March | 2016 | RVGFanatic

WWF Memories

What The World Is Watching — Warning: wrestling nostalgia overload ahead

I love and will always love wrestling. Growing up, I was a huge WWF fan. A mark, “if you wheel” (R.I.P. “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes). With WrestleMania right around the corner, I find myself reminiscing fondly about my WrestleMania weekend experience this time last year (2015). It also made me think of my fandom origins and what wrestling has meant to me growing up.

IT BEGAN ONE SATURDAY NIGHT IN ’87

THE MEGA POWERS! — The infamous Handshake Heard Round The World

My fandom began in 1987 when one night my uncle flipped on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I witnessed the awesome pairing of the “Immortal” Hulk Hogan and “Macho Man” Randy Savage, better known as The Mega Powers. Macho Man’s raspy, iconic voice of “Ooh yea dig it!” combined with the Hulkster’s classic trademark saying of “Eat your vitamins, train hard and say your prayers” won me over. The two colorful characters were bigger than life. And in that moment they made me, an impressionable four year old boy, believe in a greater force and a higher power, brutha.

From that point on, I was hooked for life. It was not long before my uncle took me to the local video store so we could rent the latest wrestling extravaganzas on VHS. My brother got into it as well, and for the three of us, wrestling quickly became a religion.

Ah, them vintage VHS covers — The cover of Halloween Havoc ’89 haunts me to this day

My uncle and I rented all our wrestling tapes from Video Mart. A mom and pop shop, Video Mart had a solid wrestling selection right next to the horror section. It was a blast gawking at the various covers. The one that sticks out in my mind even to this day is Halloween Havoc ’89. It looked more like a horror movie. I felt the only thing missing from Halloween Havoc ’89 was a white William Shatner mask. The Legion of Doom posing with that sinister pumpkin grinning in the background is firmly embedded in my soul.

BECOMING A CULTURAL PHENOMENON

Wrestling exploded beyond just television. You also had them in the form of toys. What ’80s child doesn’t remember M.U.S.C.L.E.?

Hasbro's WWF lineup was the best — Fathering 101: when in doubt, bribe

But the real prize was Hasbro’s first WWF run. In the summer of 1990, my mom and brother went to Paris for vacation, leaving me and my old man to fend for ourselves. There are three things that resulted from that which I fondly recall:

I missed them dearly, especially my mom
I ate a lot of McDonald’s (my mom did all the cooking)
It was the summer that I discovered Hasbro’s WWF lineup. I never looked back

They don't make 'em like they used to — They don’t make ‘em like they used to

When my brother got back from Paris, he and I built our collection together slowly but surely. There were 12 figures in the original 1990 lineup. We had all of them but one…

My white whale, Jake "The Snake" Roberts — My white whale, Jake “The Snake” Roberts

One Saturday night, in a most shocking turn of events, my mom told me and my brother that she was taking us to Toys R Us to find the last action figure we needed — in her words – “the wrestler with the snake.” My mom was frugal but there was definitely magic in the air that night. Thanks mom.

In addition to their toys, the WWF even made trading cards, which my bro and I quickly began collecting.

Virgil signed my card, and he didn't charge me $50! — Virgil signed my card, and he didn’t charge me $50!

Google “Lonely Virgil” for a laugh.

One day in late ’92 there was a sign at our local mall advertising an upcoming special appearance by WWF superstar Virgil. My uncle, brother and I were stoked. This was our chance to meet our first wrestler up close and personal. I wanted to ask Virgil one question: “Is wrestling fake?” I replayed the question in my head for days. But by the time I came face to face with Virgil and saw his bulging muscles, my mind went completely blank! Even though Virgil was a lower tier wrestler, he was larger than life and I found myself in sheer awe of the guy. Such is the magic of wrestling!

The WWF found more ways to penetrate the consciousness of the public in the early ’90s.

Damn best bar in town! — Best damn ice cream bar in town! #CMPunk

I was a subscriber in 1994... — I was a subscriber in 1994…

One of my most crushing childhood disappointments — An Andre-sized disappointment

THE BEST WRESTLING WEEKEND OF MY LIFE

My childhood best friend Nelson and I grew up huge WWF fanatics. We always promised each other that one day, somehow, we would attend a WrestleMania together. Last year, we finally made good on a 20+ year childhood vow. We made the trip over and it turned out to be three days of wrestling nirvana. Join me for a look back.

Jeez, I can’t believe it’s already been one year. Wow

NXT is WWE’s “developmental” brand.

It was great seeing Hideo Itami and "the Demon" Finn Balor in person — Hideo Itami and “the Demon” Finn Balor killed it

Charlotte and Sasha had a match at midnight that stole the show

I’ll never forget being there. The energy in that building was electric. We chanted all night long, and the wrestling was SUPERB. WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross came out to sit at ringside and received a rousing ovation. There was a real “ECW vibe” to the whole event, and when it finally ended at 1 AM, five thousand crazed wrestling fanatics filled the streets of downtown San Jose. It was quite the scene! WrestleMania was now just two days away and you could feel this incredible buzz. Everyone was drunk on wrestling. It’s corny but I get the feels just thinking back on it.

Speaking of good ole JR, the very next morning (a mere 10 hours later) it was off to…

Jim Ross was a long time commentator of the WWE and often considered by many as pro wrestling’s best commentator of all time (with all due respect to the late great Gordon Solie). JR has accumulated a great deal of epic wrestling tales over the years, and I wasn’t about to miss out on JR Story Time.

JR opened his bit with an amusing mock phone call. It went something like this…

“Oh hey Vince. Hey listen, I’m kind of busy right now. I’ve got um, a few folks here (note: there were 800 of us, so that line drew a good laugh). I’m running a show here bah Gawd, but um, you wouldn’t know that would you? Oh, as it pertains to tomorrow night’s main event between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns, I’m telling ya, GO WITH BROCK.”

About 90% of the room popped, while the other 10% (the Roman fanboys) quietly stewed.

All in all, a good time was had by all. JR told stories around the campfire, and then there was a Q&A session. Samoa Joe also made a special guest appearance. It was fun. Next, it was off to…

My favorite, the Macho Man Randy Savage, was getting inducted — About time my favorite, Macho Man, got in!

I enjoyed the Hall of Fame, but it was definitely my least favorite of the four events that weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some WWE Hall of Fame. The stories are what make it great. The speeches in 2015 left something to be desired, especially compared to other years. It’d be a different story if Randy Savage were still alive and able to speak, but it was not meant to be.

Finally, it was the moment Nelson and I had been waiting 20+ years for…

If you're a wrestling fan, you gotta go at least once — If you’re a wrestling fan, you gotta go at least once

Things started off hot with a nutty ladder match

Mark out moment, HE'S FINALLY HERE! — Mark out moment, HE’S FINALLY HERE!

"JUDGMENT DAY... IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME" — *“JUDGMENT DAY… IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME”*

Triple H always had badass Wrestlemania entrances — Triple H always had badass WrestleMania entrances

Electric atmosphere. You had to be there! — The Icon vs. The Game. Atmosphere was off the charts

Time stood still for a moment. DX vs. nWo!

The Rock and Ronda electrified 77,000+ fans

Love the staggering scarecrows. Shame it was still light outside, though

Even a jaded fan has to admit this was pretty cool — Even a jaded fan had to admit this spot was pretty cool

The Undertaker kneelng as dusk fell was eerily awesome — Undertaker kneeling as dusk fell was eerily awesome

The main event had a legit big fight feel

Seth Rollins ca$hed in his Money in the Bank to steal the Championship — Seth Rollins ca$hed in his Money in the Bank!

Nelson and I headed back to his car under the falling of fireworks — It was a great WrestleMania. And an epic weekend

Nelson and I left the show giddy like we were two kids on Christmas Eve. We rode the high of the night as we walked back to his car, with fireworks falling all around us. BEST.RASSLIN.WEEKEND.EVER.

It was great to meet fans from all over the globe that weekend. Despite being total strangers, everyone was connected through the memories we share of the business. It’s awesome having that shared connection and laugh with strangers as though you’ve known them your whole life. That’s what WrestleMania weekend is all about: fans worldwide coming together for one epic party. Wrestling has a way of bringing out the kid in you, and WrestleMania weekend is as big as it gets. Words don’t do it justice. It’s something every wrestling fan should experience at least once in their life.

And now, here’s a look at my top 10 favorite wrestlers.

10. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase

Virgil, I am not paying you $50 for a card you signed for me back in 1992! — Virgil, I am **not** paying you $50 for a card you signed for me back in 1992!

With his custom built expensive Million Dollar Championship title belt, Ted DiBiase was one of the very best and most consistent bad guys of late ’80s and early ’90s WWF. The man with the evil laugh never put on a single bad match. You loved to boo him but you also loved watching DiBiase wrestle. After all, few did it better than the Million Dollar Man.

9. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

The Hot Rod was one of the best mic men in the business. He was magic on the mic. Although his in-ring work wasn’t particularly great, he always lit up a room with his endless charisma and shenanigans. Completely unpredictable and always entertaining, the Hot Rod will be fondly remembered as one of the all-time legends. One of the few wrestlers in the 1980s to truly cross over into the mainstream, he was the leading man in the 1988 cult favorite, John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE. “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum” goes down in cinema history as one of the best lines ever. Sadly, Piper passed in the late summer of 2015. He is missed, but his legacy lives on forever.

8. Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Seeing him on old school Raw 2014 gave me the chills — Seeing him on old school Raw 2014 gave me chills

There was nothing Jake did that did NOT have a measure of meaning. No movement, no gesture, no move. Everything he did in and out of the ring served a purpose. He was one of the best psychologists that the wrestling business has ever seen. Who could ever forget his slithery python, Damien, or his infamous finishing move, the DDT? Jake blazed a trail and he did it like no one else did. When he returned to Raw for one night in 2014, it was just like Jake: EPIC.

7. “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon

The Razor's Edge = coolest finisher of the '90s — The Razor’s Edge = coolest finisher of the ’90s

“A-yo, chico.” A cock of the head. A flick of the toothpick. And with that, the Bad Guy stole our hearts. The Man Oozin’ with Machismo, Razor burst on to the WWF scene in 1992. He was booed at first, but inevitably, fans all over the world fell in love with the Bad Guy. With his devastating Razor’s Edge finisher, Razor went on to hold the Intercontinental title four times. By far his most memorable moment in the WWF took place at WrestleMania X where Razor and Shawn Michaels stole the show in a groundbreaking Ladder Match for the undisputed, unified IC title. Razor is also widely remembered as the key spark plug that jump-started the infamous nWo faction in WCW that launched the industry altering Monday Night War.

6. Mr. Perfect AKA Curt Hennig

"I am what I say I am, absolutely perfect" — *“I am what I say I am — absolutely perfect”*

From his perfect entrance theme to his perfect look, Mr. Perfect was a world class athlete and entertainer. Widely regarded as one of the best Intercontinental champions of all time, nobody and I mean NOBODY sold bumps like he did. Plus, who could forget those classic sporting vignettes? Tragically, Curt’s life was cut short on February 10, 2003. But his wrestling legacy lives on.

5. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels

Before he became the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels competed in the tag team ranks. But mega superstardom beckoned and the Showstopper answered. One of the greatest performers I’ve ever seen, his legendary dive off the ladder at WrestleMania X remains an iconic image. HBK would go on to rightfully earn the nickname “Mr. WrestleMania.”

4. Bret “The Hitman” Hart

The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be

Bret Hart came from humble beginnings, starting out in a tag team in the WWF known as the Hart Foundation. After scratching and clawing to the top of that division, Bret broke out and found singles success as he became a prominent holder of the Intercontinental Championship title. But he truly cemented his mark on the business in Saskatoon on October 12, 1992. That’s when Bret Hart defeated the great Ric Flair to earn his first WWF Championship, ushering in a new era. Bret Hart was never the biggest guy or the flashiest guy, but he always put on the best matches. The excellence of execution, indeed.

3. The Ultimate Warrior

As a kid I never knew what he said. It all added to his appeal — There will never be another one quite like him

Intensity personified. The Ultimate Warrior was truly one of a kind. From his war paint to his tassles to his bulging muscles, he looked like a comic book super hero. And for any boy living in the late ’80s, the Ultimate Warrior was truly a comic book hero come to life. Sadly, the Warrior journeyed to parts unknown on April 8, 2014. But his legacy continues to endure, and the spirit of the Ultimate Warrior will run on for generations to come.

2. “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan

Not down with his recent actions, but as a kid I adored him — He was the man back in the ’80s

Growing up in the late ’80s, few superstars captivated your imagination quite like the Hulkster. With one tear of his shirt, or one classic “hulk up” moment in the ring, arenas all over the universe went bonkers. “Eat your vitamins, train hard and say your prayers” became a mantra for boys all over the globe in the late ’80s. Hulk Hogan was sort of this mythical figure in the world of professional wrestling. Wrestling would not be where it is today were it not for his many contributions. He wasn’t a great worker but few had the presence of the Hulkster. There’s no denying he took the industry to a whole ‘notha level, “BROTHER!”

1. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

LONG LIVE MACHO MADNESS — LONG LIVE THE MACHO MADNESS

“OOOH YEAH! DIG IT!” Often imitated but never duplicated, they broke the mold when they made the Macho Man Randy Savage. He was on another planet. When you factor in both charisma and wrestling ability, there might be none finer than the Macho Man. Always flamboyant and intense, Randy Savage carved one hell of a legacy that extended beyond the squared circle. He became the voice and face of Slim Jim. To this day whenever I’m at the checkout counter of a Target or gas station, I can’t help but think of Macho. Sadly, he passed on May 20, 2011. However, the Macho Madness lives on through the memories and moments etched in the annals of WWF history.

And now, to cap things off, here are some of the most memorable wrestling moments that have left an indelible mark on me

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

It was Batman vs. Superman, but done right ;) — It was Batman vs. Superman done right ;)

The date, April the 1st, 1990. The scene, the SkyDome in Toronto. The event, WrestleMania VI. It was the most anticipated main event in wrestling history. The Ultimate Challenge. The aging world champ versus the upcoming superstar in the making. Title for title. It didn’t get any bigger than this.

"The Hulkster has just taken one giant step towards immortality!" — *“The Hulkster has just taken one giant step toward immortality!”*

The match lived up to the hype. I rewinded my tape and wore it out as a kid. I must have watched this match 50 times. It went back and forth with lots of false finishes that kept you on the edge of your seat. Finally, when the smoke cleared, a new king emerged and the torch was passed. Epic.

RETIREMENT AND REDEMPTION

Who could forget their classic career ending match at Wrestlemania VII? — One of my favorite WrestleMania matches of all time

The Macho Man sabotaged the Ultimate Warrior, costing him his WWF Championship at the 1991 Royal Rumble. This led to a feud for the ages that culminated in a showdown at WrestleMania VII. Not only that but it was a career ending match, raising the stakes even higher.

Speaking of high stakes, Bobby the Brain Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon had a great exchange during this match:

Heenan: Everything is on the line. Maybe the humanoids don’t understand it. EVERYTHING IS ON THE LINE. Everything they’ve worked for their whole career… the prestige, the wealth, the fortune, the fame. It’s all over here for one of them!

Monsoon: For the guy who loses, when he wakes up tomorrow morning, WHAT’S HE GONNA DO?!

Heenan: HE’S GONNA BE JUST ANOTHER HAM AND EGGER!!

Classic.

Both are now shaking the ropes and dropping elbows in Heaven — I nearly broke my tape rewinding this!

The 20 minute match featured multiple false finishes. Back in 1991 this was unheard of. Especially when the Ultimate Warrior kicked out of FIVE Flying Elbow Drops. Never before had I seen such drama in a match. The Warrior would eventually score the pinfall. However, as great as this match was, what happened after made it one for the history books. After the Warrior left the ring, Macho Man’s manager, Sensational Sherri, turned on Savage with a flurry of vicious kicks. The camera then panned to Elizabeth, Macho Man’s long time partner on and off camera. Her face a teary mess. The crowd started to rise. Elizabeth, no longer able to take it, then jumped the guard rail. She ran to the ring and flung Sherri out to the floor.

One of wrestling's most emotional, redemptive moments — Certain moments like this transcend wrestling itself

A groggy Randy Savage climbed to his feet. He spotted Elizabeth. It was as if he just seen a ghost. The crowd cheered louder as Elizabeth, tears streaking down her face, stood there waiting for Savage to respond. Savage finally embraced her as the humanoids erupted. Gorilla Monsoon’s epic commentary “WHAT A WOMAN, AND WHAT A MAN!” punctuated the moment, as the camera zoomed in to show grown adults crying in the audience. It was one of wrestling’s most redemptive moments: his career “ended” but the rest of his life with his love was just beginning. Storytelling at its best.

THE ULTIMATE RETURN

The Hoosier Dome, 1992. Wrestlemania VIII — *“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”*

By 1992, Hulkamania was starting to wane. The ’80s were long over by now, and the Hulkster was looking more and more obsolete as the years and miles added up. In fact, if you look closely you can see signs in the audience that were pro-Sid (who was supposedly the villain going into the match). Vince McMahon pushed this main event as Hulk Hogan’s “final stand.” The match was what it was. But it was the aftermath that makes it one of my favorite wrestling memories. After the match ended in a weird anticlimactic DQ, Papa Shango hit the ring. This was highly bizarre as Papa Shango wasn’t even in the Hogan-Sid program at any point prior, but clearly the two bad guys were looking to finish off Hulkamania.

Bless Godfather's heart, but story goes he missed his run-in cue, resulting in the botched finish — *“Oh crap, I missed my cue!”*

God bless the Godfather but the story goes he missed his run-in cue. This resulted in an awkward botched DQ finish. As Psycho Sid went to grab a steel chair to end Hulkamania, a familiar entrance theme roared throughout the arena.

I never marked out so hard in my life before — The Hoosier Dome exploded. Pandemonium personified!

It took a few seconds for the fans to register it, as the Warrior had been out of the WWF for some time. There was no internet back then and no rumors of the Warrior coming back at all. It was the last thing on anybody’s mind. But once he came running down the aisle at 200 miles per hour, the fans lost it as did I. It was nuts.

This shot gives me chills. Wrestling ain't what it used to be — Gives me chills. Wrestling ain’t what it used to be

The hair was shorter. The body was less muscular. But yes indeed, it was the Ultimate Warrior. Just two short years prior, Warrior and Hogan headlined WrestleMania in one of the biggest matches of all time. Two years later, ironically, Warrior returned to save the Hulkster. And the fans went absolutely bonkers.

Two of the very best in the ring for the last time together (Halloween Havoc 1998 never happened) — Two childhood icons. It didn’t get any bigger

THE KICK HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

The best bad guy turn of all time — The best heel (bad guy) turn of all time

The Rockers was one of the most popular tag teams in the late ’80s and early ’90s. But as time went on it was evident the breakout star of the team was Shawn Michaels. Sometimes, you just gotta kick dead weight to the curb. Literally.

It was the playground chatter for at least a week!

THE MONDAY NIGHT WAR

The last great golden age of professional wrestling

As hot as wrestling and the WWF became in the late ’80s, rising to prominence seemingly overnight, the industry hit one of its lowest points in the mid ’90s. By then wrestling companies were struggling with a stale product that relied on old gimmicks past its heyday. But as wrestling fans know, the late ’90s saw yet another boom. With WCW going live every Monday night opposite WWF’s Monday Night Raw, viewers suddenly had a choice. This began the Monday Night War. But it wasn’t until the summer of 1996 that things really heated up. That’s when the New World Order faction was born and all-time good guy Hulk Hogan went DARK.

Wrestling then exploded into mainstream popularity with stand out stars such as Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, D-Generation X, Goldberg and the nWo. Monday nights became a constant fun-filled two hours of switching back and forth. Then all day Tuesday you and your friends talked about it at lunch and speculated about what might happen next Monday night. It was a great time!

The war officially ended 15 years ago yesterday. On March 26, 2001, the WWF bought out WCW. And ever since then, wrestling has not been the same.

GETTING TO THE “HART” OF THE MATTER

Wrestling is at its best when real life elements seep in. Look no further than the whole Bret Hart Shawn Michaels Vince McMahon Montreal Screwjob incident. Bret was out of the WWF family for over 12 long years. Finally, on the first episode of Monday Night Raw in 2010, Bret came home. He and Shawn hashed it out in front of a national audience on live TV. What a way to kick off the new decade! It felt like watching two uncles, once seemingly inseparable, burying the hatchet at a family reunion. The moment gave me goosebumps. It was good to see Bret move on once and for all.

RESURRECTION OF JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS AND SCOTT HALL

For a long time if you had asked any wrestling fan which former star was most likely to die next, number one on the list would be Jake Roberts. And second, Scott Hall. Both men had their addictions, and their fall from grace was ugly. Former WCW World Heavyweight Champion turned yoga fitness guru, Diamond Dallas Page, reached out to Jake in 2012. Using DDPYoga and taking responsibility for his own actions, Jake managed to turn his life around. He lost weight but he shed more than just that. He DDT’ed his demons. He got his life right and in 2014 was inducted into the Hall of Fame. It was crazy seeing him up there. Like seeing a ghost or a distant wayward uncle. His story of resurrection and redemption still resonates deeply with me to this day. In his own words, “I’m not where I wanna be, but I sure am better than where I was before.” I salute thee, Mr. Roberts. Keep it up!

"Bad times don't last. But bad guys DO" — *“Bad times don’t last. **BUT BAD GUYS DO!**“*

On that same fateful night, Scott Hall went in the Hall as well. Much like Jake, it was surreal to witness it all. Scott struggled with his drinking demons for years. But DDP took him in and Scott Hall put in the work. He’s an example of how anyone can overcome their hang ups, as long as they’re willing to put the work in.

Amazing what eating right and DDPYoga did for Jake!

Check out DDPYoga for yourself or a loved one who may need it — DDPYoga is saving lives and sweeping the nation

THE ULTIMATE COMEBACK… AND THE ULTIMATE FAREWELL

Not only did Jake and Scott go in, but later that same night the Ultimate Warrior took his rightful place in the Hall of Fame as well. It was the first time he appeared on WWE TV in any capacity in almost 20 years. He delivered one epic speech. For me it was hands down the greatest feel good night in the history of wrestling. April 5, 2014 was a mark out evening for the ages.

ONE LAST MEMORY — *“Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat…”*

On Monday night, April 7, 2014, the Ultimate Warrior made his first appearance on RAW in 17+ years. Sadly, it would also be his last. He delivered the speech of a lifetime in the sort of way that only the Ultimate Warrior could. His life would sadly end the following day. But in his soliloquy, he talked about one day every man’s heart beats its final beat and his lungs breathe their final breath. It was a little eerie. Warrior’s passing sent shock waves through the wrestling community. It seemed surreal. Right before he died, he at least made peace with Vince McMahon, Hulk Hogan and several others. He went out in a blaze of glory.

Vince and Warrior embrace each other for the very last time — Life’s too short to hold grudges. Forgiveness heals

The Ultimate Warrior's final remarks — His haunting final words the night before he passed

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Thanks for the memories, WWF — *“The immovable object meets the irresistible force”*

Professional wrestling will always hold a soft spot in my heart. I grew up on it. I went through Hulkamania. And the Madness. I witnessed the rise of the industry in the late ’80s. I followed it through the mid ’90s when it hit rock bottom. I watched as it EXPLODED in the late ’90s Attitude Era. And to this day I keep up with the product. Every once in a while they’ll do something to make me feel like a little 10 year old kid again. Those magical moments that make you jump out of your chair with mouth agape and goosebumps popping all over your arms. In some ways I feel like these larger than life athletes were once distant uncles of mine growing up. I could always count on them each weekend (and later Mondays) to entertain me for an hour or two. Wrestling has always given me great memories, and regardless of where the business heads going forward, I will always be a fan for life.

DoReMi Fantasy (SFC)

The best SNES platformer not named Mario? Just maybe... — Happy 20th! 3.22.96-3.22.16

Today marks 20 years since the release of one of the finest platformers you could play on your SNES: DoReMi Fantasy. I originally wrote about this game nearly 10 years ago when it wasn’t as well known as it is today. When I first got back into all things Super Nintendo (January 2006), I did so in large part because I wanted to get back to my platforming roots. I scoured the net and looked at the entire SNES library. I saw pictures of a Japanese game called “DoReMi Fantasy” and instantly fell in love. Ever see a picture of a game and knew right away that you had to play it? DoReMi Fantasy had me instantly charmed. The Super Famicom has some amazing games that we Westerners sadly never received. DoReMi Fantasy is one of the best. 10 years ago it was actually obscure. It’s a lot more well known these days due to positive word of mouth over the years. Plus, a Wii Virtual Console release in March 2008 certainly didn’t hurt. It isn’t uncommon to find this game on hidden gem and must have SNES lists. It couldn’t happen to a nicer game, as the old saying goes [I’m pretty sure it doesn’t go like that but ok… -Ed.]

DoReMi Fantasy is a highly polished side-scrolling platformer. There are 8 worlds each with their own theme. In each world there’s a minimum of 6 levels followed by a boss. An overhead map allows you to backtrack. The levels aren’t particularly long but they possess plenty of detail, quirky enemies, excellent backdrops, ace set pieces and ultra smooth gameplay. The game’s sound is also noteworthy — it occasionally foregoes music for ambient sound effects instead. It all helps to create a unique world well worth exploring and spending a weekend or two with.

Milon is a great character, full of charm and animated brilliantly. Graphics are outstanding. The game has a real sense of life to it. You really have to see it in motion to fully appreciate it. Milon can take up to 3 hits. His suit starts out green, then turns blue when hit and finally red. Jumping on an enemy’s head will only stun them. To kill them, you have to first encase them in a bubble and then pop them. It’s a slight twist on the ole hop ‘n bop routine that works well. Although it’s nothing groundbreaking by any means, this slight deviation from the norm is welcomed.

From world 2 on, each level contains a Musical Star you must find and grab (usually not that hard, but later on becomes trickier). Therefore, you’re forced to explore the beautiful layouts (if you finish a stage without getting the star, you can’t battle the boss). Speaking of worlds, let’s take a look at them.

1. THE WOODS

It’s the ole standard forest theme world. Although basic, it manages to pull you into its charming world. Something about SNES visuals that just does it for me. Sure, there might be better out there (i.e. Neo Geo) but visuals like this get me every single time. As with any platformer, the first world is simple and will get you acquainted to the game’s mechanics and control. You may feel a bit uninspired initially but it gets much better. Highlights of this world include a log ride, falling leaves over a pit where you must time your leap from one leaf to the next, and a neat little haunted cabin featuring Pinocchio-esque dolls.

2. FOOD CONSTELLATION TYPE WORLD?

If the first world seemed a bit ho-hum to you, then the second world is a lot more likely to catch your eye. It’s not often that you find a themed world consisting of food and drink items combined with a very atmosphere celestial backdrop. It’s almost like some weird acid trip. Lots of neat graphical touches, a surreal and ambient soundtrack and some bizarre-o enemies make these levels particularly memorable.

Launching posts propel Milon high through the air and usually sends the little guy bursting through blocks in the process. And it feels as awesome as it looks.

Another impressive set piece, if you leave Milon idle for a while, he’ll pull his pointy wizard’s hat over his head as the wine comes pouring down over him. It’s a cute, charming moment that brought a smile to my face the very first time I saw it. Moments like this bring DoReMi Fantasy to life.

3. CHURCH

Some creepy music here! It’s not what you expect, and caught me off guard when I first heard it. It gives this stage a rather eerie, empty feel. Highlights of this world include a bell hopping stage and a unique level where on/off switches litter the floor. Touch any off switch and darkness devours the scene, except for the color of the switches and Milon’s white pupils.

4. WATER

Though much of this level is on land, there are plenty of underwater sequences. I quickly developed a burning hatred for those annoying spear throwing frogmen. And I suspect you will too.

5. ICE

I love this world. It features some of the game’s best looking visuals and stages. It’s incredibly fun to play through. Stage 5-3 is a sled stage that particularly rocks.

Blow a bubble. It’ll freeze, forming a block for Milon to hop on. Brilliant. And yes, as you’d expect those icy blocks are more slippery than a used car salesman. Overall, a really fun world and easily my favorite in the game. So incredibly atmospheric. Those Northern Lights never fail to bring a smile to my heart. You can almost feel the chill. Be sure to play this one by the fireplace if you can

6. FIRE

C’mon you knew this was coming! No 16-bit platformer is complete without the ole mandatory fiery-themed level. I don’t mind tropes so long as they’re done well. And Hudson doesn’t fail to deliver here.

Two fairly difficult force-scrolling levels are spread across this blazing world. OK, so DoReMi Fantasy fulfills all the platforming tropes. When it’s this well done though, who cares? Certainly not me.

7. TOYS R US

The toy stages are stunning. The richness of colors immediately jumps out, radiating off your TV screen. It’s a reminder that 16-bit visuals, when done right, has an undeniable charm that hits all the right notes [I see what you did there… DoReMi Fantasy… notes… har har… -Ed.]. In addition to some gnarly visuals, there are plenty of dangerous little gadgets in this toy world from hell. Black Friday ain’t got nothing on this.

There’s also a haunted house-inspired world. But I’ll save some for you to imagine, or better yet, experience it yourself! If you haven’t played this yet and you consider yourself a fan of the 16-bit era platformer, this is a must play. It’s one of the best Super Famicom-only games ever released, and I wouldn’t hesitate to say it could be the best non-Mario platformer on the entire system. Yes, I believe it’s that damn good.

MISCELLANEOUS NOTES

Slowdown does occur but it’s not often nor does it affect gameplay really

When you lose (whether to a boss or anywhere on a level), you start with 1 hit (red suit). So you’ll find yourself backtracking often to restore your health to 3 hits (green suit) before re-facing the boss. Hard love it is, indeed. Yes, you can backtrack because this game incorporates a map

Infinite continues

4 character password system (too bad it wasn’t battery-backed). Passwords put you on the 1st stage of that world, so you have to do all the work again if, say, you quit at a boss battle

Hold attack until Milon flashes to unleash his super attack. Some situations require his super attack to advance, so be sure to make a mental note of this

Different power-ups are available and hidden inside breakable items. Power-ups include floating shoes, double bubble, bubble gum (very handy should you fall in a bottomless pit), and so forth.

The storyline unfolds in pictures and text. While the text is in Japanese, there isn’t a whole lot. The pictures are self-explanatory when it comes to these cutscenes introducing new gameplay elements in each world

Milon is a selectable character in Hudson’s Saturn Bomberman (1997)

A fan translation (as seen above) was released in August of 2007. Like I said earlier, you can enjoy the game without the translation as there isn’t much text, but it’s sure nice to get the whole package.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

DoReMi Fantasy is an excellent platformer every serious SNES fan should own. It’s a shame it didn’t receive a domestic release. But seeing as how it came out March 1996 (the SNES was practically dead in the US by then), it’s hard to harp on that much. Personally, I think DoReMi Fantasy ranks right up there as one of Super Nintendo’s finest platformers. It’s terrific from top to bottom, and as a friend of mine once put it perfectly: “It’s about as charming as a video game can be.” I couldn’t agree more. Happy 20th anniversary, DoReMi Fantasy!

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 9
Longevity: 7

Overall: 9.0

Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen (SFC)

The game to blame for my obscure Super Famicom fetish — Of Monsters and Mothra

It’s been nearly 10 years since my “Obscure Super Famicom Impressions” thread hit the internet (September 2006). Every two to three days I posted new mini reviews on lesser known Super Famicom exclusive games. The topic became a bigger hit than I ever dreamed it would, and sparked much retro gaming discourse on the forums. While I wasn’t the first guy to ever cover these import titles, my topic did open the door for a lot of people who had never seen or heard of them before. Many suggested I start a fansite to preserve my reviews. Message board posts tend to get buried over time and thus fade into obscurity. The overwhelming compliments and encouragement I received to start my own fansite became a driving force. That’s how my original site, RVGFanatic.com, came to be. To celebrate the 10 year anniversary of my obscure SFC mini reviews, I’m going to begin converting them over here one by one. And I can’t think of a better game to kick it off with than the first game that started it all for me.

Ever been curious about a game for 12 years? This was mine... — Ever been curious about a game for 12 years? This was mine…

I’ll never forget that sunny day back in June 1994 when EGM #60 arrived. During their prime, few things could rival the sheer joy generated from finding a brand new issue sitting in your mailbox. Oh yeah, once upon a time EGM was THAT good.

Imagine this scene: school was out. Summer was in full bloom. You had your trusty best friend and a full two months ahead of you for nothing but long, lazy days of horror movie and video gaming marathons. Super Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat II were all the rage. Both were coming out soon and you just knew you were experiencing the very peak of 16-bit gaming. It was a hell of a time to be a ten year old kid!

January 2006. It was the Winter Break before my final college semester. I suddenly longed for some Super Nintendo action. The next several months saw me buying old favorites and gems left and right. Then at some point I remembered that day back in June ’94…

Flipping excitedly through the magazine, there it was on page 76.

The game that eluded me for 12 years! The EGM preview had me drooling like a fool

I love Godzilla. I love fighting games. It was a match made in Heaven.

Only one problem, of course.

Raking in a grand total of a whoppin’ two dollars a week, the game, being an enchanted import, seemed simply unattainable. Nowadays import is just another version of a game, but back then the word import actually held a certain mystique. You drooled at the cool previews and knew if anyone owned those games, in those times, that they were unequivocably HARDCORE.

So how does GODZILLA: KAIJUU DAIKESSEN stack up?

Pretty damn well.

You’re not going to find many combos or a whole lot of finesse, but considering the material it’s only fitting. The game relies on special moves a lot.

X = Weak Attack
Y = Strong Attack
B = Hold (grapple then press varying D-Pad combinations i.e. D, F to toss or bite)
A = Dash

WRATH OF THE GODZ(ILLA)

There are two bars to keep an eye on. The Stun Meter and the WRATH spirit.

When hit, your stun and WRATH meter increases. When your stun meter’s full, you’ll be knocked out temporarily. When your WRATH is full, your monster will flash red and remain so until you either get stunned, or apply your Wrath attack.

Wrath attacks are basically “Desperation Moves.” Desperation moves became very common place in fighting games post-1993. Wrath attacks can inflict INCREDIBLE damage, instantly changing the tide of a match.

When you’re in Wrath mode, attack damage (regular or special moves) nearly double. This creates a bit of strategy: do you go for your big move right away, or do you hold off and take advantage of the extra power? If you do the latter, you risk the possibility of being stunned and thus losing your Wrath move altogether. It’s prudent, then, to always keep an eye on your stun meter. The worst insult is when the opponent stops you in mid-animation of a Wrath move. Or if they jump away or over it. Management of one’s Wrath usually decides the outcome of a battle.

There are eight selectable monsters in the 1 player mode, and nine in the 2 player versus mode (with two being unlockable). Let’s take a look at them, shall we?

GODZILLA

The big guy is a solid all-around choice. His ray works in mid-air as a bonus. Ideal for beginners.
WRATH: Hyper Atomic Ray
Damage: 46% (55% if up close stuns the opponent)
Godzilla’s body surges in a orange rage before unleashing his devastating death blow. Simple, but nevertheless satisfying.

ANGILAS

Godzilla's very first rival who later turned into a lovable and loyal ally — Godzilla’s very first rival (1955)

Staying true to source material, the spiked wonder has no projectiles. Beloved by G-Fans for his fighting spirit, it’ll take an experienced player to use him effectively.
WRATH: Thunder Ball
Damage: 45%
Not very strong (by comparison) and to boot it’s easy to see coming. Poor guy.

GIGAN

His laser eye beam exists! (Inside joke for the G-Fans out there). He’s the most combo-friendly fighter on the roster and the only one with a Dragon Punch (actually a Flash Kick). Gigan possesses a tremendous offensive repertoire.
WRATH: Buzzsaw Blitz
Damage: 53%
Gigan charges up to ½ the screen and unloads a blitzkrieg. Unblockable.

MEGALON

His movie gets hated on a lot but I enjoyed its tag team finale — Suck it, Beetlemania

Like Gigan and Godzilla, Megalon is very user-friendly. His torpedo-like attack can also be done in the air. When you hold down Strong Attack, Megalon’s driller-like hand spins and can score four solid hits.
WRATH: Armageddon
Damage: 64% (88% recorded on Biollante!!!)
Potentially the strongest move in the game, it’s a blessing it’s also real easy to avoid. I was speechless when it caused 88% damage to Biollante. Damn near ripped off her vines on that one!

(O.G.) MECHAGODZILLA

Ah, the good old original beer belly MechaG — Beer belly MechaG!

Force field, missiles, laser-eye beams, chest beam, flight — all the powers you saw in the 1974 and ’75 movies are here. Many G-Fans to this day prefer this original pot belly version over its ’93 contemporary. Myself included.
WRATH: Violent Party
Damage: 55% + stuns opponent if everything hits.
MechaG unloads his entire arsenal! As seen in the movie

KING GHIDORAH

Godzilla's "Joker" if you will — Godzilla’s “Joker”

This huge 3-headed menace is a strong choice for beginners thanks to his overpowering brutality. For example, his laser beam can go LOW (right head), MIDDLE (middle head) or HIGH (left head). Input D, DF, F, attack. As he revs up, hold down for low, nothing for middle, and up for high. He’s as tough here as he was in the movies!
WRATH: Gravity Storm
Damage: 60% (68% if full-on)
One of the game’s most damaging Wrath attacks, Ghidorah unleashes Death From Above.

BIOLLANTE

She's a beaut, well, in a monstrous sort of way — What a sprite!

What a hulking mass! She’s the game’s best sprite by a mile, which is saying a lot seeing as how the others are damn good in their own right. Bio cannot jump, just like in the 1989 movie. She’s also not the most agile sucker around. Therefore I find her somewhat difficult to control. Definitely one for the intermediate to advanced player.
WRATH: Acidic Shower
Damage: 55%
Very cool looking, does considerable damage and the two vines travel around ¾ the screen. After the vines spew acid on the victim, Bio unleashes a volley of acidic fireballs. OUCH!

MOTHRA

Definitely 100x more fun to control here than she was in the NES game! — Better than she was in the NES game!

I was never a huge Mothra fan. But she’s fun to use. The only monster to constantly fly, she’s also unique due to the fact that she cannot block. [I’d sure hate to see her Twitter account -Ed.]. She is also one of two monsters (the other being Super MechaGodzilla) to have two Wrath moves.
WRATH #1: Cosmic Seal
Damage: 44%
Weak but really easy to implement. It’s a trade-off.
WRATH #2: Dark Echo
Damage: 69%
Mothra traps her victim in a magic powder cloud and from out of nowhere comes BATTRA for the assist!

There are three bosses but the last two you can only fight in EXPERT mode. The first boss is immediately selectable in the 2 Player mode. The other two are unlockable via code. The three bosses are MechaGodzilla II, Super MechaGodzilla and Guoten (seriously, a giant battleship? Give me a monster at least!)

IN HONOR OF GODZILLA: STOCK FOOTAGE

Angilas is red with envy he doesn’t have one

I’m glad the developers didn’t force the issue and created one for Angilas for the hell of it. The game for the most part stays amazingly close to the source material. Just look at those stages. Most of them are yanked right out of the various Godzilla flicks. The few creative liberties taken (i.e. Gigan’s Flash Kick) are well implemented and still make sense within the Godzilla universe. If anything, these liberties breathe new life into these old monsters while their traditional powers keep the fanbase satisfied, like a warm cup of cocoa on a cold winter evening.

While it doesn’t damage them any more than normal, I always love zapping them in the crotch whenever using Mothra. Yeah, I know. The little joys in gaming, eh?

All of the monsters, sans Biollante and Mothra, can attack downward while jumping. Just hold down+attack in mid-air. For example, Megalon drills the air as his default jumping strike, but with down+attack his feet does the talking. Quite useful.

MISCELLANEOUS NOTES

Zero slowdown. Kind of amazing when you consider the size of some of these monsters

Destroyable scenery abounds and magically regenerates for each round

Godzilla, Megalon, Mech, King Ghidorah and Gigan can all do their projectiles in mid-air

Godzilla doesn’t have a stage. You fight him on your own home turf, and your regular music is replaced by the ace Godzilla theme, replicated to a tee. Mothra’s remix is likewise excellent!

2 player mode has options of 1-5 handicap, time limit on/off and a stage select

In 1 player mode, you select the enemy order (similar to the Fatal Fury series). Unfortunately though, there’s no character switching, so if you pick Mothra you’re stuck using her until you quit the 1 player game. Not a huge flaw, but a head scratcher as being able to pick a new character off a continue is common practice within the genre

Japanese language is very little. Game menus are all in English. And there are no victory quotes because, er, these monsters can’t talk. Ahem. *Blocks out the infamous dub scene from GODZILLA VS. GIGAN*

The Duo version suffered from having a limited moveset and only two buttons, one of which was used to jump. Thankfully, in the Super Famicom version jumping is done by simply pressing up. The moveset is also much greater and the visuals blow the Duo game out of the water. Just too bad the Duo version got Hedorah and the Super Famicom version didn’t. Love me some Smog Monster!

This game, as seen previewed in EGM earlier, was slated for a North American release under the name of Godzilla Monster Super Battle. Sadly, it was canned. It even got as far as Nintendo Power Magazine reviewing the NA port. But look on the bright side, at least SNES players were graced by the likes of Super Godzilla! *whomp whomp whomp* Man, did we get fleeced or what

EYE SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

The controversy continues... — The controversy continues…

I remember renting Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972) some odd 20 years later, circa 1992. It was at the local mom and pop rental shop, Video Mart. I loved that little store. It had some Godzilla tapes which I rented quite a bit. I remember seeing this box one day and was immediately captivated. Who is this new Gigan creature? He was such a unique looking monster and I fell in love with the design instantly. The box art showed him firing a laser beam from his forehead, but it never actually appeared in the movie. Nor did it appear in the movie Godzilla vs. Megalon, which came out the year after and featured Gigan’s second and final appearance. That was, at least, until Toho resurrected him 30+ years later to be the main villain for Godzilla’s final Japanese film, Godzilla: Final Wars. That is, at least, until Godzilla Resurgence hits Japanese theatres July 29, 2016. Whew, anyone confused yet? You just can’t keep a good monster down.

Anyway, for a long time before Gigan finally used his laser beam in Godzilla: Final Wars, G-Fans had plenty of discussion regarding whether he had said weapon or not in his bag of tricks. There’s actually a scene in the 1972 film where it looks like Gigan is about to MAYBE use it, but it flashed and sort of fizzled out. Hmmm, maybe monsters suffer from performance anxiety issues too. Uh, not that I’d know anything about that. Ahem. At any rate, some fans like to believe he had the power all along but it broke. Ah, fandom. Gotta love it. It was nice to see Gigan firing off his laser beam in Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen. The game beat the Final Wars movie by a good 10 years. Fans in 2004 rejoiced that Gigan finally got to use his laser eye beam, but Super Famicom players know better

Now see, where else could you learn such useless information as this but on RVGFanatic? In fact, why even go to college. I got you covered! [Don’t listen to this crazy man. Kids, for the love of Godzilla, stay in school -Ed.]

CLOSING THOUGHTS

So many crap Godzilla games over the years. This is a fresh breath of radioactive destruction! — *Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen* is a fresh breath of radioactive destruction!

We’ve received so many crap Godzilla games over the years. Especially if you consider anything pre-1994. Godzilla: Kaijuu Daikessen is a more than a serviceable effort. It’s more than a mere wink and nostalgic nod. If you consider yourself a diehard G-Fan, and you enjoy fighting games, then you’ll probably love this. Playing it 12 years later in 2006 was a bit of a bittersweet experience for me. Sweet in the sense that the game lived up to the hype my 11-year-old imagination forged 12 years prior on that scorching summer day of 1994. But bitter because I didn’t get to play this as an 11-year-old kid. I know my old best friend Nelson and I would have loved this, and we probably would never have left our living rooms.

That’s not to say the game is perfect. If you like fighting games but don’t particularly care for the Big Guy, I wouldn’t go out of my way to play this. This game won’t convert any non-fan. On its own, it sports a decent if somewhat unimpressive fighting engine. It’s super basic and lacks combos (which makes sense when you think about it since these are behemoths and not karate masters of the universe). BUT with the characters, their trademark moves and roars, suddenly it all falls into place. The graphics are great and the sound is awesome. The replicated themes would send a shiver down the spine of any G-Fan. The kaiju sprites are simply amazing. This is truly the Godzilla game G-Fans deserve on the Super Nintendo (yeah, we won’t talk about Super Godzilla). The sights and sounds will take you back to the good old days when the Big Guy stomped all over your TV screen. I know for me playing this game brought back a ton of memories from all the various old Godzilla films I’d seen over the years. Let us also not forget how easy it’d be to half-ass a game like this, so major kudos to Alfa System for not doing so. They could have easily coasted on the coattails of a strong licensing brand, but you can tell Alfa did their homework (AND extra credit assignment) right as soon as you pop the game in. The visuals, sounds and the representation of the monsters are sure to give G-Fans a major nostalgic rush. Taking us right back to the dusty sci-fi section of our local mom and pop shop on Saturday mornings and way back to the Godzilla Power Hour. For that, I salute thee, Alfa System. A job well done!

My only wish? More monsters joining the fray! Particularly Baragon, Jet Jaguar, Titanosaurus, King Seesar, Hedorah the Smog Monster, oh heck, even Minya! A speed setting would have been nice, too. But nonetheless, I am more than satisfied. It’s a tremendous fan service and really captures the essence of the Godzilla universe. Best of all, it gives us one Godzilla game worth playing on the Super Nintendo. It’s only fitting that the “King of Monsters” would have at least one quality game representing him on the “King of Systems.”

Graphics: 9
Sound: 9
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 9

Overall: 9.0

Blackthorne (SNES)

Kids fear the boogeyman. Little goblins fear Kyle F'N Blackthorne — Kids fear the boogeyman. Little goblins fear Kyle F’N Blackthorne

It’s no secret that the SNES lacks in the abundance of “mature games.” The Genesis is more well known for its darker, grittier games while the SNES is often seen as the system with super colorful, bright, “cutesy” type games. With furry critters, mascot platformers galore and cute mannerisms when said mascot is idle. However, that doesn’t mean the system was completely devoid of mature games. One of the very finest in that department is BLACKTHORNE. Players assume control of Kyle Blackthorne, an elite badass mercenary who is easily one of the coolest protagonists in 16-bit history. As a kid playing this you couldn’t help but feel so BADASS carrying a sawed-off shotgun and blasting goblins to Kingdom Come. Only you can deliver swift justice in a war-swept nation of chaos!

“I HAVE COME HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM. AND I’M ALL OUT OF BUBBLE GUM”

Kyle Blackthorne reminds me of Roddy Piper's character from the cult classic, THEY LIVE. R.I.P Hot Rod — Kyle Blackthorne reminds me of Nada from the cult classic, *THEY LIVE*. R.I.P Hot Rod

I first played Blackthorne back in ’94 when I rented it for my brother for the weekend. We fell out of our chairs when my brother “accidentally” shot a good guy and actually killed him. The game has been firmly embedded in my gaming heart ever since. There’s just something really cool about Blackthorne. It feels different from your typical SNES game, and there’s something to be said about that. Hell, I still have the poster EGM handed out to subscribers back in the day. I love its comic book-like art style. It proudly hangs in my game room to this day. Each time I walk in I take a moment to not only admire my collection, but the artwork of the poster as well.

Blackthorne may not be a Super Nintendo classic per se, but damn if it doesn’t come rather close. It captured my imagination more than 20 years ago. It’s a game I enjoy coming back to again and again still to this day. Part of what captivated me so much was the game’s story and opening cinematic. I always felt this would make such a cool sci-fi movie. The intro absolutely resonated with my 11-year-old being at the time. It set the scene perfectly, creating a moody, morbid world of good versus evil. The whole prodigal son angle adds even more intrigue. I mean, who doesn’t love a good redemption story?

Bee tee dubs [TELL ME … YOU DIDN’T JUST… SAY DAT -Booker T], here’s a fun little fact. This is a “lost” review from my original site, RVGFanatic.com. I worked on it all October long, and was set to launch it right on the eve of Halloween 2015. That’s when I first discovered I couldn’t. Never fret, this “lost” review is now being restored and revealed for the first time in the history of cyberspace. Can’t you just feel the excitement bubbling over? [It’s practically up to my neck… -Ed.]

RAMPAGE, RUIN AND REDEMPTION…

No, not the Sarlaac Pit Monster — Not to be confused with the Sarlacc Pit Monster *[You had to, huh? -Ed.]*

These nightmarish visions haunt Kyle day and night

By the way, imagine if that were Large Marge rolling down the highway... — Imagine if that were **LARGE MARGE** rolling down the highway…

SIMBA BLACKTHORNE?

Both Blackthorne and the Lion King are redemption stories of a son returning home to dethrone a false king

On a related note, I find it fascinating that the plot of Blackthorne nearly mirrors that of the Lion King. Both feature a fair and just king only to be murdered by an evil adversary who then takes over the throne. Meanwhile, the rightful heir to the throne and the son of the former king is living his own life somewhere far away. Until that is, one day he’s finally summoned back home to take care of unfinished business. Back to where it all began to avenge the death of his father. There’s a lot of striking similarities between the two but it’s all probably just random coincidence as the Lion King came out June 1994 and Blackthorne was released only three short months later. The Lion King‘s plot isn’t exactly original or one-of-a-kind, either. Nevertheless, I find the whole connection between the two (even if it’s completely happenstance) to be of note. I love the father-son and prodigal son redemption theme that both of them possess. And yes I’m still holding out for the Blackthorne motion picture and Broadway musical.

Furthermore, both good kings had a wise elder in some sort of advisory role. Mufasa had that creepy little monkey Rafiki while Vlaros had Galadril by his side. And both Rafiki and Galadril were responsible for beckoning Simba and Kyle Blackthorne back to their homeland in order to reclaim it as their own. It’s just another wild similarity. Now you know if you ever become king, make sure you have a wise advisor at your side. That way should you die, your advisor will at least be able to lure your wayward son back home to save it!

Rafiki was a creepy little monkey, wasn’t he?

FLASHBACK TO A TIME WHEN GAMES WERE OUT OF THIS WORLD

Gotta love the gritty bleak visuals. They really set the game's mood and tone — The gritty bleak visuals really set the game’s mood and tone

Blackthorne employs a rotoscoping animation technique. Some other SNES games incorporating this technology were Out of This World, Flashback, Prince of Persia and the long delayed Nosferatu. Kyle comes with highly detailed animations but at the cost of Mario-esque fluid platforming. You have to be very precise with your movements and it can feel a bit mechanical at times. It takes a bit of time to get used to, but for this sort of game I feel it works. Just don’t expect to zip through the levels because Mario you ain’t! But then again, I guess you could say Kyle Blackthorne Mario ain’t!

TAKE NO PRISONERS, NoA

My brother and I fell out of our chais when we first saw this 20+ years ago — My brother and I fell out of our chairs when we first saw this 20+ years ago

I’ll never forget the time I sat there in my old living room, watching my brother play this game. He fired off a shot at an innocent good guy and as he crumbled to the ground, so too did we! It was a moment in history for us. With the uncensored Mortal Kombat II also released at roughly the same time, this was a major change of heart for Nintendo of America. No longer was this strictly a “kiddie” system as NoA battled head to head with the Sega Genesis for 16-bit brand supremacy in the mid-’90s. OK sure the blood is green but STILL, killing chained innocents! It was simply unheard of at the time, and in my 11-year-old mind it instantly elevated Blackthorne into a special category all its own.

Shooting them behind the back without looking? It blew my 11-year-old mind

There are no ramifications one way or the other for killing or saving them, though. I kind of wish the game rewarded you for keeping them alive (especially when enemies come into play and you save the prisoners from getting killed in the line of fire). This would have added in an extra layer to the game. An extra layer of skill and morals. With there being no punishment though, I freely admit that still to this day I rarely hesitate to put a slug in their heads each and every single time. I know, I’m terrible. But damn is it still a blast more than 20 years later. Well, maybe not for the Androthi, but definitely for moi

Some of them help you, so you should spare them. SHOULD... — Some of them help you, so you should spare them. SHOULD…

Be sure to talk to them first at least before putting them out of their misery. Some will have helpful items or the odd hint here and there. If you kill them before conversing, then you risk losing out on whatever advice or item they had for you. After a bit of chit chat though, they are indeed fair game…

YOU GO HIDE, AND LET ME SHOOT. LET ME BE THE ONE TO MAKE YOU HOOT

The bulk of the gameplay consists of you battling these goblin henchmen known as Graggs. The first wave of Graggs early on in the game start out simple enough. A couple shots and they die. Later they get much tougher and fire off more bullets so the difficulty jumps by quite a bit. Get ready for plenty of “hide and shoot” battles. Duck into the shadows to avoid the bullets being pumped your way. Once the Gragg takes time to reload, you bound out of the darkness to fire back. Blizzard obviously took creative liberty since I don’t think in real life you can dodge a bullet by merely ducking into the shadows [Try it out sometime Steve, and let me know how that works out for ya -Ed.]. I like to think of this system as a very early, primitive model of what would eventually morph into games such as Gears of War. Blackthorne‘s early take on hide and shoot isn’t exactly the most thrilling gameplay experience, especially today in 2016, but it’s the atmosphere that makes this game through and through. There’s simply not much else like it on the SNES.

Expect plenty of "hanging on the ledge by the pinky figner" action as well — Expect plenty of “hanging on the ledge by a pinky” action as well

Blackthorne is a very methodical game. Kyle can only walk when holding his shotgun. To run or jump you have to first put your gun away. It puts sort of a “speed bump” in the action. On the bright side, Kyle can kneel, roll and even hang onto ledges by the tip of his fingers. This style of slower paced gameplay isn’t for everyone, especially those who enjoy more seat-of-the-pants action. It can grow a bit repetitive as the game progresses since there are only a small handful of level themes, but it’s got such an engrossing atmosphere that I don’t mind traversing the many similar looking levels.

TOOLS OF DESTRUCTION

Along the way you’ll find some helpful items for Kyle’s cause. These items can be found either by talking to the Androthi prisoners or in some cases can only be found by killing a certain bad guy. Don’t mind if I do! I love all of the items but my favorites have to be the bridge key (for how damn cool it looks and how neat it sounds inserting the key) and the levitator.

It looks and sounds so damn cool — These laser proof combat boots sure come in handy

This item can be recycled but sometimes must be sacrificed, like here — This item can be recycled but at times must be sacrificed, like here

Guide and detonate the Wasp Bomb at your heart's choosing! — Guide and detonate the Wasp Bomb at your heart’s choosing!

Love those skeletal corpses in the background — The skeletons add such a morbidness to the mine

THE KARNELLIAN SWAMPS

These traitors are known as Andromedogs. They're human but somehow much tougher than the Graggs — Andromedogs are human but somehow much tougher than Graggs. Go figure

It’s refreshing to see the Androthi unchained on these levels. However, you can still “accidentally” fire at them. But this time, if you do that…

... they'll fire right back! And they're DAMN tough — … they’ll fire right back! And they’re DAMN tough

PASSWORD FRIENDLY

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID

Nintendo Power named it their 86th best Nintendo game of all time (September 1997) — Nintendo Power named it their 86th best game of all time (issue #100, September 1997)

Blackthorne fared well with the critics. It earned Game of the Month honors with EGM, who scored it with marks of 8, 8, 8 and 8. I remember thinking back in ’94 how cool it was that the Game of the Month didn’t receive any 9s. If I’m not mistaken, that was a first in EGM history. GameFan gave it ratings of 90, 88 and 85%. Super Play wasn’t quite as impressed (what else is new). They rated the game 76%. Nintendo Power was a big fan. In their 100th issue (Sept. ’97) they ranked Blackthorne as the 86th best Nintendo-related video game of all time. That’s some mighty praise there. Overall, it’s been well received.

Super Play were tough graders... — Super Play were tough graders…

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Blackthorne's world consists of grims and grays. The bleak, desolate feel of the game is deliciously palpable — *Blackthorne*‘s world is grim and gray. The bleak, desolate feel of the game is deliciously palpable

When it comes to darker mature games, the SNES is certainly a bit lacking in that department. However, Blackthorne is a shining example of an atmospheric game that went against the grain of your typical SNES offering. Combine that with some excellent animation and solid (albeit basic) action puzzle platforming and what you have here is a very strong effort. Unfortunately, it’s weighed down by a few too many flaws to be considered a bonafide classic. The incredible animation came at the expense of ultra fluid gameplay. Blackthorne is not the smoothest playing game in the world. There are moments where you may want to scream and shout at your TV. Mario fluid this is not. You must be very precise and deliberate in your choices. It’s a rewarding experience although perhaps one that isn’t always instantly gratifying.

Blackthorne definitely stands out in the vast SNES library — *Blackthorne* definitely stands out in the vast SNES library

Another flaw is that while the game starts out with a bang, it can quickly grow a bit tedious and tiresome. Duck in the shadows. Run and jump. Hang on ledges. Solve simple puzzles. There isn’t a great deal of locales either. There are 17 levels containing one of four themes: mine, swamp, sand and Sarlac’s castle. After a while they all seem to somehow blend together a bit. But for all the flaws listed, this game knocks it out of the park in terms of attitude and atmosphere. Every detailed pore of its world bleeds with desolation, despair and dread. There’s an overwhelming sense of bleak futility that permeates the game’s 17 levels. Yet in spite of the foreboding thickness, there’s always a glimmer of shining hope in the form of one, Kyle Blackthorne. With his trusty sawed-off shotgun and a never-say-die attitude, players are flung into a grim world of grays and darkness. It’s one of the more immersive games I’ve ever played on the Super Nintendo, and one I enjoy breaking out every late fall or winter season. There’s just something cool about it. While it’s far from perfect, it’s damn good and one of the better “mature” games on the entire system. As such, it will always hold a noteworthy place in the annals of SNES history.

Graphics: 8.5
Sound: 8.5
Gameplay: 8
Longevity: 7

Overall: 8.5

Double Silver Award