Jurassic Park (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Ocean | November 1993 | 16 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Ocean | November 1993 | 16 MEGS

Who didn’t love dinosaurs as a kid? Jurassic Park hit theaters in June of 1993 to critical and commercial success. Five short months later, Ocean released a movie video game adaptation on the SNES — although technically, it’s more based off the book than the movie. Jurassic Park is an overhead action adventure with a first person mode. Wait, Zelda meets Wolfenstein meets dinosaurs? It sounds like a wet dream. Dream being the operative word. Unfortunately, Ocean’s effort fell a bit flat. I guess uh, Ocean finds a way to mess it up didn’t they, Malcolm?

WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH

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I was obsessed with dinosaurs growing up. In first grade, my class took a field trip to a museum that featured amazing dinosaur animatronics. I got to see my favorite, the T-Rex, in all its glory. It towered over me and I was absolutely terrified. The whole exhibit was breathtaking, recreating the wonder and terrors that roamed the earth more than 65 million years ago. Several years following this unforgettable field trip, Jurassic Park hit movie theaters nationwide in the summer of 1993. But as much as I loved dinosaurs, I somehow missed the theatrical run of Jurassic Park. That definitely ranks up there on my list of “Small Childhood Regrets.” My brother and I didn’t watch a lot of movies in the theater growing up. I guess we were too busy renting and playing the latest video games instead. Our first movie we caught in the theaters? Super Mario Brothers. Oh, lucky us indeed.

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Made on a budget of 63 million dollars, it became the highest grossing film of the time, toppling E.T. on its way to a nutty 914 million. The movie was an adaptation of the Michael Crichton novel. The plot is simple: on an island off the coast of Costa Rica, a preserve has been built to host cloned dinosaurs. Jurassic Park was to be the theme park attraction of the ages. But of course, as Ian Malcolm prophetically stated in the film: LIFE FINDS A WAY. And sure enough, life does. And then massive dinosaur shit hits the fan. It was a simple concept that worked on so many levels thanks in no small part to its groundbreaking usage of computer generated images. The CGI was stellar for its time, and even to this day many feel it holds up particularly well. It’s an epic film with many memorable breathtaking scenes. F’rinstance, remember when Dr. Grant and the kids (Lex and Tim) rested on a tall tree limb overlooking an ominous night sky, complete with a Brachiosaurus enjoying a midnight snack? Scenes like this were buried in our minds and hearts even nearly 25 years later!

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My favorite scene? The infamous one with the raptors stalking the kids in the kitchen. It’s one of the most (in)tense movie scenes I’ve ever seen. Just the sheer terror of being trapped in a kitchen with two wild ferocious raptors is enough to make my heart skip a couple beats. That moment where the one raptor is shown standing as upright as she can, snorting at the air like some kind of savage war cry, gives me the heebie-jeebies! And perfectly positioned in that same shot was poor little Tim, his face a frozen rictus of horror. The raptors in Jurassic Park were genuinely scary. Even today that scene still freaks the hell out of me. What a movie! :)

As for the game, it fell under the file of “I wanted to play this 20+ years ago but never did.” Thanks to Jurassic World, which came out in theaters summer of 2015, I decided it was finally time to quell a 20+ year childhood curiosity. I wish I could say the game is even half as awesome as the film, but it was largely a bittersweet experience…

Ocean spent six figures to acquire the licensing rights
Ocean spent six figures to acquire the licensing rights
It's compatible with the SNES mouse, oddly enough
It’s compatible with the SNES mouse, oddly enough

DINO ROLL CALL

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The Triceratops spent the film sick as hell but it’s perfectly healthy here. It only appears in a few sections, rumbling through the landscape each time it does appear. You can’t kill or sedate it, so get the hell out of its way.

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Ah, Velociraptors. Arguably the star of Jurassic Park, raptors hunt in packs and strike with blinding speed. If not dealt with immediately they’ll slash you to pieces in no time flat. I recommend using either the bola or rocket launcher. The shotgun takes 2-3 shots to put them down, which leaves you vulnerable to counterattack. Raptors love to hide in the thick dense trees, revealing themselves only after you’ve crossed over into their territory. They may seem tough at first but they’re really not too bad once you know where the ammo and raptors are situated.

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Ever a perennial favorite, the classic T-Rex is terror on two legs personified. Even though he only appears twice in the game and always at the same locations, his presence is still strongly felt. The music changes to this bone-chilling rhythmic jungle beat whenever you’re near a T-Rex zone. You’ll feel a jolt of adrenaline kick in when the king comes barreling out of the left side of your TV screen. Escaping the jaws of death at the very last possible moment is always a major rush!

WEAPONS

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KEY TIP 1: The cattle prod is most effective against the little Compys. Remember that…

KEY TIP 2: You can carry two weapons at a time. I highly recommend carrying the rocket launcher and bola

KEY TIP 3: Even when carrying two weapons, you can always press select to switch back to the cattle prod. Don’t forget to do that when running across a group of little angry Compys. Trust me…

MORE TIPS

You'll get eaten alive without a guide...
You’ll get eaten alive without a guide…

Jurassic Park is a non-linear open world action adventure that can be viewed as sort of a sandbox survival horror game. Trust me, it isn’t nearly as awesome as that may sound, but it’s certainly playable. You won’t find set stages or levels here. The game is split into two modes: an overhead mode and a (primitive) first person mode whenever you enter a building. Unfortunately, these scenarios are rather plodding, not to mention clunky and somewhat confusing. In general, the game can be extremely confusing if you go into it blind so I recommend using a guide if you possibly can. To help you out, here’s a general overview.

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There's something creepy about these critters
There’s something creepy about these critters

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You can get lost without a good memory or a map
You can get lost without a good memory or a map

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Who doesn't remember the dramatic kitchen scene?
Who doesn’t remember the dramatic kitchen scene?

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Could have used your help here, Mr. Hammond
Could have used your help here, Mr. Hammond

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Sorry, there are no vehicles here. Backtrack by foot :(
Sorry, there are no vehicles here. Backtrack by foot :(
Lots of this [Sounds like my marriage -Ed.]
Expect lots of this [Sounds like my marriage -Ed.]
I recommend using a guide. You might go nuts if not
I recommend using a guide. You might go nuts if not

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Text boxes are too damn big. Speaking of which...
Text boxes are too damn big. Speaking of which…

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At least you can get rid of these boxes with L or R
At least you can get rid of these boxes with L or R
Of course not. You're way too smart for that T-Rex...
Of course not…
Oops. I spoke too soon
Oops. I spoke too soon
Learn from the movie: NEVER listen to Nedry
Learn from the movie: NEVER listen to Nedry
See? STAND STILL MY ASS. Raptors don't care
See? STAND STILL MY ASS. Raptors don’t care
WHAT A DAMN PRICK [I like his sense of humor -Ed.]
WHAT A DAMN PRICK [I like his sense of humor -Ed.]

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

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Jurassic Park was well received by the critics of the time. EGM gave it scores of 6, 7, 8 and 8. GameFan lauded it with ratings of 89, 92, 95 and 95%. Super Play rated it 89% and called it the 84th best SNES game on their Top 100 list (issue #42, April 1996). However, reception among retro gamers is almost nearly the complete opposite. Most seem to find Jurassic Park clunky and not so good. Reasons for this mainly include the cumbersome first person sections as well as the ridiculous amount of backtracking, thanks to all the scattered ID cards required to grant you access. I find critical reception of this game to be quite fascinating; there weren’t too many games that were scored highly back in the day that people now more often than not DO NOT like. (ActRaiser 2 is another example). Jurassic Park also marks the first SNES game in which I completely disagree with the “Big 3.” Usually, I find one of EGM, GameFan or Super Play “gets it right,” so to speak. But in this case, they all endorsed the game by and large, and I gotta say that I disagree.

Of the big 3, this opinion most closely mirrors mine
Of the big 3, this opinion most closely mirrors mine

CLOSING THOUGHTS

What a fantastic film. The game? Yeah, not so much
What a fantastic film. The game? Yeah, not so much

Jurassic Park is one of the most epic, memorable and badass summer blockbuster hits of all time. The idea of a game that mixes elements from Zelda and Wolfenstein is an enticing combination indeed, especially when you add dinosaurs to that equation. But unfortunately, it’s really not Zelda meets Wolfenstein. What you’re left with then is an uneven experience. The overhead sections are above average while the indoor first person parts are below par. But if you play Jurassic Park using a guide, you just might get a bit of enjoyment out of it. The visuals are decent enough. The sounds and music are well done; raptor roars and the like are convincing and even a bit frightening. The music switches from one zone to the next with each theme suitably befitting to that part of the island. It’s just too bad then that the game as a whole fails to capture the awe, wonder and magic of the blockbuster 1993 film.

Dont be fooled, its not an action-packed game
Don’t be fooled by this, it’s not an action-packed game

Speaking of negatives, Jurassic Park would have hugely benefited from having a save feature. It’s just lengthy enough that finishing it in one sitting isn’t ideal. Not to mention, the insane amount of backtracking and finding ID cards put a real damper on a game lacking a save system (hell, even a password system would have sufficed). Although, this issue is slightly mitigated to a small degree if you play with a guide. And that’s really the only way I recommend playing this game. Sadly, pictures like the one you see above may suggest lots of action but the real game lacks these white-knuckle situations. Dinosaurs are sadly few and far between, and remain stranded to their fixed positions. They don’t chase or stalk you like they did in the movie. They only jump out at you if you happen to pass by and they don’t give chase if you make a run for it. Instead, they just saunter back to their hiding spots like college kids working at the local Halloween haunted house. It takes away considerably from the intensity of the game. Jurassic Park actually isn’t hard — the game provides plenty of ammo for survival. The real challenge comes in the form of endurance. Can you put up with all the slow clunky first person levels, gathering all the ID cards and powering through in one long sitting? If so, you just might enjoy Jurassic Park. But for the rest of us, it ends up being more frustrating than it is fun.

Graphics: 7
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 5
Longevity: 4

Overall: 5.0

... not to endorse this video game
… not to endorse this game. Jurassic Park 2 is better
"Say that one more time; I'll find a way to hurt you"
“Say that one more time and I’ll find a way to hurt you!”
Cmon Ian Malcolm. This game isn't THAT terrible...
C’mon, Ian Malcolm. This game isn’t THAT terrible…
That Barbasol can is in honor of one, Dennis Nedry
That Barbasol can is in honor of one, Dennis Nedry
Rest In Power, Dennis Nedry
Rest In Power, Dennis Nedry

On a hot lazy summer afternoon back in 2015, I spent 4½ hours beating Jurassic Park in one long sitting. Probably never doing that again! While I did find some odd sense of enjoyment out of it, it really isn’t a “good” game by any stretch of the imagination. But is it playable and enjoyable? It can be BUT I highly recommend using a guide.

But why not just rewatch the film? :P

Or listen to the main theme?
Instant goosebumps!

Justice League (SNES)

Pub: SunSoft | Dev: Blizzard | June 1995 | 20 MEGS
Pub: Sunsoft | Dev: Blizzard | June 1995 | 20 MEGS

Superman. Batman. Wonder Woman. The Flash. These are some of the most well known and beloved super heroes of all time. Imagine if someone were to take them and throw them into a fighting game. That’s exactly what Blizzard and co-developer Sunsoft did in the summer of 1995. Sounds like a winning formula, right? Well… not so fast there, Flash. Justice League: Task Force is certainly a moderately flawed fighting game, but it’s not terribly offensive. It’s just kind of… there. For diehard SNES owners and fighting game/DC Comics fans only.

So many choices! Nice to see Flash get near top billing
Nice to see Flash get near top billing

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITE

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Last night I caught the premier of the brand new Justice League movie. I had a good time but found the film to be rather uneven. The tone shifted at times from scene to scene. I felt slightly underwhelmed by the time it was over but it definitely sets the stage for better to come.

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Being in a Justice League mood, I decided there was no better time than now to finally play a childhood curiosity that has stood for over 22 years — Justice League: Task Force. I remember seeing it in magazines around the time I was graduating from elementary school. By June of 1995, I had my mind on other things as life grew increasingly more complex. I still loved the SNES but things were rapidly changing. Although I longed to play Justice League, I never did.

March 5, 2006. DAMN
March 5, 2006. DAMN

After getting back into the SNES on January 17, 2006, I bought Justice League for $4.75 not two months later. But it wasn’t until earlier this week that I finally played it for the first time. It’s always neat to cross a childhood curiosity off your list once and for all, especially when it’s for something you’ve been wondering about for over 20 years. Seeing that eBay invoice by the way brought back some memories. I didn’t expect to see it when I cracked open my copy of Justice League. In fact, it completely took me by surprise. I forgot all about the invoice. I’m a big fan of archiving so seeing this simple piece of paper definitely made my day. We’re off to a good start with Justice League but it’s not how one starts, it’s how one ends.

Sorry Green Arrow fans. Cyborg is in the film instead
Sorry Green Arrow fans. Cyborg is in the film instead

EVERYBODY’S KUNG FU FIGHTING

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Cashing in on the fighting game boom of the mid ’90s, Justice League: Task Force has your typical modes. The Story mode allows you to only pick from the 6 super heroes while the Battle mode allows you to use the super heroes in addition to 3 super villains. The difficulty is adjustable from 1-5 with the default level being pretty tough. Like many clones of the era, Justice League copies the classic 6 button formula of Street Fighter II.

SUPERMAN

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Clark Kent (6’3″, 225 lbs) is a reporter for The Daily Planet, a major metropolitan newspaper. In reality, he is a super being from the planet Krypton. As Superman, he is dedicated to upholding “Truth, Justice and the American Way!” His fights are held appropriately enough on the rooftop of The Daily Plant, overlooking the beautiful city of Metropolis.

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Superman’s powers are on full display here as he exhibits his heat vision, freeze breath and when all else fails, his burning fist is put to good use!

BATMAN

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Bruce Wayne (6’2″, 210 lbs) is a master of martial arts, an impeccable detective and an inventor of specialized weaponry. He battles atop a roof overlooking Gotham City at night. This backdrop nicely captures the grit and grim of Gotham City.

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Batman’s classic Batarang serves as a natural choice for his fireball. He also has a variety of kick-based attacks including a Smoke Bomb Drop Kick reminiscent of M. Bison. The Dark Knight can also evade projectiles.

WONDER WOMAN

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Princess Diana (5’11”, 135 lbs) is an Amazon warrior princess and an Amazonian ambassador to “Man’s World.” Wonder Woman preaches the power of peace and other Olympian virtues, never fighting without provocation. Her home and a lovely fountain can be seen in the background.

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Wonder Woman puts her Lasso of Truth to good use in Scorpion-like fashion. She can hover for a bit before performing a diving kick. She can also reflect projectiles with her wrist guards and hit you with a nasty Springing Flip Kick.

THE FLASH

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Wally West (6’0″, 175 lbs) gained super speed as a teenager in a freak accident while visiting his idol, the original Flash. He took over as The Flash when his idol died. He uses his power to run circles around some of the world’s most notorious criminals. His stage features flashes of lightning. Not only that but a piece of paper can be seen floating throughout. Both nice touches.

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Fighting games from the mid ’90s always had one fighter with a super fast multi-hit strike. No one was born for that more than The Flash. His Tornado Blast takes a page right out of Joe Higashi’s playbook. And of course, you can’t be The Flash without some sort of dashing attack. Even better, he finishes off his dashing strike with a Dragon Punch.

AQUAMAN

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Arthur Curry (6’1″, 325 lbs) was born in the undersea world of Atlantis. Aquaman was adopted by a lighthouse keeper and later became a founding member of the Justice League. His life’s work is keeping the oceans free of villains. Don’t spend too much time admiring the sea life in his stage — he’s tough enough without distractions!

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Channeling Sub-Zero of Mortal Kombat fame, Aquaman delivers a mean Slide Kick. He also fires a deadly Water Blast and can knock you out cold with his Leaping Slam Punch. The Spinning Uppercut Punch protects him from projectiles.

GREEN ARROW

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Oliver Queen (5’11”, 178 lbs) began life as a pampered millionaire, but eventually chose a career in crime fighting, becoming Green Arrow. Green Arrow lives in Seattle, Washington, where he defends the weak and oppressed. Seattle’s Space Needle can be seen in his forest background.

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Green Arrow’s special moves all revolve around his arrow expertise. Flaming arrows, icy arrows and from all angles. He’s a bit limited and niche, but hey, you got to respect a super hero that stays in his lane.

CHEETAH

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Barbara Ann Minerva (5’9″, 120 lbs) was once an important though ruthless archaeologist and treasure hunter. On an African expedition, she drank a potion that transformed her into the Cheetah. In order to maintain her power, she must hunt down victims. She and Wonder Woman are bitter rivals. Cheetah’s stage reflects her African exploits. She impales her victims with razor sharp claws.

DESPERO

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Despero the Conqueror (8’5″, 450 lbs) is the last of a race of telepaths. He was once the iron-handed ruler of the planet Kalanor, a planet all but destroyed by nuclear wars. He is a savage opponent and a constant threat to the Justice League. His Eye Blast is the biggest fireball in the game. His Diving Kick and Leaping Head Fin Thrust shows off his deceptive speed. Stars can be seen flying by in the background of his spacecraft but if not careful, you’ll be seeing stars personally.

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Darkseid (7’6″, 515 lbs) betrayed his uncle, banished his own wife and son and murdered his mother in order to rule his home planet of Apokolips! A complex and cunning villain, Darkseid has been known to spare vanquished foes who have fought well. But don’t count on it! And watch out for his Sliding Backhand Punch, Laser Beams, Leaping Knee Kick and Jumping Head Stomp. I don’t care if you’re Superman, that will give anyone a serious headache!

GENESIS VERSION

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Justice League: Task Force was also released on the Sega Genesis. I haven’t played it but it’s interesting to note the different aesthetics between the two. The Genesis one takes on a more comic book-like appearance. The two games have different backgrounds and even special moves. An interesting oddity if nothing else. EGM gave the Genesis version ratings of 4, 5.5, 7 and 7.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Ouch. Super Play gave it the proverbial kiss of death
Ouch. Super Play gave it the proverbial kiss of death

Justice League: Task Force came out during an odd time. Back in June of 1995, the 16-bit era was starting to wind down as well as the fighting game boom. The game also seemed to come out of nowhere, with no Justice League connection elsewhere recently released to the public. Sure, these super heroes and villains have a certain level of timelessness to them, but the release date and more importantly average gameplay did it zero favors. Thus, Justice League came and went with little fanfare. These iconic characters definitely deserved better. Super Play slammed it, giving it a paltry score of 30% (OUCH).

C'mon SPlay, it's not that bad
C’mon SPlay, it’s not THAT bad…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Such wasted potential. Sigh
Such wasted potential. Sigh

Justice League: Task Force feels a lot like a day late and a dollar short. Or in this case, a few years late and a fun fighting engine amiss. It would have fared better if it were released in mid 1992 as opposed to the summer of 1995. By then, SNES owners had already experienced the likes of the Street Fighter II trilogy, Mortal Kombat II, TMNT: Tournament Fighters and World Heroes 2. Hell, even games like Fighter’s History and World Heroes, both rather underrated arcade to SNES ports, blow Justice League out of the water so bad that not even Aquaman can save it.

Not my superhero game
Not my superhero game

There’s a reason why you never see Justice League on anyone’s Super Nintendo Hidden Gems list. It’s a strictly middle of the road fighting game. The visuals are decent looking in spots but the animation leaves a lot to be desired. Some of the music tracks are alright but others are mute-inducing. The sound effects are terrible and there are no voiceovers whatsoever. It’s a small thing but I love it when I hear an announcer proclaiming, “ROUND ONE… FIGHT!” or when my characters talk during their special moves. These absences only further accentuate the cheapness of the product we received… a sort of half-baked attempt to cash in on both the fighting game boom and the general popularity of iconic comic book characters. While it’s certainly not unplayable by any means, you would have to be a pretty diehard fan to go out of your way to play this when there are so many better choices available. Justice League, Unite? More like Justice League, Retreat.

Graphics: 5.5
Sound: 5
Gameplay: 5.5
Longevity: 5

Overall: 5.5

Facepalm, indeed
Facepalm, indeed

DYK: Dan MacArthur worked on the SNES versions of World Heroes and Justice League. He did a fantastic job with the World Heroes port. Justice League, not so much.

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ActRaiser 2 (SNES)

Pub: Enix | Dev: Quintet | November 1993 | 12 MEGS
Pub: Enix | Dev: Quintet | November 1993 | 12 MEGS

A successful sequel builds upon the original. Or to put it bluntly, it should be bigger and better. Sadly, that was not the case for ActRaiser 2. Released two years following its predecessor, ActRaiser 2 is a bit infamous for having ruffled a few feathers. The original ActRaiser is such a beloved SNES classic that a sequel would have big shoes to fill. Quintet certainly tried, but the formula didn’t quite hit the right marks. But that’s not to suggest that this follow-up is a complete dud. It’s not without some merit, but it’s definitely a far cry from the first game. The box cover boasts the claim “100% pure action and excitement!” Well, they weren’t lying about the 100% action part. Say goodbye to the simulation aspect from the original. ActRaiser 2 is strictly an action title. And a rather uneven one at that.

GETTING THE “HANG” OF IT

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Your hero has wings but he can’t fly. He can, however, glide and dive. It sounds good on paper but the actual execution is a bit iffy to say the very least.

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Slashing enemies above you feels very satisfying. As does a well-timed block. It’s just too bad your hero moves a bit slowly and somewhat stiff.

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Magic returns. They are as follows:

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Using the right one at the right time can make all the difference.

THE QUEST BEGINS

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ActRaiser 2 opens up promisingly enough. You get a brief intro that shows our hero battling Tanzra. Right away the graphics stand out as incredibly detailed. You get the best of Tanzra here but unfortunately for you, Tanzra has beckoned the most vile and vicious demons to form a legion against you. Kind of like the Secret Society of Super Villains

INDUSTEN

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Appreciate the Mode 7 callback to the first ActRaiser. Scale up this tree while dealing with arrow-slinging goblins.

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Industen is broke up into two action sections. The first boss is a terrible plant monster that would make Little Shop of Horrors and Joe & Mac proud. The second boss is a scythe chucking scumbag whose cloudy compadre will try to blow you [whoa… -Ed.] off the screen.

MODERO

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Modero is up next. Or rather, it could be. One of the nice things about this game, contrary to popular belief that it’s a total dud, is that you’re given a certain level of freedom. You can tackle the stages in any order, which is nice. Modero is a hellish graveyard. The last boss of this stage is particularly memorable. The SNES flexes its Mode 7 muscles.

DEMON’S CAVE

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Demon’s Cave, not to be confused with Demon’s Crest (although admittedly Demon’s Crest does have a bit of an ActRaiser 2 vibe in terms of aesthetics), is full of demonic mutant spiders and nightmarish critters. And no, that ain’t a speaker system there. It’s a fill-up for your health or magic bar. The end boss would make Stan Winston proud.

BENEFIC

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There’s a rather tricky jump right away that can be a bit infuriating. Not landing the clearing correctly leads you to fall below where enemies annoyingly respawn and sap you of precious health. The control takes a while to master and even then, it feels a bit shoddy and unreliable.

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Battle a horrendous giant snake and snail to purify the country of Benefic. Saving your magic until the boss is highly recommended.

DEATH FIELD

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Death Field is appropriately named. Some of the fiery sections can hurt you. The mid-boss is reminiscent of the classic first boss from the original.

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Galloping riders aim to ruin your day. If you manage to survive the onslaught, a mad knight awaits you at level’s end.

ALMETHA

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Another gorgeous burning stage, Almetha is one of the easier levels in the game.

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Massive monsters that aren’t bosses or even mid-bosses have always been a pet favorite of mine. That’s why I love this horned blue cyclops creature so much. The boss fight is an intense one. Keep moving and don’t fall to an early grave.

PALACE

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What’s up with all these great names like Modero and Benefic and then we have Palace? Oh well. Palace is your typical ice-themed world. Make good use of the many platforms to help you conquer the boss.

GRATIS

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Gratis opens up with a sign that reads, “WELCOME MASTER to your DOOM!!” It’s a nice touch and reminds me of Altered Beast. More deformed mutant spiders await. This level is very annoying as ghosts pop out of nowhere while you’re trying to make this big leap. This leads to cheap hits and starting all over again. The stiff control makes this level way harder than it should be.

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Provided you can safely navigate the annoying platforming, your reward is facing off with these two bastards.

STORMROOK

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Stormrook is perhaps the best looking level in the entire game.

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Survive the night and slay this fire-spewing monstrosity. Easier said than done…

PALACE REVISITED

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Deception Demon rules this land and has been hiding in the king’s mind. Once you’re inside the king’s mind, find the blue door to fight the ghost mid-boss.

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Ominous red door leads to a showdown with the Deception Demon boss.

TORTOISE ISLAND

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Enter the sunken remains of a ghost town to kill this octopus-looking monstrosity.

ALTHERIA

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Altheria is somewhat similar to Tortoise Island. The boss here has a definite Ghostbusters vibe which I absolutely dig.

TOWER OF SOULS

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You’ll square off with all the mid-bosses before facing the clock boss. Some folks may claim that boss gauntlets are outdated but to me they’re timeless[Har har -Ed.]

DEATH HEIM

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Death (Heim) awaits those skilled (and patient) enough to make it this far.

WHAT’S THE PASSWORD?

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ActRaiser 2 uses a password system. Some easter eggs include a sketch of the team. Why not try out typing in “long long ago.” sometime and see what happens…

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

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ActRaiser 2 is one of those games that most of the critics heralded at the time but is now (overly) criticized. It’s one of the more polarizing SNES titles to this day. Most seem to dislike it but there’s a small camp that feel it’s become underrated and underappreciated over the years.

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It’s interesting to look back on old gaming review scores. ActRaiser 2 was heavily praised back in November of 1993. The picture above is from an issue of Super NES Buyer’s Guide — a sister publication of EGM. The red color indicates graphics and ActRaiser 2 was one of the rare games that got a full red to the max rating. Yellow indicates gameplay which you would think is most important to a game’s overall rating. Yet oddly enough, the yellow is about halfway for the first two reviewers yet they still gave the game a robust 87 and 88%. Er, OK. EGM gave it scores of 8, 9, 9 and 9. GameFan scored it 88, 94, 94 and 95%. Leave it to good old Super Play, however, to show some levity and pump the brakes on the sequel hype. They rated it 69%.

Good old Super Play -- I agree with you lads
Good old Super Play. I mostly agree with you fine lads

CLOSING THOUGHTS

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I find ActRaiser 2 to be a very uneven game. There are parts I like about it, but a lot of other parts that went awry. I do miss the simulation part of the game but I understand the desire to change it up a bit. However, the execution faltered somewhat and thus hampers the game a good bit from reaching its full potential. Yes, this game is hard. Hard as a brick. And I don’t mind a hard game as long as it isn’t due to unfair enemy placement and/or stiff control. Sadly, both are culprits here. While I did enjoy myself playing through certain bits of ActRaiser 2, the unfair difficulty and stiff control always came back to stop my momentum from truly enjoying the game. It’s a shame too, as this could have been a very solid sequel if they had properly addressed those two significant issues.

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When it comes to graphics and sound, ActRaiser 2 delivers. The visuals are sublime — it’s arguably one of the best looking SNES games of 1993. The amazing orchestral score, once again helmed by musical maestro Yuzo Koshiro, hits the mark. It’s just too bad that the most important aspect, the gameplay, is below par. Especially when compared to the previous game which came out two years prior, ActRaiser 2 just feels like a disappointing drop-off. I wanted to like it so badly and at times I actually do, but the overall effect sadly misses the mark. I don’t think it’s as bad as some others have claimed it to be, but they have a right to their opinion. Without doubt, had this game been called The Knight Avenger or anything other than ActRaiser 2 then maybe it would have fared better with diehard fans of the first game. Alas, when you tack a “2” at the end of a name as big as ActRaiser, certain expectations come along with it. I, however, don’t think it’s all bad. Disappointing? Yes. Completely worthless? No. Regardless of how one feels about ActRaiser 2, I think there’s one thing we can all agree on: at least we’ll always have the first game to fall back on.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 6
Longevity: 6

Overall: 6.0

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ActRaiser (SNES)

Pub: Enix | Dev: Quintet | November 1991 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Enix | Dev: Quintet | November 1991 | 8 MEGS

Every new system relies heavily on its early catalog to help determine how successful its infancy period is. And with titles like Super Mario World, F-Zero, Gradius III, Super Castlevania IV and Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts, the SNES was legitimized. Of course, one can’t talk about the earliest Super Nintendo games without extolling the virtues of one, ActRaiser. Released in North America a whopping 26 years ago, ActRaiser is one of the most beloved early SNES classics of all time. Hell, remove ‘early’ — it’s one of the most memorable SNES hits, period. What makes ActRaiser so great? Well, for starters, developer Quintet was able to accomplish a rather rare feat. Quintet managed to masterfully straddle two genres, blending into an immersive and seamless action adventure for the ages. And that’s just scratching the surface. With the help of Retro Gamer Magazine, let’s delve a little deeper below the surface…

BUT FIRST, A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

My childhood Hollywood Video, taken January 2006
My childhood Hollywood Video, taken January 2006

January 30, 2006. It was a quiet and idyllic Monday night, just two weeks into my Super Nintendo resurgence. On that fateful night I stopped by the Hollywood Video still lingering in my childhood hometown, hopeful to add more games to my ever growing collection. Any nostalgic memories would be but a bonus.

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I ended up buying six games that fine evening. Hollywood Video used to have a Game Crazy hub inside where they sold games from all generations. The SNES selection back in early 2006 was still a bit of a goldmine. Game Crazy did a special buy 2 get 1 free deal for their retro games. I still remember feeling so excited when I spotted ActRaiser on the glass shelf. I actually never played it back in the day so for me this was one of those “redemption” games. My SNES resurrection was a second chance to finally play all those great SNES games I missed out on as a child for one reason or another.

Nothing beats getting free games
Nothing beats getting free games
Good memories :)
Good memories :)

AN ACT OF LOVE

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Hey now, ActRaiser 2 wasn’t THAT bad, but we’ll get to that later. Many games have attempted to balance multiple genres, but few did it better than ActRaiser.

It was pure magic the moment it came on
It was pure magic the moment it came on
It showed off Mode-7 impeccably well
It showed off Mode 7 impeccably well
These are the bad guys in the simulation part
These are the bad guys in the simulation part

DIVERSE LOCALES

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Death Heim awaits...
Death Heim awaits following this…

FEARSOME BOSSES

Talk about a nostalgic first boss! God damn...
Talk about a nostalgic first boss! God damn…

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Plus many more!
Plus many more!

FILLMORE

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Hovering over the world like the sexy beast that you are, the people down below look to you for their every need: slaying monsters that have invaded their land, building up towns and generally being a source that they can place their faith in. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

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Volatile demons of all sizes and shapes come out of the woodwork to thwart your cause. I’ll always be a sucker for tree-based monsters.

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Thanks for the helping hand, sucker! Ah, look at that first boss. The Centaur Knight is such a nostalgic sight for anyone who was a Super Nintendo gamer back in the day. I have an extremely soft spot for giant boss sprites and Mr. Centaur definitely left a lasting impression.

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Simulation has never been my favorite genre but I quite enjoyed it in ActRaiser. It’s not overly complicated and it adds to the storyline of the game rather well.

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Construct the town to prosper and thrive. Be ready to protect it against hostile invaders, at all costs!

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Fillmore ain’t done with you yet! A hulking Minotaurus greets you at level’s end. Golden Axe would be proud.

BLOODPOOL

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Quintet did such a terrific job with the visuals that you could easily confuse this for a Capcom or Konami title. Bloodpool is arguably the best looking stage of the entire game. I love how atmospheric it looks! It’s particularly perfect to play on a dark and cold late afternoon in November.

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Action bit, simulation. Rinse and repeat. Somehow, it never gets boring. The crimson red lake of Bloodpool is such a cool sight. Naturally, it’s been poisoned by monsters and it’s up to you to save the day.

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Another memorable moment, a full moon hangs overhead ominously as our hero treks across to enter the horrors that lie deep within this castle…

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Initially, this appears to be a run-of-the-mill battle with a wizard warlock. That is, until he reveals his true form! ActRaiser simply captures one’s imagination.

KASANDORA

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Kasandora is a scorching desert filled with some incredible music. Composed by Yuzo Koshiro, it’s to no one’s surprise. It sounds almost Star Wars-esque. Hell, the first boss of this world is named Dagoba which is similar to Dagobah (a planet in the Star Wars universe that Yoda called home in his final years).

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Digging the Egyptian motif and mummies.

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Deranged scorpions litter your path. Eradicate them quickly and it will help take the sting out of things. A massive Pharaoh head guards the end of the level.

AITOS

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Things start off in a mountain area with foul rock-throwing trolls. It isn’t long before you catch a lift. The seemingly incessant cloud scrolling here was mind-blowing for 1991 standards.

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Inside this cavern you’ll battle terrible winged beasts and a Manda-like serpent.

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Protect the people of Aitos at all costs. Back to the hack and slash action, players find themselves buried deep inside a fiery cavern of death and misery.

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Samurai spirits [Shodown? -Ed.] attack relentlessly. A demonic fire wheel is your reward at the end of this level.

MARAHNA

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Marahna is a humid jungle guarded by a terrible plant beast with plenty of tentacles. The Japanese approve.

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Disaster strikes! Tend to the issues properly ASAP.

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Beware the grim reaper, who would love nothing more than to claim your soul. Kalia shoots lightning blasts but isn’t as tough as it looks.

NORTHWALL

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Northwall is a frozen and frigid country. It’s also one of the hardest stages in the game. Watch out for blue ogres and expect a lot of slipping and sliding around.

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Annoying bugger! Your platforming skills and patience will be put to the test.

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Bubbles assist you to the top. Hey, didn’t I see that boss in Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts? Hmmm.

DEATH HEIM

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Death Heim is no joke. Prepare for a nasty boss gauntlet. It’s only after beating these six bosses that you are deemed worthy to fight Tanzra.

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Tanzra’s final form has a whopping 40 health bars! Good Lord. I always got a kick out of bosses with health that stretches across the entire screen. It never fails to bring back that nostalgic feeling of dread and anxiety as the battle begins!

TWICE AS NICE… OR NOT

A mixed bag to say the very least...
A mixed bag to say the very least…

ActRaiser 2 was released two years later in November 1993. It’s generally crapped upon, but there is a small camp of folks who believe it’s a bit underrated. But that’s a story (or review) for another time. Few SNES games are as polarizing as ActRaiser 2. It’s a bit ironic given how much the original is universally lionized.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

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ActRaiser has earned its overwhelmingly positive reputation for good reason. There are so many unoriginal games out there — only a select few are truly unique and stand out from the pack. ActRaiser is one of those games. EGM gave it scores of 9, 9, 9 and 9. Super Play rated it 90%. Critics and fans alike ate it up. It’s widely beloved in retro gaming circles and certainly no respectable Top 100 SNES list is complete without it.

Nintendo Power ranked it #57 on their Top 100 list
Nintendo Power ranked it #57 on their Top 100 list
Retro Gamer Magazine loves it
Retro Gamer Magazine listed it 24th best SNES game

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Not just nostalgic. It's still bloody awesome
ActRaiser captures that early SNES magic to a tee

The action stages are admittedly fairly basic; there’s nothing fancy about them but they hit a very sweet spot for me. There’s a late ’80s-early ’90s action arcade game vibe to the platforming that really works. ActRaiser is of such high quality that I’d still think very highly of it even if it only consisted of the side-scrolling hack and slash bits. But it’s definitely the skillful blending of platforming and simulation that make it truly one of the all-time greats. Town building is simple enough for a sim novice such as myself to get into. The sim parts do well to make me feel that much more connected to the villagers. I always get a kick out of helping the little guys. F’rinstance, resolving the inner conflicts plaguing the people of Bloodpool by playing a special song courtesy of Kasandora stands out as a highlight. See? ActRaiser is proof that music is a unique art form and therapeutic! This masterful alternating between genres is a magical mix that Quintet absolutely crushed out of the park.

Utterly epic, it's the stuff nightmares are made of
Utterly epic, it’s the stuff nightmares are made of

Speaking of music, Yuzo Koshiro is at the top of his game here. The soundtrack is absolutely thumping and sounds like it could be something out of a Star Wars film. The boss theme in particular is suitably dramatic and foreboding. It’s some of the best on the SNES. Graphically, ActRaiser is a beautiful looking game. Although the hero’s animation is a bit stiff, I love the various locales and the overall aesthetic of the game. Colors are bright, bold and well defined. There’s not much fault I can find with this game except that it’s way too short for its own good. Just when I feel I am sinking my teeth into the game, it’s over. The action levels are especially short and rather easy (note: the Japanese version is much harder). The action sequences aren’t mind-blowing or anything, but they’re very fun and satisfying (while they last). I love the variety of magic spells at my disposal — it diversifies the action by not being a straight hack and slash affair. I also love being able to repel enemy projectiles with a well-timed sword swing. Little details like that make me a very happy gamer. If for whatever reason you still haven’t played ActRaiser yet… what are you waiting for? It’s easy to see why this is considered one of the all-time SNES greats.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9.5
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 7

Award4Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

 

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Heisenbe

Axelay (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Konami | September 1992 | 8 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Konami | September 1992 | 8 MEGS

How would Konami follow up their hit SNES shooter, Gradius III? Why, with Axelay of course. At first, you might be disappointed this isn’t a direct sequel to Gradius III. But that thought quickly subsides the second you play Axelay. It’s a technical marvel in many ways, displaying the various capabilities of Nintendo’s 16-bit wonder. Although the game only features six levels, each level is memorable and concludes with a massive, screen-filling boss that are among the very best in 16-bit history. From a terrifying multi-jointed robotic spider to a gigantic fire-spewing lava lord, Axelay stands as one of the best shooters on the Super Nintendo.

FIREPOWER

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Unlike most shooters, Axelay starts you out with your three main weapons. As you progress through the levels, your weapons receive a power-up boost. Another unique aspect of Axelay is the way in which your ship sustains damage. Getting hit by enemy fire causes you to lose whatever weapon you currently have equipped. This means you can take three hits before losing a life. However, kiss your Axelay goodbye if you make direct contact with an enemy ship or the environment. It works extremely well and makes playing Axelay a blast.

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MEMORABLE MOMENTS

Shout out to Retro Gamer Magazine for these shots
Shout out to Retro Gamer Magazine for these shots

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BIG BAD BOSSES

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THE STORY GOES…

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Something wicked this way comes. A family man admires his cherished family photo before facing the nearly insurmountable task that lies ahead.

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Corliss is being threatened by a terrible alien force.

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Axelay takes place in the fictional planetary system known as Illis. It was a peaceful place until the Armada of Annihilation decided to show up…

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There’s only one aircraft that can save Illis… Axelay!

LEVEL ONE: CUMULUSES

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Players are instantly introduced to an impressive scrolling world that sets the tone for all that is to come. Axelay is easily one of the best looking SNES games of 1992.

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There is sort of a funky gravitational pull that takes a moment or two to adjust to, but you’re off to the races blowing up the Alien Armada. You have access to all three weapons off the bat, so switch accordingly when necessary.

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Visuals are rich and vibrant. Axelay was further proof that few firms did it better than Konami in the early ’90s. Meet the boss of stage one: the terrifying Arachnatron.

LEVEL TWO: TRALIEB COLONY

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BLAST your way through space before arriving at an enemy base.

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Corliss, the planet which you call home, can be seen in the backdrop as a reminder of why you’re on this suicide mission. At level’s end, you come face to face with the T-36 Towbar — a war machine designed to impede a rebellion. Konami definitely drew inspiration from the ED-209 of RoboCop fame.

LEVEL THREE: URBANITE

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Urbanite is one of my favorite stages. Flying over the vibrant multi-colored lights of the city below is just so damn atmospheric. Even better is working your way through a network of barriers, with the more vulnerable segments needing to be blasted for passage of safety.

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Axelay has its share of mid-bosses. There’s nothing I love more than a space shooter with mini-bosses galore — well, except perhaps blasting an Alien Armada to Kingdom Come against the beautiful backdrop of a neon city at night.

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Regenertoid starts out as a funky looking black spinning top, but wearing it down reveals a sinister battle station with enough firepower to make MechaGodzilla blush.

LEVEL FOUR: THE CAVERN

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Space shooters and water-based stages nearly go hand-in-hand, and Axelay is no exception. Beautiful details like the water splashing as you go in and out speak to the level of care that Konami exercised.

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Water stages in platformers can be annoying but I love them in my SHMUPS. Once you reach the end of this level, prepare to battle the aggressive Aquadon. It’s got two weak spots but good luck focusing on which one reveals itself against the litany of hostile objects and laser beams flying at ‘cha!

LEVEL FIVE: LAVA PLANET

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Giant worms come barreling after you in a fashion that is reminiscent of Frank Herbert’s sci-fi classic, Dune. This level is easily the most visually impressive of the entire game.

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Gradius fans can’t help but smile at Konami’s nod here. But just when you think it doesn’t get any cooler, Wayler rises out of the fiery depths to completely blow your mind. This diabolical demon is easily one of the most memorable bosses in 16-bit lore.

LEVEL SIX: THE ARMADA OF ANNIHILATION’S FORTRESS

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Battle your way through a hostile alien fleet and infiltrate the enemy base.

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Intensity quickly picks up as the alien empire throws everything it has against you.

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Veinion is the evil leader behind the army. At first glance it appears to be some generic robotic overlord but after pelting away at it, it reveals its true form as a horrific alien organism. You wouldn’t expect anything less coming from Konami.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

EGM ranked it #91 on their Top 100 Games list
EGM ranked it #91 on their Top 100 Games list

Axelay is often hailed as one of the greatest SNES shooters of all time. One playthrough and it’s easy to see why. EGM gave it scores of 8, 9, 9 and 9. Super Play rated it 85%. Many fans agree that Axelay is one of the better shooters of the entire 16-bit era. As the EGM blurb above mentions though, many were also disappointed that an Axelay 2 never became a reality, as hinted at the conclusion of the game. What a tease! It’s rather reminiscent of Shadowrun.

Damnit. Still waiting...
Damnit. Still waiting…
Nothing but love for Axelay all around
Nothing but love for Axelay all around

DID YOU KNOW?

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CLOSING THOUGHTS

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Axelay is a technical marvel and yet another Konami stamp on their 16-bit résumé. From the moment you boot the game up, you find yourself waging war against an alien empire as your ship spirals into a vast cloudy sky. The special effects, music and visuals pound your senses in a way that only Konami (and a few others) could do back then. You knew you were in for a special ride. If it wasn’t confirmed by then, then surely it was by the time you reach the guardian of the first stage. A titanic terror, the Arachnatron moves its multi-joints in such a creepy and convincing manner that it makes your skin crawl. After blasting the robotic spider into thousands of pieces of metal, you’re off to the second stage which then becomes a horizontal side-scrolling affair. The six levels switch from vertical to horizontal in a seamless and impressive fashion. Although there are only six levels and it takes roughly an hour to beat, it’s such a blast that you’ll be revisiting Axelay time and time again.

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Unlike Gradius III, there isn’t much slowdown to speak of here. I love that all three weapons are available from the start and that you can upgrade them as you beat each level. It’s also pretty cool that you lose your guns on bullet hits rather than dying outright. Axelay is a fair bit more generous than your average 16-bit shooter. Its difficulty is adjustable — adequate players are challenged enough on easy while space ship shooting maniacs are taxed on the hard mode. This makes Axelay accessible to a wider audience. It also comes equipped with an auto turbo feature, unlike a few other shooters from the era (I’m looking at you, Aero Fighters and U.N. Squadron). Highly recommended, Axelay is one of the best shooters on the SNES and no respectable Top 100 SNES list is complete without it.

Graphics: 9.5
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 7.5

Award4Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

A-F*CKING-MEN
A-F*CKING-MEN

Gradius III (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Konami | August 1991 | 4 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Konami | August 1991 | 4 MEGS

Originally released in the arcade on December 11, 1989, Gradius III served as one of the launch titles for the Super Nintendo in North America circa August 1991. I’ve always had a fondness for the classic space shooter, or SHMUP as it’s come to be known. In my view, the SHMUP is one of the purest genres. I’d put it right up there with platformers and beat ‘em ups. There’s something simple yet beautiful and exquisite about being a one man army defending the galaxy against a horde of enemy ships and giant nasty bosses. It just takes me back to my childhood and a great era in gaming where classic side scrolling shooters ruled the day. Gradius III does well to recreate those memories and conjures the feels of those halcyon days.

VIC VIPER, ROLL OUT!

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Introduction was simple and brief, but got you pumped up to save the universe.

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Unfortunately, that 2 player option isn’t co-op. But on the bright side, you’re given some options [I C WAT U DID DERE -Ed.] with regards to your power-up system. I love it when games give you options; it’s always fun to tinker around with and find out what suits you best.

LEVEL ONE

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Ahhhh, that classic first stage and those early opening moments. Combined with that impeccable music, it’s ultra nostalgic and never fails to bring a smile to my face. My mind was blown the first time I saw the massive dragon flying out of the sand.

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Speaking of unforgettable and memorable, how about seeing that humongous boss at the end of stage one for the very first time? As I’ve stated before many times, no one could do bosses like Konami back in the day.

LEVEL TWO

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Stage two opens up with bubbles galore. I’ll never forget the first time I popped the bigger ones, splitting them into smaller bubbles. Yet another mind-blowing moment for its time.

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Konami does it again. Not only did their bosses have the best design, but the level of detail that went into each one truly made the bosses feel alive and real.

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Breaking down its defenses and shooting at its giant eye always struck a chord with my imagination. The boss fights in Gradius III are so much fun.

LEVEL THREE

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Halfway through this stage, the music shifts from an upbeat tune to one far more dramatic and foreboding. It was a cool effect. The boss can be pretty tough and blowing it up felt oh so satisfying.

LEVEL FOUR

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Easter Island heads (AKA Moai) litter the playing field. Things can get messy and heated fast if you don’t respond in a timely matter.

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Appropriately so, the boss of this level is the mother of all Easter Island heads.

LEVEL FIVE

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Navigate your way through this fiendish, fiery hell. For your troubles, you’re greeted by a pair of fire dragons at level’s end. Lucky you.

LEVEL SIX

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Things begin venturing into the downright bizarre as you transition from the reaches of outer space to this dangerous plant world. A massive nightmare of a creature guards this stage, and it moves in a very unsettling way. Despite the slowdown, this blew my mind as a kid back in the early ’90s.

LEVEL SEVEN

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Action really picks up speed here as the screen scrolls faster than normal. You’ll have to work your way through tight corners and narrow spaces.

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Watch out for blue balls… [You were waiting to say that, huh? -Ed.]

LEVEL EIGHT

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Gauntlet time — you’ll face off with FIVE bosses!

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Konami couldn’t decide on which one boss to keep for this level so they said screw it, let’s throw all six at the player. My theory, anyhow.

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BOSSES R US! Say hello to boss number four and five of this stage.

LEVEL NINE

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Infiltrate the enemy base and rage against the machine.

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Nothing says SHMUP like a good old screen filling boss accompanied by some dramatic, epic sounding music.

LEVEL TEN

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Brings back memories of Life Force (AKA Salamander), eh?

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Blowing through the field in these type of games never gets old. At last we come to the end boss, and what a sight for sore eyes he is. Vintage Konami. No one did bosses like they did.

OPTIONS

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The Gradius series is known for its options (helpers) but Gradius III also excels in offering the player a plethora of options. Not only are you given a choice of which weapon lineup you wish to use but the game even allows you to fully customize your choices. You can form your dream team so to speak and mix and match to your heart’s content.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

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Gradius III on the SNES has a mostly favorable reputation, but is mainly criticized for its (immense) bouts of slowdown. Although to be fair, the 1989 arcade had its share of slowdown as well. I didn’t mind the slowdown so much as it actually helps more than it hinders. Slowdown is just more forgivable when that’s the case. EGM gave it scores of 8, 8, 8 and 8. Super Play rated it 82%. Being a launch title in North America, Gradius III is one of the more nostalgic games in the SNES catalog for many folks, myself included.

We'll never forget sights like this!
We’ll never forget sights like this!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Not perfect but perfectly nostalgic
Not perfect but perfectly nostalgic

There’s a reason why so many folks hold Gradius III in high regard. While it’s certainly not the best playing shooter on the Super Nintendo, there’s an undeniable charm to it that has left a lasting impression on those who initially played it back in 1991. The graphics were amazing for its time but it was the stellar soundtrack that completed the package, ensuring that Gradius III would always have a special place in our gaming hearts. Even to this day, I can still hear the tunes playing in my head. Whenever I think of classic space shooters, Gradius III always immediately comes to mind. It’s a game I find myself revisiting rather frequently throughout the years and one that never fails to make me smile.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9.5
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 8

Overall: 8.5

Double Silver Award
Double Silver Award
Some shit never gets old
LONG LIVE GRADIUS III, BAY BAY!!

Castlevania: Dracula X (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Konami | September 1995 | 16 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Konami | September 1995 | 16 MEGS

CASTLEVANIA. The mere mention instantly conjures many warm memories for gamers of all ages. Hell, the name is nearly synonymous with the NES and classic gaming itself. Play through any of the pre-N64 renditions and it’s easy to see why this beloved franchise has been lionized by so many fans throughout the years. The epic NES series naturally transitioned to the SNES with the epochal Super Castlevania IV in 1991. Dracula X was the final 16-bit Castlevania game as we know it. Being that it’s Halloween season, let’s grab our magical Belmont whip and take a closer look…

A GOLDEN AGE

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When I got back into all things Super Nintendo in early 2006 (January 17 to be precise), I was lucky to be at the right place at the right time. Early 2006 was a great time to be buying SNES games by the truckload. Many didn’t cost more than $10 shipped, and a ton literally went for as cheap as $5 shipped. Titles were not only cheap but they were plentiful as well. However, even back in 2006 there were a few key titles that commanded $40+ even cart only. Castlevania: Dracula X was one of those games, but I was fortunate enough to nab a copy for exactly $40. I beat the rush and nostalgia train by several years, and boy was I thankful about that. These games now command a small fortune and I would never have assembled my collection if I got back into the SNES scene post-2012 or so. Timing is everything.

LOST IN THE SHADOWS

Almost everyone loves the first SNES Castlevania game
Almost everyone loves the first SNES Castlevania game

Nearly 26 years ago today, Super Castlevania IV arrived on the Super Famicom and made its mark as one of the all time Super Nintendo greats. Japan received it on Halloween 1991 (how fitting) while North American audiences got it in time for Christmas ’91. Konami showcased the raw power of the brand new SNES and it left a lasting impression to say the very least.

"You're HUNTING IT all right, yeah. JUST LIKE ME!"
“You’re HUNTING IT all right, yeah. JUST LIKE ME!”

I reviewed Super Castlevania IV back in October of 2008, nearly 10 years ago. Man, time flies! This was a massive effort that took many hours piecing together, and it’s one of my personal favorites. The liberal plot re-imagining used shots from Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. It really fitted in well! That whole review has a crazy Halloween vibe to it. I think it stands as one of the best reviews I’ve ever created and I’m super proud of how it all came together almost a decade ago now.

You can't kill the Boogeyman...
You can’t kill the Boogeyman…

Growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite film franchises. I still recall watching the first one in 1989 as a wee six year old thinking that Halloween was a movie about kids trick-or-treating. Later that night, I had a lucid nightmare that Michael Myers was stalking me in my bedroom! I became a fan for life — go figure! Every Halloween I try to watch at least one of the Halloween films as well as play games like Super Castlevania IV.

I will never NOT love Halloween season
I will never NOT love Halloween season

These images, which I splattered throughout my Super Castlevania IV review nearly 10 years ago, really evoke the spooky and atmospheric pulse of the Halloween season. It’s a fond trip down memory lane for me. I hope you enjoyed the Halloween 4 Simon Belmont intro as much as I had fun making it. After all, Halloween isn’t complete without a little Dr. Loomis and Michael Myers action! [That sounds like a fan fic someone already wrote -Ed.]

This is awesome. But how does Dracula X fare?
Truly one of the Super Nintendo’s finest
This is awesome but how does Dracula X fare?
This is awesome but how does Dracula X fare?
It takes a while to sink one's teeth in...
It takes a while to sink one’s teeth in…

My initial impressions with Dracula X were certainly not too favorable. Here’s what I wrote in my gaming journal: Super Castlevania IV this ain’t. Hey where’s my up and diagonal whip? Where’s my rotating whip? Why is the attack shorter on time? Why does Richter walk up stairs like he just crapped in his pants, eh?

"Oh I'll sink my teeth alright..."
“Oh I’ll sink my teeth alright…”

So, yeah, not too good first thoughts. But don’t judge a book by its cover right? After some help and motivation from various gaming pals, I marched on determined to see if the game would get better. After all, it’s not how one starts but how one ends. Let’s delve deeper into Dracula X

THE STORY GOES…

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The moon hovered ominously over the village… something afoul was brewing…

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An evil DARKNESS had befallen the land, giving rise to sinister vampire legends. Until now the people of Transylvania had grown accustomed to their nice peaceful existence, secure in the knowledge that their famed hero, Simon Belmont, had sealed the fate of one, Count Dracula, several hundred years prior.

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But as we all know, peace doesn’t last forever. People became complacent in their security over time. Then late one night at the witching hour, wicked townsfolk possessed by the darkness gathered in secret holding demonic séances in an attempt to bring back the Prince of Darkness… Sir Dracula!

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Night after night they chanted relentlessly, calling out to revive Count Dracula. While everyone else had already retired for the evening, these heathens scurried out from their dark holes to convene in an ancient abandoned abbey.

Thunder rumbled across the night sky as lightning cracked the abbey. From the dead rose the Prince of Darkness!

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Dracula plotted to exact revenge upon Richter Belmont, the descendant of the family that destroyed him. The Prince of Evil viciously attacked the town with his unholy legion. In a single night, lives young and old were wiped out. This time Dracula brought some brand new toys. True abominations, towering monsters of destruction and nightmares ravaged the village. The townsfolk never stood a chance — it was a blood bath.

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Dracula was more ruthless than ever before. He kidnapped Richter’s girlfriend, Annet, as well as her little sister, Maria. Imprisoning them in his vile castle, he awaits Richter’s inevitable arrival.

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Richter, burdened by his destiny, left for Dracula’s castle with his legendary ancestral whip in hand. Not only that but the stout determination to save his loved ones and the resolve to send Dracula to eternal damnation once and for all.

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As the full moon casts an eerie glow overhead, Richter Belmont gazes at Dracula’s castle ominously looming in the distance. He knows once inside that there’s a chance he might not make it out alive. But he’ll boldly risk life and limb in order to save his girlfriend Annet and her sister Maria. The chilly night air sends tingles up and down his body as if someone took electrical wires and brushed them against the back of his neck. There is much terror and pain before him, but this is the life of a Belmont… the destiny of Richter Belmont!

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Repeat, "It's not Dracula X: Rondo of Blood"
Repeat, “It’s not Dracula X: Rondo of Blood”

THE CAST

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THE SUB-WEAPONS

The boomerang holy cross is my favorite
The boomerang holy cross is my favorite

THE GAME

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Richter Belmont’s less than athletic control can be a bit off putting at first but thankfully, having a sub-weapon like the axe certainly evens the odds up a bit.

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And what would a Castlevania game be without bloody annoying bats that fly and swoop at ‘cha? This is definitely where you’ll miss the incredibly versatile whipping skills of Simon Belmont. Without question this makes Dracula X harder.

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The skeletons in Dracula X are a bit more nimble than the ones we saw in Super Castlevania IV. The ones here tend to leap around like Mexican jumping beans.

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I’ve heard many complaints over the SNES version of Dracula X, but here is one major win. Remember how frustrating it was to lose your favorite sub-weapon by accidentally touching another one? Dracula X gives you a few seconds to pick up your previous weapon should you grab (accidentally or not) another weapon. Brilliant.

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Believe it or not, this guy ain’t a boss! In fact, you can’t even kill it. All you can do is walk as briskly as you can (‘coz you know, Belmont boys just don’t run). This is a neat twist on forced scrolling. Of course, you’ll be required to make some pixel-perfect jumps, which if successful, will land Richter right on the edge of the platform. Get used to it.

Clash of the Titans would be proud
Clash of the Titans would be proud

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Level two opens with a bang as your ears are suddenly treated to a familiar tune. If this doesn’t get you feeling all tingly inside, you are without pulse.

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Murderous merman and bridges that break — all classic staples of the famed Castlevania franchise!

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The drawbridge lowers as you reach the end… it’s another nod to Super Castlevania IV fans!

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I love this barrel chucking enemy. In general I just love  when games add a wrinkle or two to their bad guys. Little touches here and there helps to spice a game up.

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And of course, what would a Castlevania game be without a haunted castle hallway?

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Their shields are no match for your knives. I like how you can pick this fool off safely from this perch.

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A new feature in Dracula X is the Weapon Crash. This allows Richter to launch an all-out assault of his sub-weapon. It inflicts more damage but eats up more hearts, too. Each Weapon Crash is different and has its own strengths and shortcomings.

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The Spear Men are a true menace. It could easily be Game Over if you find yourself surrounded by a couple of these purple bastards.

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In true Castlevania fashion, certain blocks can be destroyed. This may unlock hidden goodies such as meat. So swing your whip around — you never know when you might find a breakable block.

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This gigantic vampire bat is the second boss you’ll face. He looks rather nasty but his bark is bigger than his bite. Whack him down to size. Literally.

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Although Richter doesn’t control as well as Simon did, he does have at least two moves on Simon: backflipping and the moonwalk. Both come in handy at various points, as you can imagine. F’rinstance, moonwalking does wonders here.

A familiar face (or two) from the past.
A familiar face (or two) from the past.

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How I loathe those bloody annoying Medusa Heads. Use the Pillar Bones to give yourself a boost.

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ARRGGHHH! The Spear Men are almost as annoying as the Medusa Heads. By the way, it’s amazing how they can poke a spear through that thick block but I digress.

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You gotta love moments like this. You know the programmers had some fun here. I’ve always preferred the cross AKA boomerang but Holy Water has its uses as well ;)

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Super Castlevania IV features 11 stages while Dracula X has nine, but you can only trek through seven at a time. Levels four and five have two different levels you can take, depending on what you do (or don’t do). And this will also change the outcome of the game. Yes, there are three possible endings: best, OK and bad. Nice!

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You’ll secure the best ending only if you can save both Annet and Maria as well as slay Dracula. It’s a tall task. If you lose a life, the key is lost for all eternity!

How can one not love Castlevania?
How can one not love Castlevania?

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Unintentional humor abounds when Richter’s arm goes straight through the door. Oops!

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Remember how Super Castlevania IV grants you a brief moment of invincibility after taking damage? Not so here. Like I said, everything is harder in this game by a considerable amount.

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Sweet background. I’m a sucker for anything ancient ruins. This is the alternative level five by the way.

Go back to The Land Before Time, Long Neck!
Go back to The Land Before Time, Long Neck!

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This huge pile of Bone Pillars, while intimidating, is no match for Richter Belmont. The final showdown is almost at hand. But before you can take on Dracula, you must first contend with an old friend named DEATH. They don’t call him that for nothing, believe you me. It might be Richter’s fate as well as your controller’s as well, if you get my drift.

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To say that Dracula X is a difficult game is a gross understatement. It will test your will, possibly breaking it too. At times I was cursing like a sailor. It’s not really my style but the pixel-perfect required jumps, swooping bats, Medusa Heads, and Richter’s somewhat stiff mobility led to many moments of frustration.

BREAKTHROUGH

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After beating Super Castlevania IV for the first time ever back on April 29, 2006, I decided to fire up Dracula X the very next day. I was enjoying it somewhat at first until I made it to the boss of level four. He’s got two forms. Frustrated, I vented on a gaming board and it was there that an old internet pal urged me to stick it out with Dracula X.

Glad I listened to my friend!
Glad I listened to my friend!

He defended it, saying it’s got a stilted gameplay system that forces you to be absolutely perfect if there is any hope of win. Somehow, the sentence stuck with me. I decided to stick with Dracula X, and that fateful night finally defeated the Cloak boss.

Not on my watch...
Not on my watch…

I would go on to face DEATH who absolutely destroyed me more times than I dare count, but then I got locked into the proverbial zone. I ended up perfecting his ass and went on to defeat Dracula for the very first time. I don’t think I could ever accomplish that again. It was exhilarating.

Beating Dracula was a rush!
Beating Dracula was a rush!

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By the way, a special shout out to this bad guy. He’s not a boss but he’s one of my favorites. It’s a shame that he only appears once. He’s sort of like the Abobo or Andore of Dracula X.

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Many claim the Dracula showdown in this game to be among the toughest in the franchise. Initially, I would agree. But not so if you know where to position yourself properly…

Konami did bosses like few other firms could
Konami did bosses like few other firms could

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

It's impossible to think of  Super Castlevania IV and...
It’s hard to think of Super Castlevania IV and…
... NOT smile. It's a proven fact, oh yeah
NOT smile. SNES Dracula X on the other hand…

Almost everyone adores Super Castlevania IV, but the same can’t be said for the SNES version of Dracula X. It’s been knocked over the years and its reception is a mixed bag. When compared to the superior PC-Engine original, the SNES version falls short. You’ll find just as much criticism as you’d find praise for this game.

It made for one hell of a sweet cover, though
It made for one hell of a sweet cover, though

However, Dracula X fared slightly better with most gaming publications. EGM gave it scores of 6.5, 6.5, 7 and 7. GameFan gave it ratings of 82, 84 and 93%. Super Play rated it 80%. So while it didn’t quite live up to the lofty Castlevania standards set before it, it still earned fairly respectable marks.

Well summarized by those Super Play chums
Well summarized by those Super Play chums

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"FANGS" for the memories. Sorry... [Oh dear -Ed.]
“FANGS” for the memories. Sorry… [Oh dear -Ed.]
Not having played the PC-Engine import, I’m unable to compare the SNES version. This is perhaps a blessing in disguise. However, coming off the heels of playing through Super Castlevania IV, I had to put that aside and judge Dracula X on its own merits. The game grew on me before I knew it. Do I wish we got a proper Castlevania sequel with 1995 SNES trimmings instead? Of course. But so many times I feel we can focus too much on what wasn’t instead of enjoying what is. And Dracula X is, in my opinion, a fine action adventure. Once I adjusted to the difficulty level and the stilted control of Richter Belmont, I found myself inching closer to Dracula step by step as I disposed of his cronies one at a time. Most importantly, I found myself having a pretty good time.

It has plenty to offer if you enter with the right mindset
It has plenty to offer if entered with the right mindset

Being that it’s Halloween time, I’ve been replaying the two Super Nintendo Castlevania games all month long. I’ll always love the first game and I’ve come to appreciate the second one over the years. Taken for what it is and judged on its own merits, there’s plenty to like. While not the Konami swan song we were all hoping for in their final Super Nintendo Castlevania offering, it’s still a pretty good game at its core. One that is worthy enough to be in any Super Nintendo library and deserving to be played every Halloween season or so. If you’re looking for a challenging action game with awesome music and a wickedly macabre atmosphere, then you’ve found a pretty good candidate here. Stick with it and you might find you’re glad that you did. Finally, two tips to help enhance your Dracula X experience: 1). Turn off all the lights and 2). Tell yourself it’s not the PC-Engine original or a sequel to Super Castlevania IV. Happy demon slaying and happy Halloween!

Graphics: 8
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 6.5

AwardOverall: 7.5
Bronze Award

 

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL!  MWAHAHA!  ^_^
HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y’ALL!  MWAHAHA!  ^_^

Nosferatu (SNES)

Pub & Dev: Seta | October 1995 | 16 MEGS
Pub & Dev: Seta | October 1995 | 16 MEGS

Although it was released in 1995, Nosferatu had been in development for years prior and was originally scheduled to be released much earlier. It can best be described as Prince of Persia meets a mix of Castlevania and Splatterhouse. There weren’t a great deal of dark games on the Super Nintendo. So as a fan of the macabre, this was one game I definitely had my eye on back in the day. The lovely magazine previews made it seem like a can’t miss affair. Did it live up to the hype I created inside my gaming heart all those years ago? Sadly, especially considering the lengthy delays, the answer is an emphatic NO. But that doesn’t mean it’s not without some merit. Since we’re in the middle of Halloween season, I can’t think of a better time than now to take a closer look at what SHOULD have been one of the Super Nintendo’s unsung treasures.

WHY SO LONG?

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Man, do I remember the magazine previews for this game. I would just stare at the previews in awe, thinking to myself back in the early-mid ’90s, “All these cute and colorful SNES games are nice and all but where are the darker, more mature titles at?” One glance at this game and it was like Seta had read my mind. But Nosferatu remained in developmental hell year after year. You began to wonder if it would ever see the light of day. After years of delay, Seta finally released it in October of 1995. Better late than never, right…

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I wanted so badly to play Nosferatu back in the day but I somehow never did. My brother and I bought an issue of SWAT Pro Magazine once and it featured an amazing eight page breakdown of Nosferatu. I must have read those eight pages over 100 times. From the macabre visuals to the maze maneuvering, it looked like a game tailored made for my monster and adventure loving heart. Sadly, as I said, I never got around to playing Nosferatu as a kid. It came out pretty late in the Super Nintendo’s lifespan — by the fall of 1995 I was more concerned with navigating the murky waters of junior high than keeping tabs with the latest SNES releases. I eventually donated my SNES to my cousin David in ’98 or ’99. But things came full circle when I repurchased the system on January 17, 2006. Nosferatu was one of the earlier games I bought (February 8, 2006). At long last, it was time to quell a childhood curiosity that had stood for over 10 years.

Wait, I didn't see these monsters in the final version...
Wait I didn’t see these monsters in the final version…

Cool looking monsters, right? Sadly, you don’t see any of these huge beasts in the game. And see how our hero looks like he’s firing some sort of voodoo projectile at the two-headed behemoth there? Looks pretty rad, right? But nowhere in the actual game is it found! Who knows why, but seeing these early shots bring a tear to my eye knowing what could have been

THE STORY GOES…

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Be sure to watch the 1922 silent film or 1979 version
Be sure to watch the 1922 silent film or 1979 version

GAME BASICS

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Nosferatu features a very basic power-up system. Kyle’s fighting prowess increases as you collect crystals found via treasure chests or slain beasts. Sadly, the gems are rather scarce and it’s far too easy to lose them, especially when facing Frankenstein or those damn floating eye balls.

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Collect these items as you go along to aid you in your quest. Be sure to explore everywhere. The green gem is highly valuable since it adds new bars to your life. You’ll need every last one!

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The first stage is simple, introducing you to the game mechanics by putting you at ease and setting the somber mood proper. Later stages, however, have branching paths to wade through.

Theres a slight puzzle element to the game
There’s a slight puzzle element to the game
Which one is it going to be?
Which one is it going to be?

Hmmm, shall I take the brightly lit stairs leading up or the dark stairs leading down filled with beastly growls? [For you, take the dark stairs leading down… -Ed.]

Lots of doors in Nosferatu to navigate through
Lots of doors in Nosferatu to navigate through
Its not just a mindless action game
It’s not just a mindless action game
Look for blocks and walls to push
Look for blocks and walls to push
Jigsaw would be proud
Jigsaw would be proud
REALLY proud
REALLY proud
Careful there, Kyle!
Careful there, Kyle!
Watch out for the monsters. Speaking of which...
Watch out for the monsters. Speaking of which…
Perfect for Halloween
Perfect for Halloween
Reminds me of Altered Beast...
Reminds me of Altered Beast

LEVEL ONE

Kyle is dumped unceremoniously in this little holding cell
Kyle is dumped unceremoniously in this holding cell
You find a way out but quickly learn you're not alone...
You find a way out but quickly learn you’re not alone
Well then, have a little...
Well then, have a little…
... FIST SANDWICH!
… FIST SANDWICH!

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Animation is pretty top-notch stuff. I love the detail of the prisoner reaching out there…

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Pocket the treasure and quickly high tail it! Something is definitely not right here…

Kyle wants no part in a human centipede
Kyle wants no part in a human centipede

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Attention to detail is surely impressive. You gotta love the female begging there. Dare enter the dark room there?

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One of the most atmospheric SNES games around
One of the most atmospheric 16-bit games around

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Get a good running start and slide. Otherwise, BAM!
Get a good running start and slide. Otherwise, BAM!
"SUPPER COMES EARLY TONIGHT, MOMMA!"
“SUPPER COMES EARLY TONIGHT, MOMMA!”

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Get the red gem to increase your fighting strength
Get the red gem to increase your fighting strength

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Better time this correctly or else!

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Kyle’s got bigger problems to worry about than falling… such as Frankie’s fists!

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Ah, out of the decrepit hell hole and you find yourself on the outskirts of the forest on a cool chilly night. If you guess this is the prelude to the first boss battle, then you my friend are correct.

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Slightly reminiscent of Antonio from Streets of Rage
Slightly reminiscent of Antonio from Streets of Rage
Ah, the memories
Or maybe it’s just me :P
Luckily for you he is as dumb as a box of rocks
Luckily for you he is as dumb as a box of rocks
Clever! And very cool, too
Clever! And very cool, too
Get too close and he'll toss you around like a rag doll
Get too close and he’ll toss you around like a rag doll
[Yeah, that line always works... -Ed.]
[Yeah, that line always works… -Ed.]
We're certainly off to a good, memorable start
We’re certainly off to a solid, memorable start…

LEVEL TWO

An eye for an eye... [You're fired -Ed.]
An eye for an eye… [You’re fired -Ed.]
This guy is super annoying. You can only jump kick him to death. Not bad until you factor in it’s hard to do that. If you are carrying gems, you’ll lose a few when he knocks you down. Cheap as hell…

Whew, too close for comfort!
Whew, too close for comfort!
ProTip: Do NOT play Red Rover with Frankie
ProTip: Do NOT play Red Rover with Frankie
Unless you like losing your gems!
Unless you like losing your gems!
On paper it sounds great. In execution however...
On paper it sounds great. In execution however…
Seta were clearly fans of FLOCK OF SEAGULLS
Seta were clearly fans of FLOCK OF SEAGULLS

I couldn’t get away!

Reached out a hand to touch your face.
You’re slowly disappearing from my view.
Disappearing from my view.

And I ran.
I ran so far away.
I just ran.
I ran all night and day.
I couldn’t get away!

WHOA!
WHOA!
First Frankie, now Mummy. Monster quota is being met
First Frankie, now Mummy. Monster quota being met
See, video games can be eductational
See, video games can be educational
Don't play hero, Kyle. Get the hell outta dodge!
Don’t play hero, Kyle. Get the hell outta dodge!
"Oh crap, cramp cramp!  One second please..."
“Oh crap — cramp! One second please…”
Love how deformed and raggedly he looks
Love how deformed and raggedly he looks
Reappearing obstacles, check
Reappearing obstacles, check

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These little moments where the action speeds up and the sense of urgency increases is where the game delivers most.

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Puzzles aren’t very taxing. Push a block to activate the switch which opens the door there. Nonetheless, it adds some flavor instead of being your typical platformer.

Maybe Kyle should have played in the NFL
Maybe Kyle should have played in the NFL
Is that Sanda and Gaira?!
Is that Sanda and Gaira?!
The War of the Gargantuas (1966)
The War of the Gargantuas (1966)
Ouch. Kyle will feel that one in the morning
Ouch. Kyle will feel that one in the morning

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Nosferatu has some nice cutscenes. I love how we catch a very brief glimpse of the vampire himself, watching and stalking Kyle from his tower…

'Tis a shame
‘Tis a shame

LEVEL THREE

"WHOA BRO! Someone could use a Tic Tac..."
“WHOA BRO! Someone could use a Tic Tac…”

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Please don't let me fall again...
Please don’t let me fall again…

See that little opening there up top? This is a pretty cool spot where you need to stop and ponder first before jumping and going at it all gung-ho. It’s hard to explain but it’s moments like this that I love navigating.

Pick the right box or else...
Pick the right box or else…
... BOOBY TRAPPED!
… BOOBY TRAPPED!

WAYS TO DIE

Spear
Spear
Wall spikes
Wall spikes
Ceiling spikes
Ceiling spikes
Floor spikes
Floor spikes
OUCH!
OUCH!

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TIPS

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Climb down to peek below before you jump
Climb down to peek below before you jump
Haste makes waste
Haste makes waste

Inch your way by walking instead of running. This allows you to see things and obstacles to come.

Keep Kyle alert and ready to strike at all times
Keep Kyle alert and ready to strike at all times
Try every door. You never know what you may find...
Try every door. You never know what you may find…
ProTip: Avoid falling great distances [Thanks -Ed.]
ProTip: Avoid falling great distances [Thanks… -Ed.]
Keep your distance from bone wielding zombies
Keep your distance from bone wielding zombies
Make your first strike a jump kick to certain enemies
Make your first strike a jump kick to certain enemies
Dont rub the belly
Don’t rub the belly. Trust me on that one

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This handy cheat saves this game somewhat. It allows you to sample the later levels which the programmers at Seta made damn difficult to reach naturally. Levels 4-6 are INSANELY brutal. Even on Easy, it ain’t. Far from it! Part of it is due to the stiff control. Here are some other great cheats:

  • Maximize HealthDo spinning kick, pause, Up, X, right, A, down, B, left, Y
  • Maximize Power CrystalsPause, Up, X, right, A, down, B, left, Y
  • [GAME GENIE]  Don’t Lose Crystals When HitC265-3DBD
  • [GAME GENIE]  Almost Infinite EnergyC9BA-1F04

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

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To nobody’s surprise, GameFan once again went semi-gaga over a game that both EGM and Super Play were both less forgiving and a bit harsher toward. That is the case 9 times out of 10. Expect GameFan to dole out the more generous scores while EGM and especially Super Play were harder to impress. EGM scored it 6.5, 6.5, 7.0 and 7.0. GameFan gave it ratings of 80, 85 and 88%. Super Play rated it 75%. Nosferatu is a mixed bag among SNES fans. Most tend to dig its macabre and ghoulish atmosphere, but it’s hampered by stiff gameplay and an absurdly high level of (cheap) difficulty.

Oh and here are GamePros thoughts :P
Oh and here are GamePro’s two cents :P

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Not quite what I wanted it to be...
Not quite what I wanted it to be…

I vividly remember drooling at all of the Nosferatu previews and screenshots back in the day, thinking to myself what a cool and awesome game it must be. It looked like an enticing hybrid of such beloved games like Prince of Persia, Castlevania and Splatterhouse. “How could this game be anything but fantastic!?” I thought. Fast forward nearly 15 years later to the year 2009. I finally quelled my Nosferatu curiosity and I’m sad to say it fell way short of my expectations. Although I try my best to play a game for the very first time with a blank canvas in mind, admittedly I do enter select video games with certain hopes. I thought to myself that Nosferatu would surely be a “hidden gem.” I came into it believing it would play like a game that deserves no less than a strong 8 out of 10 score. Sometimes a game will meet my expectations. Other times it may even exceed. And then sadly, there are times where the game falls below par and you shake your head at what a missed opportunity. I wish I could tell you Nosferatu belongs somewhere in the first two categories but it plops itself into the tragic, heartbreaking third category. That’s not to say Nosferatu isn’t without its good points. The graphics are pretty cool and although the scenery appears somewhat repetitive, the visuals really give this game a unique and somber mood that fits in perfectly with this time of the year (Halloween season). The music suits it well and adds to the atmosphere. And unlike other similar games on the SNES, Nosferatu scrolls rather than flicking between screens. When fighting the monsters, the third and final right cross from Kyle results in a semi-slow motion cinematic blow, which only adds to the Hammer Horror B-Movie feel.

Eat your heart out, Criss Angel
Eat your heart out, Criss Angel

It’s a shame then that the controls aren’t nearly as responsive as one would hope. The rotoscope animation is lovely but controlling Kyle is a bit of a pain. To run you double tap but it’s way harder than it oughta be. Why not make “R” run? In the later levels there are tough traps and cruel enemy placements galore that, combined with the less-than-stellar control, makes the game far harder than it should be. The sick looking demons and set pieces are top-notch for the most part but you just wish the game plays as well as it looks. The gameplay isn’t innovative — it borrows heavily from past games in the genre and the puzzles aren’t that taxing. But the lack of control and insane difficulty really puts a damper on things. I wanted to like Nosferatu so much. On the surface, it looks like it has all the makings to be a great obscure gem that somehow fell through the cracks. But then you play it and you realize why nobody ever really talks about it (outside of Halloween season). I still like it and it’s certainly a game I’ll pull off the shelf every October for a go or two… well, at least for the first two levels, anyhow. But there will always be a part of me that can’t help but think, “Oh what could have been.” Especially given all the delays. Oh well, you can’t win them all. While Nosferatu has its moments, I’m sad to say that all things considered it’s probably my most disappointing Super Nintendo game of all time.

Graphics: 8.5
Sound: 8.5
Gameplay: 6
Longevity: 6

Overall: 6.0

Oh what could have been indeed...
Oh what could have been indeed…
Whoa, this just became a disturbing fan fic...
Whoa, this just became a disturbing fan fic…

It’s late in the evening; she’s wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, “Do I look all right?”
And I say, “Yes, you look wonderful tonight.”

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that’s walking around with me.
And then she asks me, “Do you feel all right?”
And I say, “Yes, I feel wonderful tonight.”

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don’t realize how much I love you.

It’s time to go home now and I’ve got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, “My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight.”

Ghoul Patrol (SNES)

Pub: JVC | Dev: LucasArts | November 1994 | 8 MEGS
Pub: JVC | Dev: LucasArts | November 1994 | 8 MEGS

Today is Friday the 13th. This is considered an infamous day that may bring bad luck and misfortunes more than your average day. This next game could not be reviewed on a better day. Ghoul Patrol is the unnamed “sequel” to Zombies Ate My Neighbors, one of my favorite two player SNES games back in the day. Growing up, Ghoul Patrol was one of those games I always wanted to play but never did. I finally quelled that curiosity seven years ago (October 2010). I wish I could say it was a worthy follow-up but sadly, it falls a bit short of that. It’s not terrible or even bad by any means, but it’s a rather forgettable effort that should have been so much more.

ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS

"Oh Susie -- we're JUST DYING to meet you!"
“Oh Susie — we’re JUST DYING to meet you!”

In the fall of 1993, Zombies Ate My Neighbors thrilled 16-bit gamers and proved that there are few things more satisfying than killing zombies and mummies alongside your best friend. ZAMN graced the covers of gaming magazines, earned high scores and accolades, and there was no end in sight to its popularity. It became something of a cult classic. A two player zombie romp, players were madly thrust into numerous B-movie inspired levels battling mutant spiders, werewolves, evil dolls, martians, chainsaw wielding masked maniacs and even a towering titanic toddler. It was a brilliant pastiche of various gaming genres; hell, you could even say survival horror. Along the way there’s plenty of camp, gags and dark humor that endeared itself to gamers all around the world. Not only was it one of the best SNES games released in 1993, some say it’s one of the best (two player) SNES games ever made.

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Containing over 50 levels of sheer mayhem, I love how each level has a clever name of sorts. This one, I Was A Chainsaw Maniac, is my favorite one. Set in a giant crate factory, you must locate several keys in order to rescue cheerleaders and drooling babies. It sounds easy until you factor in all the unrelenting masked maniacs out to get them (and you)! Nothing gets the pulse beating quite like hearing the revving of chainsaws in the air and seeing two burly mad men give chase as you zip, bob, dodge and weave through the hellish factory! Good times.

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Back in the day, my best friend Nelson and I played the crap out of this game. We would huddle around my 27 inch Sony TV, shouting and laughing. Such was the diverse range of emotions ZAMN delivered. One second you could be bowling over in laughter at the slightly perverse humor, and the very next second screaming in pure anguish as innocent lives perish at the hands of the various monsters. I can’t think of too many games that takes you on such a wild roller coaster ride as this one does. It’s still good as a one player game but the real magic happens with two. Even to this day, it’s one of the most beloved games on the SNES. Like the many horror movies it freely borrows from, Zombies Ate My Neighbors has developed quite the cult following over the past quarter century. I can’t help but smile whenever this game happens to cross my mind. It just reminds me of a simpler time. A time where you and your best pal spent the weekends gaming and didn’t have to worry about bills or work. Needless to say, a sequel sure would have a LOT to live up to.

GHOUL PATROL

Somewhere, Chris Tucker is smiling
Somewhere, Chris Tucker is smiling

A “spiritual sequel” of sorts to Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Ghoul Patrol features Zeke and Julie in a brand new adventure. I was so curious about Ghoul Patrol back in 1994 but I never got to play it. One vivid memory of Ghoul Patrol that stands out to me to this day came some time in 1995. I was at Software Etc. when I spotted this game marked at the low price of $19.99 — all the other SNES games were $50+. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I even flagged down an employee to confirm. “Is Ghoul Patrol really selling for just twenty bucks?” The clerk nodded. At a time when SNES games were going for $49.99 up to $79.99, $19.99 just seemed crazy! Unfortunately, I didn’t capitalize on the deal but I remember going home that day with the game on my mind. I mean, being the “sequel” to Zombies Ate My Neighbors, it was already on my mind. But on top of that, $20?! My young mind rationalized that maybe the game had only like three levels… I don’t know… like a “shareware” version or something. Or worse — what if the game totally blows? I remember thinking immediately, “No way. That’s just crazy talk!” Fast forward some 15 years to October 2010. I finally played Ghoul Patrol. While it doesn’t totally blow, a big part of me is glad I never got to play it back in the day. I’m not sure 11 year old me would have been able to handle the disappointment…

THE STORY GOES…

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THE GHOUL PATROL

Zeke and Julie from Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Zeke and Julie from Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Doesn't quite have the charm of the original, eh?
Doesn’t quite have the charm of the original, eh?

WEAPONS

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The first game had a ton of weapons and they were all rather silly which added to the zany campy fun. Chucking silverware and tomatoes aren’t exactly serious weapons. In Ghoul Patrol though, you only have five weapons and there’s no humor behind any of them. But due to having only five weapons, you thankfully don’t have to scroll through 87 weapons. Another good thing: the crossbow has unlimited arrows. Ammo in Zombies Ate My Neighbors was always an issue of concern but never here in Ghoul Patrol.

WORLD ONE: THE METROPOLIS

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Still gotta collect keys. Chicken refills your health
Still gotta collect keys. Chicken refills your health

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Although the victims aren’t as charming as the neighbors in the first game, this unlucky old bloke is quite a hoot. Some folks just have all the (bad) luck, eh?

Someone was a fan of Ghoul Patrol...
Someone was a fan of Ghoul Patrol
You're tempted to leave him but don't, obviously
You’re tempted to leave him but don’t, obviously
Love the improved look to the exit doors, though
Love the improved look to the exit doors, though
Gone mostly is the campy fun of the monsters
Gone mostly is the campy fun of the monsters
"How about you borrow some Old Spice first?"
“How about you borrow some Old Spice first?”
"Uhhh, where's that bus?  I've been waiting so long..."
“Uhhh, where’s that bus? I’ve been waiting so long…”
Like one of them giant robot toys I had in the '80s
Like one of them giant robot toys I had in the ’80s

Each world contains three or four stages followed by a gigantic boss. This is another big difference from the first game. Ghoul Patrol is much more straight forward while Zombies Ate My Neighbors had all sorts of secrets. The somewhat stiff control makes a clean boss fight sadly suicidal. Thus, boss battles are of the gimpy “consume invincible potion and hack away” sort. The first boss is a towering robotic warhead. Use your items to defeat him.

Oh yeah. Brings back memories...
Oh yeah. Brings back memories…

WORLD TWO: ANCIENT CHINA

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Here's a good time to bust out the new slide feature
Here’s a good time to bust out the new slide
SAFE! Well, not for long! Run along, Zeke boy!
SAFE!  Well, not for long. Run along, Zeke boy!
Ahhh... this brings back memories
Ahhh… this brings back memories

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And neither is this!
And neither is this!
Ah, saved by the stones. Nice
Ah, saved by the stones. Nice
Yes, homeboy is chowing down a bowl of rice
Yes, homeboy is chowing down a bowl of rice

Each time period has its own unique victims. As stated earlier, they’re just not as charming as they were in the first game. They’re just… kinda there. Sure it’s a small thing but it all adds up in the end.

Observe the worst feeling in this game
Observe… the worst feeling in this game
Grab one quick before that victim bites the dust
Grab one quick before that victim bites the dust
Crap
Crap

When keys run low, the time taken to secure the next one can make all the difference between life and death. Although you should be fine on keys if you’re playing from level one. If you’re continuing off a password however, then all bets are off. The enemy AI here isn’t as relentless as it was in the first game. Those samurai skeletons are pretty savvy but most other enemies kind of just meander around, even with victims in the vicinity. A bit odd but it benefits the player for sure.

Mighty big sword. Compensating for something, sir?
Mighty big sword. Compensating for something, sir?

The second boss is the Demon Warlock. The bosses definitely look nasty but they’re all essentially the same. Time to power up!

WORLD THREE: CRAZY CARIBBEAN

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Thanks GamePro. But seriously, don't
Thanks, GamePro. But seriously, don’t
Rolling barrels will smash into walls, or worse, you
Rolling barrels will smash into walls, or worse, you
Poor Julie. Caught in the JAWS of life [You're fired -Ed.]
Poor Julie. Caught in the jaws of life [You’re fired -Ed.]
If you have the red potion on ya then you can...
If you have the red potion then you can…
I miss the beast from the first one but this is cool too
I miss the beast from the first one but this is cool too

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I think Death skipped Kindergarten... He's great at ripping walls, though
I think Death skipped Kindergarten…
He’s great at busting walls, though!
Use the blue potion to be invincible. Shoot. Repeat
Use the blue potion to be invincible. Shoot. Repeat

WORLD FOUR: MEDIEVAL MADNESS

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Show off your new found jumping skills
Show off your new found jumping skills

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The Castle World cranks up the difficulty quite a bit
The Castle World cranks up the difficulty quite a bit
Quite possibly the prison from hell
Quite possibly the prison from hell

A friend can join the fray. As a one player game, I find Ghoul Patrol more manageable than Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Not saying I like the “sequel” better but the enemies aren’t as ruthless at killing victims, so I actually get more game time out of the one player mode in Ghoul Patrol than I do in ZAMN. Two player mode is fun but it doesn’t hold a candle to two player ZAMN. And as you can see here, the later jumps in Ghoul Patrol get a bit ridiculous! It certainly put a damper on things as the jumps bring back haunting flashbacks of NES Double Dragon

OK maybe not as bad but still...
OK maybe not as bad but still…

After defeating Sir Raleigh MacSpirit, you’re off to the final world: Ghosts and Demons Land! It’s a world flowing with lava, Grim Reapers and that “funky Demon dude” that you’ve unleashed from an eternal slumber.

GAME OVER, MAN!

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Zombies Ate My Neighbors featured a purple slime sliding down the screen whenever you Game Over. It was supposed to be red for blood but Nintendo nixed that. Ghoul Patrol has a black slime rolling down. Hey, at least it kept to tradition somewhat.

It's not often that you get more than 3 characters!
Not often that you get more than three characters!
Passwords are thankfully only four characters long
Passwords are thankfully only four characters long

ZEKE’S BIG ADVENTURE

One of my favorite movies from the '80s
One of my favorite films from the ’80s

I instantly fell in love with Pee Wee’s Big Adventure when I first saw it back in the late ’80s. It’s a bit kooky to say the least — it’s got chills, thrills and plenty of cheap frills. In that way, it has a bit in common with Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Both have a good amount of charm and both are cult favorites. So why am I bringing up this old Tim Burton film, aside from my own sick perverse pleasures? Ghoul Patrol pays homage to the epic Pee-Wee movie! What, you don’t believe me? You say there was absolutely NOTHING from the game that in any way, shape or form gave a nod to the 1985 cult classic? LOOK AGAIN!

One of my favorite scenes from the film. Classic!
One of my favorite scenes from the film. Classic!
So ridiculous that it's awesome!
So ridiculous that it’s awesome

Zeke: “Please don’t kill me — WAIT! Don’t I get a last request?” *activates the jukebox*

Hmmm...
Hmmm…
Roaring laughter, hi-fives and FaceBook adds ensue
Roaring laughter, hi-fives and FaceBook adds ensue
This spooked me out so bad when I was five...
This spooked me out so bad when I was five…

Of course, the best scene hands down is the infamous Large Marge highway truck scene. It gave me the heebie-jeebies as a kid. I love Pee Wee’s comment “Some night huh?” as he boards the terror truck. The payoff came with this creepy shot. The proceeding diner scene sealed it as one for the ages. The whole “HER GHOSSST” line did me in. And the way the one guy said, “It was 10 years ago… ON A NIGHT JUST LIKE TONIGHT…”

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Not the scream Zombies Ate My Neighbors was
Not the scream Zombies Ate My Neighbors was

Ghoul Patrol, unlike Zombies Ate My Neighbors, didn’t grace any gaming magazine covers. Nor did it earn any “Game of the Month” honors. People weren’t singing its praises from the rooftops. Nevertheless, it didn’t do too badly in the presses. EGM gave it ratings of 7, 8, 8, 8 and 8. GameFan scored it 70, 78 and 79%. Super Play rated it 82%. I have yet to meet one person who prefers this game to its predecessor. It is objectively nowhere near as good or memorable.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

ZAMN fans deserved so much more
ZAMN fans deserved so much more

Some may say it’s a bit unfair to compare Ghoul Patrol to Zombies Ate My Neighbors but it goes with the territory. And as such, Ghoul Patrol falls short. It’s missing the camp, charm, frenetic sense of urgency, secrets and that inexplicable “Ooh, I can’t wait to see what’s next!” factor. Ghoul Patrol is instead played straight forward and seriously which just doesn’t work for me personally. That’s not to say it isn’t a decent game. I believe that it is. Viewed entirely on its own, it’s decent enough to provide a solid weekend or two of ghoul-blasting mayhem. Graphically, it fares better than Zombies Ate My Neighbors. The huge bosses are a sight for sore eyes and their level of detail go beyond anything you saw in the first game. Zombies Ate My Neighbors smokes Ghoul Patrol in every other area. But that’s not to say I didn’t have fun with Ghoul Patrol. I like the ability to run, jump and slide. Still a shame though that LucasArts didn’t implement a much needed lock or strafe feature, which the original game could have benefited greatly from having as well.

Ghoul Patrol jumped the shark [HAR HAR -Ed.]
Ghoul Patrol jumped the shark [HAR HAR -Ed.]
Speaking of missed opportunities, Zeke and Julie still don’t play any differently. To make matters even worse, control is less responsive than the first game. It almost feels like you’re caught in mud a bit. This causes some frustration as you’ll eat unnecessary damage from the quick ghouls and whatnot. Also, it was a poor design choice to make the run button the same as the shoot button. Yikes. Who thought that was a good idea? But hey, taken for what it is, Ghoul Patrol provides a decent two player zombie romp. It’s a bit more forgiving than the original, which was balls tough. The enemies here (for the most part) don’t chase down the victims you need to save and the victim count doesn’t drop for the next level. In other words, the game does not penalize you for lost victims. Trust me, I’m not complaining about that! It’s really not a bad game at all. Just don’t expect the camp, charm or playability of Zombies Ate My Neighbors and you’ll be fine. Like any decent movie or game sequel, Ghoul Patrol won’t win any awards but fans won’t exactly curse its existence as much as they will express a certain level of overall disappointment. But that doesn’t mean they still can’t enjoy it to some degree. And being that it’s Halloween season, Ghoul Patrol is a welcomed two player foray into the macabre. Sure you could just play ZAMN instead but variety is the spice of life, is it not?

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 6.5
Longevity: 6.5

Overall: 6.5

Missing from Ghoul Patrol but we'll always have ZAMN
Missing from Ghoul Patrol but we’ll always have this!

Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES)

Pub: Konami | Dev: LucasArts | September 1993 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Konami | Dev: LucasArts | September 1993 | 8 MEGS

Remember all those great late night horror movies? And how you stayed up to watch them even when your parents told you not to? Remember how you told yourself you wouldn’t look away? And how, when the scary music hit, inevitably you found yourself always cowering behind the family sofa? If you do, then this is the game for you! Relive all your favorite horror B-movies in Zombies Ate My Neighbors! Being that it’s October and Halloween season, I can’t think of many other SNES games I would rather reminisce about right now than this one. But has it stood the test of time nearly 25 years later? Let’s take a closer look…

A QUICK HISTORY LESSON

Before it became ZAMN, it was MONSTERS
Before it became ZAMN, it was MONSTERS

Originally titled MONSTERS, LucasArts flaunted its eclectic game at the Winter CES in January 1993. Incorporating elements from various gaming genres; run ‘n gun, action, adventure and puzzle to be specific, MONSTERS is a clever pastiche of all the horror movies you’ve ever seen, from the supernatural Hammer Film efforts to the timeless rubber-suited alien invasion shockers of the McCarthy-ite era. It borrows freely from such directors as George Romero, John Carpenter, Roger Corman and a host of others. Everything from the 1950s to the early 1990s…

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Now throw all of that into a two player game with a quiet American suburb as its backdrop and some kickass tunes. It was clear that LucasArts had one of the most memorable SNES efforts of 1993.

LucasArts needed a publisher and a title change...
LucasArts needed a publisher and a title change…

All they needed was a publisher. Konami was the winner when the dust settled, having acquired the rights to MONSTERS. Only now it was no longer to be known as such… thankfully it was rebranded as Zombies Ate My Neighbors. And the rest is history.

DO THE MONSTER MASH

The monster BIBLE of our childhood
The monster BIBLE of our childhood

Growing up, my best friend Nelson and I loved (and I mean LOVED) monsters. In the early 1990s my dad bought this monster book for me at Suncoast of all places. I fondly remember spending that entire evening flipping through the book with my best pal, Nelson. We loved those campy old Godzilla flicks, we loved horror movies (the Halloween series in particular) and we drove people nuts with our constant monster chatter. We believed in ghosts, aliens, Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster. Hell, we even did Bloody Mary one time. So when we saw magazines such as EGM and GameFan previewing Zombies Ate My Neighbors in the late summer of 1993, it was as if the game was made specifically for Nelson and me. It was on an idyllic Saturday in September of ’93 that I rented and brought home Zombies Ate My Neighbors. I immediately called Nelson and before I could even hang up the big guy had rode his bike over. This was big time. This was serious business. This was indeed a happening.

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Nearly 25 years later, I still remember the swirling title screen as if it happened only yesterday. It was cheesy, sure, but right away the game set the mood proper.

I was always Zeke. Sorry Nelson. My house, my rules!
I was always Zeke. Sorry Nelly. My house, my rules!

Zeke and Julie play exactly the same, which is a bit of a shame when you think about it. For example, Zeke could have been stronger (two extra energy bars) while Julie could have been slightly faster. Nonetheless, it’s a riot with two players and the game almost has to be experienced in this way.

A LOOK AT SOME OF THE 55 LEVELS

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The game opens with 10 neighbors to rescue
The game opens with 10 neighbors to rescue
Boy, if I could just take this fork and... [Zeke! -Ed.]
Boy, if I could just take this fork and… [Zeke! -Ed.]
Toggle the map on and off with the shoulder buttons
Toggle the map on / off with the shoulder buttons
Continue exploring or head for the exit
Continue exploring or head for the exit
Starts out easy... gets absolutely brutal later on
Starts out easy… gets absolutely brutal later on

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"C'mon man! How intriguing could zombie shit be? "
“C’mon man! How intriguing could zombie shit be?”
What goes up...
What goes up…
... must be saved
… must be saved
Missed opportunity at black cats jumping out...
Missed opportunity at black cats jumping out!
Keys, hostages, perhaps your local strip bar...
Keys, hostages, perhaps your local strip bar…

[Did Michael Myers show up here or what? -Ed.]
[Did Michael Myers show up here or what? -Ed.]
[Clever AMHAIN bit. OK, you're re-hired -Ed.]
[Clever AMHAIN bit. OK, you’re re-hired -Ed.]

Doh! Hate when that shit happens
D’oh! Hate when that shit happens

[Whats my mother-in-law doing here?!?! -Ed.]
[What’s my mother-in-law doing here?!?! -Ed.]
[Oh its just a zombie. THANK GOD -Ed.]
[Oh whew, it’s just a zombie. THANK GOD -Ed.]

Thriller... one of the true classics from the 80s
Thriller… one of the true classics from the ’80s
Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go
Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go

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This remind you of anything? It should...
This remind you of anything? It should…
Well, if you were a child of the 80s, anyway
Well, if you were a child of the ’80s, anyway

Zombies Ate My Neighbors is filled with nods to classic horror movie icons, such as Chucky from Child’s Play. A supernatural horror movie, Child’s Play follows the exploits of the “Lakeshore Strangler,” Charles Lee Ray. Moments before croaking in a toy store, Charles Lee Ray does a demonic ritual to transfer his soul into one of the “Good Guys” dolls.

ADE DUE DAMBALLA...
ADE DUE DAMBALLA…

It was good campy fun that frightened the shit out of the five year old me back in 1988! Coming up on 30 years? GAWD DAMN!

Happy almost 30th, Chucky!
Happy almost 30th, Chucky!

On a side note, the Child’s Play franchise continues to this very day. The latest entry in the series, Cult of Chucky, is released officially on October 20, 2017. I’ve seen it and found it to be only OK, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless to see the old Chuckster still kicking and screaming nearly 30 years after his initial appearance.

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This shit creeped me out as a kid!
This shit creeped me out as a kid!

The Zuni Warrior doll first appeared in Trilogy of Terror, which aired on ABC in 1975. A sequel was made nearly 20 years later. Trilogy of Terror II aired on October 30, 1996. I remember staying up to watch it. The little guy even graced the cover of TV Guide that week. Possessing the spirit of a Zuni Warrior, he springs to life to kill if the gold chain adorning his neck ever comes off. Lots of camp value and a true guilty pleasure on a stormy night!

He deserves a comeback!
He deserves a comeback!
Tommy does Chucky proud!
Chucky would be proud

Tommy the Evil Doll, in another nod to Chucky, may give chase even after death! Remember the apartment finale from the first film? Or the factory finale in the sequel? Cinematic masterpieces! Er, maybe not, but you really oughta watch them if you haven’t already, if nothing else but to appreciate ZAMN even that much more.

ChuckyBurn

They don't make 'em like they used to
They don’t make ‘em like they used to

[No sir, they don't -Ed.]
[No sir, they don’t -Ed.]
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Loads of campy fun :)
Loads of campy fun :D

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This stage legitimately spooked me as a kid
This stage legitimately spooked me as a kid
Nelson's MASKED MANIAC come to life!
Nelson’s MASKED MANIAC come to life!

Back in the early ’90s, Nelson told me a story that resonated with me so deeply I’m crazy enough to retell it on a Super Nintendo gaming blog a quarter of a century later. In our old hometown, according to Nelson you see, there was a maniac on the loose. On the prowl. Believed to be… at large. Again, according to Nelson, mind you. This maniac wore a white hockey mask and wielded a deadly chainsaw. He was… THE MASKED MANIAC. Of course, I knew Nelson was just bullshitting, but there was a small part of my nine year old being that latched on to the story. The Masked Maniac became our little inside joke over the years, and these days whenever it gets brought up, we still laugh about those good old days… to be young again, eh? Anyway, so imagine our shock (and delight) when we first came face to face with Stanley Decker. HOLY CRAP!

But of course it was a combo of Jason Voorhees...
But of course it was a combo of Jason Voorhees…
... and Leatherface. Same thing Nelson did!
… and Leatherface. Same thing Nelson did!

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THE MASKED MANIAC, ER, I MEAN, STANLEY DECKER!
THE MASKED MANIAC, ER, I MEAN, STANLEY DECKER!

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Chainsaw Hedgemaze Mayhem legitimately spooked me as a 10 year old kid playing this back in late 1993. Wherever you go, Decker pursues you relentlessly. And not just one but several. The first time I saw one cutting through the hedgemaze I nearly crapped my pants. Very few levels have ever made me feel as tense as this one did, especially back in those olden days.

Who will get to the baby first? I can't watch...
Who will get to the baby first? I can’t watch…

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Thank God you can't hit each other in co-op mode
Thank God you can’t hit each other in co-op mode

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Stalked wherever you go. The AI was absolutely relentless, like ants on sugar.

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Killer man-eating plants and debris nearby? Call upon the ever handy weed whacker. Just a shame it uses up “ammo” so fast. Rescue the cheerleader down there before they can get to her.

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Pyramid scheme? More like pyramid scare! Am I right? Sorry, I’ll see myself out.

Check behind
Check behind
Ta-da!
Ta-da!

I always got a kick out of seeing what lies behind those clumps of dirt. Sometimes you get something good, other times not so much. This is also the first level that takes you outside your suburb. It’s good to see the variety. Expect to see a lot more.

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Shout out if you remember this too
Shout out if you remember this too

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That Zeke boy, I tell ya, such a photogenic lad
That Zeke boy, I tells ya, such a photogenic lad

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Many terrors await. You'll hafta find out for yourself...
Many terrors await. You’ll hafta find out for yourself

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[Something tells me we would get along, Dr. Tongue -Ed.]

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Redefines the saying "big crybaby" eh?
Redefines the saying big crybaby eh?

One of the most memorable villains in 16-bit history, this baby is nothing but bad news. He’s double tough, fast and annoying as hell. Forget about using your water gun here. Even the almighty Bazooka doesn’t work well — it’s just too damn slow. No, the best way to handle this gigantic goober is by…

... turning into a monster yourself!
… turning into a monster yourself!

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Denied! Sorry pal, you need to locate the Skull Key first
Denied! Sorry pal, you need to find the Skull Key first

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Somehow, Zeke manages to rip off one last shot from his bazooka cannon in this life or death tussle.

Whoa baby! No pun intended...
Whoa baby! No pun intended…
Sure, "easy stuff" alright
Sure, “easy stuff” alright

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Watch out for them jelly blobs, Julie
Watch out for them jelly blobs, Julie

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Relax, Snoop. Your stash is safe. Fo shizzle. [Don’t EVER say that again -Ed.]

The most outrageous musical comedy in years
The ’80s produced some of the craziest shit, eh?

Do you remember watching this film in the mid-late ’80s? I do. The plant gave me the creeps. The shit the ’80s got away with!

The stuff nightmares are made of
The stuff nightmares are made of
Speaking of NIGHTMARES...
Speaking of NIGHTMARES…

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Doctor Tongue, you’ve got it all wrong. Pimpin’ ain’t easy.

More madness from the 80s!
More madness from the ’80s!

Interesting flick, this one. I remember watching it on TV in the late ’80s. They were hyping the national broadcast debut of the film on the TGIF lineup during the commercials. Years later, around 1997 to be precise, I was introduced to the wonders of the internet. There I poked around for the title of this film as it had slipped my consciousness over the years. All I remembered was there being red, yellow and blue alien-like monkey creatures and some pool scene. Bless the internet — 23 minutes later my memory was validated. I knew I hadn’t gone bonkers (yet), and I dropped by the local rental store to relive a blast from the past. Er, let me just say some things are better left in the past!

Shit was bizarre even for the 80s, and creepy!
Shit was bizarre even for the ’80s, and creepy

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Nothing like exiting just in the nick of time
Nothing like exiting just in the nick of time

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Terrifying to the bone? I don’t know, Doc, have you ever seen teenage girls at the mall before? It’s more like their play pen…

The 80s strike yet again
The ’80s strike yet again
SHOP TIL YA DROP...
SHOP TIL YA DROP…

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What’s worse than facing Tommy or Decker? Facing them both at the SAME time. It makes for some tense moments and as a kid it was the closest thing to a dream (nightmare?) Child’s Play-Friday the 13th crossover as you were gonna get!

I need a change of underpants...
I need a change of underpants…

ZAMN95

They been dateless for 500 years. Can ya blame them?
They been dateless for 500 years. Can ya blame ‘em?

ZAMN97

Disappointed I didnt see any of these guys!
Disappointed I didn’t see any of these guys!
Spoiler: probably not
Spoiler: probably not

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[Sounds like an exciting Saturday night -Ed.]

So creepy!
So creepy…
Run, bitch!
Run, bitch!
Wheres a giant magnifying glass when ya need one?!
Where’s a giant magnifying glass when ya need one
Of course, a bazooka will do, too
Of course, a bazooka will do, too

ZAMN104

Must be one of them "9 to eternity" jobs
Must be one of them “9 to eternity” jobs

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I reckon not
I reckon not
I reckon so
I reckon so

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Another classic from the 80s
Another classic from the ’80s

Too bad we don’t get a Freddy Krueger-inspired monster, though.

But hey, we got this. So yay?
But hey, we got this. So yay?

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Good shit came out in the 90s as well!
Good shit came out in the ’90s as well!

TREMORS was a fun little horror comedy monster film that ushered in 1990 with a bang. The movie centered around a small Nevada town being hunted by a group of large burrowing man-eating monsters dubbed “Graboids.”

[Looks like my mother-in-law in the morning -Ed.]
[Looks like my mother-in-law in the morning -Ed.]
Tremors developed quite a cult following for its simple, easy-to-get-into premise and memorable characters. It spawned several sequels, but the original will always be #1 and fondly remembered by B-Movie fans everywhere. For what it’s worth, Tremors currently has a very respectable 7.1 rating on IMDB. Besides, it’s got Kevin Bacon. And if there’s one thing everyone can agree on: you can never go wrong with a little bacon.

And heres a "Snakeoid" in action. No relation, obviously
Here’s a Snakeoid in action. No relation, obviously
*GULP* You know where it is...
*GULP*  You know where it is…

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Gawd damn, wheres Godzilla when ya need him?
Gawd damn, where’s Godzilla when ya need him?!
Its up to Zeke now
It’s up to Zeke now

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Zombies Ate My Neighbors was almost meta at times and it was one of the earliest games that I can remember feeling like it broke the 4th wall…

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It that you, Dr. Tongue? *transmission cuts out*
It that you, Dr. Tongue? *transmission cuts out*

GAME OVER, MAN!

One of the best game over screens around
One of the best game over screens around

I loved (and hated) the way the purple ooze would slowly drip down your TV screen each time you bit the dust. Of course it couldn’t be red…

PAYING MORE HOMAGE

It was all part of the fun
It was all part of the fun

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It was clever, it was neat, and at the time it was a breath of fresh air. It never took itself too seriously and it was fun with a capital F. Just making it to the next level just to read the next zany title was all part of the game’s charm. And seeing with your friends who got the various references and who didn’t. The ones who didn’t were unmercifully mocked, naturally. Good times.

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE LEVEL

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With over 50 levels, you have no shortage in choice. I absolutely adore this stage. Nothing beats the rush of dodging, weaving and outwitting Stanley Decker and friends, all set in a giant crate factory warehouse. This level feels like the grand finale of a horror film — except this time you get to decide how it all plays out!

Looking sharp there, Zeke
Looking sharp there, Zeke
A key AND Skull Key? Something must be up...
A key AND Skull Key? Something must be up…
"OUTTA MY WAY, BITCHES!"
“OUTTA MY WAY, BITCHES!”
Deploy Pennywise the decoy when in a pinch
Deploy Pennywise the decoy when in a pinch
If these walls could talk, they wouldnt. Theyre dead
Jeez, not even walls are safe!
Yikes! If this isnt survival horror, I dont know what is
If this isn’t survival horror, I don’t know what is
I call this simply, "Deer In A Headlight"
I call this simply, “Deer In A Headlight”
Credit Pennywise for the assist. Now grab that key!
Credit Pennywise for the assist. Now grab that key!
The tension, THE DRAMA...
The tension, THE DRAMA
Um, I hope you didnt bet on Zeke
Um, I hope you didn’t bet on Zeke
WTF!
Whoa…

Upon further review it’s clear why Decker is so effective. Is it his raw, brute strength? No. Is it his sharp, loud chainsaw? No. Is it his deadly ass crack? Most definitely. It’ll get ya every single damn time.

TIPS

This is not an easy game by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, due to a high potential shortage of weapons and neighbors to rescue, the later levels can be downright BRUTAL. So then, some tips for ya…

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  • Keep an eye out for suspicious looking shrubbery. If you spot a hedge facing out of the screen, try firing your Bazooka. Chances are you’ll find a handy item for your troubles. Likewise, the grilled windows in the malls can be blasted to bits. You can see whether there’s anything of worth behind windows. Be thankful for small favors!
  • If enemies get to the neighbors before you can — sometimes you’ll just hear a nearby scream indicating a neighbor’s demise off screen — then you need to try a different route. Perhaps one that may even take you through walls and over rooftops… hint hint.
  • Speaking of the neighbors, the more points you earn the more bonus neighbors you’ll rack up. If you already have 10 neighbors, you’ll get an extra life instead!

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  • It doesn’t take much to kill the Martians but they are agile bastards. They also shoot fast and if nailed, you (or the neighbors) will be imprisoned in a bubble. Plus, Martians tend to hang out in packs which makes them 10 times as worse. Keep your guard up and keep moving!

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  • One tip that really helps with Martians is shooting them at an angle. This eliminates the chance of their bubble gun damaging you (their shot only goes straight). Keep in mind though, you have to be running about in order to shoot from an angle. This game really could have used a strafe and lock button.

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  • The same strategy applies for zombies. You’ll find them clawing their way up from the ground beneath your feet if you remain idle for even just a few seconds.
  • Check under giant plants for any additional items (usually keys). It’s very easy to miss them. To check, of course, means to kill these plants.
  • Some weapons, like fizzy cans and tomatoes, can be thrown over walls and other obstacles. Over the counter, through windows, over desktops, etc. This lets you eliminate foes from a position of relative safety before dashing in, or in some cases dashing out.

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  • These tiny spiders are easy to kill but sometimes hard to spot. The surroundings may obscure their position so tread carefully. And always keep in mind that every second wasted could mean the life of one of your bratty neighbors!

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  • Thanks to their agility, spiders are a major pain in the butt when you’re busy battling the bigger baddies! Be weary of spiders swooping in like vultures to sap your precious health.
  • Don’t waste your time looking for weapons until you’ve saved all the neighbors. Try using a pair of Speed Sneakers at the start of a new level to bomb around the stage and rescue the victims before the monsters can get to them.
Credit to Thanwe from spriters-resource.com
Credit to Thanwe from spriters-resource.com
  • Use the landscape to outrun pursuers. Being chased and have to cycle through your inventory to find the right weapon? You’ll need all the time you can buy. So duck into houses, nip through gaps and generally weave about to make life tougher for the incoming undead.
  • As long as you have one neighbor to save, the game goes on. However, for each neighbor lost, the neighbor count on the next level goes down a notch. Having only one to rescue becomes impossible in the later stages.

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  • The inflatable clown decoys come in very handy but only work on some of the dumber monsters.
"ZAMN" right they are [D'oh -Ed.]
“ZAMN” right they are [D’oh. Really?? -Ed.]
  • A slime blob attached to your head eats up three health points. Be sure to use the medi-kit (if you have one) when you get down to your last three energy bars in any area that has been compromised by slime blobs.

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  • There are bonus levels galore! Can you find them all? Day of the Tentacle, f’rinstance? Can you reach MARS NEEDS CHEERLEADERS with the full complement of 10 neighbors? Also, look for bonus ?-boxes throughout the game. Can you find the son of Dr. Tongue?
  • Save your monster potions for bosses or really hairy situations.
Extra challenges for the weekend warrior
Extra challenges for the weekend warrior

GAME GENIE CHEATS

While the game provides you with a password every fourth level, it’s still a damn tough cookie. These cheats may come in handy if you just want to mess around:

Unlimited lives: 82AA-CF07
Unlimited health: 3C20-4D0D
Unlimited weapons: DD30-1FA7
Unlimited special items: DD39-34D4

WEAPON KILL CHART

Water Gun

Your starting weapon. Refills are easy to find. Works well against low-tier baddies but against tougher ones… well, you know the drill.

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: No effect
Mushroom Men: 2
Mummies: 5
Werewolves: 11
Decker: 16
Tommy: 5
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 5
Ants: 5
Little Spiders: 1

Bazooka

Usually found near the soldier neighbor. Pretty much the BFG of ZAMN!

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 1
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 1
Werewolves: 1
Decker: 1
Tommy: No effect — they duck!
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 1
Ants: 1
Little Spiders: 1

Soda Cans

Great for tossing over barriers from a safe distance. Think of them as hand grenades, really.

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 5
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 1
Werewolves: 2
Decker: 4
Tommy: 1
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 1
Ants: 2
Little Spiders: 1

Ice Pops

Sorta like soda cans but not as effective (except on jelly blobs)

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 13
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 3
Werewolves: 6
Decker: 8
Tommy: 2
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 3
Ants: 5
Little Spiders: 1

Plates

Honestly, they’re pretty useless despite being long-ranged. Unless you have no other weapons…

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 9
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 2
Werewolves: 4
Decker: 6
Tommy: 2
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 2
Ants: 4
Little Spiders: 1

Silverware (Knife and Fork)

Works great on werewolves…

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 7
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 2
Werewolves: 1
Decker: 4
Tommy: 1
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 1
Ants: 3
Little Spiders: 1

Ancient Artifact

This talisman produces a fire that encircles and protects you, destroying the monsters it touches. Hold down for sustained use. Great on werewolves and everyone, really, but it eats up ammo fast.

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 2
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 1
Werewolves: 1
Decker: 4
Tommy: 1
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 1
Ants: 1
Little Spiders: 1

Football

Utterly useless including a slow release. However, it works extremely well against the Football enemies.

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 25!
Mushroom Men: 2
Mummies: 5
Werewolves: 11
Decker: 20!
Tommy: 4
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 5
Ants: 10
Little Spiders: 1

Tomatoes

Another long-range weapon that’s honestly a bit meh. Martians hate them, though…

Zombies: 1
Clones: 1
Plants: 13
Mushroom Men: 1
Mummies: 3
Werewolves: 6
Decker: 8
Tommy: 2
Martians: 1
Squid Men: 5
Ants: 5
Little Spiders: 1

Weed-eater

Mows down deadly ground debris as well as the monsters. Particularly effective against plants, werewolves and spiders

Fire Extinguisher

Freezes baddies temporarily. But can kill Jelly Blobs.

Martian Bubble Gun

Captures enemy in a bubble. Try it on ants…

ALTERNATIVE TITLES

Monsters!
Grave Consequences
Zombie Invade Suburbia
Zombies Need BBQ Sauce
Suburban Zombie Bake-Off
Don’t Build That Mall Here!
Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun
Please Don’t Feed the Zombies!

My Zombie, Make BIG Mistake
The Zombies Wrong Turn At Alpha 6
Michael Barone and the Zombie Hunters
Return of the Teenage Son of the Bride of a Zombie, Part 2

ALTERNATIVE BOX ART

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I much prefer this to the one we got. Needs some Julie, though.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

High praise indeed
High praise indeed

Zombies Ate My Neighbors turned out to be one of the most notable 16-bit games released in 1993. The critics ate it up. For its time especially, it was considered a work of art. Brilliant, ingenious and a tribute to all B-Movie horror fans everywhere. After all, when Anita Placetohide endorses your game, it simply doesn’t get any better than that.

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I still vividly remember the GameFan issue with the Zombies Ate My Neighbors cover. Zombies, killer dolls, chainsaw wielding masked maniacs and titanic toddlers — what’s not to love? LucasArts had a mega hit on their hands. EGM rewarded it with “Game of the Month” honors, doling out scores of 9, 9, 9 and 9. GameFan scored it 88, 89, 90 and 93%. Super Play rated it 89%. Konami was wise to slap their name to this product. Even to this day, some people still confuse Konami as the developers to ZAMN. Hell, look at the GameFan cover above. But I see you, LucasArts. I see you…

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CLOSING THOUGHTS

"But Susie, we're JUST DYING to meet you!"
“But Susie, we’re JUST DYING to meet you!”

I have to admit, Zombies Ate My Neighbors strikes an incredibly nostalgic chord with me. I remember spending countless evenings playing it with my best friend, Nelson, all throughout the fall of 1993. If you were a fly on the wall back then you would hear our hooting, hollering and cries of joy and agony as the game punished us as much as it rewarded us for our perseverance. ZAMN is a veritable melting pot of all those great (and not-so-great) B-Movies, low budget affairs and rubber-suited cheesy flicks we grew up on as kids. I think back to that fall of ’93 very fondly. Nelson and I were huddled around my 27 inch Sony TV monitor blasting Martians, mummies and mushroom men back to the stone age. All those sinister bedraggled figures shambling towards us through the half-lit haze… there’s something beautiful about it. Intensely atmospheric, ZAMN does a great job of sucking you in and may well provide for some sleepless nights…

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The sheer joy of popping a zombie’s melon with a salad fork, or saving the teacher right before ole Tommy boy can chop her to pieces, is a great feeling. On the other hand, the pain of Frankenstein’s electric personality, or thinking you’re in the clear to rescue that cheerleader right as Decker comes out of NOWHERE, is absolutely crushing. There are so many mood swings one will encounter while playing through any given level in this game, and that is something that cannot be said for many games to the degree in which ZAMN pulls it off. You’ll go through the ups and downs, the peaks and valleys. You almost feel like you’re Zeke yourself, right down to the geeky 3D shades and Punisher t-shirt. OK, maybe just me then. But there’s no doubt ZAMN becomes super bloody fun when playing alongside a like-minded friend.

Cycling weapons sucks...
Cycling weapons sucks…

It’s not perfect, though. The weapons, while there are plenty to pick from, are excessive. Too many of them feel a bit useless and only clog up the inventory. The silverware serves its purpose against the werewolf but the football, plates and tomatoes seem like a waste. It wouldn’t be that bad if cycling through weapons were implemented better. Sadly, you can only switch weapons with button B which means there’s no backtracking through your weapon inventory. Miss the weapon you want by one? Sorry, you’re out of luck. There’s no way to backtrack — you have to cycle through your inventory another time. And no, you can’t pause the game to cycle through your many weapons. I mean, do we really need both L AND R to toggle off the map? A missed opportunity there. It sucks running away trying to get to the right weapon because of some thoughtlessness on the part of the programmers, but maybe that’s just me being nit-picky. A strafe or lock button also would have been nice. As great as this game already is, these features would have made it (in my opinion) one of the top 20 SNES games of all time. You can’t help but feel it’s not QUITE as polished as it could have been.

Each level is packed with atmosphere and great music
Each level is packed with atmosphere + great music

Thankfully, that’s pretty much where my complaints ceases. ZAMN has incredible atmosphere, it’s great at being a pick-up-and-play game, and the tunes are simply awesome. The music ranges from a carnival atmosphere to haunted houses and ancient Egypt all depending on the level you’re currently on. It’s eclectic and highly memorable. Some of the music and sound effects are firmly embedded in my soul even nearly 25 years on.

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And who could ever forget that monster cast? Although it makes me long for even more, the enemies here are among some of the most memorable in 16-bit history. It’s a marvel to see some of those giant monsters muck about with zero slowdown in sight. The giant spider and titanic toddler in particular are a real doozy to behold!

And you thought your baby was a monster...
And you thought your baby was a monster…

Other than weapon cycling and a lack of strafe/lock option, there’s another way ZAMN could have been enhanced. I wished there were extra modes of play. Imagine if each stage had an exit and it played just like Doom. Saved no neighbors? No bonus points but you still can advance to the next level. The other option would be to kill every monster in a level in order for the exit to appear. This mode would be for the macho action heads out there, or when you’re simply in the mood to blow shit up without worrying about the neighbor count. Of course, that’s just me. The game gets difficult as nails and very unforgiving as you progress — I wished they toned it down a bit or like I said, gave you these extra modes to enjoy. But I digress.

Props to Liquid Night Shade for this epic art!
Props to Liquid Night Shade for this epic art!

It’s hard NOT to like Zombies Ate My Neighbors. The list of positives run high. It plays well and has a killer two player mode — ZAMN often appears on “Best Two Player SNES Games” list and rightfully so. It features tons of levels and secrets, a memorable cast of villains, terrific sound and a ghoulish atmosphere that will appeal to anyone who ever loved monsters… or still do. Sure it’s not without its flaws but there’s a reason why Zombies Ate My Neighbors is considered a classic and a staple of the vast SNES library. While I admit it has aged perhaps not as perfectly well as I would have liked, it’s still a top-notch effort and one of those games that truly brings out the 10 year old in me still to this day.

Graphics: 7.5
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 7.5

Award4Overall: 9.0
Gold Award

 

Meta before meta was cool!
Meta before meta was cool!
Somewhere, Chris Tucker is smiling
Somewhere, Chris Tucker is smiling

Oh and speaking of ZAMN 2, or Ghoul Patrol, proceed at your own risk. It’s actually not that bad but as far as “spiritual sequels” go, it should have been a lot better. Oh well… at least we’ll always have Zombies Ate My Neighbors