Oscar (SNES)

Pub: Titus | Dev: Flair | October 1996 | 4 MEGS
Pub: Titus | Dev: Flair | October 1996 | 4 MEGS

This Sunday, February 26, 2017, marks the 88th Oscars. Yup, the Oscars have been around since 1929. With that in mind, there’s no better time than now to look at a rather obscure Super Nintendo platformer by the name of… Oscar. It’s a game you might not have heard of before or even knew that it ever came out on the SNES. Released during the “final winter” of the system’s life in North America, Oscar arrived with zero fanfare. If you stuck it out with your SNES in 1996 and walked into a game store that December, you definitely weren’t buying Oscar over Donkey Kong Country 3. So it’s no surprise that Oscar was left to reside in obscure pastures. Here at RVGFanatic I pride myself in reviewing not only the masterpieces of the SNES library but the lesser known games as well. Sometimes you never know when you might hit upon a gem. Oscar most definitely isn’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s devoid of any merit. Let’s take a closer look…

THE FINAL FOUR THREE

January 17, 2006. On that fateful day I became a “born again” SNES fan. Having burned out on the Sega Saturn, and shockingly listless toward gaming in general, there was but one flame left flickering in the darkness: Nintendo’s 16-bit wonder. All my childhood favorites. All the classic games I missed out on. And all the funky little games I’d always been curious about but never got to play. Six months later I amassed all the SNES games I ever wanted — 397 to be precise. There were now only three more games remaining on my want list: Harvest Moon, Mr. Do! and Oscar.

From my game log. July 13, 2006
From my game log. July 13, 2006

As fate would have it, a reputable member at a gaming forum I frequented was going through a quarter-life crisis. He decided to sell his entire game collection. He listed Oscar on eBay with a starting price of 99 cents — the first copy I had ever seen for sell. I didn’t want to chance it, knowing the other board members would be interested and watching it, so I reached out to him and offered to take it off his hands for $12. He agreed, and the rest is history. Thanks Chris. I hope you and your wife are doing well :)

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind to a cold night in December of 1996 when Oscar first caught my eye…

WINTER 1996

16-Bit's Final Stand -- a memorable 16-bit finale
16-BIT’S LAST STAND – a memorable 16-bit finale

My brother was subscribed to EGM in ’96. I will always consider 1994 as the very peak of EGM, but 1996 wasn’t bad in its own right. Of course by ’96 my brother was heavily into the PlayStation and N64. I was too, but to a lesser degree. And unlike my brother, I still cared about my old 16-bit friend, the Super Nintendo, which provided me with so many rich gaming memories over the years. The SNES coverage in EGM was minuscule by ’96 to say the least. And by late ’96? Nearly non-existent. Wasn’t EGM’s fault, of course. After all, you can’t really cover what ISN’T there. And you can’t blame the game companies for jumping ship to a 32-bit market that had become much more viable. It’s Darwin’s theory…

Still, I scoured the back pages of each EGM issue that year in the hopes of catching a glimpse of my dear old friend. To see how he’s enduring in his final days. A bit morbid, yes, and quite possibly a bit lame, but hey, I was 13 and clinging onto an old friend I wasn’t ready to quite yet let go.

But in that glorious December holiday issue of ’96, I needn’t look to the back pages. For right in the middle of the magazine boasted a mouth-watering 16-bit special for those few remaining super loyal 16-bit fans.

I must have read this feature article 100 times!
I must have read this feature article 100 times over!

I’ll never forget this amazing piece. It was one of EGM’s best that year; the article even had a retro feel in the way that they used the colors and fonts. It was fitting. With this article EGM made my beloved old friend’s rite of passage into the afterlife a little easier to bear. It was my friend’s final “big” winter.

And as I sat there reading the article by a crackling fire (or not), a handful of games caught my eye. These games made me think, “I know this game probably won’t be great or anything but damn if they don’t look kind of fun and interesting!” … in a very non groundbreaking 1993 sort of way, mind you. But sometimes, that nostalgic simplicity is exactly what you crave, especially in a generation where games were becoming increasingly more complex.

And of course, Oscar was one of them [I didn’t see that one coming -Ed.]

I know it's sad but I read this little blurb like 50 times
I know it’s sad but I read this little blurb like 50 times
The game cast a weird spell over me. It looked alright...
Oscar cast a weird spell over me. It looked intriguing

What a blast from the past, I thought, staring at the little Oscar screenshots. It looked exactly like one of the hundreds of “me too” mascot platformers that saturated the SNES back in 1993. It was a comforting sight, and there was something about Oscar that spoke to my gaming soul that cold December night of 1996. Running from movie to movie just like my friends and I used to, I was intrigued by the idea of visiting different themed sets. It gave off the vibe that Oscar could be a fun little diverse platformer. I also remember vividly thinking that hat Oscar was wearing was one of those “pajama hats.” Like Scrooge McDuck from Mickey’s Christmas Carol. So I deducted then and there that Oscar was not only an aspiring thespian, but that he was also an insomniac. Wow, I was weird… [Was? Eh? *poke* -Ed.]

Doesn't Oscar look like he's wearing one of those? :P
Doesn’t Oscar look like he’s wearing one of those?  :P
1993-esque? Well, it did come out originally in '93...
1993-esque? Well, it did come out originally in ’93…

Oscar began its life on the Amiga and MS-DOS in 1993. It was rather obscure, and certainly not a gem in the least, so you wonder why, from a financial point of view, Flair decided to port it over to the SNES in late ’96. I once read a rumor, just a rumor mind you, that Rampage: World Tour on the Sega Saturn only sold a lousy 600 copies. Always made me wonder how many copies SNES Oscar sold.

I can't wait for KONG: Skull Island next month!
I can’t wait for KONG: Skull Island next month

Nevertheless, Oscar left its imprint on me that winter evening of ’96, but I knew I probably would never play it. Nearly 10 years later, thanks to an old internet buddy leaving the retro gaming scene, I finally got my hands on Oscar. Surely a happy ending, right? Well…

NOT GONNA WIN ANY OSCARS…

Oscar4

Some SNES pundits and connoisseurs may be screaming right now, “1996 was not 16-bit’s final Christmas!” Hey, take it easy. Of course, a trickle (and I do mean a trickle) of games came out for the SNES in North America throughout ’97 and even as late as ’98, but ’96 undoubtedly marked the last “great” (and I use that term loosely) push for our beloved 16-bit systems.

I suddenly want a hot dog...
I suddenly want a hot dog…

Movie fiend Oscar finds himself at the local multiplex with four showings. Instead of watching from the comfort of his seat, the little guy jumps into the silver screen one by one to become the shining star of each movie! Each film has three scenes (i.e. stages) to conquer and you may select the films in any order you wish. Not only are the sets hazardous, but Oscar must perform his own stunts and there are no retakes. Can you survive the movie marathon madness?

The movie was crap...
The movie? It was crap

Kids these days. Obviously somebody missed the “no dumping” sign in the lobby.

"Let's all go to the lobby..."
“Let’s all go to the lobby…”

Let’s all go to the lobby
To get ourselves a treat.
Delicious things to eat.
The popcorn can’t be beat.
The sparkling drinks are just dandy.
The chocolate bars and nut candy.
So let’s all go to the lobby
To get ourselves a treat.

[I’ll be back in 5… -Ed.]

Even though the fat and cholesterol will clog your arteries, Oscar reminds us nothing completes the full movie experience like a jumbo bag of heart stopping extra buttery popcorn. Yum.

MOVIE SET #1

Running time 85 minutes. Rated PG
Running time 85 minutes. Rated PG

Oscar9

Right off the bat you can see that the visuals are poor even by 1993 standards (and mind you, it came out in October of 1996). Of course, visuals aren’t the end all be all, but just be aware this ain’t exactly eye candy we’re talking about here.

Initially, your only form of offense is the classic hop and bop. Control is a bit slippery and it suffers from a herky jerky camera that whips a bit too much when changing directions, but it’s not something you can’t overcome with a bit of practice. That little blue disc up top is a film canister. They contain points, power ups (even power downs but more on that later) and such.

"Hire me! I'm the man for the job, daddy-o!"
“Hire me! I’m the man for the job, daddy-o!”
Oscar is not amused
Oscar is not amused

The goal is to locate all the oscars scattered throughout each level. Some are out in plain sight while others, as you probably guessed, are a bit trickier to find.

Oscar will say “THANKS EVERYBODY!” each time you grab one. It’s an endearing sound effect that reminds me of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons“HI EVERYBODY!”

But don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself!

Pretty uncanny if I do say so myself!

Still not amused
Still not amused there, I see

Once all the oscars have been collected, locate the clapperboard to exit the level. Upon doing so, you’ll hear a strange and somewhat creepy voice scream, “AND CUT!” It’s always a little jarring, even when you know it’s coming…

Oscar13

[Speak for yourself! -Oscar]
[Speak for yourself, Rexy! -Oscar]
The yo-yo proves to be a sight for sore eyes
The yoyo proves to be a sight for sore eyes

Each stage houses a yoyo that’s hidden inside one of the film canisters. Finding it will make your life much easier as you no longer have to rely on the hop and bop to dispose of an enemy. But can you find the yoyo in each stage? Some are rather tricky…

The yoyo strikes horizontally
The yoyo strikes horizontally

The yoyo completely changes the dynamic of the game. Suddenly Oscar becomes an offensive force of nature. I kind of like how the first part of a level is approached with a more defensive mindset. But should you locate the yoyo, things suddenly switch to a more offensive plan of attack. It’s actually a bit refreshing because most platformers don’t offer such a 180 mid-level like this game does. Sure, you can always kill enemies by jumping on their heads, but due to the loose control and speed of the game this isn’t always recommended.

It also strikes diagonally
It also strikes diagonally

This comes in handy as you can knock off unsuspecting foes from different tiers! Talk about efficient and effective.

And vertically
Vertical, too

Last but not least, it can be flung upwards. As you can imagine, the yoyo makes this a much easier game. You can still complete the levels without the yoyo, but the floaty jumps and fast-moving baddies are difficult to time properly. The trick is finding the yoyo in each stage. Once found it’s yours to keep for that level. You start from scratch on each new stage. Sometimes the yoyo is hidden near the beginning. Other times you’ll have to claw and dig to find the damn thing. It’s just a shame that the yoyo does not operate as a grappler. A little Bionic Commando action would have really made this memorable, but alas it wasn’t meant to be.

Oscar has two components. The first, where you begin each stage without the yoyo, you’re erring more on the defensive side. But once you’ve found the yoyo, the second part of the game kicks in where suddenly you’re more aggressive. With the levels designed the way they are, I find this dynamic works pretty well.

Kevin Bacon (Hollow Man) rolling over in his grave!
Kevin Bacon (Hollow Man) rolling over in his grave!

In addition to the various power ups, there are also power downs or icons that can really hamper your chances for success. For instance, one icon when touched turns you invisible for a good 20 or 25 seconds. Invisible, but not invincible. This is super annoying as you’re likely to eat some damage if you try to move around during this time. Not very fun!

Oscar21

Oscar21b

Oscar21c

Watch yo step...
Watch yo step…

He’s a quick little bugger who picks up a lot of speed in no time flat. But you only have three hearts to work with, so avoid running unless you absolutely need to.

Indeed. Plus lots of goodies lurking under the surface
Indeed. Plus lots of goodies lurk under the surface
Wait, is that THE Bradley P. Richfield?
Wait, is that THE Bradley P. Richfield?

Oscar, a diehard fan of Jim Henson’s old family show “DINOSAURS” on TGIF, pays homage to Sherman Helmsley’s former character.

"SINCLAAAAAIR!!"
“SINCLAAAAAIR!!”

MOVIE SET #2

Running time: 91 minutes. Rated PG-13
Running time: 91 minutes. Rated PG-13
Invisible blocks? WOW!
Invisible blocks? WOW!
Actually, come to think of it, yeah, I kinda do
Actually, come to think of it, yeah, I kinda do
You can jump on the chainsaw and kill it. Er, yeah...
You can jump on the chainsaw and kill it. Er, yeah…

Flair Software failed to snag the rights to Leatherface, so they had to settle for just the chainsaw instead. Yes, true story.

Oscar30

Oscar might be a rodent but the dude is practically an amphibian. Unfortunately he finds himself cornered here. How do you pass the blocks?

Gotta love that yoyo
Gotta love that yoyo
Not just a baddie killer but a block destroyer too!
Not just a baddie killer but a block destroyer too!

Oscar33

Plenty of goods to be found underwater. The various icons match the theme and tone of each movie set. It’s a small touch I appreciate even though it doesn’t make a difference in the overall gameplay.

Oscar34

Yeah, and that spider's pretty ugly looking, too
Yeah, and that spider’s pretty ugly looking, too

Oscar36

Oscar37

Oscar39bBehold — the oddest feature from Oscar, or quite frankly perhaps any SNES platformer… the Game Boy icon! Truly bizarre but completely harmless, this imbues your TV screen with strangely familiar shades of pale green! The effect is temporary and good for a few laughs… although Oscar here does not find it particularly amusing one iota! It’s things like this that show off the game’s offbeat sense of humor, and reminds you not to take it so seriously. You kind of have to enter a certain mindset if you are to enjoy Oscar at all…

Oscar40Oscar40b

 

 

 

 

 

Endearing and quirky in its own unique way…

Such a fine cultured chap, that Oscar
Such a fine cultured chap, that Oscar
Whew... that was a close call!
Whew… that was a close call!

Oscar43Oscar43b

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm, now that I think of it, Oscar might very well be bipolar.

Oscar44

Each stage contains five letters hidden within the film canisters. These five letters spell out BONUS when all collected. If you can secure all five, at level’s end you’ll be transported to a bonus stage. From there collect all the goodies you can within the allotted time.

Icon overload in these bonus worlds
Icon overload in these bonus levels

MOVIE SET #3

Running time: 87 minutes. Rated G
Running time: 87 minutes. Rated G
Shots fired
Shots fired

Oscar49

Careful. These gnomes are real nimble suckers. They zip along like they’re skating on ice. As a result it’s real easy to lose a heart to these small bastards.

Blocked
Blocked
Unblocked. Love that yoyo
Unblocked. Love that yoyo

Oscar52

"C'mon Oscar, I showed you mine!"
“C’mon Oscar, I showed you mine!”
"Now it's your turn. Hey, get back here!"
“It’s your turn. Hey, get back here!”
"Didn't want to embarrass you but OK..."
*jaw drop*  “Damn, Oscar. DAMN”
Thankfully, only temporarily
Thankfully, only temporarily
Oscar: a bipolar bloke on acid
Oscar: a bipolar bloke on acid

The numerous icons scattered throughout serve as bonus points. More points equals more lives. It’s not uncommon for the screen to explode in an array of yellow stars. By the way, those weird face houses remind me somehow of The Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland.

Oscar58Oscar58b

 

 

 

 

 

Warning sign points to falling rocks but oddly, there are none. Huh.

Oscar59

That’s definitely no invincible Mario star power up! Make sure you have the yoyo before entering the murky waters. Though possible, it’s very tough to head-bop enemies here.

Platforming troupes #1-500 present here
Platforming tropes #1-500 are present here

Oscar61

It really does. With the yoyo in tow you become more of a hunter rather than the hunted. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy picking off walking dill pickles from high above?

Worms FTW
Team 17’s Worms franchise rocks

Oscar63

This is temporary, but a good icon to grab. It replaces the yoyo if you’re in possession of said item. Once it wears off, the yoyo returns.

Oscar64

Wings don’t come by often. When you find them it usually means there are oscars hiding in very high places nearby. Better grab them all before the power up wears off…

Oscar65Oscar65b

 

 

 

 

 

Platforming rule #487: there must be a falling bridge somewhere.

MOVIE SET #4

Running time: 101 minutes. Rated R
Running time: 101 minutes. Rated R
Earned that R rating!
Earned that R rating!
Watch yo step, Oscar...
Watch yo step, Oscar…

Oscar69

... Oscar stops at nothing to make it out of the wild west
Oscar stops at nothing to make it outta the wild west
The enemies here are hilariously wooden
The enemies here are hilariously wooden

Watch out for these gunslingers who have a tendency to hide in sneaky places and pop up out of nowhere.

That cheeky Oscar
That cheeky Oscar
Ai!
Ai!
... you can do it!
… you can do it!
Told 'cha it was R-rated...
Told ‘cha it was R-rated…
"15 oscars to go?!? Bloody hell"
“15 oscars to go?!? Bloody hell”
Oh stop it, Oscar. You prima donna, you
Oh stop it, Oscar. You prima donna, you

Oscar78Oscar78b

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously, Oscar might be gaming’s first bipolar protagonist…

"No button to make me hang myself... so quit it!"
“No button to make me hang myself… so quit it!”
I like the various set pieces found in the Western world
I like the various set pieces found in the wild west
The game sort of hits its "stride" in this world
The game sort of hits its “stride” in this world
Shield offers temporary invincibility
Shield offers temporary invincibility

Oscar83Oscar83b

 

 

 

 

 

“Hmmm, should I get a haircut at the barber? Or off to the bank first? On second thought, maybe I’ll just stare at some ass.”

"What, you again?! We gotta stop meeting like this!"
“What, you again?! We gotta stop meeting like this!”

“Well howdy, partna!”

“Quit it!”

“Quit what?”

“Saying that!”

“That?”

“ARGGGH!!!”

Oscar85

In one particular stage in the west, the BONUS letters lay conveniently next to one another. If you’re smart, you’ll take them one at a time.

But for the most fun, I dare ya to sprint through 'em
But for the most fun, I dare ya to sprint through ‘em

POST CREDITS

Oscar87

After all four movies are completed, that’s 12 stages in all for those counting at home, you’re done! No other worlds to conquer, no final big boss, nada. That’s it, you’re finished. All that’s left is heading over to the exit. It’s all rather a bit anticlimactic.

See you in the sequel... or not
See you in the sequel… or not

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Er, not much. EGM and GameFan were busy covering the 32-bit titles and didn’t bother to review it. Since Oscar arrived late in the Super Nintendo’s life, it was met with very little fanfare.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Oscar." "Oscar who?" "Oscar out already!"
“Knock knock.”  “Who’s there?”
“Oscar.”  “Um… Oscar who?”
“Oscar out already, damnit!”

One of the truly awesome things about this hobby is the ability to buy and play the games we missed out on back in the day. Whether the box art had you mesmerized, or that tiny half-page preview in a game magazine grabbed a certain hold of you — there’s always those games you never got to play but had always wanted to. Nearly 10 years after seeing Oscar in the vaunted pages of EGM, I was finally able to quell my curiosity of it. Truth be told, I was extremely let down. In fact, I even hated it upon initial play. A while later, after I adjusted my expectations, I gave the game a second chance. Going through all 12 stages in a little over an hour, I’ll be damned, Oscar grew on me. It isn’t a good game by a long shot. But it can be oddly enjoyable at times, especially after the yoyo is secured. There’s also something slightly endearing about the quirks — from Oscar himself to the level design, the game has a strange appeal in a way I can’t quite put my finger on. Oscar does suffer from loose control and a rather poor camera; at first you may suffer some motion sickness. But press on and you just might find some merit hidden within. I would not recommend it, however, unless you are a diehard SNES fanatic who loves his (or her) platform games as much as I do. There are far superior action games worth your time and exploration but I’ve played plenty worse than Oscar, that’s for damn sure.

Oscar likey!
Show Girls, huh? Oscar approves!

I particularly like how each level begins with a more defensive mindset, as jumping on baddies’ heads may leave you wide open if mistimed. You’ll find yourself desperately opening all the film canisters you can as quickly as you can, hoping to find that magical game changing yoyo. Once you do, it’s game on. In a flash you go from the hunted to the hunter. Maybe it’s just me, but that transformation in each stage is a pretty damn cool feeling.

Graphically it’s a bit disappointing. Although a ’93 game at heart, I expected much better visuals. The levels vary — there are some cool looking bits but some really odd color schemes as well. The baddies are poorly animated and rigid; they sometimes border on being lifeless. Not the kind of visual quality you’d expect from your Super Nintendo. The music is fairly lame, although I did somewhat enjoy the cartoon theme.

Easy, fella. Easy
Easy there, fella. Easy

The scrolling is a bit herky jerky to say the least. Oscar is a bit of a touchy fella. If you’ve played Bubsy, then you’ll know what I mean. The levels aren’t huge; you’ll search high and low for the missing oscars. It can feel a bit like playing hide-and-seek. There are no bosses at all, which is a bit lame but in hindsight given the erratic scrolling is probably a good thing. Still, zero bosses whatsoever certainly left me feeling a little bit hollow upon completion.

"Ooooh yeah..."
“Ooooh yeah…”

In the end, I’m glad I gave Oscar a second chance. It’s really not that bad. But it’s not going to make any top games list ever, either. And that’s OK. Not every game can be as epic as Super Mario World. Many simply serve as niche titles — games that you may consider buying and playing once the rest have been taken care of. Oscar has a weird atmosphere that may well grow on you as you work out the kinks. And if nothing else, stuff like the Game Boy gimmick and the Show Girls set piece will put a stupid little smile on your face. The game has some humor and I can appreciate that about it. Oscar is a perfect example of a guilty pleasure.

Graphics: 5
Sound: 4
Gameplay: 4.5
Longevity: 4

Overall: 4.5

"THANKS EVERYBODY!"
“THANKS EVERYBODY!”
And until next time, the balcony is closed
And until next time, the balcony is closed

Wolfchild (SNES)

Pub: Virgin | Dev: Core | June 1993 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Virgin | Dev: Core | June 1993 | 8 MEGS

The ’90s was a time fraught with platforming action titles. For every heralded classic, there were about 50 others ranging from bad to good. And many of those games got lost in a vastly overcrowded genre. It was the “me too” era where seemingly everybody and their brother were trying to cash in on the platforming craze. Enter Wolfchild. It’s a perfect example of a game that got lost in the shuffle back in the summer of 1993. It’s forgotten to time, but not to RVGFanatic. Today I am proud to add this game to my SNES review library. It’s not the best game by a long shot, but I always enjoy highlighting lesser known titlesu and this one fits that bill quite nicely. Also, in late 2014 I was able to interview Simon Phipps. He worked extensively on Wolfchild and dropped some excellent knowledge on the game which you can read at the bottom of this review.

THE “TAIL” OF THE TAPE

['Tail' of the tape? Oh boy we're off to a good start -Ed.]
[Tail of the tape? Oh boy we’re off to a good start… -Ed.]
I remember seeing the ad for Wolfchild in EGM back in the ’90s. It caught my eye as a game I wanted to play. But I never did. Fast forward some 12½ years to 2006. I grew nostalgic for all things SNES and wanted to buy all the games I ever loved as a kid as well as the ones that I wanted to play but never did. As I was building my want to buy list Wolfchild was one of those games that made me go “Oh yeah, this little game. Wolfchild… YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!

ShockedJericho

[You know what happens when you steal Chris Jericho’s gimmick? Huh?! Do ya? You wanna know what happens? I’ll tell ya what happens… Steve from RVGFanatic, YOU JUST MADE THE LIST! -Chris Jericho, probably]

"YOU STUPID IDIOT!" [I like this Chris Jericho guy -Ed.]
“YOU STUPID IDIOT!”  [I like this Chris Jericho guy -Ed.]
When Wolfchild came out there was essentially no press for the game. Well, at least in the pages of EGM and GameFan. But the ad looked cool, it had a neat title and the idea of playing as a werewolf never failed to resonate with a 10 year old kid. I bought it for dirt cheap in 2006 but like so many other games I bought it was another game on my huge to-play pile. I’d been meaning to play it but there always seemed to be another game more pressing to play. That was… until fate stepped in. One night in December 2008 I was browsing Hardcore Gaming 101. A topic about Wolfchild came up. In the previous months I actually had the strangest urge to finally try it out. I never did though, but it’s funny how these things work. You think of a game and not long thereafter, there’s a post or video about it. The HG101 topic  was the very inspiration I needed to bump the game to the top of my queue at long last: Wolfchild was next!

Thanks, HG101
HG101 is simply one of the best ever

In that topic the name of Simon Phipps came up. He’s the man behind Wolfchild. I sent him an email in 2008 asking him if he would be available for an interview about his game. He generously agreed. But then my life got busy and I never sent him my questions. For more than half a decade I’d meant to but just never did. Finally, in the summer of 2014 I emailed Simon to see if he was still around, and in the chance that he was, would he be game to finish a proposed interview some six years in the making. Remarkably, he was still at his hotmail account from 2008 and he was kind enough to follow through. That interview comes at the bottom of this review and to this day, with all due respect to Brian Greenstone’s interview from Harley’s Humongous Adventure, remains my favorite Q&A that I’ve personally conducted. Simon went into great detail about Wolfchild and shared some quirky facts. Thanks, Simon!

Check out my Simon Phipps interview at the end!
Check out my Simon Phipps interview at the end  :)

THE STORY GOES…

Wolfchild3

For three decades Kal Morrow has been regarded as one of the world’s leading scientists, pushing back the barriers of biogenetic research with a force that few have equaled. His many medical breakthroughs have resulted in the eradication of several major fatal diseases and have increased human longevity by over forty years. His research has had far reaching effects, touching the areas of agriculture, deep sea and space exploration, as well as sport and military technology. For the past five years, Morrow has worked for the government perfecting advanced gene splicing techniques which allow the alteration of the human form in ways never before imagined.

Wolfchild4

He’s also worked on the development of psychic powers such as telekinesis and levitation. His life’s project has been anchored around the combination of human and animal physiology to create a new breed of lifeform. A perfect war machine augmented by animal instinct within a body that is immune to pain and capable of incredible feats of physical strength and psychic power. Totally adaptable to any possible environment, such a force would be virtually unstoppable. It would be the ultimate response to terrorism and crime.

Wolfchild5

Morrow’s research has been conducted at the Keppler Observatory on a remote island somewhere in the Southern Pacific. His location has been kept secret due to the sensitive nature of his work. And because of it his family, his wife and their two sons have lived with him under constant guard. However, not long ago his whereabouts were uncovered by the international terrorist organization known as CHIMERA.

Wolfchild6

Led by the fanatical and maniacal Karl Draxx, a sociopath possessing natural telekinetic abilities, CHIMERA has perpetrated many acts of terrorism throughout the world. Analysis of Draxx’s personality and the nature of these incidents has led experts to one conclusion: through CHIMERA, Karl Draxx is pursuing his megalomaniac fantasy of world domination. There’s a reason why he was recently moved into the top slot of the FBI’s Most Wanted.

Wolfchild7

Until recently it was never believed that Draxx could ever realize his dream. 36 hours ago CHIMERA made a sweeping attack on the Keppler Observatory and kidnapped Kal Morrow. The attack was swift and vicious, overwhelming Morrow’s security force. There were no survivors. Morrow’s wife and eldest son were both brutally murdered before his very own eyes.

Wolfchild8

Kal Morrow’s youngest son, Saul, was at sea conducting oceanographic research for his father when the attack took place. By the time he returned to the island CHIMERA was long gone, leaving only the observatory behind in complete utter ruin.

Wolfchild9

Frantically he searched for his family… before finally discovering his mother’s body slumped in a dimly lit hallway. Through tears of grief and anger Saul clutched her broken form, swearing vengeance on the perpetrators of this terrible, unforgivable act.

Wolfchild10

Making his way to his father’s secret laboratory, concealed deep below the island, he reviewed security tapes of the attack. His rage grew as he watched his father being dragged away helplessly while his family was slaughtered in full view of the security camera’s cold gaze. There was no other option. Saul was going to rescue his father and seek vengeance on CHIMERA. But, although he was a considerable athlete, one man alone is no match for CHIMERA…

Wolfchild11

… unless he makes himself much more than just a man. Accessing his father’s secret computer files he uncovered PROJECT WOLFCHILD, a genetic program designed to create a lycanthropic warrior. A human with the ability to transform into a powerful man-wolf with awesome psychic powers. With such strength, he would have a fighting chance. Activating the program, he stepped into the transmutation booth…

Wolfchild12

Wolfchild13

Wolfchild14

Wolfchild15

Wolfchild16

It was quickly forgotten to time, but not to RVGFanatic
It was quickly forgotten to time but not to RVGFanatic
Looks better than a Yves St. Laurent Eau de Toilette model!
Better than a Yves St. Laurent Eau de Toilette model…

THE WEAPONS

Wolfchild19

Wolfchild20

Wolfchild21

1. BASIC

Wolfchild22

This is Saul’s standard shot each time he transforms into a werewolf. It’s not very powerful but it gets job done on regular enemies. It has unlimited ammo so you never have to worry about conservation. Serviceable but you’ll want something with a little more oomph soon.

2. DUAL SHOT

Wolfchild23

Not surprisingly, it can fire two shots at once.

3. ARC SHOT

Wolfchild24

My least favorite weapon. Why? Your shots arc at an angle. Usually I find it most effective firing straight ahead but you can’t do that with this gun because, er, well, it’s the freaking arc shot. But it comes in handy when the enemy is slightly below Saul.

4. BOOMER

Wolfchild25

Surprise surprise, it acts like a boomerang. It provides you some decent coverage and protection. I also like the way it looks. It’s only appropriate for a wolf who howls at the moon to have a moon-shaped projectile, eh?

5. MÉNAGE À TROIS

Wolfchild26

One of my favorite weapons in any action game is the classic spread shot. Thanks, Contra. Functional and convenient, the spread shot always makes me feel in total control of my destiny. It’s highly useful as you can see here. No longer do you have to carefully time your leaps. Simply fire away from a safe position. It might not be super strong, but what it lacks in firepower it makes up for with sheer coverage.

6. HOMER

Wolfchild27

This weapon definitely doesn’t elicit a “D’OH!” Not only can you fire multiple shots at once but they automatically lock on to the nearest enemy target. It’s a shame though that it doesn’t come into play until late in the game and there aren’t many opportunities to get this power-up.

7. FLAMER

Wolfchild28Wolfchild28b

 

 

 

Hmmm… my two favorite power-ups are FLAMER and HOMER. FLAMING HOMER, anyone? This shot goes through ANYTHING and can only be stopped by hitting scenery that is unbreakable. This is awesome because not only does it save you ammo but you can fire a shot, run all the way across the screen and watch the chaos unfold before your eyes.

8. PLASMA BALL

Wolfchild29Wolfchild29b

 

 

 

 

This crazy shot bounces across the screen from wall to wall and ceiling to floor. A wild card, it’s not very reliable but it’s fun rolling the dice.

NULLIFY!

Wolfchild30Wolfchild30b

 

 

 

 

A cool thing about Wolfchild is that your shots can cancel out the enemy’s shot. This gives the game an extra layer. Your power-ups not only serve as offensive tools of destruction, but they can also act as defensive buffers. Nothing is cooler than nullifying a bad guy’s shot only to shoot him down the very next second. I wish more games did this.

TIME TO GO SAVE THE OLD MAN!

Wolfchild31

Wolfchild32

The SNES version has extra layers of parallax scrolling
The SNES port has extra layers of parallax scrolling

Wolfchild34

The sprite scaling here isn't too shabby. Well done, Core
The sprite scaling isn’t too shabby. Nicely done, Core

Wolfchild36

Wolfchild37

Wolfchild38

Wolfchild39Wolfchild39bWolfchild39c

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morrow’s dramatic entrance is a bit reminiscent of NES Karnov

KarnovEntr2KarnovEntr

 

 

 

 

 

Karnov was one of my most favorite NES games back in the ’80s :)

Wolfchild40

Wolfchild41

Wolfchild42

It'd be nice if more games went out on a limb [... -Ed.]
I wish more games would go out on a “limb” [… -Ed.]
Wolfchild44

Wolfchild45

Wolfchild46

Wolfchild47

Wolfchild48

Wolfchild49

Wolfchild50

Simon was a Indy fan; see his other game Rick Dangerous
Simon loved Indy. See his other game Rick Dangerous
Rick Dangerous (Amiga)
Rick Dangerous (Amiga)

Wolfchild52

Wolfchild53

Wolfchild54

Wolfchild55

Wolfchild56

Wolfchild57

Wolfchild58

Wolfchild59

Wolfchild60Wolfchild60b

 

 

 

 

 

 

Science experiments gone horribly wrong hide before bursting out and giving chase. Creepy. Reminds me of all those black and white monster B-movies from the 1950s.

Wolfchild61

Wolfchild62

Wolfchild63

Wolfchild64

Wolfchild65

Wolfchild66

Wolfchild67

Wolfchild68

Wolfchild69

Wolfchild70

Wolfchild71

Wolfchild72

Wolfchild73

Wolfchild74

Wolfchild75

Wolfchild76

Wolfchild77

Wolfchild78

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

The critics did NOT say "FANG-TASTIC JOURNEY"
The critics did NOT say “FANG-TASTIC JOURNEY”

Despite having seven different console variations, Wolfchild on the SNES flew under the radar. There was no preview of the game in either EGM or GameFan. So when EGM dropped the tiny review blurb it was like “Huh, what game is this?” To make matters worse, the SNES version only received ONE score rather than EGM’s traditional four. That’s because EGM was going through a phase where all their side reviews (the small ones tucked on the side) were judged by one person only. So a game reviewed this way sort of lived and died on just one man’s opinion. Wolfchild only managed to garner a measly 5 and was quickly dismissed in a very short review. Ah, such is the life for obscure video games, eh?

EGM, or at least this one guy, didn't like Wolfchild much
EGM or this one guy at least didn’t like Wolfchild a lot

CLOSING THOUGHTS

SNES Altered Beast. Sorta
Not shabby to play on a rainy day

One of the best feelings as a retro gamer is beating a game you’ve been curious about (since you were a kid) in one sitting. There’s something undeniably satisfying about that. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. Wolfchild was one of over 100 games I wanted to play back in the day but never did. I remember thinking back in the ’90s when I saw the ad that it didn’t seem like a great game but it looked decent enough. It’s always nice when you find out, years later, that your gut feeling was right all along. There isn’t anything in particular that stands out about Wolfchild. The graphics, sound and gameplay are all slightly above average. It does nothing particularly well, but it doesn’t do anything horribly bad. There are only five short levels, with each level containing two or three zones. The game can be beaten in about an hour. The levels aren’t inspiring but they’re enjoyable enough. If you’re a Super Nintendo diehard who loves action games then Wolfchild may be worth checking out. I won’t go as far as a thumbs up; I’ll go with mildly recommended.

Hell yeah you do. Reclaim the male spirit!
Hell yeah sometimes you do. Reclaim the male spirit!

Back in December 2008 I had the strangest urge to finally play Wolfchild. It’s always a blast to quell a 15+ year curiosity. I went on to beat Wolfchild in an hour. While it wasn’t a great game by any stretch of the imagination, it was highly satisfying. Few things after all rival the sheer thrill of beating a childhood curiosity on your very first try. I didn’t like however that you can only hold one weapon at a time — it would be a lot better if you could cycle through the weapons. I also didn’t like that each gun shares the same ammo. It definitely didn’t take full advantage of the SNES capabilities. Nevertheless, Wolfchild is decent enough to entertain you for an hour or two. If Super Mario World is gourmet award winning 5-star pizza, then Wolfchild is the equivalent of frozen pizza. It’s cheap, easy and not as good as the real deal, but it can satisfy your midnight craving in a pinch. Just as the song goes: I’m lost in a crowd and I’m hungry like the wolf. Similarly, Wolfchild was lost in a sea of contenders. It finds itself somewhere in the middle of the, er, “pack.” ;)

Graphics: 6.5
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 6
Longevity: 5

Overall: 6.0

RVGFANATIC EXCLUSIVE: Simon Phipps Interview

The interview six years in the making!
The interview six years in the making!

STEVE: Were you into video games growing up? What were some of your favorites, whether arcade or console?

Wolfchild84

SIMON: I was fortunate enough to be 12 years old when Space Invaders first appeared in the arcades in 1978 so I’ve been privileged to experience pretty much all of video game history watching those early coin-ops make their way into homes and evolve into the amazing experiences we play today. So, yes, growing up, I have fond memories of pushing 10 pence coins into those early arcade cabinets. Most notable ones being playing table-top Galaxians at a local leisure centre, getting a callus on the inside of my right index finger from playing way too much Ms. Pacman during the summer of 1982 on a vacation to Ontario, Canada, being physically shaken the first time I played Sinistar in a local arcade in my home town of Nottingham when the machine boomed ‘RUN COWARD!’ (I didn’t know it could speak) and many lunchtimes playing the obscure side scroller Vastar in the back of a local record store with my buddy (and later colleague at Core Design), Terry Lloyd.

Vastar
Vastar

But interestingly the reason I got a computer at home wasn’t because I wanted to play games, it was because I’d always been fascinated with animation as a kid and computers were a way into making my art move.

I bought my first computer in May 1982 — a BBC Model A Microcomputer and started to teach myself BASIC and 6502. Of course, computers being interactive, making controllable animating characters was the next step and soon I found myself making games.

Wolfchild85

Of course, I played a few along the way — the very first to really blow my mind, being David Braben & Ian Bell’s Elite on the BBC in 1984. I progressed from the BBC to an Amstrad CPC464, then an Atari ST, always learning, trying new stuff, and the first piece of dedicated games hardware I ever bought was a Japanese Mega Drive with a copy of Insector X and Strider

Insector X
Insector X

STEVE: How did you break into the video game industry?

SIMON: It actually grew out of having my BBC Micro. I started writing games for myself and by mid-to-late 1983 my school friend, Stu Gregg (who would also go on to work with me later at Core) encouraged me to send the game I was working on off to a few publishers as he thought that what I was making was good enough to be seen by the wider world. I put my game on a tape cassette and sent it out. Within a few weeks I was contacted by Leeds-based publisher ‘Micro Power’ who sent me a great letter saying they’d publish if I made a few changes. I did, and so, by the age of 18, while still at school, I had a game (a single-screen platformer called Jet-Power Jack) in the Top 10 of the UK Games Charts.

Wolfchild86I continued to work on my education and at 21 I finished my Computer Studies course and went to do a job writing BCPL code for a desktop publishing firm. I sat in a cubicle for about 5 months writing code and one evening, my buddy Terry (Lloyd), who’d since joined the games industry, working as an artist for Gremlin Graphics gave me a call. They needed someone who could give them a helping hand drawing art for ‘Masters of the Universe: The Computer Game’ for the Amiga and Atari ST and Terry asked me if I’d be interested. I said yes, so turned up with a disk showing what I could do and they offered me a job.

Jet-Power Pack
Jet-Power Pack

It meant a pay cut, and back then, the games industry really was in its infancy, so I consulted my then fiancée, Jayne (we’ve been married now 25 years) as to what she thought. We agreed to ‘give it a go’ thinking that if all else failed I could go back to the world of serious computing.

Well, it’s now some 27 years later and I’m delighted to say that I have the privilege of being an artist, coder and designer, having done all manner of amazing stuff working with some great people on a huge variety of games.

If I could go back and show my younger self all the cool stuff I’ve gotten to do, I think it would have blown my mind…

STEVE: There were so many different versions of Wolfchild. For a game that didn’t necessarily receive a lot of coverage, it’s pretty amazing to think about how many systems got a variation of it. Which systems, other than the SNES, did you work on with Wolfchild?

SIMON: I think it would be fair to say… ‘All of them.’

Simon Phipps, Wolfchild mastermind
Simon Phipps, Wolfchild mastermind

Core was in a phase where it made business sense to get our games on as many platforms as possible. So, yes, I worked on the Atari ST and Amiga originals. We then ported it to the SEGA Mega Drive, SEGA Mega-CD, the SNES and finally the SEGA Game Gear and SEGA Master System… by the end of them… I was DONE!

STEVE: Have you been able to play all variations of Wolfchild? Where does the SNES version rank in your opinion?

SIMON: Yes, while we were developing them.

The original version was on the Amiga, we ported down to the Atari ST which struggled a little since it had no hardware scrolling and I had to bring all the graphics down to work in one 16 color palette.

We then followed that up with the SEGA Mega Drive and Mega-CD versions, which were cool because we got to build additional maps for the Mega-CD and these versions were the first console games I’d ever worked on.

Bloody awesome cover!
Bloody awesome cover!

Then came the SNES — which played the same as the other versions but has the best graphics, since the SNES hardware allowed for many more colors and palettes.

Finally we down-converted everything to the SEGA Game Gear and Master System which were a fun technical challenge, since, by that time I had all the art from all the versions and the trick that Sean Dunleavy (who coded these versions) and I had to pull off was cramming it all down into the tiny console. But within the limitation of the devices we managed to pull it off.

Wolfchild90

STEVE: Where did the concept of Wolfchild come from? What were some of your inspirations? How big of an influence was Altered Beast to you?

Surprise: Wolfchild wasn't based on this but rather...
Surprise: Wolfchild wasn’t based on this but rather…

SIMON: I got to Wolfchild after spending about 4 years making cartoon platform games. The simple fact was, that I made one, and then was asked to do another, and while fun, the artist in me was craving to try something a bit more serious with more realistic characters.

I was massively influenced by Strider, which I thought at the time was quite amazing. Yes, Altered Beast gave me the idea of taking a hero from human to a super-powered werewolf… but the thing that really inspired me, as crazy as it sounds, was a belt buckle

Yes, it was Strider. And a belt buckle. Wait what?
Yes, it was Strider. And a belt buckle. Wait, say what?

One of my colleagues at Core, Bob Churchill (who worked on such titles as Chuck Rock) was hugely into bands like The Cult during the late ’80s / early ’90s and often wore a belt with a buckle that had the word ‘WOLFCHILD’ in cut-out silver letters on it.

You never know when and where inspiration strikes...
You never know when and where inspiration strikes!

To this day, I have no idea what it meant, but that ‘title’ just worked for me, so all those things came together to make the game.

Other influences would be Capcom coin-op art of that era (hence the Manga-like characters, which back then still hadn’t become mainstream so they were cool and exotic), the graded metallic art of the Bitmap Brothers games and from a story point of view, all those half-human-half-animal creatures draw from The Island of Doctor Moreau (hence the main characters’ surname: Morrow).

STEVE: Ahhh, now looking back at Wolfchild with that inspiration in mind, I can see the Strider influences. Wolfchild was kind of an obscure game despite having seven variations. Were you disappointed that magazine publications such as EGM and GameFan didn’t cover it much?

SIMON: At the time, being in the UK, magazines like EGM and GameFan never really made it across the Atlantic. We made games for the UK market and it was only over time, as consoles started to go global that we started thinking beyond our shores.

The big problem Wolfchild had was that it was never built first for console hardware. We made a game for the Amiga and the Atari then some time after it had been finished, when the opportunities came around, got to port it over to the various consoles.

Wolfchild94

As is always the case, if you do not build something for a specific console / piece of hardware (or at least go in bearing that in mind before you embark on a multi-format project) you’ll never take advantage of its full potential. In the case of Wolfchild, the other consoles had dedicated sprite hardware, character-map based scrolling playing fields and some funky scaling routines on both the Mega-CD and SNES that we were never going to be able to take as much advantage of, coming from a game that mostly used software-based sprites and was originally intended for just 2 formats.

Wolfchild95

That said, the problem still exists in the industry today — if you look at the best and most successful Nintendo games, for example, they’re always the ones that are built for the hardware and take advantage of not only its graphics hardware but its unique controls too. When working on multi-format titles it’s a constant drive to make sure you’re thinking about utilizing the various platforms’ unique features while trying to make the best core game possible.

STEVE: Looking back, how do you feel about the SNES version?

SIMON: It was a great learning experience because it taught me all about making graphics in the highest resolution and widest palette range possible and then scaling down and reducing colors to whatever the target machine needs.

You see, I started Wolfchild on the Amiga — I had a single palette of 16 colors for my main character, 8 colors for all the bad guys and 8 colors for the background art (or 4? It wasn’t many…)

Wolfchild on the Amiga
Wolfchild (Amiga)

When we moved up to the SEGA Mega Drive and Mega-CD the increased number of hardware palettes meant that I could add more color to the various elements of the game — that was okay, it was ‘doable’ — bad guys had their own 16-color palette, foregrounds another…

Wolfchild on the Genesis
Wolfchild (Genesis)

Then after that the SNES came along and the sheer number of palettes that were open for me to use, plus the resolution of the color palettes BLEW MY MIND. I can remember distinctly sitting with an art package on the PC adding extra detail and colors to all the graphics that I’d already added detail to for the SEGA versions and thinking — I wish I’d known I’d be doing this 2 years ago…

Wolfchild on the SNES
Wolfchild (SNES)

From then on, I’ve learned to draw everything as big as possible, in as many colors as possible and then scale down. That’s proven very useful when I’m working on some of my personal art commissions — I’ll guarantee a client will come back to me asking if they can have a slightly larger version of a logo or a wider format of print. Thanks to software like Photoshop, Manga Studio and Anime Studio (the latter two being resolution independent) I can’t see myself adding extra pixel details to anything again.

STEVE: Any regrets on the SNES game? Were there any ideas you wanted to implement, but didn’t, or couldn’t, for whatever reason? i.e. NoA’s strict family image back in those days…

SIMON: Only that we didn’t get the opportunity to make the game from the ground up on the SNES — it had to be the third-in-line conversion of our Amiga game. If we’d been making a title from the ground-up on SNES, that would have been a completely different story — we’d have thrown every hardware trick in the book at it.

As goes NoA and its approach — never a problem. I never intended to make the game anything other than the Capcom-inspired action platformer it was.

"Hey handsome. You come here often?"
“Hey handsome. You come here often?”

In later years, I worked on Shadow Man on the Nintendo 64, and for its time we really pushed the boat out in terms of horror and maturity and had no problems there — and even in ultra-conservative Germany where we had to change all the blood to green the classification board understood that in that game all the characters, however humanoid in appearance were all monsters, so we got the opportunity for a release there where other titles didn’t.

Shadow Man on the N64
Shadow Man (Nintendo 64)

STEVE: Did you ever consider making a Wolfchild 2?

SIMON: No, after about 2 years of making it and then remaking it for another 18 or so months for various other formats, I was exhausted and needed to do something else.

It’s interesting to ponder what a modern version would be like though — I guarantee that in a world in which Chris Nolan’s excellent Dark Knight exists, it would have to be a very different… beast

STEVE: In the end credits, who exactly is The Man On The Stairs? I like to imagine there’s a pretty decent story behind this…

Wolfchild100

It made me think of this old cult classic!
It made me think of this old cult classic!

SIMON: Crikey — that’s something I’ve not thought about for about 20 or so years…

The story behind that is that Chris Long (coder on Chuck Rock, Chuck Rock II and a whole heap of other classic Core games) used to draw ridiculous little cartoons all the time while he was working. They were intentionally crudely drawn but quite hilarious. One of which he called ‘Man on the Stairs’ — basically a guy standing sideways on a set of stairs one foot on one step, the other foot on the step above staring out of the page with a manic leering grin. This would get drawn everywhere — I don’t think anyone’s notepad was safe. So, yes, Chris’ art got an obscure name-check. And you’re the first person that’s ever asked me about it.

Wolfchild102

I imagine that's what the Man on the Stairs looks like
I imagine that’s what the Man on the Stairs looks like

STEVE: Great backstory! I love those little neat obscure stories lost to time… I am honored to be the first one to ever ask. Speaking of backstories, do you still keep in touch with any of the Wolfchild team members? Any interesting “behind the scene” stories that you’d like to share?

SIMON: Yes, John Kirkland who wrote all the 6800 versions (ST, Amiga, Mega Drive) went to school with me — he no longer works in the industry, but we keep in touch.

One memory that I’ll never forget was one night John and I were working on the game until about 1 AM as we had a journalist coming to visit the following day to do a preview on the Amiga version. We had a bug — a horrible, horrible bug in the scrolling code that neither of us could figure out. We stared at it for hours, trying to get our heads around what was going wrong until way past midnight and eventually had to throw in the towel and go home exhausted. We went home, got some sleep, came in at 8:30 AM the following day, took another look at the code and fixed it by 9 AM! That taught me a lot about taking a step back — sometimes when you’re banging your head against a wall the only way to make things better is to just stop and walk away. And get some sleep.

A, um, BUG in the scrolling code, you say, good sir?
Um… a BUG in the scrolling code, you say, good sir?

STEVE: Ha, good story and a great lesson learned! Yes, sometimes we just need to step away from something and get a good night’s rest. The SNES manual of Wolfchild had a pretty detailed storyline with some striking black and white comic book-like drawings. Who was responsible for the storyline and drawings? Personally, I found both the story and drawings to be quite riveting.

SIMON: Cool, thanks. I came up with the storyline — I needed some kind of backstory to justify super-powerful genetic mutations and something to motivate our hero into going after the bad guy. Where precisely it came from, I’m not sure, but it was the first game I’d ever made with a substantial graphical intro (which were quite en vogue at the time after the Psygnosis games made such an impact with their ‘intro disks’).

As to the illustrations — I drew them all for the Amiga and Atari ST manuals. SEGA had their own artist reinterpret them for the Master System/Game Gear ones. As for the illustrations — I drew them all for the Amiga, Atari ST and SNES manuals. Back at Core since we were our own publisher we had freedom to make as much or as little of the manual as we liked, so I just picked up my pencil and made the most of the opportunity.

STEVE: Tell me about how you came up with the protagonist’s design.

Wolfchild105SIMON: The design of Saul Morrow (the hero) was out of necessity — I decided I didn’t want our hero to do the full ‘Altered Beast’ transformation of going from a man in his underwear to a full-on hairy werewolf — I wanted to keep something common between both forms and have the reason for the transformation to be something… ‘science-y.’ I also needed to keep down the amount of memory for animation frames; it made sense to share the same pair of legs between both forms (especially as I needed variations for running up and down all those slopes). The big silver metal ‘hoops’ around Saul’s shoulders gave me something common to share between both his forms but left me enough skin to show the difference between his human and wolf-forms. Finally, his hair is long and white/blonde because I wanted something that looked a bit wild and unlike the rest of the muscular buzz-cut video game characters of the time, and I tried black hair but that merged with all the backgrounds so I had to lighten it.

STEVE: I like the design of Saul. You’re right, the buzz-cut pervaded the scene back then; it was nice to see a hero with long blonde hair for a change. How come on the SNES box art cover though he has black hair? Was that just a honest mistake that no one caught?

SIMON: Nope — this is one of those cases where I’m afraid the artist who did the box art wanted to do his own thing. I drew out a brief sketch detailing what Saul’s costume in the sprite looked like when scaled up. That I’m afraid to say, was dutifully ignored. I complained about it, but ‘it was too late.’ Years later I was on a plane to the US when I picked up the in-flight magazine and saw on the back page an Yves St. Laurent Eau de Toilette ad for ‘Kouros’ that bore a rather remarkable resemblance to what went out on the box… um… yeah…

Wolfchild106

Wow. I think Simon sums it up best with "Um.... yeah..."
Whoa! Simon sums it up best: “Um… yeah…”

STEVE: There were eight weapons for Saul to use. I enjoyed their versatility, although I wish they didn’t all share the same ammo. Do you have any insight to share about any of Saul’s weapons… whether it’s design or where you drew inspiration from? I personally enjoy the Homer and Flamer the most. The former because you don’t have to be precise and the latter because that sucker blew through almost everything on the screen and could kill multiple enemies.

FLAMING HOMER! Puts hair on your chest like a werewolf
Flamin’ Homer puts hair on your chest like a werewolf

SIMON: I basically wanted to do every kind of possible firepower I could in the game — big shot, triple shot, homing shot, etc. I guess games like Side Arms and Gradius in the arcades were some influences there. The reason for sharing the same ammo? Well, on Atari and Amiga we only had a limited number of joystick buttons to play with, so we made a game that worked for them and the rest of the conversions inherited the simplistic controls and weapon power ups simply changed the type of shot… a thing if I recall correctly, I’d played around with on my earlier Atari / Amiga game, Switch Blade.

SwitchBlade

Switch Blade looks pretty cool
Switch Blade looks pretty cool
I can really see...
I can really see…
... what would eventually be Wolfchild
… what would eventually be Wolfchild

STEVE: When Saul throws down a smart bomb, the screen pixelates. I thought it was pretty cool how everything on the screen would pixelate like crazy except for the character sprites and any projectile shots. The debris on the final boss fight is not pixelated either, which makes for a neat visual when you throw down a smart bomb. Talk about working on that aspect.

SIMON: The smart bomb effect is one of those cases when doing a conversion to a different platform where you’re trying to be seen to be using its hardware.

So, for example, in more modern times, taking a game over to Wii U, your first priority is getting gameplay on Wii U Gamepad’s touch screen, at the launch of PS3 it would have been being encouraged by Sony to use the tilt controls on the Sixaxis, or, prior to Microsoft’s about-face on the Kinect, getting gesture and voice commands into an Xbox One game.

You always have to do that — the customer (rightly) wants a game that uses the console’s unique features as much as possible, and the console manufacturer definitely wants that to happen.

So, doing a conversion, (often, in those old days, against a tight schedule), you’re looking for as many ways to get unique uses of the hardware in without impacting the time you have to complete the conversion.

With the smart bomb effect in Wolfchild, Alex (Davis) realized we could use the SNES’ signature pixelation effect in certain circumstances and suggested we put it in there. As to why the sprites don’t pixelate — that’s a limitation of the hardware — the character playing fields were possible to pixelate, the sprites didn’t do that.

Simon DROPPING knowledge. Geddit? Sorry
Simon DROPPING knowledge. Geddit? Sorry…

STEVE: Karl Draxx (no relation or inspiration drawn from Guardians of the Galaxy‘s Drax the Destroyer, I presume) was an interesting villain. How did you come up with his name and design? I remember after beating his human form he transforms into a monstrous wolf. I always thought that final design was pretty cool for Draxx.

Wolfchild114

SIMON: Y’know, I just came up with a name that sounded suitably comic book and tried to come up with something that looked right… (I read a lot of Marvel’s Warlock strip in the late 1970’s so it’s possible that name rattled around in my head and came out years later). And of course, he had to turn into a massive-super-humongous-wolf-beast for the showdown, didn’t he?

Wolfchild115

STEVE: Did you work on the Dreamcast version of Shadow Man as well? I always thought that the premise of Shadow Man was awesome. Love the title and atmosphere of that game! Were you the one who created Shadow Man’s design and story? Not to deviate too far away from Wolfchild but I gotta ask, especially since it’s Halloween season: what were the inspirations for Shadow Man? It gave me a Candy Man Tony Todd vibe. I think a new Shadow Man game today could do very well…

Tony Todd from CANDYMAN
Tony Todd from CANDY MAN

SIMON: Yep — all versions of Shadow Man, as lead designer. In the wake of Turok’s success, we got the opportunity from Acclaim Studios Teesside to do an adaptation of one of Acclaim’s other comic-book properties. The coolest by far however was Shadow Man (the title had recently been rebooted by Garth Ennis and Ashley Wood) and although the comic when we got a hold of it was only a handful of issues into its rebooted run, it sure had potential. Mike LeRoi, Nettie, Jaunty and the Deadside Gates were the creations of Messrs Ennis and Wood, myself and my partner-in-crime at the time, Guy Miller were responsible for the rest. The premise we came up with was “What if all the bad people in Deadside (the World of the Dead) decided that they wanted to come back?” and using that as a springboard we spent the next 2 or so years exploring the wildest of dark places and cramming them all into an N64 cartridge and eventually a Dreamcast. Inspirations came from all over the place — Pieter Bruegel’s painting The Tower of Babel was our starting point for the Asylum — the citadel of killers in Deadside, films and TV such as Lance Henriksen’s show Millennium, the Clive Barker movies like Hellraiser and Nightbreed, Jacob’s Ladder, Silence of the Lambs, Eraserhead, Cape Fear all were influences.

Wolfchild117

It was a really fun thing to work on — I’m not into horror movies that much, but I did enjoy the subversive intellectual challenge of coming up with stuff that I knew would mess with folks’ heads. It’s surprising sometimes how putting a handful of incongruous and often innocuous elements together can really affect people and evoke a strong reaction. I’m not doing it in video games any more, but I still like doing that sort of thing in the paintings I make for myself.

Only time will tell if Shadow Man is ever resurrected...
Only time will tell if Shadow Man is ever resurrected…

STEVE: Finally, last but not least… what is Simon Phipps up to now?

SIMON: Well at the beginning of 2014 I decided to leave my Designer job at Criterion Games / Electronic Arts and join the world of independent game making, to get myself back into coding after 20 years’ absence.

Since then I’ve hooked up with the wonderful and talented guys at the newly-formed Three Fields Entertainment and I’m pleased to say that I’m working on a cool new (retro-inspired) game as lead coder, designer and artist (which is why, when asked what I’d like my new job title to be at the company I came up with ‘O.T.T.’ — or, Original Triple Threat… I’ve met enough CEOs and CTOs over the years. I’m not one of those but OTT? Guilty as charged…)

Simon Phipps on the left
Simon Phipps on the left

I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed coding after having to give it up at the start of Wolfchild, so it’s great to be back, solving problems, learning heaps of new stuff.

The folks at Three Fields are super supportive and are giving me such creative freedom on the new game while collaborating with me to push it and make it the best it can be. As to when it will be out — well, after many years of cutting features on games and pushing teams to meet enforced deadlines, I’m pleased to say that Three Fields mantra is ‘when it’s ready.’ If anyone’s interested in what other art I’ve made and games I’ve worked on, they can visit my website.

Thanks for your time, Simon. It was fun.
I wish you all the best on your future projects.
-Steve

On November 29, 2014, Simon was sent a link to my review and our interview. He had the following to say…

Great fun, Steve — what a wonderfully quirky presentation of the game — loads of work went into that and I love the whole personal story that you’ve brought to it. Really describes your journey to the game, how we hooked up and where we are now. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Take care. -Simes

Wow, that made my day. Thank you again, Simon. It was a lot of fun :)

A modern day Wolfchild could be FANG-tastic
A modern day Wolfchild could be FANG-tastic…
"Imagine how bad ass we would look with today's tech!"
“Imagine how bad ass we would look with today’s tech!”

LINKS OF INTEREST:

Simon Phipps’ website

HG101’s Wolfchild topic (look for my posts under, er, Steven)

Harley’s Humongous Adventure (SNES)

Pub: Hi-Tech Expressions | Dev: Visual Concepts | February 1993 | 4 MEGS
Pub: Hi Tech Expressions | Dev: Visual Concepts | February 1993 | 4 MEGS

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a fascination with oddball video games. You know the ones — the games that flew under the radar, failed to garner much mention and quickly faded into obscurity. One game that fits this description is Harley’s Humongous Adventure. I was immediately intrigued by it when I first saw it 24 years ago (!) in early 1993. It took me over 20 years to finally play it, and in 2015 I scored an interview with its programmer. That interview can be read at the very end of this review. Harley’s Humongous Adventure will never win any awards but it’s a surprisingly decent little (har har) game. It deserves the spotlight… even if only for a brief moment.

THIS ONE’S FOR THE LITTLE GUYS

This issue absolutely captivated my imagination
This issue absolutely captivated my imagination

Video game magazines were thriving back in 1993. It was a boom time for the industry. One of the best was Electronic Gaming Monthly, or better known as EGM. I’ll never forget issue #43 (February 1993). The cover immediately jumped out at me, grabbing my attention. Bubsy was hyped to the moon as the next great mascot platformer. The bold red and orange colors sucked me in. Best of all? This issue featured a 59-page (!) preview of SNES games recently released or coming soon. I wasted hours browsing those 59 glorious pages over and over again. There were so many intriguing games I wanted to play. Sadly, many of them I never did when I was a kid. One such title was Harley’s Humongous Adventure. I often say one of the best things about this hobby is the ability to play these long lost games once and for all. There’s something gratifying about putting a childhood curiosity to rest — even moreso when the game turns out to be decent or better.

Talk about a serious Honey I Shrunk the Kids flashback
Talk about a serious Honey I Shrunk the Kids flashback

There was something refreshing about this game. Maybe it was the claymation. But I think really it’s the fact that Harley wasn’t out to save the world, rescue a princess or even battle his bitter long time rival (hell, the boss is his pet rat). He simply wants to return to his normal kid size before getting devoured by a hungry ant or tick. It’s a simple “small-scale” (pardon the pun) adventure that works in its own weird way. I love epic games but there’s always room for niche ones too, and this filled that role quite nicely.

Nothing beats quelling a childhood curiosity at last!
Nothing beats quelling a childhood curiosity at last!

Saturday morning. 4th of July, 2015. 1 AM. I was staying up late to catch the special “Beast in the East” event live on the WWE Network. I had roughly 90 minutes to kill so I mulled over my collection to pluck out the next title to play. My eyes landed on Harley’s Humongous Adventure and right away I knew. Don’t you love that feeling? When you’re wondering what game to play for the first time ever next and once you see a certain title you just know. It was one of those moments for me. It was time to find out, once and for all, after over 22 years of curiosity. I spent the next hour or so traversing Harley’s madcap world and eventually beat the game later that weekend. While it wasn’t anything mind-blowing, it certainly was memorable. After all, few things are better than beating a game you never played before (but always wanted to) in one sitting. Plus I even got to interview the programmer of Harley’s Humongous Adventure, Brian Greenstone, the very next day. That interview can be read at the end of this review. It was the perfect way to cap off a 22+ year curiosity — beating the game and interviewing its programmer! :)

Nothing like live wrestling at 3 in the bloody morning!
It was the kind of weekend you’ll always remember…
Nothing like watching rasslin' live at 3 in the morning
Nothing like watching rasslin’ live at 3 in the morning

THE STORY GOES…

HHA4

HHA5

HHA6HHA6b

 

 

 

 

 

Harley gets shrunken down to about six inches. AY CARAMBA!

HHA7

HHA8

HHA9

HARLEY FIGHTS BACK

HHA10

HHA11

HHA12

HHA13

HHA14

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS

HHA15

HHA16

I’m just tryna make it back home by Monday morning.
I swear I wish somebody would tell me OOH THAT’S ALL I WANT.

[That says 45 seconds, not Four Five Seconds, ya git! -Ed.]

Sorry! Just got that song stuck in my head, is all...
Sorry! Just got that song stuck in my head, is all…

HHA18

HHA19

HHA20

HHA21

HHA22

HHA23

HHA24

HHA25

HHA26

Each icon collected gives you 10 more of that weapon
Each icon collected gives ya 10 more of that weapon
Control scheme works well and each weapon has its use
Control scheme works well. Each weapon has its use
Say what you will but c'mon you CAN'T hate on this
Say what you will but c’mon you CAN’T hate on this
Running is fine. So is jumping. But not together
Running is fine. So is jumping. But not together

HHA31

HHA32

HHA33

"IT'SSSS ALLLLLLL RIGHT COZ I'M SAV" -- [SNIP! -Ed.]
“IT’SSSS ALLLLLLL RIGHT COZ I’M SAV” — [SNIP! -Ed.]
Bit reminiscent to another '93 SNES action title, B.O.B.
Bit reminiscent to another ’93 SNES action title: B.O.B.

HHA36

Most levels have no timer so you can take your time
Most levels have no timer so you can take your time
Kinda makes you wonder what kind of kid Harley is, no?
Kinda makes you wonder what kind of kid Harley is…
I wish there was more boss variety, though
I wish there was more boss variety, though

HHA40

HHA41

Hmmm, Ant-Man makers fans of Harley? [Ha... -Ed.]
Hmmm, Ant-Man makers fans of Harley? [Ha… -Ed.]

HHA45

HHA46

HHA47

HHA48

HHA49

Or maybe it WAS dad's choice. Hey, I don't judge
Or maybe it WAS dad’s choice. Hey, I don’t judge

HHA51

HHA52

HHA53

HHA54

HHA55

HHA56

Reminds me of that Lego house I built as a kid
Reminds me of that Lego house I built as a kid

HHA58

HHA59

HHA60

HHA61

Thanks, Brian Greenstone!
Thanks, Brian Greenstone!

HHA63

But after a few practice runs, you'll figure it out
But after a few practice runs, you’ll figure it out
[Pretty sure Harley boy is standing on the edge, duh!] -Ed.
[Pretty sure Harley boy is standing on the edge… -Ed.]

HHA66

HHA67

HHA68

HHA69

Sometimes it's better to just avoid them
Sometimes it’s better to just avoid them

HHA71

HHA72

HHA73

HHA74

HHA75

HHA76

HHA77

HHA78

HHA79

HHA80

The firecracker is limited but has its moments
The firecracker is limited but has its moments

HHA82

HHA83

I'm telling y'all... Ant-Man makers were fans of Harley...
I’m telling y’all: Ant-Man makers were fans of Harley!

HHA84

HHA85

Walks and runs fine but turning takes a slight second
Walks and runs fine but turning takes a slight second

HHA87

HHA88

HHA89HHA89b

 

 

 

 

 

After defeating your pet rat a third time, Harley restores balance to the world. Er, his world, anyhow!

IF YOU NEED A BOOST BEYOND THE JET PACK

HHA90

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Harley did OK with the critics
Harley didn’t do too shabby with the critics

Harley’s Humongous Adventure earned mediocre to solid reviews. EGM gave it scores of 8, 7, 7 and 6. GameFan gave it ratings of 80, 77, 69 and 65%. Super Play rated it 69%. Interestingly enough, both EGM and GameFan reviewed the game on two separate occasions. EGM’s sister publication, Super NES Buyer’s Guide (a bi-monthly SNES-exclusive magazine that ran back in the early-mid ’90s) rated it 8, 8 and 7. GameFan reviewed this game in its very first issue, giving it marks of 85 and 78%. It holds the distinct honor of being the ONLY Super Nintendo game to be reviewed on two separate occasions by both EGM (technically speaking) and GameFan. At least Harley has that “claim to fame.” Sure, he’s no Mario or Sonic but I think there is a place for guys like Harley. He’s that lovable underdog. The uhh, ahem, “little” engine that could.

HHA92

HHA93

HHA94

HHA95

Super NES Buyer's Guide has colors on the side. Neat!
Super NES Buyer’s Guide had a quirky rating system
Red stood for graphics. Blue was for sound
Red stood for graphics. Green was for sound
And yellow stood for gameplay. Blue: Difficulty
Yellow represented gameplay. Blue was for difficulty
Once again, Super Play and I are in agreement
Once again, Super Play and I are in agreement

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Because Harley's Decent Adventure doesn't sell as well
Because Harley’s Decent Adventure doesn’t sell as well

As I sat there admiring the preview in EGM some 20+ years ago, something told me this game probably wasn’t a humongous adventure. But I also had the gut feeling that it was a fairly decent one. Fast forward some 22 years and I’m happy to say I got one right. This isn’t a great game by any means. Perhaps not even a good one. But it’s playable and enjoyable. It’s sprinkled with some interesting gimmicks and enough levels to entertain you for a weekend. It’s not particularly hard, although a few stages require some trial and error. I love the various weapons you can use, and switching them on the fly with the shoulder buttons is smooth and seamless. Harley controls reasonably well enough, except for jumping while running and turning on a dime. It takes him a second to turn around — in the heat of the moment that could lead to unnecessary damage. Visually, the game has a striking look thanks to its claymation. Although it’s a bit hampered by its somewhat bland backgrounds. Animation is hit or miss. Enemies animate smoothly while Harley could use more frames of animation. The tunes aren’t memorable and are kind of just there. But the game does have this unique quirky charm that reels you in. Well, at least it did to me. As always, your mileage may vary.

Now there's a face not even a mother could love
Now there’s a face not even a mother could love

There’s a solid variety of things to do besides the usual. There’s a level where you command a tank. Another level sees you soaring on a jet pack. Other levels have sections where you parachute your way down, or even catch a ride on a bubble. There are 18 stages in all. None are overly long and you can beat the game in one sitting. Truth be told, I kind of miss games like this. You know the ones: little weird niche titles that were made on a tiny budget that didn’t set out to be anything more than quirky and amusing. You really don’t see games like this anymore in this day and age, for better or for worse. I guess there’s a part of me that will always long for the 8 and 16-bit generations where these countless above average platformers littered the shelves of rental stores. No, they’re not world beaters or anything but they’re fun in their own right, competently made, charmingly quirky, and can occupy you perfectly fine for a night or two. All in all, Harley’s Humongous Adventure is not a must-have game but if you love the genre and you’ve already played the best on the SNES, then this is worth a look. It’s not good enough to be classified as underrated. Nor is it a bonafide “hidden gem” but it certainly has an odd little atmosphere that is in some ways second to none on the SNES. If you like the idea of being shrunk while fending off giant bugs and dealing with normal everyday objects then this game is right up your alley.

Graphics: 6
Sound: 5.5
Gameplay: 6
Longevity: 5.5

Overall: 6.0

HHA102

HHA103

Me: Harley’s Humongous Adventure was your first SNES game. You created and programmed its gaming world. Do you still look back fondly on this experience, or is it one of those things where you’re more ashamed than proud of how it turned out years later?

BG: I consider that time the second Golden Age of video games. The first was the coin-op days in the late ’70s / early ’80s when Galaga, Dig Dug, Pac Man, etc. were huge, but the second Golden Age was when the Super NES came out in the early ’90s. It was a lot of fun, and very challenging to develop back in those days. The development devices were usually hand-made and held together with duct tape. All of the programming was straight assembly code, and every cycle and every byte counted. It took really skilled programmers to make those games — it’s not like today where pretty much anyone can make a game.

Me: Describe the origins of this game: how did it come about, what ideas inspired you, and how much of an influence (if any) was Honey I Shrunk the Kids?

BG: My boss at Visual Concepts came up with that idea, and I’m sure Honey I Shrunk the Kids played some role in there, but I think the original Incredible Shrinking Man had more to do with it than anything.

My poster that came with the game. Love the art...
My poster that came with the game. Love the art…

Me: How did the design of the Harley character come about? I find him to be a bit interesting: the spiky hair, the cool sunglasses, heck, Harley even had the letter “H” etched out in his haircut! (Not seen in-game but seen on the box art).

BG: The art design was all up to the artists, and we had a lot of very talented ones working at Visual Concepts. I believe Colin Silverman did the art for Harley, and he was one of the best that I ever worked with. I actually still have a huge framed Harley’s Humongous Adventure poster over my desk right now. I look at it every day, and it’s been here for the last 19 years, so that funky hairdo with the “H” carved into it is always staring me down. Now that I look again, he does seem to have a very late ’80s / early ’90s look.

Brian's office proudly displays the Harley poster
Brian’s office proudly displays the Harley poster

Me: How long did it take to make this game from start to finish? What were some of the setbacks or challenges?

BG: If I remember correctly, this was about a 9 month project. That’s generally how long it took to make one of those games back then. The main challenges were getting the development devices to work properly. We even had one of the guys at Visual Concepts write a compiler for us since the ones provided were so bad. The company that published the game, Hi Tech Expressions, was a Korean firm that was pretty new to this, so working with them was a bit challenging as we kept trying to squeeze more money out of them.

Little known Korean firm
Little known Korean firm

Me: You used a unique look for the time: (partial) claymation. You might have been the first to use claymation on the SNES. What made you want to do this kind of look? I remember as a kid it definitely stood out in the gaming magazines I read back in the day.

BG: The claymation ideas was my boss’, and the company that did that also did claymation for several of our other games. The best SNES game I did was called Claymates, and it won some awards but unfortunately EA’s decision to name it that killed it. That was not the name we wanted, and “Claymates” sounded idiotic, so it flopped. Also, we did Clay Fighter which ended up being a big hit.

Unique look
Quite a unique look for its time

Me: The jet pack was a pretty neat idea. Any inspiration behind this?

BG: The Jet Pack is what Alfred Hitchcock would have referred to as a MacGuffin — a plot tool used to get the character out of holes that the writers got him stuck in. I’ve used Jet Packs in many games, and they’re great for helping the player out of situations that you can’t find any other solution for. Plus, they’re fun!

Me: The game features 18 levels. Was there one you personally enjoyed most? I was particularly fond of Harley’s room due to the fact that you can climb some of his Lego sets.

BG: In all honesty, I can’t remember much of any of them. I do vaguely remember the bathtub, mainly because it’s on the poster over my desk, but also because it had some interesting ideas with soap platforms and such. I know we put a lot of neat things in the game, but having not played the game in over 20 years I can’t remember most of it.

HHA107

Me: How many copies did the game sell?

BG: The game did OK but not great. I don’t actually remember the sales — for some reason the number 40,000 sticks in my head, but that might not mean anything.

Me: Were you and your team personally satisfied with how the game turned out?

BG: Yes, I was very proud of it, especially considering that it was my first professional game out of college.

Me: Was a sequel ever planned?

BG: I don’t think so. Hi Tech Expressions, the publisher, promptly disappeared.

No más on a sequel
No más on a sequel

Me: Why wasn’t Harley’s Humongous Adventure also made for the Sega Genesis?

BG: As hard as it was to develop for the SNES, the Genesis was actually even worse. Plus, the Genesis didn’t have the customer base that Nintendo had, so we stayed focused on SNES work.

Genesis does what Super Nintendon't. Oops
“Genesis does what Nintendon’t.” Oops!

Me: What other SNES games were you involved with, and do you have a personal favorite?

BG: I also did Claymates and Lester the Unlikely for Visual Concepts. Then when I went to work for Mindscape I did three Mario Early Learning educational games based on the Nintendo Mario character. My favorite was Claymates, however. It was all claymation, and was a really neat idea.

Me: Do you still keep in touch today with Scott Patterson, John Manley, Richard Robbins or Greg Thomas?

BG: No, I haven’t heard from any of those guys in over 20 years. I know Greg went on to be some bigwig at EA, but I don’t know what happened to anyone else.

The Harley crew
The Harley crew

Me: The ending credits were pretty neat. There was a list of people you liked, which was standard fare, but then there was a list of THINGS you guys liked, which gave me a chuckle the first time I saw it. It was different.

BG: I think we were inspired by the credits in the Jim Abrahams / David Zucker movies like Airplane. They would have crazy stuff in their credits like recipes and such, so we did the same in our game.

HHA110

HHA111

HHA111b

Once again I would like to thank Brian Greenstone for taking the time. I love hearing about and discovering all these obscure facts about obscure titles like Harley’s Humongous Adventure. It isn’t the best game around but it has its moments. It’s a relic of gaming’s past… you just don’t see games like this anymore.

HHA112

Oh trust me Harley, I ain't gonna say shit...
“Oh trust me Harley — I ain’t gonna say shit…”

HHA114

Am I hear things? Eh... EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
“Am I hearing things? Eh… EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

Tecmo Super Bowl (SNES)

Pub: Tecmo | Dev: Tecmo | November 1993 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Tecmo | Dev: Tecmo | November 1993 | 8 MEGS

Admittedly, I’m not a huge football guy. Never have been. Baseball and basketball are my go-to sports. But I always make it a point to catch the Super Bowl each year. Last night, which saw the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons battle for football supremacy in Houston, was one of the best damn games I’ve ever seen. An incredible 31 unanswered points and the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history, Tom Brady captured his unprecedented fifth Super Bowl Championship (more than any other quarterback in the history of the NFL). Whether you love or hate him, you have to respect the track record. Watching the game last night inspired me to break out Tecmo Super Bowl, AKA the best football game on the Super Nintendo. Let’s stroll down memory lane…

What a game last night!
What a finish last night! A comeback for the ages, wow
Hey, that's eerily similar...
Hey, that’s eerily reminiscent…

TECMO BOWL MANIA

TecmoBowlBox

Tecmo Bowl was unleashed February 1989. This month marks its 28th birthday. My brother was obsessed with this game. Tecmo Bowl mania swept the nation as kids everywhere were glued to their TV monitors night and day. I wasn’t a football fan at the time so the game never appealed to me, but I remember the many nights that my brother stayed up late playing this game. It became something of a religion for him and countless others all across America.

TSBNESBox

Two years later, the (superior) sequel landed and despite the SNES having just been released, Tecmo Super Bowl caused many NES owners to keep their old friend plugged in. My brother played this game to death. Tecmo finally converted this game over to the SNES in November of 1993. It never made the big splash its little NES brothers did, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worthy of your time.

One of the best NES games ever
One of the best NES games ever

LET’S PLAY SOME FOOTBALL!

Fancy logo and "mascot"
Fancy logo and “mascot”
Some cool shots follow this
Some cool shots follow this

TeSuBo2

TeSuBo3

TeSuBo4

TeSuBo5

TeSuBo6

TeSuBo7

TeSuBo8

TeSuBo9

Rematch of last night's game!
Rematch of last night’s game!
The classic kick off
The classic kick off
Love those new spiffy end zones
Love those new spiffy end zones
Vintage Tecmo Super Bowl
Vintage Tecmo Super Bowl

Here is the beauty of Tecmo Super Bowl: it’s simple and instantly accessible to all. Even if you don’t know a whole lot about football, like me, you can still have a lot of fun with this one. You get eight plays to pick from. Four passing, four running. Then the opponent tries to guess which one you picked. If they guess right then it’ll be a lot easier for them to stop you. You have to look at the game situation and guess whether your rival will run or pass. After that you have a 1 in 4 chance. Good stuff.

TeSuBo16TeSuBo16b

 

 

 

 

 

Passing in the pocket? Try not to force the ball where there are defenders. Switch off to an open teammate like you see here and throw the ball his way.

TeSuBo17TeSuBo17b

 

 

 

 

 

Always satisfying to see that FIRST DOWN! flashing.

TeSuBo18TeSuBo18b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo18cTeSuBo18d

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo18eTeSuBo18f

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of satisfying, throwing a bullet to a wide open receiver and seeing him haul it in for a big gain was simply the best. I also like the white X marker and knowing your guy is about to make a huge catch. It’s the little things!

TeSuBo19TeSuBo19b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo19cTeSuBo19d

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo19eTeSuBo19f

 

 

 

 

 

Seeing your guy sprint into the opponent’s end zone never gets old. The SNES version gets these cool detailed end zones while the NES versions were a bit plain Jane. It’s not a deal breaker or anything, but I prefer the presentation of this game over the NES ones. Plus, that TOUCHDOWN! graphic is gold.

TeSuBo20TeSuBo20b

 

 

 

 

 

Taunting time! It’s also kind of fun to see old names from the past.

TeSuBo21TeSuBo21b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo21cTeSuBo21d

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo21eTeSuBo21f

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo21gTeSuBo21h

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo21iTeSuBo21j

 

 

 

 

 

Bouncing the ball off the field goal post and through always led to a sigh of relief.

TeSuBo22TeSuBo22b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo22cTeSuBo22d

 

 

 

 

 

INTERCEPTION! Depending on which side of the coin you are, it can either pump new life into your team or completely demoralize it. Especially when you see the ball sail just past the outstretched arms of your receiver.

TeSuBo23TeSuBo23b

 

 

 

 

 

Likewise, these moments can mean the difference between victory and defeat. As they say: football is a game of inches… [And so is dating -Ed.]

TeSuBo24TeSuBo24b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo25TeSuBo25b

 

 

 

 

 

Bizarre and nonsensical. At any rate, the Patriots lead 7-3 at the half.

TeSuBo27TeSuBo27b

 

 

 

 

 

Falcons open the second half in stellar fashion. It’s so sweet when your guy has a wide open field like this. Unless of course, if it’s happening against you!

TeSuBo28TeSuBo28b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo29TeSuBo29b

 

 

 

 

 

Atlanta jumps on top, 10-7. I really like how this game received the Super Mario All-Stars treatment. It’s essentially the NES version but with 1993 rosters and much improved visuals. Love those end zones.

TeSuBo30TeSuBo30b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo30cTeSuBo30d

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo30eTeSuBo30f

 

 

 

 

 

Seeing one of your receivers break free and make himself wide open for a bullet pass is another part I take great pleasure in.

TeSuBo31TeSuBo31b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo31cTeSuBo31d

 

 

 

 

 

Running it into the end zone like a boss. 14-10 Patriots!

TeSuBo33TeSuBo33b

 

 

 

 

 

Certain big plays, like a quarterback sack, triggers a cinematic shot.

TeSuBo34TeSuBo34b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo35TeSuBo35b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo36TeSuBo36b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo37TeSuBo37b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo38TeSuBo38b

 

 

 

 

 

Hitting a streaking player for a big gain never failed to get you pumped. Even better is the visual of 10 savages trailing you like a pack of hungry wolves eyeing a piece of meat. Oh, and barely running past two diving defenders. Epic.

TeSuBo40TeSuBo40b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo41TeSuBo41b

 

 

 

 

 

Punch it in the end zone and kick the extra point. 21-17 Patriots.

TeSuBo39TeSuBo42

 

 

 

 

 

Offensive and defensive accomplishments are treated dramatically.

TeSuBo43TeSuBo43b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo44TeSuBo44b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo45TeSuBo45b

 

 

 

 

 

Almost as dramatic as last night’s Super Bowl! Down 4 points with under a minute to go, Miller tries to connect with Williams during the most important drive of his career. Miller spots his target and throws a bullet pass. It looks like Williams is about to make an amazing diving catch to save the game but alas, INTERCEPTION! You can imagine how intense 2 player games can get…

TeSuBo46TeSuBo46b

 

 

 

 

 

Similar to last night’s insane Super Bowl game, the Patriots barely squeak ahead. A final stats screen is shown at the end.

“WEATHER” IT’S RAINY OR SNOWY…

New weather effects, yeah!
New weather effects, yeah!

The NES versions didn’t have this cool feature. OK, so it doesn’t affect gameplay (too bad, it should have). But hey, more options never hurt even if it’s just cosmetic. And quite frankly, I love the rain in particular. It lends Tecmo Super Bowl a lovely little atmosphere!

TeSuBo48TeSuBo47b

 

 

 

 

 

Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past rain this is not. But it’s not shabby!

TeSuBo48bTeSuBo49

 

 

 

 

 

Check out how the rain splatters against the grass. It’s a really nice effect and makes playing this game during a rainy Sunday morning extra fun. Hell, you even see rain in the cut scenes. Neat!

TeSuBo51TeSuBo51b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo52TeSuBo52b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo52cTeSuBo52d

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes a play will be spliced in with a cut scene and only adds to the drama of the whole thing. These moments are handled perfectly. They’re seamless rather than intrusive. And let’s face it, they’re just plain fun.

TeSuBo53TeSuBo53b

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo54TeSuBo54b

 

 

 

 

 

Gorgeous! Gotta love that heavy rain. What could have been if only the Falcons kicked a field goal last night… tsk tsk…

TeSuBo55TeSuBo55b

 

 

 

 

 

Giving the snow some love too, although it’s not as impressive.

TeSuBo56TeSuBoCrit2

 

 

 

 

 

TeSuBo57TeSuBo57b

 

 

 

 

 

Definitely adds a nice flair, especially if you play this while it’s actually snowing outside.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

TeSuBoCrit

Most fans tend to cite NES Tecmo Super Bowl as the definitive version, but there are a handful that vouch for the SNES version. EGM gave it scores of 8, 7, 7, 6 and 6. Some were a bit disappointed that you still can’t switch defenders once a play is live. Or the fact that you can’t grab the ball out of the air on a booted pass. And speaking of missed opportunities, there’s no sound effect for the rain. Imagine how much better it would have been if you could hear the pitter-patter of the rain drops. I suppose one can’t have it all, eh?

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Tecmo Super Bowl is the best SNES football game you can play. It’s got fast and crisp gameplay, a playbook to customize your own set of plays, a battery backed season mode (I love how you can play a season in literally a single weekend), improved 16-bit visuals, and a couple new options the NES version never had. These include a diving play (handy for when you’re half a yard short of a touchdown or first down) and a touchback option. I’m not the biggest football fan but I love this game and would probably rate it even higher if I were a complete football nut.

It’s the kind of game you can pick up and play whenever, then forget about for a while but months or even years later come roaring back and find yourself spending a weekend or two with. There’s something magical about that. I also like that the games don’t take long; you can sneak in a quick game before bed. Also, injuries can occur if you play the season mode. When a player is healthy to return, you get an amusing cut scene of said player leaving the hospital (Tecmo Hospital, naturally) waving to his doctor and nurses. He’s armed with a bouquet of flowers and is decked out in his full football uniform, as if these guys wear their jerseys while recovering in the hospital. This scene never fails to make me smile. That and it’s always great to get an injured star player back!

Gets me every time! :)
Gets me every single damn time!  :)

Tecmo Super Bowl has earned its legend for a good reason. I think the SNES version is awesome and easily the best football title on the Super Nintendo. The Tecmo Super Bowl sequels weren’t as great and some of the Madden games are very good but it’s tough to beat the arcade action of a Tecmo Super Bowl. Sorry — this game definitely scores a touchdown!

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8.5
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 9.5

Overall: 9.0

Gold Award
Gold Award

 

 

 

Few games have infiltrated pop culture like Tecmo (Super) Bowl.

And because it’s football, and it’s awesome:

Damn that theme never gets old. Timeless! Just like Tecmo Super Bowl :)

Equinox (SNES)

Pub: Sony | Dev: Software Creations | March 1994 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Sony | Dev: Software Creations | March 1994 | 8 MEGS

During the summer of 1990, Software Creations released a NES title by the name of Solstice. Based off 1984’s Knight Lore, players use a wizard named Shadax who goes from one isometric room to another. It was a long challenging action puzzle quest, with one crushing flaw — there was no password or save feature. Three years later the same firm cranked out a sequel for the SNES with a proper save system. Glendaal, son of Shadax, finds himself in a mad rush to save his imprisoned father from the vile clutches of Sonia the witch. It’s hard and a bit tricky but it can be fairly addicting and rewards those who persevere.

QUELLING A CHILDHOOD CURIOSITY

I was curious about this game for 20 years...
I was curious about this game for over 20 years…

I vividly remember seeing Equinox previewed in EGM and GameFan back in 1994. The screenshots had me intrigued. There just weren’t very many isometric games on the SNES at the time. It looked like an enticing mix of adventure and action puzzle. It captivated my imagination. But as it often was back in the day, my brother had the final say in the games we rented. And unfortunately for me, Equinox never tickled his fancy enough to make him want to rent it. Thus, Equinox became one of over 100 Super Nintendo games I always wanted to play but never did. In December of 2014, after over 20 years, I finally righted a childhood wrong. 24 hours of total play time and a thousand deaths later, I was able to reunite Glendaal with his dad, Shadax. Back in ’94 I always had this gut feeling that this was an awesome game. And I’m proud to say it comes awfully close to being just that. As I sat back to watch the father and son duo reconvene in a bout of redemption, a feeling of pride swelled deep from within. Few things are as satisfying in this great hobby of ours than finally quelling a longstanding childhood curiosity. Not only that but conquering and loving every second of it. Good times.

Today marks 11 years!
Today marks 11 years!

Yes indeed, as I write this it’s Monday, January 30, 2017. Exactly 11 years ago, on Monday, January 30, 2006, I bought a copy of Equinox at my childhood Hollywood Video store. 11 years. Where does the time go?

I loved their buy 2 get 1 free deal :)
I loved their buy two, get one free deal :)

Back in the day (mid 2000s) Hollywood Video used to house a Game Crazy within its store. They sold modern and retro games. They had a buy two retro games, get one free deal that I took advantage of multiple times. Game Crazy was low key awesome back in 2006.

This is my actual childhood Hollywood Video location :)
This is my actual childhood Hollywood Video store!

Childhood curiosity purchased from my childhood store? Perfect! Man, I used to go to this Hollywood Video back in the ’90s all the time. It opened in early 1994 and lasted all the way to 2010. This shot was taken on a cold rainy Monday night in January 2006. It just captures those innocent early SNES resurrection days of mine to a tee. Driving all over town, including my old stomping grounds, to hit up all the local Game Crazy stores within a 100 mile radius, all in the good name of reclaiming bits and pieces from my childhood. This picture just epitomizes the splendor and rush of those early days. 11 years… 11 freaking years. Wow.

Oh the weather outside is frightful...
OH, THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL…

THE STORY GOES…

EquinoxRVG5

EquinoxRVG6

EquinoxRVG7EquinoxRVG7b

 

 

 

 

 

Better late than never… it was arguably worth the wait.

EquinoxRVG8

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, ER, EQUINOX

It may look simple but it certainly isn't
It may look simple but it certainly isn’t
Stock up on weapons, spells, potions, apples and keys
Stock up on weapons, spells, potions, keys and more
Zap and save are my favorite magic spells of the lot
Zap and save are my favorite magic spells of the lot
Finding each weapon on each continent is critical
Finding each weapon on each continent is critical
Change your weapon or spell whenever you like
Change your weapon or spell whenever you like
Each realm has 3-4 different hubs that all link together
Each realm has 3-4 different hubs that link together

EquinoxRVG15

You can rotate the screen on the overworld map. Nifty
You can rotate the screen on the overworld map

EquinoxRVG17

1. Galadonia
2. Tori
3. Deeso
4. Atlena
5. Quagmire
6. Afralona
7. Ghost Ship
8. Death Island

THE BIG BAD BOSSES

EquinoxRVG18Don’t let the ‘LIFE’ meter fool you. One hit and you’re dead. LIFE merely symbolizes how many lives you have left. So you can imagine how intense the boss battles must be. They take a good amount of damage before biting the dust. As they turn red and face the brink of extermination, the tension mounts to a fever pitch. The first boss is Bonehead. I found him to be far tougher than almost all the other bosses due to his seemingly unpredictable and erratic pattern. It took me several tries and it may take you just as many, too.

EquinoxRVG19Sung Sung is the mammoth guardian of the second world (Tori). He’s an impressive sight. Towering over our hero, I remember seeing him in screenshots back in ’94 and being secretly afraid of him. I love his design. It’s so badass. Sung Sung likes to burrow deep below the earth before popping back up to toss giant boulders your way. He’s more bark than bite, however. His pattern is easy to figure out and it becomes a matter of standing in the right spots only to move when necessary. This pattern becomes the majority of the boss battles in Equinox.

EquinoxRVG20Quetzalcoatl is the end level guardian of Deeso. Deeso is a barren desert kingdom whose eerie dungeons are littered (and maybe haunted) with the remains of an ancient civilization. Quetzalcoatl, which means “feathered serpent,” is a Mesoamerican deity whose name comes from the Nahuatl language. It fits the whole ancient civilization feel of the stage. As you pelt away at the giant living statue, it breaks down one block at a time. At the very end there’s a nasty little surprise in store for you. I won’t spoil it but let’s just say you might need a fresh pair of underpants ready…

EquinoxRVG21Pincha uses his claws to guard his vulnerable eyes. Shoot him when he swipes his claws and you just might nail him. Once you figure out where to stand, Pincha becomes a bit of a cakewalk. But be careful — as he weakens he can spaz out which makes his sudden movements rather unpredictable and dangerous.

EquinoxRVG22Despite being the most generic enemy in the world of RPGs, Equinox‘s graphics are so impressive that even a simple looking giant blob creature still looks pretty damn cool. Especially when he turns red right before his imminent demise. Dollop is the final obstacle in your journey to collect all five strings. Once you have all five strings you can play the harp which sends you to the kingdom of Afralona. Dollop bounces around the screen, sending out smaller versions of himself. You may never look at grape Jell-O the same ever again… [Oh, Bill Cosby already took care of that -Ed.]

EquinoxRVG23Eyesis [ISIS?! -Ed.] is a gigantic spinning pyramid with excellent defense. Its only weak spot being its eye up top. Your dexterity game needs to be on point as Eyesis spins around like a rampaging tornado. Once again this is another boss fight that isn’t so bad once you suss out the pattern. So far I find Bonehead to be the most effective and challenging boss. So if you can thwart Bonehead, then these next handful of bosses shouldn’t be too hard. Their bark is far tougher than their bite. Still, they all look badass and feel awesome to take down.

EquinoxRVG25The troll isn’t a boss [you straight trollin’ now -Ed.] but he’s such a cool design I had to show him off. Trolls litter the overworld map. If one touches you on the map, you’re taken to a separate screen where it’s a fight to the finish. You can beat the game without fighting a single troll but it’s ill-advised. Beating them has benefits such as gaining an extra life meter whenever you’ve conquered a world. Trolls come in various colors just like in real life. Their only form of offense is hopping around. Trolls can be tricky due to their size and the small single screen so don’t take them lightly.

EquinoxRVG26Billy Bones, the maniacal captain of the ghostly galleon, fires off cannonballs relentlessly until he’s dead. He doesn’t think. He doesn’t feel. He doesn’t stop. Pumping out cannonballs like no one’s business, Billy is straight up savage. He is all that stands between you and Death Island. Beat Mr. Bones and advance to Ice Palace — Sonia’s last stand.

EquinoxRVG27Are you ready for the final showdown? Tough as nails, Sonia is only vulnerable in the face during a certain period of time. To make matters even worse, her fireballs move around the screen. Thankfully they can be shot down but they do require several shots to eradicate. Sonia’s cloak turns more red as her health diminishes. By the time she is a crimson red, your heartbeat is sure to be racing a million beats a minute. It took me roughly 30 tries to beat her. I came close several times but a boneheaded mistake would cost me the battle. Finally, I locked in and kicked her ass. I’ve since tried to beat her a second time but have not been able to. She’s a tough cookie. The whole game is pretty tough but never impossible, so it’s fitting for Sonia to be a stiff challenge.

The ad made the bosses look badass and SCARY
The ad made the bosses look badass and SCARY

1. GALADONIA

EquinoxRVG29

EquinoxRVG30

EquinoxRVG31

EquinoxRVG32

EquinoxRVG33

EquinoxRVG34

EquinoxRVG35

2. TORI

This spell proves to be extremely handy later on...
This spell proves to be extremely handy later on…
Later on weapons and spells aren't out in the open
Later on weapons and spells aren’t out in the open
Equinox's many secrets makes exploring rather fun!
Equinox‘s many secrets makes exploring rather fun!

EquinoxRVG39EquinoxRVG39b

 

 

 

 

 

Because these guys can only be killed when shot in the back (the only part of their fat bodies not covered up with armor), the slow spell is the only way to kill these bastards. For the hassle you get a green key. A key can be used only once. Gotta collect ‘em all!

EquinoxRVG40EquinoxRVG40b

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes killing all enemies on screen earns you a key. Other times you’ll get a token. Either way, securing the latest key or token is a mini-rush. It’s what makes Equinox addicting — grabbing the latest elusive item to inch your way closer to your goal.

EquinoxRVG41EquinoxRVG41b

 

 

 

 

 

Games can easily be ruined by poor design, especially when you have such massive worlds. Thankfully, the keys and tokens are all placed in perfect position. Equinox is a giant puzzle where each piece connects. Be ready to make countless leaps of faith, including the kind where you must bend in mid-air. These mid-air jumps were always fun, albeit tricky. There’s a slight learning curve but pretty soon you’ll kick ass.

EquinoxRVG42

3. DEESO

EquinoxRVG43

EquinoxRVG44

EquinoxRVG45

Think P.U.S.H (PUSH UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!)
Think P.U.S.H (PUSH UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!)

EquinoxRVG47EquinoxRVG47b

 

 

 

 

 

Jumps become progressively more difficult. Imagine inching yourself all the way to the edge of a platform. Then leaping as high and far as you can to barely land pixel perfect on the edge of the next platform. The jumps are doable yet rather brutal — therein lies the brilliance.

EquinoxRVG48EquinoxRVG48b

 

 

 

 

 

Partly what accounts for the jumps being so difficult has to do with the lack of shadows. Too many times it’s hard to determine exactly where a platform is. Therefore, seemingly easy jumps can easily be miscalculated. It takes some time and patience to work out the kinks but the game was so addictive that I found myself constantly saying, “JUST ONE MORE TRY…”

EquinoxRVG49EquinoxRVG49b

 

 

 

 

 

Many of the rooms have some sort of puzzle to work out. Some are easier to figure out than others, while some involve multiple gimmicks. Here you must first push a block over before leaping on top of the iron gate. Wait for it to rise and then grab the token. SUH-WEET!

EquinoxRVG50EquinoxRVG50b

 

 

 

 

 

Contend with a frisky ghost in uncomfortably close quarters. Then make your way to the top of the gate while avoiding the spikes to collect the token. Good stuff.

4. ATLENA

EquinoxRVG51EquinoxRVG51b

 

 

 

 

 

Lying just south of Deeso, Atlena is a handful of villages supported by wooden platforms. It floats above the murky dungeon world of a sunken castle.

EquinoxRVG52EquinoxRVG52b

 

 

 

 

 

Atlena has a stellar underwater atmosphere. Unfortunately, what these shots don’t show are the constant water currents that flow throughout. The whole level is rather breathtaking.

EquinoxRVG53EquinoxRVG53b

 

 

 

 

 

Gotta love all the seaweed that’s strewn about. The enormous eggs add an extra sense of mystery and intrigue. What’s inside? More importantly, is the mother lurking around somewhere? Meanwhile, the Green Devil there can only be killed with the zap spell.

EquinoxRVG54EquinoxRVG54b

 

 

 

 

 

Many often cite Atlena as one of the hardest levels in the entire game. I didn’t find it too tough personally, but there is a noticeable difficulty spike that occurs here.

I just have to show the awesome watery visuals ^_^
I just have to show the awesome watery visuals  ^_^
ProTip: Atlena is flooded [har har -Ed.] with invisible doors
ProTip: Atlena is flooded (sorry) with invisible doors
Atlena is absolutely mesmerizing
Atlena is absolutely mesmerizing
Some tokens can only be acquired via an invisible door
Some tokens can only be had via an invisible door
Stuck in a room with no key? Look for a hidden door
Stuck in a room with no key? Look for a hidden door
Some hidden entrances are obscure as bloody hell...
Some hidden entrances are obscure as bloody hell…

5. QUAGMIRE

EquinoxRVG61

South of Tori, Quagmire (love that name) is a swampy, fetid place worthy of its name. It’s difficult to navigate as death surrounds you.

EquinoxRVG61b

Some of the most brutal pixel perfect jumps in the entire game call Quagmire home.

EquinoxRVG62

Each world has its own unique feel and vibe. Quagmire is one of my favorite levels because of its bewitching atmosphere.

EquinoxRVG62b

The mix of greens, blues and purples blend to create a gorgeous and haunting underground universe.

Quagmire has tortuous pixel perfect jumps.

Look no further than trying to jump from a moving platform on to another platform surrounded by death on both sides. Brutal!

EquinoxRVG64

Each hub entrance drops you into a different part of the dungeon. A rope ladder allows you to exit if you find one particular area of a dungeon too difficult to begin with. This is valuable because other than the save spell (which is found late in the game), exiting a hub is the only way to save.

EquinoxRVG64b

And remember, whenever in doubt, push!

EquinoxRVG65

Thought moving platforms were evil? Just wait until you encounter platforms that automatically slide you off unless you push in the opposite direction. Falling off at any point leads to an early death and room reset.

EquinoxRVG65b

Equinox will test your sanity at times!

EquinoxRVG66

So far, so easy. So far…

EquinoxRVG66b

Confession time: this room killed me 40 times until I figured out you can’t actually jump over the taller plant. You had to jump over the smaller one and THEN twist in mid-air to land safely on the other side. Yup, moments like this sure humble you.

EquinoxRVG67

Some of the more clever puzzles involve using the bad guys to unintentionally lend you a helping hand. Sometimes you can’t kill them if you want to grab a key or token. Other times you can only get a key or token after killing all the enemies in a room. It’s this back and forth mystery that makes it so much fun to play.

EquinoxRVG67b

Thankfully enemies respawn in certain rooms (after exiting said room) if they’re not meant to be killed. Well, except for one infamous glitch crashing room, ahem, which I’ll highlight a bit later on.

Quagmire has crazy hidden doors, just like Atlena
Quagmire has crazy hidden doors, just like Atlena

EquinoxRVG69

EquinoxRVG70

EquinoxRVG71

EquinoxRVG72

EquinoxRVG73

TROLL LIVES MATTER
TROLL LIVES MATTER

EquinoxRVG75

EquinoxRVG76

EquinoxRVG77

6. AFRALONA

[Har har -Ed.]
[Har har -Ed.]
ProTip: You might want to check the wall behind you...
ProTip: You might want to check the wall behind you
The scimitar is slow but strong
The scimitar is slow but strong
These pixel perfect jumps can be pretty brutal
These pixel perfect jumps can be pretty brutal
Afralona is balls to the walls [Don't ever review Ballz -Ed.]
Afralona is balls to the walls [Never review Ballz -Ed.]

7. GHOST SHIP

No turning back now...
No turning back now…
Fun gimmick that makes the Ghost Ship super tough
Fun gimmick that makes the Ghost Ship super tough

8. ICE PALACE

EquinoxRVG85

EquinoxRVG86

EquinoxRVG87

EquinoxRVG88

The Twin Swords are by far the best weapon in Equinox
The Twin Swords turns you into a killing machine
Some keys are harder to attain than the actual tokens
Some keys are harder to grab than the actual tokens
The final boss fight is as intense as it gets!
The final boss fight is as intense as it gets!

Sonia is one wicked tough ultimate boss. Remember, one hit and you’re dead (ignore the LIFE meter there). As Sonia weakens, she turns more and more red. By the time she’s a crimson red the pressure really mounts as you’re so close to your end goal — one lapse in focus can send you back to the very beginning of this long and arduous final battle!

ICE PALACE’S FATAL FLAW DEBUNKED

Dead end? Not so fast...
Dead end? Not so fast…

Before playing Equinox for the first time, I came across a post claiming that the last world has a critical flaw. If you forget to grab a key and you pass a certain point then there is no way to backtrack, thus leaving you in a dead zone. You can imagine what happens if you save right before. You would, in theory, have to start an entirely new game! I thought I reached that point of no return when I failed to acquire a certain key and found myself stuck in said infamous room. In my initial attempts to backtrack, I first scaled those two pillars there. Each time I would jump off but end up landing on the spikes. No matter how hard I tried, I could not clear the spikes. I was stuck. And screwed. Or so it seemed…

Whew...
Whew…

In reality, you CAN safely backtrack. But you mustn’t jump. All you had to do was simply step off the ledge and a hidden block will reveal itself. D’oh. Again, this game has moments that are sure to humble ya.

GHOST SHIP’S FATAL FLAW

EquinoxRVG94

EquinoxRVG95

You get four save slots. It's wise to use multiple slots...
You get four save slots. It’s wise to use multiple slots

THE GREAT EQUINOX EQUALIZER

You're not quite invincible but you do get infinite lives
You’re not quite invincible, but you get infinite lives

With infinite lives and magic, you can die as many times as you like with the safety net of knowing you always come back. It’s nice and works well for this game especially seeing as how it’s one hit and you’re dead. Not only that, but the “difficult to make things out” perspective and questionable collision detection is thrown out the window with this code. I limited my spell usage but I would be lying if I didn’t say having infinite lives made it so much more enjoyable.

There's no shame in making it a bit more fair
There’s no shame in making it a bit more fair

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Equinox was featured on GameFan's issue #2 cover
Equinox was featured on GameFan’s issue #2 cover

Although released in March of 1994, Equinox first appeared in gaming magazines as early as late ’92. It’s featured on the cover of GameFan’s second issue. The import version was even reviewed that same issue, but the US version would not be reviewed until some 15 issues later. Equinox fared well with the critics. EGM gave it scores of 7, 7, 8, 8 and 8. GameFan rated it 90% and 96%. Super Play, who was notoriously difficult to please, gave it an impressive 90% rating. GameFan rated this game a second time when it hit American shores in early ’94. By then GameFan had changed its reviewing system. Rather than giving an overall score, they simply tallied up the numbers from five categories (so the highest score was 50). I never liked it, and apparently neither did they or the readers as the magazine soon returned to its classic “out of 100” review format :)

EquinoxRVG101

EquinoxRVG102

EquinoxRVG103

EquinoxRVG104

EquinoxRVG105

Super Play ranked it #47 on their Top 100 SNES games list
Super Play put it #47 on the Top 100 SNES games list
It's not for everyone, but damn did I really like it!
It’s not for everyone, but damn did I really like it!

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Equinox grabs you with its long labyrinths and big bosses
Equinox‘s long labyrinths and big bosses bewitch you

Equinox is a game I had been curious about for over 20 years before I finally played it. I had high hopes for it as a kid back in ’94 but until you finally experience a title for yourself, you just never know if it’s truly any good or not. There’s always this sense of excitement and apprehension. One part of you hopes that it lives up to your imagination after all these years, while another part fears the worst. I’m happy to say Equinox met every bit of my expectations. From huge intimidating bosses to atmospheric lengthy labyrinths, Equinox permeates this lonely feeling of being the last man on earth. It’s just you, your mettle and the voices screaming in your head as you stare down the deadly dungeons and catacombs lost to time in which mankind was never meant to explore. Equinox is intoxicating. It’s an arduous quest sure to frustrate you as much as it will reward.

Adventure and action awaits!
Adventure and action awaits!

Equinox has some amazing visuals. Each world takes you on a grand and different adventure. The ancient civilization of Deeso is filled with grotesque statues leering at you, more effective than any “No Trespassing” sign ever seen in a horror movie. Quagmire takes you to a lush plant underworld with death snapping at your heels each step of the way. The airy caverns of Tori conveys this grand sense of being deep below the surface, staving off evil spirits and armored knights. The sound effects are equally as effective. Famous composer Tim Follin (best known for SNES Rock N’ Roll Racing) did some of his finest work here. The ambiance is awesome. Pushing giant marble stones across the floor never sounded more convincing. And I love the sound effect of a token dropping any time you enter a room with a token to be found. It lets you know that room has a token. Each realm is perfectly complimented by Follin’s masterful command of sound and music. The game is tough as hell. While the perspective can be a bitch and cost you many lives you feel you shouldn’t have lost, it’s not a deal breaker by any means. Especially with the code implemented, Equinox is simply mystifying. It’s one of those games where you just have to see the next room and you just have to give it “one more try.” There aren’t enough SNES games like this. It’s not quite a classic but it’s a very strong entry in the long running line of quality SNES titles.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 8.5
Longevity: 7

OVERALL: 8.5

Double Silver Award
Double Silver Award

 

 

 

This legendary ad won "Ad of the Year" back in 1994
This legendary ad won “Ad of the Year” back in 1994
The idea was you couldn't beat the game in a lifetime
The idea is you couldn’t beat the game in a lifetime
Damn right he would
Damn right he would!

You eventually die failing to beat it. Your grandson takes over and wins. He would have wanted it that way :)

How fitting, considering the father-son connection
How fitting, considering the father-son connection
Nothing bonds dad and son like catch a magic carpet ride
Nothing bonds dad and son like catch magic carpet ride

EquinoxRVG115

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang (SNES)

Pub: BPS | Dev: RED | June 1994 | 8 MEGS
Pub: BPS | Dev: RED | June 1994 | 8 MEGS

The Super Nintendo enjoyed many quality years during its run. I personally believe 1994 was its best year in terms of quality and quantity. The SNES not only hit its stride but it also hit the most home runs that year. Super Metroid, Final Fantasy III, Donkey Kong Country, the list goes on and on. Among those heavy hitters you had a string of solid doubles. These games flew under the radar because they weren’t big names. They’re not as good as the AAA classics but they sure have a place in any robust SNES collection. The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is one such example. Lost in the shuffle at the time, today it finally enjoys the recognition it so richly deserves. But just in case you missed it, here’s a closer look!

THE TWISTED TALES OF LITTLE DRACULA?!

LittleDracFront

Confession time. I loved monsters growing up but I was never a big fan of Dracula. He was always kinda meh to me. However, one morning in the early ’90s I was channel surfing when I came across a brand new cartoon, Little Dracula. I was instantly hooked. There was something about a kid Dracula that greatly appealed to me. Not too long after my dad bought me a Little Dracula action figure and I carried it around with me almost everywhere I went. Sad I know, but hey, I was a kid! Fast forward to the summer of ’94. When I saw the EGM preview of Spike McFang I instantly thought about my dear old friend, Little Dracula. For a second there I even wondered if Spike McFang was loosely based off Little Dracula. Sadly I never got around to playing Spike McFang until my SNES resurrection in 2006. I was determined to buy all my childhood favorites as well as all the games I always wanted to play but never did. So was it worth the wait? You bet your glowing eyes it was!

Ah, the memories
Ah, the memories
He even had his own little comic mini-series!
He even had his own little comic mini-series!

THE STORY GOES…

SpikeMcFang

Together, they ruled over the land peacefully
Together, they ruled over the land peacefully

SpikeMcFang2

SpikeMcFang3

SpikeMcFang4

SpikeMcFang5

SpikeMcFang6

SpikeMcFang7

SpikeMcFang8

STARRING AND CO-STARRING…

SpikeMcFang9

SpikeMcFang10

ITEMS AND SKILLS

SpikeMcFang11

SpikeMcFang12

Spike has two ways to attack. For starters, you can chuck his top hat at the bad guys. The hat starts out basic but there are variations you can upgrade to which makes this attack far more potent and efficient.

SpikeMcFang13SpikeMcFang13bSpikeMcFang13c

Another way to kill bad guys: Spike’s deadly cape. But don’t spin too much or else you’ll disorient the little guy!

MAPQUEST

SpikeMcFang14

A. Fighter Island
B. Batland
C. Castle Dracuman
D. Ratville
E. Kalala Desert
F. Village of Vampires
G. Ice Palace
H. Jungle of Mazes
I. Castle Von Hesler

LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

"Spike, you've also played too many SNES games!"
“Spike, you’ve also played too many SNES games!”
"I know that scent anywhere. Not that I like her..."
“I know that scent ANYWHERE. Not that I like her…”
"Damn Spike, she told you!"
“Damn Spike, she told you!”
"Can we crank up that ride over there to 88 MPH?"
“Can we crank up that ride over there to 88 MPH?”
The fate of the islands lies in your young hands...
The fate of the land lies in your young hands…
Spike lacks a bit of respect for his elders, see...
Spike lacks a bit of respect for his elders, see…

Clarence puts young Spike through a series of tests. Play the following if you’d like some musical accompaniment. Let’s check out the first test…

SpikeMcFang22

SpikeMcFang23

SpikeMcFang24

SpikeMcFang25SpikeMcFang25b

 

 

 

 

 

Aaa-ohh HEY you!  Who said that, baby how you been?
You say you don’t knoooow, you won’t know until you begin
Can’t you see me standing here, I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen. Oh can’t you see what I mean?

Might as well jump. Jump!  Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. Jump!  Go ahead, jump. JUMP!

[Alright, back to our regularly scheduled programming -Ed.]

SpikeMcFang26

SpikeMcFang27

SpikeMcFang28

Whoa, creepy! All those voices muttering at once...
Whoa, creepy! All those voices muttering at once…

SpikeMcFang30

SpikeMcFang31

SpikeMcFang32SpikeMcFang32b

 

 

 

 

 

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

SpikeMcFang33

SpikeMcFang34SpikeMcFang34bSpikeMcFang34c

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here we see how effective throwing his hat can be. It’s a great long range weapon when you can’t rely on Spike’s spinning cape.

Tell us how you REALLY feel, Spike...
Tell us how you REALLY feel, Spike…
[Why do I have a bad feeling about this... -Ed.]
[Why do I have a bad feeling about this… -Ed.]
The bridge gives way but luckily Spike catches a ride
The bridge gives way but luckily Spike catches a ride

SpikeMcFang38

Eventually, Spike and Clarence duke it out. It’s the timeless tale of student vs. teacher, pupil vs. master, mentee vs. mentor. Defeat Clarence to earn his respect and fulfill one rite of passage. Plenty more to come!

Ah that cheeky little Spike. Off to Batland!
Ah that cheeky little Spike. Off to Batland!

BATLAND BECKONS…

Recharge AND save your game. SUH-WEET
Recharge AND save your game. SUH-WEET

Ever heard of the term energy thief? These people talk to you and do nothing but sap your energy by being incredibly self-centered. They just love to talk your ear off. The good news? Professor Steam is quite the opposite! Talking to him restores your health. What a charmer, eh? Meanwhile, Mr. Stonehead will save your game. As the song goes, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Talk to the townsfolk. They have useful info...
Talk to the townsfolk. They might have useful info…
These scenes remind me of Mr. Rogers... the castle bits...
This oddly reminds me of Mr. Rogers (the castle bits)
"Von Hesler took the king you say? Why I'm right here!"
“Von Hesler took the king you say? Why I’m right here!”
Who needs Batman?!
Who needs Batman?!
It's wise to stock up on some magic cards
It’s wise to stock up on some magic cards

SpikeMcFang48SpikeMcFang48b

 

 

 

 

GLLUUURRKK! For 20 gold he’ll crank out a random card for ya. Never know what you’ll get. Fun, useful and doesn’t cost much at all. The best of all worlds.

SpikeMcFang49SpikeMcFang49b

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carry different cards and switch them by using the shoulder buttons. Simply press A during battle to activate the selected card. They range in purpose; some are more useful than others. Best saved for boss battles.

SpikeMcFang50SpikeMcFang50b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like other action RPGs (although I’d classify this game more as an arcade action adventure), Spike can level up accordingly at different intervals. This increases his health points. It’s as basic as can be. No ring menus here. Just press start, get to hacking and let the good times roll.

SpikeMcFang51SpikeMcFang51b

 

 

 

 

 

Colonel Hydra has invaded the castle of Dracuman and has placed her spunky spitfire of a daughter, Felina, in charge.

SpikeMcFang52

Slain enemies occasionally leave pocket change
Slain enemies occasionally leave pocket change
Or the big guy if you're lucky
Or the big guy if you’re lucky!
Secret of Mana's tree has nothing on this
Secret of Mana‘s tree has nothing on this

SpikeMcFang56SpikeMcFang56b

 

 

 

 

 

Ah nevermind. No secrets. Just Spike freaking McFang.

SpikeMcFang57

Bloody sharks!
Bloody sharks!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the… moat. I love the chibi look of this game. Spike looks like a Duplo toy figure. It’s all very endearing and captures your fancy in a way that you wish more games would.

SpikeMcFang59

"Looking for shark food? Oh, um, about that, Sid..."
“Looking for shark food? Oh, um, about that, Sid…”

Sid is Spike’s trusty old moat-dwelling er, brontosaurus type thingy… friend… yeah. Look, let’s just say he’s super helpful!

Ah might as well jump. Go ahead an' jump. JUMP!
Ah might as well JUMP [… the shark? -Ed.]
And you thought all those jumping tests by Clarence way back when was just for his cruel amusement. Not so!

Ah can’t ya see me standin’ here
I got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen
Ah can’t ya see what I mean

[Look, I love Van Halen as much as the next guy but… -Ed.]

"LET THIS BE A LESSON, WHIPPERSNAPPER!"
“LET THIS BE A LESSON, WHIPPERSNAPPER!”

Funny moment, this. Spike gets a little too cocky for his own good. And this Stone Head, well, he doesn’t take kindly to young ‘uns disrespecting elders. Blockhead sends Spike smashing through a wall!

Never disrespect your elders. Ever
Never disrespect your elders. Ever

Next time you feel like opening your mouth and spouting off, kids — THINK TWICE, BE NICE. On the bright side, for your troubles you do get to save your game.

SpikeMcFang64

It's the inside that counts...
It’s the inside that counts…
Moments like this are oddly addicting and compelling
Moments like this are oddly compelling
Better think fast, Spike!
Better think fast, Spike!

Here we come to another entertaining bit. Spike attempts to spring off with the greatest of ease. Unfortunately for him, he’s a bit of a klutz you see. Poor guy, he goes crashing into the dirty moat water below.

Good news: You killed all the sharks.

Bad news: You can’t swim.

SpikeMcFang68

It's Sid boy to the rescue!
It’s Sid boy to the rescue!

SpikeMcFang70SpikeMcFang70b

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some friends will always have your back. Be good to them!

Where's Jeff Daniels when ya need him?!
Where’s Jeff Daniels when ya need him?!
Kill it to get the key. Watch out for its babies
Kill it to get the key. Watch out for its babies

Damn, you knew the mother spider had to be hiding out somewhere…

Such a sweet feeling hitting enemies diagonally
Such a sweet feeling hitting enemies diagonally
Fun little "boss" fight this is
Fun little “boss” fight this is

SpikeMcFang75SpikeMcFang75b

 

 

 

 

 

These annoying felines do their best to impede Spike’s quest.

Whoa, what happened to his face...
Whoa, what happened to his face…

SpikeMcFang77

SpikeMcFang78

SpikeMcFang79

Who will win? Only you can decide!

EXTRA EXTRA

Rudy joins Spike. There's a 2 player code...
There’s a 2 player code…

Later in your adventure Rudy joins you. He’s a handy companion helper controlled by the computer. But there’s actually a code that allows Player 2 to control Rudy. At the title screen press Down, B, Left, B, Up, Y, Right, Y. One of the best SNES codes ever!

I like the dialogue you have with the various NPCs
I like the dialogue you have with the various NPCs

The townsfolk add some solid atmosphere to the game. I just wish there was even more NPC interaction and that the journey was a bit lengthier.

Hmm, I wonder who that stranger could be...
Hmm, I wonder who that stranger could be…
Spike finally telling Camelia like it is. Nice
Spike finally telling Camelia like it is. Nice
And now he's giving fashion advice! What a versatile lad...
And now he’s giving fashion advice! What a top chap
Nice save there, Rudy. Quick on his feet, that one
Nice save there, Rudy. Quick on his feet, that one
Quick on his tongue too...
Quick with his tongue too…

SpikeMcFang88

The gift flower is super helpful. Gifts of all sorts sprout out when you smack it. However, hit it too many times and it disappears. But maybe try going off-screen and coming back…

"GET YO ASS BACK HERE, RUDY!"
“GET YO ASS BACK HERE, RUDY!”
Hey where have I seen you before?
Hey where have I seen you before?
Oh yeah, the PlayStation/Saturn 3D platformer!
Ah yes, the PlayStation/Saturn 3D platformer!
Croc was a classic guilty pleasure
Croc was a classic guilty pleasure
It had flaws but was fun in its own way
It had flaws but was fun in its own way
Um, ok...
Um, ok…
This reminds me of the old Amiga/SNES game Whizz
This reminds me of the old Amiga/SNES game, Whizz
Spike McFang came out first
Spike McFang came out first, mind
Something going on between Spike and Camelia?
Something going on between Spike and Camelia?
Nothing fishy going on here, nope...
Nothing fishy going on here, nope…
Didn't catch her name but sure caught her in the act!
Didn’t catch her name but sure caught her in the act!
Spike gazes longingly at the Kingdom ahead of him
Spike gazes longingly at the Kingdom ahead of him
Such a picky eater, that Camelia
Such a picky eater, that Camelia
Trust me, you will want to save your game...
Trust me, you will want to save your game…
One wrong turn and it's back to square one
One wrong turn and it’s back to square one
"This jungle heat is making me crazed. I wanna confess!"
“This jungle heat’s making me crazed. I wanna confess!”

SpikeMcFang102

Final battle mere moments away. Good luck!
Final battle mere moments away. Good luck!
Pack the right cards and Von Hesler's not too bad...
Pack the right cards and Von Hesler isn’t too bad…

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

"Spike McFang is an unsung hero on the SNES" -RVGFanatic
“Spike McFang is a nice little SNES gem” -RVGFanatic

As you can see, the critics enjoyed Spike McFang and his twisted tales. Super Play gave it an 82% score and ranked it #96 on their Top 100 SNES Games List that they ran in issue #42 (February 1996). EGM gave it ratings of 9, 8, 8, 8 and 8. Sadly, this game flew under the radar when it was released back in the summer of ’94. However, glance at any “Sleeper” or “Hidden Gems” Super Nintendo recommendation list today and there’s a good chance The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is on there somewhere. And rightfully so!

Just a shame we never saw a souped up sequel
Just a shame we never saw a souped up sequel

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Not quite a religious experience but it sure is rock solid
Not quite a religious experience but it’s rock solid

Summer 1994. It was a great time for me; a time of innocence, a time of childhood and a time of many wonderful games. It took me nearly 15 years but I finally got around to play and beat The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang. Other than it being awfully short, I wasn’t disappointed. It’s got plenty going for it: a very likable protagonist, fun and varied attacks, some memorable key friends, nice graphics and satisfying gameplay (even if it’s rather linear). It’s also got some fun boss battles, a quirky enemy roster and general wackiness that you just don’t see in very many Super Nintendo games. There’s just something about Spike McFang that makes you stop and go, “Now here’s a funky game that marches to the beat of its own drummer.” And you can’t help but love it.

Beatable in three hours. No excuses not to play it
Beatable in three hours. No excuses not to play it!

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang is an underrated little gem all Super Nintendo owners should play. It’s a charming adventure that, while extremely short, delivers the goods. The biggest downside is the game takes roughly three measly hours to beat. I would love to have seen a 15-20 hour game instead but the nice thing is you could finish this in one (semi) lengthy sitting on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It’s not something you have to clear your calendar for, and for many of us in today’s busy adult world perhaps this is more of a blessing than a curse. It’s very straight forward and short. Just plug it in, press start and let the good times roll. It’s an adventure I find myself coming back to once in a blue moon. Still, part of me can’t help but wonder what if they added in multiple routes, side quests, more locales to hit up and more plot twists — all packed in a 15 to 20 hour world. Instead of being one of the better hidden gems on the system, it could have been one of the better SNES games, period. But I digress. I’m plenty happy with what we got, don’t get me wrong. It’s short and sweet. And sometimes that’s exactly what you want. It’s not going to rock your world the way The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past or Terranigma did, but you likely won’t regret giving this the time of day.

Graphics: 8
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 6.5

Award3Overall: 8.5
Double Silver Award

 

Even so, as is, it's wacky, whimsical and a win  ^_^
Even so, as is, it’s wacky, whimsical and a win  ^_^
The sequel... The Sappy Stories of Spike McFang!
The sequel… The Sappy Stories of Spike McFang!

SpikeMcFang111

True Lies (SNES)

Pub: LJN | Dev: Beam Software | February 1995 | 16 MEGS
Pub: LJN | Dev: Beam Software | February 1995 | 16 MEGS

Movie tie-ins were often considered bad back in the ’90s. It always seemed that the developers banked more on the licensing and name value than they did on the actual mechanics of the game. But every once in a while you get a bit of a gem. A diamond in the rough if you will. True Lies is one such example. Not only does it make excellent usage of its intellectual property, but it stands up well on its own even if you were to strip away the name value and likeness of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thirsting for a fun violent overhead shooter? True Lies may be the sleeper hit you’ve been looking for. Let’s dive in…

ADVENTURES IN MOVIE HOPPING

The Mask wasn't the only film we saw on July 30, 1994...
The Mask wasn’t the only film we saw on July 30, 1994

TrueLiesSNES1

My friends and I remained in our seats as the end credits to The Mask rolled. The usual “So, what did you think?” question made its way down the row in the midst of strangers stepping around us to exit the theater. Ben, the oldest in the group, had a devious look on his face when the question found its way to him. Our group didn’t have a leader, per se, but as the oldest, Ben held ringleader status among a few other alpha males (namely Tommy and the guy we affectionately referred to as Sushi-X). Ben was also a kid at heart. He was the first in the group to get his driver’s license and he was always a rebel. I stared at his grinning mug a couple seats over. The twinkle in his eye suggested he was up to no good. “I really liked it. Know what else I’d really like? To watch True Lies right now…”

Time to double down...
Time to double down…

Being a young innocent and naive kid, I thought Ben meant go pay for a second ticket. But as we walked out of the theater I noticed my group heading toward the auditorium with the marquee headlined by True Lies, rather than the ticket entrance. Holy crap, Ben wanted to pull off a grand heist (through 10 year old eyes it felt like a big crime anyhow)! My heart was racing and my palms felt like the bottom of a jet ski skipping across the ocean. As fate would have it, this next showing of True Lies was set to start right after The Mask. Was it a sign? Was it meant to be? I just knew they were my ride home, so I had little say in the matter. Ben, leading the charge, approached the double doors and looked back at us to steal a glance. He gave us a hearty nod with a devil-may-care smile. He swung the doors open and we followed him in like lemmings committing a heinous group crime in the still of the night…

TrueLiesSNES3

As we shuffled our way through and up to the top, I remember fearing for my life that our cover would be blown. Movie hopping was something I’d seen happen on TV sitcoms growing up. I never knew of anyone in real life who ever actually did it. It was almost like an urban myth to me as a kid. Anyone who dares to try sneaking into a movie for free was going to be caught red-handed, kicked out and banned from movie theaters for life. A mugshot would be plastered all over the country at all local theaters, denying you admittance from all future flicks. A little over dramatic but hey, I was 10! We grabbed our seats as the lights began to dim. I remember glancing out at the sea of humanity below me thinking how many others had sneaked in here free from The Mask? And how many of us were going to get caught? As the first trailer played, I could only imagine the worst…

Ben looked possessed. This clearly wasn't his first rodeo
Ben looked crazed. This clearly wasn’t his first rodeo

“Come on everyone, the coast is clear. Let’s go!”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this! I mean this is crazy!”

“SHUT UP! Keep it down over there. Act like you’ve done this before.”

Ben was only 17 but he was like a seasoned vet...
Ben was only 17 but he was like a seasoned vet…

“I dunno, Ben. I kinda have a bad feeling about this…”

“Ah you wussbag. Grow some balls, will ya. Ain’t no one gonna catch us… not if you just play it cool.”

TrueLiesSNES6

“I dunno about this either…”

“Will you guys zip it, huh? This is a fool proof plan so just follow my lead.”

No one, huh?
No one, huh?

That sure didn’t look like NO ONE to me, Ben.

At least, that’s how I envisioned it playing out as I sat there with the trailers blaring at my face in heavenly surround sound.

Luckily, we made it safely to our seats without incident… for now, anyhow…

TrueLiesSNES8

Any slight movement to and from the door had me squirming in my seat. I struggled to pay any attention to the trailers. My eyes kept darting over the room looking out for any ushers who might come crush us for the sins of our youth.

Ben was nuts, but the big lug never did let me down
Ben was nuts, but the big lug never did let me down

After a few minutes went by and we were in the clear, for the moment at least, I stole a glance at Ben. Son of a bitch was kicking back like he was at home in his PJs. But I had to admire the bastard. At just 17 years old he had a carefree and magnetic aura that I couldn’t help but admire. Ben was a kid at heart if I ever saw one.

TrueLiesSNES10

It wasn’t long before the movie began. No usher ever came to rebuke us. We had a wonderful time watching True Lies. While I don’t advocate or promote movie hopping (because it’s morally wrong), this remains a fond memory of the fun times I had running with my game crew back in the day.

Ben approves this message
Ben approves this message
And hey, who didn't have fun watching this? ;)
And hey, who didn’t have fun watching this? ;)

THE STORY GOES…

Aziz spearheads a terrorist group known as Crimson Jihad
Aziz spearheads the terrorist group Crimson Jihad
Arnold plays Harry Tasker, tasked to foil Aziz's plans
Arnold plays Harry Tasker, tasked to foil Aziz’s plans
Arnold almost died on set riding this horse!
Arnold almost died on set riding this horse!
One of the film's best scenes!
One of the film’s best scenes!
Out of room but NOT out of resources...
Out of room but NOT out of resources…
Holy shit...
Holy shit…
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
"I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT."
“I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT”
True Lies was a good return to form for Arnold
True Lies was a good return to form for Arnold

“What da hell were ya thinkin’?  I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away.”

TrueLiesSNES22

TrueLiesSNES23

ARNOLD’S BIG TOYS

TrueLiesSNES24

You start out with a standard 15-clip hand gun. The bad news? It’s sort of weak and after every 15th shot you must reload, leaving you vulnerable for a precious second. The good news? Unlimited ammo. ProTip: when it’s safe, fire off all your shots once you get down to five or so. The last thing you want is to have to reload during a crucial moment. Therefore, ALWAYS keep it fully stocked.

TrueLiesSNES25

Now we’re talking! The Uzi is like the hand gun except it spits out bullets like no tomorrow. In addition, you automatically lock yourself in whichever direction you are firing. The Uzi also allows you to turn at unique angles, giving you the possibility of sniping scumbags from a position where, with any other gun, you wouldn’t be able to. It’s definitely handy for clearing a room full of bad guys. Just too bad it eats up a ton of ammo quickly.

TrueLiesSNES26

The shotgun fires a powerful spread shot that fires five shots. But just like in Doom, if you clip someone rather than blast them straight on, the power is greatly reduced. It’s also slow to load so make sure each shot counts. It’s annoying though that the bullets only travel a certain length before disappearing. Still, it’s a blast to pump terrorists full of lead point blank!

BURN BABY BURN
BURN BABY BURN

The flamethrower is the most powerful weapon. It instantly eviscerates upon contact. Like the Uzi, firing this locks you in position and you can turn to fry anyone within your vicinity. Also like the Uzi it eats up ammo faster than a sumbitch.

TrueLiesSNES28TrueLiesSNES28b

 

 

 

 

The land mine is the perfect weapon to lure victims in. Unfortunately once you set it down there’s a three second delay for the mine to activate, so it’s no good if you are near your enemy. But if you see him coming from afar, the land mine can be a true game changer.

I love all of the weapons for different reasons, but the grenade just might be my favorite. Let’s see why below…

HOW TO BE A CERTIFIED BADASS

TrueLiesSNES29

TrueLiesSNES30

TrueLiesSNES31

TrueLiesSNES32

Toss a grenade at the punk on the lower left
Toss a grenade at the punk on the lower left

TrueLiesSNES34

TrueLiesSNES35TrueLiesSNES35b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gotta love how Beam Software strategically placed that small table there. It’s ripe for bouncing one over…

TrueLiesSNES36

TrueLiesSNES37

TrueLiesSNES38

ROLLING THUNDER

TrueLiesSNES39TrueLiesSNES39b

 

 

 

 

 

TrueLiesSNES39cTrueLiesSNES39d

 

 

 

 

 

Somersault to victory — if you press the shoot button right after rolling, Arnold will get up on one knee and start firing. Used correctly, this technique can provide a huge boost.

CINEMATIC SHOTS

TrueLiesSNES40TrueLiesSNES40b

 

 

 

 

 

TrueLiesSNES40cTrueLiesSNES40d

 

 

 

 

 

Albeit a bit pixelated, these lovely photos had a strikingly realistic look.

LEVEL 1: CRASHING THE DINNER PARTY

TrueLiesSNES41

TrueLiesSNES42

"Sorry, please forgive me!"
“Sorry, please forgive me!”
Kill three and it's game over
Kill three? Game over
Use the nifty lock button to hold down your position
Use the nifty lock button to hold down your position
Wait for him to reload...
Wait for him to reload…
Then make your move!
Then make your move!

How you use corners and walls to your advantage can make the difference between victory and death. Strategic positioning is pivotal!

TrueLiesSNES46

TrueLiesSNES47

TrueLiesSNES48

TrueLiesSNES49

LEVEL 2: MAYHEM AT THE MALL

[I prefer Kay Bee Terrorists, myself -Ed.]
[I prefer Kay Bee Terrorists, myself -Ed.]
"FREEZE!" *guy looks at watch*
“FREEZE!”  *guy looks at watch*
"Damn I almost shot yo ass!"
“Damn near shot yo ass!”
Somewhere Zack Morris is smiling
Somewhere Zack Morris is smiling

[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack's phone -Ed.]
[Jeez this pic is as big as Zack’s phone -Ed.]
TrueLiesSNES53

TrueLiesSNES54

"STUPID idiots!" -Chris Jericho
Proof that mobile phones will be the death of us

TrueLiesSNES56

Deals are so good people are DYING to shop here. Sorry
Deals so good people are DYING to shop here. Sorry
Looks like he took it a bit too literally...
Looks like he took it a bit too literally…
The restroom scene from the movie is awesome
The restroom scene from the movie is awesome
ProTip: He's the last guy you wanna piss off...
ProTip: He’s the last guy you wanna piss off…
See a guy take a leak with his shades on? F*CKIN' RUN
See a guy peeing with his shades on? F*CKING RUN

TrueLiesSNES62

An action scene of Schwarzeneggerian proportions!
An action scene of Schwarzeneggerian proportions!

TrueLiesSNES64

Beam even replicated the restroom tiles to a tee. Nice!
Beam even replicated the restroom tiles to a tee!

TrueLiesSNES66

"'MURICA!"
“MURICA!”
Love the bullet holes
Love the bullet holes
Arnold doesn't give a shit about your shit
“My, what did you have for lunch?”

LEVEL 3: PANDEMONIUM IN THE PARK

TrueLiesSNES68

TrueLiesSNES69

"Sorry to crash your meet up group like this..."
“Sorry to crash your meet up group like this!”

I love the little details in games. About halfway through the park you run into a group of training martial artists. As you pass you can actually hear their grunts of “HOO!” “HA!” “HEE!” It’s pretty dang awesome. These guys are harmless so don’t shoot them, but the bad guys sure can. It’s too bad a movie starring both Arnold and Bruce Lee was never meant to be.

They never flinch, just like Donnie Yen in Rogue One
They never flinch, just like Donnie Yen in Rogue One

TrueLiesSNES72

TrueLiesSNES73

"IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT"
“IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT”

LEVEL 4: SUBWAY SUICIDE

The bad news? This level is as hard as a brick
The bad news? This level is as hard as a brick
The sheer violence is disturbingly satisfying...
The sheer violence is disturbingly satisfying…
But maybe not this time
But maybe not this time
"I got your five dollar foot long right here, BISHES!"
“I got your five dollar foot long right here, BISHES!”
Too close for comfort!
Too close for comfort!

Trains whiz by, giving you barely just enough time to reach each alcove.

TrueLiesSNES80

"Don't worry guys, I got him!"
“Don’t worry guys — I got him!”
"OH SHIT"
“OH SHIT…”

Notice how his grenade is poorly aimed and how it bounces off the side of the train…

TrueLiesSNES82

The computer’s wild, random and unpredictable AI makes playing True Lies a blast, pardon the pun. You never know when they accidentally commit genocide on themselves…

I cringe everytime Arnold goes out this way... OUCH
I cringe everytime Arnold goes out this way… OUCH

LEVEL 5: SHOOTIN’ ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY

Hard to explain but it's got a cool "8-bit NES 1990" vibe
Hard to explain but it’s got a cool 1990 8-bit NES vibe

TrueLiesSNES85

All ambiance here. No music, only crashing waves. Nice
All ambiance here. No music, only crashing waves…
"You shoot, I shoot, remember?"
“You shoot, I shoot, remember?”

TrueLiesSNES88

TrueLiesSNES89TrueLiesSNES89bTrueLiesSNES89c

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GOTDAMN! True Lies is without a shadow of a doubt Arnold-approved.

TrueLiesSNES90

Fry his ass from a safe angle
Fry his ass from a safe angle
Or better yet, be a certified G(renade)
Or better yet, toss a grenade…
It's true. Good luck...
It’s true. Good luck…

LEVEL 6: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

TrueLiesSNES94

TrueLiesSNES95

Guy on the left took it to heart, apparently
Guy on the left took it to heart, apparently

TrueLiesSNES97TrueLiesSNES97b

 

 

 

 

 

 

“DIDN’T I JUST KILL YOU!?! AHH!!” Rock-It-Ralph gets the last laugh.

You could jump it, sure, but it's not nearly as fun ;)
You could jump it, sure, but it’s not nearly as fun ;)

TrueLiesSNES99

TrueLiesSNES100TrueLiesSNES100b

 

 

 

 

 

Believe it or not, he’s even deadlier than Rock-It-Ralph. Mainly because this bastard actually moves. Better say your prayers…

TrueLiesSNES101

PEEK-A-BOO, BITCH
PEEK-A-BOO, BITCH

TrueLiesSNES103

Explore! Or pay a steep price
Explore! Or you just might pay a steep price
True Lies is one of the hardest SNES games ever
True Lies is one of the hardest SNES games ever

Imagine wading through this hellhole. Rockets are screaming past you in tight quarters while gun slinging flunkies set their sights on you. Now imagine having to backtrack through this after discovering you’d forgotten to locate a key. No worst feeling in this game.

Mercifully there’s no respawning. Killed enemies stay dead. In some cases you’ll find yourself not killing but sneaking by best as you can. Keep in mind that enemies not killed will have to be dealt with if you need to backtrack.

TrueLiesSNES106

LEVEL 7: REFINERY RAMPAGE

TrueLiesSNES107

Nice to see the DOOM barrels make a cameo
Nice to see the DOOM barrels make a cameo

LEVEL 8: SPACE HARRIER

TrueLiesSNES109

TrueLiesSNES110

LEVEL 9: ANOTHER SLAY AT THE OFFICE

TrueLiesSNES111

TrueLiesSNES112

LEVEL 10: AZIZ MEETS HIS BITTER END

Look familiar? It's plucked right out of the movie
Look familiar? It’s plucked right out of the movie
A young Eliza Dushku hangs precariously in the air
A young Eliza Dushku hangs precariously in the air
Uh, it's a harrier. "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!" Nevermind
Uhh, it’s a harrier. “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” Ah forget it
Arnold had some of the best one liners in history
Arnold had some of the best one liners in history

Sorry Art Malik. I agree with Arnold [You're one to talk -Ed.]
Sorry Art Malik, I have to agree [You’re one to talk -Ed.]
I got TWO words for ya... [SUCK IT!!! Sorry, it's Pavlovian... -Ed.]
“I got TWO words for ya…”  [SUCK IT?!? -Ed.]
TrueLiesSNES119

TrueLiesSNES120

TrueLiesSNES121

TrueLiesSNES121b

TOO MUCH HEAT? YOU CAN ALWAYS CHEAT

TrueLiesSNES122TrueLiesSNES122b

 

 

 

 

 

Some games are rock hard. Others are near impossible. And then, there’s True Lies. While the first two or three levels start out fairly manageable, it isn’t long before the curve spikes and you find yourself dying over and over again. Now normally I’m not the biggest proponent of using cheat codes, but when a game is maddeningly difficult I’m not against evening up the odds a bit. For example, BGWPNS (big weapons) allows you to start with all weapons (but not infinite ammo). That’s reasonably fair. Another code gives you invincibility which isn’t fair but good for when you just want to blow shit up. Amusingly enough, to enable this God mode you have to input the command BGGRLY. Yes, BIG GIRLY. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers!

The stages are so long they have to be split up!
The stages are so long they have to be split up!

Level select codes have always been my favorite. It really increases the longevity of games lacking a save feature. Sometimes I want to jump to a certain part of a game, beat just that part and call it a night. It’s handy for those moments when you just wanna play for 15 minutes before bed.

TrueLiesSNES124

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

"I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!"
“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!”

The game earned respectable scores. EGM gave it ratings of 8, 7, 7 and 6.5. GameFan rated it 79, 73 and 70%. Super Play Magazine scored it 74%. They agreed that True Lies is one of the better movie game efforts but two glaring flaws hold it back from being a great title. The music and gun sound effects are a bit weak. The other flaw is its extreme difficulty. As for the film, it was a success for the most part. It was the first movie in history to boast a budget of over 100 million and it raked in 378 million worldwide. Critics and fans alike enjoyed its mix of action and comedy, with bits of romance sprinkled in for good measure. Jamie Lee Curtis won the Golden Globe Award for best actress. Damn, who could forget that infamous strip scene? Steamy stuff! True Lies also marked a strong comeback for Arnold who starred in the flop Last Action Hero the summer prior. It’s interesting to note that this was James Cameron’s baby in-between T2: Judgment Day and Titantic. Ah, the days when Cameron ruled the cinematic world, eh?

Still waiting on the sequel: FALSE TRUTHS
Still waiting on the sequel: FALSE TRUTHS

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" "HASTA LA VISTA BABY"
“SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”

Movie game adaptations in the ’90s were often times more miss than hit. True Lies, for the most part, is a hit. The action comes at you fast and furious, yet during the calm before the storm you have to be methodical and strategic. It’s a combo that works well, rewarding flexible players who excel in scrums and who show an affinity for meticulous planning and precision. Many of the game’s stages are scenes plucked straight out of the movie, and the ones that are re-imagined add a rather nice bit of environmental diversity. All of the classic locales are present such as public parks, decrepit catacombs and even a dour refinery. But it also has some unique settings you just don’t see often, such as the local mall and a stage that takes place on the loading dock. This results in giving the game a nice breadth and makes each new level something to look forward to. Visuals are solid and the blood, though cartoony, add an extra sense of brutality. The music loops unfortunately and is certainly not a shining point of the game. The guns don’t sound all that realistic, either. Small gripes though, really.

TrueLiesSNES128

What really makes True Lies stand out is its sheer, unadulterated violence. It’s loud. It’s brash. It’s grisly. Grenades send victims sprawling 10 feet in the air as blood spills and bodies singe. It’s a great game to pop in after a tough day at work, as few things satisfy like wasting bastards point blank via shotgun, followed by roasting someone alive. On the downside, it’s way too difficult. The levels are long and can take 15-25 minutes to complete, which has its pros and cons. The later levels are maze-like which contribute to the time it takes to beat them. Some levels have you fetching items which impedes the shooting mayhem. Enemies always seem to know where you are, even if they can’t see you. The lock button helps but a quick 180° turn option would have helped even more.

"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!"
“HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!”

Angling your shots and positioning yourself properly is absolutely key. But even if you do all that, it will STILL eat you up and spit you out. Thank goodness then for codes that give you more of a fighting chance. Despite its flaws, there aren’t too many titles comparable to True Lies on the Super Nintendo. It’s worthy of the Arnold name, providing wanton destruction the likes of which few others can match. It’s one of my pet favorites and although the game has received its fair share of “under the radar” props, I still love singing its praises whenever I can. It’s one of the best movie tie-in games on the SNES!

Graphics: 8
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7

AwardsOverall: 8.0
Silver Award

 

Mowing down terrorists in a public restroom? Priceless
Blasting terrorists in a public restroom? Priceless
"Next time you should really listen to me. I said I needed to pee"
“Next time you should listen to me. I said I need to pee!”

Street Fighter II (SNES)

Pub and Dev: Capcom | July 1992 | 16 MEGS
Pub and Dev: Capcom | July 1992 | 16 MEGS

Released in early 1991, Street Fighter II would forever change the course of gaming history. Sweeping coast to coast like a blistering tornado, swooping up everyone ruthlessly in its path, Street Fighter II took the video game world by storm. Gamers cutting classes, thousands of quarters disposed and endless lines — it was all just another day at the office for Capcom’s epochal once in a generation masterpiece. It was more than just a game; it was a phenomenon. Street Fighter II became a way of life for many. Never before did a game offer the endless combinations that Street Fighter II presented. In every pizza parlor, arcade hall, 7-11 — anywhere you could imagine — there was bound to be a Street Fighter II arcade cab with a line of eager players not far behind. Capcom had truly created a monster.

Then came the murmurs. If you put your ear low to the ground, you could hear the rumblings. Capcom was porting their money maker over to the Super Nintendo. The thought of being able to play the game in the comfort of your living room with no lines, no sticky buttons and no quarters? It was every kid’s dream come true in early 1992. That summer we got our wish when Street Fighter II made its home debut with a splash. Capcom pulled out all the stops, making this the first 16 MEG monster on the SNES. It was a glorious summer, indeed.

You've made it when you're on the cover of snacks!
You’ve made it when you’re on the cover of snacks!

sfros

Eight warriors spanning the globe, each with their own special moves, six buttons of varying speed and strength, unique quarter motions requiring some degree of skill, combos… Capcom caught lightning in a bottle.

Anyone who was a gamer and involved in the arcade scene back in the early ’90s has a story about Street Fighter II. This is mine…

SUMMER 1991

Pride comes before the fall...
Pride comes before the fall…

My dad drove me, my brother Kevin and his friends to a 7-11 one hot summer day. We were going to pick up some chips and slurpees to enjoy on this scorching summer day. Inside was a Street Fighter II cab, naturally. One of my brother’s friends, Mike, challenged me to a duel right there in the store. Ahh, Mike was a classic dude. He was a burly 10 year old cocky punk who acted tougher than he really was. I selected Dhalsim because I was always drawn to underdogs and “freaks.” Mike was trash talking even before the match began. I wasn’t yet skilled enough to pull off a special move, hell, I didn’t even know how! But on that day it didn’t matter, for you see, Mike had no answer for Dhalsim’s long limbs. I ended up perfecting him two rounds in a row! It was the upset of the decade! My seven and a half year old self couldn’t believe it, and neither could Mike, who just stood there completely in shock.

My brother and Mike’s other friend were jumping around going “OHHHH!!!” I became the man of the hour, and Mike was never going to live this moment down, ever. I knew then and there Street Fighter II was no ordinary game. It’s a memory that’s never left me. The moment cemented me as a Dhalsim and Street Fighter II fan for life. And to this day, whenever I happen to step inside a 7-11 to pick up a cold drink on a hot summer day, I can’t help but think back to that moment in time.

1991 was a good year. Damn, it's been 25 years...
1991 was a good year. Damn, it’s been 25 years…

My bro, his friends and I used to frequent a local card shop, TRIPLE PLAY, on a biweekly basis. My bro would get 2 bucks to spend, and I’d get a dollar from my dad. I always spent that dollar on a Marvel 1991 trading card pack. My brother would as well, and then he’d use his last remaining dollar on the Street Fighter II cab. Kevin would occasionally spare me a quarter (what a great older brother, eh?) but most of the times I just stood by, happily checking out my new Marvel cards while keeping an eye on the older kids trading fireballs and fists.

Once in a while a game transcends gaming itself
Once in a while a game transcends gaming itself

And as the 8-bit Nintendo was making its final push in the US, word broke out about a SUPER Nintendo. A machine that promised to break all boundaries of modern technology and bring home the next wave of console gaming. Later that year the SNES launched and quality software like Super Mario World, Contra III: The Alien Wars and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ensured that the SNES hype was real.

Released November 21, 1990
Street Fighter II and SNES — a match made in Heaven

However, as great as those titles were and as much as they contributed to the ascension of the Super Nintendo, to me it was Street Fighter II that truly etched the system’s greatness in granite.

The anticipation built to a fever pitch
The anticipation built to a fever pitch

On a hot summer night in 1992, my brother and mom left to Sears Funtronics with one simple mission in mind: secure and bring home the hottest 16-bit video game. I stayed back and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. The seconds felt like minutes. The minutes felt like hours. Fight fever had officially taken over. When my bro finally made it back with Street Fighter II in hand, I’m pretty sure all my neighbors could hear our cries of joy. It was yet another moment in time of being nine years old, growing up in suburbia and experiencing the best era of video gaming.

sf2introsf2intro2

 

 

 

 

 

Right off the bat we noticed the little intro was missing, but honestly, we didn’t really care. It still felt like we had the arcade in our living room! Or at the very least, a strong slice of the arcade. And at that time, July 1992, that was more than enough to leave a lasting imprint on all of us.

sf2select

sfcontinue
No more quarters needed ^_^

THE WORLD WARRIORS

ryustanceRYU
DOB: 7.21.64
5’10” 150 lbs

The main character of the franchise, Ryu became the face of fighting games. A master of the Shotokan martial art, Ryu lives for the fight and only the fight. While some may consider him to be a little bland, there’s no denying he’s an iconic character who holds claim to some of the most legendary special moves in all of fighting game history.

ryustage

Duke it out on the dojo rooftop. Only the privileged few have ever step foot here. And you were lucky to leave the dojo on your own two feet!

ryusf2ryusf3Ah, the Hadoken fireball. Arguably the most iconic move in fighting game history, you just can’t beat a good old Hadoken.

 

ryusf4ryusf5

The classic Hurricane Kick.

ryusfryusf1

The double axe kick is a good way to polish off combos. It does a fair amount of damage. Your victim even vomits, which was always a fun sight gag.

ryusf7

SHO-RYU-KEN! The Dragon Punch, much like Ryu himself, has often been imitated but so rarely duplicated.

kenstanceKEN
DOB: 2.14.65
5’10” 169 lbs

Friend and foe of Ryu’s, Ken is the more flamboyant of the two. He knows every move that Ryu knows. But unlike Ryu, Ken believes there is more to life than just the fight. In battle he is often times reckless and has a higher propensity to show off. Will arrogance be Ken’s ultimate undoing?

kenstage

Ken loves having an audience, and this boat provides him with just that. Storage barrels line the battle field and break if hit violently.

 

 

"HADOKEN!"
“HADOKEN!”

kensf3

Ken’s Hurricane Kick packs a wallop when administered in succession.

kensf5

“ARE YOU KEN!?” Wait, no, I’M Ken…

kenthrowkenthrow1kenthrow3

 

 

 

Ken and Ryu are virtually identical in Street Fighter II, except Ken’s kick throw sees him tumbling his victim through the air like a circus act. Yup, Ken was always the showoff.

Pretty much!
Pretty much!

hondastanceE. HONDA
DOB: 11.3.60
6’2″ 304 lbs

Edmond Honda entered the World Warrior tournament to prove the legitimacy of sumo wrestling to an unbelieving world. A winner of the “Yokozuna” title, E. Honda also holds claim to having the fastest hands known to mankind. He’s more agile than he looks, reminding one to never judge a book by its cover.

hondastage

A well-polished ring is kept ready for combat whether sumo or street fighting. He forbids spectators as Honda isn’t about spectacle but rather the pure uninterrupted spirit of true competition. Honda likes cooling off in his hot tub between battles.

hondasf2hondasf3His double knee inflicts a good amount of damage. It’s like being whacked by a tree limb!

 

 

Ken may never have kids...
Ken may never have kids…
Nutcracker city y'all
Nutcracker city y’all
Hundred Hand Bitch Slap
Hundred Hand Bitch Slap

blanstanceBLANKA
DOB: 2.12.66
6’5″ 218 lbs

For years natives have reported seeing something strange roaming deep within the rain forest. Although the stories vary, a few things remain consistent. This half man, half beast is incredibly fast, savage and as green as the rain forest itself. The creature became something of a “Brazilian Boogeyman.” The local government refused to acknowledge it and even ordered a media black out. That didn’t stop certain vigilantes however from setting up camp and trying to snap a shot of the wild beast. After years of murmurs and rumors, the creature known as Blanka emerged out of the shadows to win the great Street Fighter II tournament.

blanstage

After hiding in seclusion for years in the Brazilian rain forest, Blanka is now ready to take on the world. The natives are shocked to see the beast in the light of day and snap photos to prove that their eyes aren’t deceiving them. Imagine if this game were made in 2010. Those old cameras would be replaced with iPhones recording the action!

A savage attack befitting of a wild beast
A savage attack befitting a wild beast
He's got an electric personality...
He’s got an electric personality…

blankbite1

We get a hint of blood with Blanka’s face bite. Nintendo of America was very sensitive with blood back in those early days, so mad respect to Capcom for being able to sneak in as much as they did.

blanksf5blanksf6

Double Knee Smasher!

blanksf7blanksf8

Momma always said use your noggin.

guilestanceGUILE
DOB: 12.23.60
6’1″ 191 lbs

During a special mission in Thailand, Guile and his best pal Charlie were captured by a tyrant named M. Bison. Charlie was murdered at the hands of M. Bison, and ever since then Guile has been out for blood. Using a unique blend of Special Forces training and street fighting skills, Guile is one of the most beloved characters of all time. Although Ryu and Ken were the faces of the game, Guile was always that cool alternative protagonist. He had the looks, the moves and who could ever forget his epic stage music?

guilestage

His comrades cheer him on to victory. Wooden boxes shatter like a Spanish announcer table at a WWE event.

guilesf1guilesf2guilesf3

 

 

 

 

 

Guile’s Sonic Boom is nearly just as iconic as the Hadoken itself. In some ways, I even prefer it to the Hadoken. Remember the jab version being so slow that in some cases you could follow it up with a well timed backfist? Super satisfying.

It never gets old, never
It never gets old, never

guilesweepguilesweep1If at first you don’t succeed…

 

 

... then try again!
… then try again!
Suplex City, Bitch
Suplex City, bitch

guileair

guileair1

guileair2

guileair3

guileair4

guileair5

CHUN LI
DOB: 3.1.68
5’8″ Never ask a lady her weight!

The so-called “Strongest Woman in the World” entered the tournament in hopes of avenging her father’s death, whose death she believes is on the head of a mysterious crime lord known only as M. Bison. Her obsession with vengeance fuels her every move, but will her burning passion for blood lust be her downfall? It’s a razor thin line; I wouldn’t want to get in her way! And between Guile and Chun Li, M. Bison better have eyes in the back of his head…

chunstage

In a quaint Chinese village there lies a small but bustling marketplace. As a customary form of travel, many folks leisurely pass by on bicycles. Meanwhile, a man in the background is busy preparing a chicken to be sold to customers. It’s just another hard day’s work to make ends meet.

Spinning Bird Kick!
Spinning Bird Kick!
Tap dance away
Tap dance away
Chun Li with the educated feet
Chun Li with the educated feet

chunwall

chunthrow

chunthrow1

Always a nice touch ^_^
Always a nice touch ^_^

zanstanceZANGIEF
DOB: 6.1.56
7’0″ 256 lbs

The strongest man in the tournament, this Russian wrestler fights bears for fun. And that’s really all you need to know. Zangief is not very user friendly — only the most advanced Street Fighter II players will be able to use him effectively. Man of a thousand holds, he owns the most devastating move in the game: the Spinning Piledriver! Pretty much every fighting game that came after this had a strong man with a similar big move. In that regard, like him or not, Zangief was something of a trailblazer.

zanstage

Zangief works long hours six days a week at this industrial factory in Mother Russia. During his break, as a way to entertain himself, he takes on all comers. His comrades cheer on from the sidelines.

Uh oh...
Uh oh…

The Spinning Piledriver is the hardest move to execute, but it also dishes out the most damage.

zan360shit

Avoid fireballs with the Spinning Clothesline
Avoid fireballs with the Spinning Clothesline
Zangief learned a thing or two from Haggar!
Haggar taught Zangief well

dhalstanceDHALSIM
DOB: 11.22.52
5’10” (varies) 107 lbs (varies)

Ahhh, the first fighter I ever picked. Dhalsim and I bonded from day one. He’s incredibly flexible and has the ability to stretch his limbs to attack opponents from a distance. This makes him a formidable foe not to be taken lightly, despite his lack of speed. Over the course of his long life Dhalsim has sought to unify his mind, body and soul through the discipline of Yoga. Through his meditation he’s able to spew fire from deep within. He makes for quite the hit at summer BBQs!

dhalstage

Dhalsim loves to meditate inside this indoor temple and stretch [Really? -Ed.] to gear up for battle. He’s proud of the rich wall tapestry and finely crafted architecture that represents his heritage.

I don't think he washes his feet...
I don’t think he washes his feet…
Stretch fighters became a staple of the genre
Stretch fighters became a staple of the genre

dhalnogiedhalnogie1The Yoga Noogie is an alternative option to Dhalsim’s regular throw. Instead of forward + fierce you press toward + medium. I liked how the game gave you two options for Dhalsim (and a few others, such as Honda and Guile). Besides, what’s better than pounding on someone’s skull so hard that they’re forced to do squats?

dhalbuttdhalbutt1Up close Dhalsim is not the best striker, but this double headbutt is a notable hit. It’s similar to Blanka’s double headbutt, but it’s much stronger and I love the sound effect it makes. You can really feel the power of Dhalsim’s cranium.

dhalsfdhalsf1The Yoga Fire was always one of my favorite fireballs in all of fighting games. Because it’s literally just that. A fireball! Plus it looks so simple and it actually sets your opponent on fire if they fail to block it. It made Dhalsim extra cool in my book that he was the only fighter who could produce this animation.

Yoga Flame for closer distance and more damage
Yoga Flame inflicts even more damage
Available for summer BBQ bookings
Available for summer BBQ bookings!

THE BOSSES

Originally M. Bison in Japan
M. Bison in Japan
Battle Balrog under the Las Vegas lights!
Battle Balrog under the Las Vegas lights!
Ryu, you're supposed to run before he counts
Ryu, you’re supposed to run before he counts
Mike Tyson > Balrog
Mike Tyson > Balrog
Balrog in Japan
Balrog in Japan
The masked ninja will climb the fence in a pinch
The masked ninja will climb the fence in a pinch
Ryu's eternal nemesis
Ryu’s eternal nemesis
Chest scar courtesy of Ryu from the first Street Fighter
Chest scar courtesy of Ryu from the first Street Fighter
Vega in Japan
Vega in Japan

capebisoncapebison1capebison2

 

 

 

 

 

Bison tossing off his cape right before the battle begins was so badass.

Can you withstand his twisted Psycho powers?
Can you withstand his twisted Psycho powers?

BONUS ROUNDS

The thing about bricks...
The thing about bricks is this…
"BRICKS DON'T HIT BACK"
“BRICKS DON’T HIT BACK”

sfcarsfcar1

sfcar2sfcar3

Best bonus round ever
Best bonus round ever

sfcar6

Simply classic stuff
Simply classic stuff

sfbricktoss1

sfbricktoss2

sfbricktoss

STREET FIGHTER II: THE SILLY WARRIOR

You know what this reminds me of?
You know what this reminds me of?
Mr. Sparkle!
Mr. Sparkle!

sf5onit

shinobi-sf

shinobi-sf1

[Yeah, I blocked this memory out. THANKS -Ed.]
[Yeah, I blocked this memory out. THANKS -Ed.]
Creepy witches...
Creepy witches abound…

sf2limbo

Meditate and maybe you'll be this forgiving, too!
Meditate and maybe you’ll be this forgiving, too…

DIZZY RAMA

ryudizzy

kendizzy

blandizzy

hondizzy

guiledizzy

chundizzy

zandizzy

dhaldizzy

While strikes and special moves are nice, they don’t mean nearly as much as when they’re linked together. Two-in-ones and combos are the heartbeat of true master champions.

An uppercut, deadly in its own right...
Deadly in its own right…
But when chained...
But when chained into another attack…
It becomes absolutely lethal!
It becomes absolutely lethal!

COMBO TIPS AND STRATEGIES

Every kid bought this guide back in the day
Every kid bought this guide back in the day

My brother and I even bought the GamePro Street Fighter II Strategy Guide back in 1992. It was the first guide we ever bought, and to this day it remains my favorite guide of all time. I wasn’t a huge fan of GamePro Magazine, but this guide was awesome. Over 2,000 full color screenshots and combos galore.

RYU

combosfsnesJumping fierce

Standing fierce

Dragon Punch

47% damage

KEN

Jumping roundhouse
Jumping roundhouse
Standing fierce
Standing fierce
Quickly cancel into Hadoken
Quickly cancel into a Hadoken
Opponent still reeling...
Opponent still reeling…
Still reeling...
Still reeling…
A thing of beauty it is
A thing of beauty

E. HONDA

combosfsnes3Jumping fierce

Standing strong

Ducking fierce

44% damage

combosfsnes3bJumping fierce

Standing roundhouse (double hit)

42% damage

CHUN LI

combosfsnes4Jumping fierce

Standing strong

Ducking roundhouse

39% damage

combosfsnes4bJumping jab

Standing jab

Standing strong

Standing fierce

42% damage

BLANKA

combosfsnes5Jumping roundhouse

Standing strong

Ducking roundhouse

41% damage

combosfsnes5bJumping fierce

Ducking forward

Rolling Attack

44% damage

GUILE

Throw a jab Sonic Boom
Throw a jab Sonic Boom
Follow up
Follow up
Spinning backfist
Spinning backfist

combosfsnes8Jumping fierce

Ducking strong

Standing strong

FLASH KICK

60% damage!

combosfsnes9Jumping jab

Standing jab

Sonic Boom

Standing jab

Ducking short

47% damage

ZANGIEF

combosfsnes10Jumping short

Ducking jab

Ducking short

SPINNING PILEDRIVER

63% (!!!) damage

combosfsnes11Jumping fierce

Ducking strong

Ducking roundhouse

41% damage

DHALSIM

Slide right before a fireball
Slide right before a fireball
You slide under and take 'em out
You slide under and take ‘em out
Dhalsim is so skinny...
Dhalsim is so skinny…
... that he can even fit under a Hadoken!
… that he can even fit under a Hadoken!
It's effective against a fireball happy foe
It’s effective against a fireball happy foe

combosfsnes14

Here’s the classic roundhouse fireball “trap.”

Throw a fireball of any speed. When they jump, knock them out of the sky with a roundhouse kick!

combosfsnes15

You can harass opponents by throwing a jab fireball and then quickly executing a ducking fierce for an easy, almost unavoidable hit!

ENDINGS

sfendings

Finish the game on levels 0-2 and you’ll be asked to challenge a harder level.

Levels 3-5 earns you your character’s ending.

Level 6 or 7 will display the credits. You also get to watch your favorite world warriors mix it up in a demo mode.

If beaten without ever changing characters
If beaten without ever changing characters
No swapping, no continues
No swapping, no continues

And should you not lose one round on level 7, then you can press start to make Chun Li say “Yatta!” (Japanese for I did it).

Let’s take a look at some of the endings.

RYU

sfending2

BLANKA

sfending3

sfending4

sfending5

sfending7

sfending8

blankaendg

GUILE

sfending9sfending9b

 

 

 

 

 

 

sfending10

sfending11

sfending12

sfending13

sfending14

sfending15

sfending15b

sfending15c

WHOA!
WHOA!
Please edit that out...
Please edit that out…

KEN

sfending16

sfending17

sfending18

Damn all these beautiful girls...
Damn all these beautiful girls…

sfending20

sfending21

sfending22

"See? She was with me first..."
“See? She was with me…”
"And me!"
“Me too!”
"Who else have you been with?"
“Who else have you been with?”

sfending26

sfending27

sfending28

"Who else have you been with?"
“And then I saw the footage…”

sfending29

sfending30

sfending32

sfending33

Things got rather graphic...
Things get rather graphic…
Moral: Pick the rock, not the ho
Moral: Pick the rock, not the ho
Whoa easy there, pal
Whoa easy there, pal!

“Oh, you’re getting married? Then prepare to be like me. You’ll be choking the chicken night and day, sir…”

Wait, what just happened? Uh, let’s just move on…

FIGHT FEVER

Everywhere you looked, Street Fighter II dominated
Everywhere you looked, Street Fighter II dominated

The pages (and covers) of EGM were dominated by Capcom’s 2D juggernaut. Every month there was page after page of coverage. Overkill? Quite possibly, but as EGM once wrote in an editorial, you go with what sells. And did Street Fighter II on the SNES sell or what! Sales for the first week set new records. Nearly everyone and their brother were drunk with Street Fighter II fever.

Soon thereafter came the clones. Many other companies started putting out their own fighting games in hopes of capturing lightning in a bottle and get their own slice of the pie. The years 1992-1994 were absolutely inundated by fighting games, and it was considered the “fighting game golden age.” I remember fondly a time where each time you visited the arcades, it felt like there was a new fighting game that popped up overnight like a pimple on prom night. It was an exciting and wild time if you loved fighting games as much as I did. But of course, very few came close to even sniffing the jock strap of Street Fighter II.

Here’s an excerpt from EGM’s September 1992 Insert Coin that captures that time frame in a nutshell quite well.

THE STREET FIGHTER II PHENOMENON

Could Street Fighter fever last forever? Yes, it could...
Could Street Fighter fever last forever? Yes, it could…

OK, by now virtually everybody in the country has the mega-hot Street Fighter II. Judging by the hundreds of letters we have already received, player satisfaction with this prime cart is at an all-time high. The impact of this game goes beyond just the software sales. Based on the letters we have received, literally thousands have bought Super Nintendos just to play this. SNK has just brought out a huge 87 meg fighting game called World Heroes, and we see no end in sight. How long will Street Fighter II stay popular? Most likely through the holidays. Or maybe forever. All in all, a big tip of the hat has to go to Capcom for all of the work they did in creating this phenomenon. This could be the Game of the Year!

EGM CREATES AN INTERNATIONAL MONSTER

When an innocent prank becomes legendary
When an innocent prank becomes legendary

EGM ran a joke in their April 1992 issue about how to fight a mysterious character named Sheng Long. Many thought this to be real including Hong Kong publication JADEMAN COMICS, who ended up printing the fake code. It later made its way to England’s GAME ZONE, who not only printed the code but updated it to supposedly work on the SNES port! Talk about lack of research…

The infamous Sheng Long April Fools joke became something of a legend and even infiltrated its way into Street Fighter II lore. EGM would go on to conduct annual April Fools jokes as a reader contest, but they never could quite recapture the magic like they had with the Sheng Long gag.

Check out this blurb from Super Play:

sfending40

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

  • EGM: 10, 10, 9, 9  (won EGM’s 1992 Game of the Year)
  • GameFan: 100, 99, 97, 95, 88%
  • Super Play: 94%

CLOSING THOUGHTS

One of the most iconic and influential games ever
One of the most iconic and influential games ever

Street Fighter II was a happening. When it hit arcade scenes in early 1991 it changed the way we viewed video games. Sure, fighting games had existed before but it wasn’t until Street Fighter II that fighting games became a staple of the video gaming fabric. It spawned numerous clones, some of which were forgettable but a few became heavy fan favorites, and it was thanks to Street Fighter II for largely paving the way. The Super Nintendo port, while far from perfect, sure felt close to perfect back in the summer of ’92 when it originally came out. It was the first game that made me feel like we could finally play arcade games at home. Final Fight did a decent job of that, but there were too many blatant sacrifices. With Street Fighter II, however, it was a glimpse into the future that home systems were now JUST powerful enough to faithfully capture the spirit and essence of an arcade game. Moreover, I just remember the summer and fall of 1992 being dominated by SNES Street Fighter II, blistered thumbs and bruised egos. My friends and I played it to death — it was truly THE game to have back in those days.

Sure, there are far superior ports of Street Fighter II available today, and many do view the Super Nintendo port as obsolete and nothing but a nostalgic remembrance. Call me crazy but I still occasionally play this game and I’ll be damned if I don’t still love it. Even to this day, I find myself impressed by the port, knowing what they were able to squeeze into a Super Nintendo cartridge. Yeah it has the slow speed of the arcade original, and yeah it’s technically imperfect, but as a Super Nintendo game released in July of 1992, it was nothing short of a beast.

Keep on keeping on, Street Fighter
Keep on keeping on, Street Fighter

I feel very lucky that when the Street Fighter craze went down I was young enough to be awestruck yet just old enough to appreciate the magnitude of the event. Capcom hit lightning in a bottle, sparking a cross-cultural phenomenon. For every Hadoken shot around the world, every Dragon Punch, and for every Flash Kick, the Street Fighter legacy rocks on.

Graphics: 10
Sound: 10
Gameplay: 10
Longevity: 9

Overall: 10

Platinum Award
Platinum Award

Hats off to you, Capcom. We’ll never forget the memories of that special time in video gaming when fighting games were all the rage. A time when going to the arcades was the highlight of your week and everyone, truly, was kung fu fighting. No matter how old we shall grow, we’ll always remember those halcyon times and cherish those good old days forever.

King of the Monsters (SNES)

Pub: Takara | Dev: Genki | October 1992 | 8 MEGS
Pub: Takara | Dev: Genki | October 1992 | 8 MEGS

It’s early Christmas morning as I write this, and believe it or not, this game will forever be connected to Christmas. 24 years ago, in late December of 1992, my mom bought me King of the Monsters on the Super Nintendo. It was the first game she ever bought for me without first conferring with my brother. And it took something of a Christmas miracle to pull it off, so you can see my nostalgic desire to write about this game on this day. Sure, the SNES port was butchered. But the memories of this game live on to this very day. It was not only the first SNES game my mom ever bought for me but it was also one of the earliest arcade games I can remember experiencing. In fact, I remember it as if it only happened yesterday… *cue fuzzy flashback sequence*

***SOME TIME IN MID 1991***

ngarcade

The 2nd* arcade game I can remember playing was at Safeway with my brother, Kevin. It was like any other typical Tuesday night in the old neighborhood. The year was 1991. My bro and I tagged along with our dad to the local grocery store, doing our best to convince pops to buy us those delicious dinosaur fruit snacks. And if we were lucky, the WWF ice cream bars as well. We would be ecstatic if pops caved in to even just one of them. On this trip, no such luck however. We made our way to the end of a very long line. Kevin and I weren’t exactly the best behaved kids in the history of kids. Neither of us could stand still to save our lives. Unknowingly, it was a cunning strategy, for we spotted an arcade cab nearby in the corner where they sell the coal. Pops was more than happy to oblige, plopping two quarters in our hands, in exchange for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Off to the races we disappeared like two chalky ghosts in the night.

*The first arcade game I played was Street Fighter II.

When we arrived at the cab, I gazed up in amazement like it were the Sistine Chapel. What an amazing sight the Neo Geo MVS cab truly was. These were machines that housed four different SNK arcade games. I remember seeing Sengoku, a side scrolling beat ‘em up. But when I saw King of the Monsters for the first time ever, I knew I had found my match. It pitted six giant monsters against one another in a duel to the death. My brother and I were instantly sold. He picked the Ultraman clone, Astro Guy, while I chose the Godzilla lookalike, Geon. We played the tag team bedlam mode, which allowed me and my brother to team up simultaneously to rampage against two computer foes. Being an avid fan of Godzilla and monsters, I found myself enamored. My brother and I couldn’t shut up about it on the car ride home. That night I fell in love with King of the Monsters.

***DECEMBER 1991***

They scared and fascinated me all at once
Chuck E. Cheese’s was an awesome place for a kid to be

December 1991. My parents took me and my brother to our favorite place, Chuck E. Cheese’s, to celebrate the end of the year. My mother was rather strict so these rare opportunities where she allowed us to binge on our desires were not taken for granted! They ordered two large pizzas and got us 50 tokens. I knew where I was going to be for the rest of that night — at the King of the Monsters cab determined to beat it! It took me some time and way too many quarters to count but at last I did it, all while my mom sat back at the table eating unwanted leftover pizza crust and watching the whole thing go down.

This only took me an hour and about 5,000 quarters
This only took me an hour and about 500 quarters

I stepped back, drenched in sweat from wrestling with the joypad, and stared back at my mom who sat there smiling. I looked back at the arcade to watch the ending. My boy Rocky destroyed the news studio as a wide grin formed on my kisser. I recall thinking to myself, “I can’t wait for this to come home on the SNES!”

***DECEMBER 1992***

There was a certain magic in the air that night…
There was a certain magic in the air that night…

My mom and I used to go to the mall all the time. It was one of our traditions. She took me after school every Friday, rain or shine. I loved it because this was a time in life when the world was a different place. Even as young as 8, my mom allowed me to hit up my stores while she went shopping for clothes. This gave me a great sense of independence and for about 30 minutes I was on my own completely! I always visited Suncoast, Kay Bee Toys, Walden Books, Sam Goody, and of course, the classic SOFTWARE ETC.

Now rarely did she ever end up buying me anything once we reconvened, but that was never the point. It was fun enough thumbing through books, EGM magazines and drooling at the various action figures. It was the feeling that it produced. Just knowing you were on your own for half an hour made going to the mall a fun time. But the best times always came during Christmas season.

That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago...
That little blond kid was me just a year or two ago…

The mall Santa was there taking pictures, kissing babies and shaking little hands. At nine and a half years old now, I was too old for that stuff, but not old enough to not still believe in the magic of Christmas. So instead of sitting on Santa’s lap, I simply sat back from afar to admire what had been, and what once was.

My mom came over asking if I wanted to meet the mall Santa, but I told her I was too old. She looked at the kids rushing up to Santa just 20 feet away from us, lost in her thoughts. Somewhere in her aging face I saw her loosen up, as if she suddenly missed the days when I was that young scampering around. Perhaps it was the right kind of Christmas magic I’d need for what was about to transpire on that most magical December evening…

This was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

There it was, plastered in big and bold blue letters. I always made it a point to hit up SOFTWARE ETC. each time we visited the mall. Of course, I could only dream of my mom complying to buy me a video game. Still, like a moth to flame, those bold blue letters always sucked me in. I stood there that evening in sheer awe of the endless shelves of SNES goodies — games in which I could only dream of owning. And then, there it was. High on the shelf I saw it, shining like a beacon of light. KING OF THE MONSTERS for the Super Nintendo! It was just one short year ago that I’d beaten the arcade and thought to myself, “Man, I can’t wait for this to come home!” And now, it finally has. Only one problem, of course. How can I convince mom to buy it? Standing there, staring at the pristine shiny King of the Monsters box, my mind desperately raced through everything I could think of in order to weigh the odds in my favor.

I didn’t have very long to think…

“C’mon honey, we gotta get back home now.”

“WAIT!”

“What is it?”

What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?
What kind of compelling, poetic point would I make?

“That…” I pointed to the King of the Monsters box sitting on the top shelf. “I want that.”

OK, so much for poetic language and convincing arguments.

My mom gave me “the look.” Uh oh. In the history of “momkind” the look has never been good news. Whether it was a look of frustration, disappointment or disgust, the look has denied kids an untold number of desserts, toys and video games. This task, I could tell, was going to be about as easy as Quantum Physics.

“Honey, that’s fifty five dollars.”

“No, it’s fifty four ninety nine!” I quickly countered. HA! I thought I had her — ahh, the bliss of being nine years old…

“Well actually with tax it’s about sixty,” she corrected.

Well DAMN. Talk about backfiring!

And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. My trump card. I explained to her how it was my favorite game, how I had to have it, and how much joy it would bring Kevin and me. And that if she bought it, it would count for not only my Christmas gift but also my birthday as well.

My mom grabbed the box to examine it closer. “Hey, isn’t this the game you played all night last year at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Is this the same one?”

It was just the right kind of Christmas magic I needed
It was just the right kind of Christmas magic needed

I nodded furiously and watched as my mom bit her lower lip, contemplating what to do. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she took the game to the counter. I stood there in awe watching as they swiped her credit card. It was the first video game she bought for me. Outside I could hear the chattering of youngsters and the HO-HO-HOs of the mall Santa. The Christmas season was ringing in full force, and this bit of Christmas magic only punctuated the moment. I couldn’t wait to get home and play it…

NOT QUITE THE KING…

Exactly. What could possibly go wrong? Well...
Exactly. What could possibly go wrong? Well…

kotmmodekotmmode1

 

 

 

 

 

Right away we noticed there was no Player 1 and Player 2 vs. CPU 1 and CPU 2 option. In other words, there was no tornado tag team mode — hands down the best thing about the game.

kotmcade
Disappointment city right off the bat
But hey, at least we get all six
But hey, at least we’ll get all six
Love me some Poison Ghost
Really love me some Woo!
And really love me some Woo!
Wait, WHAT THE ****!
Wait, WHAT THE ****!

The HELL?! What gives? Where was the King Kong wannabe, Woo? And what about the Smog Monster AKA Hedorah, where was his twin, Poison Ghost? So not only did Genki scrub the best mode of the game, but they also scrapped two of the six monsters. Man, was I disappointed.

kotmbestp

But you know the funny thing? I was a kid and even I knew it was a pretty butchered port, but there was a big part of me that somehow managed to still enjoy it quite a bit. It was weird. So much of the game had been gutted, but it was still King of the Monsters in my living room. And, at the time, that accounted for something.

NOT JUST FLAVOR OF THE MONTH

Never leave home without it
Never leave home without it

In the early part of 1993, my mom took me to places like ROSS. I remember one time I brought the King of the Monsters manual with me. I walked up and down those aisles with my head buried in the booklet. As mediocre as the port was, I kind of became oddly semi-obsessed with it. Well, at least my mom got her sixty dollars’ worth, eh?

I studied the tactics over and over again...
I studied the tactics over and over again…

THE STORY GOES…

kotmplot

THE OBJECTIVE

kotm3count

kotmorbs

THE MONSTERS

geonkotmGEON
Special Attack: FLAME CRUSHER

When an ice glacier melted due to the abnormal warm weather in the Russian mountains, it unleashed the horror that is Geon. Unhappy to be roused from his deep slumber, he takes it out on anybody, or anything, that gets in his way. His hobbies include destroying cities and gobbling trains. The first character I selected, I have a soft spot for ol’ Geon. I tend to use him the most — his level 3 FLAME CRUSHER is quite a sight to behold.

No doubt a nod to the real King of Monsters
No doubt a nod to the real King of Monsters
A little horny, the git [... -Ed.]
A little horny, the git [… -Ed.]
Level 1 Flame Crusher
Level 1 Flame Crusher
Level 2 spirals for extra damage
Level 2 spirals for extra damage
Level 3 Flame Crusher, whoa!
Level 3 Flame Crusher, whoa!

rockykotmROCKY
Special Attack: ROCKY BOMBER

No one knows for sure where this mountain of rocks comes from. Rumor has it Rocky is a monster evolved from the Sphinx, Egypt’s God of Protection. Others believe he descended from the stars, angry with the way 20th century mankind has mistreated the environment. But one thing is for sure, he’s got a nasty disposition! Don’t let this pile of stone fool you — how Rocky can move so well is a mystery. I like Rocky. He has a cool roar and was the monster I used to beat the arcade game 25 years ago. Guess we been through a lot over the years, eh, Rocko?

Clearly inspired by this guy. Or not
Clearly inspired by this guy. Or not

rockylariatrockylariat2rockylariat3

Delivers one hell of a running clothesline. Any wrestling fan would approve!

Level 1 Rocky Balboa, I mean, Bomber
Level 1 Rocky Balboa, I mean, Bomber
Level 2 rotates for extra velocity and power
Level 2 rotates for extra velocity and power
Level 3 has only four, but still strong
Level 3 has only four, but it’s still just as strong

beetlekotmBEETLE MANIA
Special Attack: BEETLE MISSILE

An ordinary beetle residing in the Amazon, one fateful evening that all changed when the mad creature underwent a horrific and mysterious transformation. Lacking any kind of intelligence, he destroyed even the forest in which he was born! However, his skills are plenty. With a hard body shell and tremendous fighting spirit, Beetle Mania now roams the earth in search for the next great fight. Unfortunately it comes at the expense of civilization as we know it!

I thought it was deja vu...
I thought it was deja vu…

Beetle Mania was clearly based off Godzilla’s 1973 nemesis, Megalon. Like many others in the Godzilla universe, I too am a fan of the “one hit bug wonder.” It’s too bad he wasn’t resurrected for Godzilla: Final Wars like how his battle mate Gigan was, but I digress. I always found Megalon’s suit really cool.

Well, so much for Geon being a dad
Well, so much for Geon being a dad
Level 1 Beetle Missile
Level 1 Beetle Missile
Level 2 -- love that elegant green hue
Level 2 — love that elegant green hue
Level 3 Beetle Missile (that's a lot of antlers!)
Level 3 Beetle Missile (that’s a lot of antlers!)

astrokotmASTRO GUY
Special Attack: FLASH WAVE

Holding the distinct claim of being the only, uh, human, to a certain degree you understand, Astro Guy originally started out as a mad scientist. Naturally, through experimentation he transformed himself into a super musclebound creature to fight the monsters suddenly appearing all over the world. What began as noble intentions to protect cities and rid the world of monsters was soon corrupted by the absolute allure of having no equal. Now what his true intentions are is anyone’s guess…

SPECTREMAN!
SPECTREMAN!

Obviously inspired by SPECTREMAN! Ah, the tin wonder played a role in my childhood. I remember how bulky the cases were for the Spectreman tapes. It really caught your eye on the video store shelf. My dad bought me the one where he battles both an Alien and the “Monster Hedgehog.”

Ah, childhood memories
I got the bottom left one. Such weird movies they were!

The theme song was the best part

Spectreman… Spectreman…

In a flash, like a flame,
faster than a plane,
a mystery with a name,

Spectreman!

Power from space,
he’ll save the human race,
yet, they’ll never know the face of Spectreman!

We will never know the source
of his powers and his force
as he guides this planet’s course…

Spectreman!

And don't forget Jet Jaguar!
And Jet Jaguar!
And of course, Ultraman
And of course, Ultraman
Does one mean basement dropkick
Does one mean basement dropkick
Level 1 Flash Wave. Just like Ultraman
Level 1 Flash Wave. Just like Ultraman…
Level 2 sees an upgrade to five
Level 2 sees an upgrade to five
Level 3 has nine! Nice
Level 3 has nine! Nice

THE GAME

kotmokayama

You battle each monster twice. In the arcade this meant a grueling 12 rounds. At home it’s a much more manageable 8. And this is the only time I’m happy to see four monsters instead of the full six. Stage 1 is home to Geon, but since we’ve seen it already (see the screenshots above), let us jump straight to stage 2 where we take on Rocky.

kotmoka

The stages are based off real landmarks
The levels are based off real landmarks

As a kid I thought the stages were randomly constructed. Years later I came to realize they’re based on real life landmarks. Nice.

kotmoka1

kotmosaka

kotmosa

Osaka is gorgeous, isn't it?
Osaka is gorgeous, isn’t it?

Yes, some of these towering skyscrapers can be seen, and destroyed, in the two Osaka stages. With Okayama having no tall buildings really, switching over then to Osaka was a very welcome sight.

Just another homage, really
Just another homage, really

kotmosa2

Ooooh, ahhhh
Ooooh, ahhhh
Just like 'em SOCK 'EM robots!
Just like ‘em SOCK ‘EM robots!

“Alright gentlemen. We went over the rules in the back but just to reiterate, I want a good clean fight, alright? That means no zapping below the belt. Remember, I’m fair but firm. Let’s touch gloves!”

kotmosa7

kotmosa8kotmosa9

Monsters love to play hide and seek too, apparently. Or hide and maul, as it were.

What's better than a piledriver?
What’s better than a piledriver?
Sending 'em through a building in the process!
Sending ‘em through a building!

Nothing was better than hitting a big move on your opponent and watching the poor hapless sap go crashing through one of the big monuments scattered about. Sure, you can demolish the big buildings with three punches yourself, but the real fun comes in the form of sending your rival through one!

kotmosa6

kotmkyoto

kotmkyo1

kyotobuilding

Such a chivalrous gentleman, that Astro Guy
Such a chivalrous gentleman, that Astro Guy

kotmkyo2

kotmkyo7

kotmkyo6

kotmkyo3kotmkyo4

 

 

 

 

 

Adding insult to injury was always fun.

kotmkyo5

kotmtokyo

kotmtok

kotmcbkotmcb2kotmcb3

 

 

 

 

 

Wham, bam, thank you m'am
Wham, bam, thank you m’am

kotmgetupkotmgetup2

The classic GET UP severed hand remains. Continue and experience a jolt of power as your monster gets resurrected.

kotmtok1

kotmtok2

Tokyo Tower beautifully replicated!
The throw inflicts the least amount of damage
The throw inflicts the least amount of damage
But can easily sending them through a landmark!
But can easily send them through a landmark!

kotmtok6

Indeed you are not, Hideki-san
Indeed you are not, Hideki-san

kotmtok7

THE END ?

tkrnews

tkrnews1

tkrnews2

tkrnews3

tkrnews4

UNH, JUST THROW IT ON ME, UNH!

Battleships are fair play
Battleships are fair play
Does little damage but fun to do nonetheless
Does little damage but fun to do nonetheless
Jump and grab a helicopter
Jump and grab a helicopter
You can also chuck the maser tanks
You can also chuck the maser tanks

CHEAP TRICKS

[Hey, they stole your dating philosophy -Ed.]
[Hey, they stole your dating philosophy -Ed.]
kotmtricks1kotmtricks2Hit them with the strongest move in the game — the german suplex.

“What’s so cheap about this?”

For some ridiculous reason, this move leads to a re-dizzy. You can repeat this tactic 20 times in a row. No joke. Did someone not play test this thing? One might be thinking, “Well it must be pretty hard to dizzy them, right?” Not so. A few consecutive throws with their health bar on low does the trick. They get up in a daze, go behind them and press Y. Boom, german suplex. Then wait for them to get back up in a daze yet again, and repeat. For ultimate damage, while they’re on laying on the ground, unleash your special attack. Sometimes you can nail them twice with your projectile. Yikes.

The german suplex can also be applied in front during a grapple by pressing Y+B. But when your opponent is dizzy, simply pressing Y or B from behind works.

But hold on a second, if you thought THAT was cheap…

Unlike a fighting game, you can't block
Unlike a fighting game, you can’t block

kotmtricks4

No blocking means you're screwed
No blocking means you’re screwed

kotmtricks6kotmtricks7There’s only one answer to this, besides your opponent mistiming it. The Japanese military finally notches a small victory against giant rubber suited monsters!

GENKI RESPONDS

kotmrvg

Hey thanks, Genki. Appreciate it. I hope you’re not just sucking up…

Genki dude: Of course not… oh, here’s some fruitcake — for you!

O_o

Genki dude: Uh the holidays, sir.

Ahhh. Si, si…

MISCELLANEOUS

kotmskys

kotmskys2

kotmdislodge

kotmwater

jetmegFeel like it’s Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon all over again! Hmmm, come to think of it, seeing Godzilla and his buddies in a King of the Monsters universe would have been pretty cool. Imagine Godzilla and company in this style of game. I’m sure we would have ate it up! Well, at least we got Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen.

 

 

kotm-mm3meman3boxRocky’s bite animation always reminded me of the robot bloke on the NES Mega Man 3 cover! You see the resemblance, don’t cha?

 

 

 

Speaking of resemblances...
Speaking of resemblances…
Whoa, striking, isn't it?
Whoa, striking, isn’t it?

Credit this wonderful art here to Nathan Newell and his excellent cool site nathansmuscleblog.blogspot.com/

That’s Black Hole Sunshine vs. Wood Beetle for the record, but damn do Rocky and Beetle Mania look like them!

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Pretty decent looking ad, at least
Pretty decent looking ad, at least

It was all quiet on the western front. The game was released just before GameFan’s time and EGM only ran a quick one page preview. They ended up never reviewing it. Super Play rated it 79% though an actual review never appeared in the magazine. SNES King of the Monsters just never got much publicity. If only it did then maybe I wouldn’t have been so caught off guard with all the cuts!

I remember reading this little blurb over and over
I remember reading this little blurb over and over

GENESIS VS. SNES VERSIONS

kotmcollage

Which port is better? I’ve never played the Genesis port but it does look damn impressive. Looks much more identical to its arcade brother than the SNES port does. How it plays though I have no idea. Released about one year after the SNES port, the tag team mode and two monsters are still missing, but everything else looks to be pretty good. Check the graphical differences between the Genesis and SNES ports below.

I'll take this over the eight small fireballs
I’ll take this over the eight small fireballs
Looking nice there, Astro Guy
Looking nice there, Astro Guy
Looks painful! Shame, Genki, shame
Looks painful! Shame, Genki, shame
Sound off below if you've played the Genesis port
Sound off below if you’ve played the Genesis port

GameFan gave the Genesis port some good loving with scores of 89, 87, 83 and 82%. “It blows the doors off the SNES version” and “makes it look like dog meat” were some of the comments recorded. The Genesis port was developed by SPS.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

King of the Monsters? Try King of the Mediocre
King of the Monsters? More like King of the Mediocre

The arcade original was released by SNK in Japan on February 25, 1991. By freak accident, exactly 15 years later, I bought the SNES port (for the second time but this time with my own money). Back in ’92 I recall having a strange fascination with the port despite my knowledge of how butchered it was. Replaying the SNES port in 2006, I wondered how much my opinion might change or not. Turns out not much has. It’s a port that was stripped of its best feature and a whopping 33% of its original cast. It should have been so much better, but what remains is kind of still King of the Monsters. It was never a perfect game to begin with. Some key aspects missing definitely accentuate the flaws but what’s left isn’t unplayable by any means. You just have to take it for what it is, or simply leave it. Still, I couldn’t help but enjoy playing it for 15-20 minutes. Perhaps if nothing else but for the nostalgia of that unforgettable Christmas 1992 season. I acknowledge this game is ho-hum at best, but it is admittedly something of a guilty pleasure for me.

Always a gentleman, that Astro Guy
Always a gentleman, that Astro Guy

The graphics are the best part of this game. Though grainy and lacking intricate detail in the monsters themselves, the cities look pretty fantastic, especially the ones at night. Each stage gives you plenty of space to roam within the confines of two electrical barriers. Sound and music is decent, fitting for this game which has a Japanese 1960’s B-Movie feel to it. Sadly, it’s the game play that abandons it. What could have been! First, the grapple system. Is it based on timing? No. Button mashing? Not that either. Nope, it appears that the victor is totally random. And thus, grappling is a wash and never feels wholly satisfying. Secondly, to win a match you must score a 3 count on your rival. But in order to do so, you must pin them multiple times after their health bar has been fully depleted. Let’s say you pound on Rocky for three minutes solid once his energy bar has hit zero before going for the cover. He’ll still kick out at 2 (in John Cena fashion). What gives? It makes no sense to have to pin them several times every single time. It’s rigged to be like this, and it feels incredibly cheap. You should be rewarded for kicking the snot out of them, but you’re not. And then you have the two erroneous gameplay tricks as documented earlier, in addition to the missing tornado tag team mode and monsters.

O, where art thou?
O, where art thou?

Speaking of the monsters, and this by the way was prevalent in the arcade game as well, the monsters are exactly the same! Well, aside from their special move and rushing attack. No differences in strength, speed, agility, or any of that good stuff. The moveset is severely limited — you’re relegated to a throw, german suplex, pile driver and a bear hug or a bite hold in a grapple. How cool would it be if the monsters had their own unique moves, to go along with speed and strength differences? :(

Love the Japanese '60s B-Movie feel
Love the Japanese ’60s B-Movie feel

Yet despite all these glaring flaws, I still kind of like the game in some small ways. Call it nostalgia, call it what you want, but there are some games you just have a connection with (for better or for worse). Though they’re far from being great, or even good, you still play them once in a blue moon because in some strange and small way you enjoy doing so. We all have a few games for which that rings true. Nobody can say exactly why someone would like it, except for that person, and that person alone. Yeah, part of me is still annoyed that Woo and Poison Ghost are nowhere to be found and that the tag mode was scrapped, but like a good longtime friend you accept them for who they are, warts and all.

Graphics: 7
Sound: 6
Gameplay: 5
Longevity: 4

Overall: 5.5

kotmedio

Hey you gypped us first!
Hey, you gypped us first, damnit!

Final Fight (SNES)

Pub and Dev: Capcom | September 1991 | 8 MEGS
Pub and Dev: Capcom | September 1991 | 8 MEGS

Are you a sadistic and bloodthirsty game player? Do you enjoy partaking in the odd boisterous barbaric brutality? If you answered yes, then you sir probably enjoy the classic beat ‘em up genre. The SNES is loaded with them. Take control of the Lee brothers, the Battletoads, ninjas, knights, hell, even Batman! Final Fight was the very first to hit the SNES and helped pave the way for others to come. It’s hard to believe it’s now been over 25 years since it came out. It’s amazing how so many of our childhood favorites have been celebrating 20, 25 and even 30 year anniversaries in the past year or so. These games keep getting older, but our memories remain!

By the way, talk about a funky box art. I imagine their dialogue like this:

“Are those skull earrings?”
“Why yes, Mommy got me them.”
“Cool, I have a pair just like that at home.”
“Yeah ain’t they great. They accentuate my scar!”

THE FIGHT BEGINS

fifight120

Final Fight originated as an arcade in Japan (December 1989) and shortly made its way to the US at the turn of the 1990s. No, it wasn’t the first beat ‘em up ever, but it was one of the earliest and the first to hit the Super Nintendo. It will forever hold that distinction as #1… but is it truly number one, as in the best?

Let us take a closer look then…

FINAL FRIGHT: A HAUNTING TO REMEMBER

scaryhall

Not only was Final Fight the first beat ‘em up to hit the Super Nintendo, it also happened to be the second SNES game I had ever played. Way back in December 1991 on a cold and dreary morning while vacationing in beautiful Lake Tahoe. As documented in F-Zero, the first SNES game I ever played, I found myself home alone on a Sunday morning in a huge cabin that my family rented out. My family and friends left for breakfast while I was still asleep. My mom didn’t want to wake me up after a long night of hanging out with the guys so she decided to let me sleep in. The moment I woke up, I felt a chill and knew something wasn’t right. The cabin was right out of a horror movie, with demonic looking hallways and weird noises hissing everywhere as though it were a real breathing entity. The cabin was freezing too! I crept downstairs and found a note from my mom explaining why she let me sleep in, and telling me to make some Honey Nut Cheerios. But food was the last thing on my mind!

scarydoll

Ever feel a presence in the room with you? That someone, or something, is watching you? That’s how I felt on that cold, dreary December morning of 1991. But being 8 years old and resourceful, I believed spirits would not mess with me if I had the radio or TV turned on — any kind of noise. I believed they only attacked those who were alone. So I turned on the TV and watched a WWF show for a while. Then I spotted Tommy’s Super Nintendo lying on the floor. It suddenly dawned on me that this was my chance! With all the “cool” older kids gone, little ole me could finally have a turn. I started with F-Zero and then played Final Fight until my family and friends came back. Sure, part of me was ecstatic to see them again — I was no longer the lone prisoner trapped inside this cabin from hell — but something funny happened during my inaugural playthrough with the SNES. It made me forget about evil spirits and instead transported me to the future of video gaming, where you could snap a guy’s neck in two and soar 200 feet across a race track suspended high above a futuristic city — all in stunning graphics and sound. And it was nothing short of magic.

Damn, can’t believe it’s now been 25 years since that fateful December morning. For more details, check out My Super Nintendo Genesis.

THE STORY GOES…

ffightplot

ffightplot2

finfigplot

finfigplot1

finfigplot2

finfigplot3

finfigplot4

"Forget GUY, it's just you and me, old-timer!"
“Forget GUY, it’s just you and me, old-timer!”

capcomrvglogo

finfigmode7

Shhh! How dare you accuse Capcom of milking a series!
How dare you accuse Capcom of milking a series!
OK you might have have a point there...
OK you might have a point there…

finfigoptions

Yes, there is an option mode but you had to do this code to activate it first. With Extra Joy on, your special move is just “A” instead of “Y” + “B” — hey, every little bit of help counts, right?

Nope, but damn can they fight... observe!
Nope, but damn can they fight… observe!

MIKE HAGGAR

fifight1fifight

 

 

 

 

 

Haggar has perfected his German Suplex to a tee, ramming his victim head first into the canvas. That’ll give them something to remember you by! Er, that is, if they are still conscious…

fifight2fifight2bfifight2c

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pick their sorry carcass up, give them a few headbutts and send them packing with a smooth piledriver. Simple but effective combo.

fifight3fifight3bfifight3cfifight3d

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you just need a little space. In such instances, employ the devastating spinning clothesline. It’ll teach the bastards a thing or two about personal space!

fifight4fifight4bfifight4c

 

 

 

 

Did you know you can punch twice then immediately throw them? Just hold up or down on the control pad while you’re delivering your punches. I never knew about this back in the day! It completely makes the game a much easier (and more enjoyable) experience. It turns you into a lethal, efficient killing machine.

CODY

fifight5fifight5bfifight5c

 

 

 

 

Cody’s knuckle sandwich combo. Want fries with that?

fifight6fifight6bfifight6cfifight6d

 

 

 

 

 

For major damage and a sick looking combo, jump in with a downward strike, punch them three times and polish it off with a shoulder throw. +10 for style, +100 if you knock out some other baddies on the opposite side too!

Cody's Spiral Kick makes the Lee brothers proud
Cody’s Spiral Kick makes the Lee brothers proud

MAP QUEST

fifight8

Starting out in the classic slum, march your way through crime-ridden Metro City in five different war zones. Yes, the arcade had six. But more on that a bit later…

PUTS THE “FINAL” IN FINAL FIGHT…

fifight9fifight9b

 

 

 

 

Who could ever forget Final Fight‘s perilous continue screen?

It's OK... you certainly weren't alone... *evil grin*
It’s OK… you certainly weren’t alone… *evil grin*
Ah quit yer bitching, I like to cut it close "BUDDY"
Ah quit yer bitching. I like to cut it close, “BUDDY”

STAGE ONE — THE SLUM

So, what's one to do?
So, what’s one to do?
Extend the olive branch!
Extend the olive branch!

Maybe Haggar’s got some candy there, or money. You know, the homeless epidemic has really hit Metro City hard as of late…

[Or maybe Haggar is offering him a black eye -Ed.]

There’s that, too…

"That's the last time I buy deodorant at Dollar Tree..."
“That’s the last time I buy deodorant at Dollar Tree…”
What's inside is enTIREly a mystery. Sorry
What’s inside is enTIREly a mystery

Sorry, that was pretty bad. Knock over tires or drum cans to reveal items for extra points, weapons or food to replenish your health. I wonder who puts it there? I guess every major crime lord has a little bit of heart in them after all…

Whoa, that's harsh. Come on, it's almost 2017!
Whoa, that’s harsh. Come on, it’s almost 2017!
"If you want some, come get some!"
“YOU WANT SOME? COME GET SOME!”
They never learn, do they?
They never learn, do they?
"I'm warning you -- step back, bitches!"
“I’m warning you — step back, bitches!”

OH CRAP! Surrounded by a group of petty thugs, what’s a guy to do in this ruthless day and age?!

Yup, they never learn
Yup, they never learn

Connecting on your special move takes away a small portion of your health, but it’s the right call when surrounded. Otherwise, you’ll most likely be on the receiving end of a gang attack and lose significantly more energy than you would had you used your special move at the first sign of trouble.

Just what Mike needs
Uh oh…

Haggar can only toss the knife while Cody can actually hang onto it for a bit and go MICHAEL MYERS up in this mutha! Cool little touch to further differentiate the two. If you’re playing as Cody and wish to launch the knife, then simply hold down. Sweet.

"Here, fatty fatty..."
“Here, fatty fatty…”
Very similar range of motion
Very similar range of motion

Much love and respect to baseball pitchers. It’s such an unnatural throwing position and why so many pitchers have jacked up shoulders. By the way, it’s a little known fact that Mike Haggar was the MVP of the Metro City Maniacs* — a softball recreational league that plays ball every other summer. *Complete and utter BS.

Talk about the wrong side of town...
Talk about the wrong side of town…
*whistles* "Damn you look fine today, Mike!"
*whistles* “Damn you look fine today, Mike!”

Say hello to the first boss, Damnd! Er I mean, Trasher. Damn that censorship, pun intended.

At any rate, Damnd is a bit of a puss who prefers calling on his lame lackeys to do the fighting for him. His trademark sit and whistle makes the seamless leap over to the SNES port. At opportune times, Damnd will try to blindside you, the gutless git!

"Come at me, bro!"
“Come at me, bro!”
Most dramatic death ever
Most dramatic death ever

“UGH!”

“That’s right! Shouldn’t have messed with me, pal!”

Hey, he minored in acting
Hey, he did minor in acting

“How could I lose to a guy in the middle of a mid-life crisis!?”

“HEY! SHHHH! Keep that on the down low, will ya!”

Damnd croaks
Damnd crumples over

“Damnd bastard! Throwing shade at me huh? This serves you right!”

"Trump woulda killed me anyway"
“Trump woulda killed me anyway!”

“Jeez would you go on and die already!?”

STAGE TWO — THE SUBWAY / PARK

Nice rumbling sound effect; this IS the SUPER Nintendo
I’ve always loved the rumbling sound effect here

fifight32fifight32b

 

 

 

 

 

El Gado with the ol’ reliable KIDNEY PUNCH.

fifight33fifight33b

 

 

 

 

 

… and Hags with the even more reliable sword slash!

fifight34fifight34b

 

 

 

 

 

fifight34cfifight34d

 

 

 

 

 

Check out how deceptively deep this game is. Yup, when timed right, you can deflect the enemy’s projectiles. Sure, you could just sidestep it, but we all know one universal truth: REAL MEN DROPKICK!

That you are, El Gado
That you are, El Gado
Cue that audience "ooooh" soundtrack
Cue that audience “ooooh” soundtrack
Public transportation makes the world a better place
Public transportation: making the world a better place
I guess he never knew up in a big family...
I guess he never grew up in a big family…
Sodom, er, Katana is a very lethal and agile boss
Sodom, er, Katana is a very lethal and agile boss
Andore in the front row. I'll deal with him later...
Andore in the front row. I’ll deal with him later…

BONUS ROUND

fifight41

fifight42

fifight43

fifight44

fifight45

fifight46

fifight47

fifight48

fifight49

fifight50

WHOAAA OHHHHH!

WHOAAA OHHHHH!

fifight51

fifight52

We’re not gonna take it! No! We ain’t gonna take it! We’re not gonna take it anymooooooore!

NO WAY!

"WE'RE FREE, WE'LL FIGHT, YOU'LL SEEEE!!"
“WE’RE FREE, WE’LL FIGHT, YOU’LL SEEEEE!!”

Ah, you gotta love Twisted Sister. Their cult song “We’re Not Gonna Take It” became something of a rebellious cry for teenagers and young adults in the mid ’80s with its never-say-die, take-no-BS mantra. In some circles it became the anthem of a generation more than 30 years ago.

Oh my car indeed
Oh my car indeed

STAGE THREE — WESTSIDE

Haggar, you don't like very many things do you?
Haggar, you don’t like very many things do you?

fifight55fifight55b

 

 

 

 

 

Forgot to RSVP? As long as you didn’t forget how to pull off a dropkick, you’re good to go.

Gado isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer *rimshot*
Gado isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer *rimshot*
Cody pops in for a special cameo like only he can
Cody pops in for a special cameo like only he can
They told him don't you ever come around here
They told him don’t you ever come around here
SO BEAT IT! No one wants to be defeated...
SO BEAT IT! But you want to be bad…
These two Andores are the sub-bosses of Westside
These two Andores are the sub-bosses of Westside

fifight61fifight61

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of Andore, the big beefy goons in beat ‘em ups were always my favorite kind of enemies to fight. Abobo was an actual boss while Andore is a top-tier regular enemy. I have a soft spot for bad guys who aren’t quite boss-worthy, but are much tougher than all the other regular bad guys. Whenever I think “beat ‘em up baddies,” Andore and Abobo are the first two I always think of.

J moonlights as a Streets of Rage baddie... it's true
J moonlights as a Streets of Rage baddie… it’s true

fifight63

There you go Haggar! Now you got the rhythm down!
There ya go Haggar! Now you got the rhythm down!
Meet Metro City's corrupt police force!
Meet Metro City’s corrupt police force!
Beware his Billy Club...
Beware his Billy Club…

STAGE FOUR — BAY AREA

fifight67

“WOOF!”

“Cute dog.”

“Hey Haggar!”

“What? Have I taken one too many blows to the head? Doggie, YOU TALKIN’ TO ME?”

“You’re lucky! Capcom took out a WHOLE stage to make life easier for ya, and for them as well! You know, less programming on their part.”

"Sorry pal, I don't swing  that way..."
“Don’t let the mustache fool you. I don’t play that…”

fifibathfifibath1

 

 

 

 

 

Nobody did bathroom scenes better than Capcom. Remember Birdie’s stage from Street Fighter Alpha 2? It’s always a riot to beat up bad guys against a grimy and dodgy looking backdrop! This is FINAL FIGHT after all, not friggin’ ballet!

Capcom certainly knew how to work their restrooms
Capcom certainly knew how to work their restrooms
Yeah let's not piss off the angry maniac, no?
Yeah let’s not piss off the angry maniac, no?

BONUS ROUND

fifiglassbfifiglass

 

 

 

 

 

Smash several glass windows in succession. It’s a lot tougher than breaking the car. Who knew glass could be harder to demolish than a car? Oh those silly Capcom hipsters.

STAGE FIVE — UPTOWN

What a macho lot we are
What a macho lot we are
"Curse my bloody mid-life crisis!"
“Curse my bloody mid-life crisis!”
Neither of them are too smart...
Neither of them are too smart…
Boys will be boys!
Boys will be boys!
They don't really hide in the hedges. Just a flunky glitch
They don’t really hide in the hedges. Just a glitch
Shouldn't have dropped out of Metro City High...
Shouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City High…
[Gee, thanks for the helpful tip, Einstein! -Ed.]
[Gee, thanks for the helpful tip, Einstein! -Ed.]
Another flunky glitch
Another flunky glitch

Watch out for the shattered glass. See what happens? OH CRAP, HAGGAR’S LEGS! It proves that broken glass isn’t safe at all. [Maybe you shouldn’t have dropped out of Metro City Community College -Ed.]

As they say, this ain't his first barbeque! Quite literally
This ain’t his first barbeque — quite literally

fifight79

fifight80

fifight81

Or even better, you get to pick your own path! Not
Or even better, if you could pick your own path
That ain't right...
That ain’t right…

Say hello to the final boss, Belger. He must be real happy to see Haggar, because he’s got a second arrow gun hiding in his pocket there…

fifight84

fifight85

fifight86fifight86b

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jessica has no eyes. Damn, Haggar with them freaky genes. Belger is a handful, but you can actually grab and throw him consecutively if timed and positioned correctly.

fifight87

A neat touch. Belger really only cares about himself
A neat touch. Belger really only cares about himself

fifight89

fifight90

fifight91

fifight92

fifight93

[Hmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.]
[Hmmm, where have I heard and seen this before? -Ed.]
fifight95

fifight96

fifight97

'TIL THEN I WAAALK ALONE
‘TIL THEN I WAAALK ALONE

fifight99

fifight100

fifight101

fifight102

It doesn't take much for a lady to be, ahem, persuasive
It doesn’t take much for a lady to be… persuasive

ARCADE VS. SNES COMPARISON

Guy is missing in the SNES port
Guy is missing in the SNES port

Fans of Guy were bummed out to find he was nowhere to be found in the SNES port. Capcom then released Final Fight Guy on the SNES in July 1994. This version allowed you to play as Guy but Cody was taken out and there’s still no simultaneous 2 player mode. What the hell, Capcom? Shame on you.

fifight105

fifight106

fifight107

We hardly knew ya, two player mode *sniff*
We hardly knew ya, two player mode *sniff*

More disappointing than losing Guy was losing the 2 player mode. Early beat ‘em ups like Rival Turf proved it was possible. Even with one player, Final Fight occasionally slows down to a crawl at certain points. Capcom didn’t quite yet master the ins and outs of the SNES in 1991, but as we all know, they soon would in the years to come.

Arcade original
Arcade original

fifight110fifight110b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elevators were modified. You don’t actually see your character ride through the elevator in the SNES port.

Metro City ought to look decayed and decrepit
Metro City ought to look decayed and decrepit

Obviously the SNES could only replicate so much of the arcade. Of all the little details I personally missed the rundown jagged wooden set piece there. Baddies remain the same for the most part though, sans one major change. But more on that later.

"Excuse me sir, do you by chance have any Mentos?"
“Excuse me sir, do you by chance have any Mentos?”

SNES couldn’t have the word “SEXY” sprawled across their bathroom doors, could they? Instead, they have the word “kiss.” Come on, Capcom! At least change it up completely. How about something like “Mad Gear rules!” Sure, it’s super generic, but it’s still a lot better than just “kiss.”

Three is a crowd in the SNES port
Three is a crowd in the SNES port

The SNES port sees a maximum of three baddies onscreen at any one time. The arcade had as many as eight! Obviously, you can’t expect much on this end. There were many 16-bit beat ‘em ups that maxed out at three bad guys.

The lost stage
The lost stage

Here’s the missing fourth stage: the Industrial Zone. It’s very tough and I’m fine without it, but it does lose points for pure authenticity. Oh, see the scantily clad broad there?

"Ch-ch-ch-changes!"
“Ch-ch-ch-changes!”

Roxy and Poison were way too controversial for Nintendo of America, so Capcom altered it to be this lame looking bloke instead. Sid and Billy, sorry to say this but y’all just weren’t the same.

Rolento did show up in Final Fight 2, though
Rolento did show up in Final Fight 2, though

Rolento, being the boss of the scrapped Industrial Zone, is also MIA.

Belger returned as a zombie in Final Fight Revenge
Belger returned as a zombie in Final Fight Revenge

Belger didn’t change much in the SNES port. Though in the arcade he actually had a wheelchair while in the SNES port it looked more like a mobile love seat, which would suit Jessica just fine I’m sure [OH LORD! The images… AHHH! -Ed.]

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Being one of the earliest SNES releases, some critics were kind enough to overlook its deficiencies. Many fans, however, were not as forgiving.

  • EGM: 8, 7, 7, 7
  • Super Play: 86%
"Yeah, don't be so damnd hard!"
“Yeah, don’t be so Damnd harsh!”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"UMM... any one of you happen to be BIGDICK69?"
“UHH… any one of you boys happen to be BIGDICK69?”

The Super Nintendo port of Final Fight is undoubtedly flawed. No 2 player mode, no Guy, an entire missing stage and only up to three enemies on the screen at any one time. It sounds like a lot is missing but when you actually play it, it still comes off a quality beat ‘em up. The gameplay is still there and when you consider this was one of the earliest SNES releases, the whole thing somehow manages to come off as impressive. Those visuals were mind blowing back in 1991. You had to see it 25 years ago to truly appreciate it. I mean, the characters were HUGE for the time, and I remember thinking to myself, “Where the hell is the coin slot?” As kids obviously we didn’t know any better. Nowadays it’s easy to see what the shortcomings are, but for an early launch game Final Fight impressed. The sound effects had a nice crunch to them and it did bring a lovely arcade feel home to our living rooms.

Rest In Peace, Guy
Rest In Peace, Guy

For all of its shortcomings, Final Fight still plays remarkably well. Compared to other SNES beat ‘em ups that came out later, Final Fight plays as well if not better than a good handful of them. It’s one of those weird games that you kind of have to grade on a bit of a curve. Viewed strictly in a bubble of its release date — September 1991 — this was a quality product, despite the missing elements. It’s not the first SNES beat ‘em up I reach for when I’m in the mood to kick some 16-bit ass, but I have to admit I do enjoy playing it still to this day because the gameplay has held up 25 years later. If it had a 2 player mode it would earn an even better score but as is, it’s still pretty good. Hardcore anal fans need not apply, however. This one ain’t for you. For the rest of us, you could play far worse beat ‘em ups on the Super Nintendo than Final Fight.

Graphics: 9
Sound: 8
Gameplay: 7.5
Longevity: 6

AwardOverall: 7.5
Bronze Award

 

fifight120b