Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 has something of a semi-cult following. An early first generation SNES game, it thrilled players with its engrossing customization and ridiculously fun Ultra Plays. These plays, when activated, give you certain special powers. For example, baseballs turn into floating leaves or scorching meteors. Culture Brain wasn’t shy to think (way) outside the box and they brought a certain level of fun to the genre like no one had done before. It’s a shame, then, that the sequel never saw the light of day here in North America. Released on July 28, 1994, Super Ultra Baseball 2 takes everything you loved about Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 and ups the ante.
BIGGER AND BEEFIER
Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 looks a bit crude in places. I mean, there’s still a certain level of charm to the rudimentary graphics but no one will ever say that it’s pleasing to the eye. Super Ultra Baseball 2, on the other hand, legitimately looks like a port of an arcade baseball title! Also, new little details like the sweat beads bouncing off a nervous batter’s forehead brings a whole new sense of life to the game. Of course graphics aren’t the be-all, end-all of a video game, but it’s nice when they’re nice! Keep in mind though — the first game was released in Japan on July 12, 1991, so the sequel that came out three years later is bound to look that much better.
Lovely little intro opens us up. You still get 18 teams to pick from, just like in the first game. And just like the first one, there are six Ultra League teams capable of utilizing the Ultra Plays.
Select from six stadiums and then if applicable, choose how many Ultra Play points you wish to have. You can go as low as 50 or as high as infinite.
Presentation is on point. Love the way it looks, especially when you have runners at the corners. One of the best looking SNES baseball games around!
Those wacky and nutty Ultra Plays are back and better looking than ever.
Tinkering with all the Ultra Plays is half the fun!
Brings new meaning to “He’s got ELECTRIC stuff.”
Pitchers had their fun — now it’s time for the batters. The fan favorite Missile Hit is back and still functions the same. Get the hell outta its way!
Another fan favorite, the Bomb returns to terrorize defenders.
Fielding and running feels a bit smoother than the original.
Baseball players often describe being “in the zone” as seeing the ball like it’s the size of a beach ball. This must be what they’re talking about…
Seriously, does it get any cooler than this?
BUT IS IT BETTER?
Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 or Super Ultra Baseball 2? It really is a tough call. To answer the question of is it better… my answer would have to be yes and no. Graphically, it’s not even close (no surprise there). The fielding is a bit smoother and I’d say SUB 2 plays a bit better than its predecessor.
However, Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 has it beat in two categories: stadium “life” and music. SUB 2 isn’t bad sounding or anything but the renditions were better in the original. Listen to the two and there’s really no comparison. By stadium “life” I mean just look at the first picture here. The first game had some quirky ballparks that added to the charm of the game, such as the field with a tiny white fence that makes hitting home runs a lot easier. Although there are still six stadiums in SUB 2, they all sort of feel the same and there are no interesting quirks with any of them, really. It feels slightly “soulless” if you get my drift. I also even miss the way the first game would zoom in after a home run.
Summary: the first game wins in music and stadium variety. The sequel wins in graphics and gameplay. If only Culture Brain could have combined the two games it would have been the perfect baseball game.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
You can’t go wrong with either game. If you love Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 then you’ll like this as well. It’s hard to pick but if I were forced to, as of right now I would give the slight edge to the first game. Regardless, Super Ultra Baseball 2 is a damn fine sequel that’s sure to make any fan of the first game proud. The wacky Ultra Plays make this an appealing title that even non-baseball fans can enjoy.
Each game in this series brings different pros and cons to the table. Both complement each other well and it’s nice to own both with the choice to play whichever one you’re in the mood for. Super Ultra Baseball 2 has more of that modern flair with all the Ultra Plays you love from the original. But Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 has that classic nostalgic early first generation SNES charm to it. Both games are fun as hell and sure to entertain baseball gamers for many more summers to come. Not to mention those cold December nights where real life baseball is well into its offseason. So grab your mitt, er, SNES controller, and play ball!
Every year when summer rolls along I can’t help but grow nostalgic for the 16-bit baseball games of my youth. Summer and baseball just go together, and that includes baseball video games. While I don’t recall playing Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 back in the ’90s, I do remember wondering about it and wishing I could have played it. It’s a game that has gone on to achieve something of a semi-cult status in diehard SNES circles. After playing it myself, it’s easy to see why.
HOMECOMING
January 26, 2006. I remember it like it was yesterday. I just got back into all things Super Nintendo (January 17, 2006) and on that Thursday night I decided to revisit my childhood town. It marked 10 years since I moved from my childhood home. 10 years. I wanted to swing by the old crib and also check out the Game Crazy inside my childhood Hollywood Video, which still stood at the time. Being less than two weeks into my SNES resurrection and having a want list of over 200 games meant there was a good chance I was going to find at least one game to add to my ever growing collection.
My childhood Hollywood Video — in the flesh!
Early 2006 was a good time to get back into the SNES scene. Prices had yet to explode and real life stores like Game Crazy (a chain tucked inside Hollywood Video locations) actually carried a decent selection of SNES games. So many times as a kid my dad would take me to this very Hollywood Video location and I would browse the horror section endlessly as well as the 16-bit rentals. It was a joy to be able to pick up the various boxes to examine up close, admiring the art work on the front and reading the description on the back of the boxes. It’s a shame kids nowadays don’t get to experience that.
That fine evening I bought Art of Fighting, Clay Fighter, Mortal Kombat II and Super Baseball Simulator 1.000. It was a perfect mix of childhood favorites and curiosities. Clay Fighter was a guilty pleasure while MK II was legit one of my favorite SNES games, period. As for Art of Fighting and Super Baseball Simulator 1.000, those were two games I always wanted to play as a kid but just never did. Now I could. Such is the beauty of retro gaming — the combination of availability and having the disposable income today that you didn’t have 20-25 years ago. It’s the closest thing to a time machine.
Four more games crossed off the ol’ want list. Clay Fighter was free because Game Crazy used to do this Buy 2 Get 1 Free deal for older games. Early 2006 was definitely a glorious time to be buying SNES games. Alas, I digress once more. I couldn’t wait to finally play Super Baseball Simulator 1.000.
Good times
A QUICK HISTORY LESSON
Culture Brain released Baseball Simulator 1.000, known as Choujin Ultra Baseball in Japan, to the NES in March of 1990. It stood out in a crowded genre thanks in part to its Ultra Plays. Ultra Plays give batters and pitchers different temporary power-ups, such as being able to throw a fire ball — a much faster fastball that is also capable of eliminating an opposing batter from the game if it hits them! Needless to say, it was a fun and quirky take on the sport that endeared itself to many NES gamers.
December 1991 saw the release of Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 (known as Super Ultra Baseball in Japan). It brought over the Ultra Plays that made the NES original so memorable. While not everyone’s cup of tea, to me it stands as one of Super Nintendo’s most fun baseball games.
OPTIONS
Select your desired options and then pick from one of 18 teams. The six teams in the Ultra League have the ability to use Ultra Plays.
Playing with an Ultra League team gives you the choice to set how many points you want. Each Ultra Play costs a certain amount of points. You can set it as low as 50 or unlimited. Or turn it off altogether if you’re the purist type.
There are six stadiums to pick from. I love the way the umpire looks. Gives off that “NES baseball” vibe and I mean that in the best way possible. Screw the fancy 3D models of today’s baseball games. Give me charming and cartoony sprites any day of the week!
Zooming in because Mode 7! My personal favorite is Brown Stadium. I love the way it has those tiny little white fences tucked in there to give you a chance at hitting some “cheapie” home runs…
PLAY BALL!
Baseball games from that era suffered a bit from weak arms. Yes, there’s a bit of that here, too. Balls will bounce in the dirt even from short distances. It’s not ideal but it’s not a game killer.
Double plays are pretty smooth and easy to turn. A minor pet peeve: the runner disappears when he’s thrown out rather than running away. But again, just a minor gripe, really. Fielding is fairly good and that’s the most important thing.
Sometimes you appear to be safe but you’re called OUTinstead. Now that can be frustrating. But I like to think of it as the umpire made a bad call, just like you see in real life every now and again. I mean, it’s not too bad but is worth noting.
Umpire didn’t mess up here, though. See? It’s not too bad. Too bad the game doesn’t show you the new score when a run comes in, though. Small touch but goes a long way. But you get used to it.
Speaking of human error, if you turn errors on then that’s exactly what can happen from time to time. D’oh! It does bring an added sense of realism, though.
Seeing a ball you hit bounce off the top of the wall is a bit of a bummer. But in this case at least you still got a chance at driving in a run. The base runner icon in this game is a bit funky. Instead of seeing it progress naturally, it only updates every halfway point or so. It’s a bit jarring the first time you see it.
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
Seeing a ball you hit just barely clear the fence is ultra satisfying.
Smashing home runs never get old. Nice fake hustle there!
Robby smacks the ball DEEP! Well OK, sort of deep. A little bit deep-ish? The center fielder gives chase to cover his teammate out in right who already has a beat on the ball…
Actually, he doesn’t. No, the right fielder can only witness in horror and frustration as the ball innocently sails just past the little white picket fence and lands in the grass clearing in front of the big blue wall. These are the best home runs to hit. It doesn’t get any better than that!
Gratuitous Mode 7 ensues. Quirky and endearing.
Perhaps I spoke too soon… the mammoth MOON SHOT that leaves no doubt is the absolute best. Holy crap look how high up that one went!
ULTRA PLAYS
Majestic home runs are nice but let’s check out the real star of the game here: ULTRA PLAYS. This one turns the ball into a leaf which floats slowly and makes it difficult for the defender to catch. Love the way the batter (and the runner too) flashes. It’s the small details!
Looking for a power boost? Look no farther. This Ultra Play gobbles up 9 points, though.
Super Stroke Simulator 1.000, more like.
Brings new meaning to the term, “That player bombed…”
Missile Hit Ultra Play represents all that is right in gaming. It’s impossible not to smile when you see this (unless it’s happening to you). God bless Culture Brain for thinking outside the box.
Another great laugh. This game is endearing as hell!
Pitchers wanna have fun, too! This one makes the ball disappear during its flight to home plate before reappearing at the very last second. Pretty cruel stuff…
Think of all the great unhittable pitches of our time. Pedro Martinez’s curveball. Nolan Ryan’s fastball. Mariano Rivera’s cutter. Well, with that historical context firmly in mind, add to it the leafball. That’s right, the LEAFBALL. It’s so slow and perplexing that hitters can swing and miss SEVERALtimes before it ever hits the catcher’s mitt!
Pissed off, the batter decides to let it go. Who knows, maybe it’ll fall in for a ball. GOD DAMNIT! 35 MPH strike?! YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN’ ME, MAN!
EDIT AND SCOUT
Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 is extremely customizable. It was a marvel back in 1991 for those who played it back then. You can adjust and alter Ultra Plays to your heart’s content.
Construct your very own team, players and their ratings. Hell, even choose the uniform color! This was groundbreaking stuff back in 1991. And yes, I did max out a certain “Steve” there… [Only in video games -Ed.]
Steve steps up to the plate, batting .750 with 99 HR, and launches one off his bat. Let’s see how far it goes… [Like I said, only in video games -Ed.]
HOLY SHIT! Marvel at how far this moon shot goes.
SUPER BASEBALL SIMULATOR 1.000 2
Unbeknownst to some, Culture Brain released a sequel only in Japan. Super Ultra Baseball 2 came out on July 28, 1994. It beefed up the visuals but kept the same quirky gameplay that made the first one so endearing. It’s a shame it never came out to North America. An English translation of SUB 2 can be found online…
SIMILAR TITLES AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Culture Brain made many SNES baseball games in Japan only. This is Ultra Baseball Jitsumeiban. Released August 28, 1992, it plays pretty much like Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 but it features real professional Japanese baseball players. Still has all the Ultra Plays you know and love but it’s presented in a slightly less cartoonish way.
Obsessed with pumping out baseball games much? Culture Brain was pretty much the Capcom of the baseball genre! Not five months after Super Ultra Baseball 2, Ultra Baseball Jitsumeiban 2 graced the Land of the Rising Sun on December 22, 1994. Yup, little Japanese boys and girls enjoyed themselves a merry baseball Christmas that holiday season. The biggest change? The visuals. I really like their decision to go Super Deformed. There’s something charming about a 16-bit baseball game featuring slightly deformed ball players. Kind of even has a quasi-EarthBound look, eh? Best of all, the Ultra Plays are still here.
Arriving mere days before Halloween 1995 (October 27), Ultra Baseball Jitsumeiban 3 is what you’d get if you took the previous two games in the series and mixed them in a visual blender. It’s not quite Super Deformed as the second game and it’s not as “serious looking” as the first one. But it still has all the Ultra Plays you could want!
Culture Brain released its final Super Famicom baseball title on January 17, 1997. Rather than go with Super Ultra Baseball 3 or Ultra Baseball Jitsumeiban 4, Pro Yakyuu Star was a standalone effort. Although the Ultra Plays were scrapped, from a technical standpoint this is Culture Brain’s best SNES baseball game. Improved fielding after all goes a long way. If you miss the Ultra Plays, you can play any of the five previous games.
Overall, you can’t go wrong with any of these. They’re all fun and charming in their own way. On a side note, a wacky Japanese announcer is introduced in Ultra Baseball Jitsumeiban 2 and reappears from there on out. You know, just to give those games even more of a Japanese punch. There’s some Japanese text to navigate obviously, but nothing you can’t figure out. If you love Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 then you owe it to yourself to check out its direct sequel Super Ultra Baseball 2 at the very least. While you’re at it, it might be worth your while to sample Culture Brain’s other baseball offerings as well.
You baseball whores you!
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Had Taco Bell for breakfast, eh?
Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 is quite the polarizing little game. On the surface it appears to be a crude looking rudimentary baseball game. That alone makes it not everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve seen many retro gamers say that this game was “meh.” Super Play rated it 49%. I can see why someone would give this game such a low mark. But then you have a camp of retro gamers who love this game and swear by it. It’s got sort of a semi-cult following, even. And it’s easy to see why. The kooky Ultra Plays, the insane level of customization and just the overall fun. While it doesn’t come close to topping the almighty Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball, this is easily one of the best SNES baseball games especially if we’re talking strictly North American releases only. I get a kick out of reading stories about how much Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 meant to various people throughout the years. It’s really quite the little nostalgic number for many folks who grew up with the SNES back in the early ’90s. When so many people love a game, you know the developer did something right.
Great job, Culture Brain
CLOSING THOUGHTS
As far as 16-bit baseball games go, Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 is admittedly a bit elementary. The fielding isn’t the best. Players’ arms are way too weak. It’s got more than its fair share of blemishes. However, this is all overlooked (somewhat) because of how much damn fun it is to play. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, as evident with the Ultra Plays. Some are downright comical such as the Missile Hit which sends any poor defender who catches the ball careening hard into the outfield wall, complete with dizzy stars encircling their bruised dome. It’s ridiculous stuff like this that makes it such a joy to play. Not into Ultra Plays? Turn it off, limit it or play as one of the non-Ultra League teams. Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 is as serious or as silly as you decide to make it. That versatility goes a long way! It’s impossible not to crack a grin at some of the zany “Did that really just happen now?” moments. Few baseball games have made me smile more than this one. I only wish I played it back in the ’90s.
The visuals are improved over the NES original obviously but they’re far from great. They’re a bit crude in places but there’s an overall charm to them that works, from the various batting stances to even the way the different stadiums are constructed. It gets the job done. The music gets really upbeat when you have a rally going and is pretty pleasant on the ears, as long as you enjoy that early ’90s baseball video game vibe. I personally do. The gameplay as I mentioned has a few rough spots but it’s perfectly functional and once you get the hang of things you’ll find your groove. The amount of options and customization along with the creativity of the Ultra Plays make this a winner. If you’re tired of baseball games that take themselves way too seriously and you’re looking for something that isn’t afraid to operate outside the box, Super Baseball Simulator 1.000 is a good bet to scratch that itch.
Here at RVGFanatic I relish the opportunity to talk about my favorite SNES games. In particular, I love shining the spotlight on those obscure games that flew under the radar. There are many Super Nintendo games that one could classify as such, but here’s one that is criminally overlooked. It’s so far below the radar that it honestly blows my mind. On the other hand, being a sports game it kind of automatically slips through the cracks. 16-bit sports games aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But I’ve always loved a well made one, and Super Bases Loaded 2 certainly is that. I’m going on the record to calling this the second best baseball game on the SNES, only trailing the epochal Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. Obviously, if you don’t care for 16-bit baseball titles, this may not sway you in any way. But for everyone else, read on and more importantly, play the game yourself and see if it doesn’t become a favorite of yours as well.
MIDSUMMER CLASSIC
Last night Major League Baseball put on its 88th annual All-Star Game.
Robinson Cano hit the go ahead home run to put the American League up 2-1 over the National League in 10 innings.
Baseball has a funny way of repeating history in the most bizarre of ways.
July 11, 1967: Tony Perez hits an extra innings homer to lift the NL past the AL in the All-Star Game by the score of 2-1 in Anaheim.
July 11, 2017: Robinson Cano hits an extra innings homer to lift the AL past the NL in the All-Star Game by the score of 2-1 in Miami.
Not a single extra innings home run in-between those 50 years. Not only that but before Tuesday night’s All-Star Game in Miami, baseball put together a ceremony to honor the game’s Latin American history. Eight Latin-born Hall of Famers threw out first pitches to eight Latin-born All-Stars.
In one group? Tony Perez. In the other group? Robinson Cano. Yup, only in baseball. It’s no wonder so many diehard fans have the same mentality: “It’s hard NOT to get romantic about baseball.”
With summer currently in full swing, I decided it was time to start a 162-game season. Normally I play Ken Griffey but this time I decided to pull a different baseball title off my shelf. Over a decade ago I remember playing Super Bases Loaded 2 briefly and thinking that it was pretty enjoyable. I decided to give it a more thorough look and ended up having an absolute blast with it. Let’s see why it’s one of the most underrated sports games on the entire Super Nintendo.
BUT FIRST, A QUICK HISTORY LESSON
Bases Loaded originated on the 8-bit Nintendo. It went on to have three sequels on the NES. The series was immensely popular, selling more than five million copies worldwide.
Super Bases LoadedSuper Bases Loaded 2Super Bases Loaded 3
Neat little fact #1: Many people associate Jaleco with the Bases Loaded series but it’s actually TOSE who developed all of these games. Jaleco picked up the publishing rights.
Neat little fact #2: Super Bases Loaded 2 is the only game in the series not originally intended to be part of the series. TOSE developed Super Professional Baseball 2 (the actual sequel to Super Bases Loaded) in August 1992. They then developed a stand alone baseball game, Super 3D Baseball, in October of 1993. Jaleco decided to publish Super 3D Baseball here in the States as Super Bases Loaded 2. Interesting that they skipped over Super Professional Baseball 2. This explains the drastic shift in style and look for Super Bases Loaded 2.
Jaleco made the right call to port Super 3D Baseball rather than Super Professional Baseball 2.
PLAY BALL!
Customize the game as you see fit: it is very player-friendly. The first Super Bases Loaded suffered from not having a battery backed memory. This game fixes that. Although the players aren’t real nor the teams, it’s still fun to play.
Select from 18 teams. I personally enjoy using the L.A. Cyclops. Four teams are customizable but more on that later.
Choose from three different stadiums to play in. I wish each team had its own field but the three here all play differently. This one is the biggest and is good for triples galore. Also has the tallest wall of the three.
Standard park with all your modern amenities.
Classic ball park with the shortest distance to straight away center field.
SET YOUR LINEUP
Set your batting order carefully. Players do vary in terms of ability to hit base hits, home runs, swipe bags, throwing power, etc. Unfortunately, there’s no way to discern this other than trial and error. The stats do help sometimes, but it would have been nice to see a rundown exactly. This is my preferred lineup. The green icons indicate players who feel locked in for that particular game. On the flip side, the orange-yellow icon shows players who aren’t feeling so hot. This doesn’t mean they still can’t perform well, but their odds go down. It’s an interesting system that Extra Innings also had.
Players charge the field. It’s a nice little touch.
Speaking of nice touches, I like how batters receive a quick statistical rundown. It’s a classic, clean look that I really dig. You can check your swing and sometimes this leads to cheap infield singles. Nice!
Jaleco proudly declared on the back of the box that this was the first SNES baseball game to employ the DSP chip. Obviously it’s not really 3D but there’s something charming about the way this game looks. Better yet, you can actually steal bases like a thief in the night.
Power of the DSP chip allows the camera to track the baseball in a “3D fashion.” It’s quite smooth and although it’s not the fastest baseball game around, it works well. Nothing beats seeing the ball land just fair. Cyclops go up 1-0 early.
Simon crushes the baseball to right field for a two run jack! It’s pretty cool being able to track the ball for those massive home run swats.
Defense is a make or break aspect of a baseball game. I’m happy to say the defense in Super Bases Loaded 2 is AWESOME. You almost always feel in control and while the infielders move a bit slowly, diving stops work great and it feels so good to gun out a base runner. Most baseball games render themselves instantly obsolete due to poor defense. This one does not!
Seeing the ball pop off the bat is so satisfying. Is this another home run shot? Nope. Close but no cigar. No matter, it still brings home a run. L.A. Cyclops go up 4-0 on the Boston Kings. Gotta love the fake names. It’s charming in its own way.
Stretching a double into a triple is the best.
Getting beaned, however, not so much. Sometimes the hit batter will even charge the mound and “beat up” the pitcher. No joke. First time I saw that I marked out!
Hitting line drive doubles just inside the foul line is immensely gratifying.
Adding insult to injury is the dribbler that sneaks through the infield for another RBI hit. The camera really lets you see the ball getting pounded into the dirt as it travels just past the defenders. Sweet!
Perhaps nothing is more demoralizing to the opposition than seeing the ball land in-between two defenders (“No Man’s Land”) and roll all the way to the fence as opposing base runners madly dash around the bases. Oh man does it feel good to do this. On the flip side, it’s crushing to be on the receiving end.
Unlike many baseball games from that era, it’s actually possible to score on sacrifice flies. Players’ speed and arm strength in this game feel almost “just right” for the most part. I love scoring on sac flies! It also doesn’t ruin the batter’s batting average, just like in real life. Good stuff.
Flashing off some leather! Like I said, the defense in this game is pretty top-notch. You’ll be stealing away base hits from the opponent like a demon. I also like how the outfield switches seamlessly to a more traditional look.
Another sick home run shot. If I had turned on the slaughter rule, this game would have already been over. But there’s no slaughter rule in the pros and I got to get my stats…
Leaping catches are sick. But oh, the agony of letting one through the cracks.
Aggressive base running from the Kings. Down 11-0, they’ve got nothing to lose.
Nothing beats a diving save over the third base chalk line that leads to gunning out the runner at first. So damn satisfying!
Robbing would be base hits is so smooth and natural in this game.
Seriously, this is an awesome baseball game! So underrated.
WOW… FAIR BY A HAIR! It’s such a helpless feeling for the defender as he chases after the ball.
Baseball, like football, can often times be a game of inches. Being on the offensive side of this is a great feeling. Not so much on the defensive side.
Simon once again terrorizes the Boston Kings, smacking a 2 run double in the gap. The L.A. Cyclops have now scored 3 touchdowns and gone up 21-1. Damn. By the way, you gotta love how the game shows you how each batter performed in his previous at-bats. Especially when a guy has a multi-hit game. Fill up that stat sheet!
Another solid single that barely sneaks past the defenders into right field. It’s so fun tracking your hits since the perspective doesn’t switch until you hit the outfield.
Suicide squeeze up 22-1? I’m definitely getting beaned next time! But check out how you can lower your bunt if you so choose. You can swing or bunt high, normal or low in this game. It all adds to the variety and options.
Gonna be a close play at the plate… SAFE! 26-1, 25 run lead. DAMN.
Computer’s defense is definitely not the smartest. 2 outs and instead of throwing to first base for the sure 3rd out, he throws it to second base. SAFE. The second baseman then flings it to first but he’s a half second late. SAFE. Bases loaded for a crack at a Grand Slam and 30 runs…
Patton steps up to the plate having had a monster day. A single, two doubles and a home run already in the books, could he go 5 for 7 with a Grand Slam to boot? Uh oh… look at that swing! Look at that ball fly… could it be?!
HOLY SHITPatton did it! The ball stays just fair to give Patton a Grand Slam and a monster game for the ages. The L.A. Cyclops are spanking the Boston Kings 30-1!
Computer, allow me to show you how a real double play is turned! Double plays are the best especially the diving ones. Double plays are a pitcher’s best friend after all. One last out to get…
Another sick diving save at 3rd base. It never gets old.
Holy crap — 30 hits and 30 runs!
FAIR OR FOUL?
Hitting a ball fair or foul is one of those “OHH!” moments for sure. Whether you’re pumping your fist or cursing your lot in life, it certainly elicits that “OHH!” feeling.
Nothing beats seeing a ball land just fair and roll all the way to the wall! Well, if you’re on offense, anyhow.
SAFE OR OUT?
Speaking of the umps, they always get the final say. That won’t stop your 1st base coach however from signaling safe even when the runner is called out. It’s little stuff like this that helps make a game more endearing to me.
BIG OR SMALL?
Players will sometimes “shrink and grow” on the infield. It doesn’t really affect gameplay but it’s a notable quirk. Hey, the DSP chip wasn’t perfect.
DESIGN OR NOT?
Super Bases Loaded 2 allows you to design up to four teams. You can change their player names — this could potentially lead to some juvenile antics but thankfully there’s none of the sort here. [Right -Ed.]. Players are rated in different categories and you can set the number ratings however you wish. You can create the ultimate team of players with 8’s across the board, or the worst team possible with all 1’s. Or you can make them all 4’s, or mix and match. It’s pretty cool.
Speed makes all the difference…
SEASON STATS
As mentioned earlier I recently wrapped up a 162-game season. I finished 154-8 for a whopping 95% winning percentage. Won the Omega League by 70+ games! I averaged about 3.75 runs a game and over 2 stolen bases a game.
I freely admit I am a sucker for round numbers. I would hate to end a season with a .299 batting average, 29 home runs, 99 RBIs and 39 stolen bases…
Thankfully Patton was having none of that.
I had three guys in the top 10 for home runs: Baker (36), Patton (32) and Simon (28). Bonner also had 23 so technically he should have been the 4th guy in the top 10.
I had four guys in the top 10 for RBIs: Patton (113), Simon (103), Baker (91) and Bonner (77). I was a little peeved that I couldn’t get 9 more RBIs with Baker to give him an even 100.
I had nine guys in the top 10 for stolen bases! I really love how you can steal bases in this game. Leigh was a beast leading the way with 69 steals.
That Cooper guy on Philly is pretty good!
Damn, Ryan 80 wins and Willis 76 saves!
Unfortunately, I couldn’t take pictures of my final regular season stats. After Game 162, you’re taken to the World Series and the stats reset for post season play. Therefore I couldn’t take pictures but I did write down the stats. I will show the “normal” stats for each L.A. batter below. The caption will reveal the stats I had with that player during the 162-game season.
Sadly, there was never much hub-bub about Super Bases Loaded 2. I remember a one page preview in EGM in early 1994 that caught my eye. The graphics for the time were unique and didn’t look like any other 16-bit baseball title. I ended up buying a copy in 2006 after experiencing my SNES resurrection. I remember playing it very briefly and thinking it was pretty fun, but I stored it away. Earlier this summer I finally decided to pick it up and play again. What started as a few games turned into a full 162-game season! Maybe if more people played it there would be some more positive chatter about this highly underrated game.
Baseball fans, don’t miss this!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I’m so glad I finally sat down to play this game thoroughly. It’s now become one of my favorite Super Nintendo games, especially as far as sports games go. There’s just something about it that feels so right. The graphics aren’t the greatest but it has that classic retro baseball look to it. If I were to close my eyes and think of a 16-bit baseball game, my mind would probably think of a screenshot from a game like Super Bases Loaded 2. And I love that camera system. It’s the only SNES baseball game I know where hitting the ball doesn’t automatically switch the camera. If you smack it into the infield the camera simply zooms back and you never miss a beat on making a defensive stop. Speaking of which, defense for the most part feels natural and smooth. There are a few mishaps here and there, though. Namely, the infielders can feel like they’re slightly in mud every once in a while. But you get used to the speed pretty soon. Since we’re on the topic of speed, this is a big one for baseball games. You know how sometimes runners run too fast or too slow? Or the defenders’ arms are too strong or too weak? This seems to be that rare 16-bit baseball game that almost gets it right. Players aren’t lightning fast nor are they slow as turtles. Arms aren’t super strong yet the ball never bounces to home plate from the outfield 11 freaking times! Best of all, pace of play. You can finish a 9 inning game in about 15 minutes. That makes games fast-paced and fun.
Some may complain about the lack of teams, real names, real players, lack of stadiums and lack of in-game music. I actually don’t mind the fake players in this case. I find the game’s 14 teams (18 if you count the four custom teams) strangely endearing. I like discovering each team’s best and worst players. Besides, there’s plenty of other baseball games on the SNES if I have a hankering to play as Mo Vaughn or Cecil Fielder. Super Bases Loaded 2 is unique. In fact, the bats have a metal sound to them despite clearly being wooden bats. It all adds to this quirky charming alternate baseball universe atmosphere. It’s not Japan. It’s not college. It’s not even AAA. It’s just… Super Bases Loaded 2. There is no in-game music but this is not necessarily a bad thing. I find it strangely calming to play a game with little music for a change. Besides, there were many evenings earlier this summer where I threw this game on for an hour and knocked out four games while listening to a podcast (without having to turn down the TV volume). It worked quite well! There are nice rally themes that play throughout based on the situation but they’re short (and actually not bad while they last). As for the three stadiums, at least they vary in look and size. Not a deal breaker for me.
The bottom line is this game rocks. Seriously. I’ve played more than my share of baseball games. There are a lot of fair to middling baseball games on the SNES. Then there are some truly awful ones. And then you have good ones. This is definitely one of the good ones. It’s a lot of fun to play, it’s fast to play and it just feels like baseball done right. It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better than you may initially think. It’s a shame this game is as overlooked and obscure as it is. My hope is this review sways you to give Super Bases Loaded 2 a crack, especially those of you who don’t mind playing a (well made) 16-bit sports game. And hey, being summer time presently, what better time to give it a try than now?
Capcom could almost do no wrong back in the early-mid ’90s. They were like King Midas; almost anything they touched turned to gold. Their Street Fighter II franchise caught lightning in a bottle. In 1993 Capcom released an arcade wrestling game by the name of Saturday Night Slam Masters. Can we pause here to acknowledge that Saturday Night Slam Masters has to be one of the greatest titles for a video game ever? Who doesn’t love Saturday nights, and who doesn’t want to take control of a Slam Master? The title completely captures the carny and zany nature of the professional wrestling underworld. I loved playing the arcade game back in the day and was psyched when a Super Nintendo port was announced. Boosting 10 crazy comic book-like grapplers, the best thing about Slam Masters was its frenetic 4 player tag team bedlam mode. Yup, Saturday nights at home with the SNES and three friends was never going to be the same again.
30 YEARS BEING A WRASSLIN’ FAN
It all started here
On an innocent Saturday night in early October of 1987, my uncle introduced me and my brother to the wacky world of professional wrestling. That night we saw Saturday Night’s Main Event. In particular, I’ll never forget that moment when Intercontinental Champion Honky Tonk Man smashed Macho Man Randy Savage over the head with his guitar. Coincidentally, one of the men holding Savage hostage there, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, was recently featured here on RVGFanatic.
The Handshake Heard ‘Round The World
Hulk Hogan made the save and the two joined forces to create The Mega Powers. And on that night I became cemented as a wrestling fan for life. My fandom has been going strong nearly 30 years now, and I’ll always be a sucker for a good wrestling product. Speaking of which…
It was like witnessing the Holy Grail
I’ll never forget the summer of 1994. It was such an epic summer that I wrote all about it here: The Summer of Imports. Saturday Night Slam Masters played a big role in that memorable summer over 20 years ago.
Who didn’t want to use Haggar in a wrestling game?
Known as Muscle Bomber: The Body Explosion in Japan, Slam Masters isn’t the most technically proficient wrestling game around but what it lacks in proper technique it more than makes up for with tons of character, charm and chaos.
SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING
Accompanied by a rockin’ guitar riff, the intro is short and sweet. It also sets the mood perfectly for the pandemonium to come.
THE SLAM MASTERS
Jumbo and Scorp are considered “boss characters” and are only selectable in the tag team mode. Scorp is an absolute badass. I like all of them but as a kid I took an immediate liking to Titanic Tim. He was my man! My brother gravitated to El Stringray, the Rey Mysterio Jr. wannabe. Of course, you can’t go wrong with Haggar, either. But Titanic Tim was my favorite. As a kid I had two phrases I would always shout whenever I hit someone with Tim’s big boot or his running shoulder tackle. Hey, I was 10. It went like such…
“GET OUT OF THE WAY!”“MAKE ROOM!”
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
Weapons are occasionally strewn about outside the ring in the one on one mode. Nothing satisfies like cracking someone’s cranium with a sturdy table.
Gunloc is rumored to be the brother of Guile. One can definitely see the similarities…
Turnabout is fair play! Gunloc finishes off the remains of the table and quite possibly Biff as well.
Nothing gets a better laugh though than smashing someone over the head with a beer bottle!
Perhaps you want something more traditional, though. In that case grab a chair which takes two hits to completely destroy. Love the way Haggar sells!
SINGLES WARFARE
Modern day David vs. Goliath — not looking good for the little guy at the moment…
Titanic Tim LAUNCHES El Stingray high into the stratosphere. Love his reaction there. Reminds me of Randy Orton cringing when he threw Samir Singh too hard…
Yikes…
TAG TEAM WARFARE
Stingray’s Atomic Diver looks painful as hell, to BOTH guys.
Haggar is pissed off and delivers his classic spinning clothesline. Stingray’s Jalapeno Comet is probably the coolest looking special move in the game.
Alexander the Grater’s Tornado Toss is arguably the most gruesome and wince-inducing move. He tosses you high into the air, even going above the screen, before you come crashing down to the hard canvas with no give. OUCH!
HAGGAR’S REVENGE
Haggar is pissed off at Stingray for the lack of help and takes out the little guy.
STINGRAY’S REVENGE
Secret to beating a big bully? Recruit an even bigger one! Besides, Titanic Tim feels guilty for launching Stingray into the far reaches of outer space that one time, and is paying back the favor he owes to El Stingray. Not to mention, he’s kind of taken a liking to the little guy, if truth be told.
Capcom absolutely NAILED the entrances. It completely captures the over the top nature of the wrestling business.
Titanic Tim starts out by targeting Haggar, choking the life out of him. Later on, Jumbo uses his girth to put the big squeeze on the big man.
Massive suplex! Thing of beauty.
Haggar submits to Tim’s Torture Rack. At the end you get a classic Capcom Street Fighter-esque post fight quote. By the way, my favorite thing about the tag team bedlam mode is that it’s elimination style. Meaning you can enjoy a nice little 2-on-1 handicap match after defeating one of your opponents. It’s a total blast with 4 players!
Taking a page out of Bret Hart’s playbook, Tim delivers a picture perfect Reverse Russian Legsweep. I love catching them from behind while they’re dealing with my tag partner. These sneak attacks are the best. Also love the impact of the mat. It sounds painful as hell.
Getting a double 3-count pin in stereo is almost the coolest thing in this game. Check out how Grater there turns a shade of red after being defeated!
Speaking of coolest, nothing beats this. Seeing your tag partner thwart the opponent’s attempt to save their partner in the nick of time is a fist pumping moment for sure! Close saves (both ways) create the most compelling moments in this game by far.
Haggar is back for revenge and this time he has a new partner: Scorp. Judging by that second pic there, it’s a good call…
Haggar’s Spinning Piledriver is absolutely devastating.
Scorp’s Spiral Slam is just as lethal.
Destruction personified!
Defeat all comers and Capcom lets you do it again, Ghosts ‘N Goblins style.
Falling face first at the game over screen always made me chuckle.
Quotes from each wrestler appear pre and post match. It was a sign of the times.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
Gorgeous artwork from artist AngusBurgers
Saturday Night Slam Masters fared well with the critics as an arcade port. EGM gave it ratings of 7, 7, 7 and 8. Super Play rated it 78%. It’s obvious it’s best when played with 4. It takes a huge hit when playing solo, moreso than other 4 player games I feel. EGM said it best when one of their reviewers cited, “This is awesome for parties and gatherings, but not one I’d want to sit down and play all day.” I had a blast with this game back in the summer of 1994. My brother, our friends and I would all rotate having a go. It’s aged well but I’m reminded of how limited this game is, having played it recently. Yeah, it is an arcade port but you wish Capcom threw in some extra modes. It’s a straight port of an arcade game that didn’t have many bells and whistles. What you see is what you get. This worked fine with Street Fighter II, but Saturday Night Slam Masters is the CLASSIC arcade game. By that I mean it’s a lot of fun to play for a short go each time you see it in the arcade hall, but its flaws are exposed with longer sessions.
“A little help here?”
Super Play perhaps put it best:
“It’s totally atmospheric and, along with the over-the-top glitziness of each of the 10 fighters, it makes for an entertaining game to watch, if never totally satisfying to play. The problem is it’s very much an arcade experience. It’s fine to stick a couple of quid in for a laugh when you happen to come across it at the Trocadéro, for example, but it doesn’t have the gameplay or depth backing it. It’s just a matter of exchanging punches and kicks for a while, moving in for a spot of grappling, and hoping you get in there first. Sure, it may take a while to learn the special moves, and when to best apply them, but there aren’t many, and that’s as far as any strategy goes.”
CLOSING THOUGHTS
SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTING
Don’t get me wrong, for all the flaws that Saturday Night Slam Masters has, I still like the game a whole bloody lot. You can’t talk about the best 4 player SNES games without mentioning this one. And if you take it for what it strictly is, you should be satisfied. It’s a crazy arcade wrestling game that places more emphasis on an arcade style than it does a pure technical wrestling style. You may come away feeling a bit cheated if you’re looking for anything beyond that. Computer AI can be very cheap, pulling off miracle comebacks and knowing your next move before you even attempt it. But it all goes back to the true nature of this game: it’s meant to be experienced playing alongside 3 pals.
“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!”
Yes, it’s a bit shallow but as far as straight arcade ports go Capcom did a great job. Extras would have been appreciated but the graphics and sound are on par with what you’d expect from Capcom in this era. In other words, they do a good job bringing home an arcade-like quality experience. It’s by no means a deep game, so I knocked it down a point or two. It’s just a matter of hanging in there and hoping for the best, as Super Play perfectly encapsulated a bit earlier.
Get him, T. Hawk! Er, Titanic Tim
Overall, it’s a great arcade translation but it was best played in spurts with friends in the arcade, and the same applies here.
Earlier this week, on July 2nd to be precise, Bret “The Hitman” Hart turned the big 6-0. That’s right. If you grew up as a wrestling fan of the late ’80s/early ’90s then you know Bret Hart was one of the key figures of the industry and remains highly regarded as one of the best wrestlers to ever lace a pair of boots. Born on July 2, 1957, Bret came from the Hart family. One of the most famous families in pro wrestling history, Bret developed his craft at a young age in the infamous Hart Dungeon where his father, Stu Hart, and his 87 brothers applied various stretch holds on the poor lad. My uncle Jimmy introduced me to wrestling in 1987 and I’ve been a fan ever since. I fell in love with the action and larger than life characters. I became a Bret Hart fan early on. It was evident that he was born to be a wrestler. They didn’t call him the EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION for nothing!
Who could forget the Anvil’s trademark laughter?
Bret began his WWF career tagging with his brother-in-law, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Together they formed one of the most memorable and successful tag teams in the World Wrestling Federation. Bret’s impeccable wrestling acumen was sharply complemented by Jim’s sheer brute force. Managed by “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, the Hart Foundation ruled the tag scene and soon became fan favorites.
Tag team wrestling in the ’80s was so good
My brother and I loved Demolition, we loved the Rockers… but DAMN DID WE LOVE the Hart Foundation. I remember the highs and I remember the lows. They won the tag titles twice and we cheered. However, their shocking defeat to the Nasty Boys at Wrestlemania VII left a very sour taste in my mouth. I remember Jimmy Hart, who was then managing the Nasty Boys, gave his megaphone to Knobbs or Saggs, and they bloody took off Anvil’s head to win the tag titles. It was a dark day for Hart Foundation fans everywhere. The team split up after that when the WWF realized Bret’s potential as a major singles star. He went on to win the WWF Championship five times, before leaving the company after the infamous 1997 Survivor Series screwjob in Montreal.
Welcome home, Bret
In the wrestling business there’s a famous saying… NEVER SAY NEVER.After nearly 10 years of not being a part of the WWE in any fashion, Bret Hart was announced to headline the 2006 WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. It was a huge moment in the industry and for all Bret Hart fans. This was his big homecoming. ONE NIGHT ONLY. April 1, 2006. It was one of my favorite Hall of Fame speeches ever. Tonight we relive the memories of that unforgettable evening.
BRET HART’S INDUCTION VIDEO INTRO
Alright, and now to induct Bret “The Hitman” Hart… there are some people who need no introduction. But if you don’t give this next guy one, he’ll open up a can of whup ass on y’all and I don’t want that to happen here tonight. I’d like to say a lot of nice things about this guy but… I rather be honest. He’s… [WHAT! -Audience]he is NOT a nice man [WHAT!]. As a matter of fact, [WHAT!] he is the meanest [WHAT!], he is the toughest [WHAT!] son of a bitch in the WWE… STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
*CROWD POPS*
But not everyone’s glad to see the Rattlesnake…Austin walks right past Hogan, no selling it allAUSTIN-HOGAN! *CLAP CLAP* AUSTIN-HOGAN!
You know, I was going through my bag in the back and…
Call it a hunch but I think the crowd wants a Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan dream match . The great Mean Gene Okerlund has seen and heard it all in this great business, but even he is taken aback by this rabid fan response. The crowd is absolutely LIT here in Chicago tonight.
You know it’s funny… I was uh, I was going through my bag in the back and I couldn’t find something. I lost something. I went in the back looking through my bag and uh, I found a can of WHUP ASS and it had Hulk Hogan’s name on it.
*CROWD POPS LIKE CRAZY*
“YOU DAMN RIGHT!”
It’s a good night to be up here today with all these legends and uh, it’s fun for me. And it’s a great honor and I know everybody’s been saying that but I really mean it, because I ain’t the most humble sumbitch in the world.
*Crowd chuckles*
You got the Blackjacks over here. The black trunks, the black boots, the black vests, bad attitude. If I coulda ridden down the road with you guys, it woulda been great.
I never told Sherri this but I’ve always been in love with her. I just thought she was sexy, gorgeous and just a tremendous work — I just loved everything she did.
Sherri soaks in the adulation
You were talking about the blondes a little bit earlier in the evening — I just love everything you did.
A lot of people don’t know this but I traveled up and down the road with Tony Atlas. And uh, where’s that cheapskate Mick Foley, because he traveled with us.
*Crowd laughs*
And everybody knows that Tony was a great bodybuilder, and he’s a great powerlifter, and a great wrestler too, but he’s also a great beer drinker.
*Crowd chuckles*
And we’d ride up and down the road… he was good but he couldn’t drink as much as Stone Cold could, I’ll tell you that much right now. But we’d drink beer until the late hours of the night, and then me and Tony would go to the gym. I’d be working chest, bench pressing about 225 for about four, five reps, and Tony would be over there bouncing 500 off his chest about 10, 15 times. IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF!
*Crowd laughs*
So it’s good to be here tonight. And uh, you know, I’m here to talk about a guy that I’ve always respected before I even knew him. And you know, I’ve always had a deep respect for the great workers in the business, the great technicians, and the great storytellers. And uh, Bret “The Hitman” Hart never was the biggest guy in the business. And Bret never was the flashiest guy in the business. But I always had an unbelievable chemistry in the ring with him. I knew that any time the bell rang there was a trust and there was a level of respect in there between us and just, good things always seem to happen. And I remember one time I was laying at the house on my couch and I was watching Monday Night Raw. Of all things I had a busted knee. And I’m listening to the announcing — this was back when Vince McMahon used to do the announcing — and it was Wrestlemania 13 right here in Chicago at the Rosemont. My favorite building to wrestle in… it’s just a magic environment. And I hear Vince go, “Yeah, and in a submission match it’ll be Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin!”And that was news to me, because I was watching the broadcast and I didn’t know a DAMN thing about it.
*Crowd chuckles*
And it got me kinda hot because I’m not a submission wrestler. You probably know that from watching me; I only got about three offensive moves.
*Crowd laughs*
Triple H and his wife Stephanie McMahon laughing
So when I showed up to Chicago that night, I remember I needed to get in shape for the match, but I had a busted knee. So I stopped drinking for about 17 days. And uh, Lanza commented on how good I looked. And I remember going to the match that night and I was thinking it was at a point in my career where I needed something big to happen. The King of the Ring had already happened, I cut a promo which kind of put me on the map, and this was kind of put up or shut up time. It was a semi-main event that night, a submission style match and I just knew that we were gonna go out there in my favorite town to work and my favorite building and completely stink the joint out. What we did was go out there and, things happened, and it was the greatest match of my career.
*Crowd claps respectfully*
16 time champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair shows love
I’ve had a lot of great matches after that but Jack Lanza came up to me and he said, “You’ll probably never have a match like that again.” And he kinda was right, we never really achieved anything like that again. But any time I stepped into the ring with Bret, whether it was overseas or here in the States somewhere, I’ve wrestled him a million times, and Bret was a guy that always showed up. He didn’t miss his shot, now he always showed up LATE, but he never missed his shot. So I’m proud to induct him into the Hall of Fame tonight. He’s a guy that’s always called himself the excellence of execution. He lives that, he breathes that, and he truly believes it in his heart. And that’s why he was so good. He’s the best there is, he’s the best there was, he’s the best there ever will be, he’s Bret “The Hitman” Hart!
Wrestlers and fans alike stand up to cheer on BretIt was euphoric and cathartic. Nearly 10 years!THANK YOU BRET! THANK YOU BRET!THANK YOU BRET! THANK YOU BRET!THANK YOU!THANK YOU BRET! THANK YOU BRET!
Thank you! I just wanna say um… it’s an honor to be here and it’s an honor to be up here with so many uh great legends like everybody said. And uh… you know, nobody’s more surprised and more amazed to be here than I am. But uh, this is a big night for me.
And despite what anyone thinks, many years ago when I had my fallout with Vince McMahon at the 1997 Survivor Series and all that, I made a promise to myself THAT DAY, that if they ever asked me to do the Hall of Fame I would be here.
Bret receives a rousing ovation
I wanna say that while I’ll never forget what the WWE took away from me, I also wanna say that I’ll never forget all the great things that they gave to me. And I’ve had a great great life and I’ve had a great career here. And first of all I want to thank the McMahons, especially Vince, for giving me the chance to work on his canvas.
*Fans jeer at the mention of Vince*
The McMahons, minus Vince (backstage), look on
Every night that I went out years ago when I first started, I uh, I was just honored to be in the ring and wrestle for the WWE.
You know when I think back years and years ago, when I was about uh, well three years old I think, I was watching my first wrestling matches on TV and I was watching Killer Kowalski. And uh, I think in my family everybody just became ingrained from the very start to love this business and love the circus life. My family growing up, I mean, everybody loved wrestling and we always been grateful for all the funny adventures and stories that we’ve had through this great business.
I want everyone to know that I came here to celebrate my career, not to mourn over it. And uh, I had a fortune cookie today that said uh, “You’re welcomed at any gathering,” on my Chinese fortune cookie today.
*Crowd cheers*
The Nature Boy looks on
I want to go back to when I was a little kid. I remember going to the wrestling matches for the very first time, and I’d be riding in the car down to the wrestling matches with my brothers, and right from the very start I can remember I’d be riding in the car and my dad would pull up to the hotel and uh, I remember when I was real young they picked up the midgets.
*Crowd chuckles*
The lovely Trish Stratus
And uh, I remember I thought “Cool, finally I got some wrestlers that I can play around with,” you know. And it was uh, I remember Sky Low Low and Little Beaver and that whole bunch, they just all get in the backseat.
Sky Low Low and Little Beaver
My dad had a big stretch limo with four different rows of seats, just enough for all us Hart kids and uh, he let the midgets climb in there and they get in the back and I can remember I thought, “Great.” And I remember trying to headlock them and stuff like that.
The Sarge chuckles along with the crowd
And if you ever uh, if you knew midget wrestlers you know that you don’t want to be headlocking them — they don’t appreciate that too much.
*Crowd laughs*
But anyway, wrestling’s always been part of my life. I can remember my first experiences with wrestling. I was about uh, 10, 12 years old and I’d go down to the basement, and my dad had all these huge wrestlers. And I remember you were kind of safe when you were about that age — 12 you’re OK you know — you could sit down there and as long as you didn’t say anything. And it was pretty interesting to watch my dad put these guys into all these holds and they’d be screaming for their lives down there. I think my mom sometimes, I don’t know what she thought, I think she sometimes phoned the police. She was worried someone’s getting killed down there.
*Crowd chuckles*
My dad was an amazing character and I want to say first that… I owe everything I am today to my dad. And uh, the man I always longed to be was the one I first thought my father was. He was a one of a kind guy in this business. And I can remember when I first got in, I always introduced myself around the dressing room as Bret Hart, Stu Hart’s kid, and this was always my passage to safety. Everybody I know who really understood him and got to know him loved him. He was everything that was good about the wrestling business. I know he’d be really proud of me standing here today.
*Crowd applauds respectfully*
I uh… got all kinds of funny stories and memories. I’ll try to not go too long here. It would only be right for me to tell a few funny stories about my brother, Owen.
*Crowd cheers*
My brother Owen was uh… he was a hilarious guy.
*Crowd chants O-WEN! O-WEN! O-WEN!*
I remember being on the road getting a call from somebody telling me that someone from delivery service was giving me a free pizza. I think I already eaten… but they would sell me on it. It was free and bringing it up and it’s on the house. And I was like OK. And the next thing you know I would be arguing with the guy about how he wanted me to pick my toppings — what kind of toppings I wanted. And it was like OK. So I started going through the toppings and then he starts pushing more toppings on you. Then finally he tells you after all that he’s going to charge you for the toppings. And you go through this charade… anyway, that was Owen.
*Crowd laughs and cheers*
Booker T splits a side cracking up
One time we were checking into a hotel in Dayton, Ohio. All the wrestlers were walking in and uh, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan [HOOOOO! -Crowd] was there with his wife, and he went to his room.
“HOOOOOOOO!”
We were all standing around the front desk signing in. Duggan phoned down and asked the guy at the front desk, “Where’s the gym?” The guy puts his hand over the phone and he goes, “Anyone know where the gym is?”
And Owen goes, you know, “Give it to me.” So he hands the phone over to Owen and Owen gets on the phone and of course, Jim, Hacksaw just thinks it’s somebody at the front desk. Anyway, Owen tells Hacksaw, “Why don’t you look it up yourself, YOU LAZY BASTARD.”
Mark Henry laughs so hardhe has to wipe away a tear
So Hacksaw got all worked up and Owen tells him,“If you wanna do something about it, come down here and I’ll kick your ass.”
Triple H laughs along with the crowd
Hacksaw couldn’t believe it. So then Hacksaw, you know, he’s getting dressed to come down to the lobby to straighten out this front desk guy. And I remember Owen just hands the phone back to him and the guy goes, “Don’t do this to me!“
Big laughs from Big Show, Sarge and Dusty Rhodes
Owen goes, “Don’t worry, just tell him it’s me… Jim Powers.”
*Crowd erupts in laughter*
Batista, Bobby Lashley and Tatanka cracking up
Hacksaw comes down to the lobby and the guy goes, “Hey, it wasn’t me! It was Jim Powers.”
*Crowd erupts again*
Most definitely NOT Owen Hart
I remember that night in the dressing room, Hacksaw came up to Jim Powers and uh… well, that was funny anyway.
*Crowd laughs*
If you knew Owen, I’m sure he pulled a joke on you somewhere.
The crowd cheers for Owen and a great story shared
I remember in the beginning of my career I had a chance to uh… I got called and they said they needed me to take the Dynamite Kid’s place. He was going to wrestle in Madison Square Garden against the great Tatsumi Fujinami from Japan. Anyway, Dynamite Kid couldn’t get across the border and I was called up at the last minute.
I remember I got to the building — this was such a big thing for me… I was only about 20, 21 — and I remember I was walking through the lobby getting ready for that big walk over to Madison Square Garden and I kept thinking to myself, “One day I get to tell my kids that I wrestled in Madison Square Garden.”
*Crowd claps respectfully*
Anyway, they met me, the Japanese guys that brought me in for this. They stopped me in the lobby and they said, “We have to take you off the card. You don’t have a big enough name to wrestle in Madison Square Garden.” And I remember that in the beginning of my career…
When I first got to the WWE in 1984, I was fortunate and lucky enough to be a part of this new surge in wrestling thanks to Hulk Hogan, Vince and the whole team of wrestlers that took wrestling to a whole new level.
*Crowd claps*
Back in those days wrestling was pretty tough. I worked 304 days my first year and I think I worked pretty much close to that for the next six years that I was in the WWE. Double shots. It was a tough life. But I want to say I would never have made it through those years if it hadn’t been for my tag team partner, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.
*Crowd pops for The Anvil*
Good ol’ Jim Neidhart
Jim Neidhart was you know, he was just the greatest character. I got a little pug over in Italy right now that I keep just because I think he reminds me of Jim. He’s got those sad puppy dog eyes you know, and he always wants you to have one more round.
I got so many funny memories and stories of Jim Neidhart, but I’ll just tell one. I remember Owen had just flown in; I think he was getting a new start with WWE back in 1991, maybe. We just did one night in Texas — I worked with a guy named Skinner. Anyway, all the wrestlers were kind of celebrating and I took Owen to a strip bar in San Antonio…
*Some fans scream YEEEEAAAAH!!*
Owen wasn’t really prone to those kind of places but I managed to talk him into it because it was a big night for him. He was starting back in WWE and he’d flown in from Germany. And it was a crazy night, that night in Texas, I’ll tell you that much. We were all drinking in the bar and everyone’s kind of talking and stuff…
Next thing you know I see Vince coming in…
*Crowd laughs*
Sarge remembers that night all too well
And Vince had a few soda pops somewhere else. He was primed and ready that night. I bet Sergeant Slaughter remembers this — he was driving, thank God.
*Crowd laughs*
But anyway, I remember just kind of hanging out in the bar with Owen. And Hulk, you know, he could always stir up shit, you know.
*Crowd laughs*
Hulk Hogan looking on GUILTY AS ALL HELLAnimal from Legion of Doom reminisces along
He was stirring up the Legion of Doom. Hulk got them all worked up. And I remember Hawk and Animal were talking about how they were going to do their finisher on Vince.
*Crowd erupts in laughter*
Doomsday Device is no joke!
And I remember watching it and I’m thinking, “No way. They’re not gonna do it. Nobody would do their finisher on Vince.”
WWE CEO, Vincent Kennedy McMahon
And um, next thing I know I see Hawk saying he’s not kidding and Animal’s kind of going along with it. Quite a few of the wrestlers were starting to mark out over this, and see if it’s gonna actually happen.
*Crowd laughs*
Jim’s pulling on the beard *Crowd laughs*
Anyway, next I see Animal come up behind Vince. And like I said, Vince was already in a pretty good state of mind. So Animal came up from behind and he hoisted Vince up. I look and there’s Hawk right there on the little table with the poles.
*Crowd laughs*
Hawk and Animal (Road Warriors AKA Legion of Doom)
And uh, I’m waiting. I’m watching. I’m thinking, “Here it is… they’re gonna take Vince’s head off.”
*Crowd laughs*
Hawk came off the table with a little powder puff clothesline and I remember Hulk, Beefcake and everybody kind of caught Vince and set him down. I think they even gave a little golf clap.
*Crowd laughs*
And I remember I had a beer in my hand. I think I had a shot of Jack Daniels. And I can see Jim pulling on his beard. He goes…
“HART FOUNDATION WOULD HAVE DONE IT!”
*Crowd laughs and cheers loudly*
Shelton Benjamin busts up
I remember thinking, “I better get the hell out of here.”I couldn’t set my drinks down fast enough. I told Owen, “Listen, I gotta get out of here RIGHT NOW.” Next thing you know, Jim’s got Vince up in the bear hug position…
Set up for the Hart Attack
*Crowd laughs*
I remember Hulk looking at me like, “So… what’s gonna happen here?”
*Crowd chuckles*
The Hulkster cracks a grin while reminiscing alongWould Bret really do it?Anyway… I TOOK VINCE’S HEAD OFF
*Crowd erupts*
Hart Attack to Vince!Ric Flair dies laughing. Thankfully, not literally
Jim Neidhart… I remember so many funny stories about him. I can’t resist telling this one. Whenever we stayed at a hotel we would always forget to put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob. We’d be lying there in bed and I can hear the maid fumbling with the key to come into the room. I’d be sound asleep and I remember just sort of hearing Jim pull the whole blanket off, and just be lying there like a big old starfish.
Drax the Destroyer and his lady enjoy a good chuckle
And then you see the maid come in. I mean, we went through this quite a few times. It was standard Hart Foundation. You hear them scream and run out of the room as fast as they could. Over a period of time I think we could do it in stereo, you know. Anyway, I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.
*Laughter and applause*
There’s a lot of wrestlers I wanna take the time to thank. In my early days, I’ll never forget Cowboy Bob Orton, Roddy Piper, Don Muraco, Mr. Fuji, Iron Sheik and so many others that uh, every night, they were my family. And uh, I love those guys. I had some uh…*Fan interjects, “ONE MORE MATCH!“*
Huh, we’ll see… *Crowd pops*
“ONE MORE MATCH!
ONE MORE MATCH!
ONE MORE MATCH!”
I wish. I wish I could have one more match. I wanna take the time to uh, think about and remember some of my great matches and great experiences I had. I’ll never forget the matches I had with Mr. Perfect, Curt Hennig.
*MASSIVE POP*
He was uh, he was just the greatest guy to work with every night. I never looked at working with him as work. It was a night off. He was just the greatest guy to work with every night. He was just so much fun and he was so safe and so careful. And I miss him.
I remember wrestling Curt Hennig in Anchorage, Alaska. It was sold out and I remember it was a big crowd. Andre was working in those days with Warrior, and they were going about 25 seconds every night.
*Crowd laughs*
Not exactly workhorses, these two…Austin laughs along with the sold out crowd
So they needed some extra time, you know, for someone to do the work out there. I was working with Curt that night, and I don’t think I ever had a bad match with him, but I remember that night we uh, we just had such a beautiful match that I’ll never forget it.
*Respectful applause*
Bret Hart’s epic coming out party (SummerSlam 1991)King of the Ring 1993 match was great, too
Another guy I wanna tell you a story about is Earthquake.
*Crowd cheers*
Earthquake, you’re in my prayers.
Wherever you are out there I hope you’re doing OK.
*Crowd applauds*
Sadly, he died two months after Bret’s speech
I remember we were flying from Columbus up to Seattle or something, and we had about a six in the morning flight. I remember we got delayed for hours and everyone was sleeping on the floor near the gate. It took hours and hours. And everyone was really tired and really cranky. We finally got off and we’re in the air on our way to Seattle. Poor Earthquake, he was in the very last seat in the airplane. You know, he was a big guy so he was against the wall sleeping with his head down. I remember going to the back of the plane to use the bathroom, but someone was already in there. And uh, Jimmy Hart was across from Earthquake, and I was talking to Jimmy.
Anyway, this little black kid came up and he was about four or five years old. He wanted my autograph and I remember I signed it for him, and then he asked Jimmy to sign it. And then he looked over at Earthquake and he goes, “Should I wake this guy up?”
*Crowd laughs*
Jimmy Hart goes, “Yeah go ahead.” I say, “Yeah, he’s a pussycat.” But Earthquake had a long day, you know, he had about enough. I remember this kid pulling on his coat like “Hey hey!”
And I remember Earthquake just looked up, and his eyes were like red holes. He yelled at the little kid and told him to GET OUT.So then he put his head back down…
I remember the little kid looked around like this…
… and he just leaned back and I couldn’t believe it, he just slapped Earthquake as hard as he could right on the forehead.
*Laughter and gasps ensue*
*OH NO HE DIH-ENT!*
And I remember Earthquake, good thing he had a seat belt on, he tried to explode out of that seat. And I remember Jimmy Hart was trying to find a place to hide and I remember I kept praying whoever’s in the bathroom better come out, you know.
*Crowd laughs*
Jimmy Hart recollects that memory as well
Anyway, as you can tell I had a life filled with all kinds of characters, and great stories and memories… and uh…
*Fan shouts, THANK YOU BRET!*
You’re welcome.
*Applause*
I wanna say that everything I did and accomplished in wrestling I did it for my kids. Everyday, you know, you get up and it’s not the easiest thing in the world to go out there all the time and entertain everyone else’s kids. It seemed like birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, you’re just always entertaining somebody else’s kids, and you’re always packing your bags. Your kids pay the ultimate sacrifice. I just want them to know that everything I did, I did it for them.
*Respectful applause*
Bret’s kids (and Nattie Neidhart) look on
I remember a few months before “THE SCREWJOB” …
*Fans boo vehemently*
The Montreal Screwjob (1997)
I uh, I was trying to put my youngest son, Blade, to bed. It was in the summer time. I ordered him to go to bed and he went up. I remember he got really mad, and he’s got a pretty bad temper anyway.
“Yo dad, quit throwing shade on me, will ya?”
He was slamming doors and making quite a fuss. I remember finally putting him in his room. I went back downstairs and I was sitting in my kitchen. Like half an hour later, all of a sudden I see Blade come down. And he’s got on Shawn’s t-shirt.
*Collective gasp*
Shawn’s hat… *GASP*
And he’s got the Shawn glove and he’s looking at me like this and he’s opening his hand.
*OOOOOOH!!!*
I said, “So, what are you supposed to be?”He looks at me and he goes, “I’M IN THE CLIQUE.”*Crowd laughs along with Blade*The Clique: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Nash, Hall and Kid
I still put him to bed. I remember telling Shawn that story. But uh, you know, when I think back to those days of the Hart Foundation… with um, Brian Pillman…
*MASSIVE POP for Pillman*
Jim Neidhart, The British Bulldog, Owen…
*Crowd pops*
Those were the happiest days of my life.
And I uh, I always look back on those days with a real deep fondness.
R.I.P. Pillman, Owen and Bulldog
And I was lucky — I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the great fans I’ve got all around the world. If I could give any advice to all the young wrestlers out there: never forsake your fans. Never forget them. Because if he’s a fan of yours, you’ll want to hold on to them for as long as they’ll take ya.
*Applause*
I wanna say that I was a real world’s champion. I traveled around the world, and uh, I was really proud to be a world champion. I wrestled in India, Israel, South Africa, the Philippines. I wrestled in so many places. And Germany, I wanna say a special thank you to all the fans I had in Germany. I remember they knocked down the barricades just to come up and give me a big hug before my match, or after my match. It was a beautiful experience that I’ll never forget. They were probably the most loyal and devoted fans I ever had. Canada, you know… I was always a Canadian first. I never ever forgot where I came from.
People always say why would you wear pink? Pink was a very special color for me. If you mix a little red and white together, you get pink. Sometimes I thought maybe I should have had a better color throughout my career. Maybe black and gold or something would have been a little nicer. But you know, there was something very neutral about pink as a color. I always said it took a real man to wear pink. Pink can be whatever you want it to be. And I uh, I love the color pink.
*Crowd chuckles*
I’m getting ready to close but I wanna say that uh… to the wrestlers… you need to pace yourselves for the long haul. And it’s not so much about hurting one another. It’s about respecting the art.
*Applause*
I wrestled for 23 years, and it’s not easy to go out there every night and describe yourself as the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. But I wrestled 23 years and I never once injured one wrestler ever. That I know of, anyway. And I was a pretty physical wrestler. And the whole business is about trust and respect. And there’s a deep meaning behind the words, “Doing the honors.”
I wanna thank every wrestler that I ever worked with anywhere around the world. And in closing, um, I want to thank my wife in Italy. When I had my stroke a couple years ago, I remember I got emails and letters from fans all around the world saying they were praying for me. And they must have been praying good because I was lucky and fortunate enough to have been blessed with a great recovery. And I’m standing here today.
*Applause*
If I didn’t have the recovery that I had, then I would never have met the sweet angel that saved me over in Italy. She’s over in Italy now with my pug and I just wanna say hi to her. Cinzia, thank you for being my angel.
And uh, I wanna thank everybody for all the great memories. Wembley Stadium, all my fans in England…
That was my favorite match that I ever had, and I’m happy to tell you that. And I wouldn’t change that minute, that moment for anything.
Wembley Stadium was the site of SummerSlam 1992Bret and Bulldog put on a masterful clinic
I guess I’m gonna wrap up here but I just wanna say that uh, to all the wrestlers and everyone around the world, if I could give only one message to them it would be this. “The best chance you have if you want to rise to the top is to give yourself up the loneliness. Fear nothing, and work hard. One thing you’ll discover is that life is based less than you think on what you’ve learned and much more than you think on what you have inside you right from the very beginning.”
And I’m happy to say that uh, you don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m good, I’m happy to be alive, I’m glad to be here. And I thank each of you for coming out here tonight. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Bret Hart receives a rousing send-off
You can go home again, after all
CLOSING THOUGHTS
The pink and black attack.
The excellence of execution.
The best there is.
The best there was.
The best there ever will be.
Whatever you want to call Bret, he was a wrestler for the ages. His Hall of Fame speech still gives me goosebumps to this very day. Although I was never in the wrestling business, there is a strange nostalgic bond I have with these crazy larger than life characters. Even though they don’t know me, I feel like I somehow know them. They almost feel like distant uncles you only see every other Christmas. I guess that’s why I still follow wrestling today. Not as religiously as I once did, mind you, but I’ll always follow the product and be a fan for life. Always looking for that chance to jump out of my chair and mark out like I’m five years old again watching Hulkamania reign supreme. The WWF (now WWE) has given me many fond memories over the years. Whether you like or dislike pro wrestling, there exists a special brotherhood and fraternity within wrestling circles. You see it clear as day through Bret’s stories. Every week these guys and gals go on the road, traveling thousands of miles, sacrificing their bodies, their families and more. To all the wrestlers out there, and especially to Bret “The Hitman” Hart, thank you for everything. Through all the ups and downs I will forever be a fan.
Today marks the official release of the highly touted superhero film, Spider-Man: Homecoming. It’s only fitting to review one of his many SNES games. But which one? Well, I’m going to go with an obscure Super Famicom only title that not too many are aware of. Most of us retro gamers know that there were five Spider-Man games released on the Super Nintendo. Few know about the Japanese exclusive The Amazing Spider-Man: Lethal Foes. Before we take a closer look let’s quickly run down the five more well known Spider-Man games on the SNES.
Spider-Man and the X-MenSpider-ManMaximum CarnageSeparation AnxietyMarvel Super Heroes
Marvel Comics proudly presents…
HE’S YOUR FAVORITE… HE’S MY FAVORITE…
[Wait, what?! -Ed.]
Sorry, Spidey. Let’s try this again.
[Do those even exist any more? -Ed.]
Nope, you can’t.
Alright, on with the show. The Amazing Spider-Man: Lethal Foes features nine short stages.
Gee, can it be any smaller?
[That’s what she said -Ed.]
Because he can cling to any wall he touches, Spider-Man feels a bit sticky. Each button is put to use. The web attack is very small and there seems to be an odd delay. This is especially discernible when shooting in mid-air.
Still, the web shooter has its moments. Just don’t ever use it during boss battles — it’s way too slow leaving you exposed. The bosses also have a sixth sense regarding the web shooter. Before you can barely raise his wrist, they’re on Spider-Man like white on rice. The web attack should have been better implemented but it does prove effective where speed is not a factor.
Useful hereAs well as hereUnlike Mega Man…… he can shoot upWhy hello thereLove to chat but gotta run
OTHER MOVES IN THE PLAYBOOK
Eat your heart out, Tarzan
The shoulder buttons send Spider-Man to the air: L for left and R for right. It’s fun to toy with but honestly other than the first level you can get by fine without it.
Flying Shoulder TackleUppercut (Are You Conners!)Cling to surfacesCrawl under tight spots“SHHHHHH!”The trusty ol’ bootHe’s stickier than sticky rice
His tendency to cling on to any surface makes him a bit sticky at times but I guess one could argue it’s more authentic this way. It certainly makes for a slightly cumbersome playing experience, though.
Spider-Man stays trim by breaking into brisk jogs.
Spider-Man’s pain threshold allows him to incur a lot of damage.
Lots of cameos throughoutWhen did he learn Japanese?
So it looks decent, eh? Unfortunately, some flaws hamper the experience.
As mentioned, Spider-Man is a bit sticky. At inopportune times he can cling to unwanted spots. This results in wrestling with the controller to get him back on track. Some cheap hits may occur during this process
The enemy roster is lacking in both quantity and quality
The timer forces the player to rush through the levels, giving one little time to enjoy the various sights and sounds. The levels are short to begin with, so the timer only makes the game that much shorter. The timer doesn’t reset when you meet up with the boss so you REALLY have to rush through the levels, or else pay the penalty of the timer expiring. It’s unnecessarily lame if you ask me
The boss battles are of the “mindless press attack rapidly” variety. I was quite disappointed with the lack of imaginative and stimulating boss fights. On the higher difficulty levels the AI is ridiculously cheap, too
Speaking of the bosses, here’s the first five:
BeetleLizardMysterioSmythe
GREEN GOBLIN! One of my favorite Spider-Man foes.
Shout-out to Lizard!
The levels contain your standard fare clichés seen in many other action titles. The portal set pieces in level 3-2, however, displayed the kind of absorbing creativity I was hoping the rest of the game would have.
First, you must kick the switch to activate the door above. Move it — the door doesn’t stay open for long!
Shortly thereafter, a second portal appears. Spider-Man is no dummy, however. His spider senses inform him this second portal is a bit shady. And he’s right. Touch the second portal and you’re whisked right back to the first one.
Granted, this is nothing new but it’s these little moments that I enjoy in these sort of games to break up the cookie cutter tedium. I just wish there was more of this in Lethal Foes.
It had potential to be special
My favorite level is the second stage. You’re dumped into a sewer maze littered with multiple passages. Some are dead-ends with money or health bonuses. Others are dead-ends with enemies waiting to pounce on you. The rest will take you toward your goal of reaching the exit. Due to the open-ended chaotic nature of the sewer stage, Lethal Foes suddenly became a lot more thrilling and gratifying to play.
This was also the only stage where I didn’t mind the time limit. It made it that much more of a tense stage. For the other levels designs, however, the timer didn’t work for me and just ended up as a negative.
It’s a real shame, then, that the game’s level design fluctuates so wildly. A great game has an engaging and captivating design throughout, but especially moreso as the game progresses. Well, I’m not sure what happened here. Some levels make you cheer quietly in your seat while others sadly have you scratching your head wondering if the developers just wanted to call it quits.
For example, in one stage Spider-Man goes through a park. It’s all linear. All you do is walk right, beat up the odd villain here and there, and finally it’s the boss. And it’s yet another “punch him rapidly” affair. What gives? Why is one level so fun, like the Sewer, and the next so dull, like the Park? Due to such a dramatic swing, you wonder what could have been if the game had better level design consistently throughout.
Therefore, I think you all know where I’m going with this. Lethal Foes is a mixed bag. You take the good with the bad. If you’re a hardcore SNES and Spider-Man fan then you’ll certainly find some merit here. However, don’t explode it to rock your world. It had a lot of potential but ultimately falls way short. Still, not a bad game at all.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
So much for my homecoming
Someone on the internet over a decade ago once called Lethal Foes “the best 2D Spider-Man game ever.” I’m not nearly as impressed. The developer, Agenda, could have fleshed out certain ideas better to keep players more enthralled. More frames of animation, more imaginative boss fights and smoother control would have gone a long way. Lethal Foes could easily have been a “hidden obscure gem” but it just doesn’t have the remarkable playability to back it up.
I think I am turning Japanese…
But for all the negative points I raised, I like Lethal Foes in a guilty pleasure sort of way. It doesn’t break any new ground but it plays just well enough to be enjoyable.
But really there are so many action titles out there that are better AND easier to obtain, so classify Lethal Foes under the “For diehard fans and collectors only” file.
Spider-Man: Homecoming hits theatres tomorrow on July 7, 2017. The masked superhero has a famous saying: “Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” It’s a perfect time to share a Nintendo story from my youth. It’s a story that’s going to be featured in Jeffrey Wittenhagen’s upcoming Nintendo book. Thank you Jeff for allowing me the honor to be a small part of another one of your great books. To all my readers here on RVGFanatic, here’s my story in full below!
Chilling right before the feature presentation
YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD NINTENDO MAN
I’m instantly bombarded by a tidal wave of memories whenever I think about the 8-bit Nintendo. Like so many others, I grew up on the NES in the late ‘80s. Born in 1983, I was just old enough to appreciate the NES when it started hitting its stride in North America circa 1987. I have fond memories of all those lazy carefree Sunday mornings spent playing the likes of Contra, Mega Man 2 and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! just to name a few. Nintendo help made my childhood fun and memorable. Back then gaming was a brand new experience to me. There were no fancy 3D graphics, no complex controller layouts and no lengthy 10 minute tutorials to sit through. The NES gave you two buttons; all you had to do was press start and you were good to go. Sometimes simplicity can’t be beat. There aren’t a lot of bells and whistles — the NES is proof that a game doesn’t have to be overly fancy or complicated in order to be great.
ContraMega Man 2Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
My uncle bought a Nintendo for me and my brother in 1987. I still remember the humble collection we managed to amass through the years…
Double DragonDouble Dragon II: The RevengeDuck HuntDynowarzGotcha!KarnovKung FuLegendary WingsMighty Bomb JackRobo WarriorSolomon’s KeySuper Mario Bros.Super Mario Bros. 3Tag Team Pro WrestlingTeenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesWWF WrestleMania
My childhood is filled with fond memories of myself, Uncle Jimmy and my brother Kevin switching off for hours on end as we sat glued to our television set playing the latest NES titles. Hell, the NES was the ORIGINAL Nintendo “Switch.” After all, those halcyon days were all about switching off with my brother and uncle on Contra as we attempted to save the universe on a nightly basis back in the summer of 1989. Hanging out with my uncle and brother blasting alien scum to Kingdom Come was some of the greatest times of my childhood.
Gotta kill ‘em all!
Another fond memory I carry with me were all the rental stores that populated my area. There had to be a good 10 video stores all within a 30 mile radius back in the late ‘80s where I lived. From the established titans of the industry (Blockbuster) to all the little quirky mom and pop shops, it was an entertainment mecca with more goodies than you could watch or play to cover the span of ten lifetimes.
My actual childhood Hollywood Video!
My favorite store of the lot hands down was Evergreen Video. I blame Evergreen Video and its owner, Tom, just a common man working hard for the American dream, as the source that corrupted me. One day in the late ’80s my dad was driving me and my brother around. We spotted Evergreen Video by chance when we made a pit stop in a small plaza to pick up a few items. I had never seen Evergreen Video before but on that day there it stood. Its big bold green letters silently called out to me and my brother, beckoning us over. We found ourselves breaking into a brisk stroll as we made a beeline for the store, our legs suddenly on a mission of their own.
The renting craze began on that fateful day
I can still hear the little chime that rung each time someone entered the store. It was a quaint shop with lots of family videos. You were immediately greeted upon entry by four tall wooden shelves that began near the entrance and ended close to the register counter, which sat roughly 60-70 feet straight ahead. Two columns of towering tan shelves rested on each side of the store, freeing the middle aisle for a clear walk to the counter and a good look at the man who owned the store, Tom. Rocking brown rimmed spectacles and a beard like it was 2014, Tom became something of an uncle figure to me and Kevin. You would often find Tom invariably sporting a flannel shirt of one kind or another. In fact, he was the spitting image of Al Borland (played by Richard Karn) from the ‘90s TV sitcom, Home Improvement, only with glasses.
Tom looked a lot like Richard Karn (with glasses)
Up front and to the right sat a small wooden shelf. There Tom kept his collection of 30-40 NES games. Tucked away in a corner, it was this little heavenly nook that my brother and I always made a mad scramble for every Saturday afternoon. The smell of the oak wood shelves permeates to this day. If there was ever a quintessential mom and pop rental store, Evergreen Video surely was it.
Evergreen’s NES selection was quaint but inviting
Tom worked there every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. And no matter what, we could always count on seeing his big smile greeting us behind the register counter whenever he saw us trampling in. I still remember some of the games I rented from Evergreen Video…
BeetlejuiceTMNT II: The Arcade GameTotally RadWerewolf: The Last Warrior
… just to name some. Back then there was no YouTube or anything to really scope these games out. You basically rented them on a whim based on the cover art and how cool the back of the box looked. It made for hit and miss rentals and some crazy times. You just never knew what you were going to get. In some regard it was almost like the Wild Wild West back then!
Some boxes look great but the game, not so muchI was a sucker for them bright yellow covers!
There was a certain purity to those days that I miss. The same can be said for the purity that courses through the 8-bit veins of the NES itself. Timing is everything in life — the Nintendo and the late ’80s simply went hand in hand and everything else that came along with it, including mom and pop shops.
Tom was so good to us; he even held games for me and Kevin. My brother would call and ask for a game and if Tom had said game then he would hold it for us. I remember him telling us once, with a big smile, “Only for you guys.” Maybe he said that to every kid customer of his, but damnit I like to think he meant what he said. And I don’t doubt that he did because that’s just the kind of guy Tom was.
He always served with a smile
There’s one story in particular that I’ll never forget. One time we came in to pick up TMNT II: The Arcade Game. We met Tom’s son that day. He was playing the game on the small TV that sat behind the register counter. I felt so bad when he was forced to turn the game off just so we could rent it. He was on the snowfield level battling the wolf boss, Tora. I remember Tora flashing and blinking red as Tom told his very own flesh and blood, “Sorry but these boys need to rent the game now.” I’ll never forget the poor kid looking absolutely crushed, wanting to carry on like any TMNT loving kid would, but he respected his dad far too much to disobey. I always felt guilty about that! Tom had this incredible knack of making me and Kevin feel like we were part of his family. It was top-notch service the likes of which you can’t buy. The kind of genuine service you can only find at a mom and pop shop.
Man I still feel guilty about this!
Being huge fans of Double Dragon II, Kevin and I couldn’t wait for Double Dragon III. When it finally arrived in early 1991, my dad took us to Evergreen Video to rent a copy. The drive home was filled with visions of spinning roundhouse kicks and crazy throws galore, but alas, when we popped the game in it refused to play for some reason. My dad promptly called Evergreen Video to inform Tom about the situation and Tom told us to come back for a no-frills exchange. We ended up picking Battletoads as a replacement rental. While we were disappointed that we couldn’t play the eagerly anticipated Double Dragon III, we made the most out of that weekend. More importantly, Tom’s great customer service and integrity once again shined like a thousand stars shimmering in the night sky.
Battletoads kept us entertained
But here’s the part that blows my mind. A few weeks later we made our usual Saturday afternoon trek to Evergreen Video. Tom surprised us when he revealed a brand new copy of Double Dragon III — reserved just for us! He said he was waiting on us to come by because he knew how disappointed we were that his previous copy didn’t work. He wanted to make things right, but he already did that with the Battletoads exchange. It exemplifies the kind of upstanding man Tom was. He always went above and beyond the call of duty. If Yelp existed back in 1991, Evergreen Video would have gotten 5 stars all day! As for Double Dragon III, let’s just say some sequels disappoint.
Bittersweet memories…
Early 1992 was an interesting time. There was a changing of the guard. You could feel the shift in the winds, and you could see the writing on the wall. The 8-bit NES was being phased out for the brand new 16-bit Super Nintendo. And with it, Evergreen Video. Business wasn’t booming for Tom in early 1992 as it was in the late ’80s. When the Super Nintendo came to the US in late 1991, Tom bought some SNES games to keep up with the times. I rented Ultraman and sadly that was the last game I would ever rent from Evergreen Video. The beginning of one era (the SNES) marked the ending for another (Evergreen Video).
The infamous last game I rented
One innocuous Saturday afternoon in early 1992 my dad took me and Kevin to Evergreen Video to return Ultraman. Unfortunately, that trip proved to be our last. Tom told us he and the family were moving on. But because I was so young I didn’t really grasp his heartfelt admission. I just assumed he would still be there next Saturday and the Saturday after that. Because it’s Tom. And that’s what Tom does. After all, he’s your friendly neighborhood Nintendo man.
But reality crushed me when my mom took me shopping in that same plaza a week later. I stole a glance inside the remains of Evergreen Video. What was once a simple but lovely store that provided me with so many good memories was now a broken, fragmented shell of its former glory. A part of me expected to still see the wooden shelves and Tom’s friendly mug situated behind the register counter. Instead, what I found that day was an empty store torn down in shambles, the floor littered with debris. I felt like crying as I peered in through the glass pane. I lost a little bit of innocence that day. From that moment on I forever realized that things don’t last forever, no matter how much you want them to.
A harrowing sight indeed
The last time I visited that plaza was June 2008. I had just graduated from college with a teaching credential. My cousins wanted to celebrate the occasion by eating at a Chinese restaurant. Of all the places they could have chosen, of course it had to be at a restaurant in that small plaza near the defunct remains of Evergreen Video. But of course. It was a surreal night. I just graduated from college and was looking forward to the future. But returning to that childhood plaza for the first time in what had to be over a decade got me far more emotional than I thought possible. After dinner my cousins declared a movie night at their place. But having unfinished business, I told them I would drop by later. As they drove off I stood outside the restaurant all by my lonesome. I slowly turned my gaze to the classic spot where Evergreen Video once proudly stood ages ago. My heart started racing as I knew what stood before me: I was on the verge of facing a huge part of my childhood for quite possibly the last time ever. I knew what I had to do…
It was a surreal night. Unbelievably surreal
The building was vacant. I peered inside as memories came flooding back. I saw a montage in my own mind playing. Rushing in, pushing the door open, hearing the chime of the bell and being greeted by Tom’s friendly smile. Making a beeline for the NES games, admiring the art on the boxes and hoping you would pick a good game to play for that weekend. All those images flashed in my mind one after the other. And then I was snapped back to reality. I said a quick silent thank you to Tom. Turning my back to the store, I stood there for a minute to take in the cool early evening air.
Taking it all in… one last final time
I reminisced about the past while also eagerly anticipating the future. I had just graduated and was on my way to achieving my childhood dream of having my own classroom, my own students to teach and to be a positive male influence in their lives. Not unlike how Tom was to me all those years ago in his own unique way. Alas, as the final shards of sunlight pierced the storefront, I decided that was enough reflection for one night. Placing my childhood memories back in the box, I texted my cousins that I was heading over and made my way to my car. I stole one last glance at the place where Evergreen Video once stood tall and proud. I gave Evergreen Video one final knowing nod as the engine roared. The night was still young… and so was I.
Farewell, Evergreen Video. Thanks for the memories
That fateful June evening of 2008 was the last time I visited that small plaza where Evergreen Video once stood. It’s crazy that it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve been back to that area. I’ve since gone on to fulfill my dreams of becoming a teacher. I like to think Tom, wherever he is, would be proud of me. To this day I have no idea where he is or even what he’s up to. I never knew his last name. It’s been over 25 years since I last saw the man. It’s sad to think there’s even a chance he may no longer be alive. But wherever he is, in whatever state or space, I hope he’s doing well and at peace.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Happy trails, Tom
Tom was a uncle figure to me and Kevin growing up, and Evergreen Video became much more than a mom and pop video store. It was a connection and bond held between strangers turned family. A bond that formed much like the bond that video games can help forge between people from different walks of life. And the NES certainly did that. Whenever I think back to my childhood, I invariably think about the NES, Tom and Evergreen Video. It was a different era. A simpler time. I’m grateful that I got to experience gaming’s golden age growing up. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Long live Nintendo, and long live the memories of Tom and Evergreen Video.
Everyone has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth
It’s hard to fathom that come this October, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! will turn the big 3-0. Wow, where does the time go? Growing up, my brother and friends adored Mario. Don’t get me wrong — I loved the Italian plumber myself, but when it came to the NES it was always about three games that truly cemented me as a gamer for life. Contra, Mega Man 2 and of course, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! I recently reviewed the sequel, Super Punch-Out!!, so it’s only fitting to return to the original and remember why it’s arguably the greatest boxing video game of all time.
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE
The Man, The Myth, The Menace
We came for Mike Tyson. We stayed for Little Mac.
Co-starring Carl Otis Winslow!
#mychildhood
MINOR CIRCUIT
Ah, Glass Joe. Nintendo’s greatest jobber.
Joe’s facial expressions are priceless.
Love seeing that spit flying out!
Mario moonlighting as a ref was so cool.
Von Kaiser is a big step up from Joe.
Earn stars for Mac’s Super Uppercut.
23-13? About to go 23-14.
Dodging like a smooth criminal.
Control is crazy on point.
Knock off his mustache!
Piston Honda was serious business.
So intimidating the first time you see him!
Snapping his massive head back felt so sweet.
Piston’s infamous flurry of jabs.
He polishes it off with a gigantic uppercut.
Love the way he back peddles before falling.
Looks like Paul Bunyan with those huge feet!
Ah, the classic training sequence.
MAJOR CIRCUIT
Don Flamenco has a face you just want to punch.
He gave off such a douche and creep vibe!
Give him that electrocution hair.
One of my childhood friends looked like King Hippo.
King Hippo’s defense is top-notch.
Until it isn’t. Classic moment!
One knock-out and he’s done for.
Great Tiger used to give me fits.
Love how his eyes bug out when you drill him.
His teleportation trick was a bit trippy.
Look for his turban to flash…
One of the all-time great NES villains!
Such an imposing sight the very first time!
Did this feel good or what?
He’s got buggy eye syndrome, too.
The Bull Charge is such an iconic move.
As was the counter for it!
WORLD CIRCUIT
Note: You’ll have rematches with Piston Honda and Don Flamenco in this circuit. However, I’ll skip showing them again even though they are slightly tweaked to be more difficult second time around.
Soda Popinksi. What an all-time great name!
He scared me as a kid…
He always whupped my ass.
“Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.” He’ll be glad to.
Enjoy this while you can.
He’s a tough bastard!
He’s no Randy Savage, though.
They just keep getting bigger and bigger.
Watch out for his Macho Spin Punch.
Whew!
A NES rite of passage.
Making it this far was impressive alone.
Hey, he’s not so bad…
Yeah, right. Gotta be super fast!
Arguably the most intense NES final boss battle.
You were a legend if you could beat Tyson legit.
My brother’s friend was able to make it to Tyson on a few occasions. Just getting to Iron Mike was an accomplishment in and of itself. Being able to land a few blows was enough to earn you a couple high fives. Tyson is very fast and very hard to hit, let alone knock out. If anyone ever did, they became a gawd damn legend. No one in my group could ever do it, and it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Tyson terrorized many Nintendo kids growing up in the ’80s. He’s the stuff nightmares are made of.
Show him who’s boss, Mac!
TELL ‘IM, DOC LOUIS!
In-between rounds Doc Louis will give you tips.
Gotta love the added damage to the avatars!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! is one of my favorite NES games of all time. I love the 8-bit Nintendo but if I were to be perfectly honest a large portion of its library has not aged well. To be frank, some have aged downright terribly. However, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! stands the test of time even nearly 30 years later. From the huge sprites to the different strategies one must adopt from fighter to fighter, there’s no denying this is one of the all-time classics. A truly great game never goes out of style. No matter how much time passes by, it remains as playable and fun as ever. Few games can claim that. This game can. It’s always hard to admit when a childhood favorite fails to live up to standards. In this case, there are thankfully no nostalgia goggles. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! is still a TKO even three decades after its initial release. That says it all, really.
OVERALL: 9.5
Whisper sweet nothings into my ear, DocRock on Rocky, er, Little Mac
. The great Mean Gene Okerlund has seen and heard it all in this great business, but even he is taken aback by this rabid fan response. The crowd is absolutely LIT here in Chicago tonight.
