Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium (SFC)

Arguably the greatest 16-bit wrestling game ever

Fire Pro Wrestling. It’s a cult classic franchise that has picked up steam over the years. Even back in the day of the late ’90s, when the internet was still relatively new, I remember hearing the rumblings online of Fire Pro. People were talking about Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium for the Super Famicom and Fire Pro S: Six Man Scramble for the Sega Saturn. My brother bought Fire Pro G on the Sony PlayStation and we played it to death. A little later on I bought Six Man Scramble.

Here comes the calvary
Here comes the calvary
It's an all out WAR!
It’s an all out WAR!
Somewhere Samurai Shodown is smiling
Somewhere Samurai Shodown is smiling
Tag team moves up the wazoo
Tag team moves up the wazoo

Fire Pro games are well known for being very realistic and in-depth. There were several entries on the Super Famicom but the last one, Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium, was the best of the 16-bit lot. Four could wrestle at once, and there was an extensive create a wrestler mode where you could create and save up to 80 wrestlers. It blew away any other “CAW” at that time (1996). It was revolutionary in many ways. The grappling is based on a timing and strength system. No button mashing here! I never was a huge fan of wrestling games where you had to mash away in order to win a grapple. Here you win based on timing, which is far more enjoyable. There are weak, medium and strong buttons. If you start out a match trying to use medium or strong moves, your opponent will counter because they’re still too fresh. No energy bars are shown — you’ll just instinctively know how strong or weak someone is.

REVOLUTIONARY FOR ITS TIME

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There are a crap load of wrestlers to choose from. It spans many different federations and even include a few familiar American faces, like Hawk here of Road Warriors/Legion of Doom fame (R.I.P.)

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SUPLEX CITY! Somewhere Brock Lesnar is pacing as Paul Heyman preps his vocal cords. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN…”

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There are several modes to select from. The game is mostly in Japanese but of course there is a fan English translation floating out there. I always switch the ref to this old guy here — he counts the slowest of all the refs and so the matches are extended a little bit beyond the norm.

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HULK HOGAN and UNDERTAKER?! Yup, they’re available from the start.

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Tonight’s main event is a FATAL FOUR WAY featuring the Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, Hayabusa and ECW’s homicidal, suicidal, genocidal death-defying maniac, SABU! It’s gonna be a barnburner, folks! That shot of all four men knocked out on the mat is a sign of the chaos and sheer insanity to come…

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Hulkster does his classic pose. Sabu then points to the sky to honor his uncle, The Sheik. Just like their real life counterparts back in their hey day. Great attention to detail! Coming from HUMAN and Fire Pro you wouldn’t expect anything less.

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Tonight’s main event will continue until there is one man (or dead man) left standing. Every man for himself, elimination style. Let’s check out the action!

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Undertaker delivers a high impact side suplex while Hogan tries to shut up the marks with a well executed Boston Crab.

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Hogan with the Big Leg Drop of Doom! Hayabusa tried to intercept it but his timing was a bit off there. In reality we all know nothing stops Hulkamania.

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Hayabusa shows off his strength by slamming the dead man, followed by a nice senton flip. Meanwhile, the Hulkster delivers a sweet vertical suplex to the mad man, Sabu.

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“STUNNER! STUNNER!! STUNNER!!!” -Jim Ross, probably

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Taker with his patented beautiful running flying clothesline. Meanwhile, Hulk hits Sabu with a nasty pinning power bomb.

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Hayabusa shows off his classic 450 Splash.

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German suplex well executed. That’s gonna leave a mark.

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Nobody ever said Sabu was smart now. He lives up to the “suicidal” part of his nickname, for sure. Meanwhile, notice that gorgeous DDT on the Hulkster there. Hayabusa spiked him good! Somewhere Jake “The Snake” Roberts is grinning.

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FLYING SPINNING CARTWHEEL KICK AND A BEAUTY! Taker displays his power with a standing delayed vertical suplex. The mat crashes with the bodies of these fierce, insane gladiators.

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Break up pin falls if you wish to have all the glory for yourself.

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Hayabusa and Sabu form a temporary alliance to take down the Immortal One, but the Undertaker has other plans.

The X sign! He's injured!
The infamous X — he’s injured!

So much for that alliance, eh? Sabu turns on the masked warrior right after and gets him to submit. Not only that but judging by the referee’s X signal, that means we have a legitimate injury… after all, referees show the X sign in real life for real injuries. They’ve never used it as part of a storyline…

Or maybe they did (WrestleMania 22)
Or maybe they have… see WrestleMania 22 and Ric Flair. WOO!

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Speaking of the legendary Nature Boy, Ric Flair, look at Hogan taking a page out of Flair’s playbook!

Ric, it worked once in 63 years!
Ric, it worked like once in 49 bloody years!

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Choke Slam and a beauty! That HAS to be it!

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WHAT THE FU — !

hbk-vs-undertaker-wm-25-highli-o
WrestleMania 25
Taker is SHOCKED!
Taker is SHOCKED!
HOW DID HE KICK OUT?!
HOW DID HE KICK OUT?!

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Hogan tried to mock D-Generation X by doing their signature crotch chop, but the Dead Man wasn’t having any of that.

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Guess Taker really took great offense to Hogan trying to rip off DX…

No hulking up here
No hulking up here

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“WOULD SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH!” Look at the way Sabu’s head bounced violently off the mat. “GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!” is right, Jim Ross.

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“AS GOD IS MY WITNESS HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!” The winner of the match, via DEATH, THE UNDERTAKER!

NOT QUITE PERFECT, THOUGH

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Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium does a lot of things right, especially for 1996 standards. However, it’s not quite perfect. For starters, when you’re near the apron of the ring it’s far too easy to fall outside. It’s awkward and kind of kills the flow of a match. This of course was fixed in later Fire Pro games. Another disappointment is that submission moves are way overpowered. I hate seeing an opponent tap out in a simple head lock hold five minutes into the match. It’s just not realistic. Later Fire Pro games gave you the option to turn submissions off, which negates this flaw. Unfortunately there’s no such option here. Another thing that this game is missing are steel cage matches, tables, fluorescent light bulbs, barb wire and all the crazy gimmicks and weapons that the later Fire Pro games would introduce. Think of this as a very PG and promising start to the series, but it’s far from being the “perfect” Fire Pro game. It’s like an early proto of what would become the successful backbone of the series. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an excellent game but whenever I play it it’s hard not to think about the improvements the series would later introduce, and you kind of wish at least a few of those made their debut here. Hell, just give me the no submissions and I’d be happy. Nevertheless, even as is, this is easily one of the greatest wrestling games of the 16-bit era. Possibly even the greatest…

CAW CAW CAW!

Classic WWF wrestlers!
Classic WWF wrestlers!

The Create A Wrestler (CAW) mode was revolutionary for its time. You could create and save up to 80 wrestlers. There were tons of moves and body models to pick from that you could closely replicate your favorite titans of the squared circle. Here we see Macho Man Randy Savage, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Sgt. Slaughter and the Ultimate Warrior. They all resemble their real life counterpart pretty damn well! So if you take the time you can easily recreate the magic of late ’80s/early ’90s WWF!

Rock it Four Horsemen style
Rock it Four Horsemen style
Going super old school with Bobo!
Go super old school with Bobo!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Wrestling digital Heaven
Wrestling digital Heaven

It’s easy to see why Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium is so beloved. Released in March of 1996, it’s been over 20 years now and the game remarkably still holds up well. As I stated a bit earlier, there are definitely better more recent Fire Pro games available, but considering this now 20 plus year old game can still stand toe to toe with most wrestling games from ANY era is no doubt impressive indeed. It speaks to how innovative and fresh this game was back in ’96. You want to recreate the Attitude WWF era? Or the Ruthless Aggression era? Or WCW? ECW? Perhaps relive the Monday Night War? With a little time and devotion to the CAW mode, you can! The game certainly isn’t without its flaws but you simply have to appreciate how deep this game was and still is. Human did a great job and should be highly commended. The series definitely didn’t peak here, but it no doubt laid its grass roots with Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium.

WWF-SNES Connection

When you think of the Super Nintendo, what characters come to mind?

Mario?
Mario?
Link?
Link?
Ryu?
Ryu?
LESTER THE UNLIKELY?!
LESTER THE UNLIKELY?!

… On second thought, that last one’s unlikely, I reckon.

[Oh dear -Ed.]

Well…

How about MARK CALLOWAY?

Possibly unbeknownst to most of us, Mr. Calloway actually has more in common with the SNES than one might initially think.

THE DEBUT OF TWO PHENOMS

Released November 21, 1990
The world forever changed on November 21, 1990

A little over 26 years ago as I write this, the Super Famicom (Japanese Super Nintendo) launched in Japan. It made a huge splash and as history dictates it went on to smash a lot of video game records and burrowed its way deep into our gaming hearts.

Who's the mystery partner?!
Who’s the mystery partner?!

Meanwhile, over in America, with no internet back then and being all of seven years old, I had no idea that the Super Famicom just made its big splash. All I knew was I couldn’t wait for the 4th Annual Survivor Series event! It was Dusty Rhodes’ Dream Team (R.I.P. Dusty) versus Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. But wait, DiBiase had a mystery partner. The match graphic to this day is seared into my memory bank. I remember my brother and I having long discussions about who it possibly might be. An old familiar face from the past, or a brand new superstar? It was exciting times. Finally, the day of the 1990 Survivor Series came. November 22, 1990. It was exactly one day after the Super Famicom made its debut.

Get the scoop, Sean Mooney!
Get the scoop, Sean Mooney!

I’ll never forget the moment DiBiase hit the ring with only two of his three team partners backing him. The WWF (World Wrestling Federation) played up the drama perfectly to the very end. My brother and I were on the edge of our seats. Who and where was this mystery partner?

Tell 'em, Ted!
Tell ‘em, Ted!

DiBiase grabbed the microphone and made the announcement himself. It was unheard of as the ring announcer always made the announcements. This only proved to punctuate the moment even further. This was a moment in time. A moment in wrestling history none of us would ever forget.

“I’ve said it a million times before — EVERYONE’S GOT A PRICE FOR THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN! So without further ado, I’ll introduce to you now my mystery partner. Led to the ring by his manager, Brother Love, weighing in at THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS, from DEATH VALLEY — I GIVE YOU… THE UNDERTAKER, HAHAHAHA!!!”

Gorilla: The Undertaker — the mystery partner — is now revealed!
Piper: I never heard of him –
Gorilla: OH TAKE A LOOK!
Piper: HO-HOLY COW! … LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAM HOCK! … Check out them drumsticks, baby!
Gorilla: Three hundred and twenty pounds, looks to be 6’9″ 6’10” — somewhere in that neighborhood, Rod.
Piper: 6’10″… I don’t know, it’s hard to tell from here…
Gorilla: There’s only supposed to be four members on a team — this guy makes four and a half, MAYBE FIVE!

WHOA MAMA!
WHOA MAMA!

The music, the look, the entrance, the commentary… everything added to create a perfect storm. It was an unforgettable debut — one of the best in the company’s history. The Undertaker was an instant star.

He scared me that night
He scared many of us that night
What a star in the making!
What a star in the making!

There was something different about the Undertaker. You just knew he was going to be a mega star. Little did we know… just how big of a star he would become. But yeah, such great memories that night over 26 years ago now. The Undertaker towered over everyone in that ring, and he just looked like he was in a whole ‘notha league compared to the others, and there were some true legends in that ring! Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart to name a few. Taker held his own and then some. Great wrestling memory!

OLD SCHOOL!
OLD SCHOOL!

Billed at a towering 6 foot 10, and seemingly impervious to pain, fans quickly took notice of his unparalleled combination of size, power and agility.

R.I.P. HULKAMANIA
R.I.P. HULKAMANIA

The Undertaker dominated the WWF, going undefeated for over a year in his meteroic rise to the top. Just one year removed from his debut, he made history when he pinned the IMMORTAL Hulk Hogan to become the new Heavyweight Champion at Survivor Series 1991. Few titans before could touch Hulkamania. But the Dead Man was a different sort of beast. The industry never saw anyone quite like the Undertaker before.

The Super Nintendo was released in the US August of that same year, and as the Undertaker cemented his place in wrestling history in ’91, so too did the SNES (in gaming history, mind) by beginning its worldwide march toward market domination.

The Undertaker appeared in no less than six SNES games, and even more. That’s more than most other SNES characters, and gave Mario a run for his money!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Streak
The Streak

The Undertaker had an unprecedented WrestleMania record of 21-0 before Brock Lesnar defeated him at WrestleMania 30 (2014) to make the Dead Man 21-1. Currently, his record sits at 23-1 and he’s definitely gunning for 24-1 at 2017’s WrestleMania 33 in Orlando, Florida. Amazingly, 26+ years later the Undertaker is still wrestling (albeit on an extremely part time basis). The Super Nintendo, although long “dead,” continues to live on in the hearts of retro gamers worldwide. The Undertaker and the Super Nintendo are two phenoms in their respective line of business. Their legacies speak for themselves and I’m positive both will be remembered fondly for generations to come.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Undertaker and SNES go hand in hand!
Undertaker and SNES go hand in hand!

I’ve always been a pro wrestling fan from the days of the late ’80s when I first saw the union of the Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage) on an episode of Saturday Night’s Main Event in the fall of 1987. I remain a fan to this day and the Undertaker is a true force in the industry. I got nothing but love and respect for the man and the myth. The Super Nintendo, of course, is my favorite gaming system of all time, and it’s fun to think about the similarities the two share with one another. Who knew the SNES and the Undertaker would have so much in common? They’ve given us 26 years of countless memories, left a lasting legacy and are sure to still be lionized in the years and generations to come. A toast to two awesome phenoms — the Undertaker and the SNES!

RESPECT
RESPECT

WWF Memories

What The World Is Watching
Warning: wrestling nostalgia overload ahead

I love and will always love wrestling. Growing up, I was a huge WWF fan. A mark, “if you wheel” (R.I.P. “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes). With WrestleMania right around the corner, I find myself reminiscing fondly about my WrestleMania weekend experience this time last year (2015). It also made me think of my fandom origins and what wrestling has meant to me growing up.

IT BEGAN ONE SATURDAY NIGHT IN ’87

THE MEGA POWERS!
The infamous Handshake Heard Round The World

My fandom began in 1987 when one night my uncle flipped on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I witnessed the awesome pairing of the “Immortal” Hulk Hogan and “Macho Man” Randy Savage, better known as The Mega Powers. Macho Man’s raspy, iconic voice of “Ooh yea dig it!” combined with the Hulkster’s classic trademark saying of “Eat your vitamins, train hard and say your prayers” won me over. The two colorful characters were bigger than life. And in that moment they made me, an impressionable four year old boy, believe in a greater force and a higher power, brutha.

From that point on, I was hooked for life. It was not long before my uncle took me to the local video store so we could rent the latest wrestling extravaganzas on VHS. My brother got into it as well, and for the three of us, wrestling quickly became a religion.

Ah, them vintage VHS covers
The cover of Halloween Havoc ’89 haunts me to this day

My uncle and I rented all our wrestling tapes from Video Mart. A mom and pop shop, Video Mart had a solid wrestling selection right next to the horror section. It was a blast gawking at the various covers. The one that sticks out in my mind even to this day is Halloween Havoc ’89. It looked more like a horror movie. I felt the only thing missing from Halloween Havoc ’89 was a white William Shatner mask. The Legion of Doom posing with that sinister pumpkin grinning in the background is firmly embedded in my soul.

BECOMING A CULTURAL PHENOMENON

Ah, my childhood *sniff*
Ah, my childhood *sniff*

Wrestling exploded beyond just television. You also had them in the form of toys. What ’80s child doesn’t remember M.U.S.C.L.E.?

Hasbro's WWF lineup was the best
Fathering 101: when in doubt, bribe

But the real prize was Hasbro’s first WWF run. In the summer of 1990, my mom and brother went to Paris for vacation, leaving me and my old man to fend for ourselves. There are three things that resulted from that which I fondly recall:

  1. I missed them dearly, especially my mom
  2. I ate a lot of McDonald’s (my mom did all the cooking)
  3. It was the summer that I discovered Hasbro’s WWF lineup. I never looked back
They don't make 'em like they used to
They don’t make ‘em like they used to

When my brother got back from Paris, he and I built our collection together slowly but surely. There were 12 figures in the original 1990 lineup. We had all of them but one…

My white whale, Jake "The Snake" Roberts
My white whale, Jake “The Snake” Roberts

One Saturday night, in a most shocking turn of events, my mom told me and my brother that she was taking us to Toys R Us to find the last action figure we needed — in her words – “the wrestler with the snake.” My mom was frugal but there was definitely magic in the air that night. Thanks mom.

In addition to their toys, the WWF even made trading cards, which my bro and I quickly began collecting.

Virgil signed my card, and he didn't charge me $50!
Virgil signed my card, and he didn’t charge me $50!

Google “Lonely Virgil” for a laugh.

One day in late ’92 there was a sign at our local mall advertising an upcoming special appearance by WWF superstar Virgil. My uncle, brother and I were stoked. This was our chance to meet our first wrestler up close and personal. I wanted to ask Virgil one question: “Is wrestling fake?” I replayed the question in my head for days. But by the time I came face to face with Virgil and saw his bulging muscles, my mind went completely blank! Even though Virgil was a lower tier wrestler, he was larger than life and I found myself in sheer awe of the guy. Such is the magic of wrestling!

The WWF found more ways to penetrate the consciousness of the public in the early ’90s.

Damn best bar in town!
Best damn ice cream bar in town! #CMPunk
I was a subscriber in 1994...
I was a subscriber in 1994…
One of my most crushing childhood disappointments
An Andre-sized disappointment
Redemption never tasted so sweet
Redemption never tasted so sweet

THE BEST WRESTLING WEEKEND OF MY LIFE

My childhood best friend Nelson and I grew up huge WWF fanatics. We always promised each other that one day, somehow, we would attend a WrestleMania together. Last year, we finally made good on a 20+ year childhood vow. We made the trip over and it turned out to be three days of wrestling nirvana. Join me for a look back.

NXT is WWE's developmental brand
Jeez, I can’t believe it’s already been one year. Wow

NXT is WWE’s “developmental” brand.

It was great seeing Hideo Itami and "the Demon" Finn Balor in person
Hideo Itami and “the Demon” Finn Balor killed it
Charlotte and Sasha had a match at midnight that stole the show
Charlotte and Sasha had a match at midnight that stole the show
The event ended at 1 in the morning!
The event ended at 1 in the morning!

I’ll never forget being there. The energy in that building was electric. We chanted all night long, and the wrestling was SUPERB. WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross came out to sit at ringside and received a rousing ovation. There was a real “ECW vibe” to the whole event, and when it finally ended at 1 AM, five thousand crazed wrestling fanatics filled the streets of downtown San Jose. It was quite the scene! WrestleMania was now just two days away and you could feel this incredible buzz. Everyone was drunk on wrestling. It’s corny but I get the feels just thinking back on it.

Speaking of good ole JR, the very next morning (a mere 10 hours later) it was off to…

"BAH GAWD!"
“BAH GAWD!”

Jim Ross was a long time commentator of the WWE and often considered by many as pro wrestling’s best commentator of all time (with all due respect to the late great Gordon Solie). JR has accumulated a great deal of epic wrestling tales over the years, and I wasn’t about to miss out on JR Story Time.

"Oh hey Vince..."
“Oh hey Vince…”

JR opened his bit with an amusing mock phone call. It went something like this…

“Oh hey Vince. Hey listen, I’m kind of busy right now. I’ve got um, a few folks here (note: there were 800 of us, so that line drew a good laugh). I’m running a show here bah Gawd, but um, you wouldn’t know that would you? Oh, as it pertains to tomorrow night’s main event between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns, I’m telling ya, GO WITH BROCK.”

About 90% of the room popped, while the other 10% (the Roman fanboys) quietly stewed.

All in all, a good time was had by all. JR told stories around the campfire, and then there was a Q&A session. Samoa Joe also made a special guest appearance. It was fun. Next, it was off to…

My favorite, the Macho Man Randy Savage, was getting inducted
About time my favorite, Macho Man, got in!

I enjoyed the Hall of Fame, but it was definitely my least favorite of the four events that weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some WWE Hall of Fame. The stories are what make it great. The speeches in 2015 left something to be desired, especially compared to other years. It’d be a different story if Randy Savage were still alive and able to speak, but it was not meant to be.

Finally, it was the moment Nelson and I had been waiting 20+ years for…

If you're a wrestling fan, you gotta go at least once
If you’re a wrestling fan, you gotta go at least once
We had a decent enough view
We had a decent enough view
Things started off hot with a  nutty ladder match
Things started off hot with a nutty ladder match
Mark out moment, HE'S FINALLY HERE!
Mark out moment, HE’S FINALLY HERE!
"JUDGMENT DAY... IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME"
“JUDGMENT DAY… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME”
Triple H always had badass Wrestlemania entrances
Triple H always had badass WrestleMania entrances
But this one by far took the cake
But this one by far took the cake
Electric atmosphere. You had to be there!
The Icon vs. The Game. Atmosphere was off the charts
HOLY $#*%!
HOLY $#*%!
Time stood still for a moment. DX vs. nWo!
Time stood still for a moment. DX vs. nWo!
The Rock and Ronda electrified
The Rock and Ronda electrified 77,000+ fans
Love the staggering scarecrows. Shame it was still light outside, though
Love the staggering scarecrows. Shame it was still light outside, though
Even a jaded fan has to admit this was pretty cool
Even a jaded fan had to admit this spot was pretty cool
The Undertaker kneelng as dusk fell was eerily awesome
Undertaker kneeling as dusk fell was eerily awesome
The main event had a legit big fight feel
The main event had a legit big fight feel
Seth Rollins ca$hed in his Money in the Bank to steal the Championship
Seth Rollins ca$hed in his Money in the Bank!
Nelson and I headed back to his car under the falling of fireworks
It was a great WrestleMania. And an epic weekend

Nelson and I left the show giddy like we were two kids on Christmas Eve. We rode the high of the night as we walked back to his car, with fireworks falling all around us. BEST.RASSLIN.WEEKEND.EVER.

It was great to meet fans from all over the globe that weekend. Despite being total strangers, everyone was connected through the memories we share of the business. It’s awesome having that shared connection and laugh with strangers as though you’ve known them your whole life. That’s what WrestleMania weekend is all about: fans worldwide coming together for one epic party. Wrestling has a way of bringing out the kid in you, and WrestleMania weekend is as big as it gets. Words don’t do it justice. It’s something every wrestling fan should experience at least once in their life.

And now, here’s a look at my top 10 favorite wrestlers.

10. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase

Virgil, I am not paying you $50 for a card you signed for me back in 1992!
Virgil, I am not paying you $50 for a card you signed for me back in 1992!

With his custom built expensive Million Dollar Championship title belt, Ted DiBiase was one of the very best and most consistent bad guys of late ’80s and early ’90s WWF. The man with the evil laugh never put on a single bad match. You loved to boo him but you also loved watching DiBiase wrestle. After all, few did it better than the Million Dollar Man.

9. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Rest In Peace, Hot Rod
Rest In Peace, Hot Rod

The Hot Rod was one of the best mic men in the business. He was magic on the mic. Although his in-ring work wasn’t particularly great, he always lit up a room with his endless charisma and shenanigans. Completely unpredictable and always entertaining, the Hot Rod will be fondly remembered as one of the all-time legends. One of the few wrestlers in the 1980s to truly cross over into the mainstream, he was the leading man in the 1988 cult favorite, John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE. “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum” goes down in cinema history as one of the best lines ever. Sadly, Piper passed in the late summer of 2015. He is missed, but his legacy lives on forever.

8. Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Seeing him on old school Raw 2014 gave me the chills
Seeing him on old school Raw 2014 gave me chills

There was nothing Jake did that did NOT have a measure of meaning. No movement, no gesture, no move. Everything he did in and out of the ring served a purpose. He was one of the best psychologists that the wrestling business has ever seen. Who could ever forget his slithery python, Damien, or his infamous finishing move, the DDT? Jake blazed a trail and he did it like no one else did. When he returned to Raw for one night in 2014, it was just like Jake: EPIC.

7. “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon

The Razor's Edge = coolest finisher of the '90s
The Razor’s Edge = coolest finisher of the ’90s

“A-yo, chico.” A cock of the head. A flick of the toothpick. And with that, the Bad Guy stole our hearts. The Man Oozin’ with Machismo, Razor burst on to the WWF scene in 1992. He was booed at first, but inevitably, fans all over the world fell in love with the Bad Guy. With his devastating Razor’s Edge finisher, Razor went on to hold the Intercontinental title four times. By far his most memorable moment in the WWF took place at WrestleMania X where Razor and Shawn Michaels stole the show in a groundbreaking Ladder Match for the undisputed, unified IC title. Razor is also widely remembered as the key spark plug that jump-started the infamous nWo faction in WCW that launched the industry altering Monday Night War.

6. Mr. Perfect AKA Curt Hennig

"I am what I say I am, absolutely perfect"
“I am what I say I am — absolutely perfect”

From his perfect entrance theme to his perfect look, Mr. Perfect was a world class athlete and entertainer. Widely regarded as one of the best Intercontinental champions of all time, nobody and I mean NOBODY sold bumps like he did. Plus, who could forget those classic sporting vignettes? Tragically, Curt’s life was cut short on February 10, 2003. But his wrestling legacy lives on.

5. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels

An iconic image etched in WWF history
An iconic image etched in WWF history

Before he became the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels competed in the tag team ranks. But mega superstardom beckoned and the Showstopper answered. One of the greatest performers I’ve ever seen, his legendary dive off the ladder at WrestleMania X remains an iconic image. HBK would go on to rightfully earn the nickname “Mr. WrestleMania.”

4. Bret “The Hitman” Hart

The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be
The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be

Bret Hart came from humble beginnings, starting out in a tag team in the WWF known as the Hart Foundation. After scratching and clawing to the top of that division, Bret broke out and found singles success as he became a prominent holder of the Intercontinental Championship title. But he truly cemented his mark on the business in Saskatoon on October 12, 1992. That’s when Bret Hart defeated the great Ric Flair to earn his first WWF Championship, ushering in a new era. Bret Hart was never the biggest guy or the flashiest guy, but he always put on the best matches. The excellence of execution, indeed.

3. The Ultimate Warrior

As a kid I never knew what he said. It all added to his appeal
There will never be another one quite like him

Intensity personified. The Ultimate Warrior was truly one of a kind. From his war paint to his tassles to his bulging muscles, he looked like a comic book super hero. And for any boy living in the late ’80s, the Ultimate Warrior was truly a comic book hero come to life. Sadly, the Warrior journeyed to parts unknown on April 8, 2014. But his legacy continues to endure, and the spirit of the Ultimate Warrior will run on for generations to come.

2. “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan

Not down with his recent actions, but as a kid I adored him
He was the man back in the ’80s

Growing up in the late ’80s, few superstars captivated your imagination quite like the Hulkster. With one tear of his shirt, or one classic “hulk up” moment in the ring, arenas all over the universe went bonkers. “Eat your vitamins, train hard and say your prayers” became a mantra for boys all over the globe in the late ’80s. Hulk Hogan was sort of this mythical figure in the world of professional wrestling. Wrestling would not be where it is today were it not for his many contributions. He wasn’t a great worker but few had the presence of the Hulkster. There’s no denying he took the industry to a whole ‘notha level, “BROTHER!”

1. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

LONG LIVE MACHO MADNESS
LONG LIVE THE MACHO MADNESS

“OOOH YEAH! DIG IT!” Often imitated but never duplicated, they broke the mold when they made the Macho Man Randy Savage. He was on another planet. When you factor in both charisma and wrestling ability, there might be none finer than the Macho Man. Always flamboyant and intense, Randy Savage carved one hell of a legacy that extended beyond the squared circle. He became the voice and face of Slim Jim. To this day whenever I’m at the checkout counter of a Target or gas station, I can’t help but think of Macho. Sadly, he passed on May 20, 2011. However, the Macho Madness lives on through the memories and moments etched in the annals of WWF history.

And now, to cap things off, here are some of the most memorable wrestling moments that have left an indelible mark on me

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

It was Batman vs. Superman, but done right ;)
It was Batman vs. Superman done right ;)

The date, April the 1st, 1990. The scene, the SkyDome in Toronto. The event, WrestleMania VI. It was the most anticipated main event in wrestling history. The Ultimate Challenge. The aging world champ versus the upcoming superstar in the making. Title for title. It didn’t get any bigger than this.

"The Hulkster has just taken one giant step towards immortality!"
“The Hulkster has just taken one giant step toward immortality!”

The match lived up to the hype. I rewinded my tape and wore it out as a kid. I must have watched this match 50 times. It went back and forth with lots of false finishes that kept you on the edge of your seat. Finally, when the smoke cleared, a new king emerged and the torch was passed. Epic.

RETIREMENT AND REDEMPTION

Who could forget their classic career ending match at Wrestlemania VII?
One of my favorite WrestleMania matches of all time

The Macho Man sabotaged the Ultimate Warrior, costing him his WWF Championship at the 1991 Royal Rumble. This led to a feud for the ages that culminated in a showdown at WrestleMania VII. Not only that but it was a career ending match, raising the stakes even higher.

Speaking of high stakes, Bobby the Brain Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon had a great exchange during this match:

Heenan: Everything is on the line. Maybe the humanoids don’t understand it. EVERYTHING IS ON THE LINE. Everything they’ve worked for their whole career… the prestige, the wealth, the fortune, the fame. It’s all over here for one of them!

Monsoon: For the guy who loses, when he wakes up tomorrow morning, WHAT’S HE GONNA DO?!

Heenan: HE’S GONNA BE JUST ANOTHER HAM AND EGGER!!

Classic.

Both are now shaking the ropes and dropping elbows in Heaven
I nearly broke my tape rewinding this!

The 20 minute match featured multiple false finishes. Back in 1991 this was unheard of. Especially when the Ultimate Warrior kicked out of FIVE Flying Elbow Drops. Never before had I seen such drama in a match. The Warrior would eventually score the pinfall. However, as great as this match was, what happened after made it one for the history books. After the Warrior left the ring, Macho Man’s manager, Sensational Sherri, turned on Savage with a flurry of vicious kicks. The camera then panned to Elizabeth, Macho Man’s long time partner on and off camera. Her face a teary mess. The crowd started to rise. Elizabeth, no longer able to take it, then jumped the guard rail. She ran to the ring and flung Sherri out to the floor.

One of wrestling's most emotional, redemptive moments
Certain moments like this transcend wrestling itself

A groggy Randy Savage climbed to his feet. He spotted Elizabeth. It was as if he just seen a ghost. The crowd cheered louder as Elizabeth, tears streaking down her face, stood there waiting for Savage to respond. Savage finally embraced her as the humanoids erupted. Gorilla Monsoon’s epic commentary “WHAT A WOMAN, AND WHAT A MAN!” punctuated the moment, as the camera zoomed in to show grown adults crying in the audience. It was one of wrestling’s most redemptive moments: his career “ended” but the rest of his life with his love was just beginning. Storytelling at its best.

THE ULTIMATE RETURN

The Hoosier Dome, 1992. Wrestlemania VIII
“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”

By 1992, Hulkamania was starting to wane. The ’80s were long over by now, and the Hulkster was looking more and more obsolete as the years and miles added up. In fact, if you look closely you can see signs in the audience that were pro-Sid (who was supposedly the villain going into the match). Vince McMahon pushed this main event as Hulk Hogan’s “final stand.” The match was what it was. But it was the aftermath that makes it one of my favorite wrestling memories. After the match ended in a weird anticlimactic DQ, Papa Shango hit the ring. This was highly bizarre as Papa Shango wasn’t even in the Hogan-Sid program at any point prior, but clearly the two bad guys were looking to finish off Hulkamania.

Bless Godfather's heart, but story goes he missed his run-in cue, resulting in the botched finish
“Oh crap, I missed my cue!”

God bless the Godfather but the story goes he missed his run-in cue. This resulted in an awkward botched DQ finish. As Psycho Sid went to grab a steel chair to end Hulkamania, a familiar entrance theme roared throughout the arena.

I never marked out so hard in my life before
The Hoosier Dome exploded. Pandemonium personified!

It took a few seconds for the fans to register it, as the Warrior had been out of the WWF for some time. There was no internet back then and no rumors of the Warrior coming back at all. It was the last thing on anybody’s mind. But once he came running down the aisle at 200 miles per hour, the fans lost it as did I. It was nuts.

This shot gives me chills. Wrestling ain't what it used to be
Gives me chills. Wrestling ain’t what it used to be

The hair was shorter. The body was less muscular. But yes indeed, it was the Ultimate Warrior. Just two short years prior, Warrior and Hogan headlined WrestleMania in one of the biggest matches of all time. Two years later, ironically, Warrior returned to save the Hulkster. And the fans went absolutely bonkers.

Two of the very best in the ring for the last time together (Halloween Havoc 1998 never happened)
Two childhood icons. It didn’t get any bigger

THE KICK HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

The best bad guy turn of all time
The best heel (bad guy) turn of all time

The Rockers was one of the most popular tag teams in the late ’80s and early ’90s. But as time went on it was evident the breakout star of the team was Shawn Michaels. Sometimes, you just gotta kick dead weight to the curb. Literally.

It was the playground chatter for at least a week!
It was the playground chatter for at least a week!

THE MONDAY NIGHT WAR

The last great golden age of professional wrestling
The last great golden age of professional wrestling

As hot as wrestling and the WWF became in the late ’80s, rising to prominence seemingly overnight, the industry hit one of its lowest points in the mid ’90s. By then wrestling companies were struggling with a stale product that relied on old gimmicks past its heyday. But as wrestling fans know, the late ’90s saw yet another boom. With WCW going live every Monday night opposite WWF’s Monday Night Raw, viewers suddenly had a choice. This began the Monday Night War. But it wasn’t until the summer of 1996 that things really heated up. That’s when the New World Order faction was born and all-time good guy Hulk Hogan went DARK.

Wrestling then exploded into mainstream popularity with stand out stars such as Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, D-Generation X, Goldberg and the nWo. Monday nights became a constant fun-filled two hours of switching back and forth. Then all day Tuesday you and your friends talked about it at lunch and speculated about what might happen next Monday night. It was a great time!

The war officially ended 15 years ago yesterday. On March 26, 2001, the WWF bought out WCW. And ever since then, wrestling has not been the same.

GETTING TO THE “HART” OF THE MATTER

Screwed. 12 years later, sanctified
Screwed. 12 years later, sanctified

Wrestling is at its best when real life elements seep in. Look no further than the whole Bret Hart Shawn Michaels Vince McMahon Montreal Screwjob incident. Bret was out of the WWF family for over 12 long years. Finally, on the first episode of Monday Night Raw in 2010, Bret came home. He and Shawn hashed it out in front of a national audience on live TV. What a way to kick off the new decade! It felt like watching two uncles, once seemingly inseparable, burying the hatchet at a family reunion. The moment gave me goosebumps. It was good to see Bret move on once and for all.

RESURRECTION OF JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS AND SCOTT HALL

Welcome home, Jake
Home sweet home

For a long time if you had asked any wrestling fan which former star was most likely to die next, number one on the list would be Jake Roberts. And second, Scott Hall. Both men had their addictions, and their fall from grace was ugly. Former WCW World Heavyweight Champion turned yoga fitness guru, Diamond Dallas Page, reached out to Jake in 2012. Using DDPYoga and taking responsibility for his own actions, Jake managed to turn his life around. He lost weight but he shed more than just that. He DDT’ed his demons. He got his life right and in 2014 was inducted into the Hall of Fame. It was crazy seeing him up there. Like seeing a ghost or a distant wayward uncle. His story of resurrection and redemption still resonates deeply with me to this day. In his own words, “I’m not where I wanna be, but I sure am better than where I was before.” I salute thee, Mr. Roberts. Keep it up!

"Bad times don't last. But bad guys DO"
“Bad times don’t last. BUT BAD GUYS DO!

On that same fateful night, Scott Hall went in the Hall as well. Much like Jake, it was surreal to witness it all. Scott struggled with his drinking demons for years. But DDP took him in and Scott Hall put in the work. He’s an example of how anyone can overcome their hang ups, as long as they’re willing to put the work in.

Amazing what eating right and DDPYoga did for Jake!
Amazing what eating right and DDPYoga did for Jake!
Check out DDPYoga for yourself or a loved one who may need it
DDPYoga is saving lives and sweeping the nation

THE ULTIMATE COMEBACK… AND THE ULTIMATE FAREWELL

Finally, the Warrior is immortalized
Finally, the Warrior is immortalized

Not only did Jake and Scott go in, but later that same night the Ultimate Warrior took his rightful place in the Hall of Fame as well. It was the first time he appeared on WWE TV in any capacity in almost 20 years. He delivered one epic speech. For me it was hands down the greatest feel good night in the history of wrestling. April 5, 2014 was a mark out evening for the ages.

ONE LAST MEMORY
“Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat…”

On Monday night, April 7, 2014, the Ultimate Warrior made his first appearance on RAW in 17+ years. Sadly, it would also be his last. He delivered the speech of a lifetime in the sort of way that only the Ultimate Warrior could. His life would sadly end the following day. But in his soliloquy, he talked about one day every man’s heart beats its final beat and his lungs breathe their final breath. It was a little eerie. Warrior’s passing sent shock waves through the wrestling community. It seemed surreal. Right before he died, he at least made peace with Vince McMahon, Hulk Hogan and several others. He went out in a blaze of glory.

Vince and Warrior embrace each other for the very last time
Life’s too short to hold grudges. Forgiveness heals
The Ultimate Warrior's final remarks
His haunting final words the night before he passed

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Thanks for the memories, WWF
“The immovable object meets the irresistible force”

Professional wrestling will always hold a soft spot in my heart. I grew up on it. I went through Hulkamania. And the Madness. I witnessed the rise of the industry in the late ’80s. I followed it through the mid ’90s when it hit rock bottom. I watched as it EXPLODED in the late ’90s Attitude Era. And to this day I keep up with the product. Every once in a while they’ll do something to make me feel like a little 10 year old kid again. Those magical moments that make you jump out of your chair with mouth agape and goosebumps popping all over your arms. In some ways I feel like these larger than life athletes were once distant uncles of mine growing up. I could always count on them each weekend (and later Mondays) to entertain me for an hour or two. Wrestling has always given me great memories, and regardless of where the business heads going forward, I will always be a fan for life.