Puzzle’n Desu! (SFC)

One of the best Super Famicom games hardly anyone ever talks about
One of the best Super Famicom games hardly anyone ever talks about

You know, there are a lot of “hidden gems” on the Super Nintendo. Many are no longer “obscure” because they’ve received their just due and praise over the course of the past decade or so. But there remains a few titles that I still see don’t get the kind of recognition that they so richly deserve. Puzzle’n Desu! is one such game. It’s truly one of the best games on the system that you might have yet to play, or even heard of before. There’s a reason why the box says “Ultimate Cool Puzzle Game.” Hey, them some bold words. But if any puzzle game can live up to such a high title, it’s this one.

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Hell of a brain teaser, this one. You move the little guy on the left around a giant square arena, trying to match all the like colors. You can only push one block at a time, and it’ll travel until it’s stopped by a wall or block.

Three like colors, minimum, are required to make a successful match. Sometimes there are four instead of three, so you must connect all four. Match only three in this instance and you’ll fail (as there would be one block remaining).

Let’s take a look at the first few stages.

STAGE ONE

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If you can’t figure out how to solve this first level…

STAGE TWO

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I like the way the blocks disappear. The little visual effect is always a welcomed sight. Hey, it’s the small stuff, right?

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The blue blocks are a cinch as you can see… but the pink ones… what to do…

Set them up as such
Set them up as such

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There you go, now this pink formation is ripe for the pickings. Can you solve the rest? As you can imagine, the later puzzles become murderous.

Interestingly enough, this mode can be played with up to three friends. I believe this is the only Super Nintendo action puzzle game that allows you to do such a thing. Very cool stuff!

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

An ace 4-player battle mode is included! Much more than a mere afterthought, this can rival Bomberman believe it or not! The goal is simple. Squish your opponent(s) via block pushing. The winner is the sole survivor. And for good measure, you get 10 different stage designs, whose block placement is randomly generated, enabling countless variants! (similar to the map system of the beloved WORMS franchise).

B = push

A = moves a block around you

Note the “A” command is only valid in the battle mode, for obvious reasons. Also, even in this mode blocks will disappear when accidentally or purposely matched. Awesome continuity.

Here are the 10 battle zones:

BATTLE ZONE 1

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It’s your typical no-frills, no gimmicks first basic stage.

BATTLE ZONE 2

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Blue blocks with the % marks are immovable.

BATTLE ZONE 3

desu-stage3

The ice blocks dissipate when pushed against a wall or block. I like this stage.

BATTLE ZONE 4

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The arrows determine the path of destruction. It’s very Super Bomberman-esque.

BATTLE ZONE 5

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Those arrows affect block AND player movement — nice!

BATTLE ZONE 6

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The arrow blocks here can only be pushed in the direction they’re pointing. The numbered blocks travel their respective number (i.e. 3 spaces). Very interesting, and rather different!

BATTLE ZONE 7

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Teleporters! Bomberman is rolling over in his grave ;)

BATTLE ZONE 8

Great gimmick here. Arrows guide block movement. Easy to kill yourself if you don’t watch it. When walking on arrows, they act like butter, sliding you in their set direction.

BATTLE ZONE 9

desu-stage9
The blocks here can be pushed despite touching each other. They fly across and through the screen disappearing whether they’ve crushed someone or not. Arguably the most chaotic stage due to its potential of numerous blocks zooming by at break-neck speed in all directions!

BATTLE ZONE 10

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A veritable smorgasbord of the other battle arenas. Good stuff.

D’OH!

Unfortunately, this mode is restricted to human players. Why they didn’t allow computer opponents is a mystery. But it’s better than nothing. Like Bomberman, 2 to 4 can play, with the win total required for a stage adjustable from 1 through 10.

To cap things off, a create-your-own-stage option is available.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Puzzle'n Desu! is an awesome little game
Puzzle’n Desu! is too sweet

I love this game. The ability for a 4 player mode in the regular game and a Bomberman-esque 4 player “free for all” mode really makes this game stand out from the crowd. These games possess a purity I can’t help but love. They’re simply brilliant and brilliantly simple (yet complex). If you love pitting your logic skills to the test, and especially if you have gaming buds, hunt this gem down. From what I understand though, it’s rather scarce.

It’s not perfect, though. I am not a big fan of the timer. I feel like these action puzzle games benefit greatly when you’re able to take your sweet time and start contemplatively at the screen until inspiration strikes with the resolute “AH-HA!” Also didn’t like the fact that the 4-player battle mode is exclusive to humans only. I mean, it would be lovely to be able to play this mode on a lazy Tuesday night when it’s just you and your Super Nintendo. But at the end of the day, at least the mode is there as an option.

All in all, Puzzle’n Desu! truly rocks. And deserves a little more recognition in the retro gaming community. Highly recommended!

Dossun! Ganseki Battle (SFC)

Before there was Puzzle Fighter...
Before Puzzle Fighter

Dossun! Ganseki Battle is an awesome puzzle game. It feels like sort of a beta version of Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. Not as good but for its time it was a damn fine puzzler. Let’s take a closer look.

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The game intro reveals a demon trying to conquer the land (supposedly). Jeez, don’t these demons have anything better to do? At any rate, there isn’t much Japanese but interestingly enough there is a fan translated version floating out there. Not that you need it but it’s there if you want the full English experience.

This game has a unique battle system. Two ways to claim victory:

  • The opposing player’s well fills up
  • Their energy bar hits rock bottom

Energy bar? In a puzzler? Say whaaaa??

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Like Puzzle Fighter, the attacker sends over a spiffy, er, attack.

Eliminating 3 or more like pieces have varying results:

  • Green Rocks: Sends forth a dragon (see above)
  • Red Scrolls: Fireballs
  • Yellow Swords: Piercing swords
  • Blue Potion: Replenishes your health slightly (if needed)
  • Purple Squares: No effect whatsoever

ONE PLAYER MODE

Select from 3 heroes
Select from 3 heroes
Battle the numerous evil doers
Battle the numerous evil doers
The loser is paid a visit from ol' Grimsy
The loser meets ol’ Grimsy

TWO PLAYER MODE

Everyone is up for grabs
Every character is playable

TODAY’S SPECIAL

I like this cool effect (see the purple)
I like this cool effect

Most puzzle games have a special piece or power. Dossun is no different. When you have a special pellet stored, pressing R clears every purple square. Although the graphics could easily be confused for an early Mega Drive title, this visual effect is somewhat noteworthy.

DO A COMBO MEAL

Like fighting games, special moves are a good way to inflict damage but the best players utilizes devastating combos. The same applies here. While clearing 3 pieces at a time is fine and dandy, pulling off 3-plus chain reactions is the meal ticket. Diagonal matches yield the best results if you set yourself proper.

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Observe this lethal chain. The green rocks match diagonally and disappear.

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The yellow sword drops, connecting with 2 other swords.

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The swords’ elimination drops the red scroll… forming a crushing 5-PIECE horizontal and diagonal red match to end the 3 hit chain.

PICK A FIGHT

After completing a big combo, the character enlarges and performs a fancy attack.

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dossunblock

HANG IN THERE

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Major attacks result in leaving the opposition hanging.

[By a moment! Desperate for changing, chasing after you… ahem, sorry -Ed.]

ANY REQUESTS?

There’s only one music theme throughout the entire game, and it can get tedious. When someone’s energy bar flashes, the music breaks into a frenzy, sounding much better and adding nicely to the tension. But the regular music is a bit “meh.”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"It was ICE knowing ya!"
“It was ICE knowing ya!”

It’s essentially COLUMNS with a medieval fantasy battle theme. Dossun! Ganseki Battle really grew on me; I found myself saying “one more game” several times. It’s amazingly addicting. Sure the graphics and music are nothing to write home about but the gameplay is largely enjoyable and that’s what it’s all about. Definitely one of the finer puzzle games you could play on the Super Nintendo and one that should be in your collection if you like the genre even an iota.

Sweet game!

Clock Tower (SNES)

A night when evil roamed the streets...
“A night when pure EVIL roamed the streets…”

Halloween is almost here. It’s one of my favorite days of the year. And this game is perfect to play on Halloween night. In the late ’90s I bought Clock Tower for the PlayStation and played it to death (pardon the pun). It was a few years later that I discovered the first Clock Tower originated on the Super Famicom. Thanks to the efforts of some diehard SNES fanatics, the game has long since been translated into English for the rest of us to enjoy. And enjoy it we did. One of the true Halloween staples in any video gaming collection, Clock Tower delivers one creepy and tense adventure the likes of which few SNES games can claim!

The legend is born
The legend is born

Clock Tower combined two things I absolutely love. It resembles a horror movie — I like its creepy villain, SCISSORMAN, almost as much as Michael Myers — and it’s on my favorite system of all time, the Super Nintendo. What more could I ask for, right? Unfortunately, the game never received a North American release. By the time it came out in Japan on September 14, 1995, the SNES was quickly losing steam as the 32-bit machines gained more and more momentum. That and, of course, there was no chance (even with the Play It Loud! movement) that Clock Tower was going to get approved by Nintendo of America! What a shame it never saw American soil because this is one of the most unique and original efforts on the Super Nintendo. But thanks to the fan translation scene, we can now experience this macabre game in all its gory glory.

Here comes the boogeyman...
Here comes the boogeyman…

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love the HALLOWEEN series. Uncle Jimmy let me rent the first one back in 1989. I spent more than half the movie hiding behind the sofa with one hand covering my eyes. I even had a nightmare of Halloween‘s iconic madman, Michael Myers, later that night. And I was hooked. Go figure. I dreamt about someone turning the Halloween concept into a video game. I mean, how awesome would it be to take control of a protagonist who is constantly being chased by a masked maniac? That every room you enter he could be lurking in the shadows… watching and studying your every move… waiting for the right moment to jump out and slit your throat wide open. Clock Tower delivers that sense of dread and drama in spades!

What a thing of beauty
What a thing of beauty

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MY -FIRST FEAR- WITH CLOCK TOWER

This was my favorite PlayStation game
This was my favorite PlayStation game

My first exposure to Clock Tower was in 1997. I’ll never forget it. From the moment I read its splendid three page ad in EGM #97 (August ’97), I was hooked. Seriously the best advertisement ever. I knew I had to buy the game then, and it was the only PlayStation game I ever cared enough to buy! The ad is so awesome that I am going to replicate parts of it below.

CRIMSON FOUNTAINS OF GORE

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A bright plume of warm crimson rain erupted as the giant scissors rent the flesh of his next victim… this is certainly not the game for the timid or weak of stomach! From corpses at your bedroom door to half eaten bodies in the restroom, ASCII has packed Clock Tower to the belfry with some of the most gruesome and spectacular graphics of the year! Watch in horror as the limping gait of the immortal Scissorman approaches your present hiding place — only to see the bright fountain of your own blood if he happens to find you! Any horror fan will quickly recognize the brilliance of the programmer’s virtuoso performance in the lighting, shadowing, angles, and sheer volume of gruesome content! Lots of animation and full 3D polygons were used to bring the bloody, murderous surroundings to life. This, in conjunction with the well detailed backgrounds and characters, will have you at the edge of your seat — praying that you make it through the night!

THE HORROR OF SILENCE

The chilling sound of the banshee’s scream itself couldn’t have been more dreadful than the sound of the sheering scrape of sharpened steel blades sliding past each other — not to mention the wonderful effect of pure silence in some of the most chillingly tense scenes of the game. There’s something terribly dreadful in the sound of your own two feet echoing through some of the most profoundly evil halls ever wrought, and I couldn’t agree more with the programmers when they spoke of theTerror of Sound” which they labored for in this game! ASCII’s purpose in the sound scheme of this game is fairly easy to understand… with sounds that aren’t there when they should be, sounds in impossible places, the chilling music of the chase, and the haunting scrape of the Scissorman himself as he stalks you with inhuman determination… they want to scare you out of your skin!

Of course, the voice-overs and sound effects of the surrounding environments are a beautiful addition to the already impressive audio display. The tightly knit unison of background noise, voices, sound of movement, music and silence create a living auditory atmosphere that will draw you into the world of terror on the screen right before you.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

Talk about losing your head...
Talk about losing your head…

In a game where one false move could easily mean the difference between escape and grisly death, control is of paramount importance. This is another area where Clock Tower excels! From fleeing down dark corridors and hiding in shower stalls, to hurling chairs and brawling with your would be assailant, the full range of movement offered by Clock Tower will leave you breathless with the fight or flight instinct. For those who like to hide, just try to avoid hiding in the same spot too many times in a row. Scissorman has a limited IQ, but he’s not that stupid!

Also remember to check every nook and cranny for items that you may be able to use later. With a little help, you might just live to see the light of tomorrow.

Next time use a napkin, will ya?
Next time use a napkin, will ya?

A series of brutal murders have signaled the return of one of the most terrifying killers in the history of Romsdaaren, Norway — Scissorman! Terror gripped the hearts of the mixed party of ten as they finally reached the unholy walls of the Barrow’s family mansion in England. No one could have imagined the unspeakable horrors that lay behind the infamous Scissorman case when the malevolent butcherings had begun. Now, the dreadful search for the answers had culminated into a lynching party that brought them all here, to the very doorstep of Hell itself. Would they finally find the key to send this twisted soul back to the nether regions of death that had so maliciously spat him into their lives? Only time will tell…

EGM gave it scores of 8.5, 8.0, 8.0 and 6.0 in ish #98
EGM gave it scores of 8.5, 8.0, 8.0 and 6.0 in issue #98
Supercuts: Employee of the Month
Supercuts’ Employee of the Month

I have such great and fond memories with this game. As I said it was the only PlayStation game I ever bothered to buy. For a while there in ’98 it was all that I played. I used it to scare the living daylights out of my then 10 year old cousin, David. Uncle Jimmy, the one who rented Halloween for me back in ’89, used to visit us a lot back in the late ’90s. David would always come to watch me play this, only to run out screaming whenever Scissorman gave chase. Ahhh, the good old days eh? ;) So when I found out Clock Tower originated on the SNES, I simply had to get my hands on it.

THE STORY GOES…

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For some reason that sentence gives me the creeps
For some reason that sentence gives me the creeps
"Oh Lotte, cant I admire the trees for a bitI?"
“Oh Lotte, can’t I admire the trees for a bloody bit?”
"Would I ever lie to you, Jennifer?"
“Would I ever lie to you, Jennifer?”

Reminds me of a witch. Heebie jeebies...clocktintro7-c

 

 

 

 

 

There’s something about the way her finger is pointing that inexplicably gives me the heebie jeebies. Ms. Mary definitely has the low key witch vibe about her…

And surprise surprise, one by one they perish
And surprise surprise — one by one they perish
This game mastered the art of creating tension
This game mastered the art of creating tension
Your mom had 9 months and she chose Lotte?!
Your mom had 9 months and she chose Lotte?!
Clock Tower excels at building up the suspense
Clock Tower excels at building up the suspense
Yup... shit just hit the fan
Yup… shit just hit the fan
Use the cursor to check every inch of every room
Use the cursor to check every inch of every room
What a demonic looking tree. Reminds me of Doom's trees
What a demonic looking tree. Reminds me of Doom
You might wanna think about saving yourself!
You might wanna think about saving yourself!
And a (terrifying) legend is born ^_^
And a terrifying video game icon is born ^_^
Sometimes you can't help but feel you're being watched...
Sometimes ya can’t help but feel yer being watched
I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right?
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen, right?
The repeating "I'll get chu!" voice-over is pretty creepy
The repeating “I’ll get chu!” voice-over is pretty creepy
I hope PETA isn't reading this
I hope PETA isn’t reading this
These dreadful moments always bring me to the edge of my seat
These tense bits bring me to the edge of my seat
Well said, Ron Simmons. Well said
Well said, Ron Simmons. Well said
"... DAMN!" -Ron Simmons
“… DAMN!” -Ron Simmons
So fun playing this at 2 AM in the dark...
Who knew a 16-bit game could be so scary?
This is SO Jamie Lee Curtis-Michael Myers circa 1978!
This is SO Jamie Lee Curtis-Michael Myers circa 1978
Surely it will be a safe haven up there, no?
Surely it will be a safe haven up there, no?
SON OF A !
SON OF A BITCH!
Aw poor Jennifer. She's pretty much screwed here
Aw poor Jennifer. She’s pretty much screwed here
If you're already in the red zone, you're in the dead zone
In the red zone? Then you’re in the dead zone
 Then again, neither does hiding. Sometimes even then he'll get ya
Then again, hiding doesn’t always guarantee results

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“Puzzles” in Clock Tower are quite elementary [Good thing for you! Ha! -Ed.]

No Jennifer. That's just bird poop
No Jennifer. That’s just bird poop, my dear
I seen a scary film or two. Hit the lights!
I’ve seen a horror movie or two. Hit the lights!
Dang that's quite a big pocket you got there Jenny!
Dang that’s quite a big pocket you got there Jenny!
Looks like some kind of meat locker, but what's that inside?
Looks like a meat locker, but what’s that inside?
Scissorman isn't the only threat in this accursed mansion...
Scissorman isn’t the only threat in this mansion…
Hmmm, you'll need a special item to kill the bugs...
Hmmm, you’ll need a special item to kill the bugs…
Something shiny can be seen at the bottom...
Something shiny can be seen at the bottom…
Or is it simply part of a greater plan?
Or is it simply part of a greater plan?
Could be worse. They say man's the biggest monster of all...
1, 2… HE’S COMING FOR YOU…
Ah, young naive Jennifer, bless her heart
Ah, young naive Jennifer, bless her heart
Ms. Mary is a creepy old wretch in an effectively subtle way
She’s a creepy old wretch in an effectively subtle way
I knew something was wrong with that witch from the intro!
Girl don’t do it!
[OH NO YOU DIH-ENT!  *removes earrings*  -Shaniqua]
[OH NO YOU DIH-ENT! *removes earrings* -Shaniqua]
Yes Jennifer, take it AND SPLASH IT IN HER FACE!
Yes Jennifer, take it and SPLASH IT IN HER FACE!
[Uh, let's just return to the movie -Ed.]  [MMMM-HM -Shaniqua]
[Uh, back to our movie -Ed.]  [MMMM HMM -Shaniqua]
Ah Jenny. I sure hope you have a character arc like Laurie Strode did!
I hope Jen has a character arc like Laurie Strode did
Not two feet away from her sat a deranged and unkempt savage...
Not two feet away sits a deranged, unkempt savage
And could IT, whatever it is, be even WORSE than this guy?!
Whatever IT is, could it be even worse than this guy?!
One of the most cryptic messages in SNES history
One of the most cryptic messages in SNES history
I promise I'll never make fun of your name again!
I promise I’ll never make fun of your name again!
Lotte: Yeah, I saw a mad man limping around with HUGE shears!
I saw a mad man limping around with HUGE shears!
YES! FINALLY! JENNY'S CHARACTER ARC!
YES! FINALLY! JENNY’S CHARACTER ARC!
Laurie Strode, er, Jenny, has grown up before our very eyes *sniff*
Aw, Jenny has grown up before our very eyes *sniff*

[THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT GIRL!  -Shaniqua]
[THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT GIRL! -Shaniqua]
What happens next? Find out on your own! What secrets are tucked away in this mansion of unspeakable horrors? What’s the deal with Scissorman? Is someone pulling the strings? Was it Ms. Mary, or something far more demonic? Will you survive the grisly night to see the light of day? CLOCK TOWER awaits! Turn off the lights, crank up the sound and say a prayer…

WORKING THAT ROOM LIKE A PRO, BABY

Quick! Get that shoulder outta sight, Jen! Here comes the Scissorman...
Quick, hide that shoulder before Scissorman comes!
Not Halloween theme epic, but does its job well
Not Halloween theme epic, but does its job well
No other SNES game offers this kind of tension
No other SNES game offers this kind of tension
Pray he doesn't find you
What a drama queen, that Scissorman

WHAT THE CRIT — FANS SAID

Normally this is where I’ll put the game’s scores according to the “Super Three” (EGM, GameFan and Super Play Magazine — if applicable). But with Clock Tower being a special fan translated repo, I’ll cite some fan comments instead. The following haunting stories come from various gamers who have encountered Scissorman’s wrath over the years…

  • Clock Tower creates an underlying wave of fear throughout the game’s course, and there are certain scenes in the game that may act as a proverbial moon to bring in this terrifying tide. Clock Tower doesn’t pull any punches, and the horrifyingly real atmosphere of the Barrows’ mansion had me paranoid for at least a week! In fact, one of my friends who I first played the game with noted that the scariest part of the game was that almost everything in it can easily be connected to real life. Compounding off this, my first playthrough of the game was at a small party I held for six or seven close friends, and with the exception of one (she’s oddly impervious to that sort of shock value), we were all scared out of our wits. Clock Tower is just cool that way  -Amai Yuuwaku
  • Gloomy and ominous, Clock Tower is a wonderful experience for any fan of interactive horror, and well worth playing through whether as a longtime fan of the series or a wide-eyed newcomer  -Tachibana Ukyo
  • After playing through it for only a meager half-hour, I know that I am never going back to it! I am a bit tense when it comes to Hitchcock movies, and I must say, this game has a lot of Hitchcock-esque horror elements. Clock Tower doesn’t make the game scary with blood and gore, no sir. It’s just the sounds and sudden happenings that cause you to psychologically snap (a lot like Hitchcock movies!)  -Alain Garamonde
  • Clock Tower: the story of hope, betrayal and survival. The game revolves around Jennifer and a couple of her friends who get adopted by a family. They get to the mansion in the woods in hopes of a new, happy life. All seem well, until the group gets split up. That’s when they start to meet Scissorman. Instead of a happy life, what they got was a heart-pounding adventure. Their test was a test of wit and resourcefulness against the wrath of Scissorman  -xTurksx
  • I’m never scared by any horror video games. Never ever. So my friend bet me $20 at my birthday party that I would be scared by this game. I took that bet and I definitely lost that bet. This game is absolutely scary  -Windscar18
  • I didn’t know what to expect when I tried this game out. I found myself in control of a teenage girl all alone in a huge mansion, so I figured I was meant to go exploring. I went walking down the nearby hall, passing a couple of doors when all of a sudden this creepy music starts playing! Just like in a horror movie! So of course, like a total imbecile, I explored the door I was in front of when it began to play. I found myself in a hazy bathroom, and looked at the various fixtures. The only thing the cursor responded to was the closed shower curtains. So again like an imbecile, I went to look. The tub was full, but the person in it was hanging from her wrists from the shower curtain’s bar. Apparently it was one of the girl’s friends, but I didn’t have long to think about that. Suddenly this figure jumped out of the bathtub, brandishing a huge pair of scissors! It was a blue-skinned dwarfish being in a schoolboy’s outfit, with a four-foot-pair of scissors. This was the beginning of my Clock Tower experience…  -The Manx
  • I hate this game. I can’t tell you how much I do. That may be misleading, but I hate this game in a I’m-too-scared-to-turn-it-on way, not the I-don’t-want-to-play way. I’ve played Clock Tower for PlayStation. Clock Tower for the SNES is 4 times as good. This game really messed with my mind, and it reminded me of Maniac Mansion in its control scheme, but that’s a good thing. The interface is easy to control and actually fun, as you run through rooms chased by the maniacal Scissorman, trying to find a place to hide, with his shears getting louder and louder as he dogs your steps, the clicking on objects getting more frantic as you realize he’s just one room behind you… and then SNAP! DEAD END!  -Nevergrace
  • I type this as I look out my door on Christmas Eve. He’s coming. I can hear it. It’s been about two whole days since I’ve played the game, but I am still rather leery  -Lord Flamingo

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Grisly and grim, Clock Tower hits all the right notes
Grisly and grim, Clock Tower hits all the right notes

My fellow gamers above said it best. I echo many of their sentiments. Have you ever had one of those special gaming experiences you’ll never forget? Perhaps it was, in addition to the game itself, the weather, the season in your own life, or the place where it happened. Christmas 2010. I was sleeping over at my parents’ huge two story house, and that was the first time I went through Clock Tower from start to finish. Playing til 4:30 AM, every bloody sound that emanated from either the game or the house had me on the edge of my seat and peeking over my shoulder with much trepidation. It’s been a long time since I’ve been a little kid, but that night Scissorman sure made me feel like one. With multiple endings, a sinister masked maniac and a simple yet compelling story, the game draws you in like few others and then spits you out leaving you feeling exasperated, a bit uneasy, and completely satisfied.

The perfect SNES game to play on Halloween night
The perfect SNES game to play on Halloween night

Simply put, there is no other game quite like Clock Tower on the SNES. That alone makes it noteworthy. Throw in the fact how well it was executed and what you have here is one uniquely special game. Scissorman is easily one of the most memorable villains in SNES history. He waits in the shadows and pops out at the most (in)opportune moments. Grisly and horrifying deaths, high tension cat and mouse chase scenes, and not knowing for sure where Scissorman lurks makes Clock Tower great! The graphics are well done and give the game an ominous atmosphere. The sound will raise the hair up on the back of your neck. It’s not too long but the nine endings give incentive to replay. After that night at my parents’, I met up with my cousin David the following day. Yes, the same one I scared with PlayStation Clock Tower more than a decade ago. I told him how I spent much of last night playing the original Clock Tower on Super Nintendo and what an awesome experience that was, with the whipping rain outside, and I swear, just the mere mention of SCISSORMAN gave poor David a horrid flashback. Heck, I don’t blame him. Just saying Scissorman out loud gives me the heebie jeebies. Do what you gotta do to play this game and be sure to turn off the lights, lock your doors and pray for mercy!

Graphics: 8.5
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.5

Double Silver Award
Double Silver Award

 

 

 

THE SCISSORWOMAN?!?!

Imagine taking her home to mommy
Imagine taking her home to mommy

In 2007 a Japanese horror film was released based on a rumor that ran rampant throughout early 1980’s Japan — the Slit (or Severed) Mouth Woman! This horrible disfigured lady apparently roamed the streets of rural Japan looking for children to answer her one simple, deadly question: “AM I PRETTY?” The wrong response was met with grave consequences. Through comic books and magazines this became a popular urban myth. It became such a hysteria that ALL students were forbidden to go home alone and groups were formed for safety. There was even an incident where a lady chasing some kids was struck by a car. Her mouth was revealed to have been slit from ear to ear! Was it the Slit Mouth Woman?

Them eyes creep the hell out of me
Them eyes creep the hell out of me

This mysterious and deranged woman wore a surgical mask to cover her scar. In addition, she wielded a giant pair of scissors similar to Scissorman. Was Clock Tower influenced in any way by the Slit Mouthed Woman urban legend of 1980’s Japan? We don’t know for sure, but I can tell you this, the 2007 movie is creepy as hell! I saw it with my cousins (again, poor David) and they could barely finish it! As most Japanese horror films tend to be, and much like Clock Tower the game itself, the movie is something of a slow burn. But once it gets going, shit hits the fan. Some of the scenes still haunt me to this day. Even I felt a little uneasy… there’s something about the movie that makes you feel terribly unsettled…

Aw hell no
Aw hell no

The movie is known as “Carved.” There was also a sequel. It wasn’t too bad for a sequel, but much like Halloween itself, the original will always be the best. I recommend this film to horror buffs. It’s sick, twisted and if you happen to love Scissorman as much as I do, this is the closest we might ever get to seeing Scissorman in movie form. Who doesn’t love a good old fashion ghost story urban legend? I don’t know why but any movie taking place in rural Japan is automatically 50 times scarier and creepier than any American horror film. Those Japanese artists have some sick minds. Carved is a solid slasher and the fact that it’s based off a real Japan urban legend “Kuchisake Onna” makes it all the more unsettling and spooky.

Not even the kids were safe in this film
Not even the kids were safe in this twisted film

"AM I PRETTY???" [Sweet dreams tonight eh? -Ed.]
“AM I PRETTY???”
Click for more info on the Slit Mouthed Woman.

Warning: the following video is a bit creepy. Watch at your own discretion:

Sweet dreams indeed, eh?

Finally, looking for more Halloween-esque games to play on the SNES? I got you covered! Check out my SNES Halloween Special.

SD F-1 Grand Prix (SFC)

If Super Mario Kart met Chuck E. Cheeses...
If Super Mario Kart met Chuck E. Cheese’s…

If that sounds like an enticing combination to you (we can’t be friends if it isn’t) then SD F-1 Grand Prix is right up your alley. Sure, we never got the Super Mario Kart 2 on SNES as we desired back in the mid ’90s, but Video System released this clone on October 27, 1995 (nearly 21 years ago as I write this on October 23, 2016). It’s no Super Mario Kart (2) but it’s a decent alternative — hell, even an adequate companion piece to Super Mario Kart. Let’s examine and see why.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

They scared and fascinated me all at once
They scared and fascinated me all at once

If you grew up in the late ’80s and early ’90s in America then you probably have fond memories of hitting up Chuck E. Cheese’s as a kid. I know I sure did. It was the cheap pizza (which at the time felt like Heaven to a kid), the festive atmosphere and the ARCADES. It was an epic place for a kid to be. A place where a kid could truly be a kid. But I think we can also agree on this… those old school animatronics left us with an eerie memory or two! Just look at them. They’re so robotic and stiff, it’s a bit unnerving to watch them “sing” when you were a little kid. But we all have memories of it (for better or for worse). Chuck E. Cheese’s, I salute ya. Thank you SD F-1 Grand Prix for reminding me of a simpler time in my life. Perhaps that’s one contributing factor to why I like you so much.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE

10 racers with varying abilities
10 racers with varying abilities

Right away you can tell what the tone of this game is. It’s not serious. It’s cute, and fairly charming. I like how they give you stats for each racer. Even though the racers in Super Mario Kart had their pros and cons, it’s nice seeing it spelled out explicitly.

It's a case of deja vu all right
It’s a case of deja vu all right
Recharge your health. Hmmm...
Recharge your health. Hmmm…
Thought I saw that somewhere before
Thought I saw that somewhere

 

 

 

 

 

 

Similar to Battle Racers, you have a health bar that’s reduced any time you fall in a pit, ram into barriers or blasted by the opposition. Unlike Battle Racers though, instead of finding health refills inside capsules, SD F-1 has a healing strip along the beginning of each track much like F-Zero.

Battle Racers (Banpresto, 1995)
Battle Racers (Banpresto, 1995)

BUT DON’T LOOK DOWN ON THIS GAME

Bird eye's viewpoint
Bird eye’s view point

Sure it rips some things off from Super Mario Kart and F-Zero, but those aren’t bad games to get inspired by. There are different camera angles to pick from. The default is Mario Kart style. But one allows you to make SD F-1 look just like the earlier F-1 Super Famicom games… that being from a bird eye’s view point.

1 player games include:

  • GP Mode: first you race around a bare track for 2 laps to be awarded a starting position (1-10). Then you start the race at your designated spot against 9 rivals. Icons litter the course, collect enough to fill a bar and gain a temporary speed burst
  • Crash Mode: None of this 2 laps positioning nonsense. Start at #10 and instead of speed-bar-filling-up icons you get regular weapon icons (projectiles, etc.) I personally prefer this traditional Mario Kart mode over GP
  • Time Trial: Keeps track of best lap and overall times

2 player game (besides obvious GP and whatnot):

  • Dog Fight: Pick one of (surprise surprise) four specific battle arenas, and fight to the death. The goal is to zap other driver’s energy to zero by blasting him or her with any means necessary. Groovy

Now let’s look at some random tracks.

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The classic, essential, bare bones first stage to acclimate the player to the mechanics of the game. To say it conjures memories of the first race track from Super Mario Kart would be a gross understatement.

Good times
Good times

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Some tracks contain helpful arrows, such as this one. Maybe it’s just me but this course reminds me slightly of Bowser’s.

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Lovely beach track. One of my favorites. Yeah it’s a total ripoff but it’s still sweet. The super jump bit is very cool, reminiscent of Ghost Valley 1.

1992 was a good year!
1992 was a good year!

sdf1-4

 

 

 

 

 

 

Northern Lights! The ice has nice detailing as well. Another one of my favorites, this frozen lake course is actually cooler looking than the frozen courses found in Super Mario Kart. Just my opinion of course, but it’s the little details in the ice as well as the Northern Lights that gives SD F-1 Grand Prix the edge.

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The lava track has a super jump section much like the beach one. I have to say graphically it is superior to Super Mario Kart but that’s kind of expected as one came out in 1992 and the other in 1995.

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I love how you can see this course unwind far into the distance. Lovely!

ProTip: Avoid the muddy spots
ProTip: Avoid the muddy spots

Remember GamePro Magazine? That’s a classic ProTip they would have said. My favorite to this day was the ProTip about the CyberDemon. ProTip: Shoot at it. :D

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I love the wide range of locales you race in — the visuals are pleasant to the eye and really makes you want to race each of the courses.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Yippee!
Yippee!

Super Mario Kart meets a cast of Chuck E. Cheeses rejects. In a nutshell, that’s what SD F-1 Grand Prix is. What it also is… is a damn fine racing game. It’s loads of fun with a few different ideas to differentiate it enough from Super Mario Kart. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a most blatant clone, but it’s a well made one. It’s not as smooth playing as Super Mario Kart, but visually it’s better and I really like some of its tracks. If you love kart racing games then you really owe it to yourself to get this one. SD F-1 Grand Prix is yet another great Super Famicom exclusive title. Pick up a copy if you can — you probably won’t regret it.

Super Bomberman 5 (SFC)

Doing Freddy, Jason and Michael proud!
Doing Freddy, Jason and Michael proud!

Most Super Nintendo owners know about the first two Super Bomberman games on the SNES. But what some don’t know is that the series went up to a whopping five. 3 was released in Europe and Japan while parts 4 and 5 were exclusively released in Japan only. Tonight let’s look at the final Bomberman game on the SNES. It’s the fifth one, and yes, it sure does Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers proud!

They just keep coming and coming...
They just keep coming and coming…

REGULAR MODE

super-bomberman-5_00096

The 1-2 player mode is not shabby, although we all know by now where the meat and potatoes of any Bomberman title is. Nonetheless, here’s a quick look.

You even get stages from the first game
Deja vu, hmm?

There is a time warp-related plot. Therefore, you’ll see stages from the original SNES classic. A nice nod back to the glory days of yesteryear.

Pick your path
Pick your path

Another nice feature, at the end of each stage you’re given 3 exit points. Each one takes you to a completely different level. Sometimes you’ll select the one that takes you to the very next level. Other times you may select a stage that jumps ahead. You never know and it makes the game less linear, for sure.

Oops, no skipping
Aw shucks, no skipping
Yes, skippage!
Jumped from 1-1 to 1-5
Jumped from 1-1 to 1-7
Jumped from 1-1 to 1-7

And as you might notice, some of these stages are pulled right from previous Super Bomberman titles. I told you there was a time warping element to this game. It’s nice to see some of the old stages from the previous games. A nice fan service if nothing else.

But to TRULY complete the game you have to beat all the stages. Your reward is unlocking a bonus character… a golden bomber!

Difficult first boss
Difficult first boss

The first boss is rather annoying and hard. Unlike previous titles where you tackle giant machines, here the bosses are much smaller, quicker and more devious. This one drops a stealth bomb that is invisible until you step over it. Even worse, once the bomb is revealed you have only about a second to get out of the way before it detonates. I have to admit, while the boss fights are more challenging than ever before, I do miss the massive monstrosities of years past.

sptanuki

With that said, let’s get to what makes any Bomberman title shine.

BATTLE ZONE ONE

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The essential “plain” stage. A must have for any Bomberman game. A place where no gimmicks reside and no excuses can be forged. A pure and classic battlefield.

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BATTLE ZONE TWO

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One of my favorite gimmicks, the conveyor belt sends bombs (and bombers) down the line accordingly. I really like the look of this stage.

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BATTLE ZONE THREE

super-bomberman-5_00034

My all-time favorite gimmick: the tunnel or roof stage. Here we have lovely treetops to obscure the playing field. These Bomberman games have never been about impressive visuals, but I do think it’s never looked better. A given, considering it’s the fifth and final game on the system.

super-bomberman-5_00041

BATTLE ZONE FOUR

super-bomberman-5_00043

Not my favorite kind, as it’s a little too gimmicky for my tastes. The field is mostly dark except for a bouncing spotlight. Definitely grounds for excuses galore…

super-bomberman-5_00054

BATTLE ZONE FIVE

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The speed stage where players move REALLY fast. Not one of my favorites, but it’s a change of pace field, pardon the pun, for sure.

super-bomberman-5_00063

BATTLE ZONE SIX

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I like this one a lot. It appeared in Super Bomberman 3 and must have been so popular because it’s back. This stage has a few interesting gimmicks. Bombs that explode under the makeshift igloos will send the top sky high. Not to mention there is slight stealth bombing capacity here. Not as severe as in battle zone three, but the potential is there (which is nice). Secondly, there are portions of the field where the ice cracks, leaving a hole in its wake. You of course cannot cross these holes. Finally, that big snowball up top rolls once you blow it up. Get the hell out of its way!

super-bomberman-5_00067

BATTLE ZONE SEVEN

super-bomberman-5_00069

It’s the arrow stage. I typically enjoy the arrow gimmick, but have to admit the look of this stage is a bit of a letdown. It just doesn’t look very pleasing to the eye.

super-bomberman-5_00071

BATTLE ZONE EIGHT

super-bomberman-5_00075

A trolley lays in the middle. You can ride it and knock out the blocks in its way. Cool stuff. You also can’t die when riding the trolley, but be careful of the landing spot. You may land right into an explosion, or you might even get stuck between two blocks. Assess the situation properly and decide whether it’s worth a ride or not.

super-bomberman-5_00077

BATTLE ZONE NINE

super-bomberman-5_00085

Those special knobs there will switch occasionally and possibly block you out. Not one of my favorites, but it’s adequate.

super-bomberman-5_00086

BATTLE ZONE TEN

super-bomberman-5_00089

Remember this stage from Super Bomberman 2? It’s back. Everyone is powered up from the get go and there are no blocks. An ultimate battle of the supreme.

super-bomberman-5_00093

INTERESTING SIDE NOTES

super-bomberman-5_00004

The classic hand glove is an awesome power-up. If you can find one early on when there are still a lot of blocks on the screen, you can easily kill off some rivals.

Speaking of killed opponents, not only is there an option to bomb from the outside once you’re killed, but if you manage to kill someone on the field the two of you will switch places. It’s a nice choice to have and adds new intensity to the mad bomber option.

CORNERED!
CORNERED!
KABOOM
KABOOM

super-bomberman-5_00015

When the timer expires, blocks drop to the very bitter end. No longer do they close off just a portion of the field, now they drop until they’ve claimed every last life possible. This often becomes a war of attrition. If you have an animal friend and your opponent does not, this works highly in your favor. I like that animal friend there as it can jump over flames. The poor green guy stands no chance!

super-bomberman-5_00018

If you haven’t noticed by now, up to five bombers can play in this game. Starting with Super Bomberman 3, players went from 4 to 5. It’s nice in case you have four friends visiting rather than three.

Bomberman Bowling!
Bomberman Bowling!
Earn a prize for next match
Earn a prize for next match
Taunts and groans ensue
Taunts and groans ensue
Some bombs are special
Some bombs are special

That is a hovering homing bomb. Which means it isn’t affected by the conveyor belt. How many times have you said to yourself it would be nice if my bombs didn’t move along the conveyor belt? Now, with this special bomb, you can do just that. Also, it has a built-in homing device. If an opponent goes near it, it will follow that person for a bit before detonating. It’s quite effective.

Spiked bombs are powerful
Spiked bombs are powerful

They truly are. They blow PAST blocks. So watch out or else…

DAMN!
DAMN!
Oops!
Oops!

In the trolley battle zone, watch out that you don’t trap yourself between two blocks. You’ll be a sitting duck if so!

super-bomberman-5_00000

A password screen is present. There are several codes that affects the game. For example, the codes 4622, 0413 and 0926 change the layouts of the levels. Observe.

Normal
Normal
Password 4622
Password 4622
Password 0413
Password 0413
Password 0926
Password 0926

Pretty dang cool, huh? It should be noted that Super Bomberman 3 and Super Bomberman 4 also had passwords to unlock varying layouts of their battle zones as well. Therefore it’s not like Super Bomberman 5 was the first to do so, but that doesn’t make it any less useful. Talk about expanding longevity when the replay value was already high to begin with!

This controller executes a special cheat!
This controller executes a special cheat!

Speaking of awesome, if you own Hudson’s Super Joy Card controller pad, you can use it to activate three hidden bonus battle zones! Now how sick is that? To do so, move the blue X button over and on the title screen hold X for about 6 seconds. A sound will confirm on success. These are the same stages found on the gold cartridge — a limited edition release of Super Bomberman 5. You can find gold cartridge editions on eBay for over hundreds and hundreds of dollars. So to play the extra bonus stages you can either plop down a couple Benjamins or pay about $20 for Hudson’s Super Joy Card. Yeah, I know which option I went for. Not to mention the Super Joy Card is an awesome controller.

Either that or plop $400 for this
Either that or drop $400 for this…

Let’s take a quick look at the three bonus battle zones.

BATTLE ZONE ELEVEN

supbomb5bon

There are 18 loops surrounding the stage. Go to one and you’ll be redirected randomly to any of the other 17.

BATTLE ZONE TWELVE

supbomb5bon2

Combines a conveyor belt along with tunnels. Gotta love it.

BATTLE ZONE THIRTEEN

supbomb5bon3

Combines a trolley with warp holes. Ride the trolley and appear randomly at another warp hole. Interesting gimmick mash-up!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Goes out with a bang
Goes out with a bang

I love the Bomberman games. You really can’t go wrong with any of the five on the Super Nintendo. I still prefer the original out of all of them, but between parts 3, 4 and 5, I have to give the slight nod to Super Bomberman 5. I like the fact that it combines certain stages from the four previous titles. It isn’t quite a “remix” but at times it does feel like one. As if they took the best from the previous games and added in some new things for the fifth outing on SNES. So if you had to get only one Super Bomberman title that never came out in the US, make it the fifth one. Although, why not get 3 and 4 too if you can. It might be overkill, but for me at least you can never have too much Bomberman.

Spark World (SFC)

Look, it's Bombercar
Look, it’s Bombercar

When I was searching for information on Spark World on the internet back in 2006, it (pardon the pun) shocked me there was nothing. Sure the game’s highly unoriginal, but it’s pretty good regardless, so I thought I’d find SOMETHING on it. I wasn’t expecting to find a full blown write up, but at least a blurb in a “Recommend me some good Super Famicom games” topic. There was nothing to be found. It’s sadly another case of an obscurity left lurking in the shadows. That’s a shame, so tonight let’s shine the spotlight on this little gem.

If Battle Cross was like Super Mario Kart meets Super Bomberman, with emphasis on the former, then Spark World is the same — only with the emphasis placed on the latter.

The story goes as follows:

In a distant world where intelligent cars rule, a shady casino operator who is actually a drug dealer casts his shadow over the alleys and streets. Two young cop cars, Beat and Barts, decide to take matters into their own hands (so to speak) when they learn that the police department is riddled with corruption by the syndicate boss. The intrepid pair must set off to points around the globe and blow up enemies by detonating fuel barrels. If you’re not in the mood to save the world you can always play against 3 friends (or computer controlled opponents in the battle mode).

swstageselect

The story mode allows you to select any one of nine stages. Each stage has three zones with the fourth being the boss. 4-character passwords are given after each stage.

A look at some of the levels from the 1-player mode:

swcity

swriver

swjungle

swice

swdesert

Train boss!
The Terror Train is boss #1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The classic themes are represented: jungle, river, ice, desert, etc. Each theme, as you can guess, is guarded by a boss.

The meat of the game, like Bomberman, is the battle mode with 12 selectable stages. Any combination of 2-4 players can play, and CPU AI is selectable from 1-9. You can set CPU 1 AI level nine, CPU 2 AI five and CPU 3 AI one if you so choose. Very user friendly.

And of course, by blowing blocks sky high, you reveal items that can either help or hinder. Longer sparks, more bombs dropped at a time, jelly bombs (I told you this game was highly unoriginal…), a boxing glove (though instead of punching bombs you punch the opponents — sweet), and so forth.

? marks are a HUGE gamble. If you get the bad side of it, a grim reaper appears over your head with a 30 second countdown. When it reaches 0, whoever has the icon dies. Luckily, you can transfer it to anyone you touch, and it can be passed back and forth until the timer reaches 0. It’s a riot making the switch to someone with 1 second to go!  *evil laughter*

There are no dinosaurs or animals here, but each player can sustain two hits.

Without further ado, let’s take a look at the battle zones.

BATTLE ZONE ONE

sw1-1

Basic plain classic stage where pure skills reign supreme.

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BATTLE ZONE TWO

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At first glance one might assume the arrows indicate where bombs go, but rather than completely ripping off Bomberman, the arrows actually indicate where YOU can go. Similar to the boxing glove, it’s this slight gimmick twist that goes a long way.

sw2-2

BATTLE ZONE THREE

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Red button = no pass. Blue = OK. The colors switch occasionally and shrewd timing is the key to surviving and creating traps.

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BATTLE ZONE FOUR

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I thought my SNES broke when I first played this zone. You’re moved automatically! Challenging zone indeed.

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BATTLE ZONE FIVE

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When the sides are bombed, the doors on the floor open up. Get called up to the big house if you fall through!

sw5-2

BATTLE ZONE SIX

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Ahh, the classic stage with 4 exit points. I love the look here. Unfortunately, the sparks will NOT go through the exit points, unlike Bomberman. Shame, but oh well.

sw6-2

BATTLE ZONE SEVEN

sw7-1

I love this stage’s design and gimmick. Once the boulder is free it’ll roll around the stage. Sparks influence its direction. Don’t let it crush you! There’s nothing better than blasting the giant rock right through your friend!

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BATTLE ZONE EIGHT

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Ahhh, the classic conveyor belt stage. I also love the look here.

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Note: battle zones 9-12 (not pictured) all have crazy gimmicks (i.e. gun placed in the middle, mega bombs, etc.) but they all use the same stage design.

VICTRY!

Somebody got fired...
Somebody got fired…

You can set match victory to 1-5 matches much like Bomberman. The victory screen is a hoot… what the hell is victry? Whoops!

KNOW THY ENEMY

Yellow car screwed for round 2
Yellow is so screwed for round 2

While Spark World is a rip-off through and through, it does have a sweet feature that draws the battle lines in the sand quite emphatically. At the end of a round the game lets you know who your “rival” is. That way you know exactly who to target specifically the following round. It gets wild and loony when one car kills all 3 of his or her opponents. You can form a temporary brotherhood and go after that rival the following round. Makes for some good times for sure.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Damn, blue. You killin' it, son!
Damn, blue. You killin’ it, son!

So yeah, Spark World is a blatant Super Bomberman clone. But bloody hell if it ain’t a blast (sorry). There’s enough of a difference to make it more than a decent alternative. For example, I love that you can sustain two hits. It makes the battles last longer and gives you a chance at redemption rather than a one and done. Sure you can ride animals in the Bomberman titles but honestly I never liked them too much. Felt a little too gimmicky to me, personally. I also like that the boxing glove allows you to punch your opponents rather than punch fuel barrels. I mean, c’mon, does it really get any better than that?! Also, the arrows in battle zone two indicate where YOU can move, rather than your fuel barrels. It’s these slightly unique twists that add up to a slightly refreshing take. But my favorite thing might be that rival screen. Sure, you usually know full well who killed you, but that shot emphatically draws the battle line in the sand for the following round.

Of course it’s not better than the Super Bomberman titles but as far as clones go, this is an admirable and very solid effort. If you love these party games, definitely pick up Spark World. When the sparks get long the battles get really intense. It’s neat also how the spark color indicates who dropped the bomb(s). It’s just a fun game that I’m still playing even 10+ years later after buying it in 2006. Yet another unheralded semi-gem from the fascinating world of Super Famicom!

Sanrio World Smash Ball! (SFC)

More fun than it has any right to be...
Surprisingly more fun than one might first think

Sanrio World Smash Ball! is not only amazingly competent, it’s amazingly addicting and fun. You might say it’s a smash, or a ball. Sorry. Back in the early-mid ’90s many popular franchises outside of video games had its own game at some point. These often resulted in forgettable platformers. Sanrio Smash not only attempted something with a hint of originality, but it succeeded at delivering a quality product, which cannot be said for many licensed video games of the time.

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY…

rotsposter

May 19, 2005, is a day I’ll never forget. It was on this day that my friend and I caught the premier of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. It was a pretty good return to form — it didn’t touch the greatness of the original trilogy but was a far cry from The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

But I recall that day fondly for another reason as well. It was the day I was unofficially hired by Sanrio.

sanrio

I had an hour to kill before showtime, so I decided to scour the mall. It was quickly approaching the end of my Spring 2005 semester. I was 22 and looking for a summer job. Walking by Sanrio on this particular day I couldn’t help but notice a sign posted on the window.

HELP WANTED.

And then for the first time in my life, I voluntarily walked into a Sanrio store. There was a cute young girl at the counter, probably 19 or 20 years old.

“I’d like an application.”

She looked at me like I was joking. When she realized I wasn’t, she gave me one.

I went outside and filled out the application on a bench. 5 minutes later, I placed the application on the counter. She looked up to see it was me again. Cat got her tongue for a second. Finally, she said:

“There hasn’t been a male employee here in five years…”

I grinned, and then in a surreptitiously confident manner, uttered the words that I knew won me the job then and there.

“I guess the odds are against me then.”

The reaction on her face was priceless. I walked out on that note, leaving her hanging.

Two days later they called me in for an interview. I nailed it and was hired on the spot. My first shift, the mall was packed like a sardine can, and they assigned me to take care of the Wheel Game where I ask customers to pay two dollars to spin for a mystery prize. 3 (most common and cheapest prizes), 2, 1 and Grand Prize were marked on the wheel, so everyone wins something.

Every Saturday I stood there and was the "wheel man"
Every Saturday I stood there and was the “wheel man”

Before I went to it one of my coworkers came over and told me to limit the Grand Prize winners. “But if they land on it, how can I change that?” I asked. Then she showed me a little knob on the back of the contraption. When twisted, you could get JUST enough on it to move the arrow indicator one space forward.

That afternoon a couple kids did land on the Grand Prize, and I never once manipulated the knob. This one’s for the little guys — LITERALLY!

For the next 7 months I was a salesclerk there. On the weekends I took charge of the Wheel Game because the boss said I made more money on it than the girls ever did, or could. I had the magic touch. Being the only male had it ups and downs, of course. I walked the ladies to their cars whenever I closed. I always answered the phone, because random guys would call and be creeps. Imagine their surprise when I picked up. On the downside, prices were ridiculous and I had to sell overpriced crap I didn’t care for to would-be consumers. After a while, that sort of wears you out. All in all though, it was a memorable experience.

So when I got back into the Super Nintendo roughly a year after working at Sanrio, I discovered there was a Super Famicom game based upon Sanrio. It looked a bit like Windjammers – I was completely sold.

Classic Neo Geo favorite
A cult classic Neo Geo favorite

Sanrio Smash was actually released July 1993 though, while Windjammers came out February 1994. So you can’t call it a Windjammers clone. Instead call it a perfect blend between Pong and Breakout.

sanrio4

Weighing in at a HEFTY and whoppin’ TWO megs, Sanrio Smash is the smallest game on the SNES, tied with Mr. Do! and Space Invaders. Tales of Phantasia and Star Ocean, both 48 megs, are 24 times bigger than Sanrio Smash. Thankfully, size doesn’t matter [Yeah, is that what she said? -Ed.]. As you can see, the visuals are serviceable enough.

It’s a simple and fun 2 player game. I know the cutesy nature may turn off some but don’t let that fool you. Sanrio Smash is an addictive and competitive game with many different level layouts. There are also power-ups inside blocks. For example one will instantly eliminate all the blocks protecting the opposition’s goal line, making him ripe for the pickings.

sanrioseesaw

Some stages have X marks, which serve as a restriction line. There are some stages though that allow you the ability to go where you please.

As you progress the design gets crazier. Here’s one of my favorites void of those annoying X marks. The seesaw continuously rotates, affecting both players’ strategy on the fly.

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Aside from your standard left and right swats there’s a super shot. By holding a button you’ll charge up a power bar. When full, pressing X enables your power shot, sending the disc flying straight ahead at 250 miles per hour. Your guy will swing his arms twice in a circular motion, so it’s possible to hit the disc twice in succession if it bounces off a block and comes right back to you. The bar will only fill up when you’re standing still and holding a button. It can be re-filled as many times as you wish.

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Using my super shot, the first hit connects and breaks a block. It immediately ricochets back to me before my super shot animation expires, allowing for a second hit. And this time around, my opponent has no answer.

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Some of the stage designs are very unique. There’s a 1-player mode, password option and 2-player mode. In 2-player mode you have 20 stages to pick from, and 4 Sanrio characters. Some of the stage gimmicks are pretty cool, like this pinball-inspired layout.

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As the disc is making its rounds, you’d be wise to power up… watch.

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Now powered up, my possessed looking frog friend is free to advance upward, ready to unleash hell on that poor boy.

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With the boy cornered and a chink in his armor, one power shot is all that’s left…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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Sanrio Smash is loads of fun, and a great modern update on Pong. There aren’t too many games like this on the SNES, which makes it noteworthy. When you factor in that it’s really good too, you have a nice little gem well worth having in your library. Note: the game has no music during gameplay (hey, it’s 2 megs after all). It’s just the sound of the disc being hit back and forth. Just pop in your favorite CD — problem solved!

I’ve yet to meet anyone who has played this and didn’t like it. In other words, it has quite a few fans and I suspect you’ll enjoy it too, if you can look past its license. It’d be a shame to dismiss this game based solely on that.

On a final note, if you like this, I also recommend checking out Pop’n Smash. It’s very similar and a decent companion piece to Sanrio Smash. It’s clearly a clone as it came out April 1994 (nine months after Sanrio Smash). It doesn’t play as well, but I really enjoyed that one, too. Can’t go wrong with either or better yet, both!

Super Play dropping some TRUTH!
Super Play Magazine dropping some TRUTH! Yeah, I said it…

Pop’n Smash (SFC)

A tennis title with dogs? Err...
A tennis title with dogs? Err…

Well, it’s not quite tennis, but it’s close. Pop’n Smash can best be described as a cross between Pong and Breakout. Or, since it came out 9 months later, it might be easiest to call it a Sanrio World Smash Ball! clone. But a darn fine one it is.

Heisei Inu Monogatari Bow: Pop’n Smash, to give it its full name, is based on canine Bow (who resembles Spuds MacKenzie), star of a popular manga and anime series. Spuds was famous for her Super Bowl ’87 commercial, by the way.

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Ah, Bow and Spuds has more than a passing resemblance. Socks the Cat? Give me Spuds MacKenzie, damnit! ;)

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It controls and plays very much like Sanrio Smash, right down to the charging bar power shot (which can also hit the ball twice in succession under the right circumstances). Talk about shameless!

TOOL TIME

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So, what’s different? This game has more options. In Sanrio 2-player mode you have a choice of four characters and 20 stages. Here you have six characters and 30 stages. There are even 9 different tools to choose, ranging from mallets to baseball bats to brooms to even, a branch! I haven’t been able to discern if these various tools have pros and cons or if they’re just cosmetic, but nonetheless variety is the spice of life.

The 1-player version is limited to a choice of 4 tools (as seen above). Here, Bow opts for the twig over the tennis racket… I mean, wouldn’t you too? A no-brainer!

(SANRIO) SMASH VS. (POP’N) SMASH

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Even the power-ups here are similar to those found in Sanrio Smash. One eliminates all blocks protecting the opposition’s goal line. Another instantly gives you full power. But there’s at least one different icon: the bomb. You’re frozen in place for a good 4, 5 seconds if it touches you, leaving you mighty vulnerable and unable to protect your goal line. Pretty cool.

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You can also dive to make amazing last second saves and stops. Slide north, south, east or west by pressing Y and the appropriate direction. Good stuff I say. Sanrio Smash didn’t have this.

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Go through each character in 1-player mode, with the VS. screen showing the password on bottom much like Sanrio. Hmmmm.

What a copycat that Bow is!
What a copycat that Bow is!

X MARKS THE SPOT

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Another big difference: more freedom to roam. Many stages are void of restrictive X marks, unlike Sanrio. There are some stages with restriction points, but most allow you to go anywhere. I only wish you could beat up the opponent as well — what great fun that would be! Sort of a Pong and beat ‘em up crossover, but alas, I’m digressing. C’mon, admit it, it would be sick if you could smack each other over the head with mallets and tennis rackets.

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Sanrio World Smash Ball! has restrictive X marks. They prevent you from crossing over to your opponent’s side of the field. But Pop’n Smash allows for more of a wild free-for-all, which is a refreshing little change.

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There’s also a “catch-as-many-butterflies-as-you-can-in-forty-seconds” mini game in the 1-player mode. It’s a nice break from the norm.

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Sayaka displays the power shot. Unfortunately for her, it is most ill-timed. The ball will ricochet off the barrier and into her own goal line. D’oh!

Certain objects are breakable, like those pots up there. I like all these environmental objects and items that you can interact with.

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Sayaka’s helpless expression as the ball sails just past her reach is too cute.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Nice diving save, Bow!
Nice diving save, Bow!

Pop’n Smash is a fun 2-player game and one of the many enjoyable Super Famicom-exclusive games that few folks ever talk about. Since it is a Sanrio Smash clone, it begs the question: which is better? Well, opinions will vary but here’s mine. I really enjoy the little touches in Pop’n Smash. The additional options it has over Sanrio Smash — one might assume gives it perhaps a stronger lifespan and thus the overall edge. But Sanrio Smash plays better. I can’t put my finger on it, but it just feels a little bit more polished than Pop’n Smash. So at the end of the day, I have to give the slight nod to Sanrio Smash, but it’s super close.

Both are really good though, and both are certainly worth having in your SNES collection. Although they’re similar, there’s just enough difference to warrant getting both. Both are great fun with a friend, and vastly underrated and unique titles.

Pop’n Twinbee Rainbow Bell Adventures (SFC)

It's the Pop'n Twinbee cast... in a platformer?!
It’s the Pop’n Twinbee cast… in a platformer?! Sure, why the hell not

Pop’n Twinbee is a SHMUP on the Super Famicom, but Konami originated the series in the arcade way back in 1985 (Twinbee). Pop’n Twinbee Rainbow Bell Adventures is an action platformer that feels like a trip on acid. It’s colorful, wild and a bit ridiculous. It’s also a hell lot of fun.

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Select from TwinBee, WinBee or GwinBee. Each one has their own strengths and weaknesses. There is a punch and jump meter, and the length of each one varies from character to character.

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TwinBee attacks with a mallet, but only after you’ve collected the proper bell. His punch and jump meters are evenly balanced.

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WinBee attacks with a lasso after procuring the proper bell. Her punch meter is long but her jump meter is super short, making her the ideal character for those who like to rack up frequent flyer miles.

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GwinBee throws those rattles once you’ve nabbed the proper bell. He’s the opposite of WinBee — his jump meter is awfully long but his punch meter is extremely short.

So, what happens when the punch meter is fully charged? Well, this!

BOOM
BOOM

It can be shot in any one of eight directions. This mega shot allows you to break certain sections of the landscape that otherwise impedes your progress.

What about the jump meter… what happens when it’s fully charged? Well, this!

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It zips you across the screen in your direction of choice (like the mega shot you can aim it in any one of eight directions). It also breaks barriers as such.

Gotta collect 'em all!
Gotta collect ‘em all!

Killing enemies and collecting the various colored bells is the name of the game. Each color grants you a different skill or power-up. Unfortunately whenever you take damage you lose all your bells, but just kill more enemies to recollect them.

Blue bell gives you a gun
Blue bell gives you a gun

Each of the three characters can shoot a gun when a blue bell is collected. This gives all of the characters a long range shot that can be fired at any time at will. Yes, they can fire the mega shot too but obviously there is a charge time for that. On the downside, the gun cannot break barriers. It also can only be shot straight ahead. It’s nice that the game gives you choices but each choice has its own pros and cons. I love it when games do that. Makes it feel very versatile!

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You can do some crazy flying in this game, including soaring into the outer reaches of space as the game starts to highlight your kilometers in the air after a certain height. It gets pretty ridiculous!

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You can also float in mid-air as you recharge your jump meter. Or you can cancel the float and descend as normal. Again, options and choices. This game excels at giving you that.

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Higher…
Recharging...
Recharging…
... and even higher
… and soaring even higher

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Fly all over the place — you never know when you might crash through some breakable walls to discover “hidden” goodies!

Gallagher would be proud
Gallagher would be proud

Yeah, the mega shot and the gun is fun to use, but sometimes you just can’t beat smashing a bad guy over the head with a good old fashioned mallet. Good times.

Six zany worlds await
Six zany worlds await

To top off this fun little game, you have a password system to save your progress. There are also two 2-player modes. The first is a co-op mode that gets a little crazy. That’s because it’s easy to leave your partner behind when one of you decides to take flight. It’s nice to see Konami included this 2-player mode but truth be told it’s not the best co-op game in the world as it’s far too easy to get caught off-screen unless you and your friend are determined to stick together. The second mode is a battle mode. This is a split screen 3 minute war where both players are pitted against one another in a duel to the death. It’s an interesting option for sure as I can’t think of many SNES 2-player games that feature such a barbaric option. If you can think of another one, sound off in the comments. Hell, it’s possible this might in fact be the only one of its kind!

Those crazy Japanese
Those crazy Japanese
A shame this never came out to American shores
A shame this never came out to the good ol’ US of A

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Saved by the BELL
Saved by the BELL

Pop’n Twinbee Rainbow Bell Adventures is a fun and delightful action platformer. It’s easily one of Konami’s best SNES games never to hit the US. There was a PAL European release, however. The game has some quirky and entertaining gimmicks backing it, making it a unique experience in a world bloated with way too many hop and bop affairs. The visuals are so sugary sweet that you just might get a cavity just by looking at it. The sound is typical Konami goodness. And the gameplay is different, challenging enough and definitely loads of fun. You can’t go wrong with Rainbow Bell Adventures. Konami could do almost no wrong back in the mid ’90s, and this is simply another shining example of such.

Magical Pop’n (SFC)

If Zelda were made into a platformer...
If Zelda were made into a platformer…

Back in 2006, when I repurchased a Super Nintendo and began my SNES resurrection, there were three Super Famicom platformers I was insanely curious about. I referred to them as the Big Three. It was DoReMi Fantasy, Majyuuou (AKA King of Demons) and Magical Pop’n. I was blessed enough to find a loose cartridge copy for just $25 (September 18, 2006). The game as you can imagine currently commands an arm and a leg. Timing is everything, eh?

Magical Pop’n is a platformer with traits that are more or less reminiscent of timeless classics like MetroidZelda, Castlevania, Mega Man, etc. Your main weapon is a sword. Sub weapons, each requiring a certain amount of stars per use, are available as well.

Here’s a look at the game’s first two levels.

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Sensing something foul in Denmark, your quest begins atop this roof on a dark, rainy night.

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A stroke of lightning reveals in the distance endless and ominous-looking hills.

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Escape the frightful weather by way of chimney. Unfortunately for you, danger aplenty still lurks.

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A healthy boost sends you sky high to the next floor.

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As you navigate the mansion you uncover creepy dungeons.

Look out, U-Haul
Look out, U-Haul

Your first mid-boss encounter comes with this occult heathen.

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After the mid-boss tangle, this dirty little goblin attempts to impede your expedition.

Who said church is boring?
Who said church is boring?

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Level two takes place in the woods… on the surface, at least…

Where have I seen those before...
Wait, I’ve seen you before…

Our heroine enters a dank cave filled with critters of all shapes and sizes.

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To meet the mid-boss of the cave and claim your next sub weapon, you must cross this bit.

Not as tricky as it looks
Not as tricky as it looks
That's one big mid-boss
That’s one big mid-boss
Be careful when it spazzs out
Be careful when it freaks out
Hmmm. Deja vu...
Hmmm. Deja vu…

Now you may claim your Bionic Commando-like extension grappler. Therein lies the beauty of Magical Pop’n. Each new sub weapon allows our female protagonist added firepower in her quest.

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The grappler can be used an unlimited amount of times as it eats up zero stars, but it’s strictly used for swinging purposes. It certainly adds a hint of Bionic Commando to the proceedings, which isn’t a bad thing at all.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Fun, and tough
Not quite magical, but close

Magical Pop’n isn’t quite the 9+ out of 10 game I was hoping for, but it’s still very good. It presents a fairly decent challenge to boot. The game features six stages. Unfortunately there is no save/password system. Fortunately there is a debug menu cheat code that negates this. Pause the game and press Up, Down, X, Y, Left, Right, A, B, Up, Up. Unpause the game and it will activate the debug menu where you can tinker with lives, stars, the almighty God mode and a very handy level select. Gotta love codes like such! They go a long way in enhancing my enjoyment of a game as well as increase longevity.

Of the Big Three, DoReMi Fantasy is light years ahead, but I’d rank Magical Pop’n a respectable second place and Majyuuou a very close third. Having said that, Magical Pop’n is a fine platformer that conjures memories of classic franchises. It never reaches the level of greatness as those classic games, but coming from an obscure developer who only has four titles to their name (Polestar), this is an admirable effort. It probably isn’t worth the insane amount it goes for, but it’s certainly a noteworthy and memorable Super Famicom-exclusive title. Just don’t expect it to be the best thing since sliced bread.