gave Rare the license to produce a game on their behalf, they chose not to let them have Mario to play with, but Donkey Kong — a character with nowhere near the same amount of kudos nor following as the platform-pounding plumber. Did they not trust our Warwickshire-based chums to turn in an effort to do Mazza justice? We could pontificate all day. What’s important is that Rare did a decent job, especially when you consider at the same time they created a new era of SNES graphics to boot.
94. THE LOST VIKINGS (Interplay) 84%
Heaven knows where Interplay found the inspiration for this, a platformy puzzle-type thing starring three rough-hewn bearded geezers, but here the game is, and a compelling little thing it turns out to be too. You tackle each level in a sort of back-and-forth fashion, switching between the vikings in turn as you reach bits which require their individual skills to overcome. Yes, it probably sounds a bit cruddy, and admittedly the whole thing has something of a Commodore 64 game feel to it, but it’s original.
93. SUPER PARODIUS (Konami) 86%
Essentially Gradius on hallucinogens, with delightfully remixed versions of a number of well-known pieces of music and boss characters to make you weep with disbelief, this is an old shoot-‘em-up with lots going for it. If you’re not familiar with Gradius, well, what the heck have you been doing for the last ten years? Pressing flowers? We shall explain: It’s a forced horizontally scrolling shooter whose most novel contribution to the genre is the concept of ‘multiples’ — little pods which follow your ship and act as companions. Do you see?
92. DESERT STRIKE (Electronic Arts) 90%
Fact: the only people who claim that military hardware is fascinating are dull people. (Unless we’re talking fantastical military hardware, of course — give us a 50 foot tall assault suit and watch us smile). And so it comes as little surprise that Desert Strike, in which you fly a modern-day combat helicopter, is not as fast-moving or exciting as fantastical shooters. Dessy might fairly be termed a thinking man’s shoot-‘em-up, in fact, but its challenge and distinctly un-PC themes make it hugely appealing.
91. KIKIKAIKAI (Natsume) 88%
Capcom’s Gunsmoke and Commando coin-ops paved the way for countless games presented in the same vein, and Kikikaikai (AKA Pocky and Rocky)is one of the finest examples you’ll see on the SNES. More difficult than its slightly prettier sequel (which was published by Ocean in the UK under the name of Pocky and Rocky 2), it chronicles the exploits of a young, reifu-throwing sorceress and her cuddly raccoon companion. As you’d expect from a game with a name like this, it’s packed to the rafters with Japanese weirdness, and we love it dearly.
90. SIDE POCKET (Marubeni) 86%
The game popular with fat lager-fiends and sponging students alike proves almost as playable in its SNES form as it does after a few cherryades down at the local watering hole. It’s a great interpretation is Side Pocket, made all the more enjoyable by the fact that you don’t have to get 50 pees from the bar nor argue over who’s going to rack them up this frame. Oh, and it has one of our favorite speech samples ever (an ill-sounding woman who announces the title of the game as if she herself has had one too many cherryades).
89. SUPER STAR WARS (JVC/Virgin) 89%
When ex-editor Matt Bielby said that the music in Super Star Wars was “almost good enough to justify the price of the game on its own,” he wasn’t just being his typically over-enthusiastic self: this is a landmark in SNES music, capturing the mood and feel of the motion picture like no other film license game before or since. It’s easily the most fun game of the trilogy, too, with a fatter-than-Jabba wodge of levels, endearingly recognizable graphics and slick platform shoot-‘em-up gameplay.
88. BREATH OF FIRE (Capcom) 80%
It took a long time getting a Western release (18 months, to be precise), but the wait turned out to be just about worthwhile. Forget about it providing anything like the involvement of Square’s FF series because it comes across more as a clone than a fully-fledged attempt at taking them on equal terms. Instead look at it as an above average RPG with its own fair share of talking points, notably its clever day-to-night transitions and a healthy clan of likable, if rather underdeveloped, characters.
87. WORLD MASTERS GOLF (Virgin) 80%
There’re enough golf games on the SNES to fill a pair of Jimmy Tarbuck’s plus-fours, but this, the first effort by a UK development team (Arc Developments, if you’re interested), leaves them all choking on sand as it chips delightfully out of the bunker and straight into the ‘cup.’ With corky Mode 7 flybys, four courses (Aldan Forest, Cranfield Lakes, Marston Beach and Victoria Plains), a workable ‘three-press’ power bar system, and generally pleasant presentation all-round, it’s everything the ardent fan could ask for.
86. XANDRA’S BIG ADVENTURE (Namco) 85%
If you’ve ever opened a packet of Jelly Babies, picked out a green one, held it between thumb and forefinger and thought, ‘I wonder what it would be like to be this green jelly feller,’ then you should A) consider taking up some form of medical help, and B) buy Xandra’s Big Adventure. Xandra, see, is a little guy made of green jelly, and he takes up a pitchfork in an umpteen level platformer that’s filled with the kind of innovation you’ll only find in Japanese software. Keep an eye out for Whirlo, the European version which wasn’t released in the UK.
85. ULTIMATE PARODIUS (Konami) 85%
There’s little to say about Ultimate Parodius other than that it’s an improvement over the original (yes, even though it scored one percent more in our review) but not quite up there with the latest installment (yes, even though we gave that game two percent less) which you’ll find further up the list. It’s all a trifle confusing, we admit, but at the end of the day the review scores here are pretty irrelevant — some of the older games have aged better than others, and… oh, just trust us, okay?
84. JURASSIC PARK (Ocean) 89%
Licensemeisters Ocean inevitably snatched the rights to Spielberg’s T-Rex of a movie and surprised us all by delivering a game which is not only entertaining but fairly original, too (which is more than can be said for Sony Imagesoft’s Jurassic Park 2). Incorporating Gauntlet-esque outdoor bits with a selection of indoor sections rendered á la Wolfenstein, JP presents a series of tasks which add up to a well-rounded arcade adventurey challenge.
83. PUGSLEY’S SCAVENGER HUNT (Ocean) 90%
Ocean were one of the first UK-based outfits to really get behind the SNES, and it didn’t take them long to coax wonderful things out of it. Addams Family Values II: Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt, to give it its full name, was early evidence that Brit coders could do stuff to rival the best of what Japan had to offer, with its magnificent use of color and ingenious presentation (check out the level which takes place inside Granny’s crystal ball for proof). While not nearly as player-friendly as any Mario game, this hasn’t aged badly at all.
82. RAMPART (Electronic Arts) 79%
The best video games, some say, are those where more than two or more people can take part at once. While RPG fans would contest this claim with their biggest +1 Swords of Chaos, Rampart illustrates perfectly just how much can be gleaned from a concept once you throw another player into the mix. A two-player conversion of Atari’s three-player trackball coin-op, Rampart‘s a game which tests both fast-paced shooting accuracy and Tetris-like building skills. It is a unique game and has unjustly gone dismissed by most SNES owners.
81. SECRET OF EVERMORE (Square Soft) 81%
The long-awaited attempt of Square Soft’s American arm to produce something to rival Secret of Mana turned out, perhaps inevitably, to fall some way short of those magical standards. There’s still quite a bit here to get excited about, of course, notably the combat system (smooth and fast-paced), the atmospheric sound effects (Wil likes the noisy market scene) and the alchemy principle (whose mix-and-match spell-making replaces the more common simpler methods in just about every other RPG). And it’s out in the UK.
80. NFL QUARTERBACK ’96 (Acclaim) 89%
To quote Tony’s flatmate Will Groves, who guest reviewed this in issue 40, “As usual, non-gridiron fans will take a lot of convincing but anyone who knows the game and has enjoyed Madden in the past might want to consider sacrificing just a tiny bit of the Fat One’s on-field experience for the more managerial/coaching experience of NFL QBC ’96.” What the scruffy urchin’s trying to say is that this is the best American footy game on the SNES. He just gets a little bit mixed up sometimes, bless him.
79. WORLD LEAGUE BASKETBALL (HAL) 84%
Way before NBA Jam strode onto the court with its size-16 Nike Air Maxes, this was the best basketball sim on the SNES by a fair chalk. Making full use of Mode 7 to spin and scale the court — and induce vomiting in ex-editor James Leach’s case (yes, really) — it gets a trifle confusing following the action for the first hour or so of play, but give it time and it gels to form a mostly satisfying sports sim.
78. THE CHAOS ENGINE (Bitmap Bros) 89%
Most video game programmers are happy to remain anonymous apart from a credit at the end of their games. Not so the Bitmap Brothers, who insisted upon getting their mugs in anywhere and everywhere. Their desires to be famous aside, they make good games, and this is one of ‘em. It’s Gauntlet for the ’90s, except with only two players and, well, much fewer levels. What’s especially commendable is that if you don’t have a human companion kicking about you can opt for a CPU-controlled variety, whose behavior is remarkably convincing. This game is known as Soldiers of Fortune in North America.
77. OGRE BATTLE (Enix) 80%
It was hard to believe that sound as lush and graphics as sumptious as those in Ogre Battle could belong to a mere strategy game. Even a slight lack of involvement during the actual battles couldn’t deter a pointy-hatted Zy from extolling its virtues. Should you be fluent in Japanese, you could replace Ogre Battle’s entry with its oft delayed sequel — Tactics Ogre which surpasses it in every department. As there seems to be no sign of it appearing here though, Ogre Battle still wins out as the best-looking fantasy strategy game available.
76. JUNGLE STRIKE (Electronic Arts) 83%
The Strike games — Desert, Jungle and Urban — fall into that horribly cliched category of you’ll either love them or hate them. Some gamers — mostly hardcore arcade fans — simply can’t abide the way they limit your munitions and fuel, meaning that you’re always working against the clock and a finite amount of times you can pull on the trigger, while those of a more strategic bent find the approach invitingly taxing. Us? We’re quite partial to a spot of Strikeage, and feel this is the best of the trilogy on the SNES.
75. MORTAL KOMBAT II (Acclaim) 90%
Perhaps the biggest grumble ever — bigger even than “Waaagh! Why aren’t we getting such-and-such RPG in the UK?” and “Why can’t I ‘be’ the bosses in Street Fighter II?” — must be “Why isn’t there any blood in Mortal Kombat?” Such gripes were more forgivable then most, though — after all, the gore and violence was MK’s main selling point, despite whatever Williams would like to believe to the contrary. This MK2 conversion pulled over all of its coin-op counterpart’s juicy bits to become a worthy little fighting game.
74. STREET RACER (Ubi Soft) 91%
There have been many occasions when we’ve found our jaws collecting fluff off the carpet. And second only to Ollie’s ability to consume an entire packet of chocolate digestives in three seconds flat in the jaw/floor interfacing department is the four-player split screen mode of Street Racer. Four independent Mode 7 windows running at speeds in excess of Super Mario Kart, thanks to its “Look, ma! No Super FX chip!” coding, cement Racer‘s inclusion in the Top 100.
73. EARTHWORM JIM (Virgin) 91%
Created by Dave Perry’s hand-picked team of programmers and designers, Shiny Entertainment (of whom Nick Jones, who programmed SNES Alien 3 while still at Probe, is one, video game trivia fans), Earthworm Jim can justifyably claim to be the first ever game to come close to looking like a cartoon. It could also lay claim to being one of the most imaginative games to reach the SNES, and proves that it is possible to make video games genuinely humorous.
72. SUPER SMASH TV (Acclaim) 84%
Super Smash TV was the first game Ed ‘Mortal Kombat’ Boon produced when he joined Williams’ coin-op division, a fact which should give an insight into its nature. Yes, destruction, death and carnage are the objectives in this update of the classic early ’80s coin-op Robotron 2084. The coin-op used two joysticks, one for moving your blokey, one for aiming your shots, and the SNES joypad’s four-button arrangement made the conversion as playable as anyone could have hoped. The two-player facility is the icing on the cake.
71. SUPER FAMILY TENNIS (Namco) 83%
If Super Tennis had a multitap option, this game probably wouldn’t have made it into the Top 100, but it doesn’t, so it does, if you follow. With a more limited range of shots than ST, its graphics and presentation nevertheless surpass it with some ease. The animated backdrops are especially noteworthy and demonstrate the kind of attention to detail missing from the likes of Jimmy Connor’s Pro Tennis Tour, David Crane’s Amazing Tennis and Wil Overton’s Office Cardboard Racquets and Sellotape Ball Tennis.
70. LEMMINGS 2 (Psygnosis) 88%
Green hair, blue capes, big feet — yep, Ollie’s mates really are a weird bunch. Boom, boom. Anyway, what we have here is the sequel to the world’s most popular puzzle game after Tetris. This follow-up introduces the idea of breaking down Lemmings into tribes, each bearing characteristics unique to that breed, thus making each more suited to certain types of levels than others. What makes it all worthwhile is that an awful lot of thought has gone into putting the all-new levels together — an all too rare occurrence in a sequel.
69. MORTAL KOMBAT 3 (Acclaim) 85%
After hauling MK2‘s blood-soaked carcass back into the workshop, Williams returned with a game that’s bigger, juicier and more stuffed with secret bits than an MP’s private life. While the characters occasionally feel more lightweight than those of the former game, and the presentation lacks its punch, if you’re going to bother with any of the Mortal Kombat series you really should make it this one. As a conversion it’s sound, and you’ll not go far wrong with it if you bear in mind it’s not trying to be Street Fighter II.
68. DIDDY’S KONG QUEST (Nintendo) 82%
When we put Rare’s latest platformer head-to-head against Yoshi’s Island last issue it slowly became apparent that Brit designers still have a lot to learn from our chums across the oceans. Judged purely on its own merits, DKQ is nevertheless a perfectly serviceable example of one of gaming’s oldest themes, with especially gorgeous graphics — perhaps the best ever seen on the SNES, in fact — and a difficulty level that’ll keep you pumping away at the joypad for hours. Or at least until you break it through sheer frustration…
67. POP ‘N’ TWINBEE (Konami) 84%
No, we don’t know why it’s called what it is, either. What we are certain of, though, is that it’s the second best of the pitifully small amount of vertically-scrolling shooters on the SNES. The Konami trademarks are evident from the moment the first ground-based nasties — a group of living pineapples, no less — scroll into view, and it retains a cute, messed-up-in-the-head spirit all the way through. Its low point is the difficulty setting (which, is low), but with the three elements of gameplay, graphics and sound in such full effect, you hardly care.
66. SENSIBLE SOCCER (Sony Imagesoft) 91%
While neither as fast or comprehensive in scope as the Mega Drive or Amiga versions, SNES Sensi is still accomplished enough to deftly sidestep every single one of its competition… well, except for ISSD, of course, which stands in its path like an impassible brick wall. Simplicity and speed are the two factors which distinguish it, and although it will feel more like a game of pinball than football to the uninitiated, everything eventually becomes second nature after repeated play. Just like football in real life, really.
65. PARODIUS 3 (Konami) 83%
The third — and best — installment in the series offers an incredible 16 characters to choose from — eight male and eight female (er, we think, although it’s difficult to sex spacecraft) — and, unbelievably, the most outstandish elements ever to make it into a game. If you missed the review last ish, you won’t have seen the karaoke-singing panda in a dress or the lipstick-shooting, bra-wearing robot boss. Which, come to think of it, you’re probably better off not seeing.
64. FLASHBACK (Sony Imagesoft) 91%
We don’t welcome conversions from other formats, generally speaking (unless that format is a coin-op), but we’re willing to make an exception for this, Delphine’s follow-up to Out of This World, which comes to the SNES via the Amiga. An early exponent of the graphical technique of rotoscoping — where a real person’s movements are recorded to generate game animation — it’s a platformer with heavy adventurish overtones. The animated cut scenes work well, and it’s sad to contemplate never seeing its like on the SNES again.
63. R-TYPE III (Irem) 83%
Masters of the scrolling shooter Irem finally proved they had what it takes — they’d already given us the lackluster Super R-Type and GunForce — with this, a game that isn’t, surprisingly, a conversion of a coin-op but a totally original effort. Using Mode 7 in just about every way imaginable it provides one of the few examples of games of this type worth investing any time into. While most others are as predictable as Anthea Turner’s inane grin, R-Type III starts out originally and continues to try to improve on itself over and over.
62. UN SQUADRON (Capcom) 91%
A loose conversion of their coin-op of the same name, UN Squadron is one of Capcom’s finest SNES games. Based on the anime and manga strip Area 88 — which was used for the game’s name in Japan, incidentally — it’s a horizontally-scrolling shooter in the classic mold, with all the usual power-ups and attack wave/boss structure we’ve come to expect since the likes of Gradius set the agenda. Novelty bonus points come in the form of a shop where you buy new weapons and the opportunity to pick and choose your way through the levels.
61. CIVILIZATION (Koei) 88%
Civilization looks like a pile of nob. It also plays like a bit of a clinker when you start out. But give it a chance and it’ll grab hold of your attention like a pit bull terrier to the seat of a postie’s trousers. You start as a leader of a tribe whose purpose is to build it up over the years into a flourishing society. Along the way your scientists invent various items and concepts with the goal being to make it into space by the year 2001. To some this will prove as boring as Brian Walden, but Sim City fans will lose themselves in it for weekends at a time.
60. SUPER ALESTE (Toho) 87%
At a time when few thought the SNES could cut it in moving lots of details around the screen, Super Aleste came along and delivered non-believers a punch to the throat they wouldn’t be forgetting in a hurry. We are talking Sprite Central — so much so that it occasionally gets a mite tricky working out what’s going on — and this technical achievement coupled with the seven types of weaponry make for a most enjoyable brains-off, triggers-on blaster. The downside? Oh, you had to ask, didn’t you. It’s not massively difficult. Damn. This game is known as Space MegaForce in North America.
59. OUT TO LUNCH (Mindscape) 84%
Of all the ideas anyone could come up with to build a game around, cooking must rank as one of the least likely to turn out any fun. But Out To Lunch is fun with a capital ‘F.’ It’s jollier than Father Christmas, more compelling than an opened tube of Pringles, and as welcoming as an open-armed Claudia Schiffer. The secret of its success? It doesn’t try to blind you with over-the-top graphics or convoluted storylines — instead it delivers good traditional gameplay values polished up with dinky presentation and amusing graphics.
58. THEME PARK (Ocean) 91%
Trust Bullfrog — creators of such adrenaline-pumping titles as Populous, Populous 2 and soon, Sim Hospital — to come up with a game which asks you to manage a funfair. It’s not nearly as dull as it sounds, of course — funky presentation, groovesome graphics and super-addictive gameplay ensure that it’s rarely anything less than fascinating. Perhaps not destined for the classic status which Sim City has earned itself, Theme Park nevertheless shows what the cream of the UK’s development talent can offer the world.
57. NBA JAM: TOURNAMENT EDITION (Acclaim) 90%
A super conversion of the smash-hit coin-op which puts action ahead of strategy, resulting in a fast-moving game. While we’re here, have you ever wondered why Acclaim games such as this and the Mortal Kombat series have so many hidden options and cheats? Well… it’s because during the months that follow a game’s release, players seek them out and send them to mags like Super Play, which duly print them, giving the game bonus coverage, some times for up to three months. Free advertising, see?
56. SPARKSTER (Konami) 89%
Originally something of a celeb on the Mega Drive, the opossum hit the SNES in some style in 1994. Not as celebrated as it deserves to be, Sparkster is one of the funkiest platformers we’ve had the pleasure of playing, with bosses bonkers enough to make your hair fall out and Special Bits stacked up to the ceiling. Such as, you ask? A giant robot boxing match in space, rotating missiles almost a screen in height and beautiful watery reflections. You’d best play it on a difficulty setting trickier than Normal, though…
55. MICRO MACHINES (Sony Imagesoft) 83%
It was inevitable that, after producing countless budget-priced racing games on 8-bit computer formats (remember the likes of BMX Simulator?), Codemasters would get around to exploiting the theme on a console. The result, first seen on the NES, was a revelation, and this more-or-less straight conversion offers as many larfs as ever, with some parallax scrolling and an enhanced multi-player option being the only real enhancements. Micro Machines is simple, addictive racing fun the way your mother used to make it.
54. NHL ’96 (Electronic Arts) 90%
If you’ve ever visited the local ice rink only to be bundled over by a four-foot-tall 10-year-old as he zigzags around at around 60 MPH, you’ll appreciate this opportunity to zip around an expanse of frozen water without the risk of battered knees and a pride to match. More than that, though, it’s the latest and best of EA’s top-selling ice hockey series, with super-slick gameplay and as many options as you could wish for (although we wouldn’t have said no to being able to leave the ice, pick up some chips from the fast-food bar).
53. MICRO MACHINES 2 (Ocean) 88%
Like the original Micro Machines, except with more tracks, more vehicle types and more, well, fun. Some of the new course designs are a bit on the clumsy side, but it matters not. That’s all there is to say, really. Um… How about a joke? Okay, a man goes into a pub with his pet giraffe and buys a pint of beer. After drinking it, the poor animal collapses and dies, spurring the landlord to say,“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”, whereupon the bloke replies, “It’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.” No? Erm… it loses a lot when it’s written down.
52. PRINCE OF PERSIA (Konami) 89%
If turbans and voluminous ‘loons turns you on, you’ll be gagging for a bash on POP, whose lead character sports some of the most attractive Arabian duds going. This plaformy slasher is very much an acquired taste: its controls are notoriously fiddly to get to grips with and the hazard-packed levels don’t suffer fools gladly. But put in the effort and be prepared to indulge in no small amount of hair-tearing along the way and you’ll get a great deal out of it.
51. MICKEY’S MAGICAL QUEST (Capcom) 89%
Whether you’re swimming through the sap of a tree or fighting a boss character who rotates as he skates in a half-pipe made of ice, the graphics in MMQ never fail to raise at least one eyebrow. Its rock-solid platform gameplay is spruced up by Mickey’s ‘magical’ ability to change between outfits as the game progresses, allowing him to play with such diverse personas as a mountaineer (with grappling hook) and a firefighter (with working hose). Not overly taxing, but one of the prettiest and most charming games in this list.
50. TOURNAMENT FIGHTERS (Konami) 90%
At a time when every man and his dog was scrambling to clone Street Fighter II’s legendary gameplay, it was left to Konami to do the job right. Their blatant rip-off, featuring the pizza-crazed foursome and a selection of adversaries from the animated series, worked because, unlike the many clones which altered SFII’s core gameplay in order to differentiate themselves, it didn’t really try to be different — its only major gameplay change being a power-move bar. Stonky special moves places this among the best SFII rips going.
49. SUPER BOMBERMAN 2 (Hudson Soft) 91%
Every fan of Bomberman had their fair share of ideas about what they wanted to see in this sequel. Whether they were pleased with what they got — player-coded bombs, various new power-ups, and the biggy, playing areas in the main game option which scroll over large areas — remains another thing altogether. Whatever the case, SB2‘s battle mode is enough in itself to make this a worthwhile undertaking, especially when you consider that, like many of the games here, it’s kicking around now for less than 20 golden round ones.
48. BUST-A-MOVE (Taito) 84%
‘Do’ing a puzzle game is hard. It either goes very right (see Kirby’s Avalanche) or very wrong (see Zoop). Bust-A-Move (or Puzzle Bobble in Japan or in the arcades) belongs very much to the former category. Its one-player mode is fairly forgettable but its two-player option has been known to force an office to grind to a halt for an afternoon, such is the volume of competitive juices it’s able to squeeze from participants. It’s a simple link-the-colors affair, but its speed and accessibility make it essential to anyone who’s always got a pal handy.
47. SOLSTICE II: EQUINOX (Sony Imagesoft) 91%
There are few things worse than having to listen to a self-appointed video game expert bang on about how 8-bit games remain far superior to any others since. But 8-bit games have their uses, and the most obvious is in influencing games of today, which is why Equinox works — because it took an excellent 8-bit game theme (the isometric 3D ‘arcade adventure’) and made it better. Apart from its showstopping soundtrack (another Tim Follin masterpiece), other stand-out points are its unusual color scheme and high level of challenge.
46. SOUL BLAZER (Enix) 89%
As one of the few Zelda-alikes to come anywhere near touching Nintendo’s work of genius, Soul Blazer dates back to 1992. You play a fresh-faced young adventurer whose task is to return a withered kingdom to normality. The action may seem repetitious at first, but the enormous range of characters — with numerous animals including a dog named Turbo — and a consuming quest make this one of the most addictive and rewarding ARPGs to hit the SNES. You’ll have to dig hard and deep to find it these days, but it’s worth it.
45. KILLER INSTINCT (Nintendo) 85%
Although the formula ‘Street Fighter II + Mortal Kombat 2 + ACM graphics = top-selling game’ could be construed by skeptics as lazy design, Rare’s first attempt at a one-on-one beat-‘em-up is constructed with such professionalism that it’s difficult not to enjoy it. Yes, the concept of combos in excess of 40 hits borders on the ridiculous and the characters on show lack the charisma, and therefore appeal, of Kenneth and co., but KI is proof positive that Street Fighter II’s playing style — which it clones — cannot be beaten.
44. BREATH OF FIRE 2 (Capcom) 81%
When resident RPG-head Zy Nicholson says that a new example of the breed has “friendly menu-driven combat, superb real-time effects, isometric battle scenes and some likeable weirdness” you know it’s worth more than just a cursory examination. And this BOF2 most definitely is: still shorter on quality than Square’s best output but strong enough to placate his fellow pointy-hat wearers. Which is, dear readers, why it earns the right to ease it buttocks into one of the 100 comfy chairs at Super Play’s Table of Excellence.
43. FRONT MISSION (Square Soft) 88%
Foregoing their usual magic and monsters stronghold Square came up trumps with this future war strategy game based around the infamous ‘Mobile Suit.’ With a superbly polished menu system and wonderful isometric battle fields, Super Play soon warmed to what could have been a rather dry stats fest. For a game that’s yet to be released outside Japan, potential players should be comforted by the fact that Square have, in an effort to Westernize the story, written all the menus in English. All this and Tommy Chong too.
42. EARTHWORM JIM 2 (Virgin) 85%
It would have been easy for Shiny to fart out any old sequel, but at almost every turn this shows what happens when you spend good money on good programmers and designers: you get a good game. From avoiding stairlift-bound grannies to rescuing puppies by bouncing them onto marshmallows, EWJ2 goes out of its way to further push the platform game envelope. Luzz a top soundtrack and a decent level of challenge into the mix and you have something which bodes well for Shiny’s imminent efforts on the Nintendo 64.
41. ILLUSION OF GAIA (Enix) 88%
This charming pseudo sequel to Soul Blazer provides ample proof of Enix’s mastery of the action RPG niche. You don’t have to worry about a list of stats the length of your arm; just pick up your sword and go. As with Blazer, there’s a selection of NPCs who brighten up the proceedings considerably, and the lead character’s ability to change into a super-powered form at various points ensures that there’s always something new waiting just around the corner. It’s out in the UK as Illusion of Time — go and look for it right now.
40. EARTHBOUND (Nintendo) 88%
The fact that this is the only game on the SNES to feature a signpost advertising ‘DRUGS’ should be enough to convince you that it’s not just yer everyday RPG. If the word crude could have been invented to describe its graphics, the words quirky and ingenious might well have come into being to relate to its other parts. Its combat system is limited, but the storyline, tripped-out visuals and subtle soundtracks ensure it’s never anything less than totally entertaining.
39. SUPER BOMBERMAN 3 (Hudson Soft) 89%
What Hudson Soft seem to have failed to realize during their updating of Bomberman is that the game is at its most fun in multi-player mode, yet this third part contains less battle screens than the only-quarter-as-big original. What’s just as frustrating is that the enhancements on offer in this third part — kangeroos to ride and an ‘after-death’ play-on feature, to mention the most important ones — only hint at Hudson’s design talents, and you can’t help yearning for more. But it’s still Bomberman, and Bomberman is brill.
38. CANNON FODDER (Virgin) 89%
Cocky coders Sensible Software plucked the little chaps out of Sensible Soccer and plopped them into a military warzone to produce one of the most enjoyable and original games to reach the Amiga. The SNES version is as accurate a conversion as one could wish for, and the guide-the-soldiers gameplan remains as playable as ever. Best appreciated with a SNES mouse, the only flaw to be found in it rears its head in a later level where success seems to lie as much with luck as it does with out-and-out skill.
37. SUPER CASTLEVANIA IV (Konami) 91%
Simon Belmont may be the most unlikely name for a hero since Cecil (out of FFII), but this, his first 16-bit game, is a showcase title. It’s something of a slow starter, however, and you’d be forgiven for playing the first couple of levels and going away wondering what the fuss is about. Stick with it, though, and its true colors make themselves known in the form of a barrage of memorable pieces of music and some of the cleverest use of Mode 7 ever seen. It’s rock hard in places and you’ll feel a proper smug bugger when you finish it.
36. AXELAY (Konami) 85%
If technical achievement was the point of reference for this Top 100, Konami’s old but golden shooter would trample all in its path. From start to finish, Axelay is an extraordinary game. Alternating between vertical and horizontal-scrolling levels, each is as memorable as the next, whether it’s the lava-flooded wastes of level four or the subterranean caverns of level five (complete with stunning echo effects). A graphical and sonical tour de force, it’s hampered by a difficulty curve which will challenge only the most noviciate of gamers.
35. STARFOX (Nintendo) 93%
When Argonaut invented the Super FX chip it was the equivalent of Pamela Anderson discovering cosmetic surgery. The first fruit of the marriage between 16-bit SNES and 32-bit RISC chip is, like F-Zero, a piece of gaming history that no SNESite can afford to have missed. Inspired by Namco’s Starblade, it’s polygon shooting at its finest as you and three animal chums team up to take down the evil Andross and his cohorts through levels based both over land and in space. Miyamoto’s influence makes all the difference.
34. SHADOWRUN (Data East) 85%
Grim. Gritty. Grimy. Um… Greasy? [Just get on with it -Ed.] Okay, here is a game which should have kick-started an entire series of similar SNES games if there was any justice in the world, but instead remains just the high point on the C.V. of Australian coders Laser Beam. A ‘cyberpunk’ adventure, it’s an isometric 3D actioner where you wake up to find yourself with no memory and must proceed to unravel a tale by cybernetically enhancing your body, ‘jacking’ into ‘matrixes’ and whatnot. Oh, and there’s tons of killings.
33. ACTRAISER (Enix) 90%
When the great SNES versus Mega Drive debate was at its height, Actraiser was wielded in the SNES’s corner as an example of just how superior the Nintendo mchine’s sound capabilities are, thanks to Yuzo Koshiro’s masterful soundtrack. Audio thrills aside, there’s a corky game in here too, presented as a selection of platform slashing levels accessed via a main map section, itself an enjoyable God game-type thing where you must tend to the world’s populace. The long-awaited sequel was pump, incidentally.
32. F-ZERO (Nintendo) 86%
The Amiga had Marble Madness, the Mega Drive had Super Shinobi, and the SNES had this. What are we talking about? Killer apps, of course — games which sell their machines on their merits alone. Any hardened gamer witnessing F-Zero‘s stunning exploration of Mode 7 had to have a machine of their own. There’s no two-player option, the courses are bland when compared to those of Super Mario Kart and it’s only a paltry four mega bits big, but it’s lightning fast and gloriously playable.
31. CHRONO TRIGGER (Square Soft) 90%
We awaited this game’s arrival — the product of Akira ‘Dragon Ball’ Toriyama, Yuji ‘Dragon Quest’ Horii and Hironbu ‘Final Fantasy’ Sakaguchi — with such abatement of breath we nearly kneeled over our keyboards and expired. And when it arrived, it nearly lived up to those lofty expectations, with a roster of smashing-looking characters and a natty time-travelling storyline. The only criticism to be leveled at it is the lack of character depth and overall lightweight nature when compared to the Final Fantasy series.
30. TINY TOONS ADVENTURES (Konami) 89%
Years before Yoshi’s Island planted its innovated feet on the SNES, Konami’s Tiny Toons title — known as Buster Busts Loose in the UK — was doing fresh things with the stale-as-last-month’s-Holvis genre. As early as level two you come across a section where the game holds up while you’re required to take part in a bit of rope skipping before you can pass, while later levels include a game of American football and a space-based bit where you can totally invert gravity. It’s all over rather too quickly, though, but we still love it tons.
29. SIM CITY (Nintendo) 84%
Did you like Lego? Do you still play with it secretly now? Do you still play with it openly now? Whatever the case, if you have even an inkling of interest in building things you’ll love Sim City. It’s not a game for everyone, but those willing to put in the time will discover an addictive experience. Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto had a hand in this version, incidentally, giving it benefits over other versions including the green-haired helper-outer Doctor Wright and a great preset game scenario featuring a mighty Bowser attack.
28. ROCK ‘N’ ROLL RACING (Interplay) 88%
If you’ve ever been stuck on a twisty country lane behind a flatcap-wearing octogenarian in an Austin Maxi, you’ll have no doubt fantasized about having a whacking great assault cannon mounted on your bonnet. This is the sort of game you need to play to relieve such frustration. It’s fast, slick and has about the most impressive guitar effects we’ve ever heard in a game, courtesy of real rock classics re-interpreted by game music genius Tim Follin. It has a fabbo simultaneous two-player too. Gaming rarely gets more fun than this.
27. SUPER PUNCH-OUT!! (Nintendo) 90%
We like boxing. Not for real, of course (our soft faces are too delicate for such behavior), but watching it on the telly and doing it in video games. Especially when the video game is Super Punch-Out!!, Nintendo’s long-in-the-making update of the NES title Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! Yep, simulated pugilism doesn’t come any more entertaining than this. Well, not unless you count Taito’s Real Puncher coin-op, which would prove as much fun, if only we could persuade Wil to be the one standing in front of its scanning camera [Oi! -Wil]
26. PLOK! (Tradewest) 90%
Apart from having the finest harmonica samples ever to grace the SNES (er, although we’re not aware of any other competition), Plok! manages to lift the trophy of Best UK-Produced Platformer, too. It achieves this accolade by being original. Plok, for example, is like no other game character, able to fire off all of his limbs until he’s reduced to just a helpless torso. His charm is joined by a selection of vehicles to bomb around in, collectible special-power outfits and the best black-and-white levels we’ve ever seen. And we’ve seen a few, by crikey.
25. GOEMON 2 (Konami) 90%
Although only available in Japanese form — sales of the Western version of Goemon 1, Legend of the Mystical Ninja, proved too low to warrant the ‘trouble’ of translating the sequel — if you only buy one import cart, make it this one. Although it looks similar to LOTMN, the platform-based sections are more detailed than before (and include a number of vehicles you can hi-jack and use to plough through the weirder-than-before nasties) while the all-new Mode 7 mecha Goemon sequences offer new gameplay. A Konami klassic.
‘Gaiden,’ as many Super Play readers will know, is a Japanese word meaning ‘side story.’ Tetris Battle ‘Side Story,’ then, includes two modes: a battle option, which allows you to collect pods with which to build a spell meter; and a ‘straight’ Tetris mode, which turns out to be the best version of Tetris available on any format anywhere, ever. Surprisingly, the battle mode is a fine and worthwhile twist, too. In all, classic stuff.
23. SUPER BOMBERMAN (Hudson Soft) 92%
To invent a new game style is one thing, but to create one which your competitors find near-impossible to rip off is another — which is what Hudson Soft did in creating the Bomberman concept. Diehard fans agree that the first in the series is the best, with a battle mode simple enough to ensure that all the family can join in, while allowing experienced players to get to grips with grass-roots Bomberman gameplay. You could lock four people in a room with this game for 24 hours and they’d still come out smiling. Probably.
22. STREET FIGHTER II (Capcom) 94%
When SFII arrived in arcades in 1991, many gamers took one look at its six-button controls and wrote it off as something of a novelty — this was, after all, a time when three fire buttons were just about the limit in coin-ops. It didn’t take long for the game’s potential to shine through, though, and it became one of the biggest earners in the history of arcade gaming while the accuracy of this conversion did a similar amount of earning for Nintendo, selling SNESes by the shelfload. The inability to ‘be’ the bosses removes some of the magic, though.
21. STUNT RACE FX (Nintendo) 93%
Only Nintendo’s second Super FX title, SRFX (AKA Wildtrax in Japan) is just as remarkable as their first. If you thought polygons came in only two varieties — dull and duller — you’ll change your mind once you see this. The four vehicles — coupé, 4×4, 2WD and truck — all have personality and individualistic levels of handling and engine performance and the skill required to drive them is something that only comes with practice. Characteristic tracks and fab Stunt and Radio Controlled modes make this a driving game like no other.
20. FINAL FANTASY II (Square Soft) 90%
There are many games that, without Super Play‘s championing of them, would go unnoticed by the general SNES-playing community. Final Fantasy II is one example, serving to introduce those lucky enough to track down an import copy to the delights of turn-based combat and Square’s deftness at weaving tales of magic, war and high drama in a fantastical setting where people with big eyes and even bigger hearts rule the day. The story, soundtrack and finely-tuned gameplay compensate to make it essential playing to all RPGers.
19. CYBERNATOR (Konami) 91%
Unique among shooters, Cybernator has a level of detail normally the sole presence of the most hardcore Airfix modeller — who could forget the little blokeys who run around at your feet peppering you with their peashooter-like weapons, just begging you to turn your giant machine guns onto them? Or the three-screens-high end-of-game boss? Sadly, a sequel never materialized, but we’re looking forward to Gun Hazard, by the same team.
18. SUPER STREET FIGHTER II (Capcom) 96%
We’ll never know why Capcom chose to produce ‘plain old’ SSFII on the SNES when arcade-goers at the time were enjoying the souped-up SSFII Turbo (or ‘X’ as it’s known in Japan), and it remains one of the most frustrating happenings in the machine’s history. With four new characters (Fei Long, Dee Jay, Cammy and T. Hawk), new backdrops and new moves for the old fighters, to name but a few improvements, SSFII is deserving of its place, but players coming to it after Turbo will expect speed, and its absence rather dulls the experience.
17. DOOM (Williams) 92%
If you work in the back room of a butcher shop, Doom may not be nearly as appealing as it is to the average Joe on the street. We’re talking major slaughterage, see, dealt out with a series of chuff-off weapons that make Arnie’s arsenal in Commando look like air pistols. Judged as a conversion, this is more complete than the 32X and Jaguar efforts, and although the lower screen resolution sometimes makes it look like an ugly bugger, the Doom playability remains intact, making it one of the most challenging and impressive games of ’95.
16. INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR SOCCER DELUXE (Konami) 94%
Football games aren’t difficult to write — chuck in a bit of grass, a few sticks at each end and get some players running about and you’re half-way there. What’s difficult is making them intuitive to play and deep enough to keep you coming back. ISSD shoots and scores in both of these departments, with playability that’s as silky as Silky the silkworm’s silk pajamas and so many options that you’ll probably never get around to all of them.
15. ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS (Lucas Arts) 89%
We had little expectations for ZAMN when it turned up in 1993, a fact which made the discovery that it was utterly fantastic all the more pleasurable. Describing it as a maze game makes it sound dull, which it most definitely isn’t. The detail, soundtrack, weapons system, two-player simultaneous mode, showstopping bosses, atmosphere… sigh, we just can’t find anything wrong with it. Well, apart from the fact that they didn’t have the balls to give it its full title in the UK, preferring the less ‘offensive’ Zombies instead. Cuh.
14. SUPER TENNIS (Nintendo) 92%
Tennis. Tennis. TENNIS. TeNniS. Nope, no matter how it’s written, tennis just doesn’t sound exciting at all. But that’s just what Super Tennis proves to be: the most enjoyable sports sim going. Translating a fast-moving sport such as this is tricky, but the programmers have somehow done it so well that it feels beautifully intuitive. The graphics look a bit basic by today’s standards, but then, as they say, who looks at the mantelpiece when they’re stoking the fire?
13. KIRBY’S AVALANCHE (Nintendo) 91%
At a time when it looked like no-one would ever topple Tetris from its position as the greatest puzzle game in the history of all things, along came Compile with Super Puyo Puyo (later repackaged and renamed as a Kirby title for the US market). The idea is simple: groups of two colored blobs fall from the top of the screen which you can rotate and move left and right, just like you can with a Tetris piece. Match four like colors and they disappear, sending rogue blobs to your opponent’s side. So ace in two-player mode it’s unbelievable.
12. CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS (Konami) 90%
Truly a landmark in SNES gaming, Contra as good as turned Nintendo’s 16-bit machine into a coin-op. If it’s Memorable Gaming Moments you’re after you’ll be wanting to play through this and be stopped in your tracks by a flyby bombing raid which sets the whole level aflame. Or maybe it’ll be the giant Mode 7 crab boss which scales in and out of the screen as it attempts to jump on your head. Or… or… There are simply too many. Perhaps the most exciting game on the SNES — this is one classy, timeless blaster.
11. SUPER MARIO COLLECTION (Nintendo) 96%
Four of the finest platform games ever created come together to form a package which no gamer with any degree of self-respect should be without. In the order that they appear, then, Super Mario Bros. is the game that started it all, and is fabbage; Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels is a tough data disk-like extension to part one; Super Mario Bros. 2 is the odd one of the troupe, and pretty good; and Super Mario Bros. 3 is the daddy of them all and nearly as good as Mazza World. Not as slick as the NES originals, but one helluva package.
10. PILOTWINGS (Nintendo) 92%
9. SUPER METROID (Nintendo) 92%
8. SECRET OF MANA (Square Soft) 94%
7. LEGEND OF THE MYSTICAL NINJA (Konami) 90%
6. FINAL FANTASY III (Square Soft) 95%
5. YOSHI’S ISLAND (Nintendo) 94%
Unless you’ve had your head buried in the garden for the last ten months, you can’t have failed to know what this, the sequel to Super Mario World, is all about, and just how highly we regard it.
To call it merely a platform game is to call Super Play 41 sheets of printed material, of variable size and weight, glued together. At every turn the game seems to make an effort to be different, whether it’s in simply giving Yoshi the power to launch eggy projectiles or in presenting level layouts which take you all around the block and back again or in any one of countless set pieces that your average platform game would kill for just one of.
At 16 mega bits, Island isn’t the largest game to ever dock with the good ship SNES, but what you get for your meggage is nothing short of breathtaking. Play it and remember just why you got into video games in the first place.
4. SUPER MARIO WORLD (Nintendo) 94%
Launched alongside the machine in 1990, the portly plumber’s debut SNES outing still has a considerable edge over any similarly styled platformer on any other format since. A tap or two of Miyamoto’s magic wand is what made it so great, of course, and it is the ultimate illustration of the ‘great graphics do not a great game make’ adage.
3. SUPER MARIO KART (Nintendo) 93%
Unlike any other Mario game, SMK didn’t arrive on the SNES gaming scene in a hail of publicity. Rather it slipped in unnoticed through the back door. When gamers woke up to its utter brilliance, however, it remained firmly jammed into cartridge ports the world over for weeks at a time.
What makes it so good? Playability, pure and simple. There is no other driving game which comes close to it in delivering seat-of-the-pants, lean-into-the-corners action. Forget about driving a formula one race car around Silverstone: take Koopa for a spin around a Bowser’s Castle track, leaping lava pits, dodging enemies’ cunningly-aimed projectiles and searching out those elusive red shells, and the magic that only Nintendo seem able to provide becomes patently evident.
With eight characters of differing abilities to choose from, three engine classes, 20 varied tracks, an ingenious Balloon game and a time trial mode, this is the most complete driving game package we’ve ever seen. Can it ever be beaten? We’ll just have to wait for Super Mario Kart R on the Nintendo 64…
2. STREET FIGHTER II TURBO (Capcom) 96%
The sequel to the game which kicked a genre up the arse and dragged it into the ’90s, Turbo must surely be the most played game in just about every SNES owner’s collection. The first of the series to allow players to ‘be’ the bosses, it successfully transfers over every aspect that made the coin-op such a barnstormer. What makes it such an evergreen title is its depth of play: two players who’ve fought against each other on countless occasions can sit down and not be sure of the outcome of any particular match-up, such is its flexibility and scope for variety.
Unlike any other game, being able to play a Street Fighter II title competently is an essential skill in any gamer’s repertoire and, like riding a bike, once you’ve picked it up it never goes away. This version must be applauded for its accuracy as a conversion — for a 20 megabit cartridge game on a console to come this close to the umpteen-times-as-expensive coin-op is no mean feat, and the game will be fondly regarded when most of today’s ‘super console’ titles are but faded memories.
1. THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST (Nintendo) 93%
Okay, we’ve stuck our collective neck out and put Zelda III at the top of the tree, and now you want us to justify our decision. Fair enough. There is, quite simply, no other game which is as complete. And when we say complete, we mean playable, taxing, enthralling and rewarding — every factor which should be looked for in a video game. While many great games stumble on occasions throughout their duration, Zelda III remains constantly engaging throughout. Right from the start, when Princess Zelda’s telepathically-transmitted cries for help set you out on a quest to save her, everything falls into place like a good book. From then on, the scope of the thing unfolds at a fairly uniform pace, giving you extra abilities here and there which in turn allow you to uncover more and more secrets of the game world. And that’s probably its secret: you start out with a limited range of abilities but grow in experience and power as you progress, meaning that unlike, say, a platform game, where you’re asked to perform the same skills throughout, you have to learn and exploit new ones continually.
While its graphics rarely rise above the level of perfunctory and its soundtrack occasionally tires (especially when you’ve spent an hour or so in a particular area trying to fathom out the solution to a certain problem), Zelda III‘s gameplay remains wholly absorbing. It’s linear, sure, but then this is an action RPG. The proof of the pudding is that it could be released today, some five years since its original appearance, and still appear as fresh as the likes of new games like Yoshi’s Island. What’s perhaps most telling is that Zelda III transcends boundaries: a platform fiend or a driving game nut will find it as inviting as a hardcore RPG-head. If you haven’t played it yet… do you really own a SNES?
CLOSING THOUGHTS
There you have it! 100 of the best SNES games according to Super Play Magazine. Lotta great games on there, no doubt, but also some glaring omissions (most notably, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles In Time). I hope going through this list gave you some new titles to take note of… either ones that you perhaps have previously dismissed for one reason or another, or maybe even some titles you had never even heard of before. As stated earlier, I’ve been working on my own top list for over 10 years now, and am hoping to launch it at some point in late 2017 if all goes well. It’s always fun to compare your own opinion with that of others. Speaking of which, regardless of which titles you feel are missing from Super Play’s list, or which titles you think are ranked way too low/high, there’s no denying the boatload of amazing SNES games out there.
Glaring omissions? Games you think the Super Play boys (that came out wrong…) ranked (way) too high or low? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.
On this day I was considering getting back into the SNES scene after having been gone since the mid-late ’90s. I was making my daily gaming board rounds when I saw an intriguing topic over at the DigitPress forum.
“Super Play Magazine! Who read it? Who misses it?”
I love awesome retro gaming magazines. When I found out about SEGA SATURN MAGAZINE in 2001, I went on a long hunt before striking gold in late 2003. This Super Play topic, created by DP member theMot, couldn’t have been posted at a better time! I was still on the fence about buying a Super Nintendo, but the topic made me think “OK, if I DO come back, I’ll definitely look for that magazine.”
And of course, I did come back. January 17, 2006 is the official comeback date for yours truly. And so I began actively pursuing a complete Super Play set from that day forth.
The following is a chronicle of my nine month odyssey. It’s a journey that’s simply unbelievable. I always had confidence I would one day own Super Play, but I had no idea it’d be anything like what it turned out to be…
HAVE CONTACTS, WILL TRAVEL
In my history of online gaming-related activities I learned one very important thing as a collector/gamer, the more you network the better off you are. If people know what you’re looking for, you can find it easier. I’m not saying go post an ad so the whole world can see what you want, but you need to do some legwork if you want to attain something that is valuable and hard to come by. Having great contacts can help a lot.
And I had that in a guy located in the UK named James. He was always my go-to bloke. My brother from another mother. I could always count on King James.
James and I had traded several times over the years from 2001-2004, during my Saturn days. Back in the day he helped me get five Sega Saturn Magazines, after I had won a set of 29 off eBay. In addition to hooking me up with random PAL-only Saturn games over the years
He didn’t post often at this one Sega board, but I sent him a Private Message. It began an extremely LONG PM discussion between us…
DANGLING PSYCHIC ASSASSIN TAROMARU
-FEBRUARY 23, 2006-
I sent James the first PM on this day.
I told him if he knew any collectors who had a complete set of SUPER PLAY that I would be willing to trade that person my TAROMARU copy. Psychic Assassin Taromaru is one of the rarest and most expensive Sega Saturn imports. Enjoyed it as I did, I was willing to part with it for a (near) full set of Super Play Magazine. I also asked him if the magazine was like the Sega Saturn Magazine equivalent for the Super Nintendo.
His response
—
You are correct – Super Play was indeed pretty much the equivalent of SSM but for SNES. Loads of good import coverage, lots of technical features, amazing artwork on every issue (provided by Wil Overton). Hard to find but a great mag. Will see what I can do on that front if you like. Would appreciate Issue 200 of EGM if you can get it for me.
—
So while James scoured the UK for Super Play, I scoured the States for EGM #200.
THE MATCHMAKER
-MARCH 1, 2006-
Less than a week later, he had already found a potential match! I recall thinking to myself, “JAMES IS DA MAN!”
—
I may have a lead for you for the Super Play mags. I’ll need about a week but I know a guy that I think has a complete collection of Super Play mags and I know he is into his Saturn stuff so I may be able to work something out for you guys. I’m not entirely sure how many Super Play mags there were – I think it was around 37 or 38, maybe 40. I’m certain he has at least 1 to 35 and maybe some of the last issues too.
—
Once again, James had come through for me. Right?
WHEELS SET IN MOTION
-MARCH 18, 2006-
It had been close to 3 weeks since James and I last communicated. I was busy buying US SNES games left and right, continually looking for issue #200 and I knew I was in good hands because of our track record. There was nothing to worry about…
On this day James PM’ed me he’ll be meeting his collector friend over brunch to discuss Taromaru for the Super Play magazines, and find out exactly what condition and issue numbers they were.
His message made my day. The wheels were set in motion. Knowing James, I figured it was only a matter of time…
HELL YEAH
-APRIL 24, 2006-
More than a month passed since I last heard from him. Finally I received the following message.
—
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Been unbelievably busy and had some problems with my PC. I’ve met the collector guy. He has the following issues:
Let me know your thoughts. I will continue to ask around for the few missing issues. All issues are in good condition.
—
I didn’t mind the month-plus delay after reading the good news. YES! That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear — that the collector guy had a large majority of the issues, and not something like 1, 5-7, 11-14, 17, 19, 25-28, 31, 33-35. You know, large gaps. It’s always nice to get nearly all of a set in one fell swoop.
“Let me know your thoughts” ??? My thoughts were HELL YEAH!
NOT SO FAST…
-MAY 2, 2006-
About a week later, James emailed me pictures of the collector’s set as I had requested. I was more than satisfied with how everything looked. I replied to James, “LET’S DO THIS.” Note: if it were years later and say 2013 I would probably have said “TAKE MY MONEY” or rather, “TAKE MY TAROMARU” but you get the point.
I was good to go, right? Not so fast…
25 DAYS OF SILENCE
-MAY 27, 2006-
This was unlike James. In the past he was always so quick on replies. But hey, he had great news when he finally broke the silence on this day.
—
Sorry for the delay but I can also get Issues 39, 40, 41, 43 and 44 of Super Play for you in addition to the ones listed before.
—
Everything looks good to go. The trade was Taromaru+EGM #200 (which I found) in exchange for the massive Super Play lot.
The long ongoing PM discussion, which started over three months ago on February 23, was going to finally conclude.
But as with most things in life… things don’t always go as you plan…
GOING DARK(SIDE)
-JULY 31, 2006-
For over two months, James mysteriously vanished. He didn’t answer my PMs or emails. I was worried. I DIDN’T SEND TAROMARU YET. Let me tell you the kind of guy James is. He always shipped first in the past with me and said he would ship first in this transaction as well. That’s the kind of guy he was — he always wanted me to get the item first to see if I was satisfied with it.
So when he disappeared without a trace for two months, I was worried not just for our trade, but for his well-being in general. I mean, it was completely unlike him to go off the radar like that for so long and without a heads up.
In late July, I made a topic at the Sega board asking if anyone there had talked to him since late May.
I didn’t want to “air the laundry” like that, but he left me no other choice.
48 to 72 hours after I made the topic, James PM’ed me for the first time in over two months.
—
I’m really sorry mate I’ve had some things going on over the last couple of months and the whole trade thing was sadly at the bottom of a huge pile of other things.
I have always had fantastic trades with you and am very happy to continue with this trade.
—
I was just glad to hear from him and know that he was OK. The fact that the trade was officially back on was only the cherry atop the cake! I PM’ed him back joking “WISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!”
24 hours later he replied.
—
Haha, nice reference! Have packaged up the mags and will get them posted asap. Will confirm when they are on the way to you and provide a Tracking Number etc if I get given one (depends on the postal method I guess).
Apologies once again for the ridiculous delay – will be good to see this trade through.
—
NOW I WAS OFFICIALLY IN, RIGHT?
… Keep reading…
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME…
-AUGUST 6, 2006-
Not one week later, I received an update.
—
Just to keep you updated. The magazines are all packed up (currently in two separate boxes) and ready for posting. However after going to the Post Office to send them via the usual method is going to be way expensive and also means they won’t be insured. So I’m going to look at Courier options which means they should be delivered in around 3-4 days after they are sent, and they will be insured and it should work out cheaper to send. The thing is that I am away with work until next weekend so it will likely be next weekend that I actually send them.
Just letting you know that I am working on this and you will get the mags (eventually).
Just got to work out the details with the Couriers.
—
I was disappointed, since I figured they were already on the way. No matter, I’ve been waiting over six months now… what’s one more gonna hurt??
MEANWHILE…
I told myself I needed to keep my eyes peeled, keep my options open. So I started searching for Super Play on eBay… hoping I’d find a complete set on offer which I could snipe. JUUUUUUST in case James somehow doesn’t come through…
FIVE DAYS LATER — GOLD
-AUGUST 11, 2006-
In an amazing stroke of luck, I punched in SUPER PLAY MAGAZINE on eBay and expected yet another empty search.
However, on this day there it was!
This is the actual pic used from the 2006 auction
Super Play Issues 1-45 (missing # 9) plus 3 official Super Play Binders. Also includes Super Play Gold 1993 SNES Guide. HOLY CRAP! What were the odds, and what is happening here?! It sounds corny but it really, truly did feel like fate.
It was ALMOST the entire set, only missing issues number 9, 46 and 47 — WOW.
I put it on my watch list. It would end in six days… August 17, 2006. Even back in 2006, I had developed a special eBay bidding tactic that I was using since 2002. Tired of multiple bids only to be sniped at the end, I knew what I was going to do. One bid, maximum bid, punched in with about 3 seconds to go. Only way to do it on eBay, playa!
Alas, there was one tiny problem…
The auction was ending at 9:57 AM.
What was the problem? At the time I had to resort to use the library for my online duties. You see, my brother temporarily took our computer to his work place to get it fixed. And smart phones didn’t exist back in August 2006. Nor did I have a laptop at that time.
The library doesn’t open until 10 AM. On the surface, a bad stroke of luck, for sure.
But… when all else fails, AuctionStealer prevails! Note: AuctionStealer is a free site that automatically inputs your max bid without you having to manually do it. The catch, however, is that it inputs that bid with about 11 seconds to go… giving the competition plenty of time to outdo your bid. Therefore, it’s a nice bonus but only a last resort kind of tool.
So I entered my max on AuctionStealer, and prayed for the best…
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH ARRIVES
-AUGUST 17, 2006-
I was in no rush to get to the library and see if I had won or not. Oddly, I kind of put the whole thing to the back of my mind. One part of me felt “My max was so high, there’s no doubt I won” while another part felt “Don’t get your hopes up, some crazier fanatic came by in the last four seconds…”
When I got to the library that day it was roughly 5 PM. I went to my email. Here we go…
GOD BLESS AUCTIONSTEALER –I won! No one placed a bid in the last minute. UNBELIEVABLE!
Best of all, I won it for real cheap too! My bid didn’t reach the seller’s reserve, but she decided to sell it to me for a bit more than my winning bid. The whole ordeal was nothing short of incredible. Something I can genuinely call “once in a lifetime.”
AUCTION STATS
Thursday, August 17, 2006 — within seven months, I procured my HOLY GRAIL. Not bad, considering it took me over two YEARS to get my hands on Sega Saturn Magazine.
Here are some auction stats.
I was the 13th bid of the auction
The guy I beat out, his maximum was GBP 48.79
My winning bid did not meet her reserve, but she sold it to me for GBP 55
GBP 55 equated, at the time, to roughly US $104.32
My max was GBP 88.88 …. or US $168.11
The 3rd highest bidder had a ridiculously low GBP 24.50 max
Why is the last one important? Had the GBP 48.79 guy NOT come along, I would have won at around GBP 25.50. If that were the case, would the seller have agreed to sell it for GBP 30? Doubt it. Maybe when she saw I won at 50 GBP, instead of relisting it she said “What the hell”and gave it to me for55.
In other words, if it weren’t for the 2nd highest bidder, who knows what would have happen with the reserve thing and all? She might have relisted it and I’d have to play the whole game again! Then maybe the bidders I outbidded would re-adjust their bidding strategy, etc. Lots of crazy scenarios that I’m glad is a moot point!
MORE AUCTION TID-BITS
There were four different bidders in all, me included
13 total bids
Auction went into the last day with zero bids
The 3 guys bidded multiple times in the last 15 hours or so, each outbidding the other
Lucky for me, they didn’t understand the power of smart sniping
12 bids between 3 guys before AuctionStealer input my bid — the 13th bid of the auction
AuctionStealer helped me snipe it with 11 seconds to go, my 1st and only bid
It’s ruthless, but that’s eBay for ya.
TOTAL DAMAGE
I paid Rachel $183.19 the very next day. Shipping surprisingly didn’t come out to cost an arm and leg — she only charged me 40 GBP. 183 dollars for 45 issues, including the hard-to-find 1993 GOLD issue? Not bad at all! Considering I paid $225 for 29 Sega Saturn Magazine issues in late 2003, this was a real bargain. It came out to be only about four dollars an issue (!)
FINAL AUCTION CRAZINESS
Probably the most important thing why the auction ended so cheaply… her auction title was:
SUPER PLAY MAGAZINES ISSUE 1-45 (MISSING ISSUE 9)
I owe lots of thanks to issue 9. Had she own that issue, maybe her title would have been:
SUPER PLAY MAGAZINES ISSUE 1-45 SNES
The “SNES” part would definitely would have led to more auction views and “Hmmm, wow, I didn’t know such a thing existed! I’ll bid and try to win it!” type of mentality. Instead, it was left only to those who were actively typing in “Super Play Magazine” on eBay. Back in 2006, Super Play wasn’t nearly as popular as it would become years later within diehard SNES circles. So, thank you issue number nine
Last but not least… after I shared this story on a message board, one guy actually told me the following…
—
WOW! Believe it or not, I actually had that auction on my watch list, and I was going to bid an INSANE amount of money on it. It could have gotten UGLY. However, I simply forgot what time it was ending, and I missed out! Though, after reading your incredible tale, I must say I’m glad you won ‘em
—
Wow! I got so incredibly lucky with this whole shebang that I can’t believe it. It only drives the point home that there are certain “scores” in one’s collecting life that truly stand out, and stand the test of time. For me, the Super Play snag is definitely it.
48 HOURS AFTER THE AUCTION WIN
-AUGUST 19, 2006-
Ironically, James informed me some “bad news” on this day. Reading his message, I was smiling, knowing my willingness to think outside the box made his bad news a moot point.
—
I’ve got some bad news buddy. I’ve been talking to various couriers (4 different ones up until now) and it is just too expensive to ship these mags to you. The cheapest I can get quoted is £150 which is over $280 dollars and that doesn’t even include insurance!
Even shipping the slowest method (6 to 8 weeks without insurance) is $250.
I just don’t have that sort of money spare at the moment and it is just too much. I’ve tried every combination of normal shipping: by sea, air, specialist courier. I’ve even tried breaking it down to 5 magazine bundles but no joy.
I’m not sure what to do though as I feel bad about this (especially with your patience over this prolonged trade).
Let me know your thoughts. I’m really sorry about this.
—
Imagine had I lost the auction. Imagine if I was complacent and never bothered to look for them on eBay. Let this be a lesson to all: BE PROACTIVE! Take matters into your own hands rather than sitting idly by.
I excitedly replied to James telling him about my win. This also cancelled our trade… I now had Taromaru to auction! I made $147 off it (the manual was missing the cover thus why it went for so “cheap”). $90 of that went to fund the incredibly rare and expensive Super Famicom import, Rendering Render: R2.
The last transaction I ever had with James
Yet I still wanted to do a trade with James. After all, I had EGM #200 and he had Super Play #9 (the auction was 1-45, but #9 missing). How nicely did that work out! Super Play 9 arrived in late August. It was my first experience of the magazine, and it blew me away. Itwasthe Sega Saturn Magazine equivalent for the SNES. And I could hardly wait to read the rest.
MEANWHILE… TROUBLE BACK ON THE FARM
I hadn’t heard back from Rachel yet… eventually she emailed me, “Sorry I didn’t ship the mags til September 2nd.”
I was a bit peeved. I paid 8/18, she didn’t send til 9/2 and didn’t tell me earlier!? It’ll be here sooner or later, I thought. While her feedback was 100%… the number was only 19. Not exactly the most comforting number in the world. Gotta think positive, though, I kept telling myself.
ONE MONTH LATER — NOTHING TO SHOW FOR
-SEPTEMBER 19, 2006-
Sent her an email. Never got a reply. Another unanswered email, and another, and another. I was starting to fear the worst. Maybe this whole thing was simply too good to be true.
PAYPAL WARNING
-SEPTEMBER 24, 2006-
I emailed telling her in advance I’d file a dispute with Paypal on 9/30… the last day for me to do so (45-day window from August 17). I told her it was nothing personal, but only wise for anyone in my shoes to do so.
RACH’S REPLY
-SEPTEMBER 26, 2006-
She emailed back and understood my position. Said she’ll check with her post office to confirm when the package was shipped. It had been only her 2nd email, and I felt better after this. All I ask for is keeping an open line of communication.
DISPUTE FILED
-SEPTEMBER 30, 2006-
No Super Play yet, so I filed the dispute. By October 20 if they do not arrive, I’d be forced to escalate the dispute to a claim, due to the 20 day window period. Silence on Rachel’s end.
ALMOST TWO MONTHS AND NOTHING
-OCTOBER 13, 2006-
I finally hear back from her on this day.
—
Hi, I have been to the post office and had them look at the records. They say because of an admin issue the mags did not leave there post office until the 19th of sept.
I have gone mad at them and have asked what can be done. They say that nothing can be done because I did not have it tracked.
I have asked them what sort of time are we looking at and they have said 4 to 5 weeks from the sent date which is now the 19th of sept.
So we are looking at the 16th/17th of October which I am very sorry about, as I said I did have a right go at them for this but all they could do was say sorry.
Once again I am so sorry about the delay.
Please let me know on the 16th/17th if you have had the mags.
Thanks in advance.
—
I was very upset. No tracking number, admin issue, etc. It all spelled doom to me.
Being proactive again I PM’ed James to update him, asking if he’d be willing to send me his friend’s issues, provided I pay the insane $300 something shipping. He said he’d look into it. At this point, I was so desperate to get my hands on a SUPER PLAY set that I didn’t care HOW!
DISPUTE ESCALATED TO A CLAIM
-OCTOBER 20, 2006-
Still no Super Play. On this day I was forced to escalate the dispute into a claim so PayPal could look into it and hopefully refund me $183.
At this point I wasn’t surprised, just frustrated. Though I wanted my money back if worst came to worst — I rammed the fact home with Rachel that I rather have the magazines. “Should they arrive in November or later this month I’d gladly refund you whatever PayPal decides to give me back” I’ve always told her.
KEEPING HOPE ALIVE — WINNING ISSUES 46 AND 47
Also on this day I won off eBay the final two issues of Super Play. Number 46 and 47 — keeping hope alive that Rachel would come through and that I would have a complete set numbers 1-47 including the spinoff Super Play Gold 1993 SNES Guide issue.
What took place four days later… was one for the ages…
VINDICATED!
-TUESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2006-
I was filling out an application to graduate studies when I heard the mail truck rumbling. I peered out the window. The mail lady got out and went to the back of the truck. I wasn’t expecting ANY OTHER PACKAGE, so I knew THIS HAD TO BE IT!
She rung the door bell. I opened the door faster than a 5-year-old ripping into a present on Christmas morning.
“Can you help me carry this big box? It’s too heavy and I have a bad back,” she said.
It was then and there I knew that the moment… which I waited about nine months for, with so many twists, turns and heartbreaks… had finally come.
Of course, there still had to be a little drama.
It’d only be fitting, you see.
“RECEIVED IN DAMAGED CONDITION”
… was stamped on the box. My heart stopped.
The only question left… how bad was it?
“Wait, it came in damaged condition?”
“I’m sorry, it did. The box was split open. They had to tape it back up, as you can see.”
“Everything is intact, though, right?”
“Oh sure. We can’t take anything…”Her voice trailed off.
And here I’m thinking, “Oh right, sure lady! I’ve heard the horror stories; you don’t gotta play me for a fool!”
But I kept my cool, signed the pink slip and brought the box inside for inspection. How bad was it? I was almost too scared to find out…
WHEW!
Amazingly, everything was intact and in better condition than I thought. The magazines were MINT! No missing pages, no cut-outs; that’s probably the hardest thing to find with old magazines since so many people take such bad care of them. I was lucky, much like with Sega Saturn Magazine, that the previous owner kept them in immaculate condition.
I went to Paypal and happily cancelled the claim. Rachel was honest after all. The box stated it was shipped September 19, as she stated earlier, and not the 2nd.
The nine-plus months of agony had a very happy ending.
I loved how they highlighted lesser known SNES imports
Super Play is an awesome magazine. I love retro magazines — I dig the whole archive thing. It’s truly a diehard SNES fan’s companion. Not only is it well written but it focused a ton on the Japanese side of things. They highlighted plenty of Japanese-only games and reviewed even the obscure ones like Syonen Ashibe. At that time (October 2006) I recently started an “Obscure Super Famicom Impressions” thread that was quickly picking up steam and growing in popularity. I thought I was doing something not many before me did — shining the spotlight on all these lesser known Super Famicom imports. So it blew my mind to see Super Play had done it 13 years before (1993).
The magazines also came with their special bindersToo gorgeous for words. Talk about geeking out!
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT TIMING…
After sharing my story on a gaming forum, one guy posted he was watching the same auction. He was going to bid an astronomical amount but he simply forgot what time it ended! Had he remembered, this “Holy Grail” might not even be in my collection today, or at the very least, I would have paid a LOT more. It made me appreciate my Super Play win even more. So much of life is being in the right place at the right time!
ON THE HOUSE???
The funny thing is, people ask me when the box arrived what did the postage state. The reason they asked was they didn’t understand how Rachel charged 40 GBP when James claimed it would be far too expensive to ship, at around US $280… so a few folks mentioned, “It doesn’t quite add up.”
She charged me only 40 GBP for shipping, so 55 (winning bid) plus 40 (S&H on her terms) was 95 GBP total, or about $183.19 US at the time. Well… I checked the box after people asked me what the shipping really was… it was….
86 GBP.
So I guess she only made 9 GBP profit? Wow. She never asked me to repay her or even brought it up. I guess after all the drama I went through, it was on the house.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
The SNES Bible? Pretty damn close, if you ask me
I’m a proud owner of the complete SUPER PLAY legacy. I consider this a personal Holy Grail in many ways. I can’t believe what this blasted publication made me endure, but honestly, in the end it was all worth it. It’s an incredible magazine I’m lucky enough to have acquired for so cheap and in such mint condition. Being a diehard SNES fan, this is easily the crowned jewel of my collection. I love my game collection, sure, but man, there’s nothing quite like SUPER PLAY. One of my favorite things to do is to pick a game off my shelf, play it for the very first time, form my own impressions and THEN check out what the ole Super Play boys thought of said game. I love comparing my thoughts to that of theirs — it’s all part of the fun.
As for James, we haven’t spoke since late October 2006. In 2007, the Sega board we used to post at went under some changes and I don’t think he even re-registered. He was slipping away toward the end of the old board anyway. The last word he had with me, he congratulated me on finally receiving the magazines. Wherever he is out there, I hope he’s doing well.
As for Rachel, after I cancelled the claim I left her positive feedback. Likewise. She apologized and told me the magazines belonged to her husband of many years. He obviously took very excellent care of them which I greatly appreciate.
It blows my mind that I’m coming up on the 10 year anniversary since these issues arrived — October 24, 2016. I look back with a real deep fondness. I remember reading all 48 Super Play issues cover to cover from Halloween through Christmas that year of 2006. It was a truly glorious time and I’m very nostalgic looking back at that time. It also coincided with my ongoing Obscure Super Famicom Impressions topic that I posted at several gaming boards, which led to the birth or RVGFanatic.com in January of 2007. It’s nuts to think it’s almost been 10 bloody years. Super Play Magazine has obviously grown in popularity and stature since 2006. It’s no longer obscure like it once was, and as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find these vintage issues for a relatively good price and in solid condition. It makes me all the more grateful for such an epic eBay win nearly 10 years ago.
10 years later and I still occasionally read Super Play from time to time. I especially like to read them in the late Fall and early Winter seasons, as it takes me right back to late 2006 each and every single time. Shoot, all this talk of Super Play makes me want to delve right back in. Excuse me — I’ve got some reading to do now…
Pub: Williams | Dev: Sculptured Software | 9.1.95 | 16 MEGS + Super FX2
By September 1995, the SNES was quickly entering the final stages of its life. Although game quality was at an all-time high in terms of what companies could now do with the system, it’s a given that every 4-5 years the new wave of next gen gaming takes over, and the older models quietly fade out in the background. This however did not stop the unlikely conversion of PC smash hit, DOOM. And on the first of September 1995, SNES owners had their own version of Doomsday.
MY MEMORIES OF DOOM 1993-PRESENT
Doom changed the very landscape of gaming
I consider the early-mid 1990s as a very special time. Not only was I in the thick of my childhood, but those years cranked out some of the most iconic and groundbreaking video games around. While the whole Street Fighter II craze was sweeping the nation, in December 1993 a little violent game by the name of DOOM came out and took the nation by storm. Playing as a marine battling a horde of zombie soldiers and demons, Doom was the most intense action game of its day. It made your heart beat a little faster. Palms perspired. Those growls you hear around the corner… that ammo count dipping dangerously low… Doom produced an adrenaline kick like no other. Who could ever forget the first time you experienced Doom? It’s one of those things that you carry with you for life. Kind of like the first time you came across a Playboy Magazine. Doom was a transcendent gaming experience that turned boys into men and soiled more than a few underwears over 20 years ago. It is revered fondly for a good reason.
THE GOOD
One of the most anticipated sequels of the ’90s!
December 1994. One year after the epic release of Doom, we were given the sequel, Doom II. It was only a matter of time. While the clones rushed in and out the door (and backdoor, for that matter), the original king stood mighty, proud and tall and victorious over all comers. But now it was time for round two. A game with more weapons, monsters and mayhem. It did not disappoint! Doom II was a worthy sequel indeed and although my brother and I didn’t own it, we definitely found ways to experience it. Because it was simply something you just had to. No ifs, ands or buts here. Doom II was the SHIT.
Games weren’t cool in the mid ’90s but Doom II was
How badass was Doom II? So badass that I put it on my 7th grade “All About Me” poster. I somehow found this pic here on a computer store ad, mighta been Comp USA (damn there goes a name from the past) or Fry’s Electronic. Cut it out and pasted it on my poster to show the whole 7th grade world. At that time gaming wasn’t considered cool, much. But not Doom II. Doom II broke barriers. You were proud to declare to the entire universe of its greatness. Keep in mind gaming in 1995 was a lot less mainstream and “accepted” than it is in today’s society.
THE BAD
It’s a day I still vividly recall… even 20+ years later
A few weeks before Doom II came out, my world changed forever. It was mid-November 1994. It was a cold and dreary, foggy Monday morning. I remember the fog being so thick I could barely see past my first neighbor’s house. I was walking to school with my good old best friend Nelson, and it was another week in the ol’ neighborhood. Little did I know, leaving my house that morning, that when I would return later that day, my innocence would be lost, ripped and shattered.
Bad days always seem to start out innocently enough
2:25 PM. The school bell rang and Nelson and I rushed out. We walked home laughing and talking up a storm, crunching the autumn leaves on the gavel beneath our shoes. We got to the fork where he went left and I went right. We bid farewell and I vividly remember to this very day how much I couldn’t wait to get home from school just so I could play Doom for the 1,000th time. Shoot, I was already daydreaming about firing the rocket launcher on the two Barons of Hell on the Phobos Anomaly map. Nothing was better than coming home from a long school day, tossing your backpack off, and wading over to the computer room where your most favorite video games resided. And I was deep in the middle of my daydreaming when I turned the corner and had the wind knocked out of me. There my house lied in the distance, with a police car parked in the driveway, and two policemen conversing with my mom. I ran over and my mom quickly embraced me, hugging me harder than she ever had in years, with tears streaming down her face. My eyes widened in terror when I looked straight ahead from the driveway, saw the front door wide open, and realized the mess that laid before us. We were robbed. They took nearly everything, including the computer and Doom. That day I didn’t just lose material things. That day I lost a large chunk of my innocence
THE UGLY
My brother occasionally did something really nice
September 1995. As some readers may recall from my Memories of Renting article, back in the day I did 90-95% of the game renting, and most of those times that I did, I was forced by my older brother to rent the titles HE liked. Well, in September of ’95 my bro surprised me one weekend when he left the house and came back with SNES Doom. He thought I would be happy but I was actually pissed. Seeing it, although it did have a cool red shell case, only reminded me of that fateful day where I lost my innocence. After playing it I was DISGUSTED with it. I couldn’t help but constantly compare it to its PC original. And under those given circumstances, I hated the SNES version with a burning passion. So much that I vehemently refused to play it for the rest of the weekend that we had the rental copy. My bro never mentioned it, but I think he was a little hurt by it. He made a nice gesture, but instead of gratitude I showed him contempt and annoyance. And that was the last game I can ever recall him renting for me…
THE SCORE
At the time I thought it was the greatest score EVER
December 14, 1996. Two full years after the initial release of Doom II, my dad took me to Staples one night. Yeah, some dads take their kids to Disneyland. Other parents take their kids to Universal Studios. Mine took me to friggin’ Staples. Hey, I’ll give the old man credit. Because on this night I saw a deal that blew my mind. There it was, Doom II, for only $4.97. I rubbed my eyes not once, not twice but trice. I thought maybe there was a 2 in front, or at least, surely a 1. But just $4.97?!?! I grabbed the box, flipped it over and read front and back 10 times over. Was this shareware? Was this April Fools? No, you fool, I thought to myself. It’s December 14, damnit. Holy shit. It was the real deal AND for a real deal. I snatched it up quicker than OJ Simpson driving away in his Bronco, and of course, at less than the cost of a #1 Big Mac combo meal, there was no way my pops could deny me this one. Maybe the old man knew. My brother and I always wanted Doom II two years ago, but we never got it. Now we were vindicated. When I got home and my bro saw the receipt, he just about fell over. I have kept the receipt all these years later. Thing of beauty when an awesome deal drops unexpectedly into your lap. Look at that up there. “YOU SAVED $25.02″ — damn sick! $5.36 for Doom II in 1996? Hey, it happened. Moral of the story… screw Disneyland. Next time I’m taking my kids to motherfukken STAPLES, bitch.
THE SURPRISE
Years later, I was greeted by an old friend…
In 1999, after being out of the gaming scene for a year or two, I came back STRONG with the Sega Saturn (check out the previous blog post if you don’t believe me). But it wasn’t until 2001 that I became a diehard Saturn fanatic. I amassed a huge collection, and by 2005 was pretty much done with my collecting. Then I took a chance on the Japanese version of Saturn Doom, seeing as how it was released months AFTER the US reject. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, the frame rate on the Japanese version would be improved. And it was! I recall fondly making usenet posts way back in the day (late ’90s to mid 2000s) on the old rec.video.sega newsgroup, spreading the news that the Japanese version was superior. Hell, I even created a YouTube account way back in December 2005 (yeah, when YouTube was just in its infancy) just to show off how improved the Japanese version’s frame rate was, compared to the lame version we received in the US. It was a discovery that no one had spoken of on the internet yet, and it felt like I was breaking some news there. I love the feeling of spreading obscure gaming knowledge. Man, those were the days… it’s amazing how different the internet has become in the last 10 years, but I digress.
THE REDEMPTION
It was a homecoming for me in more ways than one
On January 17, 2006, I returned to the SNES scene. I was a man on a mission. I was now a young adult longing for my childhood and to discover “new” gems I missed out on. I bought most of my wanted games in 2006; Doom was never on the original want list. I had some… ahem… sour memories of it you understand, and so never wanted to give it another shot. But finally, in 2010, I said what the hell. It’s time to face old demons [Well played for once -Ed.] and see what’s what. So I bought Doom, replayed it and did so this time with a clear open mind. And I was surprised to find out that I actually enjoyed it a good bit. I had a few four hour marathons with it where I tried my damndest to beat all of the 22 levels in one sitting (because they gave you no other choice). I’ll be damned. My opinion of SNES Doom did a complete 180. Taking it for what it is, I can’t help but marvel a bit at the fact that it’s even up and running on my Super Nintendo. It captures the essence and spirit of the original Doom pretty damn nicely, and that’s the bottom line. In many ways, I felt like I had come full circle with not only the SNES but with Doom as well.
DOOMSDAY
I refused to believe Doom could run on the SNES…
Thankfully, by late 1995 the SNES’ kid friendly mantra of no blood had shifted. Games like Mortal Kombat II, released about one year prior, broke the mold. Doom without its grisly gore just wouldn’t be the same. The SNES port keeps the bloody mayhem intact at the very least. Because when you think of Doom, you instantly think of the carnage. Oh and…
THE MONSTERS
FORMER SOLDIER: At one time you swapped war stories with this guy. Now he’s nothing more than a rotting, pistol-toting maggot. So waste this sucker without remorse. He stopped being your buddy a long time ago…
FORMER SERGEANT: Similar to above, but with more piss and vinegar. Packing a heavy duty shotgun, you best take these bald baddies out fast or they’ll do more than pelt you. Aim carefully, because if you miss that means you’re likely eating some damage. You need every last health point!
IMP: When you think of imps, you might think of a small hideously cute thing that is sneaky and mischievous. Think again! This bastard heaves fireballs down your throat and will claw the hell out of you up close. It’s time to find a shotgun.
DEMON: Yes, finally, an enemy with no long range weapon. That’s the good news. The bad news? It moves faster than you might think, and if it bites you, it’s gonna HURT. A LOT. The chainsaw works well on these bad boy, and saves the ammo.
CACODEMON: This big red bastard takes a lot of bullets to go down. It’s time to upgrade from the shotgun if you haven’t already. Cacodemons make a loud, nasty screech when they first see you or hear of your presence. They launch fireballs that pack a more potent punch than the imp’s. A chaingun works well since the rapid firing bullets prevent this vile creature from sprouting fireballs off at your head.
LOST SOUL: Maybe the Doom makers were fans of Ghost Rider? It flies around. It screams. It scorches. And it dies with a few well-placed shotgun shells.
BARON OF HELL: Ah, here’s the man. Er, demon, rather, I suppose. Deman? Sorry. I can write and reminisce about this goat-legged horned menace all day long. His debut at the end of Episode 1 has got to rank in the top 10 of all time as far as boss entrances go. It’s an image that has been burned into my retina for over 20 years now. There was nothing like staring at the two pods knowing hell is coming.
CYBERDEMON: Remember the first time you ever laid eyes on this bastard? You thought the Barons of Hell were bad news. This guy is basically death on two legs. From his heavy stomps to his lightning-quick rockets coming straight for your head, the Cyberdemon is the stuff nightmares are made of. Before Resident Evil had the Tyrant, Doom had the Cyberdemon. He was a hulking weapon of mass destruction. ProTip: Shoot ’til it dies.
THE SPIDER MASTERMIND: Ever since I was a kid, I hated spiders. Just hate the buggers. They make my skin crawl. So when I first came across the Spider Mastermind, I probably screamed like a little girl [I have no doubt you did -Ed.]. Thank goodness for small favors — at least ol’ Spidey wields a chaingun and not the plasma gun. That’s one big motherfukken spider, indeed.
With such deadly demons and maniacal monsters milling about the hellhole, you’re going to need more than quick feet and wit to survive this apocalypse. You’re gonna need top-of-the-line artillery to give you even a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning. Which brings us to…
THE WEAPONS
You start the game out with your fist and a standard military-issue pistol. You better find some upgrades quickly or you’ll become dinner even quicker!
CHAINSAW: Anyone who has ever seen the Texas Chainsaw Massacre will smile at the inclusion of this death instrument. Perfect for confined areas, the chainsaw will bring out the Leatherface in you. The only bad thing is it doesn’t actually slice demons in two. Guess you can’t have it all.
SHOTGUN: One of the most iconic and memorable weapons in video gaming history. Blowing away zombie soldiers and imps with the shotgun was immensely satisfying. From the sound effect to the reloading animation, the shotgun delivers the good.
CHAINGUN: Take your pistol’s puny bullets, and pump them out rapid fire, and suddenly you’ve got a formidable weapon of choice. Pull the trigger and watch the monsters of Hell do one hell of a dance number.
ROCKET LAUNCHER: Pure destruction. A specialty weapon in every respect of the word, this can either make your day, or make your grave. Few things rival the sheer joy of watching demons explode into a quivering bloody mess. Just make sure you’re not standing nearby!
PLASMA GUN: The “perfect” weapon. The plasma gun has it all: speed, strength and style. As an added bonus, it’s just strong enough to potentially blow the weaker enemies into tiny bloody bits — making this the preferred weapon of Doom 90% of the time.
THE BFG 9000: Here is the mother of all shooting game guns.. the BIG FUCKIN’ GUN. Excuse my language, but with a weapon this destructive, it simply cannot be censored or contained. It eats up a lot of ammo, but fire this baby and admire how it can take out an entire room of demons. Besides, any gun that can kill a Baron of Hell in one shot is definitely badass.
KNEE-DEEP IN THE DEAD
Much was sacrificed, but it’s still an admirable effortYeah, things get pixelated but what do you expect?The SNES port does a nice job capturing the essenceThe nooks and crannies made me feel uneasy…Even to this day, this has me on the edge of my seatIt adds a lot to the game’s tense atmosphereNo aiming up or down. If you can see it you can kill itIt never gets old blasting an imp up closeToxic barrels only added to the fun and chaosNice way to let off some steam after a long hard day!Once I turned around and a demon bit on my facePinky has gotten all of us at one point or anotherThey sure brighten up your dayBefore…… and afterRemember experiencing this for the first time?You just had to be there in 1993. Good timesWho didn’t stop to admire their handiwork for a bit?[Ya know… I was gonna say something but naaah -Ed.]This must be Hell’s version of the green mile…Seeing this back in ’93 made me crap my pants!Its design, its roar… thanks for the nightmaresYou know who. Love the Baron’s death animationThe ending of Episode 1 never failed to creep me out
THE SHORES OF HELL
Oh I sure hope you have more than a lowly pistol…Including an upside down cross — yikes!Indeed, the source of many jump scares over the yearsIt’s a rush to pump lead into a room full of monstersLittle details like this made Doom a memorable affairYou know it’s bad when Barons appear regularlyYou’re gonna need it, soldier
“I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE, I REALLY THINK SO!”
Get this version instead if you can
Years ago I happened to wonder whether the Japanese version of SNES Doom was any different than its US counterpart. The reasons being twofold. Number one: I recall fondly discovering that the Japanese version of Sega Saturn Doom was released later than its US version and had an improved frame rate. What really hampers SNES Doom in my opinion is the complete lack of a password or save system. At least Wolfenstein 3D gave us passwords level to level. That increases the likelihood that I’ll tinker with a game long after I’ve finished it. It’s always fun to go back to a random level and muck around, after all. Well, SNES Doom afforded you no such luxury. You had to beat the game in one sitting. All 22 levels. That’s a 3-5 hour task for most. It’s just too much. So when I found out the Japanese version of SNES Doom was released in March 1996, a full six months after the US release, I became real curious. Scouring the net for information, I read that the Japanese version does indeed have some noteworthy differences compared to the American version — making the Japanese version superior. Unfortunately, the frame rate remains much the same, but there were still some pretty cool differences. Here, let’s take a closer look at the two versions.
Choice of difficulty level!US versionJapanese version
In a nutshell, the main difference between the Japanese and North American version is that the NA port restricts which episode you can start off in. Sure, you can start off in The Shores of Hell or Inferno on the NA port, but the game punishes you by forcing you to select Ultra Violence or Nightmare. And since you start off an episode with only your bare hands and a pistol, it’s essentially a suicide mission. You might as well forget about even trying.
The Japanese version, on the other hand, allows you to start on the last episode even on the easiest difficulty level (I’m Too Young To Die). Although it’s still lacking a save or password system, at least it helps to SOMEWHAT mitigate this glaring flaw of having to beat all 22 levels in one sitting. For this fact alone, the Japanese version is the one to get for diehard SNES fans who simply must have Doom in their 16-bit game library.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Doom has etched its mark in gaming lore. I love it still
PC Doom needs no backing. Its place in gaming history has long been cemented, and it’ll be fondly remembered long after all of us are gone. But how did the Super Nintendo port fare? For the most part, people either backed it or they hated it. Gamers either cited the port as an incredible 16-bit effort and a small miracle, or bashed it, questioning the reasoning behind even bringing this over to the SNES as late in its lifespan as it did. EGM was in the latter camp, as they gave it mediocre scores of 5, 5, 5.5, and 6. GameFan was plenty more generous and impressed, rating it 89, 92 and 95%. Super Play Magazine scored it 92%and ranked it as the 17th best SNES game in their Top 100 Best SNES Games list. SNES Doom was one of those love or hate affairs. You either get it for what it is, or hate it for what it isn’t.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
A quintessential first person shooter for the ages
As I sit here thinking of the times I’ve had with DOOM over the years, both good and bad, I can’t help but just smile. Doomblazed an amazing trail. It was the first game that really made me feel like I was the character himself. It was an intense, gripping and unrivaled experience. Doom always had me on the edge of my seat. The SNES version is one that I have grown to appreciate and genuinely like as time has gone on. When I first played it in ’95 I thought it was a steaming pile of horse crap. But when I revisited it years later as a young adult, I realized it’s no small programming feat, and when viewed entirely on its own, it’s actually quite good. It captures the spirit and essence of Doom nicely, and that’s what ultimately matters. Graphics took a hit, naturally, but are still serviceable. On the bright side, the music is stellar! It really adds to the tense atmosphere of the game.
The SNES port captures Doom‘s bleeding heart
Other than the annoying few instances where you creep along a wall and get “stuck” to it, the game plays surprisingly well. It’s by no means the definitive version of Doom, but for the SNES it’s impressive. There seems to be two camps: those who enjoy SNES Doom, and those who hate it. It depends on whether you look at it for what it is, or if you look at it for what it isn’t. When I first played the SNES version in 1995, I was looking at everything it wasn’t, compared to the original PC king. But when I replayed it some 15 years later, I did so consciously from a posture of “Let’s see what it does do well rather than what it doesn’t.” And I found myself pleasantly surprised when approaching it from that angle. While I still prefer the SNES port of Wolfenstein 3D (it plays a bit more smoothly), I genuinely feel that this port of Doom doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Although I understand where the critics are coming from, I like to view it from this perspective: is Doom a quality Super Nintendo game or not? My answer to that is a resounding yes. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go blast some demon ass to Kingdom Come!
Graphics: 7 Sound: 9 Gameplay: 8.5 Longevity: 7
Overall: 8.5 Double Silver Award
Nothing like playing Doom late at night in the dark…
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