SNES Classic Edition

It's happening
It’s happening

Yesterday news broke that Nintendo would indeed be releasing their SNES Classic Edition starting on September 29, 2017. Last year they released their NES Classic Edition for $60 and it was a smash hit. Rumors began swirling immediately that the SNES Classic Edition wouldn’t be far behind and sure enough, it’s almost here. For the low price of $80 here’s what you get:

  • HDMI support
  • SNES (super) mini
  • Two classic SNES controllers
  • 21 classic SNES games preloaded into the system

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Let’s take a closer look at all 21 games, in alphabetical order.

1. CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS

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One of the most intense action-packed 2 player SNES games ever made. Contra III is classic run and gun mayhem. Best experienced with a friend in tow, there’s nothing like blasting alien scum to Kingdom Come as you navigate your way through some of the most memorable moments in 16-bit gaming.

2. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY

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There were three DKC games released on the SNES, with many citing the second (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest) as their favorite. I actually prefer the first one. Call it nostalgia but it was fresh, mind blowing for its time and the difficulty was just right. A little on the easy side at times, but it cranked it up when it needed to. Mainly, I enjoyed using Donkey Kong in all his glory. Don’t forget those amazing tunes, either!

3. EARTHBOUND

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Take The Wonder Years, Peanuts, Doug, The Goonies, Dragon Quest and put them all in a blender. You’d probably get something like EarthBound. Whimsical, unique and different, EarthBound is charming and captivating as hell. But there also lies some sneaky mature themes throughout, such as the loss of innocence in a corrupt world. A classic RPG any SNES fan should play through before all is said and done.

4. FINAL FANTASY III

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Arguably the greatest 16-bit RPG ever made, Final Fantasy III is an epic adventure. It took me nearly 50 hours to beat back in 2008 when I experienced it for the first time, and I loved every second of it. Memorable characters, plot twists, haunting music… it has it all. It’s too bad the almost-just-as-good Final Fantasy II isn’t also included, though. But if you had to pick just one, they made the right choice here.

5. F-ZERO

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It may seem a little outdated today, especially to F-Zero virgins, but this blew our minds back in 1991. It still holds up well, although it is a bit bare bones. Still a good choice. The music is awesome. You could say that for most of these games, quite frankly.

6. KIRBY’S DREAM COURSE

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Of all the games featured on the SNES Classic Edition, this is the most surprising. I don’t say that disparagingly! Kirby’s Dream Course combines the best of Kirby and golf. It’s a blast to play and addicting as hell. Glad this made the cut. It doesn’t get the props it deserves. Now a larger audience will get to experience this for the first time. As well as SNES fans from the ’90s who somehow missed out on this back in the day. A definite dark horse candidate for “Game I Didn’t Expect To Sink So Many Hours On.”

7. KIRBY SUPER STAR

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Rather than one grand adventure, Kirby Super Star is a compendium of nine standalone games. It’s vintage Kirby, and it’s loads of fun.

8. THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST

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A no-brainer. One of the best SNES games ever, nay, one of the best video games of all time. A masterpiece in every sense, this adventure will forever remain timeless and quintessential. Who could ever forget the first time they saw that rain come whipping down?

9. MEGA MAN X

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The best Mega Man game on the SNES. Never before could the Blue Bomber move around like he does here. The ability to scale walls, ride armored machines and even throw a Hadoken made Mega Man X one unforgettable journey.

10. SECRET OF MANA

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The first ever 3-player action RPG, Secret of Mana was a marvel for its time. It’s a great game but one that I do feel is slightly overrated. Still, the ability to play it with two friends made it something special. It’ll be interesting to see if Nintendo releases a multitap for the SNES Classic Edition. 2-player Secret of Mana is still awesome but it’d be a shame not to be able to experience it as a 3-player affair. On a side note, I much prefer the Super Famicom-only sequel, Secret of Mana 2 AKA Seiken Densetsu 3.

11. STAR FOX

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Star Fox was pretty amazing back in 1993. It’s a little rough around the edges today in 2017, but hopefully people will be able to overlook the dated visuals which were considered fairly groundbreaking for its time.

12. STAR FOX 2

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The biggest news of this SNES Classic Edition is the inclusion of never before officially released Star Fox 2. This game was programmed back in the mid ’90s but never saw the light of day as the N64 was looming over the horizon. Of course the repro of this game has been available for many years now, but it’ll be nice to have an official release (especially HDMI-supported).

13. STREET FIGHTER II TURBO

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Some people argue Super Street Fighter II is better, but I’ll take Street Fighter II Turbo. Street Fighter II created a revolution, but it was Turbo that refined it. For my money this is hands down the best fighting game on the SNES. So many sore thumbs and even more sore egos courtesy of this game back in 1993. Good times.

14. SUPER CASTLEVANIA IV

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It’s a little slow and the visuals are a bit outdated by today’s standards, but this was the definitive Castlevania game for many folks prior to Symphony of the Night. Being able to swing Simon’s whip in all directions made controlling him a breeze and loads of fun. There’s a beautiful simplicity to this game. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy taking down Count Dracula?

15. SUPER GHOULS ‘N GHOSTS

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Probably the hardest game of this list, Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts suffers from some slowdown but still provides one hell, pardon the pun, of a romp through some ghastly levels. I’m glad this game made the list. It’s a classic but often slightly overlooked in lieu of some bigger names such as Super Metroid and Contra III. Well deserved, Sir Arthur. Well deserved. You’ll terrorize a whole new generation of gamers. Congrats, good sir.

16. SUPER MARIO KART

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The Mario Kart franchise is one of the most beloved of all time. It’s so good that it attracts even the most casual of gamers. There’s something very likable about the characters from the Mario universe, the various weapons and imaginative course designs that constantly bring people back for more and more. This is where it all started — it’s the granddaddy of all Mario Kart games. Still playable after all these years!

17. SUPER MARIO RPG: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN STARS

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Mario in an RPG? Nuts. Bowser as a playable good guy? Even more nuts. Yet it all works, to no one’s surprise. Super Mario RPG brings timing to the RPG party as well as some wacky, lovable characters. A good time for sure.

18. SUPER MARIO WORLD

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Released on the Super Famicom’s Launch Day of November 21, 1990, Super Mario World is still as playable today as it was nearly 30 years ago. Shigeru Miyamoto knows how to make a damn good video game, and his fingerprints are all over this one. Great visuals, amazing music and smooth gameplay. Can’t ask for much more.

19. SUPER METROID

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If there were a Super Nintendo Mount Rushmore, anyone who doesn’t include Super Metroid automatically has their list disqualified. You just can’t talk about the very best SNES games without mentioning this 24 MEG GEM. Adventure, atmosphere, gun slinging, exploration, Super Metroid has it all. And that is all.

20. SUPER PUNCH-OUT!!

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Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! was one of the best NES games ever made. Its sequel, Super Punch-Out!!, is also an excellent arcade-like take on the sport of boxing. It’s all about patterns, timing, memorization and execution. While the new boxers here may lack the personality of the NES game, it’s still one of my favorites and I’m happy to see it made the list.

21. YOSHI’S ISLAND

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Aside from baby Mario’s incredibly annoying crying whenever he’s dismounted, Yoshi’s Island is a daring and brilliant deviation from the standard Mario game formula. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I find it equally as splendid as Super Mario World — just in slightly different ways.

TOP NINE SNUBS

The NES Classic Edition had 30 games, but the SNES Classic Edition only carries 21. However, the 21 games here are obviously much lengthier than the ones found on the NES edition. While the 21 games represented are great choices, there are a few glaring omissions. Whether due to licensing or whatever, here are nine great SNES games (in alphabetical order) that are conspicuous by their absence.

Oh, and before we begin, I will refrain from including the following two titles due to the simple fact that it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any sort of multitap with the SNES Classic Edition. While both these games are still great as 2-player games, the real magic comes with a room of 4.

NBA Jam T.E.
NBA Jam T.E.
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Super Bomberman

1. ACTRAISER

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An early first generation title and a classic one at that. ActRaiser switches seamlessly between side-scrolling levels of good old hack and slash platforming and a simulation mode where you must help build the land and protect the people. It’s a little simplistic but it didn’t need to be complex.

2. CHRONO TRIGGER

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Perhaps the most glaring omission of all, some believe Chrono Trigger to be the best SNES game ever created. Quite a loss, then, not to have one of the very best titles ever made in 16-bit history. Although I do understand at least a little bit since Nintendo already packed in three RPGs. Still, it’s tough losing out on this one.

3. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY 2: DIDDY’S KONG QUEST

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Although I prefer the original Donkey Kong Country, I’ll concede that this does play slightly better. If you had Yoshi’s Island to go along with Super Mario World, you probably should have added this as well. Alas, poor Diddy and newcomer Dixie Kong are left hanging… [HAR HAR -Ed.]

4. THE LEGEND OF THE MYSTICAL NINJA

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Another classic 2-player SNES game from the system’s early days. Perhaps this was a little too offbeat for Nintendo to include for the mainstream, however. If that is the case, that’s a shame because the gameplay shines through and speaks for itself. Note: This game is included in the Super Famicom Classic Edition as Ganbare Goemon.

5. POCKY & ROCKY

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Hard as nails, but also super fun with a friend right alongside ya! It’s too bad this got snuffed… it would have exposed Pocky & Rocky to a brand new generation of gamers.

6. SUNSET RIDERS

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Vintage glorious 2-player gun slinging action. ‘Nuff said.

7. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES IV: TURTLES IN TIME

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Next to Chrono Trigger, this is the biggest glaring omission. Not to mention it would have been the only beat ‘em up on the SNES Classic Edition. That makes its absence all the more egregious. No beat ‘em ups represented?! That’s a crime! But I totally understand it might have been a licensing issue and Nintendo simply not wanting to pay the extra cost for the Ninja Turtles brand. Whatever the case may be, it’s a shame. This defined many of our 16-bit childhoods and is arguably the finest beat ‘em up on the SNES.

8. TETRIS ATTACK

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No puzzle games are represented either, and Tetris Attack is the best as far as I’m concerned. This inclusion would have provided endless hours of cutthroat competitive play, and it saddens me that it didn’t make the cut. Well, at least for the American release. The Super Famicom Classic Edition does include this game but under its Japanese title of Panel de Pon.

9. ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS

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Come on, Nintendo. This is another classic childhood game for many of us who grew up in the early ’90s. Every kid played this game to death that holiday season of 1993. Sure, it may be a little overrated but it’s freaking ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS! Nintendo, you could have even tweaked it to make it better. Think about an easier difficulty setting, a strafe button, etc. A missed opportunity any way you slice it.

10. KEN GRIFFEY JR. PRESENTS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

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This is my honorable mention. I love this game and it was also published by Nintendo. I see why it wasn’t included, though. Fake player names, outdated rosters and so forth. But damn is this game fun. Many people, even non baseball fans, still play it to this very day. It would also have been the only sports title featured in the package.

SUPER FAMICOM CLASSIC EDITION

I THINK I AM TURNING JAPANESE...
“I THINK I AM TURNING JAPANESE…”

In Japan, the system will include Panel de Pon (Tetris Attack)Fire Emblem: Mystery of the EmblemGanbare Goemon: The Legend of the Mystical NinjaSuper Soccer, and Super Street Fighter II. These titles replace EarthBoundKirby’s Dream CourseStreet Fighter II Turbo, Super Castlevania IV, and Super Punch-Out!! from the US model.

Super Punch-Out!! was never released in Japan. Strange but true. I guess they’re keeping true to form 20+ years later…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Welcome back, dear old friend
Welcome back, dear old friend

For $80 this is an insane bargain. Having 21 classic SNES titles, with HDMI support, in one tiny system is greatly appealing particularly to those who don’t already own these classics. You’re talking less than $4 a game, and that’s not including the system. Sadly, the NES Classic Edition suffered from lack of production and over demand, causing scalpers to swoop in and take advantage. Preorders for the SNES Classic Edition are going fast and resellers are everywhere posed to capitalize. $300 markups would be a safe bet. Of course, when you consider some of these games sell TODAY for close to $300 individually, $300 might still seem like a good deal for 21 games. And it is, at less than $15 a game. But it would be a shame to pay $300 for something that is retailing for just $80. As always, it’s a call only the individual can make. I already own all these games so I’d pass if the asking price is $300, but at $80 I would probably bite. But what are the odds I’ll be able to find one for $80? Probably not high.

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But on a more happy note, I’m just ecstatic that my favorite console, the Super Nintendo, is back in the mainstream spotlight. I expect a ton of nostalgia to overcome young adults in their 30s who see this package and go “Oh wow, I haven’t played these games in 20, 25 years!” It just makes me happy knowing the SNES will once again bask in the glow of the spotlight. Nintendo plans to stop production of these Classic Editions at the end of 2017, so the spotlight will be short-lived, but it’s nice knowing come September a lot of casual people will be buying a Super Nintendo in 20-freaking-17. And who knows, it may lead to something bigger. At the very least, exposure never hurts and it thrills me that younger generations of gamers will have a chance to play and appreciate these classics. That’s a definite win in my book!

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EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Speaking of SNES comebacks...
Speaking of SNES comebacks…

By the way, it recently came to my attention that BS Shockman is getting an official Super Famicom release June of 2017! Wow! The SNES scene is booming right now in a way we haven’t seen in a long time. BS Shockman is also known as BS Kaizou Choujin Shubibinman Zero. Check out my review for more info.

Fun 2-player game worth checking out
Fun 2-player game worth checking out

Rock on, SNES. Rock the f*ck on.

Contra III: The Alien Wars (SNES)

Pub: Konami | Dev: Konami | April 1992 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Konami | Dev: Konami | April 1992 | 8 MEGS

In the dying days of the 8-bit Nintendo, the SNES hype train was roaring along faster than even the Shinkansen. Not just by the months and weeks but seemingly by the days and hours. And every Nintendo geek had their own specific game they wanted to see through the wonders of 16-bit. Mario, Zelda, Gradius, Metroid, Castlevania, Mega Man, the list goes on and on. But for yours truly, and many others, Contra was right at the top of that highly esteemed list.

Commando wannabe geeks everywhere in the good ol’ US of A saw their wish come true when Contra III: The Alien Wars was unleashed in April of ’92. Yet ironically, it took me nearly FIFTEEN years later until I could finally call it my own. My SNES rebirth in January 2006 wasn’t merely a resurrection, it was also a chance at gaming redemption.

IN THE BEGINNING…

NES Contra ruled my world in 1988
NES Contra ruled my world in 1988

While many kids grew up on Mario in the mid-late 1980s, and don’t get me wrong — I liked the Italian plumber too, it was really Konami’s CONTRA that cemented me as a video game fan for life. There’s something about being a machine gun strapped soldier blasting alien chunks set over highly atmospheric levels with some of the most memorable video game bosses of all time. Perhaps the best thing about it: you could do it with a buddy. My brother Kevin and I fell in love with Contra when we discovered it at a rental store in 1988. Uncle Jimmy, who then recently moved in, also fell prey to the wonders of this game. I can recall many nights where the three of us rotated turns per level with aid of the infamous Konami “30 MEN” code. A part of me can’t believe it’s almost been 30 years since the three of us stayed up late huddled around the small Sony TV, taking turns saving the universe. Contra was an awesome two-player game. This is not a case of looking back with rose tinted glasses — the 8-bit NES conversion still stands up remarkably well to this day, even nearly 30 years after its release.

In the jungle the lion sleeps... TO-NIGHT [... -Ed.]
In the jungle the lion sleeps… TO-NIGHT [… -Ed.]
From the very first level, that memorable jungle romp, you knew you were in for some kind of treat. Contra conjured quite the intense atmosphere that very few others could. And it paved the way for future run and gun greats like Metal Slug and Gunstar Heroes. It did a lot for gaming, and richly deserves its lofty spot in gaming history. Thank you, Konami, you bastards.

Contra spoke to boys in the '80s like none other
There was no other NES game quite like it

Though ironically, as much as we loved beating the game over and over, Uncle Jimmy never did buy it for us. We rented it several times and a close friend of ours loaned us his copy in exchange of Legendary Wings — a fair trade if there ever was one… ;)

So perhaps it’s fitting I never owned Contra III back in the day either. I never played it extensively until 2008. My old friend Tommy had a copy that I’d play here and there back in ’92 but mostly I would watch our mutual friends Brian and Bryce play. So yeah, it’s a bit strange that I didn’t jump at Contra III back then despite it being at the top of my most wanted list. I guess one reason why — Uncle Jimmy moved out in the spring of ’92 when his wife was pregnant for the second time… the same time Contra III came out — maybe I thought it just wouldn’t be the same without him by our side hooting, hollering and having a good old time. Whatever the reasons were, in October 2008 I decided it was time to finally right a 16 year wrong…

THE STORY, WELL, SUPPOSEDLY…

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“Here we are again bro… just you and me. Same kind of moon, same kind of jungle…”

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“Real number 10 remember… whole platoon, 32 men chopped into meat… we walk out just you and me, nobody else. Right on top huh? Not a scratch… not a fuckin’ scratch. You know whoever got you, they’ll come back again. And when he does I’m gonna cut your name right into him.”

"I'M GONNA CUT YOUR NAME RIGHT INTO HIM!"
“I’M GONNA CUT YOUR NAME INTO HIM!”

"Roger one, we got that, OVER"
“Roger one, we got that, OVER”

The year was 1987. In an undisclosed location in Central America, a special task force was called in to take care of mysterious enemies that hid in the dense and dark jungle. The soldiers assumed it was yet another typical mission but tragically, it was anything but.

No training could have prepared them for this
No training could have prepared them for this

The band of soldiers searched the jungle but found no traces of the enemy, only the bones of the unlucky. At nightfall they split up in several mini-camps, keeping guard. As the men huddled around, an ominous chill filled the raw night air. A soldier’s sixth sense is well developed, and one in particular, Bill Rizer, knew something big was about to go down. His long time partner, Lance Bean, watched as the full moon continue its steady climb in the sky. At its zenith, the bloodshed began.

They were outnumbered, outgunned and outmatched
They were outnumbered. Outgunned. Outmatched

The soldiers were savagely attacked. All order and control went right out the window as many fled for their very lives. The vile creatures knew the jungle inside and out. The men were mice trapped in a snake’s cage. One by one, they were picked off by this invisible threat. The soldiers who did steal a glance saw a sight far too horrible for words.

"AH FUCK ME..."
“AH FUCK ME…”

Gunfire and screams of terror filled the jungle. The enemy was too fast, too smart and too cunning for the men to overcome. Those who stood their ground and fought head on were ripped apart, those who fled were gunned down and those who hid were hunted and swiftly destroyed.

This alien force was too much to handle
This alien force was too much to handle

The men were fighting against an enemy not of this earth. It attacked with an unrelenting fury. This force, this thing that lived inside of them came from a source too VIOLENT, too DEADLY for you to imagine. It grew inside them — contaminating their souls. And now these alien invaders have come to Earth… to kill.

But miraculously, two strong soldiers not only survived the menace — they destroyed it! These two elite soldiers were named…

Bill Rizer code named Mad Dog
Bill Rizer code named Mad Dog
And Lance Bean AKA Scorpion
And Lance Bean AKA Scorpion

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"MY GOD..."
“MY GOD…”
The blast was so great that even the men, flying in from several cities over, could see it
The blast could be seen from miles and miles away

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This became known as the Alien Wars
This became known as THE ALIEN WARS

“Jesus Christ…”

“Jesus ain’t got nothing to do with this.”

“And we’re supposed to somehow KILL THAT?!”

“If it bleeds, we can kill it. No sweat.”

“I see you sweatin’ from over here!”

“I AIN’T GOT TIME TO SWEAT.”

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The final war is at hand… WINNER KEEPS ALL!

FIREPOWER

And you sure need a whole lot of it! Thankfully, now even your default gun is on auto-fire. Some old favorites, like the classic spread gun returns, along with some new updated weapons thanks to the advent of the 1990s (or the 27th century, I suppose). You also have one powerful M-80,000 Helio Bomb per life to blow the aliens to Kingdom Come!

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As mentioned above, at least your standard issue rifle is now automatic. It’ll get the job done in a pinch but you definitely want to make an upgrade soon. The laser cannon packs quite a wallop but it’s pretty damn slow.

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Glad to see the spread gun back, but in my view it was much better in the NES game. The homing missiles definitely come in handy, though weak compared to others.

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This is quite a powerful weapon, especially when you have it in both hands.

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The flame thrower is very useful against certain enemies, and it earns cookie points for looking so damn cool.

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You now have the ability to carry two different weapons at once! Plus, when you hold L and R, fire the trigger button to shoot both weapons at once like a mad man.

LEVEL ONE: NEO CITY

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Where were you back in 1992? Do you remember the first time you fired this game up and anticipated the 16-bit wonders ahead? This stage set the stage!

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... but I got some alien chunks to blow!"
… but I got some alien chunks to blow!”
The car explosions never get old
The car explosions never get old
I love being able to carry two guns at once
I love being able to carry two guns at once

Weapon Wings appear high in the sky just like in the original and must be shot down. You can switch to your other gun, nab that spread shot and have that as your second gun. When you feel like you might die, switch to the less effective gun. That way, when you come back, you still have the good one. Nice! And here we see the smart bomb in its first phase of action. Players get one smart bomb per life. Unfortunately for you, they do not serve as invincible barriers so even a momentary lapse in attention can prove fatal. Smart bombs expand in a massive destructive arc and are best saved for the humongous bosses. The closer you are when you unleash this devastating force the better, as the victim will receive more damage from that extra bit of prolonged exposure.

They're like the turrets in the jungle from NES Contra
They’re like the turrets in the jungle from Contra

Watch out for these sucker guns bursting from out of the ground. And be sure to watch your back for incoming guards.

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Enemies leap out of windows like a beat 'em up
Enemies leap out of windows like it’s a beat ‘em up

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Explosions galore
Explosions galore
So much for man's best friend, eh?
So much for man’s best friend, eh?
Excellent head shot, soldier!
Excellent head shot, soldier!

Another advantage over the NES game is the ability to hold your ground while shooting in any of the eight directions. So now you can fire away anywhere you wish without having to worry about changing your position one iota! Gotta love that SNES controller ;)

Talk about a little fan service
Talk about a little fan service
600 years later and they still haven't patched that up!
600 years later and they still haven’t patched that up
One of the most iconic level one bosses ever
One of the most iconic level one bosses ever

Who could ever forget the very first classic boss from NES Contra? It was so huge that it blew my little five-year-old mind away back in ’88. Talk about one imposing structure! It was a lot easier to kill than it looked but it’s got to be one of the most memorable level one bosses of all time. From the lone red sniper up top to the funky looking gumballs it spewed out, and the cool looking hi-tech square cover at the base there, man, Konami knew HOW TO WORK IT.

"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!"
“HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!”

And while it was a lot more intimidating in the original, it was still nice to see this base make a comeback. And since it’s not a boss, one can see why it’s a much smaller model than its big brother classic.

I love when companies acknowledge their prequels by resurrecting some of the more memorable baddies. It gives the sequel a certain touch of class and history.

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Another satisfying explosion. Gotta love the flash flash. Simply classic stuff.

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TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!
TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!

[Say a prayer, but let the good times roll.

In case God doesn’t shoooow…

And I want these words to make things right…

… but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life.

“Who does he think he is?”

If that’s the worst you got, better put your fingers back to the keys!

One night, and ONE MORE TIME! Tanks for the memories, TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES! Even though they weren’t so great… ahem, sorry… -Ed.]

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Some Weapon Wings contain a Barrier Shield, which conveniently turns red as it’s about to expire. It doesn’t last very long so better get a move on it.

Some six-armed mutant freak? A three-eyed dragon?
Some six-armed mutant freak? A three-eyed dragon?
Well, that was a letdown
Well, that was a letdown

Nope, just a tank and a foot soldier reject. Kind of a wasted opportunity here at a really cool mid-boss but it’s all good. This guy’s OK and kind of a throwback to another Contra baddie…

A subtle nod to this vehicle?
A subtle nod to this vehicle?

Remember this heavy-duty tank rumbling toward ya in level five of NES Contra?

[How could I forget? It killed my guy every gawd damn time! -Ed.]

"COME AT ME, BRO!"
“COME AT ME, BRO!”

Some shades of that nightmare-inducing tank no? Too bad Jimbo doesn’t have his own tank here as well. That would have been too sick.

Difference is this tank was BRUTALLY HARD
Difference is this tank was BRUTALLY HARD
"Seriously bro, the TechnoDrome's THAT-A-WAY!!"
“Yo, the TechnoDrome is THAT-A-WAY!!”

Whereas this tank, not so much. It barely puts up a fight.

"Now what kind of idiot would say that?" -Arnold
“Now what kind of idiot would say that?” -Arnold

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Well Jimbo, most gamers agree this was epic
Sorry Jimbo, but most gamers agree this was epic
See? We knew gaming had just LEVELED UP!
See? We all knew gaming had just LEVELED UP!
WELCOME TO 16-BIT, BISHES!
WELCOME TO 16-BIT, BISHES!
This ain't your Uncle Jimmy's Contra
This ain’t your Uncle Jimmy’s Contra
The Homing Gun works wonders here
The homing gun works well here
It was truly mind-blowing back in '92
It was truly mind-blowing back in 1992
Thank goodness for Jimbo's CrossFit training
Thank goodness for Jimbo’s CrossFit training
Crazy that this is still only the first level
Crazy that this is still only the first level
The anticipation mounts to a fever pitch
The anticipation mounts to a fever pitch

At last you reach the end section. You knew it was boss time. You just didn’t know who or WHAT. But knowing Konami, you knew it was gonna be good…

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"WHAT THE -- !"
“WHAT THE — !”
One of the best looking level one bosses ever
One of the best looking level 1 bosses ever

Konami, never one to disappoint, certainly didn’t here. It’s the giant mutant turtle monster BEAST KIMKOH! Man, I thought the first boss from NES Contra was impressive. This guy is a true terror in every sense, especially in how realistically it seemed to twitch and pulsate.

Er, at least I think it's a he [You check -Ed.]
Er, at least I think it’s a he… [You check -Ed.]
Watch out for that horrible long neck of his. He also emits blue bullets from God only knows where…

[I'm gonna tell Kimkoh you said that -Ed.]
[I’m gonna tell Kimkoh you said that -Ed.]
Gotta love the mutant maggots
Gotta love the mutant maggots
When he's pissed like such, make sure you take the top platform
When he’s pissed, get to the top platform
Good call, Jimbo
Good call, Jimbo

That way you can avoid both his fire breath blast and his bullets. But on the ground? You’d be screwed because it cancels out the option of jumping. You develop lifesaving strategies as you go along and learn the finer points of the game. Good stuff.

Oh quit being dramatic
Oh quit being a drama queen
"ONE DOWN, FIVE TO GO"
“ONE DOWN, FIVE TO GO!”

Beast Kimkoh was such a memorable design. The way it pulsated and squirmed left a lasting impression, and pumped you up to see what horrors lay ahead…

John Woo would be so proud
John Woo would be so proud

LEVEL TWO: MARIA CALDERON HIGHWAY

[I once met a ho -- housewife -- named Maria Calderon... -Ed.]
[I knew a ho — housewife — named Maria Calderon… -Ed.]
With Neo City swept and cleared of all villains, it’s off to the Maria Calderon Highway. Now things are viewed from a top-down perspective. Your goal is to eliminate five Red Corporals hiding in domed manholes. All the while overgrown insects and mad guards hunt you down through this maze of elevated roadway and bridges.

Flashbacks of PlayStation Loaded, anyone?
Flashbacks of PlayStation Loaded, anyone?

Flamethrower should definitely be one of your two guns here if you can nab it.

I prefer 2 Player Mode B, personally
I prefer 2 Player Mode B, personally

When playing the 2 Player Mode A, you get a split screen for this overhead level. However, if you wish to play this stage in a single screen, select 2 Player Mode B. It’s the little things that help make a game (extra) special.

I like the overhead levels better than these ones
I like the overhead levels better than these ones

Level 2 in Contra III reminds me a bit of level 2 from NES Contra. It’s different from the traditional side scrolling stages. They are decent diversions to lend the game some variety. Interestingly enough, just as there were two of these “into the screen” levels, there’s two overhead levels in Contra III. Coincidence?

HINT: Each time it descends, the red spot rotates 90° from its last position. This mechanical spider-esque menace spins high above you before it comes crashing down. Keep moving to avoid being squashed like an ant.

The potent laser gun also works well against the Metallican
The potent laser gun also works well here

The flamethrower is a gem as it can reach the eye without being centered on; remember, it can go through objects to reach an enemy(‘s weak point)!

Shame on ya, Sully. Nowhere to be seen...
Shame on ya, Sully. Nowhere to be seen…

LEVEL THREE: THE OLD CYBER STEEL MILL

 

 

 

 

 

I remember seeing this damn stage every single freaking time I headed over to Tommy’s house back in ’92. I just love the atmosphere this stage brings. That dark smoggy sky, the brown depressing colors… playing this level particularly on a dark afternoon is rather surreal.

 

 

 

 

 

The evil forces of Red Falcon have taken over the last remaining functional steel factory in Neo City. The aliens use it as a landing pad for arriving allies. Be sure to equip yourself with a flamethrower — you’re gonna need it…

 

 

 

 

 

You see? These Gigaflies are toast. BURN BABY BURN!

With a bud you can cover both sides with a flamethrower
2 players can cover both sides with a flamethrower

Say hello to ole Chrome Dome, and I’m not talking about the villain from the Ninja Turtles. He’s a cinch with the flamethrower as you can reach him from there. Otherwise you gotta grab hold of his “arms” and shoot his red eye as you go around in circles. Once killed, he’ll flip his arms wildly in one last ditch effort to take you down to hell with him.

contra3-3g

Far be it for Konami to let you have a nice and easy climb, no, another mid-boss terror comes right after you. Shoot down those missiles.

contra3-3h

contra3-3i

Sure, stand in the searchlight why don't cha!
Sure, stand in the searchlight why don’t cha!
"I like my wings nice and fried!"
“I like my wings nice and fried!”
Going in deep now...
Going in deep now…
That "lock" option is a game  changer
That “lock” option is a game changer

Running out of the pod, the wretched flock swoops down on our hero… like lambs to the slaughter!

contra3-3lcontra3-3n

 

 

 

 

 

Uh oh… glancing through the opening, you see clear as day what lies ahead. There’s no turning back now, Jimbo…

They're called BOB 1 and BOB 2. No joke
They’re called BOB 1 and BOB 2. No joke
I'm the real B.O.B. and I do not approve of BOB 1 or 2
I’m the real B.O.B. and I don’t approve of BOB 1 or 2
Double your fun, double your pain...
Double your fun, double your pain…

AH-HA! The evil robots spring to life and war is waged. This is one of the coolest boss fights ever. Once disposed of both BOBs (remember their torsos flying around?)… it ain’t quite over yet…

contra3-3q-ccontra3-3r-ccontra3-3s-c

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh oh… you knew it couldn’t be THAT easy, and you were right! [I always am -Ed.]

"HOLY SHIT!"
“HOLY SHIT!”

It’s the ROBO-CORPSE!

I have fond memories of watching Brian and Bryce tackle this titantic tin of terror. Back in ’92 this literally blew our minds and EVEN today it still impresses.

This is one of the most memorable and classic sights from gaming history. It was stunning then and remains an epic experience even to this very day, nearly 25 years later.

"Hey buddy, ever heard of LISTERINE?"
“Hey buddy, ever heard of LISTERINE?”

Robo-Breath fires homing lasers from his eyes and also does one mean Godzilla impersonation. What a perfect boss — it was gorgeous yet grotesque!

This is what gaming is all about
This is what gaming is all about

Pelting him like no tomorrow is utterly satisfying. Watching his whole body flash and waiting until the last possible second to get the hell outta dodge. Climb to the top, drop down and repeat. It was as intense as it was epic. Konami FTW again.

contra3-3w-ccontra3-3x-c

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Robo-Corpse bites the dust, he REALLY bites the dust. The very thing that gave him “life” so to speak is the same thing that swipes his head clean off… a fitting end to an unforgettable boss encounter. Konami were freakin’ maestros in this domain, bar none.

"Would you like Gigafries with that?"
“Would you like Gigafries with that?”

LEVEL FOUR: THE BATTLE OF THE BLAZING SKY

contra3-4

No rest for the wicked, but thankfully you’re able to give your weary legs a break as you leap aboard a hovering motorcycle (like the speeder bikes from Return of the Jedi). Psycho Cyclers attempt to cut your quest short with a few well-placed grenades.

ProTip: Stay to the far left
ProTip: Stay to the far left

You’ll be attacked both on the ground and in the air. Thankfully you can leap above your motorcycle and not worry about becoming roadkill — they will automatically move under you because of their advanced rider-tracking system. It makes for one intense, fast-moving, action-packed level.

PS2's Contra: Shattered Soldier replicated this
PS2’s Contra: Shattered Soldier replicated this bit

A gigantic battleship flies just above you as it rains down a parade of laser beams. Lock your position and let ‘er rip! Later, a bomb is dropped that engulfs the entire road, so make sure to time your jump well. One split nanosecond off and you’re fried.

Talk about having fire in your eyes
Talk about having fire in your eyes

This strange looking mid-boss can be somewhat unpredictable, swinging his legs around wildly and even charging at our hero. The longer you let it live, the more erratic his pattern seems to grow.

contra3-4d

After catching a lift on a helicopter, Slash comes to greet ya. He’s pretty tough, attacking with a sword and throwing shuriken-like blades.

Not even Chuck Norris stands a chance
Not even Chuck Norris stands a chance
... is right. Another epic boss battle in the books, folks
… is right. Another epic boss battle in the books
Once again Sully is nowhere to be found...
Once again Sully is nowhere to be found…

LEVEL FIVE: THE MUCHO GRANDE BADLANDS

I like how the overhead levels lets you pick where to start
I like how you can pick where your starting point is

The Mucho Grande Badlands (what a funky name) is a return in concept to level two’s Maria Calderon Highway. Players must gun down five enemy entrances while avoiding mutant insects and crossing precariously thin strips of land and collapsing bridges.

contra3-5a

Shifting sand ain't bad -- it's the swirly ones I hate!
Shifting sand ain’t bad — it’s the swirly ones I hate!

On easy mode he can be finished with the laser gun in literally under 10 seconds. But on Hard… YEAH. Good luck…

JIMBO: The Lone Planetary Defender
JIMBO: The Lone Planetary Defender

LEVEL SIX: RED FALCON’S MAIN BASE

Many foul creatures await
Many foul creatures await

This is it. The last stand. The final whistle, if you will. Better stock up on bombs…

Awesome mini-boss. They don't make 'em like they used to!
Epic enemy. They don’t make ‘em like they used to!

Who could ever forget this monstrosity from the NES game? I used to call him the “Long Neck Alien Monster.”  My brother, Uncle Jimmy and I loved killing this guy. When I think of Contra, this parasite here is always the very first bad guy that comes to mind. He blew our minds back in ’88 and he wasn’t even a boss! Remember how you stood at the edge of that wretched pillar there, blasting away at his jaw while your buddy took care of the shrimp? I know you do. I know I do. There are video game enemies that you remember for life. This is one of them.

LOOK WHO'S BACK, JACK!
LOOK WHO’S BACK, JACK!

In a true nod to the fans if there ever was one, Konami resurrected the nasty Para-Slug for Contra III, once more serving as Red Falcon’s “mini-boss” terror in the game’s final stage. He’s not quite as intimidating and menacing as he was in his first appearance, but he still looks pretty dang cool.

Konami no doubt loved the ALIEN films
Konami no doubt loved the ALIEN films

Speaking of knowing and appreciating one’s history, remember the last stage in the NES game? That decrepit alien lair littered with scorpion-spiders and abominable parasites? Let’s see how they do it 16-bit style…

Well it's very similar here -- only 10 times more intense!
It’s very similar here — only 10 times more intense!
Nearly 30 years and Contra's heartbeat still resonates
Nearly 30 years and Contra‘s heartbeat still resonates

Here’s another classic sight seared into our memory banks. It’s the final boss from NES Contra, that vile beating heart of Red Falcon! Nothing quite satisfied like pumping that organ full of lead until it exploded unmercifully! Ahhh, just thinking about it warms the heart (no pun intended). Really hard to fathom it’s almost been 30 years, no?

Konami with another nod to the fans
Konami with another nod to the fans

I love seeing the old memorable baddies from NES Contra resurrected for this 16-bit sequel. Although this is a neat design in its own right, the NES one I have to say was that much more memorable. Still, it’s a most welcomed sight indeed.

I love how the heart flashes with each shot it takes
I love how the heart flashes with each shot it takes

Talk about a hell of a heart attack [Tsk tsk -Ed.]
Talk about a hell of a heart attack [Tsk -Ed.]
You thought at first you had saved the world but a pesky feeling kept gnawing at you as you stood there admiring your handiwork. And just up ahead the sinister path, you got your answer…

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly the landscape changes to an even more rotten state. The ground rumbles madly and from the rubble comes forth a truly horrific monster!

"YOU ONE UGLY MUTHAFUCKER!"
“YOU ONE UGLY MUTHAFUCKER!”

He’s easier than he looks. When he rushes you, be ready to jump onto his spider-like legs. You can even catch a lift up top. When he lets his guard down, aim for his face and don’t hold back.

Red Falcon's final line of defense
Red Falcon’s final line of defense

The fourth and final mini-boss, the Vicious Slave Hawk, can be a bit of a bitch if you don’t have the flamethrower.

You've hit the motherload, Jimbo
You’ve hit the motherload, Jimbo

Sometimes pictures are worth a thousand words. What a spectacular sight for sore eyes this was and still is.

You don't know what, but something bad is happening
“This can’t possibly be good…”

How astute an observation on your cunning part, Jimbo. Who needs college, eh?

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

Here are a few examples of his offensive attacks. The Russian Roulette manner is pretty neat. Never know what form you’ll get and it makes fighting this final boss slightly different each time.

"Oh damn, it's DEFINITELY a male..."
“Oh damn, it’s DEFINITELY a male…”

I like this one. It’s got a nice look. He moves pretty fast so don’t get too greedy in shooting him down. Pick your spots and move along accordingly with him so you don’t get squashed!

Kinda looks like a sinister starfish
Kinda looks like a sinister starfish
But wait a second, what's this?
All is clear and safe, right? Uh, sure…

WOO HOO, you saved the universe — job well done, soldier. Now… GET TO DA CHOPPA!

"AW SHIT!"
“AW SHIT!”
OH SNAPS
OH SNAPS
"SEE YA IN HELL RED FALCON!"
“SEE YA IN HELL RED FALCON!”

In typical classic sci-fi and horror movie style, the bad guy comes back for one last stand. This only happens on Hard, and it is only on Hard that you can get the real ending.

Good luck Donald Trump and America...
Good luck Donald Trump and America…

"Jimbo, let's blow his brains out!"  [HA HA HA -Ed.]
“Let’s blow his brains out!”  [HA HA HA -Ed.]
Some lovely black and white photos are shown in the real ending.

Mad Dog and Scorpion would have been proud
Mad Dog and Scorpion would be proud

CLASSIC KONAMI CHEAT? ON THE CONTRA-RY

Who could ever forget this?
Up up, down down, LEFT RIGHT OUTTA THE GAME!

Don’t bother looking for the infamous Konami code in the US version of Contra III because it doesn’t exist. If you really want to cheat, and I could understand why — the game’s blasted difficult as heck on Normal or higher, then you’ll need a Game Genie.

Game Genie Cheats:

Infinite Lives (on side-scrolling levels):  22BB-AD01
Infinite Lives (on top-down levels):  22BB-6F0B + 6DBB-64DB
Infinite Bombs (on side-scrolling levels):  2264-D760
Infinite Bombs (on top-down levels):  22B8-0766

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN US, JAPANESE AND PAL

For a change, the US cover is 10 times better
For a change, the US cover is 10 times better

That is refreshing, indeed. The Super Famicom box art is infamous for sporting a very striking Arnold lookalike. The Super Famicom version is titled Contra Spirits and has a 30 lives code (but is not done in the traditional Konami fashion). Unlike other US conversions (such as Super Castlevania IV), not much has been censored to the best of my knowledge. The US effort is by and large the exact same game as the Japanese one, except the US version is a bit more difficult to say the least. Contra Spirits gives you infinite continues, plus you can see the real ending on Normal not Hard as it is with Contra III.

The UK called Contra III Super Probotector
The UK called Contra III “Super Probotector”
It's still relatively the same exact game...
It’s still relatively the same exact game…
... except the heroes are robots rather than humans
… except the heroes are robots rather than humans

I’M SO “AD” TO SEE YOU

And what's that, playa?
And what’s that, playa?
Yeah, that works
Yeah, that works

FROM THE BOOK OF KONAMI

Who could forget the Demon that guarded the top of the Waterfalls?
Who could ever forget this mechanical monstrosity?

Throughout gaming’s history we have seen some amazing, mind-blowing bosses. Screen filling demons and monsters that ruled our living room,  leaving us speechless upon sight and utterly pleased as we watched them crumble after a hard fought battle. Indeed, few companies had the magic touch that Konami had. Their bosses are simply the stuff legends (and nightmares) are made of.

Mutagen gone horribly wrong!
Mutagen gone horribly wrong!

Thankfully, Contra III continued Konami’s masterful tradition. From the very first boss, that menacing mutant snapping turtle, bursting out of the bloody walls, you were sure of two things. One, you would never forget the image. And two, Konami still had it. They still had that magic touch. The first thing that comes to mind whenever someone mentions Konami are the many memorable bosses the firm has produced over the years.

The "Transformers" boss from NES Contra was a hell of a sight
The “Transformers” boss from NES Contra was sick

contranl4-b

transformersicontransformersicon2

 

 

 

 

God I loved the ’80s…

The '90s were pretty rad, too
The early-mid ’90s was special, too
Thanks Konami for making those years extra memorable
Thanks Konami for making that time extra enjoyable

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

#8 on EGM's Top 100 List issue #100  (Nov. 1997)
#8 on EGM’s Top 100. Issue #100 (November 1997)

Contra III: The Alien Wars was destined for instant classic status the moment it hit game stores nationwide back in good ol’ 1992. Fans of the previous games and game reviewers everywhere ate it up. To this day, with as many Contra incarnations as there are, many still cite Contra III as being the very best Contra game of all. Mighty high praise indeed, considering the franchise had more than its fair share of stellar games.

  • EGM: 9, 9, 9, 9
  • Super Play: 90%

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"DIE YOU SON OF BITCHES!  YO JIMBO -- COVER ME!"
“DIE YOU SONS OF BITCHES! YO JIMBO — COVER ME!”

From the very start players enter a post apocalyptic war torn universe overran with alien forces. From blowing up cars and towers to hitching rides on tanks and braving through a flame-engulfed section, the stage is set beautifully for one epic, intense action fest. The graphics are often impressive and at times they are truly spectacular. The music is brilliant, with an excellent mixture of metallic guitars and big orchestral pieces. The sampled grunts and screams complement the on screen mayhem. It’s everything you hope 16-bit Contra would be and more.

"I'M KINDA BUSY OVER HERE MYSELF, SULLY!"
“HEY I’M A LITTLE BUSY OVER HERE MYSELF, SULLY!”

Perhaps the best thing about Contra III is the same quality that made the first Contra so damn good. Crisp, smooth and intense action that lets you run and gun with a buddy. There’s something really cool (and fun) about strapping on your boots, teaming up with a pal and taking on evil forces that outnumber you by the hundreds. Contra III plays and controls like a dream. It is truly well deserving of all the hype and praise that’s been thrown its way over the past quarter century!

Konami delivers an instant 16-bit classic
Konami delivers yet another instant 16-bit classic

There are so many improvements over the NES game and that was already a great game to begin with! For starters, the smart bomb brings a certain back pocket security card to the table. Then you have the ability to carry two different weapons at once. The current weapon you’re holding is gone when you die. In a hairy situation you can even pause the game to switch! You can also fire both guns at once. In addition, they resurrected some old sights and baddies as a nod to the fans. There’s more strategy here than ever before. And let’s not forget about that handy lock feature. The different difficulty levels cater to players of varying skill. Contra III has got both style and substance.

The mind is a terrib -- terrific thing to waste!
The mind is a terrible, nay, TERRIFIC thing to waste!

The gameplay is still classic Contra, except now 10 times as intense. With two players it’s simply an unbeatable experience. I only wish it were a level or two longer. Breathtaking boss battles, memorable mini bosses, awesome set pieces, amazing atmosphere, smooth-as-hell run and gun gameplay, impressive graphics and sound to match — what more could you ask for? It’s a short game but I find myself coming back for more, and often. Contra III deserves all the hype it gets. A level or two short of perfection, this ain’t your Uncle Jimmy’s Contra — it’s even better. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get back to saving the world and blasting some alien ass. BOO YAH!

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9.5
Gameplay: 9.5
Longevity: 9

Overall: 9.5

Double Gold Award
Double Gold Award

 

 

 

"We think we're a 10 but we'll take the 9.5!"
“We think we’re a 10 but hey, we’ll take the 9.5!”

“Thanks for the top score, mate!”

“Hey, we earned it!”

“I only have one last thing to say…

… GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!!!!!!!!”