Manitou Doll (Guy N. Smith)

Guy N. Smith | May 28, 1981 | 236 pages
Guy N. Smith | May 28, 1981 | 236 pages

After devouring Guy N. Smith’s Cannibals, one thing was clear: I needed more Guy in my life. I won Manitou Doll and Cannibals from the same eBay seller, so naturally, Manitou Doll was the next book to be read. The cover piqued my interest immediately. It’s so exotic, so… EVIL. Just look at that glorious wooden carved doll, bursting to life with a demonic eye peering out of its shell. Top it off with the chilling silhouette of a mysterious woman worshiping in the distance of a gorgeous mountain range, and it instantly transports you back to those magical, halcyon days of browsing the horror section at your local mom and pop rental store, gawking at all the amazing and cool VHS covers that the ’80s had to offer. The little caption “Hell’s fury breaks loose on a holiday weekend” only further adds to the fun, promising much carnage and sinister shenanigans to come. It’s one of the most intriguing book covers I have ever seen, so I couldn’t wait to read it especially given how much I enjoyed Cannibals. Can Guy N. Smith go 2 for 2?

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The back cover suggests a seedy story taking place at a rainy fairground where shady happenings are the order of the day. Manitou Doll centers around the Caitlins and their daughter, Rowena (who is hard of hearing), and the deadly misadventures they find themselves caught up in upon stepping foot on the fairground’s foul and drenched soil.

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Ever since I was a kid, I have loved the horrific idea of killer dolls and such. Sure, Chucky from Child’s Play is arguably the most iconic of its ilk, but the Zuni warrior doll from Trilogy of Terror always haunted me. It seemed like Manitou Doll had all the potential to be an awesome story about a killer doll on the rampage.

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There are some scenes in the book describing the fair’s Punch and Judy show. Those things always creep the hell out of me!

Ugh!
Ugh!

I couldn’t wait to dive in. Let’s see if Guy N. Smith does killer dolls right.

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The horror began on September 16, 1868. The prologue is a bit slow moving at first, but you can feel Guy slowly ratcheting up the tension as the inevitable “breaking point” event creeps ever closer. I felt a sense of impending doom building as I continued to read, waiting for that horrific “oh shit” moment.

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And whoop, there it is. A terrible raping occurs, and from that, a curse was born for future generations to come. And rue that day they did.

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Guy is no Ernest Hemingway, but I do enjoy his prose. He does a good job of dropping you in the middle of a creepy hamlet, or in this case, a rain soaked and rundown fairground. He has a certain way with words that puts you in the middle of the action.

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As with many horror books of the time, plenty of side characters are introduced solely for them to meet a bitter end not long thereafter. Enter Margaret Stott, who is about to suffer a most horrifying demise.

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These passages haunt me even now to this day, and it’s been a year since I’ve read this book. I will always remember this scene in particular. I could picture Margaret’s mind snapping, her will breaking and all her humanity stripped. It is as harrowing as it gets. The poor woman found herself trapped in an area where the air supply was limited, movement was restricted and she was at the mercy of darkness…

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Guy N. Smith has a way of burrowing underneath your skin. You just get that shiver running through your spine as you spiral deeper and deeper into the abyss. Not recommended for those with claustrophobia!

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Insane mirth — yes, indeed. That about sums it up! What a haunting passage. There are quite a few of these disturbing moments. Another one is the weird spook ride where young Rowena Caitlin ends up … well, I don’t want to spoil it.

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I just wish that there was more killer doll action. The cover makes it seem like it might be, but it’s more about the drama that exists between the Caitlin family and the strange doll carver, Jane. It’s filled with cliches and tropes as one might expect, but a little too much is focused on the humans than the doll. Maybe my expectations were too high. I just wanted straight maniac doll horror. Instead, it’s scattered among the human drama which at times felt like a bit of a slog to get through.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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Manitou Doll had a ton of potential to be THE killer doll pulp novel of its time. But there isn’t enough doll action here for my liking, and too much human drama that I honestly didn’t care about much. The characters are flat, one dimensional and a bit annoying at times. There are some nice evil doll moments sprinkled throughout, but not enough for me to recommend this. It’s just an OK read; I wouldn’t go out of my way to track this one down. I do love Guy’s description of the decrepit fairground. And that cover is totally badass. What a shame then that the story didn’t deliver. Your mileage may vary, but for me this is definitely a case where admirable ambition was largely nullified by subpar execution. I didn’t have as much fun reading Manitou Doll as I had hoped. Not a terrible read — just disappointingly average!

2HalfStars

Cannibals (Guy N. Smith)

Guy N. Smith | December 1986 | 186 pages
Guy N. Smith | December 1986 | 208 pages

Last summer I began my journey into the sordid and macabre world of vintage horror fiction. Browsing eBay late one night, I happened to come across an auction for a book called CANNIBALS. After Googling Guy N. Smith, I discovered that he was a rather popular English writer of pulp horror fiction. In other words, if you enjoy trashy and wildly graphic horror stories, Guy N. Smith is your guy (sorry). Guy is most well known for his infamous Crabs franchise, of which he wrote no less than EIGHT books about killer crabs. I knew then that I had to buy Cannibals. Put it on my watch list and a few days later, placed my bid at the last possible second and won the sucker. The excitement level was palpable — I couldn’t wait to read my first adult horror book, something long overdue. Did Guy deliver? Let’s delve in…

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Cannibals won’t win any awards for originality, but the plot is right up my alley. Of the many different horror sub-genres, I’ve always been a sucker for grotesque inbred creatures attacking poor unwitting fools. I love how the back of the book has the same killer art as the front cover. That hideous creature is just so gruesome. What is up with those webbed claws and that third eye?! Definitely not something you would want to run into late at night, or any other time of the day! I also love the simple plot and how you know there will be an uprising of the monsters. Much blood shed is promised, and much is spilled and splattered through the book’s 208 pages. It is a wild, bloody ride!

Guy N. Smith
Guy N. Smith

WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE…

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Wrong Turn opened in theaters on May 30, 2003. I scored two tickets for a special pre-screening the night before, and invited a good college buddy of mine along. It was a packed house! Lots of girls screaming in the audience and lots of funny comments like “OH HELL NO! GIRL YOU BETTER WATCH YO BACK!” made for a very fun evening of slasher movie madness. Cannibals is kind of like Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes… but on steroids.

The Hills Have Eyes, a cult classic
The Hills Have Eyes, a 1977 cult classic

ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE

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Most horror books open with an excerpt from later in the book. It’s usually a nasty bit that the author wants to highlight right from jump street. The one in Cannibals is no exception; it is a particularly abominable excerpt…

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The first page introduces us to Doug Geddis, an elderly member of the hamlet known as Invercurie. We find out he’s in his late 50s and that he’s seen through shit. He is clearly apprehensive, and praying that whatever was lurking outside were villagers rather than… well, you know. Right away Guy N. Smith paints a desolate scene. One that feels hopeless, isolated from civilization and ripe for some inbred monster mayhem.

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It isn’t long before readers find Doug Geddis is up to no good. Greedy to make a buck, he’s willing to risk the lives of careless holidaymakers. What a great word, by the way. You gotta love English writers; they use certain words and phrases American writers don’t. Little details like that can make a book feel “exotic” and extra fun to read. I also love his wife’s accent and how Guy writes it as how you would hear her speak it: “Douglas, ye can nae bring outsiders to Invercurie, ye can nae risk them seeing…” and then ol’ Douglas the mad lad telling her to shut up. Or think it, anyhow. The page ends on this chilling line: “Death would always stalk the night hours in Invercurie.” Ooh, spooky! Even the word “Invercurie” seems to curdle the blood… it just sounds like the sort of place where really bad and awful things happen… the type of place that deserves to be blotted off the map and blown to bits. A region where no God of any kind exists…

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Soon we get some foolhardy holidaymakers crashing the scene. They’re needed for the body count, y’know. Once again we get another chilling line in italics: Invercurie ceases to be a place of beauty after dark. Ye mustna go up into the mountains. Creepy stuff!

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Be ready for a lot of words written in italics. I suppose it was Guy’s way of being extra dramatic and look-at-me. Whatever the odd case may be, I find it works. My eyes were always drawn to the italics, and I knew anything in italics usually meant some sort of vulgar language or graphic description. Guy’s vivid description of the beasts is second to none. He really excels at grossing you out and making you feel super glad you’re anywhere but Invercurie!

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When shit hits the fan, it really hits the fan. This is like nothing I’ve ever read from R.L. Stine, that’s for sure! Oh no, people die here and die in very gruesome ways. It is not for the faint of heart. Cannibals is balls to the walls horror and depravity personified. Being my first adult horror book read, I could not believe how vile and despicable it was. Each reading session concluded with me wanting to thoroughly scrub myself clean!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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Guy N. Smith is a savage. The story moves along at a brisk pace, there is plenty of monster mayhem and it never drags. This isn’t one of those lame horror stories where it’s 80% buildup and then finally the monsters appear during the final 20%. These godforsaken creatures show up early and often. At first it’s a bunch of slaughtering up in their dank decrepit cave. But before things come to a fiery conclusion, the creatures shamble out of their cave to wreck havoc and smash shit up down in the village. This was no lame first book in a series where it sets up events for the middle book. This is a standalone where Guy unleashed all hell and said, “Here, have some more hell! And take another heaping of hell after that!” I enjoyed the hell out of it, pun intended. It’s way better than any Hills Have Eyes or Wrong Turn movie. Sometimes, it’s a lot more frightening imagining something with your mind than it is to see with your eyes. Cannibals is damn bloody fun, full of wanton destruction and chaos. I was sad when it finally ended, but also relieved. I needed a shower badly! This is just one of those books… it’s completely vile and foul… and I loved every friggin’ second of it :P

5Stars